#827 Sauna has no Boundaries

Sure enough, the sauna became a huge hit at the farm.

The main enthusiasts were the orcs and goblins.

They really seem to enjoy that macho vibe.

Sitting in the sauna, arms crossed and silent, was exactly as I had imagined.

The farm’s orcs and goblins were so eager to cram into the sauna that the small tent was nowhere near enough.

Lining up sauna tents along the coast didn’t seem right either, so we ended up building a wooden sauna house.

Once that decision was made, the orcs’ passion for construction kicked in, and in no time, they built a sophisticated sauna house.

It was situated by the river.

The coast would’ve been risky due to the high tides. We chose a spot less affected by weather yet still near enough to the water for an immediate cool-down.

Still, we had to be cautious of the river’s current, which could be dangerously swift at times.

The sauna house was spacious, accommodating about 30 people at once.

It used a magical heating system, quickly raising the temperature to nearly 120 degrees.

120 degrees?

That’s a sauna for you.

Just remember to put a towel on your seat so you don’t scorch your bottom.

Still, it wasn’t big enough for everyone on the farm, so we made additional, more unique saunas.

What’s fascinating is this raft-style sauna, floating leisurely on the sea, with a sauna house built right on top of it.

The idea is that once you get overheated in the sauna, you can just jump straight into the sea.

Who even comes up with these things?

We also experimented with a rock sauna, heating piles of stones and creating steam by pouring water on them.

You pour water over the heated rocks, generating steam, a process called löyly in Finnish.

Every time the steam hits them, everyone’s face lights up as if to say, “Ahh, that’s the stuff.”

Thus, numerous saunas were built as a favorite pastime, and it wasn’t just the orcs and goblins who got hooked on them.

Even Bacchus, the god of wine who resides on the farm, seemed to have taken a great liking to the sauna.

“Ooooooh! Beer tastes so good after a saunaaaaaaaaaa!”

The reason was, unsurprisingly, alcohol-related.

Well, even after a bath, beer is crazy good. 

Imagine how much more delightful it becomes when you’re heated up after a sauna session.

No wonder Bacchus’s reaction is so favorable.

“Beer tastes amazing! Everyone’s asking for beerrrrrrr! It makes beer taste so much better in the cold winter!!!”

People usually lean towards sake in winter, but this increased beer consumption was a pleasant surprise.

I also find myself reaching for a bottle after the sauna, despite milk being a good choice.

However, there were some skeptical onlookers.

Particularly the women.

For instance, my wife, Platy, commented...

“Men get obsessed with the weirdest things when they’re bored in winter...”

And Garra Rufa, a veteran mermaid, chimed in...

“Sudden high temperatures can impair cognitive abilities and potentially damage the brain. I can’t understand why you’d willingly engage in such risky behavior.”

Stop making such sharp retorts from a doctor’s perspective!!!

A-As a sauna enthusiast, I can’t let that slide!

A sauna isn’t just some masochistic form of entertainment!

It’s also good for your health!

Otherwise, it wouldn’t have become such a big craze.

The nerve-soothing aspect is important, but so is the sweating from the heat!

Sweating is good for health!

The word ‘detox’ also comes to mind, and sweat helps to expel old and toxic substances from within the body!

And most importantly, there’s something particularly beneficial for the ladies...

“You can lose weight.”

“HM?!”

“You often hear that sweating leads to weight loss, right? In a sauna, you sweat buckets because of the heat. It’s pretty obvious that you’re losing water weight.”

And let’s not forget the moisturizing benefits for the skin from the detox process.

It’s all-around beneficial!!!

***

How did things come to this?

Now, the sauna is fully occupied by women.

I haven’t peeked inside to confirm if it’s actually full, but judging from the number of women who rushed in, it’s probably packed like a crowded train.

So, I can’t look inside.

There are women in there.

Peeping is a crime!!!

“Is it true you can lose weight in a sauna?!”

“Lose weight! Lose weight! Lose weight!”

“If it’s this hot, the fat on our bodies must be burning off, right?!”

“I’ve been eating non-stop all winter. I’ve gained so much weighttttttt!”

“Sauna, burn our faaaaaaaaaaat!!!”

Their voices, clear even through the sauna door, reveal their obsession with weight loss.

Why are they so keen to shed kilograms?

“Platy, Platy?”

I call out through the door.

My wife Platy has also holed herself up in the sauna, hoping to shed some weight.

“Isn’t it about time you come out? Staying in the sauna for thirty minutes, no matter how much you want to slim down, is way too risky.”

“It’s fine, Dear! The sauna is the savior sent from heaven for us ladies in winter! I won’t step out until I’ve atoned for the karma of those ten mochi I ate the other day!!!”

Did she really eat that many?

That’s clearly a calorie overdose, but if you plan to lose it afterward, why eat it in the first place?

“To truly appreciate a cooked dish, you must serve it on a plate! I’ll just burn off what I’ve eaten hereeeeeee!!!”

“The idea of scorching away excess fat in extreme heat – groundbreaking! I must investigate the medical basis for thisssssss!!!”

“For the sake of producing delicious milk, maintaining an ideal figure is a must! Sauna, do your magic, pleaseeeeeeee!!!”

“Office work means no exercise at allllll! Using the sauna for beauty is a must for office ladiessssss!!!”

Not just Platy but other women are also ensnared by the sauna.

From Aileron, Garra Rufa, Panu, to Belena, their voices echoed.

Did everyone really gain that much weight over the winter?

Saunas are fine for slimming, but staying too long is bad for your health.

“Just sitting in the sauna is too easy! Yes, why not exercise inside for a combined effect and lose even more?!”

“What a great idea! Let’s do push-ups and sit-ups!”

“At the end of this agony, a slim waist awaits!!!”

This is bad.

Exercising intensely in a sauna could lead to even more danger.

I need to somehow get these women out of the sauna and stop this reckless dieting.

But how can I coax them out without being forceful?

Dragging them out would brand me as a pervert and get me socially annihilated.

The best approach would be to make them want to leave on their own.

But how exactly?

Ah.

Then it struck me. There was a similar anecdote in my memory’s archives.

“Bacchus! A beer, please!”

“Huh? What’s with the sudden order?”

Though taken aback by the abrupt request, Bacchus remains divine, promptly fulfilling the order and serving the beer.

I gulp it down in one go.

“Ahhh, that’s delicious! Nothing beats a beer after a sauna!!!”

“...?!”

Good, the women in the sauna have taken notice of the bait.

Borrowing an idea from his myth, the Amano-Iwato strategy! The temptation of beer is irresistible to a throat parched by the sauna.

Time for a follow-up move without hesitation!

“An ice cream would melt nicely in a belly heated by the sauna, right? Come on, everyone! How about a midwinter ice cream party? We’ve got loads of parfaits and chocolates!!!”

The lure of sweets should be irresistible for girls!

Can they still resist coming out of the sauna now?!

“ORYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

Just as expected, they emerged.

For girls, the lure of sweets is hard to resist even under normal conditions, let alone when dehydrated from the sauna.

With their brains boiled to a pulp, the temptation of cold treats and beer hits even harder!

And then, the women turned wild.

“Uoooh! Calm down, don’t stampede! I’ve got enough sweets for everyone! Wait, who’s trying to bite my finger?! Gyaaaah!!!”

Driven by intense heat and hunger, the women devoured the prepared snacks and drinks.

Thus, they ended up gaining more weight than before.

Moderation and planning are key, even when trying to slim down in a sauna.