#778 The Battle Between the Sea and the Mountain

Yup, it’s me again.  

The long joint wedding is over, and regular operations are back on from today.

Okayyy, everyone, switch gears.  

Party time’s overrrr. Shake off that light-headedness, and no more frolicking.

Now that Zoth Syra and Orkubo are married, it’s only natural that they would live together.

It’s a newlywed move-in, yup, yup.s

With Orkubo settling down, he has his own place, a house he built in a corner of the farm, which is a 7LLDDDK.  

...Isn’t that bigger than my mansion?  

Well, my house was the first one built on the farm, so there might have been some evolution...  

...Maybe I should expand or renovate mine?

Anyway.  

Zoth Syra now lives with him. They’re a couple, after all.

But since she’s still the active Mermaid Prime Minister, she has to “gh”o to work” at the Mermaid Palace almost every day.  

She uses teleportation magic for that.

It’s convenient, really, this teleportation magic.  

If it became widespread, the commuting problem would be instantly solved.  

...But then it’d also be easy to be called into work on days off, so maybe not.

Anyway, that’s how it is. Batemy commutes by teleportation from her in-law’s mansion in the Demon Capital (she married a noble, it seems), and Teacher Carp works full-time at the Farm School.

Just as I thought it was about time to return to some normality and wanted some usual business, a timely visitor with a request came.

***

“Help us, young Saint!!!”

“We need your help, desumasu!!!”

It’s Kralc Kent the Kraken and Desmask the Giant Crab from the deep sea.

I heard these two were fated rivals, so why are they visiting together so amicably?

“We’ve joined forces! We have a formidable foe we can’t defeat on our own!!!”  

“We want your help to fend it off, desumasu!!!”

They sure have become quite familiar, dropping by so casually...

Kraken and Desmask.  

Who could intimidate these two elder spirits of the sea?

It doesn’t bode well.

Who is this enemy?!

“It’s that horned boar from your place!!!”  

“Huh?”

An unexpected name that left me momentarily frozen.

Horned Boar.

Indeed, there are boar-like monsters roaming around my farm that we hunt.

They are, after all, a good source of protein.

The first meat I had when I started farming here was one of those horned boars. 

They look like boars with two horns, hence the nickname.

Their formal name is Square Boar or something.

But wait.

They’re just monsters that roam the mountains.

And in terms of strength, they’re only mid-tier.

They are quite fearsome when in a group, but...

For two elder spirits of the sea, they seem like opponents they could easily beat.  

Plus, why would sea creatures encounter mountain ones?!

“That’s not true! They’re incredibly formidable enemies, desumasu!!!”  

“It’s all because of you, young Saint! You created this situation! Take responsibility!!!”

Huh... me...?!

Is it just me, or is everything wrong in the world blamed on me lately?

I have absolutely no recollection of this!  

This is surely an unfounded claim, right?

“Brrrahahahaha... Sea creatures are surprisingly so narrow-minded... Not as deep-hearted as the deep sea, oink?”

What?!

Whose voice is that?! From where?!

Who is it?

...Over there?!

Standing atop a slightly elevated hill, a majestic four-legged figure is silhouetted by backlighting.  

I can’t see clearly!

What’s this setting?

“Huhaaaah!”

With a leap, it soars gracefully and finally lands right before us!

“Horned boar-slash-Square Boar?!”

“I’m always in your debt, Lord Saint, oink.”

Not at all! It’s actually me who’s indebted to you guys!!!

Especially when it comes to satisfying my stomach!

Every day, we go into the mountains and hunt creatures like you – draining the blood, skinning and breaking down the body, boiling and grilling and making sausages. 

And then enjoying a tasty meal!

You might see us as enemies for that, but why do you seem so friendly?!

And how come you’re talking?!

“We have been consumed by your kind so many times that our souls have evolved through countless cycles of reincarnation, accumulating virtue in the process, oink. That’s why our spiritual level has elevated, oink.”

“What am I, a prayer wheel or something?”

By repeatedly experiencing life and death, their souls evolved to the point of comprehending speech, like that?

The infinite cycle of life and death elevates the soul to higher dimensions?

Darn.

“Oh, I remember something similar happening before...!”

That time when the Kraken and Desmask suddenly appeared, causing a stir, and then a horned boar showed up and resolved everything...

What was it about again?

“...Oh right, it was about curry.”

“Yes, exactly! , desumasu!” , oink!” 

Don’t all answer at once, you land and sea delicacies.

Geez.

That reminds me, it was when I was making curry with my wife, Platy.

“We were debating the best meat for the ultimate curry, beef, pork, chicken, or maybe seafood, and there was quite the heated discussion...”

Right!

Kraken and Desmask suddenly appeared, too, offering their meat for me to use!!!

I thought they were out of their minds!

“We should have been the crowned ingredients for that curry!!!”

“But that fatso took the crown, desumasu!!!”

It’s not a fatso, it’s a wild boar.

Huh? That’s not the point here?

So the octopus-crab duo, having lost the great curry ingredient contest, is now plotting revenge against the boar? Do I understand things correctly?

But why contest with food ingredients?

Isn’t the law of nature straightforward?

Being eaten equals defeat, right?

“If Oink get eaten by someone like you, Lord Saint, our spiritual level rises, allowing us to reincarnate.”

“Don’t take reincarnation lightly.”

And why does it refer to himself as “Oink”?

“Please, young Saint! Prove that we taste better than that boar! Like the time you had octopus!!!”

“Crab is a more premium ingredient, desumasu!!!”

But pork is a great ingredient, too, you know?

It’s probably the most consumed meat on the planet.

There are even brands like black Iberian pork and Kagoshima-produced Berkshire pork.

But that highly-evolved creature over there isn’t a pig; it’s a boar.

What do they want from me, exactly?

I’ve got the gist of the story and their wishes, but I have no idea what I should do.

I’m stumped.

Do they see me as some sort of problem-solving existence like Dora**on?

But even if Dora**on comes up with a solution, it always gets messed up in the end, right?

That’s not the problem?

So, should I believe I’m like Dora**on without my own No**ta and start acting to improve the situation?

What should I do specifically?

In cases like this, taking sides in a conflict would only lead to more problems. It’s best to resolve things amicably.

Round edges are always better than sharp ones.

Take it as wisdom from someone who has made their way through life.

...Okay.

I’ve decided on a general approach.