#555 Update from the Celestial Realm

After the festivities at Orkubo’s Castle came to an end, we returned to the farm.

Without any particular work to do in the winter, we were left with a lot of time on our hands. 

When I have free time, my mind tends to wander and suddenly remember things I have nearly forgotten.

So, I decided to take this opportunity to check something that I remembered at the back of my mind.

“If you would be so kind, Sensei.”

“Mhm.”

I asked Sensei to summon a god.

“Mocchara hogehoge.”

Sensei’s chant changes with every summoning he does, but I guess the chant itself doesn’t really matter.

And the god he summoned is...

Hermes, the celestial god of wisdom.

“Oh? It hast been a while.”

Indeed, it’s been forever since the last time we saw Hermes. 

I think it’s been almost a year since.  

“Long time no see, Hermes. Please accept this fried horse mackerel as an offering.”

“Huh? What? This sudden politeness is somewhat throwing me off...”

True.

During past summons, he was treated rather carelessly, with Horkosfon firing her mana cannon at him.

It’s no wonder he’d be on guard if we suddenly acted hospitable toward him.

I find that a bit sad, though.

“We summoned you today at our convenience, so it’s only natural to give you a warm welcome.”

“I vaguely recall being summoned for the same reason in our previous meetings, but during those times, I wast assaulted!”

Really?

“No matter. The food thee make is delicious, so if you want me to eat it, I shalt! ...Mm, valorous! So? What is it that thee ask of me?”

What a moody god.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten formalities out of the way, let’s get to the business at hand.

“You said something about a war of the gods before.”

“War? I uttered nay such thing.”

“Yes, you did!!!”

The gods in the celestial realm are ruled by Zeus, who is imprisoned for thousands of years for something he did.

...Wait, was it tens of thousands of years? Hundreds of millions of years? Eternity?

Eh, something along those lines.

Anyway, one of his sons, Apollo, is acting as his substitute.

That same god made a pact with the chief gods of the sea and earth to rule the world in harmony.

However, a few celestial deities were against this, and so a great war broke out, dividing the forces in two!

“Those were the details I remember you telling us last year.”

“Hmm, most intriguing. I think that was right after winter, so almost a year ago?”

The god of wisdom, full from eating mackerels, savors their tail.

“It’s a big deal that could shake the whole world, so we were curious for an update.”

That being said, I forgot all about it until today. 

“Ah, I see, that.”

“It’s been a year since then, so it must be over, right? Besides, you said you had an overwhelming advantage in terms of strength, so it’d be great if you won.”

For the sake of the world, too, of course.

“I have no clue.”

“Huh?”

“It hast not even started yet.”

“Whaaaa?”

What do you mean it hasn’t started yet?

It’s been almost a year, right?

What were you gods up to?  

“Thou must not think our concept of time is the same. To us, a second, a day, a year, a decade, or a hundred years make nary a difference.”

“Y-You make a good point...”

It’s a world that we humans can only imagine.

“That is wherefore most deities spend their time in idleness. Slack off, and a hundred years will pass by in a flash. As with this case...”

• Okay, this calls for a war!

• Prepare for war!

• I think we art done calling out to people. Stage one is done.

• All right, let us take a break here.

“...And just like that, a year hath passed.”

“Uh...”

These gods are awfully lazy.

Even NEETs who call it a day after writing resume after resume when job-hunting don’t hold a candle to them.

“That is how much our senses differ. Thee mortals art just too restless for us. Where doth thee plan to go in a matter of fifty years?”

Isn’t it because we humans are given a life of fifty years that we aren’t exempted from perishing?*

Ugh. It’s useless. If I adjust my senses to that of a god, I lose mine.

If we humans adapt their logic, we’ll end up wasting our fleeting life, so we might want to rethink how we interact with them.

“Perhaps we’ll stop summoning you.”

“What? Wherefore?! Don’t! The other gods cannot descend to the land of the mortals unless they agree to the pact and art summoned. If they doth not get summoned because of mine own actions, they will see me in a bad light!”

Hades, the god of the underworld, and Poseidon, the god of the sea, are often summoned by Sensei to our farm because they want to feast on our cuisine.

It’s nice to know that my food is well received, even among the gods.

“Now, now. There is nothing for thee to worry about, saint. A year hast indeed passed since then. But think about it from a different lens. That means the situation remains the same.”

“Meaning...?” 

“Hera, Zeus’ wife, heads the faction that opposes the Three Realm Pact, but they art weak in terms of strength. To be honest, they art not strong enough to challenge the party led by mine own brother Apollo.”

The current situation in the celestial realm is that the deities are divided into two groups: those for the treaty, which seeks to govern the world through cooperation between the gods of heaven, earth, and sea, and those against it.

The pro-faction has common sense and believes peace is good and that getting along well with each other is best.

The sun god Apollo leads this faction, followed by Hermes, the god of wisdom, who is in front of us now, and Velesares, the god of war.

“Our opponents are Hera, the Celestial Mother Goddess, Athena, the goddess of victory, and Artemis, the moon goddess. They all has’t different motives for fighting.”

“Is that so?”

“Hera’s ultimate goal wouldst be to free our clotpole of a father from imprisonment. Athena is simply doing it out of pride. She always wants to come out on top. She refuses to make peace unless she can first destroy the entire earth and sea and make those folk submit to her.”

“What troublesome deities...”

“Evil, troublesome deities,” responds Hermes flatly.

Is it just me, or are most of the celestial gods evil?

“Finally, Artemis, the moon goddess, opposes everything her brother Apollo does. If Apollo says right, she says left. If Apollo says aye, she says nay. She’s sided with the opposition because her brother is the leader of the other party.”

“That’s just a hassle!!!”

“All younger sisters are tsunderes, huh?”

I don’t know if I can call that a tsundere or not. I feel like it’s a huge offense to all the younger sisters in the world.

“Artemis is like that, but she is sensible. I just know she will side with us in the end. So, the only real adversaries art Hera and Athena. Their biggest mistake is...” smugly says Hermes.

Since he’s the god of wisdom and a secret agent of the gods, does he enjoy this tactical discussion?

“...is the fact that all the demigods who were once born on earth and art now welcomed into the celestial realm has’t unanimously turned to our side. Many demigods and pureblood gods wield equal power, such as Heracles, the renowned hero-god, and Asclepius, the hand of god. I would say this has hath brought about an overwhelming imbalance in power.”

“Uh-huh?”

I start paying a little more attention.

“If the earth and sea deities were to enter the fray, the opposing party would never stand a chance, so the war cameth to a standstill. And just like that, a year hast hath passed as we idled our time away.”

To me, the only reason they were dawdling was caused by their own lazy selves...

“The ideal situation would be for the opposition to come to their senses at this hopeless gap in strength and raise the white flag. Alas, that will take time, so thee will has’t to wait a little longer... Let’s see, another two hundred years or so?”

“Exactly how much is ‘a little’ for you gods?!”

It’s just too different from the way we humans perceive it!

I realized that there was no point in taking this seriously anymore and dropped the conversation.

Let gods fight as they please, and mortals prosper in peace.

“...More fried mackerels?”

“Aye, prithee! And I shall have some hot rice on the side. On second thought, was it not cruel of thee to has’t served fried mackerels only?!”

“Oh, out of curiosity, which side is Hephaestus on?”

I decided to ask about the god I was closest with.

Hephaestus is the god who gave me the gift. And he, too, is a celestial god.

I hope he’s not on the losing side, at least.

“Hephaestus hast been neutral from the beginning.”

“Ohh...”

“How couldst that god be interested in aught other than making things? There could be a war going on or the world meeting its demise, but he will remain cooped up in his atelier, working on his crafts. Thee might find it surprising as someone indebted to Hephaestus, but that gent is a celestial deity in his own way—he cares about naught but making things.”

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*this line is a reference to Atsumori's (a noh play) famous verse associated with Oda Nobunaga. it goes like this:

50 years in the human world is like a dream and illusion in the world of geten (Buddhic world).

Nothing born in this world can escape from perishing.

It is regrettable not to take this as a beginning of our awareness.

it was a challenge to translate, but i tried my best. sorry if you still find it confusing ;;