#464 Otherworldly Diet

"Huhuhu... No...”

The Demon King is wailing.

It seems the rejection from his beloved horse was quite a shock.

I sympathize with the horse’s feelings, though.

But it seems just crying is enough for the Demon King’s body temp to rise, causing him to perspire.

Any horse would have wanted to refuse a jumbo like him to get on their back, and his stallion looked quite the prideful creature.

...Now.

We cannot leave the Demon King in despair like this.

It’s like the fat has taken over his brain, too, with how mentally weak he is right now.

He’s still wailing.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

“Please dry your tears,” I say like a god offering a helping hand to the hero. “I will help you regain your former physique.”

"R-Really, Lord Saint...?!”

“In my world, there’s a secret for losing weight. It's called...dieting!”

“D-Die?!”

...

His brain just omitted the -ting part on its own.

“Dieting is the ultimate self-cultivation to reach your ideal weight. Be willing to put in the effort to become your ideal self...!"

I don't think they have a similar concept here.

Their cultural level is so medieval that it’s impossible to prepare enough food for oneself, so people are encouraged to store up nutrition whenever possible. In this sense, the fatter you are, the more “advantage” you have.

Apparently, being so-called obese was even considered beautiful in the past.

On the other hand, a demon king who wants to lose weight because he has problems staying fat is probably a rare case in this world.

“Various schools sprang up seeking effective diets, and a hundred families fought and competed with each other. I will teach you their secrets, Demon King—all for the sake of peace in this world... and your belly.”

It’s time we join hands to reclaim your six-pack from the millennial slab of fat...!

“Oh, Lord Saint! Thank you... Thank you!”

Thus begins the otherworldly diet lifestyle of the Demon King and me.

“I had no idea you’re also well-versed in such things! There’s actually a proper method to losing weight, you say! Is that how you've maintained your figure even after being blessed with a child?”

“Well, I till the fields every day.”

There is no better way to stay in shape than exercising.

After all, if you keep your body moving, the fat will burn off by itself.

Or it could simply be that your metabolism slows down as you age...

The thought scares me.

“Some people are inevitably limited in physical activity due to their jobs. They are so consumed with hard work at their desks that they don't have time to get up and do stretches. In turn, their metabolism slows down. So, the more they eat, the more fat their body accumulates...”

“Yes, yes! That's right!”

“Dieting exists to help such people. Its purpose is to maximize the effect with less effort and time to make your life more efficient. It’s not necessarily for the weak-willed.”

“Ohh!”

Since ancient times, various diets have been developed to lose weight.

What kind of diet should I recommend to the Demon King among them?

“Let’s try a carbohydrate-restricted diet first.”

“C-Carbohighdrait restricted diet?”

“The biggest cause of obesity is eating. Because the influx and outflux of energy are unbalanced, excess energy is stored as fat in the body, and obesity happens.”

One might think, “Okay, we just have to stop eating,” but animals supply energy to their bodies by doing so. If they don't eat, they will die. The stress their instincts produce when they don't consume food is relatively considerable.

Limited food intake should not be done haphazardly but rather should be done in a calculated manner.

“The carbohydrate-restricted diet is the culmination of such calculation. By abstaining from eating carbohydrates, the biggest cause of obesity, we prevent further weight gain!”

And then pairing it with some exercises.

Dieting alone won’t help you, after all.

“Oh, is this carbohighdrait thing poisonous?”

“Not really, but I request you not to eat foods containing many carbohydrates.”

At least while he’s on a diet.

“Foods such as...?!”

“The staples. Rice, barely... Bread and noodles made from wheat, too.”

And it was at this time that Veil arrived, face ghastly pale.

She was holding a bowl of steaming hot ramen in her hand.

"Master...is what you just said true?”

“Huh?"

“Wheat is not poison! I refuse to believe that! Bread, udon, pasta, and ramen too! It’s the ultimate ingredient!" she says, clinging to me.

...

I shouldn't have let her hear that.

“Wheat makes everyone happy! You can't just limit our intake on it!”

Seriously, where is that desperation coming from?

Veil has been a gluten freak for some time now, and her love for wheat-based foods has escalated at a bothersome rate.

I guess it’s only natural she’d feel upset over this conversation, but still...

“No, but I'm just saying you shouldn’t eat too much of it...”

“Is this your doing?!”

Veil’s harsh gaze turns to the Demon King.

Even he is taken aback by her intense love for wheat.

“I’ll make him lose weight then!”

Veil suddenly joins the diet group, but not as someone who wants to work out.

“You humans get lighter by moving your body around more and eating less, right? Then move around like crazy! And don't eat anything! After that, you can eat all the wheat you want!”

There it is, her absurd reasoning!

This is a surefire way to fail to diet, and besides, nothing done in extremity lasts forever.

Consistency is the key to a successful diet!

"All right! First, let’s do some light exercise! Let's goooo!”

Before she could finish, she transformed into her dragon form.

Don’t tell me...

“I'll be your diet partner! Come at me! You're going to die if you don't take this seriously, so it's going to be a good workout for you!’

“Hold it right there!!!”

Going head-to-head with a dragon is life or death before you can lose weight.

Don't impose such harsh conditions on the poor guy’s diet!

“It’ll be fine, Master! I heard that even Platy’s brother fought Ardheg and a wingless bird woman and still came out alive!”

Platy’s brother?

Oh, you mean Arowana.

And then she must be referring to Ardheg the dragon and Songokufon the angel.

“But that was just for show... right?”

“Think of this as practice for dieting! Oh, yeah, hey, bird woman!!!”

As if in response to Veil’s call, a winged maiden appears from the air and then lands.

It’s angel Horkosfon!

"You called, Veil? I'm busy with my natto, so please make it quick.”

“I have the perfect idea! Platy’s brother was fighting a dragon and an angel, so this guy should be able to do the same! After all, he’s the ruler of his race!”

You think he can handle the same experience Arowana had?!

No way!

How did Arowana even survive in the first place?!

“If it’s for the sake of Master’s comrade, then I shall gladly comply. I, Angel Horkosfon, will go into massacre mode wholeheartedly.”

“Gahahaha! I’m sure this fierce battle of ours will make a great workout! We're going to work him hard until he's under half the weight he is now!”

Er, I think that much weight loss might be too much...

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

The obese Demon King disappears into the blinding light emitted by the dragon and angel.

This series of events gave birth to the otherworldly dragon-angel fierce battle diet.

And as expected, its intensity is on a whole new level.

----------

dieting-die convo p.s.: the raw was a pun on diet (written in katakana). since the concept is unknown to zedan, author made him say "大悦闘," an ateji (phonetic-equivalent character) that has no definitive meaning in the source language. it was challenging for me to carry this pun over to english, so i used a different approach. if anyone has wittier suggestions, i am all ears. ^^;