#749 Joint Weddings

Zoth Syra.

Teacher Carp.

And then Batemy.

Each of them has their marriage arranged, so I want to congratulate them.

It’s a celebration, and I want to make it as flashy as possible. After all, I am the god of parties and festivals.

How should we best celebrate the many marriages?

We’ll group them all together.

Just as launching multiple fireworks at once would create a grand spectacle, grouping all these life-changing events together would make it even more dazzling.

“Which is why I think we should plan a joint wedding.”

“What a wonderful idea, Dear!!!”

The first one to embrace the idea was my wife, Platy.

She has a flashy personality, to begin with.

“After all, these three couples are somewhat late in getting married, so it’s not a bad idea to combine them to compensate for that! They’ll surely be moved to tears by your consideration, Dear!!!”

“What a rude way to describe their situation...!”

But having Platy generally agree with the idea is helpful.

The marriages of Zoth Syra and Teacher Carp were just recently arranged. 

Since then, we’ve been discussing how to handle the ceremony, what to do with life after marriage, etc.

The same kind of discussions will probably be necessary for Batemy. 

She intends to continue her work in dressmaking even after getting married.

“Honey tongueee, heart of galllll.”

Junior seems to agree too.

Marriage is a way of life, so it shouldn't be reduced to just a festive celebration. But that doesn't mean it can't have any festivity at all.

Let’s leave the serious discussions to those involved and, as outsiders, focus solely on irresponsibly hyping up the event!!

This calls for a carnival!!!

***

...So, a few days later, we tried conveying this idea to the parties involved.

“Why?!”

They were perplexed.

First, Zoth Syra’s opinion.

“A wedding ceremony is the stage of one’s life! Why do I have to conduct it with this woman?! Stop your nonsense!!!”

“It’s YOU who’s the ‘this woman’! Having my bitter relationship with you dragged into the wedding ceremony is a huge inconvenience!”

Then there’s Teacher Carp’s opinion, who bit back immediately.

Both have been tied together by a long history, a relationship within merfolk that might as well be referred to as a "connection like that of water and fish."

...Huh? No?

You think a “cat and dog relationship” is more appropriate?

But both dogs and cats are land creatures...

A sea dog and sea cat relationship?

“I object! I won’t let my life’s major event be tied to this woman!!!”

“I’ve got a great idea! If I kill you here, it will become my wedding ceremony ALONE! Die, so blemish from my bright stage is out of my sight!!!”

“That’s my line! You die firstttt!!!”

As always, they start fighting.

But I’ve calculated all this in advance.

Behold the secret weapon I’ve prepared to settle this dispute.

“All right, Batemy, they’re all yours.”

“What?! Why?!”

The participant in the joint wedding, Batemy, is in the same position as the rest, so I think her voice will reach these two sea brawlers.

“Go ahead, try to persuade them for their happiness and your own!”

“But our happiness is separate! Why do we need to lump it together?!”

Why? ...Because it seems more interesting that way?

“Hmph, fine, demoness! Let’s join forces and overthrow this thickheaded woman!”

“But why?!”

Batemy is confused by Zoth Syra’s declaration of cooperation.

“Huh? Isn’t this joint wedding basically a plot to team up and kill off the remaining one?”

“Who even organized this bloody event?!”

“Something like dyeing the pure white dress with splattered blood, right?”

“That’s so wrong!”

The purpose has already gone astray.

Is it just me, or are the women of this world too barbaric?

However, to complement my prejudice, Teacher Carp adds a comment.

“So, Batemy will team up with me to annihilate Zoth Syra?”

“Again, why would I do that?”

“If you refuse to cooperate with her, it’s only natural that you team up with me, right?”

Where did that logic come from?

“Besides, I’ve always thought I might get along well with you.”

“Why would you conclude that?!”

“When I was living on the farm, I heard rumors about you, Batemy. You used to be known as a Heavenly One’s Aide in the Demon King’s Army.”

“Huh? Well...”

The entire reason Batemy ended up at the farm in the first place was that she was part of the Demon King’s Army that attacked us.

Things were very chaotic back then.

Huh? Even now?

“As for your activities as a Heavenly One aide, you were also different from other assistants. You immediately respond with your fists to those you don’t like. Hence the nickname Demon Dog Batemy. Your spirit is exactly like mine, the Witch of Arts!!!”

It seems that for Teacher Carp, who believes in the simple and clear battle method of “increasing attack power and hitting physically,” Batemy was someone who aroused some kind of affinity.

“Those who try to fight indirectly with magic and such are weak! Come on, Batemy! Let’s smash the evil Zoth Syra as fellow speakers through fists!”

“No way!”

Batemy, with her natural good sense, refuses Teacher Carp’s proposal.

Yes, she is one of the few authentic voices of reason at the farm. Her adherence to the military regulations instilled during her soldier days, and the hardships she endured from her humble origins since childhood, have shaped her into a sensible individual.

“Hehehe... How pitiful. Your eyes are clouded. Rather, Batemy is on the same side as me.”

“Why would that be?!”

Batemy has become a device for echoing interjections since a while ago.

“Am I wrong? You’re from a plebian background, a woman who has nothing to do with the elite. You worked your way up from there, gave up the career you had finally established, and settled into being a clothesmaker. It’s very similar, just like me in my early days!”

Zoth Syra’s life story...

Once, she was a witch who rampaged around the mortal world until she was taken down by Queen Mahi, the world-destroyer at that time, and made her minion. 

After Mahi became queen, Zoth became a bureaucrat through her connections or, rather, coercion. After a few years, she eloped and left the government service.

・Born as a commoner...

・Disciplined by Mrs. Astres, who was a Heavenly One at that time and became an aide...

・Quit her position to become a dressmaker after Mrs. Astres became the Demon Queen...

...Don’t these traits sound similar?

“In other words, Batemy is another rebel like me! She’s not a goody-two-shoes who fawns over authority like you! The lines have been drawn! The situation is clear!” 

“No, I’m not that rebellious! I’m more of the type to grovel to authority!”

Unexpectedly, Batemy became a popular figure. 

Had there ever been such a scramble for her before?

However, it does nothing to quell the conflict.

If things keep going like this, the confusion will only deepen...

“Enough already!”

But then, the feared Demon Dog of the army, Batemy, barks out.

“If you’re going to keep fighting, I have a proposition too!”

“WHAT?!”

“I’m not making wedding dresses for you anymore!!!”

That’s right. Regardless of her past, Batemy is now a professional dressmaker. A top designer whose brand is renowned not only in the Demon Capital but worldwide.

Every time there’s a wedding related to the farm, she’s kept busy making wedding dresses.

Standing on the stage of life’s grandest moment in a dress made by her, a top designer, is undoubtedly a lady’s dream.

Would Zoth Syra and Teacher Carp be able to stand it if that dream were taken away from them...?

“WE’RE SO SORRYYYYY!!!”

They couldn’t stand it at all.

Batemy is strong.

In controlling “clothing,” one of the three basic needs of life – food, clothing, and shelter, Batemy was stronger than anyone could have imagined.

Thus, the plans for Batemy, Zoth Syra, and Teacher Carp’s joint weddings were settled.

...Or so it seemed.

Right after, an intruder appeared...

***

“Include me in that plan!!”

Bloody Mary, in her dragon form, barged in, demanding to be included.

Thus, a joint wedding involving four couples was held.