Suddenly A Succubus Ch. 52 - Reflection

Holy fucking shit, you guys. Book Four is done.

With Book Four now completed, I'm officially a third of the way through Suddenly A Succubus. Act One was always intended to be the first four books of the series, and I couldn't be happier with how it all came together.

This is obviously going to be a pretty long Reflection, so let's buckle up, grab some water, and fucking go for it.

First and foremost, I can finally talk about how difficult it was to pin down the exact structure of this book. As you all know, every book in this series is going to be 13 chapters long. Early on, when there were fewer protagonists and events, everything was really easy to outline. Honestly, I sometimes had the problem of looking at a hole in my outline and thinking "I need something to happen here."

That never happened with Book Four, because there's simply SO much going on.

Another thing I've been open about in the past is that I love using Chapter Seven, the midpoint of the book, to shake up the story. This doesn't always work (Book Three didn't do this, Book Five likely won't either) but I really like the way it shapes the story.

Here, it marks a really clean separation of tone between the two halves of the story. I always knew Chapter 46 was going to be the triumphant return of Chloé, and that she would bring with her news about the coven's true intentions. This means that the first half of the book can be a little aimless, where Amara is trying to deal with losing Chloé and life is on the verge of returning to normal. The coven, as far as we know, is just gonna close the Gate and everything is gonna go back to normal, even if they're being dicks about it.

Then, once we learn about their intentions, the second half of the book can be more tense. There's an actual threat now, and it's time to knuckle down and take down the coven. Sadly, Amara throws a bit of a wrench into everything. She has her villain arc this book, and very nearly smashes through the point of no return.

Pulling off her villain arc took some creative thinking, however. I needed to seed early on that Amara's rage was looking for an outlet, and I needed to make it obvious that she really wanted that outlet to be the coven.

However, let's crunch some numbers real quick.

Chloé comes back in Chapter Seven, which means the gang doesn't learn about the coven's plans until Chapter Eight. Now, I already knew that Chapter 13 (52) was going to be a victory lap. A final wrap up of all the problems before Amara and Vee finally make love for the first time, and then everyone enjoys Christmas together.

In the span of five chapters, I needed to:

• Give Amara her villain arc. She attacks the coven, her friends, gets closer and closer before Vee manages to pull her back.

• Have Amara apologizes to everyone, including the good coven members.

• End the conflict with one massive fight where all the girls get a moment to shine.

That's A LOT of plot. It took a huge amount of creative thinking to pull everything together, and to figure out exactly where everyone was throughout the chapters.

In the end, I'm extraordinarily happy with how it turned out. The second half of this book really felt like the culmination of everything we've seen the last four books. First and foremost, Amara's slow transformation from shy human girl to rage-filled demonic terror. Her rage has been growing every since Book One, but nearly killing Vee tempered her for a while. That being said, I fully believe the narrative of the series doesn't work without Amara's anger and self-righteousness truly coming front and center, because only then can she learn the important lessons she needs to.

One thing I tried to put front and center, however, is that Amara presumed herself Damned. She thought herself a lost soul, and assumed that her actions no longer mattered, so she might as well give in to her worst desires. For all the good Evelyn tried to do, the unfortunate side effect of her explaining Damnation to Amara nearly had disastrous consequences.

So, for Amara's sake, I need to end this book with the big reveal that Amara's soul is still mortal. On a broader scale, this sets the stakes for the series as a whole: If Amara dies a mortal, she very well might ascend to Heaven as a Demon, which is huge. Presumably, there are a lot of people that might not want that to happen, which means lots of juicy drama for future stories.

Of course, there was another reason things needed to work out this way.

Vee.

It was always Vee.

Yes, Amara is the main character. Yes, exploring her anger issues is important to the narrative, but Vee is the second-most important character in this series. Her journey has been about overcoming Church propaganda, learning to think for herself and question everything she's been taught so she can make her own decisions about what is right and wrong.

This path leads to her falling in love with Amara.

In my original series outline, I didn't have them get together until Book Five. Book Three was to show them becoming friends again, Book Four was to show Vee slowly coming to terms with her feelings, and then Book Five finally saw those feelings reciprocated. The timing of that outline conflicted with the reveal about Amara's soul, sadly.

See, in order for Vee's emotional journey to matter, she couldn't know that Amara had a mortal soul. If she does, then her feelings are cheapened. "Oh, it's okay to love Amara, she's different. All the other demons are still bad, the Church is still right, they just happened to be wrong about this one little thing because it's a new problem we've never seen before." Therefore, if I end Book Four with the reveal of Amara's mortal soul, how do I reconcile these two things?

I initially thought I might have Amara keep her mortality a secret, but I didn't like that. I hate forcing drama by having characters keep secrets from each other.

The answer finally came when I found the perfect way to combine the reveal of their true feelings and the resolution to Amara's villain arc. That's how Chapter 49 happened, and in my opinion, that's one of the reasons it felt so powerful. Vee accepts that she loves Amara, even though she's a demon and is likely Damned. Amara admits she has feelings for Vee, and chooses love over hate, even though she thinks herself a lost cause.

Then, when I reveal Amara's mortality through Evelyn at the end of Chapter 52, it doesn't accidentally mess up any character development.

That's not to say Amara's mortality has NO downsides. See, I want this story to wrestle with certain themes, and from a certain point of view, Amara being mortal weakens some of thse themes I want to explore.

If Amara's mortal, isn't it less impactful when she chooses to be good?

We now have a real, tangible answer to "Why is Amara different?" and that's not always a good thing. If Amara were Damned, and she's different because she was raised on Earth with a kind mother, then it's easier to make the argument that Damnation is a stupid idea and the system itself is flawed.

I've seen shades of this argument come up in past comments, and I'm curious if anyone will share those thoughts once this reveal goes live to all the free sites.

Now, to be clear, I'm aware of these problems. Every narrative choice has pros and cons, and I wouldn't make this choice if I didn't think it was worth making. If you're someone that feels conflicted about the reveal of Amara's mortality, I offer the following statement: the story isn't done yet. I care deeply about the themes of the story, and I'm doing everything I can to not sabotage my ideas with shoddy worldbuilding. Remember, we're only just finishing Act One, and there are nine more books for the ideas and themes of the series to evolve and change.

Most importantly, there's already one counterpoint to that argument: Evelyn. She's not only Damned, but she's Lilith's firstborn. She was able to pull together a peaceful life for herself and escape the cycle of violence, but hopefully following her around in Daughter of Damnation showed why that's not something we see very often (or at all.)

I'm so happy I got to write DoD when I did. Yes, it was an incredibly fortuitous happenstance that the two books ended back-to-back, but it's more than that. Since I always knew Evelyn was going to come back in SaS 52, I thought it would be really fun to give you all a really interesting meta-narrative to follow. In the future, whenever people are reading these books, they're just going to read SaS first and maybe decide to check out DoD later. However, for all of you following both, you got a really cool narrative.

We meet Evelyn in the first two chapters of Book Four, and that gives us our big reveal: she's a demon. We learn a bunch of big stuff about the world, but she also makes it clear that there's stuff she can't tell Amara yet. Why? Am I just being stingy with the details for no good reason other than making drama?

There's a version of this story where Amara's assumption that she's Damned feels cheap, because it feels stupid that Evelyn didn't just tell Amara everything. I was able to avoid this happening with a few different factors. One, Evelyn is incredibly weak, and simply can't right now. Two, there are supposedly other, big forces at play, and she needs to be careful about what she tells Amara.

(The other big benefit is that so little time elapses between her leaving and coming back again. It's only about six days, and I think it's more than fair for her to assume that Amara wouldn't be thrown into a Damnation spiral and nearly murder someone in such a short amount of time.)

So, for all you lovely readers enjoying SaS as it releases, Evelyn's departure leaves some big questions. How was Amara born? Why is Evelyn so weak? How is she living such a quiet life on Earth? What bigger forces are at play that are preventing her from telling Amara everything?

With all those questions in mind, BAM. Daughter of Damnation. We get the answers to all those questions and more. We see her journey from horrible demon to decent person, we see how hard she fights to give herself a normal life on Earth, and we see that she's more or less starving herself to make sure she doesn't cave to her more aggressive instincts. Oh, and those bigger forces at play? She's helping a literal Archangel who was cast out of Heaven. I never say this directly, but I think it's a safe assumption that if Evelyn talks about Zadkiel out in the open (i.e. outside of The Wilds) there's a risk Heaven might somehow overhear.

Then, once we get all those questions answered, Evelyn comes back into the story. She's strong enough to give us the core, burning question that's been hanging over the story ever since it started: why is Amara different? She seems uniquely capable of resisting Enochian, she broke out of Wellington's perfect trap, and the people she's feeding on don't experience any ill effects.

Obviously I already shared my thoughts on this specific revelation above, but I'm excited how this book ends by showing off the new status quo. I always wanted, more than anything else, to get the series to a point where we can jump off into all sorts of exciting adventures, and now we're there. Amara and Vee are together, Chloé is back, Tessa finally stood up to her abusers, and the Planar Gate is still down. Yes, this is a big win, but there's so much more to go. Characters still have things to explore, the world's problems haven't been solved, and we still have nine more book to dig into everything.

I've always tried really hard to have each book lead into the next one. Book One had an obvious cliffhanger with the Halloween fight, and we still had the mystery of all the circles hanging over our heads. In Book Two, I had commenters asking how I could possible continue the story now that I've resolved the cult plot, and again, I think I did that pretty well. They disrupted the Gate, and now the campus lies exposed to all the other planes. Book Three is a big planar threat, and ends with the horrible cliffhanger of losing Chloé. Then, Book Four gives us a possible bandage, and shows off a big strength of our heroes: they refuse to take half-measures. This is something I'm really proud of, I think it speaks to their characters. Yes, the campus would be a little safer than it could be if they let the coven install their siphons, but they refuse to settle for that. I want this series to feel optimistic, to have it fight for the best possible future and inspire hope in people, and this is part of that.

The group refuses the Faustian bargain of the coven. Vee refuses to give up on Amara, even though she has no reason to believe Amara isn't Damned. Chloé refused to surrender to the Void. Tessa shook off the chains of her trauma and finally stood up to her abusers. At its core, this is a hopeful story, and not just because it has a happy ending. It's because the characters always strive for better, regardless of if the world tells them they should roll over.

Anyways.

That's a lot of talking about the overall series, so how about we take a step closer and actually look at this chapter.

The opening scene was an interesting one. There obviously needs to be a scene where we wrap up all the loose threads of the main threat, but my initial outline gave some wiggle room for where it went. If the fight against the Coven had been much shorter, I might have ended 51 with the resolution of all the Coven nonsense. However, I'm glad I didn't. I think 51 ending with the triumphant victory of our team (and their superhero poses) was the right call.

Resolving the Coven plot line, however, necessitated a lot of nitpicking. I needed Cassandra and Simone to get their comeuppance, for one thing. Yes, they lost the fight, but I need to show that they're being permanently removed from power. This happens both by magically disrupting their tattoos and by confirming that Bishop will call a meeting of all the covens to determine the ultimate fate of the both of them. I don't go into too many details here, and I'm happy with that. I like that they get to keep existing in the world, but more importantly, it gives Bishop more to deal with as Coven Headmistress.

We also get to see Amara, Vee, and Palesa clean up the quad. Again. This is really important for Amara's emotional journey, obviously, but it gave me a chance to really drive home a point I haven't been able to make before. Amara is still really young.

I wanted her interactions with the coven post-villain arc to reinforce that. I wanted Palesa and Elizabeth to show their experience, to feel like level-headed adults who have seen crazy situations before, and that they want to coach Amara about how to handle this nonsense. Now, admittedly, I kinda just say this outright, and I think I could have integrated it better than I did.

Initially, Amara assumed Miss Tsopnang was simply passing time with small talk, but as the hours stretched on, she began to suspect it was actually a curated learning experience. Each story she shared, each hardship she described, served as a powerful reminder of how quick Amara had been to judge the coven as a whole. Perhaps, in Miss Tsopnang’s own subtle way, she was trying to coach Amara to be better.

In those moments, Amara began to internalize just how young she was in the grand scheme of things.

Yes, this is telling, not showing. However, at the end of the day, this chapter is already 19 thousand words long, and I'm fine cutting this particular corner. Besides, we're in montage mode anyways, so I think it fits.

When everyone returns to the Coven manor, it's time to solve another big problem. Hilariously, it's both an in-universe and out-of-universe problem.

See, I've made it clear that covens exists to keep an eye on magical nonsense. I also made it clear in this book why Tessa was hesitant to call her coven for help when all the nonsense started, but now the coven is in Bishop's hands, and we like Bishop. I needed to shape the story in such a way where it still made sense for Amara and friends to continue watching over the campus, rather than simply turning it over to a gang of witches.

This is why we spend so much time hashing out details in Bishop's office. I needed to show the myriad different problems that exist with the coven, and make it clear they simply don't have the resources to properly handle the Planar Gate being open. I do this in a few ways.

One, I make it clear that Cassandra was the linchpin of the "Close the Gate" plan. She was the expert on portals, after all, and without her knowledge the coven simply doesn't know how to close the Gate. Not only does this maintain the status quo, but I also think it helps establish just how terrible Davenport is. Even in defeat, she refuses to surrender her information. I think it also hints that she structured the coven in a way to consolidate as much power as she could, and power often comes by obfuscating crucial information from people you don't want to have it. After all, if you're the only one that knows how to do everything, it's harder to argue that you should be ousted.

Secondly, I stress the state of the coven. Even without the knowledge, there's still a world where they're able to send a huge team of witches to watch over the campus along with Amara and her friends. Again, however, I want the story to continue to be interesting, and that means keeping our heroes in the spotlight.

By showing off the dire state of the coven, it's easy to paint Bishop in a positive light while still creating a scenario where she can't help out our protagonists.

I also wanted to show that Bishop is taking her job as Headmistress seriously. As much as she cares for Tessa, it's impossible to ignore that she completely blew off her responsibilities by not contacting the coven when she found the cult. I do this partially to show that she's going to be a much better Headmistress, but also to set up the next plot beat: Elijah volunteering Imani to transfer into the school.

Imani and Elijah are two characters that I wish I'd found more time for.

I've mentioned before that I want everyone to feel like the hero of their own story, and that's very much the vibe with these two. In my head, Elijah has been subtly fighting against Cassandra this whole time, and he's been trying to coach Imani while also preparing to get her into a better place.

Imani, on the other hand, clearly loves studying magic. We saw her excitement earlier in the book when she was looking at Tessa's knife, and I like to think that moment endeared us to her. She also hinted in that same scene that maybe she wasn't telling the Coven everything she knew, and also, she maybe knew that Amara was a demon.

On a technical level, Imani exists to put even more distance between the Coven Heads and the student populace. For experienced witches, I think it would be pretty easy to deduce Amara's demonic nature, and I wanted to avoid a situation where I'm asking the audience to believe that every single student on campus told a clear, unified story about how Amara helped save the day but is totally human. Imani, then, was a character that saw this truth, then helped obfuscate it.

See, as someone who works closely with Elijah, she knew something was up, but she didn't know what. With that in mind, when she learned that Amara was a demon, she had a choice to make. Yes, I've established that demons are horribly powerful and forces to be feared, but from her perspective, that doesn't seem to be the case. Tessa, Vee, and presumably most of the students are trying to hide Amara's identity. I like to think that Imani, with knowledge the coven was up to something bad, decided that it was possible Cassandra was trying to enslave magical creatures in a bid for power. So, she keeps Amara's secret.

Again, I didn't get nearly as much time to explore Imani, but hopefully we got enough hints about her motivation to paint her as an interesting character. Plus, she gave Tessa a cool new knife!

Imani serves another role, however. I always wanted her to join the main cast at Aurelius, and what was she studying again? How to be a Scribe. Scribes are the people responsible for applying magical tattoos to witches. So, hypothetically, we now have an option for giving people magic if it fits the story.

Now, to be clear, I've done a lot of setup about magic to explain that it's not as easy as giving someone a tattoo. You also need to study the runic language of magic, to understand how all the symbols works together. Magical tattoos are also made with incredibly specialized materials, and those can be difficult and expensive to source. I forget if I've mentioned that in the story or not, but I'll make sure to bring it up in the future when it's more relevant.

The other thing I wanted to show with Imani, and this is another thing I think got overshadowed a bit, was that she loves being in the field. She's SO excited to see Tessa's knife and learn more about the theory behind it, and Elijah clearly sees this.

Plus, I also just really like Imani. She's really fun, she's passionate, and she gives Tessa someone to talk magic theory with. I'm excited to have her be a reoccurring character in future books, so hopefully you are too!

Moving on, we jump into some important delegation planning and stuff. I really wanted to show that this conversation happened, but I also wanted very much to not write it out. Thankfully, this was the perfect time to stress just how drained Amara was following the big fight and the hours of cleanup afterwards. It's almost like I'm building to something...

Before Amara is allowed to leave, however, Elizabeth asks her to stay after class. This whole dialogue, as quick as it is, serves to further stress the point I want making earlier about Amara's youth and the Coven Heads trying to help her learn and grow as a person.

Above all else, I wanted to stress something I've stressed before, when Amara was apologizing to Palesa and Elizabeth. The world is a tricky place, and it's not black and white. Amara did terrible things, but so did the coven. Amara has also helped a lot of people, as has the coven. This conversation exists to continue that thought process, to really stress that her actions have consequences.

I wanted to give Palesa another moment with Amara directly. She deserved a chance to stress, again, how terrible Amara's actions were, but also to acknowledge the reality of the situation. Even if Amara invaded Palesa's dreams, Palesa now has a chance to be open about her feelings with Elizabeth.

While I've mentioned above that I want certain parts of the story to feel hopeful and optimistic, and that I don't want to get bogged down in gray morality, that's not to say such ideas have no place in the series.

I'm really happy that this conversation is the last we see of Elizabeth and Palesa. I think it cements the strange dynamic the coven has with Amara, showing that they can work together but they still have their grievances. After their brief conversation, Amara is finally released, and everyone starts walking home.

And now it's time.

Time to go home.

Time for Amara and Vee to officially have their first private moment as a couple. Yes, they had a little bit of time on the roof earlier, but they still hadn't dealt with the threat of the coven. Now? There's nothing to do, they have the entire night to themselves, and Amara's exhausted.

Above all else, I wanted to show that nervous excitement you get when you're finally alone with someone and you're not quite sure what's going to happen next, and I think I really nailed that part. Amara keeps getting caught up in her own thoughts, and each time Vee confidently swoops in to calm things over.

I'll admit, this scene took a lot of effort to start.

Do you remember when Vee and Nick went on a date? And Nick said something along the lines of "We've been friends for so long I'm not sure how to transition into maybe dating?" Yeah, that was me, right here.

I've written four books now, and in those books, Amara and Vee have been everything but partners. They've been friends, enemies, tenuous allies, and snarky frenemies, but never lovers. What does that look like? What does that feel like? When I started writing this scene, I honestly had a really hard time getting myself in the right mindset, trying to see them as genuine, loving partners, despite that having been the goal the whole time.

So, yes, I wanted the start of this scene to feel awkward. Partially because I want my sex scenes to feel real and grounded, and partially because I was just as nervous as Vee and Amara. I still wasn't sure how to see them as lovers.

Starting slow was the perfect solution. It's awkward, Amara is literally tripping over herself, and then they just take some time to enjoy each other's company. They're gently making out, feeling each other's curves and getting used to the idea of being intimate with each other. Not only is this a great way to ease into the spicy fun, but is also gives me a chance to write something I've been picturing for years.

In the middle of making out, Amara reaches up and softly traces over Vee's scars. This was a really vulnerable moment, and I wanted to show Amara once again wrestling with that guilt, especially in the wake of how terrible she was just a day earlier.

See, this isn't just a chance to have two hot women bang, it's also the true climax of the first act. The coven, the Gate, that's all background to the one thing I felt mattered most: the romance between Amara and Vee. We've had so much time to see Amara work through her guilt over hurting Vee, and we even saw Vee forgive Amara in Book Three. We also saw Amara forgive herself in Book Four when she finally flew for the first time. Here, however, I thought it was important to revisit this idea now that they're actually a couple.

Not only is this a cute, tender moment, but it gives Vee a chance to reinforce the bond they have, the bond they've always had.

“I didn’t do it alone, Amara. I had you. At every step of the way, in every word you muttered, every text you sent, you told me I could be better. You never gave up on me.”

After this, the scene starts to get a little steamier, which brought me to another small problem of mine. Other than a little bit in Blood & Chlorophyll, I've never written a romantic sex scene before. So, on top of trying to get used to Vee and Amara as a couple, I also need to figure out how to write a sex scene that feels genuinely loving. I do this partially by starting so slow, by mixing in conversation and tender moments, but I wanted that energy to be present in the physical actions themselves as well.

I'm also able to start teasing another sub-plot I've been building up in the background for a while now.

As their clothes start coming off, they take time to talk about each other's bodies, with Vee commenting that she's seen Amara nearly naked quite a few times. She even reveals that she went back to look at the sexy charity pictures, which I thought was a really nice touch. Then, we get this moment.

“Any favorite costumes? I can put on anything you want, love,” Amara said, her lips curling into a devious smile.

“I want you, Amara. No costumes, no pretense, just the amazing girl I fell in love with.” As Vee finished talking, she slid even further down, her lips now grazing Amara’s stomach. The affection diverted all of Amara’s focus, and she bit her lip softly instead of responding.

Over the last few books, Amara has been growing more and more comfortable as a succubus, as she's slowly internalized the idea that sex is always about the other person. For her, it's just an act of feeding, and she needs to be the perfect partner to get as much energy as she can. The point of this journey was twofold. One, it showed Amara growing more comfortable with her demonic nature, for better or for worse. Two, it was lying the groundwork for this scene.

This scene is the ultimate payoff for their entire relationship, and part of that payoff is Vee stressing how much she loves Amara for who she is, not just because of what she can do or how hot she is.

Vee confesses that she thought of Amara when masturbating in Purgatory, and in that fantasy, Amara had her true form out. Here, we get this moment.

“Vee?” Amara asked. “Are you okay?”

“You’re not all here, Amara,” Vee whispered, peppering in soft kisses as they spoke. “I said I wanted you, without pretense.”

“You mean my horns and stuff? Well, I… I guess I thought they’d get in the way. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Amara, sweetie,” Vee said, grabbing the sides of Amara’s face. “I didn’t fall in love with you in spite of what you are; I fell in love with you. All of you. We’ve spent enough time together that I know how much you like having your true form out.”

Personally, I like to think there's some subtext here that implies Amara is still nervous that her demonic nature might make Vee uncomfortable. After all, their whole enemies phase started because Vee was trained from birth to see demons as enemies. I think it's reasonable for Amara to fear that Vee loves Amara's personality and humanity, and is simply tolerating her demonic side. That's why I needed to use this scene to convince her, and the audience, that's not the case. Vee loves all of Amara, full stop.

This also gives me a chance to show a slow, detailed reveal of Amara's true form. I haven't done this in ages, she also pulls it out so quickly, and I love how right it felt. I love Vee walking over and softly tracing over Amara's tail and wings, and I love the callback to their moment on the roof.

Of course, it's also another chance to show the silly, imperfect side of loving relationships.

With a quiet smile, Amara kissed Vee again. “I wish I could say the same. I hate how much it took for me to realize how I felt about you.” Another kiss, this one longer. “Although, in a way… I guess it’s a little romantic that I fell for you in the middle of falling for you.”

Vee snorted with surprise amusement before playfully slapping Amara’s shoulder. “Oh my god, Amara, that’s so stupid,” she said, her laughter growing more intense with each passing second. “You’re the corniest person I’ve ever met, and I love you so much. Now go lie down so I can finally fuck my hot-ass demon girlfriend!”

I really wanted there to be humor in this scene. When I first started writing, I did it partially because of how sterile sex scenes often are in smut. It's all passion, all the time, and the characters never seem like they're genuinely having fun outside of the fucking part.

The humor also gives me the perfect chance to let them both agree that they want to call themselves girlfriends.

After getting back into the swing of their passion, however, we get perhaps the most important line of this sex scene.

Amara cocked her head in confusion. “Vee, I’m a succubus. I like what you like, I enjoy myself the most when your aura is brightest, both from arousal and pleasure.”

“Sorry, that’s not good enough.”

“I-I…” Amara paused. “What do you mean?”

“You think I’m seriously going to accept that my girlfriend exists solely for my pleasure? That you’re incapable of having your own opinions about what feels good and what doesn’t?” Vee leaned in, kissing Amara’s neck before biting her ear and whispering, “Nah, I’m not buying it.”

This is, again, a chance to reinforce a few things. For one, it's Vee showing optimism that Amara is more than the stereotypes about succubi. This ties back to my previous thoughts about hope and optimism, about always striving for the best outcome in any situation. For all Vee knows, Amara might be completely correct here, but she refuses to give in to that logic.

This is also another way to stress how perfect they are for each other. All of Amara's other partners have just been there for the sex. This isn't a bad thing, of course, but many of them also specifically get aroused by Amara's demon bits.

Vee, however, demands to see Amara's true form out of love, and then refuses to let Amara feed on her until they've tried to get Amara to cum purely on her own, without the helping hand of someone else's arousal.

It's also a subtle jab at other, poorly written smut stories. Here, I've created a character who's literal biological purpose is to be the perfect sexual partner, and even then, she has a partner who sees her as a true equal and wants to see her enjoy sex for its own sake. If I can do that with a succubus, y'all can do it with normal-ass people. Just saying.

This is also a fun dynamic that only the two of them can have, as Vee is the only person that can feel Amara feeding on her. This again adds a bit of fun to the scene, in my opinion.

At this point, the sex scene finally starts in earnest. Vee is earnestly trying to make Amara cum, and she's proven absolutely right that Amara can enjoy sex without feeding on someone else. I also love the idea that they're doing all of this in a room only lit by Amara's hellfire, which grows brighter and more colorful as she cums.

Candlelight is often seen as romantic, right? Well, my candles are literal windows that let us see how in love Amara is with Vee. That's some quality gay shit right there.

It's finally time to switch, and with that comes Amara's return to feeding on Vee. I loved being able to hold back for a bit, only to come back and really dive into the details of what Amara sees in Vee's aura. I gave myself permission to be incredibly flowery with my descriptions here, and I personally love the idea of visualizing Vee's arousal as a powerful river coursing with shades of love. I've established earlier that love is hard for Amara to read, and I think it's so romantic that she sees it here as clear as day.

I get to show Amara savoring every detail of Vee's body, and I even get another chance to show a little bit of that nervous energy and humor I think is so important to ground a sex scene.

Though, for some reason, memories of Vee in a swimsuit now came rushing back in vivid detail.

Why do I remember that so clearly? Fuck, have I really been horribly attracted to her this whole time, and just never realized it? Ugh, I’m hopeless.

It's also fun to poke at the meta-narrative a bit. Yes, it's been obvious the whole time, Amara, you glorious she-himbo.

When then get the following passage as Vee finally starts cumming.

A deep, powerful moan radiated through Vee's body as she came. Her grip on Amara tightened even more, and for a brief moment flickers of angelic sparks tickled the back of Amara's head, causing her to flinch in surprise. The sparks then jumped out, arcing through the air above Vee before expanding into bursts of light, shimmering and refracting through space as they sent iridescent cascades of radiant energy towards the walls. Hints of a ring of light raced around Vee’s head as well, somehow racing in and out of the pillow as if they existed somewhere other than here, their current visual merely a suggestion of Vee’s true presence. The aspects of Vee’s spirit that didn’t leap for joy to the surrounding room settled just underneath her skin, causing her entire body to glow with effervescent pearlescence while she squirmed with pleasure underneath her demonic love.

I've never done this before, but just the other day, I found the perfect song for this scene. Like, it's so perfect it's unnatural. Whenever this series gets an animated show, this song is what's going to play over this sex scene, and I can picture the exact moment the lyrics mirror the rainbows bursting from Vee's body as she glows in orgasmic bliss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMvtaYnbETE

Is it on the nose? Absolutely, but it's such a powerful song, and it's so romantic. It speaks to Vee's journey about turning away from the church, and I love it.

I've talked before about how annoyed I am by the modern trend of cynicism in movies. Stories just don't take themselves seriously anymore, everything is a joke, and I hate it. That's why I'm going out of my way to say, no, these lesbians are fucking to sweeping organ music while rainbows explode out and intermingle with the hellfire candles of Amara's soul.

In the end, once both of them have cum, I let myself gloss over the rest of the night. I make it clear they spend hours fucking, and that's okay with me.

By the time I ended this scene, I'd completed my own little character arc. In writing this sex scene, I completely rewired my brain to fully internalize these two as the perfect couple. They're so in love, they're so perfect together, and I couldn't be happier with how this scene speaks to the depths of their affection.

It would have been really easy to end Book Four here. I think, if I had, no one would have really cared. However, after four whole books on constant nonsense, all my characters deserve a chance to just be happy with each other.

It was complete coincidence that this chapter ended on Christmas. I had initially assumed the book would end days or weeks after the holiday, and that these scene would have been Nick boldly saying "Hey, we all missed Christmas, so we're doing it now." But, somehow, the book ended on Christmas, and that's got to be a sign or something.

After giving the happy couple a few minutes to wake up in each other's arms and have a cute little talk about miracles, I reveal that someone is in Amara's house. It's Nick! He comes over all the time like this and it's never weird, but obviously he doesn't know that Vee spent the night, and he even brought Tessa with him. Amara, being the adorable little goober she is, panics at learning Tessa is there before Vee reminds her that it literally doesn't matter. They're planning on telling everyone anyways, right? So why not now?

I love how this speaks to the very playful, teasing relationship Amara and Tessa have. Amara is used to being nervous and flustered about Tessa teasing her, and Vee has to remind her it's not a big deal.

I'm SO happy with the eventual reveal.

With a deep breath, Amara pulled down the illusory wall and started talking.

“Hey, sorry about that, I—”

“I fucking knew it!!” Tessa shouted, leaping up from the couch. “I knew Vee was here! Didn’t I tell you, Nick? Alright, fess up, tell me everything! Out with it!”

Unable to hold back a smile, Amara felt herself blushing with excitement. “Well, um, yeah. Vee and I are a thing now. Like, we’re… y’know… dating.”

“AAH!” Chloé squealed in excitement, appearing in the middle of the room as she flew over to Amara and Vee. “Omigosh! You have to tell us what happened! I’ve always thought you two would make a great couple but I never wanted to say anything ‘cuz that would be weird but AAAH that’s so exciting!!”

I always love writing group scenes with all five of them together, and I'm so happy I didn't end the book after the sex scene. I get to give Amara and Nick a moment alone together, too, which was needed. I regret that Nick took a back seat for this Book, and I can't wait to remedy that for Book Five.

After everyone decorates the apartment, and food is dinner, we get our next big twist! Evelyn's back!!!

Not only is this amazing because, well, it's Evelyn, but it also lets me reveal that Nick was trying to call in help when Amara was going berserk. I think it explains both with Evelyn appears without prior notice, but also hints that Nick wasn't simply twiddling his thumbs this whole time.

Next, Amara reintroduces everyone to her mom. This whole little skit is admittedly very silly, but I think it speaks to how excited Amara is to have everyone together. In her head, despite having told her friends about her mom, none of them have properly met now that all the secrets are out in the open. It also lets Evelyn have brief little moments with all the other characters, which is a first for the series!

It also gives me a chance to reveal Chloé's chosen last name: Belmont! Yes, she's a nerd. Yes, it's a fucking awesome name.

I've already gone in-depth about the many different reveals we get from Evelyn, so I won't bother repeating my thoughts here. The one thing I'll say is that, when I was writing this scene, I was actually pretty nervous that I was dumping too much information on the reader at once. I mean, we learn quite a lot of stuff, and in my initial draft, Evelyn even goes more in depth about the ramifications of Amara being mortal. I'm happy I cut some of that out, and now I think it flows a lot better. It gives us something to be happy about while also setting the stakes for the rest of the series, and I think that's the perfect balance to strike.

Plus, we also get this scene, which I find hilarious.

Turning around, Evelyn beckoned for Tessa to come closer. “Tessa, dear, is it alright if Amara feeds on you real quick?”

“What?!” Tessa asked. “Uh, no offense, but I don’t really feel comfortable boning down in front of your mom, Amara.”

Happy to have a distraction from pondering the existential implications of her existence, Amara stood up. “Tess, you know you can’t hide anything from us, we’re succubi.”

“You’re so horny I smelled it before I even finished teleporting,” Evelyn added with a chuckle. “Based on your smell, I’d say you’re picturing my daughter and her girlfriend in bed.”

“I… that’s…” Tessa stammered, looking between the two demons present before giving up and walking closer. As she sat down next to Amara, she quietly grumbled, “Stupid succubus powers…”

I love reminding everyone that Amara can always sense arousal, and then Tessa's a hopelessly horny little bitch.

Then, just before we jump into dinner, I got to give Evelyn and Tessa one last little moment.

After a small chuckle, Evelyn responded, “No, nothing like that. I never told you this before, since I was trying to keep my identity a secret, but I actually met your mother once.”

“Shit, really? When?”

“Oof, that would have been… twenty or so years ago? She was a wonderful woman, and a spectacular Headmistress. She actually saved my life, as well as the life of a dear friend,” Evelyn said, her thoughts growing softer as she seemed to dwell on old memories. After a moment, she returned to the present, placing a hand on Tessa’s shoulder. “What’s important, Tessa, is that I saw you stand up to your coven when I read Amara’s soul. There’s no doubt in my mind that she would be proud of the woman you’ve become.”

Tessa gasped, and tears briefly appeared in her eyes before she jumped at Evelyn, finally taking her up on the hug she’d offered earlier. Evelyn hugged her tight, her tail softly massaging her back. “That’s… I mean, I never knew much about what she did back then…” Tessa whispered into Evelyn’s shoulder. “What happened?”

“Long story short? Cassandra was being a power-hungry bitch, and your mother stopped her.”

The two of them laughed, though Tessa’s joy was heavily mixed with the sound of bittersweet crying. “Fuck yeah, mom.”

For those of you that have read through Daughter of Damnation, this exchange makes perfect sense. For anyone that hasn't, I still think it's a really sweet moment. It hints at something exciting that you could read if you want to, but it's not mandatory. It also follows through with my earlier tease of everyone hugging Evelyn except Tessa. More importantly than hugging Succu-mommy, however, it gives Tessa closure for a plot beat that's been dancing around in the margins for a while.

On multiple occasions, Cassandra and Simone both taunted Tessa about her relationship with her parents. Simone thought they were all stupid, but Cassandra specifically tried to use Tessa's mother's status as Headmistress to shame her and keep her in check. Here, I thought it was important that Evelyn tell Tessa directly she believes her mother would be proud, and that they both got to pull one over on Cassandra. It's a rare moment of connection for Tessa, and one I'm really excited I got to give her.

And then everyone eats dinner. There aren't any problems, nothing goes wrong, they just get to be happy and enjoy a holiday dinner together. We see snippets of their conversation, and overall they're just having fun geeking out about all the crazy stuff that happened during the fight.

Afterwards, most of them retreat to the couch to start playing one of Chloé's games. Not only is this a cute moment, but it also follows through on ideas expressed earlier in the book, especially by Tessa. She mentioned the Nick that she felt really bad about never taking a genuine interest in Chloé's activities, and here we see things are already changing. They're all gathered around taking turns playing Hollow Knight!

If you don't know what that is, it truly doesn't matter (which is how you write good references, by the way). However, for those of you in the know, you also get the fun of me poking fun at how long it took Silksong to release. My plan for literal years, was to have this scene poke fun at how Silksong was seemingly never going to come out, but lo and behold, it fucking comes out like a week before this chapter goes out. What are the chances, right?

Anyways, I'm now taking credit for Silksong releasing. You're welcome.

We then jump over to a small scene with Amara and Evelyn, which I think is really important. For those of you that read Daughter of Damnation, this gives us a little bit of closure over Evelyn's emotional journey there. Personally, I like to think that even if you haven't read DoD, this scene still tells us important information about Evelyn as a character, and it doesn't rely on you having read DoD for it to make sense.

And then everyone watches a cheesy Christmas movie! I love dropping movies into my story, even though I try to do it sparingly. Here, I really wanted everyone to watch It's A Wonderful Life because it just felt too perfect. It's Christmas, they have a literal angel without wings among them, and that story is all about learning to treasure the impact friends and communities have on each other. I'm personally cackling over the thought of Tessa ribbing Vee over whether or not the depiction of angels in the movie is accurate.

When the movie ends, it's time to start wrapping up. We get Amara carrying Vee to bed, and she even pokes fun at the idea of "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings."

I love writing Amara and Vee cuddling up for the night, but I ran into a little bit of trouble with this scene. See, I ended the previous scene with them cuddling, and I didn't want to end this scene the same way. Ultimately, I wanted this ending to feel a little bigger, and I'm really happy with what I settled on.

I love the thought of the metaphorical camera zooming out of Amara's apartment, showing the snowstorm above campus, and the aurora above the clouds. It's cute, it's romantic, and it speaks to the inherently magical nature of the campus. It also canonizes why the campus mascot is the Aurora, which you all voted on!

I couldn't think of a more perfect ending to this Book, and I'm so happy I was able to get here. To all of you that have been following my work, I hope the ending of Book Four was every bit as triumphant and romantic as I wanted it to be. I set some pretty big goals for myself when I started this series, and I'm honestly a little shocked I pulled them off so well.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for sticking around. I'm beyond grateful that I have so many people that read and enjoy my work, and I hope I've inspired all of you in one way or another.

All my love,

Nyx ♥