#636 Otherworldly Mountain Climbing

“This...!”

“T-This...?!”

“Is Mt. Eternity, meoooooooooooooooooow!!!”

“Whoooooooooooooooooooo!”

My companions are so hyper.

It’s me again.

How did things escalate to this?

“To be precise, we’re at Mt. Eternity’s trailhead! There’s a hidden waypoint halfway to the summit, so we were able to teleport here, meooooooooooooow!!!”

“How considerate of them!”

“But from here, you have to climb to the top by your own legssss! Don’t depend on civilization, don’t litter, and don’t harm the mountain’s natural resources as much as possible. That’s how we should treat the mountain, meoooooooooooow!!!”

“You’re absolutely right, Professor!!!”

The two people who have been in high spirits for some time now are Professor the Lifeless King & Golden Bat, the S-class adventurer.

They’re getting excited over a mountain.

“Don’t you understand?! I was able to climb Mt. Eternity—the mountain of my dreams—this fast! I’m so glad I consulted you, Saint! You’re incredible! As expected of the man said to rule the world from the shadows!”

No, I don’t do any ruling.

What’s with that conspiracy theory?

“Mt. Eternity, known as the most sacred mountain in the world! Its height exceeds that of Mt. Olinpus, which is said to lead to the heavens, and its base area rivals that of the Mountain of the Sacred White Maiden ruled by Alexander! And yet there are only a few recorded climbers, making it an unknown sanctuary along with the Saint’s trending farm!”

Nerds sure talk a lot.

Well, I can say with certainty that this Golden Bat...is a mountain nerd.

“By summiting Mt. Eternity, I can finally wrap up my preparations for compiling One Hundred Otherworldly Famous Mountains! Onwards! This may be a small step, but it’s a giant step for humanity!”

“This is like landing on the moon for the first time, meow!!!”

I can still understand Golden Bat’s excitement...

But how come the Professor is also in high spirits?

He’s as excited as a cat that scratched his owner’s arm because he got too excited while playing.

“What? It’s good manners to emanate the same excited energy as the person with you, meow.”

He’s being lively on purpose, it seems.

I was about to ignore them, but as we enter Mt. Eternity in earnest, this seemingly cat-like Lifeless King is indispensable to us.

As you can see, the Lifeless King Sage, who lives in the depths of Mt. Eternity, is extremely powerful even among Lifeless Kings, considered one of the Two World’s Greatest Calamities.

He’s supposedly an “Adeptus” who specializes in integrating with nature.

Even the overbearing Golden Bat was so afraid of the Lifeless King that he was on the verge of giving up climbing Mt. Eternity, so one can only imagine how terrifying he is.

Only a fellow Lifeless King could oppose such a Lifeless King, so the best course of action was to turn to the oldest of the immortal kings—the Professor—who has lived for 4,000 years.

Sensei, another equally dependable Lifeless King, is absent this time, prioritizing the preparation for his students’ graduation exams.

“Don’t worry. We Three Wise Kings are the best of friends. If I talk to him, he should at least permit a little tour, meow,” confidently says the Professor. 

This lax attitude ironically makes me uneasy sometimes.

“The last time the Sage and I saw each other was about a hundred years ago, and I thought it was about time I wanted to see him again... Huh? Maybe it was a thousand years ago, meow?”

I’m unfazed at how loose an immortal king’s sense of time is; it’s already the norm for them.

Golden Bat, who came up with the idea, and Professor the Lifeless King, our trump card for breaking through obstacles.

And for some reason, I’m also part of their hiking party.

“But why me too?!”

I’m not one bit interested in hiking, and I have no business at Mt. Eternity!

But somehow, I ended up climbing with them.

Honestly speaking, the combination of Golden Bat and the Professor was so disturbing that I wanted to keep a close watch on them. Besides this, I also had another particular reason why I felt compelled to join.

And that reason is this!

“Look, Junior, this is a mountain.”

“Where there is a mountain, there is climbing to do.”

Veil is entertaining my oldest son, Junior.

Junior and Veil.

Yes, these two are also part of the hiking party!

It all started when we were discussing the specific hiking itinerary, and Junior came up to us and said he wanted to come too.

Junior is a restrained and low-maintenance kid, so I was surprised at this sudden request and wanted to indulge his rare request.

So I had no choice but to go as well.

Platy is at home to look after our newborn second son Norito. I’m relieved that Veil, Junior’s strongest guardian, is here to ensure his safety.

“I swear, you humans like the weirdest things. Why would anyone be fond of climbing this remote place...”

Veil’s fair argument crushes the adventurous spirit in the air!

“What’s more, you’re walking because you don’t have wings to fly. Why are you voluntarily going through such meaningless hardship when there’s nothing particularly rewarding at your destination? Are you humans really that stupid?”

“Stop it, Veil! Don’t beat up an enthusiast’s way of life any more than this!”

“Oh well, I’ll go wherever Junior goes. Ah, I know; how about I revert to my dragon form and carry all of you to the summit? We’ll get there in a jiffy.”

Oh, that’s a good idea.

With a dragon’s wings, we could fly all the way to the top of the highest mountain in the world.

“Then we can have lunch at the top, take a souvenir pic, and go home.”

Not that we have a camera, though.

“Food! I want to eat.”

“Is that so, Junior? I brought some outdoor food, so let’s make hot sandwiches and eat them.”

We were in the mood for a picnic.

But then...

“Don’t you dare underestimate the mountainsssssssssssss!!!”

Golden Bat was livid.

“Young people these days only want shortcuts! How can you say you know the true nature of the mountains if you do that?! How can you say that you have conquered the mountain?! Hiking is a serious competition between mountain and man! Only when you climb the mountain fairly and squarely with your legs can you say that you have won the battle... Gwah!”

“Don’t snap at a child.”

“I’m sorry...!”

I was forced to swing my fist at him.

Come to think of it, he has the ability to fly but insists on hiking without relying on it.

He sure has strange preferences.

“Because there’s a mountain here.”

“Hm?”

“And because we’re here.”

“Hmm?”

I didn’t understand what Junior had just said, but oddly enough, his words resonated with Golden Bat the most.

“Ohh...! You’re right...!”

“Huh?”

“What a wonderful child! At this young age, he already knows what it means to climb mountains! I’ve met the heaven-sent child of the mountains!”

Stop it!

Don’t drag my child into a strange fate!

I want Junior to pursue more peaceful hobbies in the future!

“What are you doing? Let’s keep climbing. Any more dawdling, and it’ll be dusk before we know it, meow.”

A little higher up, we see Professor’s perked-up tail.

“That’s right! To face the night in the mountains is to face death! We must make haste and descend as quickly as possible!”

Golden Bat quickly switches back into mountaineering mode.

“Of course, I don’t think we can easily conquer the world’s most sacred mountain, Mt. Eternity, in a day or so. Conquest means reaching the summit!”

“‘Kay.”

“You can do a one-day or a two-days-one-night hike, but that would put you at risk of altitude sickness, which is not recommended, especially for beginners. Basically, it’s important to have enough time to acclimatize your body to the mountain air little by little!”

“‘Kay.”

“Normally, I’d set up camp in the mountains and spend a few days conquering the summit, but that’s impossible because of children today. Staying in a tent in the mountains is too harsh on a child’s body. I’m sure his mother would be worried if we don’t return within the day.”

“Do you just randomly become a sensible person when mountains are involved?”

“Let’s call this a day trip, sort of a scouting hike to climb as far as possible and get a feel for the mountain. We will not go to the summit, but we will still be able to select a route and get an idea of how tough the mountain is, which will give us an advantage when we continue the hike at a later date!”

“If you say so...”

“Don’t underestimate the mountains!”

With Golden Bat’s weird motivational speech, we proceeded to hike in earnest.

The most extraordinary mountain in the world—Mt. Eternity.

What in the world could be waiting for us at the summit?

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junior's lines were a reference to a quote from George Mallory, one of the first ppl to climb mt everest. (why did you climb mt everest? "because it's there.")