Daughter of Damnation Ch. 5 - Reflection

The start of this chapter was a welcome break after the high-tension kidnapping from last chapter. I really like the dynamic between Evelyn and Zadkiel, and this is the first time that Zad has seen some concrete proof that maybe Evelyn isn't just trying to ruin his life forever.

Importantly, I also thought it was crucial to see Evelyn working through the lingering emotions that sprang up as she stormed the facility. The goal here was to show that collecting that much power again has brought her dangerously close to her old, cruel habits, and she needs to put in some work to keep that part of herself from popping up again.

As much as possible, I like to show follow up for important moments like this. As much fun as it is showing everyone what happened in 1938 to make Evelyn a kinder person, I also think it's important to stress that this is an ongoing process.

Even still, flashes of anger creep through as they keep talking. In particular, I like the following line:

A flash of anger broke through Evelyn’s control, and she glared at Zadkiel, her eyes flaring with infernal presence. “Blighting the world? Need I remind you why I exist, archangel? Your siblings made us, cast my mother from the Garden and cursed her to become the monster she is today. Never forget that, when you curse a demon, you and your ilk are the reasons we exist. Were you a part of that decision, Zadkiel? Did you agree that Lilith deserved to be banished from paradise?”

This whole paragraph is, in my opinion, a really great teaser at what kind of resentment Evelyn might have harbored in her more cruel days. Is this anger genuinely hers? Does any of it come secondhand from Lilith? I think every possible answer is interesting, and it was great to have a chance to show some of Evelyn's older ideologies pop up. In 1938, we mostly only saw her anger and cruelty, but this speaks more to what kind of motivation might drive a demon as powerful as Evelyn.

Conversations with the two of them very frequently boil down to philosophical arguments about Heaven, Hell, redemption, and all that fun stuff. I'll admit, when I first envisioned this book, I wasn't expecting there to be so much heated religious debate, but I really like how it sets the 2000 portion of this story apart from, not only the 1938, but the entire Suddenly A Succubus series.

I certainly hope they're enjoyable conversations, I know I have a blast writing them. They're also, on some occasions, a chance to start laying groundwork for the broader themes of the story, which is certainly a pleasant surprise.

After a bit more debate, we settle back into a comfortable traveling groove. Which, thankfully, gave me a chance to indulge a bit more of my favorite urban fantasy trope: supernatural creature baffled by modern technology. I absolutely adore when I find chances to have Zadkiel do this kind of stuff, and this time, I found a really great opportunity to give them something to finally focus on.

The idea that they couldn't read was something I came up with on the spot, but I love how well it fits in with the story. It makes the trip feel a bit more realistic, and it gives me another chance to show Zadkiel expressing their affection for their daughter.

If this story were longer, we'd probably get more time with Zadkiel and all the books they were reading. In my head, I'm picturing the car trip turning into a traveling book club as Zadkiel powers through another book, all well pointing out bits and pieces to Evelyn. In particular, I'd probably expand on how much Zadkiel enjoyed The Green Mile.

I go out of my way to avoid dropping references to other pieces of media. I'm not sure how obvious this is, though I'm sure it'll be more obvious now that I've pointed it out. Whenever I do make references, I try to make them a bit more obscure.

My favorite example of this is from Book Two.

Today, Chloé was playing a game about farming. She’d inherited a dilapidated farm from her grandpa, and needed to restore it to working order while slowly integrating with the seaside town nearby. Amara had first thought it was an older game, as its heavily pixelated graphics seemed out of date, but Chloé assured her it was purely an aesthetic choice.

In my opinion, this is the best way to reference another piece of media. A lot of people reading this scene are just going to think "Oh, she's playing Stardew Valley, cool." I could probably get a similar reaction just by saying "She's playing Stardew Valley," but I didn't say that. Why? Well, imagine someone who's never played, or even heard of, Stardew Valley before. Dropping the name doesn't do anything for them, but typing out a short description of the game gives them a much better mental picture.

By doing it this way, even a complete gaming stranger will still have the chance to observe Chloé playing a cute game about farming. They'll know she's not playing anything weirdly violent, and that will inform how they view the character.

Now, obviously, I break this little rule of mine by mentioning The Green Mile.

The biggest reason is that, with only seven chapters, I have significantly less time to work with. I still make sure to describe the book for anyone who hasn't read it, at least a little bit, but I thought it was important to say which book Zadkiel was reading.

Personally, I like to envision that Zadkiel grows to absolutely adore this book. They probably read through it slower than most other books because it gives them so much to think about. Their story in this book is very much one of witnessing the complexities of humanity firsthand, and they're fresh off of a "betrayal" by the cops they reached out to.

Do they feel a connection with John Coffee, the gentle giant with strange healing powers? How do they feel about all the villains of the book who, even though they get their comeuppance, still have plenty of time to show off how terrible they are? The book also has a protagonist who wrestles with the ramifications of letting a genuine miracle-worker walk to his death in the electric chair, and you know Zadkiel has feelings about that.

For better or for worse, we don't get to see any of that. I'm glad I found a really fitting book to give Zadkiel here, and to make all their reading feel a bit more real, but for now it's time to move on.

Next we see the group stop by a motel, and this was a great chance to show what lengths Evelyn goes to in order to keep Zadkiel and their child safe. Constant patrolling, coupled with intimate knowledge of all the different secret organizations in the country, gives her a lot to do while Zadkiel sleeps.

It's also, conveniently, a great way for me to make the world feel a bit more alive. She's looking for Government operates, Church agents, possible cryptids, but also a group she calls the "Veil." I've teased in the past that there are a bunch of different secret organizations crawling around, but I've never named or shown any of them before. In the mainline series, where I'm mostly focusing on one threat at a time, it's hard to give attention to all the different ideas I've cooked up for this universe.

Thankfully, because Evelyn is so ancient and well-informed, she gives me a great chance to hint at the larger world SaS is set in!

The full name of that last organization is The Crimson Veil. I've got a small outline on who they are, how they act, and what their capabilities are, but they won't be relevant for this story. Why bring them up, then? Well, the answer (predictably) involves me going on a bit of a tangent.

Have you ever watched a movie, played a game, or read a book, and wanted to see more of the world? Wondered what else might happen in such a vast, interesting universe?

What about the opposite? Have you ever consumed a story and gone "Alright, that was fun, but I can't picture any other stories taking place here." I've often experienced stories where the world feels 100% tailor-made to the protagonist of the story, and once that protagonist saves the day, the world ceases to be interesting.

I'm doing my best to make the world of The Aurelius Archives feel like the former. In a perfect world, I want people to read through these books and imagine what kind of other stories might be set in this world, and what kind of stories might be happening off camera.

So how do you do that? Well, personally, I think it's pretty easy, it just takes a lot of focus. It involves constantly hinting at the larger world surrounding the story, and weaving those hints into every single piece of the narrative. Take, for example, Tessa's Coven.

(I'm going to talk briefly about SaS Book Four, here. If you're somehow reading DoD before SaS, proceed with caution!)

We see four Coven Heads, and they all appear to have differing opinions about what's happening in Book Four of SaS. We get hints of political intrigue, blackmail, secret romances, a bunch of stuff that I never really take the time to explain on screen. We see that Elizabeth Bishop has some kind of deep personal connection with Tessa, but I never say what it is. Are they just good friends? Does Tessa view Bishop as a mother figure? By not showing this, I imply that this connection was created off-page, and so the world feels bigger.

If I were to explore every idea I brought up, the world would feel finite and uninteresting. I personally believe that every single facet of the world should hint at other interesting ideas and people. Maybe you read Daughter of Damnation and go "Ooh, that Crimson Veil thing sounds interesting!" However, if I ever write something about the Crimson Veil, it would ideally tease at even more things going on around them.

Anyways, back to the present. (Well, 2000.) Evelyn is spying on the lobby of the motel when two witches show up. Oh no! Thankfully, they don't seem to recognize how close they are to two incredibly powerful supernatural creatures.

It's also, fittingly enough, a fun connection to SaS Book Four. Eagle-eyed readers will notice that one of these witches is Cassandra Davenport, the main antagonist of SaS Book Four. Here, she'd not the Headmistress, some woman named Tabitha Blackwood is. Hmmmm, Blackwood, where have I heard that name before...

Eh, probably nothing.

This is another great example of how I try to make the world feel big and interconnected. This is obviously a younger Cassandra, and since she's not Headmistress, she's acting a bit differently. Again, however, I'm writing DoD with the intent that it serves as a standalone book. With that in mind, I never actually make any meta hints to SaS Book Four in this chapter. If you've never read SaS, this reads as a perfectly functional introduction to two new antagonists for our book.

Once they settle in, Evelyn wakes up Zadkiel, and it's time to return to the road trip. That Cassandra woman also watches them leave for a bit, I'm sure it's nothing.

I'll have less to say about the 1938 portion of this story. I think it's pretty self-explanatory, and it functions mostly as a chance to see Evelyn really settling into a routine at the Chicago Hooverville. She's seeing more patients, she's playfully bantering with the mayor, and she's even risking a shopping trip to go get Vince a nice shirt.

The most important thing that happens is Evelyn finally admits that maybe, just maybe, she might prefer living here to reclaiming her former power and living in Hell. Her entire journey in 1938 has been leading her to this point, the moment where she finally recognizes her character growth and honestly decides what she wants for herself. She hasn't quite committed to it yet, but it's a hint at the life she might choose if given the chance.

Of course, those of us who've experienced stories in the past likely have a sense for when things are about to go wrong. Things are going a bit too well for Evelyn. She gets Vince a present, they go on a cute little walk, and they finally admit they have feelings for each other. We get to learn more about Vince and his previous wife, and their conversation gives us another chance to see Evelyn wrestling with parts of herself she's likely never seen before. In particular, the idea of being equals with someone else.

Sadly, this is where things start to go wrong.

Another demon shows up, one who's eager to take Evelyn out and claim whatever Infernal rewards might await whoever slays a demon as powerful as Evelyn. A pretty quick fight breaks out, and Evelyn is forced to finally break through the chains holding back her abilities. Once she does, she's able to take out Aza in a matter of seconds, but that's not the real threat. We end the chapter with her worst fear coming to light: Vince now knows what she is.

What a cliffhanger!

I'm trying a lot of new stuff with DoD. There's a lot of slower chapters, but we also have bits of montage here and there, and I'm really happy that I'm finding chances to try out new things through this narrative. Hope you're enjoying it as much as I am!

Nyx ♥