#622 Dohyo-iri Ceremony

And so it began. Organized by the Mermaid Kingdom...

The first-ever...

Pro Sumo Wrestling Festival!

On behalf of the organizers, Mermaid King Arowana gives the opening speech.

“My dear people of the Mermaid Kingdom and to the dignitaries from all over the world who have accepted our invitation...I thank you from the bottom of my heart for gathering here on this fine day.”

Oh, I have a feeling this will be a long one.

I sense a headmaster-like tone in Arowana’s language.

“The world will be deeply intertwined in the future where cultural barriers cease to exist. Our Mermaid Kingdom is no exception. We have been living deep under the sea and cutting off contact with the outside world, but this cannot go on any longer...A frog in the well knows nothing of the real world, but it knows the depth of the ocean!”

You live in the ocean, though.

“Today’s event was prepared as an opportunity for us merfolk to mingle with the outside world. The other day, the strongest mermen competed in the Martial Swimming Competition, but we cannot be content with that. If you truly want to be the best, you need the spirit to get out of the water and challenge those on land!” 

Arowana, who went on a terrestrial pilgrimage for about a year, said this line with conviction.

Merfolk in the audience was also aware of this fact and was speechless at the power of his words.

“As this tournament is only an experimental one, we did not open applications for the wrestlers. Only those who responded to our invitation from among the finalists of the recent Martial Swimming Competition are taking part in the event. Naturally, this year’s winner, Arowana, is also participating!”

As he announced that, the audience erupted in cheers.

It goes to show how popular young Mermaid King Arowana is among his people.

“We have also invited formidable fighters from both the demon and human races on land! Can the brave warriors of the Mermaid Kingdom hold their ground? To prove this, the last man standing will win this battle called sumo!”

Some of the mermaids floating on the water struck the sea’s surface with their tails and leaped.

They were all mermen.

Muscular and strong, it was evident at a glance that they were all tough fighters.

Are they the ones who performed marvelously in the recent Martial Swimming Competition and are participating in today’s tournament?

“My dependable and sturdy mermen! To compete in the Sumo Tournament, you must take the form of a land-dweller and transform your tail fins into two legs! Take the humanizing potion that has been provided to you!”

The mermen glugged down the bottles one after another as they were instructed.

Are all those potions to turn their tail fins into human legs? 

“Two feet standing firmly on the ground—a characteristic feature of land-dwellers! It is no exaggeration to say that sumo wrestling, in which these two legs are used to their fullest, is their most representative sport!”

Er, yes, it is an exaggeration.

Be that as it may, one after another, the potions take effect, and the mermen’s lower half is enveloped in light.

As expected of well-trained mermen, their transformed legs are supple and muscular.

But then, there’s also that dangling thing right smack in the middle of their crotch...

“Oh...?!”

Their lower half, which the potion had altered, is naturally not accompanied by anything to wear, so whatever is down there is, of course, out in the open!

Since there are many mermen participants, there are also plenty of dangling little things!

Loads of that one thing you should never EVER expose to the public, especially in broad daylighttttttt!

“It’s been a while since this happened...! Exposed mermaid stuff...!”

It was a thing of the distant past because Platy, Arowana, and the rest of our merfolk friends have been accustomed to land affairs and etiquette.

“Junior! Norito! Don’t look at that filthy thing!”

“No looking!!!”

Now, the mothers are keeping their sons away from this horrific sight.

Mrs. Astres also covers her eldest son Goetia’s eyes, face beet-red.

“...I’m so glad I made Lampeye and Halfmoon stay at home...!!!” mutters Hendra, one of the participants.

Only he, who had been on land several times, is neatly covered in a loincloth.

* * *

When you go on the ground, you have to cover your crotch.

I suppose that unspoken rule alone is enough to make this tournament significant for merfolk.

That aside, the rest of the sumo tournament proceeded without hiccups, despite the little trouble that happened.

The mermen’s exposed crotches were covered with a mawashi, an indispensable item for sumo, fitting the occasion.

Unlike sumo in my world, this one seems to be conducted in a tournament format.

The participants were selected after the Martial Swimming Competition, so a high level of competition is expected from the get-go.

“Shark coming throughhhh!”

Someone crazy suddenly steps into the ring during the first match. 

“How daring of the newly-crowned king to make me fight on landdddd! Does he have any cunning tricks up his sleeveeeeee?!”

Wait...

I think I’ve seen him somewhere before. But where?

“I joined the tournament because they told me I could rematch Princess Platy’s husband, who beat me beforeeee! It’d be an instant killjoy if I don’t advance to the finalssssss!!!”

Ah, I remember now.

Is that General Shark, whom I fought in the first round of the Martial Swimming Competition two years ago?

“Well, a land-based event is child’s play if you ask meeeeee! Until I reach Lady Platy’s husband or His Majesty Arowana, I won’t let anyone get in my wayyyyyyyyy! A mermaid general’s prowess will surely shake you land-dwellersssss!!!”

But immediately after the match began...

General Shark was blown away.

“Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

The hall fell silent as the general, who had made a name for himself as a powerful fighter, was floored.

Who was the one who accomplished such an outrageous feat? It was Orkubo, the orc who came with me.

He joined us at Zoth Syra’s request and immediately showed his strength.

“What’s with that land-dweller...?!”

“He’s not a person... A monster?”

“General Shark, a regular competitor in the finals of the Martial Swimming competition, was defeated in one hit...?! That’s absurd! Are land-dwellers that strong?!”

General Shark must have been recognized as a ferocious fighter through his active participation in the said sport.

But then, the audience is taken aback when a harite sends him flying. 

“You did it, Orkubooooooooooo! As expected of my recommended fighteeeeeeeer!”

Someone from the audience cheered from their seat.

It was Zoth Syra.

“Any fierce merman would be nothing more than fry if they were pit against youuuuu! Show me your strength to the fullest todayyyyyyy!”

Um, are you sure about openly showing your support for another race, Prime Minister? 

But for Zoth Syra, who is always swamped with political work, having her precious Orkubo play the role of a warrior is the best stress reliever.

For the sake of the Mermaid Kingdom’s future, should these proud grappler mermaids be sacrificed to Orkubo’s hits? 

Meanwhile, in another match...

“Wild, eldest son of the Betta family! This year, my brother Hendra and I made it to the finals and earned the right to compete in this tournament as wr-oobh!”

Who scooped up his opponent before he could finish his speech?

It was Gobukichi, another assassin from our farm!

That’s right— Orkubo and Gobukichi are participating in the sumo tournament!

Orcs and goblins, the pride of our farmhouse, are both in the ring!

The reason Gobukichi is here, like Orkubo, is a request from another lady.

“Kyaaa! You’re so gallant, Mr. Gobukichi!” 

The one who let out that shrilly cheer unbecoming of her age is Teacher Carp of Mermaid Witch Academia.

“Your quick and precise movements are this world’s ideals! Please show your magnificence to these feral mermen!”

Some of the students from the mermaid school started studying at the farm, and Carp was their chaperone.

But before I knew it, she fell for Gobukichi.

Mermaids sure fall in love quickly; you can never catch your breath with them.

“Huh? Midgets like that are your type, Carp? Even your taste in men is crap.”

“What was that, Zoth Syra? Gobukichi’s toned and lean body is the ideal of all living things. Unlike someone’s favorite fatso.”

“Who are you calling a fatso?! I’ll have you know that Orkubo...! Orkubo is a hunk of muscle! Now THAT’S the ultimate in efficiencyyyy!”

“Huge isn’t always efficient! That muscular daruma is good for nothing before Gobukichi’s agility!”  

“If that flimsy twat gets caught in Orkubo’s attacks, it’s the end of the world for him! Just like you, Carp, you’re a shallow mermaid who only understands short-term efficiency!”

“Then let’s see which of our biases will win this tournament! The truth will be revealed whether you like it or not! Of course, everything will be as I speculated!!!”

And now, we’ve got spectators arguing...?!

I wonder why mermaids are so passionate when it comes to love, but I guess the two people who are most affected here are none other than Orkubo and Gobukichi.

I just want both of them to enjoy wrestling at their own pace.

----------

id like to mention that the author deliberately made general shark use words that were homonymous with the word shark, which is 'sah-me' in Japanese. they got lost in translation, unfortunately, so this little footnote is to make up for that.