NSFW Interview

RedMari: Good morning, everyone! I’m sitting here with James Kimrick and Kylee Price with a quick interview for the two of-

Kimrick: Oh no, I don’t like these interviews. [gets up and tries to leave the room] …Are these doors locked? 

Kylee: Ooh, this is gonna be good, I love these.

RM: Yes the doors are locked, you get the key when we get these answers. First question! Do either of you have any unusual kinks or fetishes in the bedroom?

Kylee: Hmm.. I don’t have any real specific kinks myself but I’m down for anything if others do. Well, almost anything. If it starts getting gross like with foot fetishes or bodily fluids, I’m out.

Kimrick: ..I don’t think I have any.

RM: Any kind of kink you’d like to try on each other perhaps?

Kylee: [looks at Kimrick] Good question.

Kimrick: Why are you staring at me like that?

Kylee: I’d be up for some sub-dom play given our size difference, maybe. I could see that being fun. Maybe some light BDSM. You?

Kimrick: I don’t, uh.. I guess I can agree on that one. It kinda comes down to the moment or mood so it’s hard to just pick something. But my last boyfriend was kinda into being dominated and I went along with it.

RM: Well, sounds like you two are on the same page on that one! Next question: Do you guys ever masturbate to the thought of each other?

Kimrick: I don’t masturbate often.

Kylee: You liar, every guy does. I’ve surprisingly only jacked off once since being here and it wasn’t even anything special, just woke up hard one morning. A few thoughts may have crossed my mind though after seeing Kim’s body, yeah.

RM: Was this before or after you two had sex?

Kylee: I think right after we first showered together when I broke the water pipe.

RM: Haha, well maybe that was a sign. For Kimrick, would you ever let Kylee top you?

Kimrick: I’m not saying never but I prefer to top.

Kylee: Why you gotta give a guy hope like that. He’d never fuckin' let me top him.

RM: What I’m hearing is that there’s hope! Okay Kimrick, if you had to have sex or maybe just give a blowjob to anyone else besides Kylee on the ranch, who would it be?

Kimrick: Maybe Dallas.

Kylee: Who the fuck is Dallas?

Kimrick: He used to work at the ranch a few years ago—

Kylee: No sir! She meant currently working, you ain’t dodging this with some past crush bullshit.

Kimrick: Fine... I guess.. Dylan, maybe. He’s kinda my type but I don’t think he’d be up for the offer at all.

Kylee: [snickers] A girl can dream.

Kimrick: Shut up! And don’t you fuckin’ say anything!

RM: Do you think you’d have gotten with Kylee faster if he was your type?

Kimrick: It’s hard to say since if he wasn’t some drug-dealing punk, then we probably wouldn’t have met. It’s kinda too weird now to picture him as anything but himself so who knows. Probably, though.

RM: Alright this one’s for Kylee, what’s your favorite bedroom toy?

Kylee: I haven’t experimented with too many toys, actually. My buddy Scotty got us a double-sided dildo once but we couldn’t get the hang of it so we just fucked each other. We may have been drinking, it was a fun night. I’m not opposed to toys though, I’d be willing to try again.

RM: If money and onlookers weren’t a problem, where would you two like to go to fuck each other?

Kylee: Hmmm… I’d say a concert. I don’t know how you’d avoid onlookers there but the loud music, the rush, you can’t beat that. Not sure Kimrick would like my concerts though.

Kimrick: That’d just give me a headache. I’d probably say maybe a beach or somewhere scenic, I think that could be kinda mood-setting.

Kylee: Ew, a beach? Sand in your ass for days. Tell you what, you fuck me at a concert, I’ll let you fuck me at a beach.

RM: Kimrick, would you consider yourself possessive? Would you be open to a threesome with Kylee and someone else?

Kimrick: I do think I can get kinda possessive at times but I don’t think I do it intentionally. Also don’t think threesomes are for me.

Kylee: I was in one once, you’re not missing much. No one knew what they were doing and it called for too much coordination that we didn’t have. [laughs]

RM: This one's for Kylee, who’s given you the best sex you’ve ever had?

Kylee: Oooh, that’s a hard one. Can I have multiple answers? Scotty and I are so close that we’ve never have a bad time. But honestly, Kimrick was pretty good on a totally different level.

Kimrick: Really?

Kylee: Yeah, most of the guys I’ve slept with just want the sex or we'd just want each other’s bodies, but I think it was different that first time with Kim? Like I know I’m not his type and it was so rushed and raw... I don’t think I’ve cum that hard in a while. Kim.. are you okay? Are you blushing?

RM: Here, let’s change the topic! Something more easy to answer! Kimrick, just how long is your dick?

Kimrick: Um.. I haven’t measured it since like high school.. I’d say 4 or 5 inches?

Kylee: [laughs] It’s like 5 soft and 8 hard.

Kimrick: I really don’t think it’s that big.

Kylee: It’s been inside me, it’s that big.

RM: Would either of you consider role play in the bedroom?

Kylee: I’ve never been too big into role play. I like to think I can handle a lot but pretending to be a teacher and student or astronaut and alien or some shit just makes me laugh. I’ve seen too much bad porno acting, I guess. [chuckles] Reminds me of that.

Kimrick: I’ve never tried any kind of role play but based on how you just described it, I’m sure I wouldn’t care for astronauts and aliens either.

RM: What are your favorite things about having sex with each other?

Kylee: I’d say he’s more gentle than I thought he’d be. It got on my nerves at times that he wouldn’t rough me up but thinking about it I’d rather him be more cautious than rough what with him packin’ that monster in his pants. But I bet I could talk him into some rougher shit if I wanted.

Kimrick: [flustered] I.. uh..

RM: Do you need a second?

Kimrick: No, I just…. I guess all of it? Like the sounds he makes, his responses, how he feels.. Just all of it. Not sure if that’s a cop out to the question.

RM: That’s actually pretty romantic. You’re saying you two had that good of bedroom chemistry?

Kimrick: Well, I guess, unless the alcohol had something to do with it. But all those things are pretty important to me and I remember them all, even now.

Kylee: [stares at Kimrick wordlessly]

RM: And lastly, for fun, if you had to have your dick on any other place on your body, where would it be?

Kylee: [laughs] Woah, hmmm… Maybe my hand? It’d be pretty easy to fuck someone that way. Then again how do you shake hands with someone. Or hold a phone. It could retract out of my knuckles like the guy in X-Men. [poses clenched fists like Wolverine]

Kimrick: That sounds terrible. I’d say thigh, maybe? Easier to hide than a hand and sex would still be kinda easy.

Kylee: Well that’s cheating, yours fuckin’ goes down your thigh anyway.

RM: Alright, you boys are done! I’ll be leaving the room in case this interview sparked any ideas between you two. Condoms and lube are under the couch you’re sitting on, see you later!