The Couples Interview

Okay, Mr. Kimrick, Mr. Price.. We’ve got another interview for you today! Since you two seem to be getting along so well together recently, I thought we could throw some ‘questions for couples’ at you.

Kimrick: [shakes his head disapprovingly]

Don’t worry, this one is more of a questionnaire! Just pick choice A or B, you don’t even have to elaborate! Unless you want to. Which we want you to.

Kylee: Ha, I’ll elaborate for both of us, don’t worry.

Alright, let’s get started. Who is most likely to cuddle after sex?

Kylee: Ouch, starting off with a tough one.. Both of us really..? But I'd say Kimrick, I think he likes to wind down that way.

Kimrick: Yeah, probably me.

Who is most likely to cave in after an argument?

Kylee: Kimrick.

Kimrick: Kylee.

Kylee: You fuckin’ liar, you back down way faster than me!

Kimrick: No way, yer the first one to come crying back to me when you want food!

Kylee: …Okay, maybe.

Who is most likely to swallow? And/or deep throat?

Kylee: [looks at Kimrick] Me, right? I feel like I swallow more than you do. And I've deep throated guys before but I don't think I have enough throat for Kimrick.

Kimrick: [a bit flustered] I uh, yeah, I guess you.

Who is most likely to moan louder in bed?

Kylee: Uhh..

Kimrick: Why're you even hesitating, we both know it's you.

Kylee: It is not!

Kimrick: [laughs] Boy, I almost had to shove a pillow over your face one time just to shut you up for a minute.

Kylee: [laughs] I totally don’t remember that.

Who is most likely to propose?

Kimrick: Prob’ly me.

Kylee: Yeah, I don’t think either of us are big on marriage in general but if anyone did it, it'd be him.

Who is most likely to talk dirty?

Kimrick: This one's Kylee.

Kylee: Well, hold on. It depends on the situation. ‘Cause I fuck around and talk weird shit to you all the time. But in the bedroom when you get real into it, you do start spoutin' some dirty shit.

Kimrick: Well, I guess I never heard myself over all yer loud moaning. [smirks]

Who is most likely to make plans for a nice date?

Kylee: Oh, Kim for sure. I’m fuckin’ garbage at romantic shit. The only things I'd consider "dates" that I've been on are me and Scotty going to concerts.. Which we would've done anyway even if we didn't fuck afterward.

Kimrick: It also depends what you consider a “date”. We don’t go out to fancy restaurants much but I might try to make us a nice dinner at home sometimes. So I guess that’s considered planning.

Who is most likely to use their tongue during foreplay?

Kylee: Kim.

Kimrick: Hey, we both do!

Kylee: No way, you're all tongue. [laughs] You never noticed?

Kimrick: Huh, I guess not..

Who is most likely to leave bruises on the others' skin?

Kylee: Also Kim.

Kimrick: Really??

Kylee: [laughs] When you're not licking me you're biting me. Not sure if this is me praising your efforts or me shooting myself down for sucking at foreplay.

Who is most likely to want to hold hands?

Kylee: Uhh.. I'm not too much a hand-holding person. [looks at Kimrick] Are you?

Kimrick: I’ve never really done it in public or just walking around together but I don't mind if we're just chillin' at home or when we go to sleep.

Kylee: Oh yeah, that's true. Then yeah, Kim.

Who is most likely to grab or slap the others' ass?

Kylee: Out of bed, me. In bed, Kimrick.

Kimrick: Yeah, I can agree to that.

Who is most likely to snore?

Kimrick: I don't think I snore? [looks at Kylee] I know you don’t.

Kylee: You just breathe loudly. Which could be mistaken as snoring but it's definitely not as bad. I can sleep through that, at least.

Kimrick: You haven’t heard snoring ’til you’ve shared a room with Dylan. That man can wake up the neighbors. [laughs]

Who is most likely to listen to music during sex?

Kimrick: [shrugs and turns to Kylee]

Kylee: Uhh.. Neither of us, I guess? I've had music on in the background if Scotty and I left his computer on but it was kinda unrelated to the fucking. [laughs]

Kimrick: I’m not even sure how anyone could listen to music during sex, I feel like I’d just start hummin’ to the song.

Kylee: Same! Plus I bet you and I could never agree on a song so the whole night would be us fighting over what to fuck to.

[both laugh]

Who is most likely to be scared of horror movies and/or secretly like romance movies?

Kylee: Kim on both accounts.

Kimrick: What! I don't really watch either of those.

Kylee: You refuse to watch any scary movies at night with me and one of your favorite movies is Titanic, don't you even deny that.

Kimrick: Well I…! Fine..

Who is most likely to give a better blowjob?

Kylee: Kim.

Kimrick: Kylee.

[both look at each other and laugh]

Kylee: Well, I guess I'll take the compliment.

Kimrick: Likewise.

Who is most likely to climax first in bed?

Kylee: Me.

Kimrick: Yeah, I agree.

Kylee: Not gonna lie, I’m kinda glad I do. I think you always get this huge burst of confidence when I cum and it’s pretty fuckin’ sexy.

Kimrick: Really? Man, I’m learning so much about myself in this interview [flustered laugh]

And lastly, who is most likely to withhold sex to win an argument? And who would give in first?

Kylee: 100% Kimrick. He can last way longer without sex and he knows it so I almost feel like that’s ammo for him. And of course I end up giving in.

Kimrick: [laughs] Hey, it gets hard sometimes.

Kylee: Oh, does it? [laughs]

[both laugh]

And that’s it, boys! Thanks for stopping by, be sure to pick up some free lube at the front desk on your way out.