#817 The Outbreak of a Great War

These days, I’m still not quite over the lethargy after Orkubo’s Castle ended.

Just as I was nursing the lingering desire to snuggle under a kotatsu, an emergency visitor barged in.

“Lord Saint! Lord Saint!!!”

“Please, save us!”

The visitors turned out to be Silver Wolf, an S-class adventurer, and Mamoru, one of the Heavenly Four of the Demon King’s Army.

Two envoys from opposing camps arriving together?

But since they are bound by the strong ties of the Selfless Workaholics unit, it’s not such an unusual pairing.

Still, knowing the kind of troubles they bring, it’s unlikely to be anything but chaotic.

And with two members of the Selfless Workaholics showing up, the foreboding feeling is doubled, maybe even quadrupled, with an added triple flip of urgency.

I really don’t want to hear it, knowing it’ll be a headache, but ignoring it will probably lead to an even bigger headache later. So, with a resigned sigh, I decided to listen.

All right.

What happened?

“WAR IS ABOUT TO BREAK OUT.”

Well, that’s one way to deliver terrible news. Straight and simple.

Why, though?

War is a disaster of near-apocalyptic proportions.

How could this be happening now? Wasn’t this world on a steady path to peace?

The war that had raged between humans and demons for centuries had just ended a few years ago. Weren’t we supposed to be racing down the path of reconciliation?

Even the Human Kingdom, once occupied by the Demon King’s forces, was on the verge of reclaiming its autonomy and becoming a republic.

And weren’t we also paving a robust stone path to peace with the merfolk in the deep sea?

Why am I receiving reports of a war breaking out now?!

“We desperately tried to stop it... but we were powerless...!” says Silver Wolf with evident frustration.

As both the guild master and an S-class adventurer, he’s one of the most powerful figures among the human race.

Yet even he can’t prevent this crisis from escalating?

What in the world could it be...?

“We thought no one but Lord Saint could help us now, so together with Lord Silver Wolf, we’ve come to seek your aid.”

Mamoru, be quiet.

I’m still healing from the emotional wounds you inflicted last time.

You conman tricking me with your strategic romance and marriage to your childhood sweetheart but pretending to be a slave to work. Don’t talk to me. Your happiness makes my guts boil with envy.

“Pleaseeeeeee! If nothing is done, both the Demon King’s Army and the Adventurers’ Guild face collapseeeeee!!!”

“We don’t want to take on any more burdensssssss! Lord Saint, we need your assistanceeeeeee!!!”

Okay, okay.

I get it, so stop clinging to me.

I harbor a pure resentment towards Mamoru, but I owe Silver Wolf for his past help.

Plus, I’d rather not get caught up in their shared troubles as Selfless Workaholics, so it’s best to nip such troubles in the bud.

“Yes! Thank goodness!”

“Now, please come with us at once! The spark of battle could ignite at any moment!”

Ehh, is it that urgent?

What in the world is about to happen? I’m trying to take preventative measures to avoid trouble, but at this point, I can’t help but feel I’m already deeply entangled in it.

***

Led by Mamoru and Silver Wolf, I left the farm, zapped through space with teleportation magic, and arrived to find...

Two familiar faces awaiting us.

Golden Bat, an S-class adventurer.

And Belphgamilia, a Heavenly One.

They’re locked in a tense standoff.

“Phew, it hasn’t started yet!”

“But the balance could be toppled any second! Once ignited, no one can stop it! A bloody battle will erupt!!!”

The Selfless Workaholics—Silver Wolf and Mamoru—alternated between relief and terror.

...Could it be that these two are about to wage war?

Golden Bat is among the elite of the human S-class adventurers, standing at the very top.

Meanwhile, Belphgamilia is the strongest of the Demon King’s Heavenly Four.

If these two powerhouses clashed, wouldn’t it be equivalent to war?

“Heyyyy, Golden Bat! ...Hey! Maybe it’s time to cool off, yeah? How about we head back to the guild and have some dried sweet potatoes?!”

“Lord Belphgamiliaaaa! Getting all worked up isn’t like you! Where’s that usual ‘too much hassle’ spirit? Now’s the time to say your signature line! Let’s not do this and go back for a nap insteaddd!”

Coincidentally, the top brass of the human and demon races have gathered, each with their own troublemakers and the poor souls they drag around. 

As they come together, the situation becomes even more chaotic... And there I was, randomly brought into the mix, utterly clueless and unable to grasp what was happening.

Frankly, I wish I could just turn around and go back home.

On the receiving end of the summons, the troublemakers respond...

“Silver Wolf, my blood boils with a heat that will never cool. A man must face certain battles that cannot be avoided, and for me, that time is now. I can’t leave the battlefield without defeating my enemies, and I have no desire to eat dried sweet potatoes because they’re disgusting.”

“What was that?! Dried sweet potatoes are delicious, you know!!!”

...and so the human side bickered.

“Sorry, Mamoru. Even I, who usually prioritizes convenience above all, find some tasks worth the extra effort. Also, I think I’ll pass on the dried sweet potatoes.”

“I didn’t even mention dried sweet potatoes! Please refrain from making such offensive remarks!”

The demon side was not having a peaceful time, either.

What exactly was about to happen here?

The frenzied efforts of the peacemakers, the Human-Demon Selfless Workaholics, were undoubtedly aimed at preventing a clash between those two.

On one hand, there’s Lord Belphgamilia, holding the authority of the demon army’s command, leading hundreds of thousands of soldiers, himself possessing combat abilities ranked among the world’s strongest.

On the other hand, there’s the S-class adventurer Golden Bat, who has taken human limits to task, nimble and witted enough to duel dragons and Lifeless Kings on his own.

Both are rightfully boasting as the finest in their respective fields.

Furthermore, Lord Belphgamilia, as the commanding officer of the Demon King’s Army... a symbolic figure for national defense, is a visage of military importance second only to the Demon King himself – a facade that cannot afford to be tarnished.

And Golden Bat, whose popularity is skyrocketing as a supreme S-class adventurer, a profession unique to the human race, is revered more than royalty itself.

If such individuals were to come to blows, it would naturally attract a great deal of attention. It could sow the seeds of bad blood, potentially escalating into interracial conflict.

What a troublesome situation!

Even if I’m not privy to the specifics, I could intuitively sense that much; hence, standing idly by wasn’t an option.

To realize this much... I suppose I’ve become quite a worldly-wise person myself...!

“Ah, um, well... no, no, no...!”

For now, I begin my intervention, posing as a mediator.

This is akin to bomb disposal.

A single misstep could lead to disaster. I have to proceed with the utmost care, following the correct steps to diffuse the danger.

That’s the nature of the task at hand.

Damn it, how did I go from cozying up at home to this high-stakes scenario?!

“The saint...?”

“Oh, If it isn’t the saint.”

Fortunately, they both noticed my presence and turned their attention to me, temporarily putting their hostility toward each other aside.

But these guys sure are informal, dropping the honorifics altogether. It stands out, especially after speaking with the more polite, Selfless Workaholics!

“Look, let’s all just get along, shall we? You both have your positions to think of, and you know you can’t just go around fighting willy-nilly, right? So please, just get along!”

“As much as I respect your request, I cannot comply. This guy is an enemy that must be defeated. I cannot allow him to see tomorrow’s sunrise while he’s still breathing.”

“That much?!”

I’m astonished by the level of hatred he harbors.

“I concur. On this, our sentiments align. This presumptuous bat-like creature speaks out of turn about human affairs. I’ll gladly shatter him into pieces and make him regret his arrogance.”

Even Lord Belphgamilia?!

I’ve never seen him so driven before!

Why have these two laidback individuals become so antagonistic towards each other?!

“The reason? That’s simple. This book of evil he authored has burst my patience to its limits... that’s all there is to it...!”

A book of evil?

And the book Lord Belphgamilia drew from his pocket was...

The “One Hundred Otherworldly Famous Mountains”?