#628 The Mermen’s Chitchat

Shaaaashashashasha!!!

My name is Shark!

I am the general who leads the Mermaid Kingdom’s army!

My military prowess is of the highest caliber!

I wade through the seas as fast as an arrow, feared by enemies and allies alike, as I bare my fangs at them! They even sing my praises!!!

My sheer combat ability is not only demonstrated in wartime but in peacetime as well! I have buffaloed my opponents every year and always made it to the finals of the annual mermaids' festival—the Martial Swimming Competition.

Buffalo? No, I’m a shark!!!

There are several generals in the Mermaid Kingdom Army, but I am the only one who has always made it to the yearly finals!

Because of that, my valor roars throughout the Mermaid Kingdom Army!

My reputation has led to my promotion, and from Baron-shark, I became a Viscount-shark!

Eventually, I'm going to be an Earl-shark!

But!

Someone has shattered my confidence!

That is the Saint!

He's a lanky little human with no tailfin, but he made me suffer a thoroughly embarrassing defeat!

This was during the Martial Swimming Competition two years ago!

In the sea, where a mermaid would have an overwhelming advantage, I couldn't even get my hands or tail fin on him—a land-dweller—who is at a huge disadvantage underwater!

For a merman warrior, what could be more humiliating than this?!

Since that day, I have been training hard and abandoned my military duties to exact my revenge! I was even scolded for neglecting my duties!

And yet, the Saint didn't participate in last year's competition!

Not in this year’s, either!

For the past two years, I've usually made it to the finals and performed well, but I've always wanted more, so I've been feeling frustrated!

The world won’t grant my wish to take revenge on the Saint from the land!

That’s when the new king, Lord Arowana, suddenly announced a decree!

He said there’d be another martial arts tournament for mermen this year!

This sport called “soomo” is apparently all the craze on land! The men there would compete against each other! 

If it's a terrestrial competition, that means the Saint, who lives there, will also be competing!

If so, this is my chance to make up for my defeat!

When they screened the Martial Swimming Competition’s finalists, I immediately agreed without thinking twice!

And on the day of the tournament!

I heard the Saint will wrestle, too, just as I had suspected!

I was right on the mark! If I can skunk him on land, where he has the advantage, my revenge is complete!

Huh? Who’s a skunk? I’m a shark!!!

It's time to wash away two years of humiliation!　

That's what I thought when I stepped into the ring, but...!

* * *

“I couldn’t even do a single thing!”

That night, after the sumo tournament, I was in a bar in a backstreet of the Mermaid Kingdom, crying my eyes out, drinking in desperation!!!

“I was going to get my revenge on the Saint, but I got eliminated in the first round by some unknown guy! I’m in utter shark... I mean shock...!”

Let’s wash away the emotional scars of defeat with alcohol!

That Orkubo, or whatever my unknown sumo opponent’s name was, defeated me in milliseconds!

What an opponent... I'm supposed to be one of the most powerful men in the Mermaid Kingdom Army, but I couldn’t even get one solid hit in...!

To think I couldn’t go against him...!

“It can't be helped. Lord Orkubo is one of the two strongest guardians of Lord Saint’s abode,” says Hendra, the bastard drinking with me...

He’s not even affiliated with the military, but before I knew it, he was in a social position higher than mine.

He's a shusseuo who's moved up the ranks since King Arowana's new regime and went from an Oboko, a young striped mullet, to a Todo, an adult one!

“In contrast to Lord Gobukichi, who excels in speed and skill, Lord Orkubo's raw power and vigor are emperor-grade. In a limited space like the sumo ring, it’s impossible to parry him. Not even gods would be able to resist Lord Orkubo there.”

"You know a lot ‘bout ‘em, eh?”

As if you personally know ‘em...!

No wonder he’s King Arowana’s brains. Bet there are a buncha things only he knows. 

"That means he's stronger than the Saint, right?"

“No, I don't think so. Lord Orkubo is one of Lord Saint’s retainers. A servant cannot be superior to their master.”

The Saint is even stronger than Orkubo...?!

Well, his bout with the former Mermaid King Nagus, the Mermaid Kingdom’s legendary warrior, came out to be a draw...!

That land-dweller is starting to feel farther and farther from my reach...!

“I think it would be better for you to put aside your outrageous ideas about surpassing Lord Saint. Everything in heaven and earth is under that man’s rule. Just the act of challenging such a being is insolent in itself.” 

“He’s right, General Shark. How can we, who are no match for his servants, challenge the Saint, who’s at the summit? Let us praise the greatness of King Arowana, who is in league with such an awe-inspiring individual,” says Wild Betta like an enlightened man.

He was recently promoted from Imperial commanding officer to Mermaid General and is now in a position to lead an army. From my point of view, he's my equal.

He’s got the looks, knows the ropes, and I know he's a competent guy, but...

“You lost to one of that Saint’s men too, champ.”

“I don’t know why, but Miss Carp kept agitating me after the bout for some reason...” 

“Prime Minister Zoth Syra did the same thing to me, too, ya know.”

She bombarded me with questions like, “How does it feel to lose to Orkubo? How does it feel to know true strength? Feel hopeless yet?” 

"I finally made it to the Martial Swimming Competition finals this year, yet, I performed poorly in the sumo tournament...! I couldn’t boast the Betta family’s dignity!”

“You didn't even make it to the finals until this year! Hendra has been a regular in the finals for quite some time now, ya know?”

“Please don’t bring that up!”

By the way, Wild and Hendra are brothers.

Born into a military family, the older brother faithfully followed his relative’s example and enlisted. Meanwhile, the younger brother defied them, ran away, and remained out of power for a long time.

The younger brother is superior to the older brother in both status and ability, so it’s a pretty impressive story.

Well, for a self-made general like me, I find Hendra’s character development exhilarating.

“I know that...! I know my brother is more talented and luckier than me...! Hendra is King Arowana's confidant and is well on his way to becoming the Mermaid Admiral. He even has a beautiful wife and has a child with her! I don't even have a girlfriend yet...!”

"Brother! It’s okay! I'm sure you'll find the right person for you...!”

The alcohol has taken hold of General Wild’s rationality.

I love drinking while getting a laugh at someone’s expense!

“Hmph...Every single person here is an idiot...!”

Another person drinking at the table with us opens their mouth.

I don’t personally know him, but isn’t he the rebel Gurnard who received heavy punishment and was banished to the land?

“The people undersea have grown terribly weak while I was away. Ranting to each other about your loss here at the bar. How pathetic can you get?” 

"Says the guy who lost the bout without ever showing his stuff.”

“Ngh... It was the rules’ fault! The rules forbid the kicking techniques I spent decades perfecting. I wanna know why they even bothered calling me!”

"Your excuses are pretty pathetic, man.”

Well, it’s a shame we couldn’t witness the full power of the devilish Gurnard who once made his name as the only merman who ever dared to challenge the invincible King Nagus.

“I held this dinner party not for the losers to console one another. After all, I hosted this gathering."

“It was you?!”

The bastard... Hendra is one of the few who achieved satisfactory results in this tournament!

He eventually lost, but that’s because he was up against the Demon King!

If anything, he’s raising his reputation for losing to a king of another nation and letting him take all the credit!

“Under King Arowana’s new regime, our biggest project will be establishing friendly relations with other nations. This is the most striking difference from the old regime.”

“...We’ve been hearing about that for a long time now.”

“I think today's event contributed greatly to advance that agenda. I’m sure the trend of underestimating the land has been eradicated after witnessing the strong land-dwellers.”

That may be true, but...

“Don’t you think there’s a limit to shock therapy, Hendra? The land-dwellers kicked our butts too hard. That did more to instill fear than to dispel contempt and could lead to a loss of confidence in our race as a whole, don't you agree?"

I second Wild’s statement, ya know?

No matter how much I train now, I don't think I’ll ever beat Orkubo!

“No. This year's mermen weren’t accustomed to fighting on two legs on the ground yet. If they can overcome this by training, they will be able to fight. Merfolk have tenacious lower bodies from swimming in the ocean. It is not that we’re innately worse than land-dwellers in sumo.”

Just as King Arowana and Hendra, who had been on land multiple times, were able to perform well?

“And we hope this will lead to more merfolk becoming interested in the land. King Arowana has planned this tournament with that in mind.”

Seriously?

“General Shark and General Wild, I request you to spread the word and inspire as many mermen as possible. If they practice and become proficient at fighting on two legs, they will win next year.”

“We’re doing it again next year?!”

“Of course. And Lord Gurnard,” he turns to the ex-convict, who has returned to the sea after decades. “Since you’ve lived for a long time on land, I want you to teach as many mermen as you can how to use the legs you have cultivated. I would also like you to bridge the interaction between the land and us.”

“You want me to be a diplomat?”

“We need to purge the corruption of the old regime, and the Mermaid Kingdom is currently short on trustworthy helping hands. We can't afford to let a useful gentleman like you idle away. Especially now! I won’t let others go free now that I’ve given up my long career as a controversialist only to end up working in the palace!” 

“Were those your real feelings at the end?!”

Scary.

King Arowana went on a terrestrial pilgrimage, gathered knowledge, and is now beavering away at policy-making.

No, not beaver, shark!

As expected of Hendra, who understands the king's thoughts and supports him with all his might.

This is the policy of the Mermaid Kingdom under the new regime! If I don’t buck up and change my way of thinking, an old merman like me will be left behind! 

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i have another chapter that ive more or less finished tl-ing but its not polished enough to be uploaded yet! ;;

this chapter had a lot, and i mean A LOT of shark/sea critter puns... i tried my best to translate the humor by using animal verbs in those lines. im quite proud of them, if i do say so myself ;;

but as for the earl, viscount part, nobility ranks in Japanese all end with -shaku, so the most i could do was to attach the -shark.

oh and, shusseuo (lit promoted fish) is a term for fishes that have different names as they mature.