#826 Regulated Enthusiasm

The true essence of life is all about lazing around leisurely.

Pure bliss.

The lesson I learned from President the Lifeless King, a legend from the Showa era, was just that.

All work and no play isn’t good for humans.

You need to find a balance between work and rest.

So, today, I’ve dedicated my time to doing nothing productive.

And what better way to do that than building a sauna?!

...But why a sauna, you ask?

Well, it all started with my trusty kotatsu, which was a hit recently.

It made me crave for something... a bit more intense.

You see, our dogs and cats here are crazy about the kotatsu.

They dive into it as if their lives depend on it, only to emerge within an hour, either because it’s too hot or they just get bored.

Then they cool off outside, have a drink, and before you know it, they’re back under the kotatsu. 

Watching them go back and forth, it hit me: they’re practically doing sauna sessions. That’s when I got the itch to experience a sauna myself.

Speaking of saunas, they’re the epitome of masculine romance.

Entering a space so hot it feels like your lungs will burn, sweating buckets in hopes of slimming down - that’s the dream.

Men seem to have a thing for saunas, don’t they?

Maybe it’s the old boxing movies we idolize?

I mean, why else would someone willingly subject themselves to such blistering heat... unless they’re a bit masochistic? However, the true challenge is enduring that scorching heat (not running away from it) and stepping out into the cold air for that rapid cooldown!

The drastic change from hot to cold wakes up every nerve in your body. You feel reborn, wanting to proclaim, “I am renewed!”

So, driven by that desire, I decided to build my very own sauna.

Since there’s nothing like it on my farm, I had to start from scratch.

I chose the beach as the location.

Right by the sea.

Some might say building it there is asking for trouble - one storm and it could all come crashing down. But I figured it’s probably not going to be used much during the hot summer months, so a temporary setup for the winter should do.

Building something more permanent would mean enlisting the orcs’ help again.

...But wait. 

Why should I bother with a fancy log cabin style?

Apparently, there are saunas you can just set up at a campsite.

Just take a tent, bring in a firewood heater, and fire it up to heat the place!

It sounds like a blast for an outdoor adventure!

Okay, change of plans! Let’s go build an otherworldly DIY tent sauna!

So, the things I need are...

- A sturdy outdoor tent.

- A heater for the heat source.

- Wood for fuel.

...That should cover it.

Luckily, we already have a firewood heater.

It’s part of the basic heating setup at my farm.

They’re all over the place, and we’ve got plenty of backups in case of an emergency, so borrowing one won’t be an issue.

The real challenge is the tent.

We don’t have any of those on the farm.

I’ll have to make it from scratch.

Thankfully, we’ve got plenty of felt, perfect for the tent material, all managed by our sheep under Batemy.

I took some of that felt, cut it to size, used sturdy bamboo for the frame, covered it with the felt, and meticulously sealed any gaps. Before I knew it, it was done.

Victory!

Next, I just had to put the stove inside the tent.

Dealing with fire and high heat meant I had to be careful not to let the tent’s felt fabric get too close to the stove. Safety first.

And, of course, I set up a chimney to let the smoke out...

“Done!!!”

Behold, my very own otherworldly tent sauna!!!

Here, I shall find my inner peace!

Okay, let’s go in! Time to plunge into this blazing space and relish the masochistic experience of enduring the heat!

Now, to strip down...!

But being completely naked is a bit too embarrassing, so I’ll keep my underwear on!

Just when I was about to finally dive in... I realized the fire had only been lit, and it was hardly warm yet.

I stood outside under the cold sky, clad only in my underwear, waiting for the stove to heat the tent.

It’s cold.

I was prepared to withstand the scorching hell, so why am I enduring this freezing torment instead?

But at last, the tent starts to warm up, and it’s time to charge in!!!

Hooo, it’s hot!

Way hotter than I expected!

It’s like those saunas I’ve experienced in facilities, where even the air you breathe feels burning hot!

Yes, this is it! This is it, this is it, this is it!

This intense heat is the true essence of a sauna experience!!!

Plus, in a public sauna, you always end up worrying about the strangers around you, right?

It gets awkward if you get too close. Or you find yourself caught in a strange competitive spirit, thinking, “I’ll definitely stay longer than this guy.”

But this tent sauna is just for me, so I don’t have to deal with any of those social nuances!!!

This is my private paradise!

A slightly too-hot paradise, though!

I can feel the sweat starting to seep out...

Have I been in here for ten minutes now? Fifteen?

I bet it hasn’t even been five minutes, though I’m thinking all this.

This otherworldly tent sauna lacks any device to measure time, which would really help in feeling a sense of accomplishment.

Maybe a sand timer would do?

I should try making one next time.

And so... to get a more accomplished and complete feeling, I want to stick it out for another three minutes.

But there’s only one way to time that.

And that’s by counting it myself. 

Here I go: one, two, three, four, five, seven, eleven, thirteen, seventeen...

Before I know it, I’m counting prime numbers.

Why?

Anyway, that’s enough! It feels like I’ve been here for 34 hours if you ask my body!!!

I burst out of the tent and into the cool outside air!

It’s winter!

This contrast of hot and cold is the real thrill of a sauna! That’s why saunas are perfect for this season!

But that’s not all! Why did I set up this tent sauna on the beach?

Now, the reason becomes clear!!!

Yes, the ocean!

A vast sea stretches out before me.

I head straight for it and splash in!

“Hyaaaah! It’s freezingggggg!!!”

A sauna isn’t complete without a cold plunge.

Jumping from the scorching sauna into the icy water bath, the more intense the contrast, the more refined the feeling!

The sea is the world’s biggest cold plunge!

Oh, the joy of achieving such balance with Mother Ocean!!!

The only problem is getting all sticky with salt water.

If I return to the sauna like this, I’ll be covered in salt.

But I don’t bother wiping myself off.

I just head back into the tent to warm up slowly.

It’s all good since this tent sauna is amidst nature. I won’t have to worry about getting dirty!

This sauna is way better than I expected!!!

“My Lord, how do you fare?”

Crap, I’ve been spotted.

Well, doing something this eccentric, it’s only natural to catch someone’s eye.

Usually, it would be Platy or Veil who come first, but the fact that they didn’t this time suggests a strong influence from something other than food.

“What are you doing cooped up here alone, My Lord...? Wow, it’s hot... What is this cloth house?”

It’s one of the orcs who works on the farm.

Not familiar with the concept of a tent, he refers to it as a “cloth house.”

“Hohoho... Impressive, isn’t it? This is one way to fully enjoy winter...!!!”

Orcs, with their bulky muscles, seem like they’d be perfect for the sauna.

And thus, a quiet sauna boom begins on the farm...!