Kristoffer Pauly

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -143

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Patreon shit the bed again ... It was bound to happen, since they've had 2 months of no platform-breaking stuff. Welp, anyway, hopefully they fix this soon, because this massive font size is giving me an aneurysm.

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Chapter -143

“What are we gonna do about James?” Steve asked, as I tried to think of the best place to use the flare. I wasn’t too familiar with Madeville, since it wasn’t a place worth visiting, so I was struggling to come up with a good place with lots of space to fight Aphid-Dogs and Minor Wardens.

“I hadn’t really thought about that,” I replied.

“You definitely can’t bring him with you!” Panda insisted.

“There is a Safe Zone in Madeville’s town hall,” Tina said. “We can take him there.”

“Was that the one made by Matthew Twine?” Panda asked.

“Yes, his girlfriend is the owner.”

“That means Gambit’s not invited,” the plushie realized.

“Don’t worry, if we can find a human corpse, I have a way they won’t notice me.”

“If we go to the Safe Zone I can finally get some Sanity Pills!” Steve exclaimed excitedly. “Wait… Why do you need a corpse?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Tina suddenly squeezed the pillow in her hand, then smacked it into my face. A second later, her fluffy weapon evaporated into butterflies. James’ eyes widened and then he started laughing.

“What’d you do that for!?” I asked her.

“The pillow told me to,” she said.

I inspected the reward from the Dungeon and realized what she meant.

Without any hesitation, I smacked Steve in the face with my pillow and it exploded into a cloud of feathers that quickly vanished. James laughed loudly while Steve cursed up a self-censored storm of expletives like fudge, mother-father, dagnabbit, heck, and frick.

Without needing to consider it a lot, I picked ‘wakeUp’, since it had the most potential out of them all. As soon as my choice was locked in, Steve took his own pillow and swung it for my head, but I dodgerolled through him and he whiffed. As I emerged behind him, he looked torn between whether trying to hit me again or going for Tina.

“I will gut you,” she warned him.

Steve spun around and swung for me again, but I hopped out of the way. As he chased after me with the pillow, yelling at me to stop, James continued to laugh loudly.

Perhaps thanks to the infectiousness of child laughter or maybe due to our ridiculous display, the people who’d been ejected from the dungeon all seemed to light up a little. Within a minute, a full on pillow brawl was underway, while everybody laughed and shouted loudly.

I was standing atop the longboard, as we went towards the Madeville town hall. Tina was riding her neon-green serpent with James seated in front of her. The boy seemed to have opened up more, although it was clear he had lost his memories, but maybe that was for the best.

Steve was using the ability he’d gotten from smacking some random woman with his pillow, after giving up on hitting me. It was a floating couch-sized pillow wrapped in what looked like a 90’s arcade carpet, with the associated stink of old pizza, floor varnish, and cigarette ash. Printed on top it said ‘Happy Birthday, Steve!’.

The other people from the challenge dungeon were following behind us. Despite the Birthday Brat inviting some of the women onto his new ride, not a single one of them took him up on the offer.

There were very few enemies on the road to the town hall and Tina said it was because the Players here were diligent in defeating the various dungeons before they started releasing monsters. Apparently, the satyr William Twine and his raincoat-angel brother, as well as Logan and Ophelia Maximillian, had created a robust group of people that taught the weak how to fight back and earn levels.

“Just think,” Panda mused. “If you hadn’t screwed everything up, Castleburg could be like this as well.”

“There’s no way that would’ve happened,” I told him, as I rolled closer to the green serpent. “Hey Tina, is the Humanbus in this area still alive?”

“The Satyr is hunting it,” she replied cheerfully.

I frowned. I wanted to capture it and use my Safe Zone Sphere to make it into a mobile base, but right now Bee was more important. As soon as we got to the town hall, we’d find somewhere to drop off James, buy the supplies we needed, and then head out to summon the hive ship with the flare.

“We’re here,” Tina said, when we rounded the end of a street and were met with a large red brick building. Above the door it helpfully stated ‘Town Hall’.

There was just one issue. The Twine brothers hated me for killing Ophelia and Logan, so I was 100% a persona non grata in the Safe Zone.

“Time to go corpse hunting,” I said. “I need a disguise.”

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -142

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Chapter -142

I quickly stowed the Looking Glass away, while scrambling backwards until I hit one of the off-white walls of the small room with which the boy slept.

“Bastard killed Chris!” Panda exclaimed in outrage.

“I WILL EAT YOUR FLUFFY FLESH, TRICKSTER!” Logan exclaimed, his voice like a fork scraping glass.

“I think he might be talking to you,” I said to Panda, as the monster lunged forward with its sword arms.

The resemblance to Logan was basically just the silhouette, as the face itself was without eyes, nose, mouth, or anything else to identify him by. His body did seem to match the original appearance that I’d first encountered him in, but it was like he’d been cast as a glass statue, with the hair on his head stuck in place and his arms warped into long blades.

I dodgerolled through his body as he slashed for me. At the same time, Tina and Steve came into the white room. I had no idea if they’d seen what transpired from the other side or if the Venomancer had known something was wrong.

Then I recalled Nina’s cryptic words from the past: “The lost child is found in the temple, when the crestfallen hero gets his revenge.”

“You’ve gotta wake up the Dreamer!” Panda yelled to the two of them, when it looked like they’d try to join the fight.

Steve kept staring at Chris’ bisected body with a mix of sadness and fear on his face.

I put a hand to my chest and brought out my Soul Blade. A purple gummy trident appeared in the grip of my balloon gauntlet and I immediately shot myself towards the Voidspawn with a lunge of the spear.

Logan swung for me with both of his arms, but the left blade was returned to sender thanks to Reflective Shell, folding back to strike him in the shoulder.

The other blade tore through the side of my abdomen cleanly, just as the tip of my weapon struck the center of the Voidspawn’s body. Following the strike, my Soul Blade disappeared back into my chest. No matter how many times I’d already experienced the effect of ‘Damage.sleep(3000)’, it was hard to get used to the long delay.

Before the Voidspawn could strike back, I followed up my initial attack with a series of quick punches and jabs, then dodgerolled through its glass body and popped up behind it.

As soon as it began to turn, a crater was formed in the center of Logan’s chest, creating ripples of cracked glass that moved across its body, which were quickly accompanied by a series of smaller craters appearing from everywhere I’d punched.

The Voidspawn’s body exploded into a million balls of glass, plinking into the walls, bed, and the three of us. None of them hurt when they hit me, as though they weighed nothing.

“That was easy,” I muttered, while I noticed how Tina and Steve’s attempts to touch the sleeping boy were ineffectual, thanks to a protective soap bubble that surrounded him.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked me, looking away from the Dreamer. “You’re bleeding pretty badly.”

“I’m fine,” I told him.

The glass balls began to roll towards each other, before clumping together and starting to take on the shape of Logan again.

“Spoke too soon,” Panda scolded me. “Voidspawn don’t follow the rules, remember.”

“Then how the fuck am I meant to kill it?”

TICKLE…

TICKLE…

Suddenly a bunch of black baby hands appeared in the air, before wrenching open a hole.

“Hurry up and wake the damn child!” I yelled to Tina.

Her bald head sprouted neon-green fiery hair as she replied, “Only the tongue of familiarity may lick the Lost Child’s ear.”

“Eww, why did you have to phrase it like that!?” Panda exclaimed, while Arney was halfway into the small off-white chamber.

“The only familiar tongue is Chris’, since they’re brothers, but I don’t think it’s literal!” I translated.

“Fudge this!” Steve shouted, before pulling in a deep breath.

Logan finished forming, but instead of heading for me, he leapt for the boy in the bed. Nina immediately moved to defend the child, conjuring a wall of neon-green energy in front of herself. I used SPRING_HEEL to launch myself forward to intercept, because I knew she would die to the Voidspawn’s attacks.

Then a loud voice filled the room, right as Arney the Tickler had fully entered. “Steve Says: Wake the fuck up, James!”

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Challenge Complete

‘You successfully awoke the Dreamer.’

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Darkness overtook me, while a sense of falling pulled at my stomach and flared up the pain in my side.

Then, suddenly, I was back out in front of the entrance to the bedroom furniture shop titled ‘Sweet Dreams’. Tina, Steve, and half-a-dozen other people appeared on the sidewalk next to the shop as well. The last person to arrive was a small child: Chris’ brother.

A fluffy white pillow appeared in everybody’s hands. Several of the survivors slumped to the ground and started crying, but I couldn’t tell if it was because they were finally free or because they mourned the loss of their friends.

I frowned. If I’d tried to properly understand Nina’s warning, I could’ve saved my best friend Chris.

“You couldn’t have known,” Panda told me. “Also, why do you keep insisting he is your friend? The guy clearly didn’t want to join us.”

I shook my head. “I’ll honor Chris by properly killing Logan the Voidspawn next time I see him.”

“Sure, good luck with that. Also, what are you gonna do about Arney? He’s still on your trail, and I doubt it’ll be long before he figures out how to leave the Dreamscape and come here to tickle you.”

“Maybe he’ll die permanently if I kill him in the real world,” I theorized.

Tina and Steve came over with Chris’ little brother. The Venomancer was holding James by the hand, while he just looked around in confusion.

“I have received the CPS Flare,” Tina told me, handing me the item that was rewarded when someone interacted with a Wayward Minor.

I took it from her and said, “Let’s not waste any more time. Bee is waiting for us.”

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F-tier Assasin - Chapter 10

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I'm struggling a bit with writing this story lately because I'm super busy with editing and school, so the releases will be less frequent as a result. I'm also considering when I want to publish this story next year. I may end up investing more time into Loopshard and continue this in the background.

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Chapter 10

The Craft district wasn’t trying to be a quaint or charming place, and yet it was unintentionally the most interesting-looking district in the western half of Eventide. Every workshop was distinctly shaped to its purpose, but, the lack of cohesion or planning behind where each of them were placed, meant that every zigzagging street was like a walk through a bizarre gallery depicting individual expression.

There was a group of Seamsters who’d built a cottage-like two-storey out of red bricks and slapped a slanted thatch roof on top, for seemingly no other reason than the fact that they thought it would inspire their homely craft. Its neighbour was a Glassblower with a stocky and thick stone brick of a shop, from within which the assistants helping their master to construct elaborate shapes were visible through its barn door and the glow of a large furnace spilled out onto the street..

While Ashlan clung to the shadows to avoid being noticed, he passed by a simple one-storey seemingly run by a Fletcher, who had an outdoor area for shaving down sticks and tying feathers to the ends of them, as well as attaching arrowheads of various kinds. Next to it was a Carpenter, whose hand-cranked saws and various tools produced a lot of noise, despite the fact that it was all done within a closed-off workshop. Strangely, there was no Bowyer in sight, which would’ve made a lot of sense, but such lack of organisation was iconic of the Craft district.

Dad’s workshop should be around here somewhere.

Tanning leather was a foul-smelling process, but some ingenious Magical Artificer had in the past conjured a purifying Artefact, which allowed the Tanners to move their work into the city without stinking up entire districts. Ashlan would’ve loved to know how it worked, since his father hardly ever gave off the stink of his unfortunate Profession. However, all Tanners who worked for the large workshop utilising this Artefact were contracted to secrecy. From what he could piece together, the secrecy had little to do with it being dangerous and was more due to the fact that a lot of other nations had expressed interest in the Artefact. They even had their own little contingency of C-tier Bodyguards to defend the workshop.

No wonder, when they produce nearly all leather within Eventide.

Ashlan reached a roundabout with a family of statues in the centre and carriages, carts, and horses moving through it as though they had no fear of crashing into one another. There was a Jeweller opposite the road from him and in front of its metal-braced wooden door stood either a Brawler or a Protector.

Must be a Low-Ranked guy running it, he mused.

Despite the district’s name, not all crafting-based Professions resided in the Craft district. Jewellers of C-tier or higher usually set up in Goldentide district, along with Goldsmiths, since the members of the Goldentide Dynasty were fond of expensive accessories and always wanted more than what their contracted craftsmen could produce. Smiths, Armourers, Tinkerers, and Weaponsmiths generally went to the Anvil district north of Craft; Shipwrights and Sailmakers tended to work in White Coast or Oceanview; and Architects and Builders handled most of the city planning in the Architect district on the western fringe of Eventide.

Some crafting Professions, like Cook, Baker, and Magical Artificer were rarely confined to just one district, since people didn’t want to travel far to get food or bread, and Artificers were so rare and powerful that they always ended up within an influential family’s castle or mansion.

Ashlan pushed the thoughts from his mind, as he looked around at the three roads he could take from here.

System, which direction is the Moongazing Art workshop?

[Take the path to your left and then follow the second right turn. It is next to a fruit Merchant.]

You can tell me the direction to his workshop, but not to his actual location? Why? Isn’t that just making things unnecessarily difficult?

[I can only pinpoint the location of an Assignment who is currently undertaking a Contract. This target has rejected all System Contracts and has not accepted any Private Contracts either.]

Wait, I’m not just killing some guy who refuses to work, right?

[Mikkel Bramblethorn is still working, but he is taking all commissions outside of the System’s oversight. He is hiding his patrons for a reason that is deemed nefarious. This belief is further reinforced by his usage of an Unsanctioned Artefact.]

Outside the System’s oversight… So he’s imitating an Unassignable?

[In essence, yes. However, Unassignable are rarely deemed a threat.]

Ashlan put his hand to his mouth while thinking.

He’d heard of people undertaking work without going through the System for Contracts. It was deemed foolish, since there were no safeguards, but lack of protections was often the point. Since the System kept an eye on all Contracts, it would catch on to anything dangerous and often alert Sentinels or others to deal with it. For such a God-like entity, being kept in the dark was clearly a sign of maliciousness, but he wasn’t sure if that assessment was correct. After all, he’d operated in exactly the same way when helping Unassignable find work.

I will have a look for myself, he decided.

After following the directions he’d been given, he came to a tall one-storey building made from white-painted bricks and which had an old wooden fence running around its perimeter. Past the fence was a small garden with a single chair next to some flower bushes and a tiny pond. The garden continued around the entire workshop, but it looked quite sparse and minimalistic, with just a few plants, bushes, and trees.

The building was maybe six metres tall and the side facing the east had six tall windows, which were stacked three on the bottom and three on top. Its front door was a solid chunk of red-painted wood and there was a snaking series of stones from the fence gate to the doorway. The fence and gate were painted white like the building, though the colours were faded and worn-down by the sun’s light.

The neighbouring building was a Merchant with a small shop full of shelves of fruit, as well as two stands right outside the door. Ashlan went past the tall house with the fence and walked up to one of the stands, letting the sunlight wash over him as he grabbed a persimmon and entered the store. There weren’t any other customers around, so his sudden appearance out of nowhere went unnoticed.

“I’ll have this,” he said, putting the fruit down in front of a woman leant back in a chair behind a small table serving as the counter. The woman was reading a dog-eared book with a sun-bleached cover.

“I was just getting to a good part,” she muttered, before closing the book and looking at the persimmon. “Is this all you want?”

She looks fairly young, he thought to himself. Her dark-brown hair was cropped to just above her shoulders and she had a strong tan, as well as brown eyes. Her lips seemed naturally inclined into a smirk and she wore a blue blouse and dark shorts, both of which looked pricey, though they were threadbare and old.

Wearing hand-me-downs and only owns one book from the looks of it. She seems like a D-tier Merchant with a useful Skill for preserving the freshness of foodstuffs. After all, those stands outside are right in the sun, but there wasn’t a single overripe or rotten fruit.

“Just the persimmon, yep.”

“Eight silvers,” she stated with a sigh.

Maybe C-tier, actually. She runs this store alone and it can’t have been cheap. Makes me think she uses her Skill to help other Merchants like those in the Faraway Market, while kicking back and taking a cut. Plus, she’s got the trademark C-tier laziness about her and her fruit is expensive.

Ashlan suppressed a frown as he brought out a ten-silver coin. It felt a waste to pay that much for a single fruit.

“Do you know if the next-door workshop is the one called Moongazing Art?”

“That’s right,” she confirmed, before immediately adding, “You don’t look like Mikkel’s usual clients though.”

“Why not?” he wondered.

Her natural smirk widened, before she gestured to his clothes.

“You look like one of the bums from Northside.”

I am one of said bums…

But what about your own damn clothes!?

Ashlan nodded, only retorting to her comment in his mind.

Then she added, “And you’re too lanky and young. Plus, you’re here alone. Everyone who visits him always has a bodyguard.”

“My guy’s just waiting outside.”

The Merchant craned her neck to look around Ashlan.

“I don’t see him,” she replied, clearly sceptical of his lie.

“That’s kind of the point.”

“Uhuh.”

Ashlan snatched the persimmon and placed the coin down in front of her, before turning around and heading for the exit.

“What about your change?” the woman called.

“Don’t worry, I’m rich,” he retorted with a grin.

As soon as he was outside, he found a shadow and activated Lurk.

A moment later the Merchant came to the doorway and leaned out into the sunlight.

“What the hell,” she muttered, looking around and seeing no trace of him.

Meanwhile, he was standing only three metres away in the shadow of one of the stalls. She looked around for a few seconds longer, before muttering something under her breath and returning to her chair and book.

Ashlan crouched down and took a bite out of his fruit. It had been a good idea to visit the store first. He couldn’t tell if the System had specifically mentioned it as a hint or not, but he now at least had an idea of the kind of people who went to his target to commission art.

That in itself is nothing suspicious. Most people can’t afford art, but those who can probably wouldn’t traverse the city without some kind of escort.

But why come here to see a D-tier Painter?

That part makes no sense to me.

Ashlan sat down and decided to watch the door of Mikkel Bramblethorn’s workshop from the shadow behind the fruit stall.

Two hours later, a muscular man wearing a simple-but-expensive black shirt with a high collar, dark-grey dress pants, and polished black leather shoes, arrived in front of Moongazing Art on a brown horse with an understated red-brown saddle, bridle and reins.

This guy screams money.

He left his horse in front of the fence, while walking up to the red door of the white building, holding a flat square box of stone that was wrapped with a simple bit of rope to make it easy to carry.

After knocking on the door twice, pausing, and then knocking three more times, it opened and a pale face was briefly visible to Ashlan, before Mister Black entered the workshop. The door slammed shut behind him.

Alright, maybe the System is actually on to something…

As the afternoon wore on and the shadows lengthened, Ashlan took another persimmon from the stand he leant up against, while watching the Painter’s workshop. His vantage point wasn’t amazing, since he was on the western side of the building and could see only its wall and part of the entrance.

This Merchant really is unmotivated, he thought absentmindedly, while biting into the fruit. She hadn’t once gone outside to check her wares and he felt sure that his visit wouldn’t be the first time fruit was stolen.

But damn, the taste is great. What a waste of talent…

The sun was preparing the final leg of its journey across the sky. Within the hour it’d sink down behind the city wall and cast Eventide in darkness.

Mister Black’s horse was waiting diligently by the fence, seemingly unphased by standing around for hours without food and water.

Then it suddenly began to stir and Ashlan’s eyes instinctively shot to the red door, which opened and let out the black-clad man. The pale face appeared in the doorway again, watching as his guest left the fenced-off garden, before the door was slammed shut.

He didn’t bring anything with him from the workshop. I wonder why. Maybe he’s just visiting to have his portrait made? But what’s with the weird box?

Anyway, now that his visitor is gone, it’s time for me to find a way inside his shop to figure out how I’ll do this.

Ashlan waited for Mister Black to ride off, before quickly grabbing a pear and an apple from the stand. He put the fruits into his belt bag and rearranged the ones on the stall to hide that anything had been stolen.

Instead of going through the gate, Ashlan hopped over the old wooden fence and moved through the small garden to the tall white house.

How should I go about entering? he wondered, while moving around the building and sticking to the shadows cast by the walls and plants.

If I knock on the door like Mister Black, that will definitely raise suspicion and might not even provide me a good opening to enter.

But what if I make a small distraction in the garden?

Ashlan continued around the building. The garden wasn’t anything spectacular, but it seemed like the perfect place for someone perpetually cooped-up inside to take a quick stroll through whenever they got restless. As he reached the eastern side of the building and saw the large windows set into the wall, he noticed how it overlooked the little pond, bushes, and chair.

Through the windows, Ashlan could see a large wooden easel with a big canvas on it. In front of it was the Painter, Mikkel Bramblethorn. The ancestors of the Bramblethorn family hailed from Witchfell, where people were pale of skin and seemingly-incapable of developing a tan. That lineage had long been diluted through the family marrying off its children to people from Eventide. However, it was on proud display in the Painter’s appearance.

He was as pale as the paint of his house and his lips were a weak red that looked almost beige. His eyes were like two pieces of coal and his hair was black, except for the tips which were amber-brown. Unlike his previous visitor, Mikkel was barefoot and wore shabby clothes, the original colour of which were obscured behind paint spatters that must’ve built up over many years.

Ashlan didn’t know any Painters, but he thought for sure they were more refined than this man. But one thing was immediately clear to him: Mikkel Bramblethorn lived only for his craft. The way his black eyes were locked onto the canvas, while his arm moved with deft strokes of his brush, was like an obsessed madman. His body, which was frail and thin, moved with passion and enthusiasm as he worked.

Maybe I won’t be able to get him to open the door for me, Ashlan considered.

Then he had a realisation.

He called his workshop Moongazing Art for a reason. After all, the windows are pointing towards where the sun will rise. But the moon also rises in the east. And this garden and the chair, I think it all serves the purpose of watching the moon at night.

Ashlan immediately went over and laid the chair down on its side.

Even if he’s too focused now, he will notice this when he inevitably stops to stare at the moon. I’m sure the sight will drive him to leave his house.

And when he comes to fix it, I can kill him.

Or well…

That is a strategy.

I think I will continue to observe.

It’s no doubt best to find the Unsanctioned Artefact first, if he has it hidden away somewhere I can’t find it.

And how I’ll kill him remains up in the air for now. If I just stab him in the neck with my dagger, it’ll be impossible to claim the additional reward of making it look like an accident. Not to mention, I might bring the wrath of his family down on me.

Yeah… Observing is the best option for now.

After coming up with his plan, Ashlan sat down in the shadow of a small tree and its canopy. From here, he could watch the pond and chair, as well as the window into the workshop.

This will take a while, he realised.

He pulled out the pear he’d stolen and took a bite.

Afternoon became evening, which then became night, before the moon’s light peeked above the distant walls of Eventide, setting a silver tint to every part of the city that wasn’t lit up with torches. This particular part of the Craft district was left fairly-dark, with hardly any light from any of the nearby buildings.

Opposite where the Merchant had a fruit shop and past the fence near where Ashlan lurked, was a Wainwright. The workshop had been closed all day and even at night there was no one inside the simple one-storey building. On the other side of the street to the south was a large Furrier’s workshop and though there was a warm glow coming out through its small windows, it was not enough to overpower the moon. Lastly, on its northern side lay a Brewery, which was a two-storey dark block of stone, with just a smoking chimney to show that there was activity within. Basically, the area was perfect for someone who liked to let the moon’s light wash over them.

I wonder if that’s something the System would mark as troubling.

Most people compared the System with the light of the sun, as it had pulled humans out of the darkness of the past, figuratively and literally, if the stories were to be believed. Nations and cities had earnt their names during this Dark Age, or so the myths explained. It was why Eventide was such an ill-fitting name for the city and nation he lived in, and why so many of the old families had evil-sounding and sinister names.

To people, who believed that the System was the saviour of all mankind and that its bestowal of Assignments was bringing light to their lives, it meant that the moon naturally became associated with the darkness of the past. To those who listened to the sermons of the Chaplains, the comparison of the moon and evil was an obvious thing. It was often said that it shone with a false light as though to tempt people into sin.

System, is the moon a symbol of evil?

[To some, it is perceived as a dark guide.]

Was this Painter made a target because he enjoys moonlight?

[No.]

Suddenly the sound of a door caught Ashlan’s ear. His eyes flicked to the large windows and he saw that Mikkel Bramblethorn had abandoned his easel.

With hurried steps, the Painter came around the building, walking barefoot through the grass.

“Why are you lying down?” he muttered, as he came over to the chair Ashlan had knocked over.

Mikkel looked around with a crazed and frantic gaze. As it passed over where he was lurking, Ashlan let out a small sigh of relief. He was only a few metres away and utterly invisible to the man, which made his work much easier going forward.

After setting the chair back upright, the Painter sat down and fixed his stare on the moon.

“You’ve come to visit me again, my muse?”

Alright, this guy is clearly not all there…

Ashlan slinked out of the tree’s shadow and into the one created by the northern wall. But as he moved briefly through the moonlight, he realised that it did not dispel his Lurk like sunlight would.

Convenient, he thought, finding himself unable to suppress a grin.

The more he learnt about his Skill, the less worried he was about his F-tier Assignment. After all, it seemed to work against almost anyone, so long as they didn’t have spotting Skills like those of a Hunter, Archer, or Tracker.

Ashlan quickly hurried to the door of the workshop. He slowly depressed the metal door handle, worried that it might not have been left unlocked if the Painter was paranoid. But those worries were washed away when it opened for him. Without releasing the handle, he pulled the door open just enough to squeeze inside, then gripped the handle on the other side and used it to close the door, before carefully releasing the pressure on it.

Phew…

Ashlan noticed a stink.

What is that smell?

He snuck through the interior lit only by small candles, before entering the main room, which was six metres from floor to ceiling. Within, easels of varying sizes filled every available bit of floor and dozens of paintings were in the middle of being made, with the large easel in the back showing a massive canvas.

A powerful sense of dread gripped Ashlan as he beheld what it was depicting. Then he looked out through the windows and saw that the chair by the pond was empty.

The sound of the door opening sent him scrambling for somewhere dark to hide. After a few frantic seconds, he ended up in an unlit corner of the tall room as Mikkel Bramblethorn entered. The Painter shambled towards his large canvas and picked up his brush to continue adding details to it.

Upon the frame was the most horrific sight Ashlan had ever seen. Most disturbing was the fact that parts of it were moving and screaming silently.

[This is the work of an Unsanctioned Artefact.]

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I'm struggling a bit with writing this story lately because I'm super busy with editing and school, so the releases will be less frequent as a result. I'm also considering when I want to publish this story next year. I may end up investing more time into Loopshard and continue this in the background.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -141

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Chapter -141

I wiped the blood and viscera off my hands, then turned around to give a thumbs-up to Steve.

“Good job, buddy! You were actually useful for once!”

“Imagine that power in the hands of a villain,” Panda muttered.

“Fairly sure he was heading in that direction, given how he was collecting his own little harem before running into us at the mall,” I replied.

Steve’s disturbing brainwash ability had worn off, and the people that’d moved to the other end of the chamber looked around in confusion, disgust, and fear. Chris broke from their group and came over to where Tina and I was standing. Steve joined us as well.

“Why did you kill those people?” Chris asked, sounding less concerned about them and more focused on what he could do to avoid their fate.

“They were Skinstealers,” I told him. His eye twitched slightly, but he didn’t say anything back.

“Tell him about the Soul Compass,” Panda urged.

“Oh, right.” I went through my inventory and brought out the Soul Compass. “You can borrow this.”

Chris grabbed the wooden box. “Inspect,” he said.

His eyes widened as he looked through the information, then he lifted the compass up to his mouth and said, “James Anderson.”

The Soul Compass immediately started spinning, before locking in on a direction. Without a word, Chris immediately found the nearest exit out of the chamber.

“Let’s go,” I told the others, and we quickly followed after him.

“Don’t you think there’s a reason they were all hiding here?” Steve asked, worried.

“Given that the previous two areas had monsters in them, it’s all but certain there’s something here too,” Panda replied. “Perhaps the chamber everyone landed in was safe and that’s why they stayed, but who knows?”

“What about that weird thing with the hands and red face?” he continued.

“I blew up the door, so it can’t follow us here,” I told him.

“Blew up the door?”

“Yeah, I doubt it’ll be a permanent roadblock,” Panda remarked negatively.

“I like tickles,” Tina said.

We followed after Chris, as the Soul Compass led him to his brother, moving through corridors with the same mustard-yellow wallpaper and soggy carpeted floors. Each of our steps produced a disgusting squelch and the nasty liquid was soaking into my Schmonic Boots, which had already had a thorough soaking in the Metro Train’s blood.

Corridors led to chambers, which then branched into five different new corridors, which themselves led to new chambers, and so on. Weirdly though, no matter how many corridors and chambers we entered, there were always minor differences. A few corridors were narrow, some were maze-like with false ends, and others had pillars down the middle. The chambers were sometimes large like the first one we’d arrived in, some had big pillars spaced evenly throughout, others had square holes in the floor that led to an impenetrable darkness below, and several were shaped like horseshoes or half-moons.

“I swear I’ve seen this place before,” Steve kept muttering.

Although I hated to agree with him, I felt the same way. There was just something eerily-familiar about the place. The fact that there were no windows, doors, or furniture, also just unsettled me in a way I hadn’t really experienced before. Somehow, it reminded me of the Pool Rooms, although perhaps that was just because my feet were wet.

We came to a large hallway chamber which stretched out in front of us for what looked like two miles, with darkness down at the far end. There were pillars running along the sides near to the walls, which was odd. There were also two people leaning against the pillars, as though waiting for us.

“I don’t see him…” Chris muttered. The Compass in his hands was pointing down to the end of the long hallway.

“Why are there people here?” Steve asked.

“They aren’t people,” Tina said seriously.

I pulled out my Looking Glass and scanned them.

“Yep, they’re Skinstealers as well.”

Before either Tina or me could move a muscle, Steve immediately ran forward. He pointed a finger at Johan and yelled, “Birthday Piñata!”

The guy, who’d been leaning against one of the pillars, immediately became all wrapped-up in colorful papier-mâché. At the same time, a metal bat appeared in Steve’s hand and he pulled it back behind his head, while thundering forward with a shout.

Clonk!

As his bat struck the wrapped-up Johan, his head detached from his neck and flew several feet away, while spilling out various types of candy, some of which seemed similar to what Bee and I had looted from the Scion.

“Damn, didn’t know he had it in him,” I muttered.

Then Lisa, who was standing nearby, unzipped down the middle to reveal a mouth full of teeth. Before she could lunge at the unawares Steve, Chris appeared in the air above her, landing with both his daggers into her back, before pulling them down and tearing open huge gouges.

I was moving towards them at the same time, but Tina was faster, flinging her arm out to send a neon serpent into the front of Not-Lisa, pumping her full of poison while Chris repeatedly stabbed her in the back.

“He’s living up to his Class title,” Panda remarked drily.

By the time I was even close enough to do anything, Steve had beaten the human piñata into something that barely resembled a human shape and scattered candy everywhere, while Chris had finished off the Skinstealer.

“Have these things been hanging around all this time?” Chris asked, as he wiped the blood off his weapons.

“Since before the Great Game even,” I told him.

Tina nodded, while Steve just shook his head.

“Can I have one of those blue candies?” Panda asked.

Steve bent down to pick one up, before handing it to the plushie.

Chris stared at the interaction with his mouth hanging open.

“What?” I asked him.

“Since when was there a talking teddy-bear on your shoulder? And how is it eating??”

“Uh oh, he’s one of us now,” Steve remarked. “We really need to find some Sanity Pills…”

“I just got an achievement,” he announced. “‘Oh God the Voices, Make Them Stop!’ it’s called…”

Steve patted him on the shoulder, as though to say “Welcome to the club”.

“Insanity gain from exposure to Skinstealers is no joke,” Panda noted. “Although, if we’re being real here, it’s really all Gambit’s fault for using the Whistle.”

I snatched the Soul Compass out of Chris’ hands and saw that it still pointed down towards the end of the long hallway. “Come on. We’ve wasted enough time down here.”

TICKLE…

“Ah shit. Let’s go!”

The four of us ran down towards the dark end, while the sound of laughter echoed across the corridors and chambers we’d already passed through.

“All those other Players are screwed, right?” Chris asked. He wasn’t laughing this time, but he was smiling, as were the rest of us.

At the end of the long hallway, the compass suddenly pointed to the left and I turned to see another door standing there in-between two pillars. The frame was painted baby-blue.

“Another door!?” Steve exclaimed.

“Don’t be dramatic, let’s just go through before Mr. Hands catches us,” Panda told him.

I cringed at the reference, but then took the initiative and pulled open the door. Beyond it was an off-white room with a single bed inside, upon which lay a sleeping blonde-haired boy.

“James!” Chris exclaimed and ran through.

I followed right after him.

As we came into the room, a wind brushed my hair and face, before Chris was cut in half in front of my eyes. I immediately crouched to trigger SPRING_HEEL and shoot myself backwards, just as the massive glass blade that’d cut the Backstabber slashed for my neck.

I slid along the floor on my back and saw my attacker as he loped towards me like a beast.

It was Logan.

-----------------------------

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

TASTE-TEST: Loopshard - Chapter One

This is a taste-test of a story I've been working on for the last two weeks, after getting inspired by the story "Master Hunter K" and all the things I felt it could've done better ^-^' that probably sounds very pretentious, but if you read that story, you'll know that it has a great story with a flawed presentation.

In reality, there isn't actually a lot of similarities between that story and this one, but it was the impetus for getting me here.

Anyway, this is a pretty damn long chapter one (~8000 words, lol). The actual 'gimmick' of the story won't hit until chapter three, but let me know what you think about this and the cover I put together.

Just finished editing this and ho boy there were a lot of errors ^-^' also did a slight bit of reformatting of the text boxes and such. Anyway! It's now legible English (promise).

Made some minor formatting changes and altered the cover slightly (Nov 13th).

---Next chapter----

-----------------------------

Chapter One

Adam yawned as he made it to the bakery. It was about 9 AM on a chilly autumn Saturday. While he’d normally still be huddled up in his bed and fast asleep, he was on a mission this morning. Sharon had brought a box of croissants to the office on Wednesday and ever since then he’d been unable to get the taste out of his mind.

Although he’d tried to forget about them on Thursday, he’d eventually caved in and asked her where he could buy them. She’d talked about the bakery, which he was now standing in front of, for twenty minutes, clearly eager to share the knowledge about its delicious baked goods. However, she’d warned him that the fight for the croissants was fierce and that, no matter how many were made every morning, they were always gone by 10 AM.

Adam had tried to buy them yesterday before his commute to work, but, at 7 in the morning, the line had been out the door and down the street.

Who even has time to stand in line for croissants? he’d thought to himself at the time. And yet, he understood them. After all, here he was, back with a vengeance and a hunger for those magical pastries.

There was a quaint little golden bell attached to the door, which chimed as he pulled it open and entered. Although there was a great view of the various baked goods from outside through the large window, the interior was so much better, as the smell of bakery flooded his nose and made his mouth water with longing.

The counter was arranged in an L shape and there was a large display case with muffins, cookies, donuts, cakes, and a few of those croissants he’d been thinking about nonstop. Ahead of him were three people standing in line and he quickly went to join it, just as someone else came through the door.

I hope no one buys those last few croissants before it’s my turn...

Adam had a strange relationship with sweets and treats. After moving out at eighteen, he’d wound up in a cycle of junk food and snacks, ending up weighing three-hundred pounds by the age of twenty-two. Then, when he reached twenty-five, he’d gotten his shit together and gone on a health kick, managing to drop down to about two-hundred pounds, with almost all the excess weight being muscle. But still, he sometimes got these intense cravings for treats, and Sharon was a damn enabler.

The front of the line moved as someone finished their transaction. The number of croissants had gone down to six and there were still two more people in front of him.

If we each buy two, then we won’t have to fight outside in the parking lot.

Adam’s eyes were glued to the display case, while the customer droned on about what she wanted. He felt a spike of dread as the woman mentioned the croissants, but there were still five left by the time she was done buying her breakfast.

As he took a step forward, one person away from getting his hands on those delectable pastries, he felt a quake travel through his body and down his legs. He thought it was perhaps his stomach growling in longing, but then he noticed how the guy in front of him and the female clerk were glancing around weirdly.

“Did you all feel that?” asked the guy who stood behind him in the line.

Another quake followed, but this time it was from the floor. They were all tilted sideways, but none of the baskets of bread, cakes, cookies, or magical croissants seemed to move even an inch.

“An earthquake? Here??” exclaimed the clerk out loud in surprise.

A strange floating box appeared in front of Adam, with identical copies popping up near the other three people in the bakery. It was spinning lazily and changing shapes, as though some fourth-dimensional entity.

A tesseract?

It had a glossy black surface and was about the size of his fist. Black smoke fell from its bottom and onto the floor, coiling up around his legs. At the same time, his surroundings seemed to narrow into shadows, with the walls disappearing, followed by the display counter of pastries and sweets, and then the other people.

Just like that, Adam was somewhere else, with the croissants and other people gone.

“What the fuck just happened?” he wondered out loud.

Is this the moment I realise I never woke up when my alarm went off?

Am I still dreaming?

He reached out and poked the tesseract. Another quake moved through his body.

Then an eye opened in the middle of the spinning entity.

[Salutations Player ‘Adam Fischer’. You have been selected to take part in the Trials of Defiance to represent your planet.]

“Selected?”

[You have been deemed eligible due to your maturity and physique.]

“I’m flattered, but I actually have an appointment in 40 minutes.”

[It is not possible to decline your invitation to the Trials. As an incentive for your participation, we have located your ineligible relatives and placed them in temporary holding. Their fates are now tied to yours. Should you refuse to participate, they will perish and you will die. Should you end up dying in the Trials of Defiance, they will perish as well.]

At the tesseract’s words, transparent holograms of Adam’s father, grandmother, and niece appeared around him. They couldn’t see him, but they were looking around in fear and confusion. His sister, brother-in-law, aunt, and uncles were not present however, perhaps because they’d also been selected.

“What the fuck…”

[Do your best for the sake of your family and all of humanity. Should you or any other Player complete the Trials, humanity will be spared from extermination.]

“Why are you doing this?”

The tesseract ignored him and released a pulse that flowed through his surroundings, brushing away the dark shadows and transporting him somewhere new. Text appeared in front of his face as the surroundings changed.

< < Now Entering > >

< The Magical Forest >

< 5 Waves >

Adam looked around, he was standing in the clearing of a vibrant and green forest, with a seemingly-impenetrable wall of trees ringed around him, and a single large tree in the middle. Moss covered the understory, the sky was a nice shade of blue with fluffy clouds, and peaceful birdsong filled the air.

The tesseract floated out in front of him, before unfolding in a strange way that seemed to drag additional mass out of a fourth dimension, constructing a metallic stand upon which hovered five objects. Unlike the holograms of his family, these things were real, as far as he could tell.

His options were: a pair of metallic gloves; a bow; a sword and a shield; a staff with a stone at the end; and a large sword. Three of the weapons had a faint white glow, while two let off green light.

[Before we proceed, you must select a Weapon Type.]

“But I don’t know what is happening! You’ve got to give me more than that to go off of, if you want me to risk my life!”

[Failure to select a Weapon Type within 60 seconds will default you to the Weapon Type ‘Fool’.]

“Can you at least tell me what they do?”

< < Weapon Types Available > >

< Brawler (Uncommon) >

< Archer (Common) >

< Defender (Common) >

< Spellcaster (Uncommon) >

< Warrior (Common) >

“And what do they do??”

[Would you like me to repeat the Weapon Types?]

“No, you dumb box!”

He let out a frustrated yell, before trying to think through the choices.

I guess Brawler would make the most sense, since I take boxing lessons once a week. But, if I’m going to be fighting, then a shield would probably be the safest choice. A bow or spell-staff may both be okay, but I’ve got no idea how they work. The two-handed sword is probably too heavy for me to use effectively…

[10 seconds remaining.]

“Fuck you! Don’t rush me!”

[9… 8…]

Adam ran over and immediately grabbed the floating sword and shield. The blade was made from simple iron and had a leather grip that felt comfortable, with a simple rectangular bit of iron as the crossguard. The shield was bowl-shaped wood, with two horizontal iron braces on the front and another all around its edge, and it could strap to his forearm using two clasps. It looked like it was a repurposed beer barrel.

As soon as he picked them up, they automatically appeared in his hand and on his arm. A scabbard also materialised on his left hip, attached to his belt. Strangely, an innate understanding of how to wield the weapons flowed into his mind as soon as he held them.

Perhaps I should’ve selected the bow instead, he considered.

Right on the heels of that newfound understanding came two text pop-ups.

< < Weapon Type Selected > >

< Sword & Shield >

< Common >

< Level 0 >

< Upgrades >

< — — — >

< < Player Status > >

< Adam Fischer >

< Defender >

< Level 0 >

< Stats >

< Health — 200 >

< Stamina — 100 >

< Mana — 0 >

< Damage — 75% >

< Defence — 150% >

< Speed — 100% >

< Upgrades >

< — — — >

“What the hell does all that mean?”

Instead of an answer, the tesseract folded itself back into a floating box, taking away the other options, before a new announcement appeared.

< < Wave One > >

< 60-Second Timer >

From the nearby wall of trees, a single transparent-blue blob squeezed itself through the tightly-packed trunks, before bouncing its way towards him. It was about the height of a normal housecat, but as it hopped across the clearing, he noticed that the moss it touched was dissolved as though by acid, with the remaining bits charred black. Within its jelly-like body was a single spherical stone.

“Wait, am I in a fucking videogame?”

[This is not a simulation. Death is permanent and this enemy is trying its hardest to kill you. If it succeeds, it will dissolve your flesh and feast on your corpse.]

[Failure to slay the enemy within 60 seconds will lead to Wave Two triggering.]

Adam gritted his teeth. He hated tight deadlines like this, but he predicted that the following Wave would involve more than a single slime. Stacking Waves together would no doubt lead to him being overrun. With no other choice, he lifted the shield in front of himself and charged forward.

He swung the iron sword in a downward chop, but, despite his newfound understanding of how his chosen weapon worked, he lacked the fundamental skill and muscle memory to utilise it flawlessly. Instead of cutting through the centre of the blue slime, his blade veered off half-way through and ended up just cutting off about two-thirds of its mass. Where the clump fell to the ground, it began to dissolve into a puddle, while decomposing the grass and soil beneath.

The slime bounded forward and he raised his shield to defend himself. On impact, his whole body was pushed back a full step and a numbness flowed through his arm briefly. A chemical burning smell filled his nose and as he disengaged from the creature, he saw that the front of his shield was turned black where it’d struck.

“Guess I can’t rely on this shield to protect me forever,” he muttered. Fortunately, the slime’s acid seemed incapable of affecting metal.

The slime jumped forward again, but this time he sidestepped its attack, while swinging his blade horizontally through its body. Although his aim wasn’t perfect, the edge of his sword still managed to slice through the core in its centre.

With a pop, the slime exploded and he quickly covered his face and torso with the shield, as its dissolving body rained down around him. A glop of its jelly flesh hit his right thigh, immediately eating through the fabric of his grey jeans and burning his skin before evaporating.

“Ow! Fuck, that hurts!”

< < Wave One Complete > >

< Choose your Upgrade >

The tesseract floated out in front of Adam and unfolded itself into a podium with three holograms appearing in the air above. Each was a white symbol, but they depicted different things: the first looked like a sword swinging; the second was like a shield growing; and the third was a fist with a spiked aura. Text overlayed each of the three symbols:

< < Upgrades Available > >

< Sword Speed-Up (Common) — Increases sword swing speed by 10% >

< Shield Growth (Common) — Increases shield size by 15% >

< Damage (Common) — Increases all damage by 5% >

[You have 30 seconds to pick an Upgrade. Failure to decide will forfeit your choice and none will be selected.]

[You currently have 0 Rerolls.]

“It’s really hard to make informed decisions when you hurry me along like this! And what’s a ‘Reroll’?”

[Rerolls allow you to scramble the options available to you, potentially unlocking different Upgrades that you might prefer. You currently have 0 Rerolls.]

“How do I get Rerolls?”

[The easiest way to acquire Rerolls is by purchasing them at the Interim Island.]

[15 seconds remaining before Wave Two begins.]

He groaned in annoyance at the constant rush. “Fine!”

Sword speed boost, shield growth, or a damage increase… I guess the shield makes the most sense?

He reached out and touched the middle option.

< < Upgrade Selected > >

< Shield Growth (Common) >

Adam’s wooden shield grew outward, increasing its diameter from about 1.5 metres to what he guessed was about 1.7.

Was that actually a good choice? he wondered.

< < Wave Two > >

< 60-Second Timer >

It was impossible for him to think a lot about his options when the Trial didn’t wait for him. He was always someone who preferred sleeping on big decisions, since impulsive choices had always betrayed him in the past.

Two transparent-blue slimes squeezed out of the forest wall of the clearing on the opposite side from where the first had appeared. Adam didn’t waste a moment and charged straight for them, with his sword lifted in the air and the shield in front of his torso.

The slimes were identical, so he just went for the right one first, side-stepping its simple attack and swinging his blade through its core and jelly flesh.

As it exploded, he backpedalled several steps and managed to catch all the droplets on his shield rather than his body.

Maybe cutting through the core in that way is why the explosion is so violent, he considered.

With one remaining slime and most of his time yet remaining, he decided to experiment, since the death throes of the creatures were arguably more dangerous than their normal attacks.

The slime jumped towards him, but, instead of side-stepping, he moved into the attack, using his shield to push it back. Though the slimes had no eyes or heads, it still seemed they had a ‘top’, as the slime tumbled back and landed upside-down, momentarily unable to move.

Adam stepped forward and carefully aimed a stab directly through the thinnest part of its body and into the core. He felt a weak resistance as the tip of his sword dug into the stone, but after hurriedly retracting his blade and backing up, he saw that his guess was correct. The explosion from the precise stab shot out in a single stream through the wound, rather than a large area. Although, the pressure was higher, so the stream of corrosive fluid flew further.

At least it’s easier to avoid this way. If I can stick to bashing and stabbing tactics, this should be fine.

He looked at the front of his shield. There was a bigger burn-mark on it now, though it was still structurally sound.

Yeah, this might just be a winning strategy.

< < Wave Two Complete > >

< Choose your Upgrade >

The tesseract flew over and created the podium again, although this time one of the choices had a green symbol. The green symbol depicted a sword getting longer; the middle symbol was a shield with spikes on it; and the last was a shoe with wings.

< < Upgrades Available > >

< Sword Growth (Uncommon) — Increases sword length by 30% >

< Thorny Shield (Common) — Reflects 5% of blocked damage >

< Movement (Common) — Increases movement speed by 5% >

All of them are good this time.

After a few seconds of deliberation, he made his choice, but before he picked it, he asked the reality-defying box a question.

“Tesseract, what are you? How do you have these powers?”

[This vessel is but one of the All-Seeing System’s many eyes. Through its benediction, I wield a fraction of its Authority.]

“There’s one for each person like me?”

[Yes.]

[You have 15 seconds left to pick an upgrade.]

“What should I call you?”

[You may call me whatever you like.]

“‘Shitbox’ it is, then.”

[10 seconds remaining.]

Adam walked over and touched the green symbol for the uncommon upgrade.

< < Upgrade Selected > >

< Sword Growth (Uncommon) >

Adam’s sword grew to be about the length of his arm, but its point of balance shifted towards the simple crossguard and the weight also increased. It seemed that each upgrade had unspoken demerits, as increased weight meant that his swings would be slower. The size increase to his shield hadn’t noticeably altered the weight though, but that was perhaps due to it being made of wood.

“When I’m done with these slimes, do I get to go home?”

[No. If you complete this Stage, you will be transported to the Interim Island.]

“What’s that?”

Shitbox did not reply, as the next Wave began.

< < Wave Three > >

< 90-Second Timer >

[During Waves you may take damage. Although you can purchase consumable health regeneration after this Stage, there are also ways to acquire them from within the Stages themselves. Look towards the tree, where a Healing Apple is awaiting you.]

Adam followed its directions and saw that a branch, which hadn’t been there before, was reaching down towards the ground from the large central tree in the clearing. At the tip of the branch was a single red apple.

“That’s not a trap, right?”

[Healing Items take shapes according to the Stage you are in and are often difficult to acquire or hard to find, but will always return you to full health. Collected Healing Items will not be transported with you, when you complete a Stage.]

As it finished its speech, the tree wall directly opposite where he stood began to shift as a larger purple slime squeezed through. Unlike the blue ones, it had two cores inside the top of its upside-down cone-shaped body, giving off the appearance of eyes, which was unsettling. A second after it appeared, two smaller blue slimes squeezed out of the treeline as well.

“Three-on-one? Really?”

The smaller slimes hopped forward, while the purple upside-down cone squeezed itself in order to gain more height. The tip of its ‘head’ became almost like a spear, which it bent down, aiming for his head. It too began hopping forward, though it moved slower than the blue ones.

Definitely have to get rid of that purple prick first.

Adam charged towards the blue slimes, but just as they were close enough to jump at him, he kicked off the mossy ground and went to the right of them, lifting his shield in front of his head, while closing the distance to the tall slime.

Schiiing!

The spear-like head of the purple slime produced a terrifying sound as it jabbed towards him. When it struck his shield, it didn’t feel like a slime’s jelly-like body, but rather like a metallic weapon, and it had a lot of power behind it. He was pushed back a step, while blindly swinging his elongated sword out in front of the shield blocking his vision. Adam felt the tactile feedback of his blade hitting the creature, but its body was a lot harder than the blue slimes.

Schiiing!

A new attack punched into his defences, this time going all the way through, with the tip of the purple spear-head emerging just above the arm the shield was strapped to. With a frantic swing, he managed to sever the top of the slime’s head and it slid out of his shield, leaving a circular hole behind.

As soon as the pointy top hit the moss below, one of the blue slimes began moving towards it. Adam noticed this peculiarity, but instead of stopping, he shifted his shield slightly and swung his sword into the side of the purple slime again, aiming for the cores.

The strike took a bite out of its strangely-dense body, but he needed more power to cleave through, as it was consolidating its mass and thickening up its body, in order to defend itself. Adam let out a loud grunt of effort as he shifted his shield hand to the bottom of his sword handle and swung through the slime with a diagonal slash, which leveraged all his strength.

The blade travelled through the dense purple jelly, cleaving one of the cores and continuing to carve down and out its side. The top half fell into two separate pieces, with the part he’d cut off containing the remaining core.

With an overhead swing, he split the piece in half, with the core cut down the middle. After both cores were destroyed, he felt an immense sense of satisfaction. The feeling was immediately replaced with horror, as the carved-up remains began to bloat.

Bang!

The entire purple slime exploded, shooting out darts as long as his hand.

Adam was hit in the right thigh, abdomen, shoulder and upper arm, while his shield protected his left side. His white shirt was immediately damaged beyond repair. Each purple dart dug in about three centimetres, before beginning to slowly release some kind of chemical that heightened the pain.

While quickly yanking out the darts and tossing them aside, Adam cursed up a storm.

[Warning! Health below 50%. It is recommended that you make use of the Healing Apple.]

Schiiing!

Suddenly a sharp pain filled his left calf, and he instinctively swung his sword down in self-defence, seeing that a smaller version of the purple slime was there.

[Warning! Health below 25%. You are close to dying.]

His strike cut it in half, and with a quick stab he pierced its single core, before limping back a couple steps and raising his shield to protect against its explosion. A smaller bang came and two impacts thumped against his shield, while he hid behind it.

Where did that second one come from!?

No sooner had the question entered his mind than he saw that one of the blue slimes was slurping up parts of the purple’s severed flesh, before it turned into the same colour and manifested a spike out of its body.

“They can do that!?”

[Warning! You are close to dying.]

“It’s not that bad,” he argued, although he could tell that his entire body was inflamed with pain, even though the adrenaline in his system was working overtime to suppress it.

He glanced away from the slime to the tree, then began limping his way towards the awaiting apple.

[30 seconds remaining of Wave Three.]

“You just never shut up, do you Shitbox!?”

As he was limping to the apple branch, blood was freely leaking from his entire right side and the wound in his left calf, leaving behind a red trail that the blue-turned-purple slime was hopping along, while its top was shaped like the blade of a rapier. The weight of his shield and sword was starting to feel like it was too much, but he knew that discarding either was going to get him killed.

He somehow made it to the apple, but it was just high enough that he could not reach it without jumping. Jumping was unlikely to be a good idea though, so he instead swung his sword into the air clumsily, slapping the apple free from the branch with the flat of his blade and losing his balance at the same time.

With a belly-flop on the soft ground, he landed in such a way that his head was right next to the apple. He immediately bit into it.

[Healing Apple consumed! Recovering Health back to 100%.]

In an instant, Adam’s wounds were sealed shut and he felt all his strength return to him.

[15 seconds remaining of Wave Three.]

Schiiing!

Adam instinctively rolled aside, just as the small purple slime jabbed its rapier blade at him. It struck the mossy ground instead of his groin, and, while it was struggling to pull it free, he got to his feet by using the shield. Then he swung his blade down into its body.

The small slime had become dense like the original whose essence it’d devoured, but it was not as big, so his strike was still powerful enough to cleave it nearly perfectly down the middle. He followed up with a stab to its core, before hiding behind his shield.

Bang!

Unlike with the blue slimes, the purple ones seemed to still explode like grenades, no matter how he cut up their cores.

< < Wave Three Complete > >

< Choose your Upgrade >

Adam slid down onto his knees, breathing quickly.

“Fuck this shit,” he muttered.

Once I’m done with this Stage, I’m finding a way out of this place.

He couldn’t help but recall the image of his dad and niece. They’d both looked so confused and scared. After his dad had lost his memories following a risky brain operation, he’d become almost infantile in some ways. If not for his caretaker, he wouldn’t have been able to survive. And now he was all alone in whatever place Shitbox had sent him to.

[You have 15 seconds left to pick an upgrade.]

Adam got back to his feet and ran over to where Shitbox had unfolded to present his three options.

I need something that lets me cut through those slimes more easily or something to protect me from their explosions.

He looked at the options, his eyes immediately catching on the green symbol that represented an uncommon upgrade, and saw that it was the same upgrade as the middle one from Wave Two. The first option also had a familiar image, but the third choice was new. It had a white icon of a person with a second outline that was moving weirdly.

< < Upgrades Available > >

< Sword Speed-Up (Common) — Increases sword swing speed by 10% >

< Thorny Shield (Uncommon) — Reflects 10% of blocked damage >

< Dodge (Common) — Grants a 5% chance to dodge a direct attack >

Reflect Damage might help me kill them.

He thought the small speed increase on his sword swing was unlikely to help him much. Same with the low chance to dodge, which also only triggered on direct attacks, which probably didn’t include the explosions as those were not aimed at him specifically. However, if he could reflect some of the damage he blocked, like the slimes’ explosions, it was sure to be a boon.

[Warning! You only have 5 seconds left to pick an upgrade.]

“I’m picking it!” he shouted in annoyance, as he touched his hand to the green symbol.

< < Upgrade Selected > >

< Thorny Shield (Uncommon) >

The front of his shield grew tiny spikes as the new upgrade kicked in.

“What shit are you gonna throw at me this time?”

He still felt rather winded, so he hoped it would be an easier round, although that seemed unlikely given the trend until now.

< < Wave Four > >

< 90-Second Timer >

Two separate groups of slimes broke from the treeline on the opposite side of the clearing from him. There were one blue and one green in each group, with the green ones being like chubbier versions of the blues and having two cores like the purples.

He had to be careful about the small ones eating the remains of the special slimes, since they could copy their powers, but he still felt confident that taking out the special variants first was the safest choice here.

Adam ran towards the nearest group to his left, while the blue slimes hopped in his direction. The two green ones remained where they were and seemed to be getting bigger, similar to how the blues would bloat when they died.

Then they simultaneously ejected globs of their own jelly bodies at him, each firing three baseball-sized projectiles. It sounded like they were blowing bubbles when they fired, like plop-plop-plop.

“Woah!” he exclaimed, raising his shield while frantically hopping to the side to avoid them as they rained down on his position..

None of the six projectiles managed to hit his shield, but they instantly dissolved the moss and scalded the exposed dirt black where they landed.

I wonder if my sword will be okay if it touches that?

With a thud, Adam was pushed back, as one of the blue slimes had caught up to him and slammed into his shield. One of the spikes on the front shot back at the attacker, while he regained his balance, shoving his shield forward to flip the slime on its top, before chopping it in half down the middle where its core was. Then he hid behind his shield as it popped.

The sound of blowing bubbles caught his ears and Adam immediately ran forward, while keeping his shield raised in front of himself. Two of the six projectiles hit his shield weakly, but then the smell of a chemical burn flooded his nose and he saw how two dark patches bled through to the backside.

At the same time, a small piece of each of the projectiles split off and bounced back to the sender: the green slime right in front of him. It was struck right as it was starting to bloat and preparing to fire off more. The damage was high enough to interrupt its charge-up attack.

Adam closed the distance and swung his sword through its body, aiming to strike both cores simultaneously. Unlike the purple slime, the green one wasn’t dense at all. In fact, it was easier to cut through than the blues and he split both cores with ease.

Then, as it started to bloat, he hurried away from it, keeping his shield between them.

Pop!

The green slime exploded much like how the blue ones did, but with it came a barrage of the baseball-sized projectiles, which quickly rained down around the area, destroying the mossy understory of the clearing. Its range seemed to be about fifteen metres.

Plop-plop-plop!

Three globs of acid were shot at him by the remaining green slime, while the blue one was skipping towards the steaming remains of the one he’d just killed.

“Oh no you don’t,” he muttered, as he raised his shield and caught two of the projectiles, before reaching the blue slime. He chopped it in half and then stabbed its core.

Adam surged towards the remaining enemy, while a pop came from behind him. The green bastard was trying to charge up for another attack, but he slashed his blade through its body, getting both cores.

Then he retreated and watched it explode in a shower of acid.

[Well done! You cleared the Wave with more than half the time remaining.]

“That one did feel better,” he remarked. “Do I get a reward for going fast?”

[Yes.]

< < Wave Four Complete > >

< Choose your Upgrade >

Shitbox unfolded in front of him, with the large tree just behind it. Adam noticed that there was a new branch with a Healing Apple growing from it, but this one was four metres off the ground, so it would be difficult to reach.

“What kind of reward?” he asked, while looking at the three new symbols. There were two unfamiliar ones and both were uncommon. The first symbol was a sword with a spiked aura, the middle was a shield with the same effect, and the last was the fist he’d seen after the first wave. The aura clearly meant ‘damage’.

[You will find out after the next Wave.]

< < Upgrades Available > >

< Sword Damage (Uncommon) — Increases sword damage by 10% >

< Bash Damage (Uncommon) — Increases shield bash damage by 10% >

< Damage (Common) — Increases all damage by 5% >

It’s all damage this time. I wonder if that’s a bad sign…

Regardless, the best choice was obvious.

< < Upgrade Selected > >

< Sword Damage (Uncommon) >

There was no obvious transformation from his choice, but he got the sense that the edge was a bit sharper than before.

< < Wave Five > >

< 180-Second Timer >

“180 seconds this time. So it’s definitely a Boss,” he speculated.

He then narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Wait, what happens if the time runs out?”

[The Boss will become enraged, tripling its damage and speed.]

“Aha! So it is a Boss Wave!”

[It may be useful to check on your Player Status during a Stage. You can bring it up by uttering the word ‘Status’.]

“Seriously, Shitbox, how is this not a videogame??”

A distant thump came from beyond the dense forest wall of the clearing, in the direction directly opposite him, which was how every Wave started. It was a weird consideration that the ones in charge of the ‘Trials of Defiance’ had decided that dropping a new Wave on top of the Player was a bad move. It seemed at odds with the forceful participation and cruel design of the whole thing.

Another thump made Adam do a small hop.

“Status,” he said, while gripping his sword firmly.

< < Player Status > >

< Adam Fischer >

< Defender >

< Level 4 >

< Stats >

< Health — 200 >

< Stamina — 100 >

< Damage — 75% >

< Defence — 150% >

< Speed — 100% >

< Upgrades >

< — — — >

[You may also bring up your Weapon Status by uttering the word ‘Armament’.]

Another thump came and Adam nearly fell over, while the trees around the clearing, as well as the one in the middle, started shaking and rustling their leaves.

“Armament.”

< < Weapon Status > >

< Sword & Shield >

< Common Quality >

< Level 4 >

< General Upgrades >

< Shield Growth 20% >

< Sword Growth 30% >

< Thorny Shield 10% >

< Sword Damage 10% >

“Does something happen if I keep levelling up my weapon?”

[Yes.]

“And you’re not going to tell me, right?”

Shitbox did not reply and he instinctively knew that it was because the Boss had arrived. A large shadow appeared on the other side of the great tree and, a second later, a giant deep-blue slime arrived with a thunderous boom. The quake that rolled through the clearing was powerful enough to knock Adam down onto his ass.

As soon as he got back to his feet, the five-metre-tall slime began to hop towards him, clearing two metres at a time and producing a loud thump each time, which made the ground shake.

“There’s no way…” he muttered, but then he remembered the images of his family and what was at stake if he died.

Within the Boss’ body were three large cores the size of oranges and they freely moved around, providing a tricky target for him. Strangely, atop of its dark-blue mound of jelly flesh was a rusted crown.

The ‘Slime King’ hopped again and Adam seized the opportunity to rush forward with an upward slash, holding both hands on his sword handle and hoping to use its downward momentum to aid in the cutting powers of his sword. Sure enough, as it landed, his sword was dragged up through its body and he managed to cut off about a fifth of its mass.

As the piece fell to the ground, he backed off several metres to see how it’d react, but nothing much seemed to change about it. One thing of note was that its body didn’t have a very powerful corrosive effect, since the moss and dirt beneath it wasn’t dissolving immediately or charring black.

Realising that this foe was just a big target that was trying to crush him, he charged for it as it jumped again, repeating the same trick from before and managing to nick one of the cores as he cut a slice off of its body.

Slashing attacks don’t seem like they’ll work, he concluded, since the cores kept shifting out of the way of his blade.

Adam decided to try stabbing instead, so he took his left hand off his blade handle and ran forward with the shield in front of him, right when the Boss landed from another hop. He slammed his shield into its side, while pulling his right hand back and holding the blade horizontally. Then, just before it was about to jump again, one of the cores shifted close to the ‘surface’ of its body and he hammered his sword directly into it, breaking it in half.

The Slime King instantly ballooned in size as though it would explode and Adam was close enough to be sent flying.

He was sent skipping across the ground once and slammed his back into the tree wall of the clearing. All the air was forced out of his lungs and he immediately started coughing while trying to breathe in.

“What’s my health?” he managed to ask Shitbox between coughs.

[You have 160 Health or 80% remaining.]

Adam pushed himself off the ground and ran towards the big slime, but it was doing something strange. The two remaining cores stopped moving inside its large body, equidistant from each other. Then it split down the middle and changed colours, with the cores within them likewise splitting into two smaller ones.

The left side turned green and the right became purple.

“Ah, shit,” he muttered, before immediately switching to the green one, while the purple twin was forming itself into a flexible spike. They were both larger than their previous counterparts, no doubt owing to the enormous size of the Slime King.

Adam swung his blade through the green twin, managing to immediately sever a core, before disengaging and positioning himself such that it was between him and the purple one.

Schiiing!

To his surprise, the purple slime’s spike pierced through its twin to try and hit him. He was just far enough away that the tip only poked the front of his shield, which didn’t seem to trigger his damage reflect.

When it retracted its spike, Adam moved forward and started slashing into the green one, tearing away its jelly flesh to reach the core, before immediately hurrying back several steps.

Schiiing!

Once again the purple slime lanced through its twin, but this time it struck the remaining core and destroyed it. The green slime began to sizzle, before the fragments of its two cores collected themselves into four tiny pebbles, which positioned themselves in a way that divided its body into quarters. Then, unsurprisingly, it split and became four small blue slimes.

Adam charged forward with his shield, bashing them aside and jabbing his sword into the purple slime’s body, exploiting the pause between its attacks. He managed to pierce deep enough to break one of the cores, despite the fact that its body was denser than the other versions. It helped that it was stretching itself thinner.

Schiiing!

As the purple twin retaliated, he narrowly dodged to the side of its stabbing top, which instead pierced one of the blue slimes, killing it. This one popped like normal, meaning it was done dividing once it reached that tiny stage.

Adam gasped for air, having overexerted himself to keep up with the monster thus far. Not being allowed proper breaks between Waves also wasn’t helping, as the exhaustion was piling up.

A sizzling pain suddenly blossomed on the side of his left leg, as one of the blue slimes jumped into him. The fabric of his grey jeans immediately dissolved and his skin felt like it was set on fire. He chopped it in half with his sword, before moving around the purple slime’s body to avoid the splash of its explosion.

“Shitbox, how much health did I lose!?”

[The attack dealt 45 points of damage, which was reduced to 30 thanks to your Defence rating. That means you now have 130 Health or 65% remaining.]

Good to know that a Defender’s Defence rating is actually worth something.

The purple slime was preparing to strike him again, not needing to turn around to hit him, instead just bending its spiked top around.

Adam baited out its strike, but he was a bit too slow and it pierced through his shield and into his left upper arm. The Thorny upgrade triggered and fired off several of its spikes back at the Boss, breaking apart some of its body.

[Warning! Health below 50%.]

With a roar, he chopped his blade down through its spiked ‘head’ and severed it, then shifted his grip upside-down and hammered his blade tip into its body repeatedly, until striking the core.

Like the green twin, the purple slime began to sizzle and the cores turned into four. Adam let it do its thing, while running around its body to get the remaining blue ones, before four more joined in. With a chopping strike and a piercing stab, he killed them in quick succession, then backed away as they exploded.

The purple slime divided into four blue slimes, just like the green one had, and though his lungs were on fire and his body screamed in pain, he charged forward without giving them a chance to move. Adam chopped two of the slimes in half, before backing away as they exploded, only to charge forward and bashing his shield into a third, following up with a jab to kill it.

[60 seconds remaining before the Boss enrages.]

With an exhausted but wrathful attack, he killed the last slime with two quick slashes. As it bloated and prepared to explode, he stumbled back a couple steps, before slipping and landing on his ass.

Pop!

< < Wave Five Complete > >

< < Stage Complete > >

< Tallying Score >

“Fuck this,” he groaned, laying down on his back in the moss and staring up at the azure sky above the forest. His body slowly healed itself back to full, now that the Stage was completed, and he even felt how his energy returned, as his Stamina was replenished.

< < Score > >

< 300 Seconds Completion Time >

< 220 Damage Received >

< 375 Points Awarded >

“How do you calculate the score?” he asked.

Shitbox floated over to where he lay, hovering above his head and directing its creepy eye down at him.

[A Player’s score is based on several elements: enemies defeated; the speed at which a Wave is completed; how much damage was received; and other bonus elements that will be revealed once attained.]

“So, what now?”

[You will receive another Upgrade choice, as well as a Relic Chest that will allow you to pick between three Relics. Once you have selected both, you will be transported to the Interim Island.]

“Relics?”

[Relics are items that can benefit a Player in a myriad of ways: offensively, defensively, supportively, and so forth. Conquering the Trials of Defiance is impossible without making good use of them.]

“Well, then, let’s get on with it.”

Shitbox floated over to where the tree stood and Adam got up from the ground to follow. He noticed how the moss was returned to its original pristine nature and that all the remnants of the slimes were erased, as though he hadn’t just had the most insane fight of his life in this idyllic place.

As usual, the tesseract unfolded in that bizarre way to create a podium with three options hovering above. Unlike the other times, however, there was a wooden chest next to it. The image of the Slime King was engraved into its top half and it looked like it belonged in a retro videogame.

Despite it all, the sight actually made him excited. As soon as he realised it, however, he shoved the feeling down.

Don’t get side-tracked! he scolded himself. The only thing that matters is getting out of this place and freeing my family.

On the podium were two familiar symbols and one new, which looked like a blade with a serrated edge. All of them were uncommon.

< < Upgrades Available > >

< Sword Growth (Uncommon) — Increases sword length by 30% >

< Shield Growth (Uncommon) — Increases shield size by 30% >

< Bleed (Uncommon) — Attacks inflict Bleed dealing 10% Weapon Damage over the course of 10 seconds >

Adam thought about picking the bleed option, but he couldn’t tell if it’d actually work against enemies like slimes, given that they had no veins in their body and thus no blood to spill.

“Shitbox, does bleed affect all enemies?”

[No.]

Figures.

He picked Sword Growth since it seemed to have a lot more utility over bonus damage that didn’t work against everything he’d encounter.

< < Upgrade Selected > >

< Sword Growth (Uncommon) >

“Alright, let me see the Relics so I can go to that island you were talking about,” Adam told the tesseract, while his sword increased in both length and weight.

Any more growth and this thing can’t really be called a one-handed sword…

Shitbox folded back into its tesseract shape and flew over to the treasure chest. Then golden light began to spill out from the seam of its lid, before popping open and casting that light into the air. Three items floated out from within and hovered above it, not too unlike how the upgrade podium displayed things.

There was an apple identical to the one still hanging from a branch on the tree, a glass jar with blue slime inside it, and a white glove with red stars woven into its fabric. The first two options glowed white, but the third had a blue glow, which was new.

< < Relics Available > >

< Healing Apple (Common) — If the Player’s health falls below 25%, this apple is consumed, healing them back to full. Once consumed, the Relic disappears >

< Slime Coating (Common) — The Player's weapons are coated with the essence of a Blue Slime, imbuing them with 10% additional Corrosive Damage. The Relic lasts for 3 Stages >

< Duellist’s Glove (Rare) — Charge an attack for 2 seconds to enable it to pierce armour. 60 second cooldown >

“Well that’s a no-brainer,” he said, picking the glove.

Just like when he’d picked the sword and shield initially, the Relic equipped itself to his right hand.

< < Relic Selected > >

< Duellist’s Glove (Rare) >

Before he could even test out its power, the tesseract, which was hovering nearby, let out a pulse of its strange magic and the surroundings fell away into inky darkness. Another pulse pushed away that darkness, revealing a cobblestone road under his feet. As the pulse continued to expand outward, buildings and trees were revealed.

< < Now Entering > >

< Interim Island >

---------------

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. As I said above, the premise of the story won't hit until chapter two. Not sure when I'll have that out, but perhaps next week.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -140

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---Next chapter----

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Chapter -140

At our arrival into the mustard-yellow space, which seemed to branch randomly in all directions with nonsensical corridors and chambers, the people trapped here came up to us. From their expressions, it was clear that they were scared, but it seemed they were hoping we’d brought them salvation.

Chris took his headphones off and put them around his neck.

“Are we safe here?” he asked.

“I think I managed to stall the monster,” I told him.

“Don’t be so sure,” Panda remarked, though Chris of course couldn’t hear him.

The Backstabber scanned the crowd of people coming towards us. His little brother clearly weren’t amongst them, so he addressed them all:

“Have any of you seen a young boy with blonde hair like mine!?”

They looked amongst themselves and started muttering, though some of the people just stared straight at us without blinking.

I gritted my teeth as I pulled out my Looking Glass and scanned them. Almost immediately I got a hit.

“They’re here,” I told Tina.

Steve looked between us, worried.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Skinstealers.”

“…What?”

“You received a Looking Glass right? Have a look at that guy over there,” I told him, pointing to ‘David’.

Steve brought out the item and gave him an appraisal.

“What the fudge?”

“Yeah, that’s a Skinstealer. I’ve seen them many times before.”

“He isn’t the only one,” Tina said, her eyes sharp and her tone serious.

Although people always seemed to think her alter ego Nina was the dangerous one, it was Tina who’d willfully committed all the atrocities that had gotten her sent to jail and then later the closed Calm Springs Asylum, only to be transferred to an even more secure facility when the orderlies couldn’t handle her.

“This is what Annabella was warning me about with you,” Steve said. “You killed her friend, Sam.”

“I saved her life,” I replied, recalling the incident after the Pool Rooms that’d earnt me the Conspiracy Whistle.

Steve looked skeptical. He was clearly someone who needed to see to believe, so I waved at David and beckoned him over.

“Come here for a second, my friend,” I said with the biggest fake smile I could manage.

The guy slowly shambled towards me, while I pulled out the whistle.

“You might want to back away for this,” Panda warned the others.

Steve and Tina moved away. Meanwhile, Chris was in the process of talking to the people around the chamber, who’d all split up into small groups.

“You should give him the Soul Compass,” Panda said.

“First we clean up the Skinstealers,” I whispered, while David Moreno was continuing to walk towards me, as I backed up to a wall that no one else was near.

“Thaaaat’s right,” I patronized him.

“You should be good here,” Panda said.

I blew a note in the whistle. It felt like a spiked cat’s tongue was doing the nasty to my eardrum and something warm leaked out of my right nostril.

---

Player ‘Gambit’ has activated a Conspiracy Whistle.

You have received +10% Insanity!

---

Immediately, David unzipped down the middle and opened up to reveal a massive maw stuffed with teeth. At the same time, everyone in the room gripped their ears and cried out in distress.

“Wait, I think the insanity range might be longer than I remember,” Panda commented.

“What the fuck, Gambit!?” Steve yelled, clearly upset about his insanity gauge going up.

“Inspect,” I said, looking at the whistle and ignoring his complaints.

“Damn it, Panda.”

“What!? Don’t blame me!”

“I’m counting on you to be the smart one!”

“Gambit, watch out!” Steve then yelled.

I quickly hopped to the side, as Definitely-Not-David tried to chomp down on me with his fucked-up body-bisecting mouth. Then I triggered SPRING_HEEL and smashed Brock into the side of him.

“Get dead in 3 seconds, dog!!” he squealed.

The Skinstealer spun around and lunged for me with another chomp, but I just backpedaled, while letting the timer run its course.

As the delay ended, the top half of Not-David’s body exploded into a fine mist. Again, people cried out and gasped. It was hard to tell if it was because of how easily I’d killed the monster, or because they weren’t used to seeing someone get killed.

While I walked back towards Tina and Steve, an achievement appeared:

“What does that all mean?” I muttered.

“Abandoning your earthly ties probably means to let go of your friends and possessions, right?” Panda guessed.

“Fuck that.”

I stopped next to Steve, looking at the people nearby. They’d gone all the way back to the far wall of the large room and were yelling at Chris to not come any closer.

“Steve.”

“What?”

“Do your Simon Says thing,” I told him.

“And tell them what?”

“To split into two groups, one with humans and one with Skinstealers.”

He frowned. “There are more of them?”

“Out of the seventeen people here, six are not human,” Tina commented. She wasn’t using a Looking Glass, but it was clear she had some kind of ability that did the same, or perhaps Nina was whispering the answer into her ears.

“Can’t you just do the same thing you just did for each of them?” he asked. “But like, farther away. I’m less than 15% from hitting 100…”

“You seem pretty calm about it,” Panda noted. “It’s almost like you mellowed out after becoming less sane.”

“It does help one’s outlook on life a lot,” I said.

Tina nodded in agreement.

“I received a warning when I got the 75% insanity achievement,” Steve said. “If I hit 100%, I’ll turn into something dangerous apparently.”

“It’s called a Boss Monstrosity,” Panda replied. “The thing that destroyed the Mall was one of those.”

“Don’t worry Steve, I’ll make sure to kill you if that happens,” I said comfortingly.

He sighed deeply. “Perhaps I should’ve just let the swan eat me.”

Chris came over to us and asked, “What the hell was that whistle sound? Did you just turn someone into a monster with it??”

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied. Then I pulled the headphones off his neck and placed them over my ears.

“Alright, go for it Steve!” I yelled.

I watched as Steve’s mouth moved. Then, like a wave pulsing out from him, people started to obey his command. Even Chris followed the larger group of people as they want to the wall where David’s dead body lay, while six figures remained by the opposite end. Tina remained put, clearly immune to Steve’s Birthday Brat power.

After taking off the headphones and putting them around my neck, I rotated my right shoulder joint and ran towards the six Skinstealers. Tina followed next to me, neon-green energy suffusing her hands and birthing spiraling serpents.

Then we dispatched of the imposters before they could break free of Steve’s command.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -139

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It was a bit hard to get something that actually looks like Arney, but this is still horrific in its own messed-up way :)

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Chapter -139

Tina, Steve, and I ran to the lighthouse, moving through the small forest on the island, while Chris giggled in my arms, despite the headphones over his ears. In the distance was the sound of laughter, but we’d gained a small lead on the Nightmare creature, since it had immediately gone for the B-movie Horror Antagonist that’d been coming out of the water.

“What’s wrong with him?” Steve asked as we ran past trees.

Unlike with the cloud stairs earlier, he was easily keeping up with me. Tina was using neon-green snakes sprouting from her back to swing herself forward like some knock-off Spider-Man.

“The laughing is making him insane,” Panda answered.

“It’s not affecting me,” he replied, hopping over a knee-high root while talking.

“That’s probably because you are already borderline insane,” the plushie explained.

The sound of crashing trees came from behind, and I looked back just in time to see the many-armed creep barreling its way towards us. It was using its hands and arms to turn itself into a ball of sorts and the sight alone would make any sane person lose their marbles.

“TICKLE…”

Steve started smiling and so did I. It was quite uncomfortable.

Suddenly Tina slingshotted herself forward and past the last line of trees. By the time we broke out of the forest, she was already halfway across a swampy field to the lighthouse. Arney the Tickler was way too close for us to be able to make it, since it was about half a mile, so I hooked my right foot around Steve’s leg and brought us both to a halt. He immediately faceplanted on the ground, before shooting back upright with a furious mud-stained face.

“What is wrong with y—!?” he started yelling.

“hole.Worm( )!” I interrupted him, while placing Chris back down on his feet.

A black shadow appeared under us, while the Nightmare creature rapidly closed the distance. Then, just as Arney broke from the forest, we were swallowed up by the Transport Worm and sent into that bizarre inner space.

“That was way too close!” Panda exclaimed. “I’m worried about what happens to me if Arney gets you.”

“He might be able to tickle you as well.”

“Stop that… You’ll give me nightmares.”

“Did you really have to do that!?” Steve exclaimed, walking past one of the bean bags that Chris had plopped down into, while he continued to giggle.

“My hands were full,” I replied.

He frowned, before adopting a worried expression. “What do we do? Even if we get to the lighthouse, this thing probably isn’t much faster than that Mr. Hands.”

“Please don’t call him that,” I pleaded.

“What? Why? He has a lot of hands.”

“It’s a reminder of a traumatic video I watched.”

“I can’t believe you shared it with your grandmother,” Panda commented.

“She really loves horses.”

“Focus!” Steve said, snapping his fingers. “Don’t make me use my ability on you!”

I narrowed my eyes. “If you do that, I’ll actually kill you.”

“He’s right though,” Panda remarked. “What are you going to do when you arrive at the lighthouse?”

“I’ll give you guys enough time to run to the top,” I said.

“Really, you’d do that?” Steve replied, surprised.

“I’m shocked,” Panda added.

“Shut up, both of you, and get ready to take Chris with you,” I told Steve.

The tube-like interior of the Transport Worm narrowed quickly, before the three of us were squeezed out of the end, landing on our feet right in front of the lighthouse’s door. A second later Tina pushed past us and through the entrance.

“Go!” I yelled to Steve, who immediately dragged the giggling Chris with him and up the stairs.

“What’s at the top?” Steve yelled back down.

“Either the doorway to the next place or a way to locate it on this island!” I called back, while moving away from the door to meet Arney who was coming in hot.

I pulled my right arm back and sent forward a punch just in time to hit right as he came within reach.

“Fak yuu, handsy prick!!” Brock yelled.

The impact did nothing and countless arms grabbed a hold of me. Each of them were dark like petroleum and stank like it too, with an overwhelmingly-heady stench filling my nostrils.

Just as I was lifted into the air, my delayed punch finally registered and the force was enough to push the whole creature back several yards. I immediately dropped back to my feet as its grip on me faltered.

“Crimson Claymore!” I exclaimed. The crack and pop of violent power came from my hand where a sword of red energy instantly appeared.

I crouched down to trigger SPRING_HEEL, then shot myself towards Arney. With as much power as I could manage, I swung the blade through his disgusting body as I flew past him. I landed on my Schmonic Boots and slid for a few feet, before launching myself forward again with another slash, which went right through his red-skinned grinning face with disturbing yellow-glowing eyes.

As I skidded away following the second attack, the first finished its delayed effect from my Damage Sleep passive. A red line went all the way through the Nightmare, and when he tried to move towards me, several of his arms just fell away from his body.

Then the second registered and he was split in half.

“Fuck you!” I yelled as Arney the Tickler died.

“Gambit…” Panda said.

“What!?”

“You can’t kill a Nightmare. At least not forward.”

“What do you m—?”

---

WARNING!

A Nightmare has been temporarily defeated, but it is still locked onto your scent.

---

“Motherfucker…”

While still holding the claymore that would cut through anything, I ran back towards the lighthouse, before barging through its door and hurrying up its spiraling metal staircase. Every step sent echoing creaks up through the interior. When I was almost at the top, my claymore vanished, its 1-minute duration over.

At the top was a door that Steve was holding open for me. I went through it and came out onto a balcony of sorts, with the light mechanism in the center. Instead of the light bulb that was supposed to be within the round chamber at the top, there was another door, this one painted yellow. Tina was already standing inside and looking at it, with Chris next to her. He seemed to have finally stopped laughing, but the headphones remained on his head, which was probably for the best.

“Alright, let’s go,” I told him and Tina opened the door, revealing a weird-looking room with mustard-yellow wallpaper and a soggy-looking carpeted floor.

“What about the monster?” Steve asked.

“It’ll be back.”

The three of them went through the yellow door first and when I was just about to go through as well, I heard a sound in the distance.

“TICKLE…”

It was clear I couldn’t defeat him, so I had to find the Dreamer quickly and wake everyone up.

“Hopefully he stays within Dreamland,” I muttered.

Before I went through the door, I touched my left hand to the frame of it and activated my Rebel’s Ring.

“Do you think blowing up the door will actually work?” Panda asked, unconvinced.

“We’ll see. Nothing wrong with trying, right?”

Then I walked through the yellow door and came out into a chamber where my team was waiting, alongside other people. I recognized some of them from the sleepers I’d seen in the ‘Temple’, but my alarm bells were ringing.

“Skinstealers,” I muttered, as my boots sunk down into the soggy carpet.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -138

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Chapter -138

“Wait, is there a chance Arney the Tickler will be here?” I asked.

As though in response to my question, a loud infectious laughter filled the air.

---

WARNING!

A Nightmare has locked onto your scent.

---

“Shit, we’ve gotta go,” I told Chris.

The Backstabber was holding his mouth, while tears were streaming out of his eyes.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s… laughing,” Panda replied ominously.

“HAHAHA!!” Chris suddenly belted out.

I smacked him on the cheek with my left hand, which immediately broke him out of it.

“Get your shit together man.”

“Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Might want to stuff some corn in his ears,” Panda suggested.

“Meow.”

“Lordie, seriously. Enough with the murder-hobo suggestions. Get back in your cage, you little maniac.”

“Me-ow…” the hand-spider complained, but he obliged nonetheless.

Before Panda could ask me to translate, I said, “He wants me to cut off Chris’ ears. He also wanted me to feed them to him.”

“What the hell.”

“Chris, do you have something that blocks out sound? Otherwise I’ll tear up my old pajamas and stuff them in your ears.”

“I’ve got… hahaha… I’ve got noise-cancelling headphones.”

“Put them on.”

“Inventory,” he said, before finding the headset, which appeared in his hands. He immediately put them on.

I inspected the item.

“Well that’s pretty convenient.”

“A bit contrived, don’t you think?” Panda muttered.

I tapped Chris on the shoulder and did the international hand gesture for “Follow me”.

He tilted his head slightly.

“Why are you doing a dolphin motion with your hand?” he shouted.

I pointed at him, then at myself, before holding my left hand flat and using my index and middle fingers to do a walking motion.

“Follow you?” he shouted.

I gave him an unenthusiastic thumbs-up.

“Maybe Lordie was right, after all,” I muttered, before picking a direction away from the source of the laughter and taking off.

While walking, I kept punching weakly in front of me using Brock. 3 seconds after every punch, a powerful blast of wind pushed away the cornstalks and created a path for us to follow, without allowing anything to easily sneak up on us.

“I wonder where Steve and Tina went,” Panda said.

“Let me see if I can spot them,” I replied, halting and doing a T with my hands to call a timeout for Chris.

Then I knelt down to trigger SPRING_HEEL, before shooting myself straight up into the air with a slight spin. Nothing but corn filled my view for as far as I could see, although there was a portion about two miles away where all the plants were decayed. It seemed a bad idea to go in that direction I thought.

As soon as I landed, I repeated the motions again, shooting high up while spinning slightly. This time I saw a large neon-green serpent about 300 yards in the direction we were already heading. Strangely, there were no sign of the many other sleepers that were supposed to still be alive in here.

More laughter filled the air and it felt like tiny needles were poked into my cheeks, triggering certain muscle groups and forcing me to smile.

Then a slow overly-enunciated voice flowed across the cornfield.

“TICKLE…”

“TICKLE…”

“TICKLE…”

Panda frowned, while I put on more speed, pulling Chris by the wrist since he quickly started lacking behind.

“I officially don’t like this,” Panda said.

“I don’t want to be tickled,” I muttered. “It’s my one true weakness.”

The laughter came even closer, so I threw caution to the wind, picked up Chris in a princess hold, and then leapt towards Tina and Steve.

As I was about to fall back down towards the cornfield, I brought out the sentient longboard. Its wheels struck the tops of the cornstalks, but just kept going forward, as though they were load-bearing structures.

“You should activate your Rules of Anarchy,” Panda told me.

“Which one?”

“Well, you have either ‘Fuck Gravity’ or ‘Fall Guy’ left, so I figure we give the latter one a try.”

“I guess so. Rules of Anarchy(Fall Guy).”

---

Rules of Anarchy Activated!

Passive Selected: Fall Guy

Description:

A perfect copy of you will take all the blame and seek out the foes hunting you. Anyone who kills the Fall Guy will believe they have killed you.

---

A ‘perfect’ copy of me appeared, holding a mannequin doll with a dirty-blond wig in its arms, which I guessed was supposed to resemble Chris, and he also had a small koala plushie on his shoulder. His appearance was close to mine, but his eyes were entirely black and he had a small mustache. He was standing atop a surfboard that operated identically to my longboard, although I had no idea how.

“¡Hola compadre! Soy Gambiño el idiota! Estoy tu Fall Guy!”

With those words, he took off in the opposite direction we were heading. It seemed like he was aiming directly towards the laughing Nightmare tracking my scent. Chris’ eyes were wide in confusion, as he watched my copy surf off into the distance.

“That is not what I expected to happen at all…” Panda muttered.

“Seriously, what’s with these weirdly-racist Mexican copies of me!?”

“I think it’s time to face the facts,” Panda said, seriously. “You really are of Mexican descent.”

“Look!” Chris shouted and pointed ahead of us.

There was a clearing of cut-down cornstalks, in the center of which stood a single wooden door. Tina and Steve stood in front of it, and around them were a bunch of torn-apart scarecrows.

I hopped down from the top of the cornstalks and landed next to them, immediately startling Steve.

“There you are,” Tina said, as though she’d known we’d come.

“Are you guys okay!?” Chris shouted.

I put him down and gestured for him to take his headphones off. When he failed to grasp my meaning, I yanked them off myself.

“I think your Fall Guy worked,” Panda said. “I don’t hear anymore la—”

---

Rules of Anarchy Deactivated!

Passive Deselected: Fall Guy

Description:

A perfect copy of you will take all the blame and seek out the foes hunting you.

Cause:

Your Fall Guy was killed.

---

“You just had to jinx it!” I complained.

---

WARNING!

A Nightmare has locked onto your scent.

---

“Is that door a way out!? Cause we’ve gotta go!”

Tina pulled on the handle of the wooden door and it swung open to reveal an island in the middle of a great lake. Steve immediately when through and I was right behind him. Chris and Tina followed last.

As I stepped through, my feet sunk down into muddy earth and heavy rain fell on my head. Nearby was the shore to the lake and there was a rickety wooden pier with an upturned rowboat next to it. The door vanished as soon as Tina came through it.

Away from the shore was a small forest of dense trees and in the distance was a tall white-painted lighthouse.

“There’s something coming from the water!” Steve exclaimed, pointing near the pier.

Sure enough, a head was slowly raising itself out of the dark lake and drawing nearer to the shore. It was a putrefied body wearing a ski mask.

At the same time, small baby-sized hands appeared mid-air and began to pull open a hole that showed the cornfields we’d just left. As I stepped back, I couldn’t help but look through the hole being formed. I saw a tiny red-skinned face with yellow-glowing eyes and teeth, which was twisted into a head-splitting grin and from which grew a body with hundreds of arms adorned with tiny baby hands.

“TICKLE…”

Chris burst out laughing and I immediately picked him up, slapping the headphones back over his ears.

“Run to the lighthouse!” Panda yelled and we all immediately took off.

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F-tier Assasin - Chapter 9

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Finished editing and also added about 800 more words! Make sure to re-read the end bit if you already checked the chapter once.

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Chapter 9

When Ashlan awoke, it was Sol’s Day, the first day of the week. As expected, a System Contract was awaiting him.

< < Contract Update > >

< < New System Contract assigned > >

At least the System was kind enough to wait for me to open my eyes.

“Assignment,” he said.

< < Assignment > >

< < Ashlan Grey — Assassin (F-tier) > >

< < Proficiency > >

< < Novice I — 1/10 Proficiency > >

< < Skills > >

< < Lurk > >

< < Contracts > >

< < System — Erase the Painter > >

“System, describe my new Contract.”

< < Contract — Erase the Painter (System) > >

< < Rewards — 1000 Silver Coins & 10 Proficiency Points > >

< Main Objectives >

< < Assassinate D-tier Painter Mikkel Bramblethorn > >

< < Obtain Unsanctioned Artefact in target’s possession > >

< Optional Objectives >

< < Avoid detection > >

< < Leave no trace behind > >

< < Arrange the death to appear like an accident > >

1000 Silvers!? Goddamn!

He took a breath to steady himself. These rewards were quite exciting, but this was also the real deal. He had to actually kill a person to earn the Silvers and Points…

Ashlan went through the info a second time.

Wait… Bramblethorn… Shit.

That’s going to be a hornets’ nest of a mess to get into. I’ll have to be careful about how I do this, otherwise I’m dead meat. That family is scary as hell, and I’m sure my target will have some serious protection given how affluent they are.

[You are only assigned System Contracts you are deemed capable of handling,] the System tried to reassure him.

“I would hope so… When is my deadline?”

[Five weeks from now.]

That’s quite a while at least. Still, coming up with a good plan might take some time…

“Where is my target located?”

[Mikkel Bramblethorn owns a small workshop in the Craft District under the name of ‘Moongazing Art’. This is the place you are most likely to encounter him.]

Didn’t realise the System would provide this much information. Fairly sure that’s not standard for other Professions.

He figured he might as well try and push the System for as much knowledge about this guy as possible, so he asked:

“System, what vulnerabilities does my target have?”

[Unknown. It is your task to ascertain how best to go about assassinating your target. Please make good use of the allotted time.]

“What happens if I fail to complete the Contract?”

[All points earnt into current Proficiency Rank are wiped.]

That’d suck for sure, although I don’t have anything to lose right now at least. Might as well take my time and try to figure out the easiest way to accomplish these two tasks.

“This Artefact, what is it?”

[Unknown. You must ascertain its nature by yourself. Unsanctioned Artefacts are beyond the oversight of the System and thus no knowledge of this object is available to disclose.]

Well that’s worrying. Didn’t realise such Artefacts were outside the System’s gaze.

Hope it’s not some dangerous weapon…

A knock came from the door. Ashlan could tell it was Estrid based on the sound.

“Come in.”

While Ashlan was chewing on a soft sliced bun with butter, cheese, and jam, he tried prompting the System through his mind. It was something he’d heard about back when he’d briefly gotten to know an assigned Thief. The guy had said it was a necessary skill to learn, when your questions about Contracts involved unsavoury or private details.

System, what is the benefit of performing the optional objectives?

[Each Optional Objective for a System Contract increases the Proficiency Point reward by 20%.]

[Optional Objectives for a Private Contract increase the Silver Coin reward by 10%.]

So, if I play my cards right, I can get 16 Points out of this.

He was focused mainly on the last one.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to figure out a way to make my target’s death appear accidental, given his family. If he’s one of those who indulge in Euphorics, then it is an easy, albeit unpleasant, thing to accomplish. But I guess I’ll have to see once I get there.

“Do you want some tea?” Estrid asked, coming over to his table with a cup on a plate.

Besides Ashlan, only Anisette was present in the Guild lounge, though he made an active effort to not acknowledge her, since she freaked him out.

“Yes, please.”

The Maid noted his reply, before asking the girl.

“Water with lime juice,” Anisette replied.

“Of course,” Estrid said, before returning to the kitchen.

As soon as she left the lounge and disappeared around the corner, Anisette got up from her table and walked over to Ashlan.

Even the way she walks is unsettling, he thought, while doing his best to ignore her presence.

“How did you make Harmon take an interest in you?” she asked, standing so close that he could reach out and touch her. The question was strange, almost childish.

“I didn’t do anything,” Ashlan told her honestly.

“Then why does he care about you? He never talks to anyone here. Before your arrival he had not been here since Victoria’s funeral.”

“I don’t know, okay?”

Anisette took a step closer to him, her black dress brushing against his arm. A coppery tang emanated from the girl. Ashlan froze, unsure how to placate her and worried what she might do if she was dissatisfied with his answer.

I guess there is a reason, actually…

“Harmon said that we share the same starting Skill.”

“Really?” her tone became lighter and hopeful almost.

Why does she care so much about him? It doesn’t seem to be attraction… At least not the normal kind.

“What Skill is it?” she pressed him.

She doesn’t even know?

How long have they been in the same Guild together?

Although she had an ageless quality to her, Ashlan was fairly sure she was more than twenty years old, since he was confident that Bjorn was the second-youngest after him.

“It’s called ‘Lurk’.”

Her eyes widened. “The Skill that allows Harmon to turn invisible. Show it to me. I want to know how it works.”

Estrid returned with a porcelain cup of steaming tea and a transparent glass with water and a slice of lime. She glanced between the two of them, before setting the beverages down on Ashlan’s table.

“It is rare for you to take an interest in other members,” she remarked to Anisette.

“I want to know more about Harmon.”

Estrid nodded. Clearly it was nothing new.

Ashlan stood up and grabbed his cup, before walking over to the Contract Slate. Anisette picked up her glass and followed him.

“If you teach me how it works, I will help you with a Private Contract.”

“Are we allowed to cooperate on those?”

“Some of them, yes.”

That might not be a bad idea then, he considered briefly, though the thought of the two of them going somewhere together was mildly concerning. He still recalled her apparent glee at recalling the memory of her Intro Quest, where she’d killed enough people for Vagan to find it upsetting. The Leader had also said her style was to leave no witnesses...

Ashlan took a slurping sip of his tea, which was too hot to drink normally.

Good thing Vagan isn’t her to scold my drinking etiquette as well.

Then he poked the Contract Slate.

< < Synchronising ‘Contract Slate’ Artefact > >

< < Private Contracts available > >

< < An Urgent Request > >

< < Arsonist in Oceanview > >

< < Butcher the Beast > >

< < ——— > >

The list went on-and-on, scrolling through titles that most of the time told you nothing about the Contract and seemed to overemphasise alliteration.

It would take hours to go through this manually, but I think I should be able to ask the System to narrow down the results.

System, show me the highest-paying Contracts that two people can do together.

< < Adjusting Parameters > >

< < Private Contracts available > >

< < The Goblin Fortress > >

< < Bounty: Krill > >

< < Bridge Troll in Overgard > >

< < ——— > >

It seemed to be showing them according to the reward, since the list was no longer in alphabetical order.

System, show me the details of ‘Goblin Fortress’.

< < Contract — The Goblin Fortress (Private) > >

< < Rewards — 14500 Silver Coins & 14 Proficiency Points > >

< Requirement >

< < Two or more Assassins > >

< Main Objectives >

< < Disable the forces of the Goblin Fortress near the border to Duskfall > >

< < Slay the Hobgoblin Lord > >

< < Rescue Prisoners > >

< < Recover Stolen Artefacts > >

< Optional Objectives >

< < Deliver Hobgoblin Lord’s head to Centrum District > >

< < Eliminate all Goblins > >

< < Save all Prisoners > >

< < Recover all Artefacts > >

That is an insane amount of money! With all four objectives completed, that’s twenty-thousand Silvers!

It was clear from the reward alone that he’d be dead if he tried this Contract. Not to mention that it was also far beyond the city wall, and he’d never even left Eventide, let alone fought a Goblin. Plus, with prisoners mixed in, along with a ‘Lord’ and potentially-dangerous Artefacts, this was the sort of Contract that probably required two A-tiers to complete. It also wasn’t lost on him that Harmon had passed it up, though perhaps that was simply due to the inconvenience of travelling to Duskfall, which was far to the northwest.

System, show me the top three you’d recommend for me.

< < Adjusting Parameters > >

< < Private Contract available > >

< < Rotten Flower in the Bouquet > >

Just one… I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.

[Given your Proficiency, Rank, and experience, this would be the optimal Contract for you.]

Appreciate the forethought.

System, show me the details.

< < Contract — Rotten Flower in the Bouquet (Private) > >

< < Rewards — 1200 Silver Coins & 1 Proficiency Point > >

< Main Objectives >

< < Assassinate the Courtesan responsible for the death of ‘Camilla Violet’ > >

< Optional Objectives >

< < Find the Target without raising suspicion > >

< < Avoid detection > >

< < Leave no trace behind > >

< < Arrange the death to appear like an accident > >

A lot of money, even without the Optionals, but just one Point. That tracks I guess.

Still, it has an element of investigation to it, which is interesting, although I also become judge and executioner…

System, what is the deadline?

[Two weeks.]

That’s pretty tight. Guess I’ll check back later.

Ashlan took a step back from the Contract Slate and Anisette immediately moved up to take his spot. With rapid finger movements, she manipulated the scrolling text and landed on the Private Contract he’d just looked at, ‘The Goblin Fortress’.

“I can help you do this Contract if you tell me about your Skill.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Even if we split the reward, that’s an insane amount of money. No way this isn’t some kind of trap. Besides, I have no way to really contribute to a Contract like that and I don’t know if she’s strong enough to do it all alone…

“I’ll think about it,” he told her vaguely. “For now I have to get going.”

Anisette reached out and grabbed a hold of his shirt.

“You will come back later, right?”

“…Probably.”

She let go of him.

“We will talk then.”

I should probably just tell her everything I know so she’ll leave me alone, otherwise I think she’ll harass me non-stop…

“Ani, be kind to Ashlan,” Estrid scolded her from nearby, where she’d been watching the exchange. Then she turned to him, “Did you already receive your first Contract?”

He nodded. “That’s right. I was a bit surprised as well.”

“I believe it is a good sign,” she told him.

“Let’s hope so.”

Ashlan had been on the way out into the Undercity, when Anisette stopped him again. Instead of asking more questions, she lent him a tool similar to the one Vagan had used to light the torch the day before. She said he could borrow it for now, since she didn’t need it. It was clear she wanted him to come back quickly.

The journey through the tunnels and chambers was helped by his full stomach and the provisions that Estrid had packed into his little belt bag. That woman was truly a saint in his eyes.

Despite Vagan’s prior concerns about Maggie Margot’s lack of motivation to her Profession, Ashlan thought it was astounding that none of the other five members were lazy bums, who exploited the free boarding and food. Had he been of the same defeatist mindset as other F-tiers, then he’d surely have taken advantage of the benefits of his Guild.

Although, I’d probably go crazy if all I did was lay about in an underground Guild and grow fat on Estrid’s cooking.

As much as I appreciate the free room, I know I need to find someplace that’s topside. If possible, a place where Frelly could visit would be nice as well.

However, the issue was that, as James the Landlord had said, Death-dealers were not welcome everywhere. This meant that the only places, which would actually let Ashlan rent a room, were the ones where the cost afforded the renters a certain status. As in, the luxury apartments of White Coast, the gated two-stories near the Waterfront Opera in Oceanview, or basically any of the mansions in the Eastside or Goldentide districts.

Maybe I should take Anisette up on her gracious offer after all… No way I’m getting a place for less than three-thousand per week.

It took a bit of meandering and back-tracking, but Ashlan managed to eventually find the exit to Archive, or that was at least what he was guessing he’d found. Given how the tunnels and chambers hardly displayed signs of the city above, it was tough to figure out which exit led to where, without prior knowledge.

Maybe I’m way off and this is somehow inside the Plaza district. Or maybe even Craft?

That’d certainly be convenient.

One of the chambers he’d passed by was full of luminescent fungus, which made him fairly sure he would come up somewhere within a park. Given that Craft didn’t have any of those, as far as he knew, it was a safe bet that he was going to come out in Plaza, on the fake balcony that Vagan had mentioned lay in Hrothgar’s Place.

He climbed up a spiralling staircase, before hitting the top landing a lot sooner than expected.

That’s odd…

After touching his hand to the symbol on the wall and opening the way out, he cringed at what he saw. However, backtracking from here would be a bigger pain than what lay before him, so he placed his torch in an empty holder and stepped out through the opening.

No sooner was he through than the false wall swung shut again. Ashlan sighed as he took in his surroundings.

Of all the places…

It was the round chamber of a crypt. The kind of thing only found in the Grave district.

All around him on the wall were shelves lined with urns. Although he wasn’t an expert on such things, he thought there was something off about them, given that each had a handprint moulded into the front. Along with the familiar symbol, the urns were decorated in different colours and styles, as though an artist had taken great care to represent the deceased in colour and feeling alone. Some of them looked quite old, but the chamber itself was well-maintained, so it was difficult to pin an age to it, though it was at least a century he thought.

I suppose this is better than a simple white urn without trace of the person inside its confines.

He walked out of the chamber, but not before taking a good look at each of the many tiny works of art. The place certainly seemed to belong to some wealthy dynasty, though there was a distinct lack of family crests or unifying colours to tie it all together. Not to mention, the wealthy preferred coffins, not urns.

Even in death they want to show off… No, an urn is preferable I think.

Beyond the round room was a small antechamber up six shallow steps, but it lacked any clues to who could be buried here. It had another corridor that led to what seemed to be a similar chamber full of urns.

Part of him wanted to check it out as well, but he knew it was a bad idea to linger, lest some mourning family member comes to visit and finds him trespassing. As such, he made his way up the six steps that led to the exit.

No sooner had Ashlan stepped outside, than a shadow fell over him and he instinctively froze, as though moving would put him in danger.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” said a wispy voice. It belonged to a woman, though he couldn’t tell the age by sound alone.

Ashlan carefully turned to take in the person who’d ambushed him. It was a woman in her mid-forties, judging by her appearance, since she displayed the sort of wrinkles near the mouth and eyebrows that were indicative of someone in that range. Somehow though, he felt that his eyes betrayed him.

The woman wore a cowled dark-grey robe and her pale face was covered in the shade of the hood. Although her complexion was similar to that of a Witchfell native, there were subtle hints, like her facial structure, which pointed to her being of Eventide stock like Ashlan. Her eyes were black dots and her hair was shock-white, making him wonder if it was due to a Skill, unique heritage, or age.

“Most of your kind tend to avoid this place.”

She seemed to register his confusion.

“I suppose no one has warned you about me. That’s to be expected. But sooner or later you all come to know me anyway.”

She was leaning on a cane formed from the gnarled limb of some twisted tree and lacquered black.

Wait a minute.

“Are you a Gravetender?”

“Who else would dress like me?”

“Fair point.”

I think she has some kind of Skill that allows her to know when people are moving around within the crypts. It might potentially extend to all of the district, or at least all the parts where people are buried.

It was rumoured that Gravetenders had some special way of detecting grave robbers and trespassers, and Ashlan couldn’t think of any other way that she’d have known he was here. Unless of course it had just been due to random luck.

“Isn’t there an S-tier Gravetender here as well?” he asked.

“Ava? She’s sleeping. You’ll have to settle for dusty old me.”

She wheezed out a laugh.

“Granted, when I’m gone and buried, she’ll be the one taking care of this crypt.”

He turned back around to look at the structure. From outside, it was a half-buried blocky stone building, both of the rounded chambers’ roofs covered by a square bit of stone. It was very unimpressive when seen from here.

“I couldn’t figure out what dynasty it belongs to, but I’m guessing you are familiar with the handprint on the wall.”

“Yes, I’m familiar with the doorway, as well as all those who come through here. After all, this is the Assassins’ Tomb.”

Ashlan blinked. Her reply unfortunately made a lot of sense, now that he thought about it. There was no way the crypt wasn’t hundreds of years old, since it served as the Undercity entrance for the Grave district, and even the Goldentide family didn’t go back that far. The reason the urns had been so distinct was no doubt because they dated back to Eventide’s founding, and the number, which had seemed so vast, was in truth not that big, if the immense time-scale was considered. But the number of urns made sense, when the city only ever had six Assassins at a time.

“That means the previous Guild Leader is buried here,” he said.

“Victoria Rose. I spoke with her often. She was one of the few who frequented this doorway.”

“I’m the one who replaced her.”

The Gravetender nodded. “The famous F-tier Assassin. Your reputation precedes you.”

Ashlan grimaced at her words.

“How is Vagan faring, now that he’s in charge?”

“He’s trying his best,” Ashlan replied, not really sure if it was the truth or not. He had a good heart, but he was clearly unable to look past his own perspective in some ways, given his comments on the actions of those born less fortunate than himself.

“Kick him in the shin and tell him to come visit me. It’s tradition, you know.”

“I’ll try.”

“Though I must say, auspicious to be assigned your first System Contract so soon.”

“How do you know I’m here on a Contract?”

She gestured around them with her cane. “Why else would you come here?”

“Maybe I’m just exploring?”

“You aren’t very good at lying.”

“Isn’t it a conflict of interest for Assassins and Gravetenders to be in cahoots?”

“Gravetenders like Ava and I don’t work on commission you know. We’re paid a weekly salary by the System on behalf of the city.”

He had a thought, based on her wording. “Is your number also a fixed quota like Assassins?”

“That’s right. It’s just two, since the System likes to assign Gravetenders at least B-tier. It went a bit overboard with Ava and gave her S-tier, but, if you ask me, it’s because war is brewing.”

War? With which nation? he wondered. Relations between Eventide and Duskfall were tense, but not to that extent, and the nation got along well with Witchfell and Gravegarden.

“What kind of war?”

The lady shrugged. “No clue, but the System is always several steps ahead. Have you ever seen how some animals react days in advance to earthquakes? I think the System is like that, but on a grander scale. And when the time comes, bodies will be piled in the streets if Ava and I are insufficiently-powerful.”

He mulled it over. This S-tier, Ava, was assigned six years ago. I don’t think the System can look that far into the future. But maybe it was just hedging its bets on there being some mass casualty event and decided to prepare far in advance?

“Since you’re so familiar with my Guild, do you know a lot about killing people?”

“What is this, an interview?” the Gravetender asked with a wheezy laugh.

“I’m just curious.”

“Your predecessors didn’t exactly go around sharing trade secrets, but, when it comes to the human body, our Profession has quite a few Skills related to how to cut it up and preserve it, which imbues us with extensive knowledge of anatomy. You’d best fear the day a Gravetender falls from the System’s light.”

True, a Gravetender gone amok would be frightening.

“I don’t really know how to ask the other Assassins for guidance, so would you mind if I come back here sometime and pick your brain?”

“Bad choice of words for a Gravetender. And I don’t do consultant work. At least not for free.”

Ashlan nodded. If she lived off a fixed stipend from the System, then she’d obviously try to sell her knowledge.

It wouldn’t be a bad investment of Silvers though, given that good lessons like that are hard to come by and should theoretically help me become more proficient at my Profession.

“How much?”

“There’s this brandy that is brewed in Bulwark district, known as ‘Black Oil’. Bring me a bottle of that and I’ll sing like a bird.”

Bulwark? That’s pretty far. No idea how much brandy costs or if this one is an expensive rarity, but I’m willing to bet it isn’t cheap. Still, I’m sure she’ll have lots of useful insights that could benefit me.

“Deal.”

“Make sure you come in the morning. We do most our work after dark.”

He involuntarily shuddered when he recalled the reason behind their peculiar work schedule.

“Well, when you see me again, I’ll have the brandy with me.”

“You’d better,” she replied with a grin. “Name’s Licia by the way.”

“I’m Ashlan.”

She slapped the side of his thigh with her cane. “Get going. And good luck with your Contract.”

He grinned as he left, then jogged past other crypts and a small park, while heading southeast to the Craft district.

-----------------------------

The first Assassination Contract starts with the next chapter, so look forward to that.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -137

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Chapter -137

---

WARNING!

Now entering level 12 Challenge Dungeon ‘Dreamland’!

Challenge

‘Wake the Dreamer’

---

The four of us arrived into the strangest interior I’d yet to see. Actually, to call it an ‘interior’ was wildly misleading, as there were no walls to speak of at all.

“What the hell is this place?” Chris wondered out loud.

“I just received an achievement,” Steve said.

“Me too,” the Backstabber replied.

“They must be talking about the Challenge Dungeon achievement you also got,” Panda explained.

I’d forgotten about ever receiving such a thing, though I did vaguely recall hunting Logan down within such a place.

Still, ‘Dreamland’ was far from anything else I’d ever seen. Below our feet were pillowy clouds suffused with a golden light and arrayed out before us were floating clouds that led upwards like the giant steps of a staircase. Behind where we’d all arrived was just a straight drop down into a white void of nothingness.

As Tina began walking forward, still hugging the Metro Train Brain in her arms, Steve and Chris seemed to be reading their achievements. I knelt down and looked out over the edge.

“I need something to throw at it.”

“Why?” Panda asked.

“I wanna see how far down it actually is, and whether there’s a Dungeon Barrier.”

I tried to pull off a bit of the soft cloud and compact it into a ball, but it just evaporated in my hands.

“Hmm…”

“You still have a screwdriver in your inventory,” Panda told me. “Y’know, the one Steve stabbed you with.”

At his words, the Birthday Brat glanced towards me, worried.

“Don’t worry, Stevie-boy. I already repaid you that by knocking you out. And also by kicking you in the nuts.”

Despite my assurances, Steve didn’t look any less concerned.

I pulled out the screwdriver, and then got back to my feet. While pinching the flat tip between the fingers of my purple balloon gauntlet, I pulled my arm back behind my head, before sending it flying down towards the bottomless white abyss.

It travelled about twenty feet before hitting solid ground with a loud clunk.

“Weird,” I muttered as the impact left no visible damage on the ‘floor’.

Then exactly 3 seconds later an explosion followed, blowing open a hole in the white bottom of the dungeon.

“Oh, right, already forgot I picked that passive.”

“Surprising that, despite having a memory like a sieve, you were somehow still able to complete the Metro Train’s puzzle.”

“I’m a special boy, Panda. My genius cannot be described in simple terms.”

“Sure...”

“What’s that?” Chris asked, as he leaned over the edge of our cloud to look down at the hole I’d made, noticing the screaming tapestry of faces seemingly constructed from woven hair.

“It’s the Dungeon Barrier,” I told him.

“What’s it do?”

“It keeps everyone intact,” Panda said, though, as with the countless times before, Chris couldn’t hear him.

“Don’t look at it too much,” Steve warned him. “It’ll make you go insane.”

Chris immediately pulled back.

“Where’s Tina?” I asked, looking around.

The others looked around as well, before Panda pointed way above, on a cloud platform in the distance. “She’s taking the lead.”

We immediately moved to follow her.

Thanks to my high stats and the passives that boosted my jumping power, I was able to hop from cloud-to-cloud, while Steve lacked far behind, and Chris used some teleportation ability, similar to the one he’d used against the Psychiatrist when we’d reunited earlier.

After reaching the top of the twenty-plus cloud steps, we found Tina standing there, waiting for us. She took off her left high heel and immediately punted the cube brain back down the way we’d come, managing to hit Steve smackdab in the forehead and knocking him flat on his back with a loud grunt.

“Nice kick,” I told her.

“That’s the Temple she was talking about earlier, right?” Chris asked, while Tina and I were watching Steve’s pathetically-slow progress below.

I spun around to see what he was talking about. The cloud we were atop of was way bigger than any of the ones below. At the far end was a structure definitely best described as a ‘temple’. It was like the Greek Parthenon, as it had a large marble base with steps leading up its tall sides and atop of which were towering pillars holding up a roof, which sloped to the left and right with a central ridge down the middle.

“The ‘Brawn won’t save you’ achievement I got when we entered, said that in order to beat this Challenge Dungeon, we have to wake up the Dreamer. He must be in there, right?”

It seemed that they’d received the same notification as me, but in achievement form.

“Do you think the Dreamer is your brother?” I asked him.

He frowned, but then said, “Let’s go check.”

Suddenly a massive serpent of neon-green energy emerged from the air in front of Tina, before slithering down the steps and scooping up Steve, only to return back to where we stood and dumping him on his ass in front of us. Then it disappeared into the air.

“I thought you had a lot of points in Dexterity, so you could always run away from trouble,” I remarked. “This sort of climb should be nothing for you.”

“His Stamina score is low,” Tina said, as though she’d seen Steve’s status screen.

“Isn’t your Class based on Vitality and Wisdom?” Panda asked.

The Birthday Brat hung his head in shame.

Meanwhile, Tina poked her finger into the air and a little metal-and-flesh snake appeared around her neck. It was basically just a miniature version of the Metro Train we’d just defeated.

“Look Gambit! Isn’t it cute?”

“Is that Lil Metro?”

She nodded eagerly.

“She really likes snakes,” Chris commented.

I wanted to warn him against insulting her obsession, but she had pretty good hearing, so I kept my mouth shut.

“Let’s go to the Temple,” Tina urged, before immediately walking off in that direction.

I followed after her, with the other two falling in behind me.

As we reached the large marble steps, I skipped all three by leaping from the cloud.

Tina was quick to follow, but Chris stayed back to help the Birthday Brat get up and over each of them. I wondered why he was being so friendly towards the guy for no reason, especially since he’d exhibited a very strong lone wolf attitude the first time we’d met.

“He’s being influenced by the weird part of Steve’s Class that makes people like him,” Panda said assertively.

“Ugh. Hopefully Immorality’s Curse can break him out of that shit. It’s weird.”

After passing the pillars that surrounded the outside of the temple and held up its ceiling, we went through a large opening in the thick marble walls and came into a vast space that was full of sleeping people. Each person had a pillow under their head, although many of them were bloodstained.

“Look!” Panda said, pointing to a group of sleepers with black carapace bodies.

All of them had bloodstained pillows.

I pulled out my broken Looking Glass and appraised one:

“I didn’t know they could enter dungeons…” I muttered. This really raised some uncomfortable questions, since I’d thought for sure that being inside a dungeon meant you were safe, as it might compromise the balance of the Great Game if the Agencies could just pop in whenever.

“Perhaps the CPS follows a different set of rules,” Panda guessed. Although, if you’ll recall, when the Great Game started, you were told to stay put in the Asylum dungeon so they could come investigate you...”

Chris suddenly ran ahead of us, calling out the name of his little brother.

“James! Where are you!?”

I followed after him, weaving between the many sleepers on the floor of the great Dreamland Temple, while scanning the people with my Looking Glass. The majority of them were very low-leveled, and I wondered if perhaps being trapped here had saved them from the first Game Event. There were also some that were level 8, 9, and 10, with a single person at 12.

“Christ in heaven, there must be seventy people in here,” Steve said, his voice echoing through the interior in a way that made me able to hear him even though he was still at the entrance next to Tina.

“About 80% of the people in here are dead,” Panda said. “But if you can complete the Dungeon, you can save a lot of people.”

“I only care about saving Bee. These people will die if they leave anyway.”

“That’s cold, Gambit.”

“It’s the truth. If they’re below level 8, it’ll be really difficult for them to gain enough levels in time for the Second Event that’ll start later today.”

The plushie crossed his arms and frowned.

“Meow?”

“What?? I’m not that evil. Fucking hell, Lordie…”

“Meow…”

“No, that’s messed up.”

“What?” Panda asked, worried.

“He said that, if they’re going to die, I might as well kill them myself and loot their stuff.”

“I think we should be worried about this little psychopath maturing,” Panda commented.

Just then, Chris dropped to his knees next to a body that lay towards the back of the Temple.

I ran to catch up to him, seeing a smaller version of the Backstabber, with the same pudgy face and dirty-blonde hair, wearing soft blue pajamas and his head on a clean pillow. There was no blood on it. As I looked at the people around him, I realized all of them were Minor Collectors, and all their pillows were red. In fact, in a circle outward from the Wayward Minor were nothing but dead sleepers…

“Don’t touch him!” Panda exclaimed.

But Chris couldn’t hear him.

When he put his hand on his little brother’s shoulder, a pulse went through the interior of the Temple and our surroundings changed to the middle of a cornfield, with green stalks rising high above our heads.

---

Challenge Updated

‘Find the Dreamer and wake him’

‘Don’t let the Nightmares find you’

---

“Ah shit,” I muttered.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -136

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Time here in Denmark already transitioned to Winter Time, hence why this chapter might seem to arrive later than usual. Granted, it's still 1:30 AM as I'm writing this >.<

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Chapter -136

The entire Madeville Metro Station platform was immediately flooded, as enough water to fill an Olympic swimming pool rushed towards us. Except, it wasn’t water. It was blood that, despite its viscosity, came like one massive tsunami.

Behind his Birthday Table, Steve was immediately swept away, Nina and Chris quickly followed suit. The Venomancer had clearly prepared for shrapnel similar to when a Taxi creature died, but, despite the Metro Train having a body that was at least half metal, it was only blood that came at us.

Steve flew past me aboard a crimson wave shouting for help, then the blood swept me off my feet as well. All the while, the water level rose and pushed us all towards the ceiling.

“Swim towards the stairs!” Chris yelled to everyone.

I tumbled around while quickly being pushed towards the back wall opposite the track, where the Monstrosity had died. Its body was blocking the tunnel almost perfectly, meaning that the blood couldn’t escape that way, which added a lot more pressure behind it.

“Aim your feet towards the wall and use Spring Heel to launch yourself to the right,” Panda told me, his voice clear in my ears, even though he had vanished from my shoulder.

I curled up my legs and tried to orient myself properly. Then I felt the soles of my Schmonic Boots touch something solid and immediately kicked off, triggering my passive.

But the current and pressure from the blood, which seemed to still shoot gleefully out of the large Metro Train’s corpse, had other ideas for where I was going. I wasn’t planning on drowning though.

I swung Brock behind me and punched against the water. The boost from SPRING_HEEL, as well as his innate boost to impact, created a massive bubble that exploded and flung me towards the staircase.

My knees and palms hit solid ground, and I quickly pulled myself from the water’s grasp and moved up the stairs, while it bubbled up the steps behind me.

Nina and Chris arrived shortly after me, with the Venomancer dragging a neon-green rope tied around the Birthday Brat’s waist.

As soon as she was out of the insidious blood, Nina’s hair evaporated and she turned back into Tina.

Chris helped Steve to his feet, and the four of us hurried up towards fresh air, while more and more blood followed behind us.

“So much for going back that way,” Chris muttered.

“It was designed for just one-way travel,” Panda remarked, even though the Backstabber couldn’t hear him. He was back on my shoulder, though I had no idea where he’d gone earlier. Unsurprisingly, he was spotless.

We emerged out onto the street at the top of the stairwell, but none of us stopped, as the rush of the crimson flood was right on our heels.

Tina pointed straight across the street. “Nina said the Lost Child is in there.”

On the other side, set into a four-story red brick building, was a furniture store, which specialized in bedroom interior, called ‘Sweet Dreams’. Its windows were frosted and impossible to see through, and it had an old-timey white wooden door with a curled metal handle.

Chris immediately ran out in front of us, obviously eager to find his brother. The rest of us weren’t far behind. The street itself was crowded with abandoned cars and scooters, those infernal things that a lot of Madeville people used. To my excitement, there was a deep furrow in the asphalt, left behind by something heavy pulling itself around, and the vehicles were pushed aside where they’d been blocking its route.

Behind us, the Metro Train’s blood had reached the top of the stairwell and was spreading out onto the sidewalk. It probably wasn’t good that the Human-Eater was defeated, since the Great Game had a tendency to fill any vacuums left behind by strong monsters or entities perishing, but holding back from killing things because I was scared of the consequences was not something I did.

We reached the door to Sweet Dreams, just as the reward achievement hit.

A brain cube landed in front of all four of us. Steve and Chris both looked horrified by the thing, the latter a bit more, probably because he thought he’d have to eat it, like with the Unicorn Liver.

“Did everyone else get a message about a Lust Duchess lending a servant to replace the Metro Train?” I asked.

They all looked at me and it was immediately obvious that they hadn’t.

“Nevermind then…” I muttered, before inspecting the cube.

Without hesitation, I took a step back, pulled my right Schmonic Boot off, and then punted the brain as hard as I could towards the top of the Metro Station’s flooded stairwell. It went right into the blood still bubbling up from below and disappeared from sight a second later.

“Goal!!” Brock squealed excitedly.

“I’m picking the delayed damage one,” I immediately said and clicked it.

I already had enough in the way of transportation, so I didn’t need the other two. Not to mention, if I got a hold of the Humanbus in Madeville, then I could use my Safe Zone Sphere to turn it into my own personal transport. Or well, that was the idea anyway.

“Breezy won’t like this,” Panda muttered to himself.

“Why not?”

“The damage potential for Pow Punch will skyrocket.”

“Why are you upset about that?”

“Breezy will definitely take it away if he has to come correct it again.”

“How bad can it be? Like, what’s the maximum potential damage if I have 30 punches stored up?”

“I’m not 100% sure, but I think it would be like 150 trillion damage…”

I blinked. “Woah.”

“Still, that’s not even close to what you already pulled off, but it’s more than enough to kill anything in front of you. I’ve also been wondering what’d have happened if you’d used the original version of Pow outside of the Broadcast HQ. Pretty sure you’d have destroyed all of Castleburg in the direction you punched.”

“So, what’s my safe range of punches when I’m at max potential?”

“4 or 5…”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. 4 punches would be 600 thousand damage. 5 would be 5.1 million.”

Chris and Steve both suddenly punted their brain cubes. Tina was hugging hers for some reason.

“Guess I won’t use Pow with these guys around,” I whispered so only Panda could hear.

Nonetheless, I was excited about using my full potential against the Queen of the assholes that’d taken Bee from me.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -135

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Finally finished editing on Isekai Exorcist Book 1 today, so I have a lot more time again suddenly... Until I need to start editing the next book <.<

Anyway, sorry for the one day delay!

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Chapter -135

“Three more to go,” Panda said encouragingly as I arrived in carriage number 7.

“I have to finish the 9th carriage as well? Thought I only had two more to go…”

Chris arrived in the air above me and I caught him in my arms like a damsel in distress.

Our eyes met and his expression was a mix of disgust and embarrassment.

“Uh… Please put me down,” he requested.

“No need to be shy,” Panda teased, even though the guy still couldn’t hear him.

I scanned the interior in front of me for what felt like the hundredth time, while Chris moved down towards the back exit.

“It’s too many carriages,” I grumbled.

“It kind of lost my interest after the first three,” Panda chimed in.

“You’re not even contributing…”

“Mascot, remember?”

“You can’t just decide on your own that you’re the mascot. That’s not how it works.”

“Meow.”

“Exactly,” I replied.

“What did that little creep say about me!?” Panda demanded. “I just know he’s talking shit about me!”

“He actually said that I’d be lucky to have such an adorable mascot as you,” I translated.

The plushie paused. “Wait, really?”

I chuckled. “No, of course not. He said he’s the true mascot of the team.”

“Uh, Gambit?” Chris said, but I ignored him.

“And you agreed with him!?” Panda replied, clearly taking this topic very serious.

“Listen, Panda—”

“Gambit!”

“Not now Chris,” I replied, annoyed at being interrupted. “To be a proper mascot, you have to be supportive.”

“And!? What are you trying to tell me!?” Panda shot back.

“You’re a downer. You always—”

“Gambit!!” Chris urged.

Panda and I both turned to look at him. “What!? Can’t you see I’m talking!?”

“Behind you!” he yelled.

I spun around, just as an enormous double-jointed arm was three inches away from grabbing my head with its seven-fingered hand. It had entered through the frontmost right-side door without me even noticing.

“Oh shit, Anomaly!”

I ducked low and half-crawled half-ran along the metal floor towards the back exit, while the arm suddenly picked up speed to try and grab us.

Chris pulled the door open and I leapt through.

---

Correct!

Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 8/9…

---

I landed hard on my stomach in the second-to-last carriage, quickly rolling aside just as Chris appeared above me and belly-flopped onto the floor as well.

“Ugh!” he exclaimed loudly.

I got up and began the search anew, running through my mental checklist, while also scrutinizing the doors and windows. As before, the anomalous carriages were of little concern and my true worry was with getting false negatives, but, with time quickly slipping away as the Metro Train thundered towards its destination, I didn’t have the time to investigate too deeply either.

“Candy wrappers, check!” Chris said out loud.

I glanced across the floor, but then shook my head and decided to trust him on this, while scanning the posters.

“Posters clear,” I said.

Chris ran past me, stopping by each of the monitors above the doors.

“Doors look ‘normal’,” he then said.

I counted the ghosts, checked the benches, and spun around a couple times to see if anything stood out to me or not.

“I think there’s no anomaly here,” I then said.

“Me too,” Chris agreed.

We both moved to the front exit and I went through first.

---

Incorrect!

Anomaly Not Found!

You have lost a life!

Lives remaining 1/3!

Returning to Carriage 8/9…

---

“Son of a!”

Chris landed next to me. “Damn! I thought for sure we had it!”

“It was probably the candy wrappers,” Panda commented.

“Are you trying to sow discord between me and my best friend!?” I accused the plushie.

Chris cast me an uncomfortable glance, but I assuaged his worries by running Brock along his cheek.

“Brock’s ya best pal!!” the balloon gauntlet squealed in protest.

---

Warning!

Arriving at destination shortly!

Hurry up or be devoured!

---

The timer on the screens above the doors stated there were only 2 minutes left.

“We’d better hurry,” Chris said.

I shook my head with a smug grin on my face. “I’ve got this.”

---

BAD CATCHPHRASE!

You have taken 1 point of damage.

---

“Ow.”

“You’ve gotta stop saying that,” Panda scolded me.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked.

“Just watch. Dungeon-Break.”

---

ERROR!

Player Abilities and Passives are disabled for the duration of the Mini GAME!

---

I frowned.

“Dungeon-Break,” I repeated.

---

ERROR!

Player Abilities and Passives are disabled for the duration of the Mini GAME!

---

“…Maybe I’m pronouncing it wrong.”

“Gambit! It’s clearly not working, face the facts! Also, it’s still on cooldown, so it’s pointless!” Panda yelled.

I frowned.

“Alright, we might be fucked. If we get it wrong again, I’ll actually die…”

“Good thing this one’s an anomaly then!” Chris exclaimed, pointing at the floor near the front exit, where a large dark hole full of teeth was coming towards us, swallowing up the benches and the apparitions sitting on them.

“Lucky break!” I said as we ran towards the back exit.

---

Correct!

Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 9/9…

---

I landed on my feet.

“Just one m—” Panda started to say, before yelping in surprise at the figure awaiting us.

Chris landed next to me, then yelped as well, though his reason seemed to be due to what was at the front of the carriage.

“The Cold-hearted Survivor and Glitched Prophet arrive at last,” Nina remarked, her neon-green hair moving around atop her head as though alive.

The title she used for me was surprising, but my immediate concern was the thing she was standing next to: a quivering cube of purple brain matter hovering between the walls, floor, and ceiling, while spinning slightly. Two-thirds of the carriage was business as usual, but where the brain cube hovered was fully organic, with the benches and other things gone and replaced by a windowless fleshy interior with no exit.

I walked up next to her. “Do you want me to do the honors?”

She nodded once.

I squeezed my gauntleted fist and Brock let out a little happy squeal. Then I rammed him into the cube.

Hitokui Chika, the Human-eating Metro Train, arrived at the Madeville Subway Station, sliding into the only track available and coming to a rest. No sooner had it parked itself, than Steve, Chris, Nina, and I all leapt out of the doorway that’d opened in the side of its ‘head’.

As we all rolled across the tiles of the platform and hurried to find cover, I ran behind one of the pillars, while Nina raised a wall of neon-green energy in front of her and Chris, and Steve used an ability I hadn’t seen before.

“Birthday Table!”

A long wooden table appeared in front of him, covered with a plastic tablecloth in a myriad of colors and decorated with pictures of balloons, presents, and sprinkles, for some reason. Atop it was a big birthday cake with a candle shaped like the number ‘47’ and there were disposable plates and plastic utensils placed at even intervals atop it, with enough for a party of fourteen people to attend.

I had no idea what the purpose of the ability was, but, regardless, Steve flipped it on its side, spilling cake, plates, and utensils onto the floor of the platform, before hiding behind it.

Then the Metro Train exploded.

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F-tier Assasin - Chapter 8

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Apparently I wrote the wrong date on the last chapter, as it said the next chapter would be on the 26th instead of the 25th. Anyway, here it is, a day 'early' I guess, lol.

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Chapter 8

James the Landlord was huddled into a corner and Dogface was knocked out with his head buried in the ruined drawers of a desk. After the Brawler had broken out of the apartment Ashlan had trapped him in and found the trio inside James’ caged-in office, Tommy had hurled the guy face-first into the desk, sending his ugly mug through the wooden panels of the drawers.

“If you don’t get a combat Assignment, then there’s something wrong with the System,” Ashlan muttered.

“I didn’t even throw him that hard,” he protested.

“I knew you were trouble!” squealed James.

He was a pale spindly man, who, despite earning quite a sum from working as the Landlord of the entire building, refused to spend any money on himself. His dark hair was dishevelled and clumpy, his simple hemp shirt and pants were threadbare, and he had a bitter anxious smell about him. His humble state might’ve been considered respectable, if not for the fact that it stemmed from a miserly and paranoid fear.

In other apartment blocks, the Landlords would usually reinvest some of the money they acquired, in order to maintain the place and have a reason to increase rent down the line. James’ block was a dump because the man never followed the others’ example, but that was also the reason why Ashlan had been able to move in to begin with. Still, he couldn’t understand why the guy just hoarded all his money.

Landlord is one of the rarer Assignments after all, and everybody knows that they earn more than most, even if they’re E-tier like this schmuck.

“Give me back my stuff,” he demanded.

James uncurled himself from the corner a little and said, “You don’t live here anymore! Anything left in the apartment after you move out belongs to the Landlord! It’s in the agreement you signed!”

“You kicked me out without even giving me a chance to get my things!” Ashlan shot back.

James glanced towards the exit of his office, but Tommy was standing there like an impenetrable barrier. Then he glared back at the Assassin.

“You know the policy! No death-dealers! It’s your own fault for not coming here right after your Assignment was declared!” he exclaimed, his voice high-pitched and grating.

I didn’t have a choice…

“What’s a death-dealer?” Frelly asked.

The cheerful Thief was a free spirit who slept wherever she fancied, though of course many Landlords also wouldn’t let Unassignable live in their buildings, as they were considered a liability because they didn’t have a stable income. Still, despite her exclusion from most social circles, it was a surprise to Ashlan that she didn’t know the term.

“He means any Profession that deals with death. Executioners, Gravetenders, Butchers, Assassins, and sometimes Smugglers and Thieves too,” Tommy said.

“That’s dumb,” she remarked. “What about Ash’s dad? He’s a Tanner, he works with parts of dead animals. Right?.”

“The focus is on those who deal death,” he replied.

“Then why are Gravetenders on there? And what about Swordsmen and other warrior Assignments?”

That’s a good question that no one ever has a satisfying answer to…

“I haven’t killed anyone,” Ashlan defended himself.

“Yet! But everybody knows you’re an Assassin! You signed the agreement before you moved in, so whatever we found in your apartment belongs to me now!” James squealed, perhaps feeling like the paper Ashlan had signed ages ago somehow protected him.

In actuality, those who’d make sure such deals were upheld, such as the Sentinels, rarely got involved with Northside. Instead they left the enforcement to the individual Landlords, and this meant that the strongest got to make the rules.

Ashlan took a step towards him, trying to appear as threatening as possible. “I’ll give you one more chance to give me back my money, James.”

“Or what!?”

There was one window that lit up the little caged-in office and Ashlan stepped past its narrow beam of light, before activating Lurk. As James gasped in surprise, he quickly moved around behind the man and clamped his right hand down on the side of his neck.

“Or else I will take it,” he whispered directly into the Landlord’s ear.

“I can’t believe he’d pass out like that,” Frelly said, as they were leaving Northside some minutes later.

After Ashlan’s performance had frightened James enough to make him faint, the trio looted his office and split the reward between themselves. The Landlord was smarter than they’d given him credit for, since there’d only been about six-hundred Silvers’ worth of stuff, meaning he kept the rest of his ill-gotten hoard in a secret location. There was no way he’d be using a bank, since that cost money to establish.

Once they’d split the coins, Frelly demanded half of Ashlan’s, which he easily agreed to. After all, it was about the same amount that he’d originally hid under the floorboards of his apartment and had promised away to her, meaning he was still left with a hundred more than anticipated.

“I’m going to take this back to my Mom and tell her we’re moving,” Tommy said, as they reached the start of the Archive district, which was sandwiched between Northside and Plaza.

He’d often talked about wanting to move and given that they’d basically just robbed the Landlord, it was probably a good time for him to do so.

“What are you gonna do, Ash?” he asked, looking at him.

Ashlan sighed. “I don’t know, man. I doubt I’ll find a different apartment in Northside. But I also don’t have the money to move somewhere they don’t have a policy against my kind…”

I guess I’ll be returning to the Guild sooner than expected…

Wasn’t really the plan, but I suppose it was naïve to believe they’d let me stay despite my Profession.

“You can always come live with me,” Frelly said cheerfully. She had made three-hundred Silvers, so of course her mood was up. Though she was rarely ever down in the dumps about anything, which Ashlan envied about her.

“I’m not going to sleep rough again. Last time was bad enough,” he replied, recalling when he’d taken her up on the offer once, only to discover that Frelly made a habit of sleeping in the doorways of shops, atop roofs exposed to the elements, or in the trees within one of Greenhill’s parks.

“I think I’ll go back to the Guild. The bed was nice and the Maid makes amazing food.”

Tommy gave him a dumbfounded look. “Your Guild has a Maid?”

“A Chaplain too.”

“That makes sense at least. But why a Maid?”

Ashlan shrugged.

“Are you allowed to bring guests?” he asked, clearly jealous.

“Unfortunately, no.”

Tommy frowned, before saying, “Well, I’ll see you around. Don’t be a stranger. And don’t forget. Six weeks and it’s my turn at the podium.”

“I’ll remember,” Ashlan told him.

As the big guy left, he couldn’t help but think to himself: Once he is assigned, I doubt we’ll be able to see much of each other.

Ashlan was betting on Tommy either receiving Sentinel or a warrior-type, such as Swordsman, Protector, or Brawler. Any of those would put them on opposite sides of each other and he even had the fear that they might become directly involved, if Ashlan received a Contract to take out someone Tommy was hired to defend.

“Where to now?” Frelly asked, pulling him from his dark musings. Her cheerful tone made it clear she wanted to spend some of their newfound wealth.

“Let’s find a place to eat in Plaza, then afterwards we’ll go to Greenhill. I want your help finding something there.”

They arrived to Greenhill with about two hours of sunlight left to spare, though Ashlan still hadn’t told Frelly what he was searching for. It was rare for the two of them to hang out and not have some goal centred around making money in mind, so she was obviously curious as to what he could need her help for.

“I’m about to tell you a secret you can’t share with anyone else,” he said dramatically, as they reached Winter’s Garden, the biggest park in the district.

Although there were several parks in Greenhill, Ashlan was banking on this being the one hiding the Undercity entrance, if for no other reason than the fact that it was twice the size of the second-biggest one.

“Well, spit it out.”

“Actually, I’ll wait until we find what I’m looking for.”

“Why are you being so cagey?” she asked, a suspicious tone in her voice, while she prodded him in the side of the head with her index finger.

“It’s huge. Trust me,” he replied, slapping her finger away. “You won’t look at Eventide in the same way after I tell you what it is.”

Frelly’s dark-green eyes narrowed into slits. She knew Ashlan wasn’t someone to make things up. “Now I really want to know what you’re talking about.”

“First we have to find a stone wall or something like it, which has the impression of a hand on it.”

Frelly scoffed. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“You already know where it is?” he asked excitedly. He was only half-surprised, since she spent a lot of time in the parks. No doubt she also knew about the stone stall in the Faraway Markets, though Ashlan wanted to find it for himself without her help.

“Duh.”

“Where is it?”

“I’ll take you to it, if you tell me what it’s for.”

“It’s an entrance.”

“To what?”

“Not so fast,” he shot back with a devious grin.

“There’s another handprint on a part of the city wall in Northside.”

Ashlan nodded without replying. He really wanted to tell her that he’d gone from the Guild to the district through that way, but it would reveal what the entrances were for, and he wanted to truly surprise her by showing it to her directly.

It’s a shame she won’t be able to use the Undercity’s tunnels and chambers herself, since I know she’d be capable of mapping out every corner and discovering all its secrets. But perhaps I can give her supervised rides through the place?

When it was clear that Ashlan wouldn’t reveal anything, until he saw the handprint in Winter’s Garden, Frelly quickly led the way into the park.

The outskirts were defined by a two-metre-high sand-coloured wall and the first thing visitors were treated to were some flowerbeds and small copses of various trees. The reason for the wall was two-fold: it was meant to prevent the plants from spreading beyond the limits of the park; and it would make it hard for the animals living within the large forested area from venturing out into the city, where they would be incapable of surviving.

Greenhill was watched over by an A-tier Gardener with a love for critters, and rumours said she had led a march of animals from the forests beyond Eventide’s walls into Winter’s Garden, in order to create a small ecosystem for the citizens to enjoy.

Past the copses of pine, maple, dogwood, and oak, came artificial hills with snaking paths running around-and-up along them, where small flowerbeds, bushes, and stone decorations filled the gaps between the steps. Some of these hills had tiny lakes at their tops, wherein swam fish, turtles, and ducks.

Beyond the hills came a vast field of grass with a few great trees and large ponds here-and-there, past which a creek bisected the area and led to a ring-shaped hill with one enormous tree in the middle of it. Along the way were stone benches and public restrooms, as well as a few portable shops selling beverages and bits of food for the journey.

Though Ashlan hadn’t come here often, he enjoyed every visit and knew that the Gardeners behind it all truly took pride in their work.

Frelly was running between the trees and hills, as though a wild animal returned to her natural habitat. From the way she effortlessly crawled up and swung from tree branches, vaulted over bushes, and said hello to the critters along the way by calling out their various names, it was clear that this was her true home within the city.

As he did his best to keep up with her eager pace, Ashlan looked around for anything resembling the grates he’d seen underground, but he saw nothing even remotely resembling them. Of course, if it was easy to find them, people would quickly realise there was something below the district and start asking questions that’d lead to the Undercity’s discovery.

Frelly did cartwheels across the large grassy field, only stopping when they reached one of the narrow stone bridges across the creek that led to the ring-shaped hill. Somehow, despite her antics, she’d outpaced Ashlan by a bit.

Just wait until I get some movement Skill to even the balance!

The fact that he needed something like that to be able to match her was quite the testament to her natural talent. It was hard to believe the System was incapable of assigning her to something that satisfied its own requirements and matched her personality. Tracker and Outrider both seemed like Professions that’d perfectly suit her inclinations.

I wonder what exactly decides if a person is Unassignable or not… he thought to himself, as he followed Frelly up the hill.

Perhaps I should ask Harmon about it, since he seems sure that he can predict what Assignments people get when they undertake the Ritual.

“Last to the big tree owes the other fifty Silvers!” Frelly suddenly announced, when Ashlan reached the crest of the ring-shaped hill.

Before he could protest, she took off down the incline and he hurried after her as fast as he could.

The slope down was smoother than the one leading up, and they were both able to pick up a lot of speed.

A cloud passed in front of the sun as they ran, and Ashlan activated his Lurk, urging it to hide him from his friend and give him some advantage over her. But even as he felt it instil a sense of calm on his mind, Frelly looked back at him and grinned victoriously, just before slamming her entire body into the giant tree. Ashlan followed suit a second later.

“Ow.”

“I think I dislocated my shoulder,” he complained, lying upside down, with his head in the grass and his legs in the air, while his back rested against the bark of the tree.

She got back to her feet, before kicking him in the shoulder.

“Ow! Stop that.”

“Your shoulder’s fine,” she told him.

Ashlan righted himself onto his butt, feeling a sore spot on his shoulder joint, but although it would bruise up and hurt tomorrow, Frelly’s assessment was correct.

She reached out her hand to him. “My money please. I won the race.”

After pulling bits of grass and dirt from his hair, he replied, “I’ll give you the fifty, if you can guess what the handprint leads to.”

“You said it was an entrance, right?”

He nodded.

Frelly plopped down next to him, putting on her thinking face, which just amounted to her scrunching up her brows and pouting.

“Is it a secret hiding spot full of tools left by other Assassins? Like a hidden house or something?”

“Close, but also far from the real answer.”

“I’ll decide that when you actually show me how to get in,” she said.

Ashlan turned to take in the giant tree. He’d been here once, before he met Frelly. It was wide enough that it’d take twelve grown men linking their arms together in order to reach all the way around. It also reached the height of about five stories and many of its branches were wider than his torso.

“Where is it? The handprint.”

Frelly pointed up.

“Figures…”

“Are you already tired from a little bit of running?” she teased him.

He quickly got to his feet. “Not at all. Lead the way.”

With a fiendish grin, she got up as well and immediately jumped to reach a nearby branch above, before swinging herself up. Not to be outdone for a third time, Ashlan did the same.

As she hopped from branch to branch, climbed up the side of the bark, and dared gravity to yank her back to the ground, Ashlan continued to match her tricks one-after-another, until they both reached what he thought was the crown.

In actuality, the crown rose up above them, but the trunk was shaved flat and a hollow space sat above it, with the branches and leaves covering it up from the outside perfectly. There were ropes here, which were tied together in a way that they made small shelves, and higher up hung a hammock.

“Do you live here?”

“Fancy, isn’t it?” she said proudly.

“Sure… But I thought you slept on the street.”

“Sometimes. If I feel like it. But this place is where I sleep most often.”

His eyes returned to the flat top of the trunk they were standing atop. It was above six metres in diameter and in its centre, where the rings demarcating its age all met, was the indent of a handprint.

What a strange place to hide this, Ashlan thought to himself. I thought for sure all the entrances were set into stone walls, but clearly their creator was far more ingenious than that.

If the secret entrances to the Undercity are as old as the city itself, then this tree must be ancient. And perhaps this whole park predates Eventide and is some remnant from before a city was here.

Wait, no, that wouldn’t make sense, given that there’s an underground below this place…

This is a real head-scratcher of a mystery.

He pushed his thoughts aside. “Are you ready?” he asked.

Frelly was beaming. It was clear she must’ve wondered about the strange carving for a long time, especially if she’d been constantly coming back here.

Ashlan placed his right hand into the carving atop the trunk and felt a pulse move out through his arm and into the wood.

Click!

Frelly looked around for the source of the sudden sound, before running to the edge of the platform and leaning over the edge.

“A door opened on this side!” she called back, only her lower half visible from where Ashlan knelt.

He pulled his hand free of the trunk’s embrace and went over to her side, just as she swung herself down and through the opening she’d spotted.

Ashlan leaned down, momentarily spotting the ground far below and feeling a sense of vertigo, but then his curiosity won out and he swung himself down through the opening as well.

He came into a dimly-lit interior, just as the ‘door’, which was a thick piece of bark, began closing itself shut and locking with another click.

Lights? he wondered to himself, as he saw how the hollowed-out interior of the trunk had a vague glow coming from below.

Are there other people here already? Maybe Harmon?

They were standing on a half-moon landing, from which spiralling steps led down.

Frelly was jumping in place, her excitement reaching a fever pitch.

Ashlan raised a finger in front of his lips and she quieted down.

“There might be other people here,” he whispered.

Despite the dim light, there was enough darkness for his Lurk to function, so, as they carefully ventured down towards the glow, he activated his Skill to reduce the noise he made.

After only twenty steps, they found the source of the light. It was a brightly-glowing fungus that he had to fight to stop Frelly from touching. There was no telling if it was poisonous or whether skin contact was a bad idea or not.

Strangely, its glow didn’t disrupt his Skill.

“I don’t think there’s anyone else here,” Frelly said out loud.

He looked at the steps they’d walked down and saw that there was a tiny bit of dust that’d been displaced by their passing, while those below were untouched.

“Seems you’re right. Let’s keep going.”

As they continued down the spiralling steps, the glowing fungi became more numerous, until, towards the bottom, they almost entirely carpeted the walls and filled the air with tiny spores.

Hopefully this is safe to breathe, he prayed internally, as they moved through the clouds of floating luminescent dots.

Frelly’s eyes were wide in awe. The sight helped wash away some of his anxieties about bringing her in on the Undercity secret.

After they passed through the spore clouds, the wooden walls and steps of the giant hollow tree transitioned abruptly into pitted stone bricks. Although moisture coated the stones, the tiny gaps in the bricks from the rough surface helped prevent the walls and steps from becoming slippery. It was as if whoever had designed this passage way hundreds of years ago had somehow predicted that moisture would be an issue because of the hollow tree.

Truly the work of a master…

They finally reached the bottom, where more pitted stones led away from the spiralling steps and down towards a chamber that was full of trees.

Frelly immediately ran down the stones and into the chamber, and he followed quickly behind her.

Like the other tree-filled chamber Ashlan had seen, there were pillars placed throughout and the trees coiled around them somewhat, although these were bigger and had lots of leaves and branches, as well as thick trunks. However, unlike the other one, there was actual soil at the bottom of this chamber, and water leaked through the ceiling bricks and dripped down from above. A large spherical stone in the middle of the ceiling somehow projected sunlight out across the room.

“Is this what you wanted to show me!?” Frelly asked, turning back to look at him.

“This is just one of several chambers,” he replied.

She paused, confused about what he meant.

“Frelly. We’re below the city. Not just Greenhill, all of Eventide.”

Ashlan pointed to the other side of the chamber, where a slope of pitted stones led to a tunnel.

“There are probably dozens of chambers, and they’re connected by a network of tunnels, and those tunnels are connected to entrances like the one we used.”

“You need to teach me how to use the handprint to get in!”

“Unfortunately, it seems to only respond to Assassins.”

“Stupid System…” Frelly grumbled, before immediately cheering up again.

She let out a contented sigh, while running her hands through the leaves of a tree.

“Thanks for this. Guess you don’t owe me fifty Silvers after all.”

“I was thinking we could explore the tunnels together perhaps.”

Her dark-green eyes lit up in excitement.

“But not today,” he quickly added. “I’ll go back to the Guild tonight, since I might get a System Contract tomorrow.”

“When can we do it then?”

“I’ll leave a note in your tree home, when I figure out a day that works.”

Frelly was grinning from ear to ear. “Seriously, thanks for showing me this.”

She turned around and came back to where he was standing, melancholy and excitement warring in the expression of her eyes.

“We don’t have to leave right now,” he replied with a grin, rapping the belt bag filled to the brim with foodstuffs they’d bought in Plaza. “Let’s go exploring a little bit at least.”

Before the words had even left his tongue, Frelly was already halfway across the chamber, laughing like a maniac.

Sometime towards late evening, Ashlan returned to the same Guild entrance that he and Vagan had used earlier in the day. It turned out that the chamber he and Frelly had found was pretty close to the one with the grates in the ceiling and trees snaking around the pillars.

In the absence of the tool Vagan possessed, Frelly had come up with the ingenious idea of taking a branch from one of the trees and spearing it through one of the maybe-poisonous glowing mushrooms. The improvised torch had worked surprisingly-well for traversing the dark and it was still glowing faintly, when Ashlan put his hand against the imprint on the wall and opened the way into the Guild.

After they’d looked through a few of the nearby chambers and eaten most of the food they’d bought, Ashlan had escorted Frelly back out of the Greenhill entrance and found his way to the Guild by himself.

Since he knew he’d get some strange looks if he brought the mushroom-on-a-stick with him, he placed it into one of the empty torch holders outside the doorway, just as the light from the Guild’s interior washed over him and cancelled out his Lurk Skill.

Before he’d even managed to cross the threshold and take off his homemade sandals, Estrid was in front of him, two slippers in her hands.

“Welcome home,” she said warmly. “You’re just in time for supper.”

-----------------------------

Next chapter is going to be a lot of fun.

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---Next chapter----

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -134

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---Next chapter----

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Chapter -134

I arrived in the middle of the carriage again. It was hard to tell if I was actually progressing or not, though the counter in the announcement had said so.

“Take a step to the right,” Panda told me.

I followed his advice and a second later Steve arrived, with Chris immediately entering after him, somehow landing atop the Birthday Brat’s shoulders. They tumbled to the floor, both sputtering expletives, though Steve’s self-imposed profanity-filter was back-on after his earlier slip-up.

“I had a good look at the previous one and since that wasn’t anomalous, it’ll be easy to spot anything that stands out,” Steve bragged confidently, after untangling himself from Chris.

I watched as he scoured the interior, with Chris taking a cautious look around as well, though he clearly seemed unsure about himself.

After watching Steve for a few moments, he quickly declared, “It’s not anomalous!” and ran to the front exit. He disappeared through the veil immediately.

“Should we follow him?” Chris asked me.

“No,” I said.

“If he’s wrong, I wonder if he’ll just come back here,” Panda muttered.

“That’d make it too easy to progress,” I replied. “If he’s wrong he’s probably sent all the way back to the start.”

“You’re right, that does make more sense from a Game Balance perspective,” Panda agreed. “Probably the anomalies are switched around for him as well, so it isn’t easy to catch back up to where he failed.”

“That’d make sense,” I said.

“What?” Chris asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” I told him. “Just look around and see if anything stands out.”

I finally got to work myself, going through the checklist in my head as I counted the ghost passengers, the posters, wrappers, and the screens.

“Uh, is this normal?” Chris asked, pointing to the monitors above the right door in the back.

I went over to him and saw that it was just the animation of the doors opening and eyes staring back, along with the warning text about putting your hands outside.

“Those eyes are meant to be there.”

“The screen on the left showed a face twisted into a smile as well,” he added.

“That’s definitely not normal,” I replied.

No sooner had I said that, than a huge face appeared just on the other side of the doors. It was like it belonged to a giant clown, not too unlike Bungo in appearance, with smeared white-and-red make-up, purple skin, open sores, needle teeth, and pinprick pupils set in rheumy eyes.

“Anomaly!” I exclaimed and immediately ran towards the back exit. Chris was right behind me, just as a sound came from the doors, which all began to open.

I pulled aside the door and made sure he went through, before leaping in as well.

---

Correct!

Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 3/9…

---

With a loud groan, I landed atop Chris within another carriage. As expected, Steve was nowhere in sight. He’d clearly lost a life and gone back to the beginning.

After crawling off of him, the Backstabber asked, “Do you think it would have attacked us if we stayed?”

“Probably,” I said.

“It might’ve just taken one of your lives and sent you back to the beginning,” Panda suggested.

“Status,” Chris said, before frowning.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“That encounter increased my Insanity Gauge by 3%...”

“That’s nothing,” I replied.

“I’m almost at 40%.”

“I’m at 190%.”

“Huh?? How’s that possible?”

“It’s thanks to my whistle.”

“That thing you showed me when first we met?” he asked, worried. “You’ve used it 19 times!?”

“No-no, only 9 times. I started at 100% insanity.”

“Is that why you’re still human?”

“Define human,” Panda mocked.

“He can’t hear you,” I said to the plushie, flicking him in the forehead.

“This thing you’re talking to—”

“Panda,” I answered.

“Is he actually real?”

I shrugged. “Probably not.”

“Hey!” he protested.

“Alright, time is running out,” I said, looking at the monitor above a nearby door. It was down to 14 minutes until arrival.

We split up again and combed through the carriage. I went back over my mental checklist, until I noticed that something had changed.

The upholstery of the benches was now stitched together waxy skin, most likely belonging to the people that’d been devoured by the Metro Train.

“Anomaly,” I announced.

We hurried through the back exit before any creature could pop out.

---

Correct!

Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 4/9…

---

“You’re good at this,” Chris said, as I landed inches from him. He’d been quick to get out of the way this time around.

“I’m actually kind of amazed as well,” Panda muttered.

“I need to rescue Bee,” I said seriously. “I don’t have time to screw around here.”

After about two minutes of looking around, counting all the different things and carefully inspecting any potential spot that might be different, I decided that the 4th carriage was not anomalous.

There was a sense of dread in me as I pulled open the door and went through first. After all, it was easy to know when you’d found an anomaly, but hard to tell when there were none.

---

Incorrect!

Anomaly Not Found!

You have lost a life!

Lives remaining 2/3!

Returning to Carriage 4/9…

---

“Shit!” I exclaimed as we arrived back in the 4th carriage.

Steve let out a gasp from nearby.

“You’re back!”

I groaned. Then I realized that Chris hadn’t gone with me.

“I wonder if he saw something just as you left?” Panda suggested.

“Whatever, let’s go through this one. We’re running out of time,” I said, annoyed.

“There’s no anomaly!” the Birthday Brat insisted.

“Shut up, Steve.”

I went through the 4th carriage again, feeling the pressure to go quick, while also needing to make sure I checked everywhere.

Eventually, I had to, unfortunately, agree with Steve.

As I walked up to the front exit, I gritted my teeth in anticipation.

“If this fails, I’m using Dungeon-Break,” I said.

I went through the black veil.

---

Correct!

No Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 5/9…

---

“Thank fuck,” I muttered.

Taking a wide step to the side, I narrowly avoided Steve’s arrival.

---

Warning!

You are now halfway to your destination!

It might be time to hurry up, unless you want to be devoured!

---

I sighed, trying not to let the words stress me out. I still had 2 lives left and 10 minutes on the clock. Then I saw how all 13 ghosts on their various benches were looking at us where we stood in the middle.

One began to rise from its seat.

“Fuck! Anomaly! Anomaly!” I yelled, running towards the back exit, as the rest of the apparitions began to stand.

I crouched down and shot off the floor using SPRING_HEEL, just in time to narrowly avoid one of the ghosts in the back grabbing onto me.

As I landed by the exit, I pulled the door aside and looked back, just in time to see a ghost grasping Steve in a hug and making him teleport away.

I immediately went through, knowing I couldn’t do anything for him.

---

Correct!

Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 6/9…

---

As I arrived in the 6th carriage, Chris squealed like a girl.

“Fuck, that really made me jump,” he then said. “But glad that you’re caught up. I’m kind of stumped here, truth be told, so I’ve just been waiting.”

I looked around, scanning my eyes along the apparitions and the candy wrappers, but everything was normal. Then I went over the screens above the doors, the upholstery, the area outside the windows, and the posters.

My eyes stopped on the ‘World’s End Vacations’ poster. Instead of the sandy beach it’d been showcasing originally, there was instead the apocalyptic ruins of a city. Castleburg, to be precise.

“Anomaly,” I said and ran to the back exit.

---

Correct!

Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 7/9…

---

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---Next chapter----

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -133

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

Apologies for the delay in getting this to you. This is finally featuring an idea I've had in my mind ever since introducing the Metro Train around chapter 50ish.

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Chapter -133

Hitokui Chika the Japanese-made Metro Train pulled itself all the way into the track, before lifting the front of its head up onto the platform to block the only exit.

“Well, shit,” Chris muttered.

Nina flared to life and walked towards the hideous flesh-and-metal body, lifting her hand in the air and declaring to the monstrosity, “Eater of Worlds, take us to the Temple!”

To my surprise, a doorway opened in the side of the Metro Train. It was a black veil that was impossible to see through, and I wondered if we had to face down a boss inside the creature’s body. She immediately entered.

“I thought for sure it would have to eat us,” I said, following Nina.

“Me too,” Panda replied.

Steve and Chris shared a glance. Then the Backstabber sighed and went towards the new doorway as well.

Just before entering, I looked back to see Steve standing there on the platform, but, before I had to yell at him to come along, he moved forward on his own accord.

My vision went black as I stepped through the dark veil in the doorway, before the feeling of teleportation overcame me. As always, it felt as though I was sucked into the ground and then plummeted through darkness.

With a solid impact of my Schmonic Boots against metal, my vision cleared and I saw that I was in the middle of a Metro Train carriage. Unlike the metros I was familiar with, the benches all ran along the walls and faced the middle, with the support beams and overhead handles also only occupying the sides of the carriage interior.

“This must be how a Japanese metro looks like,” Panda guessed.

I swiveled my head around.

“Where’s the others?”

---

Thank you for choosing to use your regional ‘Metro Train’ service!

It is now time to play “Destination or Death!”

You have three lives and nine carriages you must traverse in the correct order, before you reach your destination. Failure to follow the correct order results in a life being taken away.

Each carriage has the potential to be anomalous.

If you believe there is an anomaly, you must leave the carriage through the exit behind you.

If you believe there is no anomaly, you must leave the carriage through the exit in front of you.

Once your lives are used up or you arrive at your destination without traversing all carriages, your body will be consumed by the Metro Train.

Player Abilities and Passives are disabled for the duration of the Mini GAME.

Good luck!

---

“Ah, it’s one of those,” I said, remembering the Taxi ride.

“That must be why they said it could be completed by almost anyone in the Appraisal,” Panda recalled. “Although this sounds way more complicated.”

“Question is whether this carriage is anomalous or not…” I considered.

“I think this one is to teach you what they’re meant to look like,” Panda guessed. “There’s only one exit after all.”

I turned around and saw that he was right. Behind where I’d arrived in the middle of the carriage was just a wall with a window peering out into a tapestry of faces. As I looked out of all the windows, I saw that it was the same.

“Wait, this place might count as a dungeon!” I realized. “I think I might still be able to use glitched skills.”

“Let’s hold off on jailbreaking it until it actually looks dire. You’ve got three lives after all. Plus, it’s moving you towards where Nina wants you to find a Wayward Minor.”

I frowned. “Fine.”

“Alright, take a good look around and make note of how everything looks.”

“I’m great at memorization games,” I bragged.

“I know for a fact that’s incorrect.”

“Just watch me.”

I walked to the back wall without an exit and then looked all the way down the carriage. There were three pairs of doors on the walls of the interior. Between each door was a long bench, making for four pairs in total. On the benches were ghostly apparitions, no doubt Players who’d died to the Metro Train and become trapped. On the first pair were 3 ghosts on the left, 4 on the right. Second pair was 1 and 4; third was 0 and 2; last was 1 and 0.

Besides the apparitions, who were all identical and just sat there motionlessly, were posters on the walls and bits of trash on the floor. Next to where I stood was a candy wrapper for something called ‘Hi-Chew’. The posters seemed a mix of advertisements and useful info, but all of it was written in an alphabet I couldn’t understand.

I moved past the first set of doors, while trying to burn the image of everything I saw into my memory. Panda was moving around on my shoulder, seemingly doing the same, while Lordie just chilled atop my head, purring in a way that made my molars tingle.

Along with the bits of random candy trash and the various posters, were also rectangular monitors embedded into the walls above the doors, which had an image showing the line to our destination. Given that there was no stops between Castleburg and Madeville, it was really just a yellow line and an expected arrival time at about twenty minutes. To the right of it was a simple CGI animation of the doors opening, but, as they opened, creepy eyes were revealed. A red warning text appeared alongside it, which, from the symbols accompanying it, was saying something like ‘Don’t put your hands out of the doors if they open’. Lastly, to the left of it was a screen that showed a blue background and the text ‘No Signal’.

“This is a lot to keep track of,” said Panda.

I ignored him and scanned each of the doors, seeing that there were five identical screen displays like the one I was looking at. I walked to the end of the carriage and made note of everything on the walls and floor as well.

Feeling like I had a fairly-robust idea of how the whole train looked, I went through the rest of the mental checklist of things to watch out for, although I knew that I was fucked if the foreign text changed, since it would be impossible for me to really notice.

There were 7 posters in total: 2 with a boy wearing a red cap and blue blouse, which seemed to have some info for children perhaps; 2 pink make-up adverts for some collection of lipsticks and blushes; 1 blue-and-white game advert; 1 map of the region with dots for ‘famous’ landmarks; and lastly, one that seemed to be an ad for a travel agency, which had an image of a sandy beach with a logo above that read ‘World’s End Vacations’ in English.

Besides the ‘Hi-Chew’ wrapper were 4 other pieces of candy trash: 2 with the name ‘Pocky’, one red and the other white; 1 small wrapper that was white-and-brown and called ‘Country Ma’am’; and lastly something I couldn’t read, but which had a picture of chocolate-and-cookie mushrooms on a green-and-sandy-brown forest background.

“Alright, I’m locked in,” I said confidently.

I was fairly sure that the first few anomalies would be obvious, since that sort of ramp-up in difficulty would make the most sense for a game of this nature. The main hurdle would be the insecurity in deciding there were no anomalies.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Panda asked.

“I am.”

Putting my hand on the door, I pulled it aside and walked through the dark veil on the other side.

---

Entering Carriage 1/9…

---

I arrived in the center of a new carriage, nearly bumping into Steve and Chris who were already in here. Tina was nowhere to be seen.

“Please tell me you had a good look before you came here,” Chris pleaded, as soon as he saw me.

I raised a thumb. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

---

BAD CATCHPHRASE!

You have taken 1 point of damage.

---

“Ow.”

“I’m telling you, there are no anomalies!” Steve insisted.

“Have either of you seen Tina?” Panda asked.

Steve looked at the plushie. “I didn’t see her,” he answered.

“What?” Chris asked, since he couldn’t hear Panda.

“Tina,” I repeated.

He shook his head. “I was the first to arrive here. I didn’t read the message until I’d already gone through the door. Maybe she’s still in the first carriage?”

Knowing her, she was no doubt already halfway-done. She was a total enigma when it came to games and puzzles. Once she’d driven a patient at the Asylum into full-on psychosis after playing just three games of chess against him.

While Chris and Steve continued to argue about whether or not they should go forward or back, I walked up and down the carriage, scanning the seven posters, six doorways, eight benches, and five pieces of candy trash.

Then I walked back to where the two idiots were arguing in the middle, before pushing past them to go through the forward exit.

“Come on,” I called to them. “There are no anomalies in this one.”

As I went through the veil of darkness past the exit, a message hit me:

---

Correct!

No Anomaly Found!

Entering Carriage 2/9…

-----------------------------

I'm not a fan of playing scary games, but I really enjoy watching playthroughs of them. If you have ever played games like Platform 8, Shinkansen 0, Anomaly Exit, or Fractured Mind, you should immediately be able to tell where I got inspiration for this Mini Game from. If I had to recommend one, I think Fractured Mind is probably the scariest of them all.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -132

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There was a weird bug with Patreon yesterday that made it impossible to do any editing since all the text was black and the background is also black -.- really ingenious stuff. Love how Patreon always keeps us on our toes, lol. Anyway, it seems to have been fixed!

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Chapter -132

Chris looked at me, confused. “What?”

“Gambit, do the thing,” Tina said. “Aim us 3 yards in front of the Metro entrance next to the Gold Apple Bank.”

“You’ve got it!” I obeyed.

“The Metro?” Chris asked, starting to back away.

I hopped forward and grabbed onto his arm. Nina had said we needed this guy to find Bee, so I wasn’t going to let him run.

“Steve! Get over here!” I called the Birthday Brat.

“Are we doing the thing again?” he asked, dismayed.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” I warned him.

He quickly ran over, with Tina coming close as well.

“Please let me go,” Chris said.

I smiled.

“hole.Worm( )!”

The ground under us grew a sudden black shadow, before it started rumbling. The two survivors of Chris’ group quickly backed away. Then the maw of the Transportation Worm flew up and out of the pavement, swallowing all four of us whole. We were pulled along for the ride as it fell back down into the ground again.

Even though we’d been close together as it swallowed us, its interior was like a flexible tube tall enough for me to stand without my hair touching the ceiling and long enough for none of us to bump into each other. There were weird bean-bag-like seats, which Tina and Steve both plopped themselves down onto, while Chris looked around in confusion.

“What just happened?”

“It’s an ability of mine,” I said. “It’s taking us towards the Metro.”

“We can’t go in there. Everyone says there’s a giant monster that’ll eat you…”

“They’re planning for us to get eaten,” Steve said with a defeated tone in his voice.

Tina smiled as though she was having a lovely day. “I haven’t been inside the Metro in a loooong time.”

“Why am I coming along for the ride…?” the Backstabber wondered.

“You’re going to help us find a Wayward Minor.”

“A wayward—? Wait, you know where my brother is??”

“He’s in the Temple,” Tina said cheerfully. “The Metro will take us there.”

“I thought he disappeared like all the other children,” Chris replied. “But you’re saying he’s still out there?”

“Seems that way,” I said.

“He must be inside a dungeon if the Ants can’t find him,” Panda guessed.

“Panda says he’s inside a dungeon most likely,” I repeated.

“Panda?” he asked. “Who’s that?”

“How is this guy still sane?” Steve complained.

“He’s got a good mindset about things,” I replied as though it was obvious.

Suddenly the whole interior of the worm started to become narrower, before all four of us were squeezed out of the end and arrived three yards in front of the Metro entrance.

“That was fast,” Chris muttered.

“Convenient, right?” I asked, beaming at the fact that I’d picked a great transport ability.

A second after our arrival, an angel with a yellow raincoat and a red mask passed right in front of us, barely missing us before continuing ahead.

I looked to Tina. She’d apparently predicted this hence her very specific instructions for where we were heading.

“I think that was Matthew Twine with his new Red Pawn Role,” Panda commented.

“That thieving bastard! He probably still has my loot!” I grumbled.

“Ignore him. Let’s focus on saving Bee instead.”

I narrowed my eyes but knew he was right.

Tina was the first to go down the escalator, which still operated as normal. Chris followed right behind her, clearly interested in saving his brother, while I came third, dragging Steve behind me.

I briefly spotted some kind of weird golden statue that had a giant apple instead of a head and was walking out of the nearby bank, which seemed to be a dungeon. Then the reflective grey stone tiles of the Metro Station filled my vision. I shifted my gaze down to the end of the escalator, where a ticket barrier awaited us.

As we all reached the bottom, Panda pointed towards a nearby machine to buy tickets. As I went over a screen hit me:

---

Castleburg-Madeville Metro Line:

One-Way Ticket: 100 Coins

Return Ticket: 180 Coins

Day Pass: 320 Coins

Week Pass: 1800 Coins

THOSE WITHOUT TICKETS WILL PERISH!

---

“That’s expensive,” Steve said.

“You’re just poor,” I replied.

“Do we really need tickets?”

“The World-Eater accepts only those that hold Rite of Passage.”

Chris and Steve gave Nina a weird look.

“She means ‘Yes’,” I translated.

“It sounds like you’ll get free passage to Madeville,” Panda muttered.

“I doubt it’s that simple.”

“Meow,” Lordie remarked.

“What’d he say?” Panda asked.

“He said it smells like death down here.”

[まもなく、お客様方はわたしの中に入ります。逃げるのはおやめください。]

“Let’s hurry up and get those tickets,” Chris urged.

I bought a one-way ticket, as did Tina and him, while Steve just stood there, looking out of place.

“Can someone spot me 100 Coins?”

We all shared a glance, but I ended up being the one to buy it for him, much to my dismay. He didn’t need to come along, but he owed me, and while this just made his debt to me grow, I couldn’t rightly ask the other two to pay for him.

I looked at the ticket in my hand.

Tina took hers and inserted it into the ticket barrier, which lit up green and then opened for her. Since it was one-way, the machine didn’t spit it out at the other end.

The rest of us followed suit and then walked out onto the narrow platform. There was only one track and before the Great Game, there’d only ever been two trains on the line, with some middle-point between the cities allowing them to pass by each other on separate tracks. It meant that usual wait times were about twenty minutes, which was pretty inefficient for a metro.

There was a screen where normally a timetable would’ve been visible, but it was just flickering and showing split-second jumpscare images of a twisted grinning face.

A bing-bong sound suddenly filled the entire platform, before the voice of Chika Hitokui announced:

[まもなく、カスルバルグ。カスルバルグです。ご注意ください。]

“Anyone know what it’s saying?” I asked.

“I don’t speak Chinese,” Steve replied.

“It’s Japanese,” Chris corrected him.

“Do you speak it?” I asked.

“No.”

“I wish Bee was here,” I complained. “You guys are useless.”

“You’re the one who brought us!” Steve argued.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, Steve.”

Tina ignored the conversation and walked up to the edge of the platform, just as a rush of air flowed out of the tunnel and two massive hands appeared, dragging behind it a giant body with the large cyclopean face of the Metro Monster popping out first.

“Fucking hell!!” Steve blasphemed.

I gasped.

“Oh my God, Steve just cursed!”

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F-tier Assasin - Chapter 7

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Patreon really shit the bed. It's literally impossible to see anything I'm doing while editing, so if there are formatting errors, then I apologise, but I can't do anything until they resolve whatever bug makes the editing view "black text on dark-grey background". What a ridiculous bug, lol.

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Chapter 7

“Are all entrances to this place guarded by a special handprint?” Ashlan asked, after they’ve moved out of the large chamber and into a series of winding tunnels that smelled musty and rank.

“With a few exceptions, yes.”

So I really won’t have to worry about being chased down here by Trackers or Sentinels. Frelly would freak if she heard about this.

“Can I bring anyone else down here?”

“So long as you do not inadvertently lead them to the Guild. But please, do not spread knowledge of this place around. It will undermine its usage for us and teach our enemies to watch its entrances.”

“Enemies?”

“There is money to be made for the corrupt and evil, and we are the System’s cleaners. Complete enough Contracts, and sooner-or-later you will run into one cabal or another. Even Harmon has made his fair share, despite the fact no one ever sees him coming.”

“An S-tier with a Spotting Skill can probably see him.”

“Fortunately for us, most S-tiers stay on the straight-and-narrow. It is rare one is ever made a target for assassination.”

“Do these ‘enemies’ ever target your families?”

“Of course.”

Ashlan frowned.

I should find a way to disguise myself. My family has no way to protect themselves, and I could even end up bringing trouble to my friends…

“You are thinking about disguises, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Even if you cover your entire face, you have eyes that people will remember.”

“So, my best bet is to not be seen at all.”

“That, or you can do what Anisette does and leave no witnesses at all.”

Ashlan paled slightly.

I knew she was bad news!

“That was a joke, by the way. You would have to be crazy to do what she does at your Rank. Your best bet is to get in and get out without being spotted. You have a stealth-based Skill like Harmon, right? Make good use of it.”

“Thanks, Vagan. That’s good advice.”

“Giving advice is kind of the whole point of my role. Not that anyone else will listen. It is hard to be taken seriously, when they all still remember Victoria.”

“I think if you give it time, they’ll come around.”

The torchlight caught on Vagan’s pearl-white teeth. “You are not a bad kid after all. Though I sure had my doubts when I saw how you behave yourself.”

“I’ll have to get used to utensils.”

“Were you raised in the wild?”

“Northside, but close enough,” he replied.

Vagan made a noise.

Even with no words uttered, Ashlan knew the meaning nonetheless.

“You’re from White Coast, right?”

“How did you guess?”

Ashlan gestured at his clothes. “You dress like that; you care a lot about manners and etiquette; you’ve got the same stiff way of talking as everyone else from that district; and I know there are a few Gravegarden Aristocrats who live there.”

“You have the wrong Profession,” Vagan replied. “There is an Investigator lost in you.”

That was one of the Professions I was hoping for, even if it’d have meant working closely with the Sentinels in Irongate…

The Guild Leader steered them up through a side-corridor to the tunnel they’d been following, and after a couple snaking turns they came out into a massive chamber. There was ankle-high water at the bottom, thick stone pillars holding up the tall ceiling, and a few grates high above that let down golden sunlight. It was impossible to see where the grates led, but Ashlan figured it wouldn’t be somewhere easily accessible to the people above, since otherwise the large chamber and underground tunnel system would not have been kept secret.

I have no idea where we are… My sense of direction has forsaken me.

Where the light touched the pillars and the water below, plants and fungus grew sporadically. The water was possibly formed from accumulated rainfall, but it was clearly unhealthy to consume, based on the colour of it. Although, with the nutrients inside it and the sunlight from above, it seemed a fertile mixture, as evident from the plants.

I’m surprised there are no animals down here though.

“Do not eat those,” Vagan advised, pointing at the mushrooms.

“I wasn’t planning to,” Ashlan replied. “I don’t just eat anything I see.”

“I did not mean to imply that,” he added. “I only mention it because Maggie has a tendency to chomp down on anything potentially poisonous, and, after she tried one of the Foulcaps that grow here, she said it was the most poisonous fungi she had ever encountered. She has been trying to cultivate them in the Guild Arboretum, but to no success.”

Maggie must have some kind of Poison-Eater Skill. Would explain how alcohol doesn’t seem to affect her at all.

“I had no idea she actually took her Assignment seriously,” Ashlan remarked.

“You have the right of it, though I would warn you from speaking ill of other members. But she is indeed lazy and unmotivated, though she cares a lot about her poisons. If she was more dedicated to her Profession, she would become truly fearsome. However, she has no sense of urgency about her tasks and money is not a motivator for her. I do not understand why the System chose her.”

It’s somehow comforting to know that even a small group like ours has that problem.

I was worried they’d all be terrifyingly-competent people I couldn’t possibly keep up with.

It’s easier for me to not stand out when there are less-motivated members around me.

Even if the System seemed to always assign people to Professions that suited them in one way or another, it still could not defeat human tendencies. C-tiers seemed to be hit the hardest, as they were on average better than most, while simultaneously unable to keep up with the rest, resulting in a strange lack of motivation that Ashlan had witnessed many times before. And it was always worse if they grew up rich, since working for financial gain bore little appeal.

D, E, and F-tiers were weaker and couldn’t expect to earn a lot, so there was always an inferiority complex that motivated them, as well as the very basic need to earn enough to survive. Meanwhile, B, A, and S seemed to chase power for its own sake, with B’s and A’s often seeming to express a desire to catch up to the people above.

I’d have been perfectly-content with C-tier, he thought to himself. In any Profession, it would be sufficient to make a respectable living, and in the rare ones it would be more-than-enough.

A C-tier Magical Artificer could earn enough in their lifetime to establish their own dynasty.

Of course, there were unmotivated louts across all Tiers as far as he could tell, but it would be denying reality to not point out that the majority resided in the very middle of the power spectrum.

Vagan clapped his hands, snapping Ashlan out of his thoughts.

“You do that quite a lot,” he told him.

“It’s a curse, really,” Ashlan replied with a grin.

He looked across the chamber. There was a small staircase with wide steps leading down to the water and on the other side was a mirror-image of the landing and stairs. Between the pillars were thick snaking trunks, with roots buried deep inside the stone, as well as some sprouting out from the floor.

“We’re close to the Greenhill exit,” Vagan announced.

That explains the trees, but I wonder where those grates are placed. If only it was possible to see what lay above them, but the sunlight makes that impossible.

“I’d like to go until we hit the exit in Northside.”

Vagan frowned, but seemed to indulge him nevertheless, as he began to descend the stairs.

Ashlan appraised the pillars and the interconnected paths the roots and trunks made between them, not wanting to get his feet wet in the contaminated water. Most of the trees were coiled around each other like a giant’s tangled hair, and the one nearest to him had a branch with a sparse few leaves and a tiny apple dangling from it invitingly.

Probably can’t eat that either, he considered.

Then he took a few steps back, before sprinting across the landing in front of the tunnel mouth and leaping towards the nearest pillar. It was about four metres away, but the tree coiled around it extended out about half a metre and provided excellent handholds.

Vagan stopped at the foot of the stairs and stared up at Ashlan, just as the youth hit the side of the pillar and caught onto the tree.

As he hoisted himself up, the Guild Leader cast him a surprised look.

“I thought you did not have more than one skill.”

His voice echoed through the chamber and Ashlan wondered if it was possible to hear it above ground through the grates.

“I don’t,” he called back. “It’s all practice.”

Vagan shook his head, clearly considering it a waste of time. To Ashlan it just showed that the man had a fundamentally-different idea of what was useful and what wasn’t.

He probably has some pompous way of doing assassinations, he thought to himself, as he strode across the path formed by the coiling trees.

Below him, the fancy Assassin walked through the filthy water in his expensive black leather boots, which seemed to repel every droplet that touched them. His unhurried gait and long strides were intimidating in a way.

There’s a Swordsman lost in him.

Ashlan leapt across a gap between two unconnected pillars, hitting the second pillar’s side and sliding downwards until his hands caught on a thin rope-like root buried within it. He pulled himself across hand-over-hand, until reaching another pillar where the root transitioned into a sturdy trunk he could hoist himself up onto. Then he balance-walked to the pillar across the middle of the chamber, where he could stride along a sturdier network of branches and roots to reach the other side.

“It is like watching a squirrel traversing a tree,” Vagan commented from below.

Ashlan was only about four metres above the water, but he knew it would still suck to fall from this height, so, while he considered retorting, he focused on balancing his way across instead.

They met up by the landing in front of the other tunnel, with Ashlan breathing quickly and Vagan looking in tip-top shape, with not even a speck of water on his boots or pants.

“While flashy and inventive, your acrobatics are a waste of your energy,” the Leader told him.

Must be boring to be such a pragmatic, he retorted in his mind.

After about an hour of moving through more tunnels, they reached another large chamber, but this one was full of water that looked fresh enough to drink, although it lay stagnant in its underground vault. The way their torchlight reflected off its surface created eerie patterns on the walls and ceiling.

The water reached all the way to the top of the stairs on the right of the landing, but there was a simple way to cross the chamber on the left side, where stone steps poked out from the wall. However, the steps were separated by about half-a-metre, thus requiring Ashlan’s full concentration to traverse. Vagan meanwhile made it look no different from his normal walk, as he kept pace with him.

“What’s this place for?” Ashlan asked.

“We are not quite sure, but it seems to be a reservoir to store water for an emergency.”

“Is it safe to drink?”

“Maggie said it was okay,” Vagan replied, “Though when Bjorn tried it, he was sick for three days.”

“Sounds like trusting her word might be harmful,” he considered.

“Healthy scepticism is always good.”

Vagan looked down at the water they were walking above.

“If you feel like you need the exercise, you can swim across instead,” he said, possibly joking.

Ashlan didn’t tell him that he was unable to swim.

Perhaps I should come here to practice sometime?

Although it’s way too deep. I’ll definitely drown if I leave the stairs. And I’d need someone to hold my torch…

When they got to the other side, Ashlan was starting to feel the strain from their journey underground. He couldn’t tell if it was the air or the exhaustion from the day before, but he was glad today was System Day and that there would be no surprise Contracts.

From the water reservoir was a straight-going tunnel that ended in a spiralling staircase. There were no other ways to go but up.

“This is where we say our goodbyes,” Vagan told him.

“If I follow this, I’ll end up in Northside?”

“We are already in Northside, technically.”

“Where exactly is this going to take me?” Ashlan wondered.

“The entrance is embedded in the city wall and I believe it leads out into a narrow alley, although I have not used this pathway before. For obvious reasons.”

For obvious reasons, he says. He should just admit that he doesn’t want to mingle with the poors.

“Thank you for guiding me all this way,” Ashlan said politely.

Vagan nodded. “I unfortunately cannot give you a map of all the entrances, but the easiest ones to locate are: on the fake balcony in Hrothgar’s Place; within the Faraway Markets’ permanent stone stall; and inside the empty well on the shore of White Coast. You will have to explore to find the rest.

“If you are given the option, acquiring Darksight as your first passive Skill might be a good idea.”

“I will definitely do some exploring,” Ashlan replied.

“Make sure to bring food. It is easy to get lost for days at a time down here. The tunnels in Oceanview and the ones to the east are especially labyrinthine.”

“Understood.”

Vagan began to head back the way they’d come, but quickly stopped. “Leave the torch in a holder by the exit.”

“Of course.”

This guy seems very particular about everything, but I suppose it isn’t a bad trait for a Leader.

After Vagan disappeared down the end of the tunnel, Ashlan ascended up the spiralling steps, the clop of his wooden sandals echoing loudly in the confined space. He couldn’t recall just how many steps he’d gone down in Irongate to reach the Guild entrance, but he was certain that he climbed twice as many on the way back up.

Perhaps Eventide isn’t built on a flat foundation, he considered. In a way it made sense that the land the city sat atop was sloping as it moved towards the ocean.

Eventually he reached a short landing at the top, where he had to take a breather. His calves were aching and sore, but there was an undeniable excitement in knowing that he was privy to a secret known only by a select few.

He placed the torch in a holder next to the wall that bore the distinctive handprint.

Still, if this is built directly into the city wall, some High-Ranked Builders must’ve left blueprints or sketches of this entrance. The doorway itself must be an elaborate Artefact, which is sure to have documentation somewhere as well. Even if the construction is hundreds of years old, I’m sure some records have survived. Unless all such documents were intentionally destroyed or kept by the Guild.

Ashlan shook his head. He did find it a bit odd that the ‘Undercity’ was not common knowledge, since a conspiracy of this size would be impossible to keep a lid on.

Unless the System is responsible for the secrecy. Like some kind of enforceable vow of silence.

Probably best not to pry into something like that…

He placed his hand on the engraving, once again feeling that odd sensation of it perfectly embracing him, as though it was carved specifically for his fingers.

There followed no tremors or spectacular noise when the wall unlocked for him, only a little click as some bolt slid away and allowed the wall to spin on its central axis. It made sense that it wouldn’t be something noticeable, as there were High-Ranked lookouts atop the wall, whose supernatural hearing could pick apart individual raindrops from half a district away.

Ashlan pushed his way out through the door, arriving into the shadows between the city wall and an apartment building. The ‘door’ spun slowly until it’d made a full revolution, before another click sounded and it returned to normal. Left behind was just a single engraving of a hand, though anyone who found it in this place would probably just assume that a Builder from the time of Eventide’s founding wanted to leave a permanent mark.

It's impossible to tell that this part of the wall is any different from the rest.

Whoever made it was a true master of their craft.

He looked up at the city wall. It rose higher than any other building in Northside, which was saying a lot, since the apartment blocks reached nine stories in some parts.

I probably shouldn’t use this entrance too often, since I’m sure hearing two consecutive clicks from this place repeatedly will make some overzealous lookout curious enough to investigate.

I’d best get a move on. Frelly is going to beat me up if I leave her hanging for any longer…

The calming feeling of Lurk washed over him and he started following the wall towards the nearest break in the apartment block, where he could start heading further into Northside and figure out where he was.

Only twenty minutes later, with the sun directly overhead of him, Ashlan arrived in front of the building where he rented an apartment. The air was dusty like usual and there was the ever-present ‘stink’, which was like a mix of offal and excrement rolled in mud. Even as someone born and raised in Northside, it was impossible to disregard it.

The sight of the block always made him question why he paid forty Silvers a week to live here. It was a rundown and frankly dangerous place to live in, with every few weeks seeing parts of the building crumbling and falling down into the alleyways and courtyard below, as well as thugs hanging around the place either to rob you or get back money they’d ‘invested’.

Gainful employment of E-tier warrior Assignments in actual practice…

To a D or C-tier with a ‘peaceful’ Profession, a combat-oriented E-tier could be frightening, since they gained Skills that boosted their offensive capabilities, which most people had no possible way to defend against. After all, very few Seamsters, Carpenters, Gardeners, and such realised their Skills could be twisted to work against other people.

With the sun at its zenith, shadows were few and far between, and the street was relatively-empty since most people were relaxing today, which left no ways for him to blend in with his Skill. Though Ashlan figured there was no reason to really hide, so he walked up to the front of his building and went in through the open door.

I didn’t see Frelly anywhere, but I’m sure one of her mentees is keeping an eye on my building. She’ll be by my window before I can even shut the door behind me.

Unlike his parents’ apartment, Ashlan’s was on the first floor, although it was a third the size of theirs. Still, ground-floor apartments were always getting broken into, and his parents’ place was no different.

He felt Lurk activate from the lightless interior of the lobby and silently passed by the cage-like ‘reception’ counter within which snored James the Landlord. The rusted iron bars were less to keep him in and more to keep people out, as he stored much of his rent-money and repossessed items within.

His D-tier Brawler, ‘Dogface’, leaned against a crumbly stone pillar by the stairwell, but didn’t notice Ashlan passing by him. He wore his usual dark shorts and white stain-covered vest, displaying his tan skin full of old white scars. He was a lazy bastard whose existence seemed to focus solely on threatening the poor sods, who’d been unfortunate enough to have picked this building to live in. His nose was still bent in the wrong way from when Tommy had knocked his lights out for harassing his mother.

I hope he didn’t get in trouble with the Sentinels yesterday…

After reaching the first floor, Ashlan spotted one of the building’s many rats gorging itself on trash carelessly left in front of one of the apartments. James always insisted that there were no rats to speak of, but, thanks to his Lurk ability, Ashlan was able to walk close enough to the pest to nudge it with his boot before it noticed him.

With a squeal, it hopped away from its meal and disappeared into a hole in one of the wooden walls.

What a dump this place is… he thought to himself, not for the first time.

He passed by three more doors before reaching ‘117’ where he lived. There were some new scratches on the door that hadn’t been there yesterday morning and the lock was different.

“Son of a…”

Ashlan bent down and pulled off the back of his right sandal, retrieving his key from the hidden compartment. The first thing he’d done after moving in was to replace the lock, since he had a sneaking suspicion that either James or Dogface entered people’s apartments when they weren’t home.

Before even pushing the key all the way in, he knew it wouldn’t fit. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, before considering how else to get in.

That lock cost me twenty-five Silvers, damn it…

Wait, I think I remember Luthe saying something about a common way to open these locks.

Luthe was the resident Unassignable Lock-Picker. As far as Ashlan was concerned, there was no lock that was safe from his magical hands.

He loosened his shoulders and then tried to recall exactly how he’d seen the guy do the trick before. It had something to do with pulling the door towards himself, plunging the handle down just below half-way, and then slamming the door forward.

Ashlan frowned. Dogface would definitely hear the sound and come looking.

Screw them. I want my stuff back.

He pulled on the handle, while plunging it down just to the point where it made a faint click, then slammed it forward, somehow opening the door as a result. He quickly entered and tried to close it behind himself, but then saw that the locking-bolt was somehow still engaged.

If I slam it closed, I’ll trap myself in here…

He looked around his apartment. Light came through the window, illuminating the dust in the air and the stripped-out interior. There were new scratches and boot-marks that hadn’t been there before. He saw the signs of at least two people working together to repossess his belongings.

The bars on the window had been screwed back on, preventing him from going in-or-out that way. It had been his usual escape route whenever trouble came calling, but the Landlord had shored that up in a hurry.

Both the thin mattress and the blanket he had used as a cover were gone, as was his bean-stuffed pillow, leaving behind just the rickety bed frame. The dresser and cupboard were likewise empty, not that he’d had much in there.

These bastards were thorough.

The thought made him worried and he pushed the bedframe aside, before lifting up a loose floorboard to reveal the hidden compartment below.

It was empty.

There were a hundred-and-eleven Silvers in there…

“You’re late,” said a voice from the window.

Ashlan jumped upright, only to find Frelly hanging onto the bars outside.

“Let me in.”

“Can’t. Bastards changed the lock and screwed the bars on tight. They took my money and all my stuff…”

“I’ll get Tommy,” she said and disappeared.

A second later Dogface arrived in the doorway.

“James wants yer out.”

“Clearly,” Ashlan replied. “Give me my things back, then I’ll leave.”

I ought to take out my Spearhead Dagger and add another scar to his ugly mug.

The Brawler earnt his name from his unfortunate face, which had seen many fights, most of which he’d clearly lost. He was missing several teeth and always huffed loudly because his nose was so crooked that it was no good for breathing anymore.

“James’s keeping it.”

“Like hell he isn’t,” Ashlan shot back.

“What yer gonna do ‘bout it?”

Ashlan took a step back, retreating into the corner of the room where the sunlight couldn’t reach him, before activating Lurk.

Dogface huffed in surprise, then entered the room. “What’d yer do?”

He looked around in confusion, before walking towards the corner, just in time to catch Ashlan’s foot directly into his nether region.

The Brawler immediately sank to the floor with a tiny whine and he jumped over him, before running to the door and slamming it closed, re-engaging the lock.

He spun around just in time for Frelly to peck him in the forehead with her index finger.

“Why’d you leave me hanging, Squirrel?”

She’s still using that nickname, that’s a good sign. I think.

“I had to go to the heart of Irongate to find the Guild, and then they let me stay overnight.”

“Sounds real fun.” She looked down at his belt bag. “Is my part of the reward in there?”

Ashlan knew there was no way she’d let him get away with not paying her. Then he saw her face and the black eye. He couldn’t help but cringe in guilt.

“Did the Tracker do that?”

“She was a real piece of work. She went crazy when she realised we tricked her.”

“I’ll pay you,” Ashlan said. “You can have the money I had in my apartment. It was over a hundred Silvers.”

She reached out palm-first. “Thank you and please.”

“I don’t have it on me,” he said, just as the worthless Brawler started banging on the door from the inside of ‘117’.

“Did you trap Dogface in there?”

“Also kicked him in the nuts as hard as a could.”

Frelly grinned. “So, where’s my money?”

“Guessing James has it in his little fortress.”

“Has probably more than just your money,” she said, clearly thinking big.

Heavy steps came from the nearby stairs as Tommy descended down to meet them.

How the hell did Frelly get here that quickly? Ashlan suddenly wondered, as she realised she’d gone up to the fourth floor where Tommy and his mother lived, then come back down and inside before Ashlan could even leave the apartment.

“Hey Ash.”

“Sorry about yesterday,” he replied, as a way of greeting. “Did the Sentinels catch you.”

“Nah, slow as always, those guys. It was no sweat, really.”

“Come on, you two, we’re getting my money back.”

“And my clothes,” Ashlan added.

“I think I saw those in the courtyard this morning,” Tommy said. “Along with a blanket and a pillow. It’s all gone now though.”

“Motherfuckers…” Ashlan cursed.

“Time to teach James a little about consequences,” Frelly said with a grin.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -131

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---Next chapter----

-----------------------------

Chapter -131

The ‘hole.Worm( )’ ability spat us out halfway towards the Mall, but, instead of running in that direction, Tina took us towards Downtown by summoning a serpent of neon-green energy that Steve and her rode atop. I rolled along besides them atop my longboard, easily overtaking them in speed thanks to the tricks I was pulling off.

The streets were in total chaos, with Players battling against monsters that’d escaped from the many dungeons around the city.

“It seems that getting rid of the Humanbusses had the side-effect of emboldening the dungeon enemies,” Panda remarked.

Truth be told, I didn’t give a crap, as I was only focused on saving Bee. The Manhunter’s Badge was still just pointing up into the sky, where the light of the morning sun was dying it pink and orange.

I realized I had another way to track her and pulled out the Soul Compass:

“Bee,” I told it.

---

ERROR!

Target does not exist within your Region.

---

“Piece of shit,” I muttered, throwing the compass back into my inventory.

Tina’s serpent sped up and went right in the crowded intersection ahead of us, and I quickly came up besides her, just in time to see the new street had a massive furrow in the pavement.

“Are we going to chase down the Metro?” I asked her.

“It will come to us,” she replied.

“Is the plan to fight that giant Train?” Steve asked, worried.

“No,” Tina replied. “We will let it eat us.”

“What!?”

“It won’t kill us,” I told him. “Probably.”

Steve looked on the verge of tears, but he didn’t start complaining like I’d expected, and instead just sat there, no doubt considering where he’d gone wrong to end up here.

We followed the furrow of the giant Metro Train for three more blocks, passing by a couple groups of Players battling it out with orderlies from Calm Springs Asylum.

“What are those things doing here?” I wondered, just as we rounded another corner and saw the Psychiatrist fighting off Chris the Backstabber and three other Players.

Dr. Juliens’ face was opened like a meat rose, his arms had a second joint, and his legs were inverted and ended in hooves. His hook-nails were in the middle of tearing apart one of the four Players.

I crouched down on my board, before shooting myself forward, my fist pulled back.

[YOU!] the Psychiatrist’s staticky intercom voice screamed, as he saw me.

He threw the torn-up Player aside and spun to face me, just as my fist slammed into the middle of his unfurled rose face.

“Punch.spinTheWheel( )!” I exclaimed.

Everything froze. Chris was in the middle of exploiting the Psychiatrist’s distraction by jabbing his daggers towards his exposed back. Tina’s neon-green serpent had lifted up and opened its fanged maw, preparing to lunge forward, while she sat on its head and Steve was about to fall off its back.

Everyone’s eyes shifted to look at me, until the golden wheel descended from the sky.

We’re back, baby! And for real this time! No Lucky Dice shenanigans!

*Audience whooping*

Before last time, when ‘Gambit’ cheated the odds—

*Audience booing*

—he triggered ‘Jelly Bones’. That was quite a riot, wasn’t it?

*Audience cheering*

He somehow survived, which is surprising, but it means that we have another chance for him to trigger you-know-what!

*Audience begins chanting ‘Demon Incursion’*

Fingers crossed everyone!

We have a new exciting outcome on the board since ‘Jelly Bones’ has been replaced, and it now looks like this:

Scramble that Wheel

Miranda’s Wrath

10x Damage

Arney the Tickler

Lucky Die

Demon Incursion

Come on then, say the magic phrase!

I wondered what ‘Miranda’s Wrath’ would do, but seeing it on there suddenly inspired me.

“Mammon! Listen to me, I just had a great idea!”

Sigh
Not this again. I’m going to spin the wheel if you don’t say the words.

“Wait! It’s about your servitude thing! I think I’ve got a way to solve it.”

I’m listening…

“I know this Adjudicator who is looking for a pet.”

An Adjudicator? You’re not pulling my leg, right?

“His name is Breezy.”

Breezy?

Do you mean ‘THE BREEZE THAT TRANSCENDS MOMENTS AND GATHERS COSMIC DUST UPON A WEIGHING SCALE OF BONE’?

“Yes! That’s the one.”

Everyone around me was looking between me and the board, no doubt wondering what the hell was going on.

Alright, I’ll bite. I think I can handle being a pet.

And serving an Adjudicator would certainly be preferable to Gargalob.

But, you need to bring me a Contract of Servitude from this Adjudicator friend of yours.

“I’ll get it to you!” I promised.

“Why are you even trying to help this guy?” Panda muttered, confused.

“He’s a slave to the corporate hierarchy of Demons, so of course I’d help liberate him.”

Let’s not waste any more time.

Say the words.

“You’ve got it. Spin the Wheel!” I exclaimed.

The golden wheel began to spin and the red and green triangles blurred together into one color, until the flapper at the top started slowing it down and separating them. My eyes were glued to ‘Lucky Die’, but I thought ‘Scramble that Wheel’ might also be okay.

As it came to a stop, it rolled right past ‘10x Damage’ and settled in the middle of one that Panda had specifically warned me against.

Well, that’s unfortunate.

The result is:

‘Arney the Tickler’!
Demons can sleep easy, knowing this nightmarish abomination has been teleported to the world of ‘Dirt’ and is no longer able to hurt them.

Here is the effect:

‘The Demonic Nightmare Fiend, Arney the Tickler, is manifested into the GREAT GAME. He will hunt down Player ‘Gambit’ for the next 7 days.’

Truly a terrifying outcome!

And remember: If you die in your dreams, you die in real life!

It’s unlikely he will survive this one, folks!

*Audience cheering*

“Ah, shit,” Panda cursed.

An appraisal hit me out of nowhere, and, from the way everyone’s gazes shifted, it seemed it wasn’t just shown to me.

Then time resumed and my fist slammed into the Psychiatrist’s rose face, sending him flying down the street, his body tumbling and skipping across the asphalt, scraping off bits of his skin and flesh.

“Smack ‘im!” Brock squealed in joy.

Panda looked around anxiously, while I shadowboxed the air and advanced on the downed Boss.

“I don’t see Arney anywhere,” the plushie said. “Maybe he only shows up when you’re asleep.”

Tina’s serpent slithered forward and immediately lunged its fangs into the Psychiatrist, filling his body with green poison. The impact site of his unfurled face was starting to turn purple from Brock’s new upgraded curse.

Steve stayed back, watching Tina and I, while Chris the Backstabber didn’t waste a moment to join in on the kill, sticking close to me and waiting for an opening.

A hook-nailed double-jointed arm swept around Dr. Juliens as he got back onto his hooves. The strike caught Tina’s serpent in the side of the head, destroying it, but she managed to jump off it in time.

Instead of falling to the ground, neon-green hair blossomed to life on her bald head and eight thin serpents of the same energy shot out from her back and bit into the Boss, pumping even more venom into his system and slowing her descent.

The Psychiatrist swept his arm out and destroyed her magic, before releasing a high-pitched screech that caused a violent tremor around him and cratered the asphalt.

Chris used an ability that teleported him into the air above the Boss and he quickly fell down with both of his daggers, digging each of them into the side of Juliens’ neck.

“Watch out!” I yelled as I leapt forward with SPRING_HEEL.

The Backstabber kicked off from Dr. Juliens’ back while tearing out his blades and releasing a deluge of blood.

A second later I connected my fist into the middle of Juliens’ torso.

“Pow.”

---

ACTIVATING SCRIPT: Math.pow(Punch)!

Number of Punches recorded in fight: 31

Calculating 31 to the power of Punch

…

Calculations complete!

---

Though not charged anywhere near its full potential, the damage was still enough to cave in the Psychiatrist’s torso.

“He’s not dead yet!” Panda warned.

Chris surged forward and rammed his daggers into the Boss’ back, keeping him in place. I put Brock around Dr. Juliens’ neck and my left hand on his shoulder, and then pulled as hard as I could, while Chris repeatedly stabbed him in the back.

The sound of tearing skin and flesh came as I tore the Boss’ head from his neck.

As I tossed the meat rose head aside, Chris stumbled back a step and then plopped onto his ass.

“Thanks,” he said breathlessly.

Tina came over and looked at the headless corpse. She was back to being bald, and I got the sense that she transformed into Nina during her fights.

“Was that Dr. Juliens?” she asked.

“Yea.”

Tina kicked the headless body. “I like him better this way.”

“Gambit released him from the Asylum earlier,” Panda revealed.

“Snitch,” I said.

“Where’s the Moth Girl?” Chris asked from where he was sitting.

“The CPS took her, but I’ll get her back,” I replied.

“The Child Protective Services?” he asked, confused.

“Oh, you know them?”

“Of course?”

“He’s thinking of the wrong one,” Panda remarked.

“Is this your new group?” I asked, looking at the three he’d been with when we came here. One guy was already dead from his wounds, while Steve was desperately asking the other two if they had any Sanity Pills.

“They’re not very strong,” Chris remarked as he got back to his feet. “There were six of us until we hit up a nearby level 7 dungeon… Then we were immediately ambushed by this freaky guy.”

Neon-green hair sprouted to life atop Tina’s head, announcing the return of Nina.

“The Cold-hearted Survivor seeks the Lost Child. Bring him to the Temple.”

Chris looked at her. “Huh?”

“She says you’re coming with us,” I translated.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -130

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Chapter -130

“You know her?” Steve asked.

“Well shit,” Panda muttered.

I looked at my old friend from Calm Springs. She’d changed a lot since then. Her pale skin had turned grey like ash and there was a radioactive-green glow to her eyes. Her black hair was shaved away to reveal a smooth bald head and neon-green tattoos swam around on her exposed skin. She was wearing a short-sleeved leather trench coat, shorts that stopped mid-thigh, a leather corset, and high heels. Her entire outfit was black.

Unlike the time I’d seen her on a monitor during the first Event, there were no gnarled limbs sprouting from her back.

I pulled out my Looking Glass and appraised her through its damaged lens.

“So that’s what ‘Appears on Appraisal’ means,” I muttered.

Steve had pulled out a Looking Glass of his own and seemed worried. “Why does it say you’re a System Hacker?”

“Nina said you would be here!” Tina informed us cheerfully, ignoring Steve’s question.

“Do you know a way for me to rescue my friend?”

“Nina does!” she confirmed, before slipping into a different persona.

Neon-green hair appeared on her bald head and the glow in her eyes intensified. Her posture and aura changed completely, becoming someone way more dangerous.

Green energy sprouted from her long black nails and danced around her hands like a living serpent.

“The lost child is found in the temple, when the crestfallen hero gets his revenge!”

“Bee is? What temple is it?”

“Maybe she’s not referring to Bee?” Panda guessed. “What if there’s another Wayward Minor somewhere?”

I realized what he was hinting at. “If there is a different child and we find them, maybe we can get another beacon and use that to board the Hive Ship! No idea what temple she’s referring to though.”

“The World-Eater knows the passage!”

“The World-Eater?” Steve wondered, confused.

“I think she’s talking about the Metro Train,” I said.

“You’re unnervingly-good at guessing her bizarre words,” Panda muttered.

Nina blinked rapidly a few times, before the green-energy serpent disappeared from her hands and her neon hair vanished. Her posture changed again.

“Was that helpful?” Tina asked, a pleasant smile on her face.

“Uh, yeah…” Panda replied, then turned to whisper in my ear, “Don’t tell me we’re bringing her along.”

“Do you want to come with us to rescue Bee?” I asked Tina.

“Sure!”

“Gambit, are we sure that’s a good idea?” Steve asked, echoing Panda’s concerns. “She seems like trouble.”

“Shut up, Steve.”

“We can all be friends!” Tina said cheerfully.

“You don’t wanna be her ‘friend’, trust me,” Panda told Steve.

Tina looked at Panda with the same unerring smile. “If you keep mouthing off about me, I will tear your head off, Pandamonium.”

I wasn’t sure how it was possible, but Panda paled slightly at her words.

“I’m not entirely sure she can’t hurt me somehow,” he whispered in my ear, worried.

“Probably best to stay on her good side,” I agreed.

The neon-green hair flared to life on her bald head, as Nina returned.

“Baptize the Bus and manifest our Chariot.”

“Sure,” I replied and pulled out the Humanbus Brain. I set the pumpkin-sized ball of flesh on the ground, while thinking about a name to give it.

Tina returned, then locked eyes with Lordie atop my head.

“Can I pet that dog? Please?” she asked.

“Meow!”

“I’m not sacrificing you,” I told him, as I peeled his fingers free from my head and handed him to her.

Tina immediately began stroking Lordie atop his body and within seconds he was purring up a storm.

“I can’t tell if everything is weird because of the voices or because of you,” Steve said, glancing at me.

“Best get used to it,” Panda told him.

“That’s not very reassuring when coming from a plushie I didn’t know existed until now.”

“I’ll name it ‘Nicholas’,” I decided, then lifted up the brain and kissed it on its forehead.

“Hmm, this is a tough one,” I muttered, sharing the options with Tina and Steve.

“What the fudge?” Steve muttered.

“I want to ride a steed!” Tina exclaimed.

“Think Wormhole is your best bet,” Panda said.

Steve shook his head. “I think the Golf Cart might be the safest one. The other two sound awful.”

“Wormhole it is then!” I immediately decided.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -129

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

As mentioned, I'm back to posting 3 chapters per week, which means Chapter -130 won't be available until the 15th.

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Chapter -129

The Humanbus stopped right next to the charred husk of the gas station I’d blown up. From the windows, I could see the black pond that my Spin the Wheel had created.

“Is it me or has that gotten bigger?” I asked, as I walked to the front of the bus where the large brain filled the driver seat.

“It’s not just you.”

[THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING YOUR LOCAL BUS SERVICE!]

I reached over and dug my fist into the brain, before pulling as hard as I could.

[OUCHIE!]

The entire Humanbus started to rumble and the ghostly passengers all got up and flew towards the brain I’d destroyed, filling it up from within.

I immediately dove out of the door and tumbled head-over-heels a few times, before the entire bus just exploded, filling the area with light. Chunks of flesh rained down around me, along with fragments of the metallic parts of the vehicle.

---

Rules of Anarchy Deactivated!

Passive Deselected: Commuter Pass

Description:

Public Transport will function as normal for you.

Rule Violation:

Used your Commuter Pass to damage a Public Transport vehicle.

---

“Woops.”

“Sure seems very strict for something based on ‘Anarchy’,” Panda joked.

“Can I switch to another Rule?”

“Not yet, there’s still about 40 minutes left.”

“I thought you wanted to use the Safe Zone Sphere on the Humanbus,” Panda commented, dusting himself off despite the fact that he was already spotless.

“I’ll just call another one,” I said, right as an achievement appeared.

A large pumpkin-sized gooey ball of pink flappy flesh landed in my arms.

“…or not,” I muttered, sticking the reward in my inventory for now.

“There might still be a Humanbus or two in Madeville, since it didn’t say the entire Region, just Castleburg.”

“Ugh, I don’t wanna go there,” I replied, as I got back to my feet. “Is Skater Boy ready?”

“Still on cooldown. About 5 minutes remaining.”

“Guess I’ll run,” I said and started sprinting towards where the remains of my fight with the Ants were visible in the distance.

The area was cratered from the various landing pods, which were still firmly planted into the ground like the seeds from a gigantic tree. With the damaged road nearby, the destroyed gas station behind me, and the ruin brought to what had once been a hilly bit of shrubbery and grass, it looked like a scene from a war documentary.

Though the Aphid-Dogs, Minor Warden, and Queenguard were all gone, there were a group of Ants standing near where I’d died. Above them hovered a desk lamp, casting its warm light in a circle around them.

I frowned, but prepared to blast them away with Brock, who was still fully charged from earlier.

“Where’s Bee!” I yelled as I ran directly at them.

“Amoral Pervert detected!” said the Ants as one, lifting their spears.

“Don’t move!” I heard a human voice yell, before the Ants parted to let him out of the circle they formed. “Gambit! Is that you!?”

As I saw the smooth bald head and Hawaiian shirt, I gritted my teeth so hard I was sure my jaw would break.

“STEVE!”

I crouched down to activate SPRING_HEEL, then launched forward with my fist cocked back.

His eyes widened in fear, before he shouted: “Steve says: You have to be my friend!”

The tension went out of my arm and I ended up just landing on my feet and skidding to a halt in front of him.

“I WIILL FUCKING KILL YOU!” I shouted right into his face, though I was physically unable to move in any hostile manner towards him.

“I’m sorry, Gambit! I really didn’t mean to get you killed!”

“Fuck you!” I yelled. “Where is Bee!?”

“The Moth girl? The big orange-glowing creature took her onto some kind of pod with a chain leading back to the ship in the sky. They were pulled up there and then the whole thing just disappeared.”

“Son of a bitch!” I cursed. “This is all your fault!”

“I said I’m sorry!”

“He might be telling the truth,” Panda said, trying to calm me down, though I wasn’t having any of that bullshit.

“As soon as this power wears off, I’m going to tear out your tongue and slap you to death with it!”

“Gambit please! You have to believe me! Look, I even saved your items for you!” he pleaded, pointing to the group of Ants.

With a roar of impotent frustration, I marched towards them, punching one so hard he was sent ragdolling across the terrain.

“Tell the rest of them to run towards the black pond next to the gas station,” I said to Steve.

I put my fingers in my ears as he gave the command, and the Minor Collectors all moved back the way I’d come, following his orders.

Then I saw what they’d been guarding.

“Why does it look like that? What did you do?” I asked, looking down at my corpse. The head was missing and it looked like all the stuffing inside the body was gone.

“I didn’t do anything! After you died, this golden portal appeared and a bunch of Imps came out to ‘repossess’ your skeleton.”

“Oh…”

“I kind of thought that part of the Passive was a joke,” Panda said.

I rapped my left knuckle on my forehead, producing a sound of metal-on-metal. “Well, I still have the passive at least, but that’s a strange caveat.”

Above my corpse was a gold-glowing wisp.

I turned to look back at Steve, who was keeping his distance. “Did you take anything?”

“No, I didn’t take anything!”

I sighed loudly, before saying, “I should kill you for what you did, but thanks for protecting my items.”

“Matthew Twine did manage to take something,” he then said.

“Motherfucker!”

“I don’t know what it was, but he fled as soon as I got close.”

I stuck my hand into the Leftover Wisp and looted everything in quick succession. As far as I could tell, everything was still there, even the Coins. After equipping my Unicorn Suit, Schmonic Boots, Loincloth, Manhunter’s Badge, and rings, Lordie appeared on my head. The Transport Cage was back in my front coat pocket.

“Meow!” he complained

“Just be happy you didn’t die,” I told him.

I brought up my inventory to assess the damage.

---

Gambit’s Inventory x

---

????, unFake Plugin, Looking Glass, Conspiracy Whistle, Wet Grey Pajamas, Screwdriver, Pocket-Watch, Survival Kit, 6x Victory Champagne, Swan Fois Gras, Challenger’s Stopwatch, Paper Crown, Cultist Robes, Soul Compass, Sewer Map, Floor 13 Keycard, Regional Director’s Big Red Button, Safe Zone Sphere, I-Love-Sparkles Cap, Clean Pajamas, Humanbus Brain

---

GAME Coins: 2638.01

Safe Zone Tokens: 5

Lucky Dice: 1

Total Weight: 303.9215 Pandas

---

“Hmm, I have no idea what’s missing.”

“The Red Pawn and the Anointed Masks,” Panda said.

“Bastard.”

I tapped my Manhunter’s Badge, feeling it vaguely nudging me upwards. I looked the way it was pointing, but there was nothing there but the night sky, Messimer’s eye, and the descending moon. Still, I knew it was locked onto Bee.

“Ask him if he found a Transponder around here,” Panda said.

“I didn’t,” Steve replied.

I blinked slowly as realization set in. “You can see him?”

“I ran out of Sanity Pills…”

“Well, shit.”

“Are you going to rescue your friend? The spaceship is gone.”

“I’ll find a way to get it to come back somehow.”

“What about Matthew?”

“Fuck him.”

“So are we good? You’re not gonna punch me in the nuts again, right? That fudging hurt.”

“You owe me,” I told him. “So you’re coming along and helping me fix this mess you created.”

“That’s giving him way more blame than he’s owed,” Panda defended the guy.

“Bee wouldn’t have been captured and I wouldn’t have died, if he hadn’t done what he did.”

Steve lowered his head.

I looked up at the lamp floating above him, casting its light around us.

“Did you get that from the IKEA?”

“Yeah… I thought it would be better than it actually is. But trust me, you don’t want to go there. The trouble was not worth the reward.”

Before I could reply, a sound caught my attention.

[OH BOY! OH BOY!]

Wheels screeched along the warped-and-melted road nearby, before a Taxi came thundering right at us, its headlights shining so bright that it was impossible to see.

Steve immediately cowered behind me, before the car spun on its front wheels and flung its passenger out on the ground before us. Then the Taxi exploded in a shower of flesh and metal, just like the Humanbus had.

The passenger got up from the ground and dusted herself off. She took a step to the side and, a second later, half a door cut through where she’d been standing.

“Ohai Gambit!”

“Tina?”

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F-tier Assasin - Chapter 6

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Chapter 6

“Assignment,” Ashlan said, after sitting up in the bed he’d borrowed from the Guild.

< < Assignment > >

< < Ashlan Grey — Assassin (F-tier) > >

< < Proficiency > >

< < Novice I — 1/10 Proficiency > >

< < Skills > >

< < Lurk > >

< < Contracts > >

< < ——— > >

            It wasn’t all a fever dream then. I did actually go up 1 Point.

            He looked around, feeling like it was the first time taking in his surroundings, which it might well have been. After all, he’d passed out as soon as he touched the bed, as evident by the clothes still on his body.

The room was larger than his entire apartment in Northside. The bed alone was enough for three, if one were to sleep horizontally at the end, and yet it was meant for only a single person it seemed, given the rest of the furniture. There was a dresser for clothes, below which his sandals had been placed; a desk with a single leather chair next to the door and prepared with a crisp stack of papers, as well as an inkwell and pen; and a nightstand to the left of his soft feather-stuffed pillow, upon which was an oil lamp and a single linen pouch that seemed to the point of bursting with coins.

Quick as lightning, Ashlan snatched the pouch, hearing the chinking sound of its contents, before immediately pouring it out on the duvet his legs were still snuggled under for warmth.

He quickly began counting out the coins. They were all of the ten denomination and there was exactly fifty of them in total.

“I’m rich,” he muttered in awe. The next two weeks of rent for his Northside Apartment were already paid for, and if he could expect to at least make this much every week, if not more, then he would quickly be able to move to a better place.

Knock-knock!

A jolt went through him and he frantically shoved the coins back into the pouch, before stuffing it under his grimy linen shirt.

The door opened as Estrid the Maid came in.

“Good morning, Ashlan. Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you.”

“The baths have been prepared, if you would like to wash up.”

Ashlan blinked, then immediately jumped out from under the covers.

“Take me there immediately!”

Estrid escorted him to the bathhouse, and, though they had apparently travelled the same route the night before to get from the Smith’s workshop to the room he borrowed, he couldn’t remember at all. The hallways between the various parts of the Guild were like tunnels with odd doorways and branching corridors here-and-there, as well as occasional handprints on the walls for those other entrances.

It isn’t like me to forget such things. I must’ve been really tired…

“What plans do you have today?” Estrid asked him, as they went down a right-going tunnel that led in the opposite direction of the lounge and kitchen.

“I’ll go back to my apartment. I need to see one of my friends. We’d agreed to meet last night, so she’s probably pissed about me standing her up.”

“Will you be staying there for tonight?”

Ashlan was caught off-guard by the question. “What do you mean? Don’t everyone go their separate ways, and only come here for special events and the Contract Slate?”

“It depends on the person. Do you not like your room?”

“My room? Are you saying that one is for me??”

“Of course. It is part of your Guild privileges. You passed the Intro test, so you are given a room and free food, along with the other services we have, such as the Chaplain for confessions and guidance, the Smith for new tools and weapons, and other amenities such as our Baths, Contract Slate, and Arboretum.”

Ashlan stopped in his tracks. “Are you serious?”

“Of course. Why would I lie?”

“Why is the System providing all of this?”

“It is not all thanks to the System, though it has granted the Guild its retainer for a Smith, Chaplain, and Maid. Most of these perks come from the decisions of some of the first Leaders the Assassins’ Guild had. The Contract Slate itself is older than I am, crafted by Horvath the legendary A-tier Magical Artificer and commissioned by one of the past Leaders.”

“But why all the rest? What is the benefit of having the Assassins live underground in hiding?”

“It is not by choice, Ashlan. The world is often unkind to your Profession, no matter how important it is to the well-being of all. Having a place where Assassins can feel safe was deemed a priority.”

He nodded. “I guess I can understand that. But I’ll still return to my old apartment. I have a lot of friends in Northside and I need the feel the sun on my face when I wake up, otherwise I’ll go mad.”

“You do not have to make a permanent decision,” she said, while giving him a pitying smile that he didn’t understand. “Your room will always be here when you need it.”

“Thank you.”

They rounded the end of a tunnel with a branching hallway that led to a place with running water, before coming to a shorter corridor with one doorway on either side, both with a privacy curtain covering what lay beyond.

“The left is for women; the right is for men. Within, there is a large communal bath, as well as soaps and small stalls for washing down. As you enter, there is a cubby with basket for your clothes, as well as clean replacements and a towel for drying off. Please make use of them. I will wash the clothes you leave there and have them brought to your room before you are done with your breakfast.”

“Estrid, you’re amazing.”

The Maid smiled. “Enjoy your bath.”

Ashlan almost ran through the doorway, but schooled his excitement into obedience. Last time he’d been in a bathhouse was back when he was seven. One of his mother’s clients had been so happy with her new dress that she’d invited them there as a sign of appreciation. From the way she still brought up the story, it was clearly one of his mother’s proudest moments as a Seamster.

The dark wooden floor of the corridor transformed into smooth white tiles with blue ink drawn on them to resemble wet footprints, and the stone walls were covered with smaller tiles upon which were drawn a scenery of the farmlands beyond the walls of Eventide.

Steam wafted from further in and the humidity rose significantly. He found the cubby that Estrid had described, and there were four baskets, with only two not in use. One of the people within was definitely Vagan, as his fancy clothes were unmistakable in the basket, while the other one was just missing its towel, but had no clothes inside to show who was using it.

Ashlan easily picked out the one meant for him, though he couldn’t really say how he knew it was his. He pulled off his sleeveless linen shirt, cheap leather belt, overlarge linen shorts, and lastly his threadbare underwear. He was elated to see that the clothes in the basket included a new pair, as well as some comfy-looking socks. The other two pieces were a short-sleeved light-grey shirt and black shorts.

There’s no way I can wear that to Northside… he thought to himself.

If Frelly sees me in that, I won’t ever hear the end of it.

He grabbed the towel and shoved it under his arm, then followed the blue footsteps on the floor around the corner and came face-to-face with Vagan who sat down by the end of the room. The man was submerged up to his chin in a large square tub with enough space for twenty people if everyone rubbed shoulders.

There was no one else besides the Guild Leader though.

“Good morning, Ashlan.”

“Morning, V.”

Vagan’s right eye twitched slightly at the nickname, but he didn’t challenge it.

Hmm, guess he doesn’t actually appreciate that sort of comradery. Even after his talk yesterday.

“Mister V,” he corrected himself and the Leader laughed in response.

“Is it too much to just say my name?”

“You’re right, V doesn’t suit you.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll come up with something else,” Ashlan promised, then marched right up to the end of the large tub.

“What are you doing?” Vagan asked.

“Am I not allowed to get in while you’re using it?”

“You have to wash yourself down first,” he said, pointing to three low cubicles separated with metre-tall walls and each having a dark wooden stool to sit on.

“Isn’t the point of a bath that it makes you clean?” Ashlan replied.

“We are sharing the tub, so it is impolite.”

“I see.”

He walked over and sat down on the stool of the nearest cubicle. There was a bucket below a spout fixed into the wall. Next to the spout was a handprint. Without the need to second-guess, he placed his hand on the symbol. After a second, steaming water came out of the spout and fell down into the bucket.

“Woah.”

“Pretty neat, right?” asked Vagan. He’d sat up slightly so he could watch Ashlan.

“Whatever Artefact is powering this must be ridiculously-expensive.”

“It is,” said the Leader with the sort of confidence that hinted that he knew exactly how much it was worth.

Perks of being the Leader, I suppose.

After the bucket was full, Ashlan removed his hand from the symbol and started making use of the nearby brush and scrubbing sponge to get rid of all the filth on his skin and in his hair.

“Do not neglect the soap,” Vagan told him.

This guy really cares about cleanliness. But, then again, this is my first wash in over a week, and I’m normally not this thorough.

After he was finally done and his skin was scrubbed to the colour of salmon pink, he was given the go-ahead by Vagan and finally climbed down into the tub, sinking all the way down until just his eyes were above the water.

I could stay in here all day.

After lifting himself up so that his head was above water, he said, “I thought someone else was in here with you. I saw that two of the baskets were missing towels.”

Vagan frowned. “Harmon, seriously?”

The scarecrow just appeared at the opposite end from the Leader, also submerged to his chin, with his grey hair covering his face like an ominous veil.

“Is it a crime to wish to bathe undisturbed?” he whispered.

“It’s a little creepy that he didn’t know you were here,” Ashlan offered.

“I guess.”

“I thought you had already left,” Vagan said.

“Estrid is making waffles today. I have delayed my plans until then.”

The Leader sighed. “I will never figure out what makes you tick.”

“What plans?” Ashlan asked curiously.

Vagan answered before Harmon could. “Every System Day, he stocks up on Private Contracts and blazes through them all in a day.”

“It is easier to eliminate targets when they are relaxed and believe themselves safe.” Harmon’s tone didn’t manage to be as cold and terrifying as Anisette’s, but his words were still deeply-unsettling to Ashlan.

I guess most people would feel at ease on System Day, especially if they thought there was a bounty on their heads.

“Privates can be submitted by anyone, right?”

“No, Assassin Contracts do not work that way,” Vagan replied. “And I know why you ask, but let me clarify something. The System vets the Contracts that we are sent. We are not given frivolous tasks to murder the innocent, contrary to popular belief.”

“It wouldn’t allow us to kill just anyone, as that can destabilise its carefully laid plans,” Harmon added. “Many of the Privates I have accepted for today are for legitimate targets, such as runaway criminals, monsters beyond the walls of Eventide, and corrupt or evil citizens.”

“I was worried Private Contracts would be in the morally-grey zone,” he replied in relief.

“Unless it is an emergency, the System never gives us more than one Contract simultaneously. It respects that we need time to lay a plan and accordingly assigns us the most important target that it believes us individually-capable of handling.”

“Privates are a way for the System to handle the less-important targets, although it does have to rely on other people submitting the Contracts.”

“Does that kind of setup actually work?” Ashlan asked. “Feels like a lot of bad people would slip through the cracks.”

“It is not without its flaws,” Harmon admitted.

Vagan got up, running a hand through his hair, while the hot water cascaded off him. “Are you two going to stay?”

“I’m staying,” Ashlan replied, not feeling ready to return to the ‘real world’ yet.

Harmon also remained in the large tub.

As Vagan towelled off and went to retrieve his clothes, Ashlan leaned back and stretched out fully, making sure to absorb every last bit of heat he could.

The scarecrow was just sitting there, not really seeming to show much care about anything.

He’s probably just bad at expressing his emotions, but if he is driven by something like the desire for waffles, then I know we can get along.

“Harmon, I wanted to ask: why’d you help me in the Intro Contract?”

“We are not allowed to interfere with other Assassins’ Contracts. What I did was not helping. I was heading in the same direction as you, by means which allowed you to find an opening in Irongate’s defences, but I didn’t go out of my way to help you, thus the System does not deem it as assistance. You would have failed if I aided you, after all.”

“It didn’t seem to care about me using my friends as a distraction.”

“That is different. The System allows us to utilise our connections for our Contracts, as these can be tools in someone’s toolset. Maggie Margot often utilises her deep pockets to bypass security checkpoints, and utilising another person as a distraction is no different.”

“Gotcha. But still, you said you were following me until then, and you even allowed me to see you.”

“That you could see me has a simple explanation: we both have the same Skill.”

“You have Lurk as well??”

“It’s what allows me to go unnoticed.”

“I couldn’t see you in the Guild when I entered nor today when I came in here.”

“You were not using the Skill.”

“Oh, right…”

So, the S-tier version of Lurk literally allows him to become invisible, regardless of light or shadow. But…

“I’ve never heard of Skills interacting like that.”

“I believe it is an unintended side-effect of what happens to our bodies when the Skill is activated. Lurk does not rewrite reality to hide us from sight, rather, it partially relocates us to the In-Between.”

“In-Between? What’s that? Some separate layer of existence?”

“Yes.”

Ashlan blinked in surprise.

“Wait, does that mean that Trackers and other Professions with Spotting abilities are able to peer into this place?”

“If they are powerful enough, yes.”

“Is this ‘In-Between’ layer also how you were able to go through walls?”

“You noticed that? You really are observant.”

“It was obvious. You couldn’t have gone through the entrance without alerting Aghi and the people inside the Guild. Or wait, could you?”

“I do have a Skill that allows me to silence an area and limit the noise produced within, but it would not obscure the movements, so you are correct. My Phase Through skill briefly transports me to a layer of the In-Between where solid objects have gaps in them. It’s a very handy Skill.”

“I’ll say.”

Harmon sat up and swept his long wet hair back behind his ears so that his face was visible. “I took an interest in you when I saw you at the Assignment Idol. You had the same reaction as me. You saw the eye move, didn’t you?”

“That wasn’t normal??”

“No.”

“I was wondering why no one ever told me about that! I thought for sure it was one of those things where everyone manages to keep it a secret, because it’s fun to watch the new guy squirm.”

“I used to think it was something all S-tiers saw, but realised that was incorrect. Then I thought maybe it was an Assassin thing. That was also incorrect.”

“So, what’s the reason for someone seeing the eye move?”

He shrugged. “No idea.”

I wonder if it’s a sign that the System takes a special interest in us? Or maybe that we have some unique trait?

“I’ve been wondering why it would show it to an F-tier,” he muttered, clearly having given it a lot of thought. “So, I followed you to see how you’d handle your Intro.”

“And?”

“Still no idea.”

“It’s not because we both have Lurk?”

“No. My old Guild Leader in Witchfell started with the same Skill, and he didn’t see the eye move either.”

“Maybe it’s random, just like the Assignments?”

“They’re not random.”

“They’re as close to random as you can get. I’ve been watching them every Freya’s Day since I was a kid, so I’m willing to bet on it.”

“Let us put it to the test next week then.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Yes.”

Harmon suddenly sniffed the air, then he shot upright.

“It’s time for waffles.”

Ashlan felt like he might burst into tears as he was digging into the crunchy-but-soft round waffle on his plate. He had been ordered by Vagan to use a fork, but his hands and face were still covered in syrup from his initial attempt to eat them with his fingers.

“Were you raised by animals??” Vagan asked, clearly frustrated at how Ashlan was stabbing his fork into the waffles and gulping them down in a single bite.

“Now, now, Vagan, be kind to the boy,” Estrid cooed.

We can’t all have been raised in White Coast, he thought but did not say. After all, one of the tenets of the Guild was to respect his seniors.

“Why are you only scolding Ash!?” Thea protested, her face and hands also covered in syrup, while she pointed to Harmon, whose dessert was still under construction.

He’d added a layer of strawberry jam to the bottom-most waffle, then a layer of the strange-but-sweet foam that Estrid called ‘whipped cream’, then another waffle with blackberry jam on both sides, and more foam on top. As we all turned to look at him, he shrunk into himself and slinked off to a secluded corner with his plate. We continued to watch as he grabbed a handful of small chocolate pieces and the glass jug of syrup, before sprinkling both all over his tower. It looked less like a breakfast dessert and more like an art project.

“You’re all animals,” Vagan said in disgust, while still only on his first waffle, which he was dissecting with a knife and eating piece by tiny piece using a fork.

“How are you even planning on eating that?” Thea asked Harmon.

The S-tier flicked his wrist and a dagger appeared in his right hand.

“Harmon!” Estrid said. “No weapons in the living room!”

Before she could confiscate his dagger, he quickly used it to slice apart his tower and stuff each piece into his mouth without the whole thing falling apart. It was like watching a street Performer, as the waffles and whipped cream just vanished from one moment to the next.

When the Maid stopped in front of his corner table, he handed her the dagger, which was completely spotless.

Thea’s eyes were locked in on the weapon and it was clearly extremely expensive, given the way she was salivating.

Harmon repeated his tower, but added another waffle to make it even higher, but this time he used a simple butter knife to repeat his performance, still without spilling a single piece.

After the most indulgent breakfast Ashlan had ever had, he retrieved his newly-washed clothes and was ready to return home to Northside. Before he could ask someone to show him which way to take, Thea approached him with an oily cloth wrapped around something.

“Here,” she said. “I made this for you.”

Ashlan took it from her hands, the heady smell of the oil filling his nose. As he unwrapped it, a single spearhead-looking weapon lay within.

“What is it?”

“You can’t tell?” Thea asked, almost sounding offended.

“I don’t know a lot about weapons,” he replied.

“You can use it as a normal dagger by holding the handle.”

He picked it up as she described and felt how there was a bit of rough texture on the hollow pipe-like end. It fit perfectly in his grip and the weight was balanced well. There were two holes on either side of the handle as well and, before he could ask, Thea explained:

“If you have a pole or a simple stick, you can easily insert it in the hollow opening to make a spear with just a single nail to hold it together. You can also tie a small rope or string to the ring inside the handle to make a tool to assist with climbing. And lastly, it’s been weighed such that it can be thrown like a dart.”

“That’s very versatile,” he commented, flipping it around to look inside the hollow part of the handle and seeing a little ring buried within. It would be finnicky to tie something to it, but not impossible.

“Harmon said that you could use something with a lot of utility, so I came up with this.”

I don’t even know anything about fighting with a knife, but I’m meant to use this to kill my targets?

Ashlan couldn’t help but feel uneasy. The Spearhead Dagger was the most blatant symbol of the fact that he was going to be heading down a path steeped in blood. Even with Vagan and Harmon’s assurances, the fact that he had to become a killer to thrive was still hard to swallow.

“Thank you, Thea,” he said, folding the cloth back over the weapon.

He didn’t know where to put it, until Estrid came up with a small bag and accompanying belt.

“You can put your things in here,” she told him.

Ashlan took the bag and looked it over, then inspected the belt. The quality was pretty high, but it was made to not look as expensive as it was.

Dad will steal this if I ever show it to him.

“This must’ve been pricy,” he muttered.

“Do not worry about that,” the Maid replied. “I also took the liberty of procuring you a new belt. Your old one is…”

“Crap?” he added helpfully.

“Your words, not mine,” she said with a glint in her eyes.

“Thank you, Estrid. For the waffles and dinner as well. And the hospitality.”

“Are you not coming back?” Thea asked, concerned.

“I’ll be back,” he promised. “Don’t know when though.”

He stuffed the Spearhead Dagger into the bag, as well as his reward money, before replacing his old belt with the new and sliding it through the straps of the bag.

“You need better footwear,” Vagan commented as he came over.

“Maybe I’ll buy some later,” Ashlan replied, well-knowing he wouldn’t be spending his money on that. Though his sandals were definitely in need of an upgrade.

“Is Harmon still here?” he asked.

“He already left,” said Vagan.

Ashlan tried not to let his disappointment show, but he’d wanted the S-tier to show him how to use the special exits from the Guild.

“I can take you to Northside,” Vagan said.

“You’d do that?”

“Today is my day off. Let me get my boots and we can go.”

Vagan took Ashlan to the foyer where he’d initially entered, but instead of going through the door that’d lead up to the Chaplain’s chapel, he placed his hand on the symbol in the hallway just beyond where they kept the slippers, shoes, and coats.

The wall opened to reveal a hallway that went straight for several metres, before opening up into some large dark chamber. Ashlan followed Vagan into the darkness, feeling the comforting feeling of Lurk activating, but totally unable to see. Especially when the door behind them shut and killed all the light.

“Do you have Darksight?”

“No.”

“Me neither,” Vagan replied. “The rest all do, making them a headache to keep up with down here.”

He pulled something from his fancy blue coat and suddenly a spark ignited in his hand, setting fire to a torch that’d been conveniently left attached to the wall of the dark hallway. He pulled the torch out of its holder, before lighting another nearby and giving it to Ashlan.

“Is that an Artefact?” he asked, as he saw the little metal device Vagan had used to create fire.

“No, it is just a little thing Thea made. You should have her make you one as well. I think she charges about four-hundred for it.”

“Four-hundred!?”

“Cheap, is it not? You cannot buy them anywhere else for that price.”

Wait, that’s cheap!?

“Come on.”

They moved out of the hallway and into the large chamber. As they walked, their footsteps echoed through the darkness. Because of the torch he was holding, Ashlan was unable to activate his Skill, but since he had no means to see in the dark, he was reluctant to give up his light.

“What is this place?” he asked, as his light caught on the side of a massive pillar that seemed to stretch up into the distant ceiling above.

“It has many different names. Some call it the Undercity or the Old City, but both of those names are misleading. This is not a city. It is just a vast interconnected sewer and water storage system. Most do not know it exists, as it lies too deep for anyone to discover on accident. For some reason, the System has kept this place intact, even though it is no longer in use.”

“And this can take me to Northside?”

“It can take you anywhere in the city, Ashlan.”

“Anywhere?”

“Anywhere,” he repeated with a grin in his voice.

I feel as if this alone explains why Assassins have the ability to appear and disappear anywhere within Eventide.

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -128

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Chapter -128

I sped through the streets that lay between Calm Springs Asylum and the industrial area where I’d died, throwing caution to the wind and doing everything I could to increase the speed of my longboard.

            While I slid along the façade of an apartment block only a few streets away from the kindergarten where I’d first met Bee, Panda told me to activate my Rules of Anarchy, since the Respawn was used up. All my other cooldowns had reset, but there was nothing that could take me there any faster.

            “If only I hadn’t gotten rid of Backdoor,” I grumbled, as I landed on the asphalt and shot ahead with a new burst of speed.

            [SEE YOU LATER, CROCODILE!]

            The longboard disappeared below me and I slipped forward, hitting my chin against the rough pavement and sliding along it for several yards before coming to a stop.

            “Argh! Fucking shitty board always runs out when I need it!”

            The skin on my chin was worn away and I could feel my cold silver skeleton, when I touched the injury with a finger.

            “I’m gonna burn my Time Save,” I said.

            “Don’t be an idiot,” Panda scolded me. “I told you, use the Rules of Anarchy. I think the Commuter Pass can get you there faster than running.”

            “Oh, right… Rules of Anarchy(Commuter Pass).”

---

Rules of Anarchy Activated!

Passive Selected: Commuter Pass

Description:

Public Transport will function as normal for you.

---

“Okay, I can work with this,” I said.

“I need a Bus!”

---

REQUEST RECEIVED!

Your current location has been added to the route of the nearest ‘Bus’.

Please wait patiently for it to arrive.

---

I put my pajamas back on and started blowing air into Brock, just in case the Pass didn’t work like I thought.

“Wouldn’t a Taxi have been better?”

“The Bus will protect me better than a Taxi,” I replied.

“Yeah, but it’s operating as ‘normal’ right, so do you really have a say in where it goes? Also, that Queenguard one-shot the last one you summoned.”

[YUMMY-YUMMY: A PASSENGER FOR MY TUMMY!]

“We’re gonna find out,” I said, as the sound of tearing and protesting metal announced the arrival of the Humanbus in the distance.

For the next minute, I could track its progress towards me by the sounds of all the cars and obstacles it shoved aside or destroyed.

Then suddenly it was just there at the end of the street, the massive hubcap-sized eyes shining its intense glow at me, while the mouth beneath salivated, and handprints pressed against the window above.

A release of air and steam came from a door in the side of its ‘head’ and I slowly approached it.

“Can you take me to the industrial area near the highway? There should be a gas station and grill in the area.”

[YUMMY-YUMMY: A PASS-HOLDER GETS TO DECIDE! NOW GET IN MY TUMMY!]

“Pretty sure that’s your head,” I replied, before placing my foot on the raised step in the doorway and using one of the hand-bars to pull myself up and inside.

Before I could change my mind, the doors slammed shut behind me.

Directly next to where I’d entered was the place for the driver, but that whole part of the interior was reserved for an enormous pink brain. Gloopy synapse arms connected to the rest of the interior like wires that crawled along the floor and ceiling.

[HAVE A SEAT!]

[ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL ARRIVAL: 15 MINUTES!]

[SIT BACK AND RELAX!]

I found an available seat, though many were already occupied by expressionless ghosts. The upholstery was clearly made from skin and there were ugly stitches criss-crossing the cushions and backrests, with small clumps of hair sticking out here-and-there.

“Ugh.”

I sat down and, to my surprise, it was actually rather comfortable.

Then the whole interior lurched as the Humanbus coiled into a U-turn and began blazing down the street towards my destination, its countless feet pushing it to speeds that surpassed what even my longboard was capable of.

“Brock forgot to say, but he is now level 9.”

I looked at the balloon gauntlet. “Really? That was fast. Did the level-up requirements change?”

“Inspect.”

“It’s World Boss kills required now, huh? That shouldn’t be so hard to achieve.”

The level 9 upgrade window immediately appeared:

“They’re all related to the Purple curse,” Panda muttered.

“I thought it already had the Infection effect?”

“Pretty sure that went away thanks to the All-Mother’s Pearnana counter-curse.”

“At any rate, I’m picking Anti-Heal,” I said.

The plushie nodded in agreement. “Good choice.”

I pulled out the Warden Juice I’d gotten from the achievement earlier and unscrewed the thin metal lid on the glass jug, before chugging the ‘juice’ within. Electrical zaps hit me as it ran down my gullet and into my stomach. I was fairly sure that, without my Purple curse, it would’ve tasted like battery acid, but instead it was just like a subtle note of eggplant, which was somehow worse.

“Zap is really powerful, right?”

“Powerful but also debilitating,” Panda said. “Currently, its maximum potential power would be 1416, which seems just on the cusp of what the Adjudicator will have to deal with, but the issue is that if it fails to kill your target, you’ve voluntarily locked yourself out of all your abilities…”

“The other two options sound lame,” I muttered.

“They’re good utility. The Prison would especially come in handy.”

“I’m still picking Zap. I’ll just have to find Shellby and buy her Sea Urchin to turn it into something less detrimental.”

Panda frowned, but then nodded. “Fine.”

[YUMMY-YUMMY: OUR DESTINATION IS COMING UP ON THE LEFT! PREPARE TO EVACUATE MY TUMMY!]

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Madman Apocalypse - Cover Art & progress photos

Heya everybody!

Just today, I got back the final version of some cover art I had commissioned two months ago by the fantastic Creadfectus. I think it turned out super well and it will be slapped on RoyalRoad soon.

Have a look at the progress as well, I think it's really cool to see how the image evolved.

I commissioned this art, and will commission two more, as I have plans to publish the story next year. I can't give you a concrete date yet, but I can reveal that I have signed a deal that means I'll have an audiobook made, which is super exciting. Once I know who the narrator is and all that, I will make sure to update you guys. There will also be a giveaway of free audiobook copies around launch, but again, more on that when I have a concrete date for you guys, but it won't be until Q2 at least. By then, the first 3 books will be done, and we should no doubt be deep in book 4 if not 5.

If you want, you can download the image below.

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -127

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Chapter -127

I gasped as I appeared in front of a window in a deeply-familiar room. There were bars covering the outside of the thick tempered glass, and light from the moon shone through to illuminate the white walls.

            “Fuuuuck!!!” I yelled, slamming my forehead into the glass hard enough to crack it. “I’m going to tear Steve’s fucking spine out of his body and beat him to death with it!!!”

            A bunch of pop-ups hit me all at once:

            A glass jug and blue pajamas landed in my arms, and, as I caught up with the last achievement, I realized that I was utterly naked.

            “Inventory!” I said, desperately.

---

Gambit’s Inventory x

---

????, unFake Plugin

---

GAME Coins: 0

Safe Zone Tokens: 0

Total Weight: 6.1115 Pandas

---

            “Fuck, fuck, fuck!!”

            I lifted my right hand and breathed a sigh of relief to see that Brock was still there, although it raised some uncomfortable questions I wasn’t ready to prod at right now.

            “You ‘n me foreva, right Gamby!?”

            “Sure, Brock.”

            A wet pop sounded from the middle of the room and Pandamonium appeared on the floor between me and the heavy cell door left wide open.

            “Gambit! We have to go back! We have to save Bee! Since you respawned, all your abilities are off cooldown!”

            I immediately put the pajamas on and lifted him onto my shoulder.

            “Alright, let’s do this: Rootkit.infiltrate( )!”

---

ERROR!
No target selected.

---    

            “Fuck!”

            “We’ll have to run back.”

            “I know, I know. I’m going!”

            I stormed out of the cell, before coming face-to-face with Not-Mike.

            With a quick jab, I pulverized his head with my balloon gauntlet, then looked around for the way out of the cell block.

            “The layout has changed,” Panda muttered.

            “We don’t have time for this,” I complained. “Dungeon-Break!”

---

ACTIVATING DUNGEON MAP

Total Player number: 3

Nearest Player: 17 yards

Total Enemy number: 23

Nearest Enemy: 3 yards

Nearest Boss: 80 yards

Nearest Exit: 80 yards

---

            A map popped up, showing a dungeon layout that looked like a snail’s shell seen from the side, with the Boss and Exit in the middle, and red dots all across marking the enemies, as well as two golden dots in a nearby corridor. I was surprised that there were Players in this place, but it didn’t stop me from immediately clicking the ‘Eject All Players & Enemies’ button.

            I clicked ‘Yes’ and immediately felt a falling sensation, before my vision went black.

I landed on hard asphalt and my Transition Lenses passive immediately kicked in. The sound of two Players talking in agitated voices was quickly deafened by the roar of the monsters that’d been ejected alongside us.

            “Skater Boy!” I said and summoned the longboard, before taking off in the direction of where our battle had taken place.

The two Players behind me immediately started running as the former Asylum patients and orderlies started chasing them. Dr. Juliens, the Psychiatrist, looked around briefly before walking in the direction of downtown.

            One look at the sky already told me it was too late, since the Hive Ship was gone, but I was trying to convince myself that Bee might be waiting next to my body, with Steve and Matthew Twine somehow having been able to repel the Ants.

-----------------------------

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -126

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

So, I wasn't lying. This chapter is almost 4k words. But don't get used to this! Anyway, quite a lot happening and it felt wrong to cut it up.

Also, minor edit to Chapter -124, in that I forgot to add the 'Safe Zone Sphere' to the Leftovers from the Red Pawn fight.

If you didn't read last chapter's message, then I urge you to go back and read it, since, starting next week, it'll be 3 chapters per week every week.

-----------------------------

Chapter -126

Under normal circumstances, the friction of the longboard’s plastic wheels and the asphalt would’ve created enough heat to melt the wheels at the speed with which I was traveling, but fortunately the board utterly ignored physics.

            “You’re already past 70 punches built-up,” Panda said.

            I took that as my cue to stop shadowboxing and begin blowing air into the valve attached to Brock.

            Bee was still clinging to me, but she’d take off as soon as I was fully buffed.

            “Make sure not to go too far,” Panda told her, completely attuned to my thoughts in this moment.

            Behind us, the Aphid-Dog was about three leaps shy of landing on top of our heads, despite the fact that we were flying down the road. Ahead, the newly-arrived ‘Whiskers’ was patiently waiting like a roadblock.

            I pulled my mouth off of the valve. “Go!” I yelled.

            “Gamby, let’s go nuclear on their arses!!”

            Bee released her grip on my shoulders and lifted into the air, curving right, while I continued heading directly for the Aphid. I clenched my right fist to trigger the Sea Urchin Ring, covering my arm in a black spiky carapace. Then I crouched down on the board, further accelerating my speed.

            The Captain, who was sitting atop the Aphid-Dog, seemed to realize he ought to move. But he was too slow, because by the time he issued the command to his pet, I was already soaring through the air after triggering SPRING_HEEL to shoot off from my board.

            My balloon gauntlet was pulled back, locked-and-loaded. With every split-second that passed, the Aphid-Dog grew as the distance shrunk, really making me appreciate just how enormous it was. In fact, if only counted for height, it was taller than the Metro Train.

The massive spotlight that flooded the area with a harsh white glare was reflected off the black carapace covering its back and the plate protecting its head. It was clearly a bastardized offspring of real aphids and ants, because aphids didn’t have mandibles nor that kind of carapace armor.

“Focus!” Panda yelled.

Instinctively, I swung my arm out, booping the Aphid-Dog right on what might’ve been its nose.

“Pow!” I shouted.

---

ACTIVATING SCRIPT: Math.pow(Punch)!

Number of Punches recorded in fight: 77

Calculating 77 to the power of Punch

…

Calculations complete!

---

A bright flash, like a new sun that existed for a single nanosecond, appeared at the point of impact. The giant spotlight was rendered dim by comparison to the awesome energy that fired from Brock. The sound was not so much a noise as it was the simple deafening of all other sounds.

The Aphid-Dog and its Handler were turned to ash in an instant and the road in front of me became a bubbling boiling mess, with the guard-rails glowing white-hot and dripping globs of liquid metal.

My momentum kept me flying forward towards this unpleasant landing, but Bee quickly swooped in to catch me, though it hadn’t been part of the plan.

“That was amazing!” she yelled.

“We need the Transponder!” I told her, but our speed was still so great that it was hard to make a full 180 to go scoop up the wisp that appeared where the Aphid-Dog and Captain had been.

“Second dog coming in!” Panda said, just as the creature landed in front of the boiling bit of road with a loud boom! that lifted dirt and debris into the air.

“I’m gonna use the Rebel’s Ring to turn its armor into a bomb!” Bee explained, as she banked hard to turn us around, her wings clearly struggling since she was holding me and I now weighed five times more than normal due to my Silver Skeleton. In fact, we were clearly beginning to dip down towards the ground faster than we could turn.

“Drop me off here,” I told her and she immediately let me fall.

I landed in some dry shrubbery off to the side of the road with enough power to crater the earth and pulverize its branches, then immediately re-equipped my Unicorn Suit.

Bee picked up speed and shot straight for the Aphid-Dog in what looked like a suicide bombing run. The Captain was sitting behind the plate-covered head of the beast, indistinguishable from the other ants we’d encountered, except for a black baseball cap that had a pink heart on it with the name ‘Sparkles’ inside. When he spotted Bee’s approach, he put his right hand on his stinger and pulled out an orange-glowing lasso that he immediately snapped in her direction.

I picked up a rock and finger-flicked it right at his forehead, making his head snap back and knocking off his cap, as well as throwing off his aim.

Bee maneuvered just slightly to get around him, before tapping the top of the Aphid-Dog’s back carapace with the Rebel’s Ring and ducking off to the side.

“My Soul Blade is ready, right?”

“It is,” Panda confirmed.

I started blowing air into Brock’s valve, while watching the Captain frantically retrieve his baseball cap and direct his pet to follow after Bee, who was buzzing around in a confusing zigzag pattern.

As soon as the balloon gauntlet was fully-charged, I started sprinting after the giant insect, which, in its eagerness to catch Bee, was exposing its back to me. They clearly wanted to catch her more than they cared about killing me, at least for the moment.

Then its carapace began to glow red and start to blink. Neither Aphid nor Handler noticed until the blinking became so rapid that it was impossible to ignore.

Just as the giant insect stopped moving to figure out what was going on, the entire back carapace exploded outward in a shower of shrapnel. I immediately ducked down and Bee, still in the air, activated her Beetle Barrier with what little Mana she had managed to recoup.

The sound of thousands of small fragments plinked and crashed across the nearby road and the shrubbery-covered dirt area next to it, sounding like a storm of gunfire.

As soon as it was over, I jumped back to my feet and pulled out my Soul Blade, which was once more a purple gummy trident. The Aphid-Dog was laying flat on its stomach, not dead but definitely incapacitated, while smoke and steam billowed from the exposed semi-transparent jellied flesh that the carapace had been protecting. The Captain was just a pair of legs clamped onto the beast’s neck, the rest of his body erased by his close proximity to the explosion.

While striding towards the downed Aphid, I lifted the Soul Blade above my head and charged it to full. Then I leapt off the ground using SPRING_HEEL and jabbed it straight into the exposed flesh.

The damage was enough to explode a hole all the way through the giant insect, killing it instantly.

As I landed atop its remains, Bee returned to my side, immediately pulling out the Litany and beginning to recoup her Mana.

“What are you doing? We’ve gotta grab the Transponder and go!” I told her.

She didn’t even have to explain herself, as three loud booms resounded across the area from the new giant Aphid-Dog pods that’d just landed.

“We can’t outrun them,” she said.

“You can’t defeat them either,” Panda added. “Not like this anyway. They have countless more soldiers to send!”

To highlight his point, the sound of thunder from above reveal many more pods heading down towards us. The smaller pods that’d already landed and the Ant soldiers they had deposited were also close to catching up to us, though they were on foot and nowhere near as fast as the Aphid-Dogs.

“Alright, different plan then,” I said.

---

WARNING!

Child Protective Services have sent a Minor Warden to pacify the Amoral Pervert guarding a Wayward Minor in distress.

All other Players should vacate the landing zone.

---

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing good,” Panda guessed.

Bee handed me back the Rebel’s Ring, as well as something else I’d completely forgotten about.

I looked at the blue orb in my hand:

“Why are you giving me this?”

“Because I know what your plan is,” she replied.

I grinned and said, “I need a Bus.”

“Ah damn it, you couple of morons,” Panda complained.

---

REQUEST RECEIVED!

Your current location has been added to the route of the nearest ‘Bus’.

Please wait patiently for it to arrive.

---

I threw the Sphere into my inventory and slid down the side of the Aphid-Dog’s body to where the wisp from the Collector Captain hovered above his half-missing corpse.

---

Leftovers of Minor Collector Captain ‘#0000000968’:

200x ‘GAME Coins’

‘I-Love-Sparkles Cap’

---

“Wait, where the hell is the Transponder?” I asked, scooping up the meagre rewards.

A sudden impact from something like a missile traveling at the speed of a lightning bolt struck the ground with enough force to make me stumble. From the massive crater forty yards away from us, stood a neon-orange pod shaped like a spike.

I heard the sound of Bee snapping shut her Litany, before she slid down to join me. She was looking at the pod as well, clearly ready to appraise whatever emerged from within.

There was no explosion or steam or anything, just a flicker of lightning before the panels of the pod fell down to reveal a single imposingly-tall figure. It looked like a mix between a Mantis and an Ant, with the head a triangular shape, four arms with folded-up scythe limbs, a relatively-small torso, four super-long legs, and a long gaster full of neon-orange fluid that almost looked like a tail. Its 16-foot-tall body was incandescent-blue, but its compound eyes glowed with the same energy as its gaster.

The Minor Warden lifted one of its scythe limbs and a bolt of orange energy shot across the ground towards us. I immediately grabbed Bee and shot us into the air with SPRING_HEEL, just as the spell hit the side of the dead Aphid-Dog and surrounded it in a lattice of energy, like a magical cage.

I let go of Bee so she could stay in the air, while I dropped back down to the ground. As soon as I landed, I sprinted straight for the Warden.

“Bee just got an emergency gift from her Benefactor,” Panda told me, somehow able to keep track of what both of us were doing. “I think it’s to refill her Mana.”

“Awesome,” I said, then dropped into a crouch to spring forward and over a wave of cutting orange energy shot my way.

The three new Aphid-Dogs in the distance were forming a perimeter around the Warden and us, but clearly giving their magic-wielding superior some space.

A lattice barrier of orange energy sprang from the Warden’s hand and right into my path, but something sharp producing a shhhh sound cut through the air ahead of me to slice it in half. I recognized it as Bee’s Killing Thread.

I flew past the severed barrier, and before the Warden could make another, I was close enough to strike her with my fist.

“Punch.spinTheWh—”

“Mute.”

---

Warning!

Your ability has been muted!

Time remaining:
59,982,763 μs

---

My fist struck the Warden with hardly any power, not even managing to budge her torso. Before I could begin to fall back down to the ground, all four of the scythe limbs slashed out with neon-orange energy suffusing them and no doubt making them deadlier.

My Reflective Shell managed to bounce back the damage from two of them, due to some insane luck, while the other struck me hard enough to burn through my Unicorn Suit and carve deep gouges in my right side.

I was sent backwards with so much force that when I hit the ground, I skipped like a stone on water.

“It’s only 56 more seconds before you can use it again!” Panda told me.

Bee yelled something and immediately went on the offensive, slashing with the Killing Thread and clearly burning through her Mana recklessly.

The Warden was taking quite a lot of superficial damage from her attacks, mostly because she seemed incapable of defending herself against them. Two smoldering gouges were also visible from where her scythes’ damage had been reflected into her body.

After a moment of indecisiveness, the Warden formed a lattice between her four limbs and sent it straight at Bee, catching her like a fly in a trap and surrounding her in a sphere that was impossible for her to escape.

I aimed a middle-finger at the bastard, while blood bubbled out from my torso. “.interrupt( )!”

The prison surrounding Bee disappeared, but in response the Warden immediately leapt forward to snatch her by her throat, before leashing a glowing rope of magical energy around the Moth Magician.

Bee was tossed back towards one of the Aphid-Dogs, whose Captain caught her with his own neon-orange whip and immediately started leaving the area.

I pushed myself up, only to be seized by a scalding energy rope that coiled itself around my neck.

“BEE!!” I screamed and pulled on the rope hard enough to make the Warden stumble forward.

“Use the Claymore!” Panda shouted into my ear.

“Crimson Claymore!”

A crackling claymore of red energy appeared in my right hand, making my entire hand tingle.

“Let’s get ‘em!!” Brock squealed.

I spun around and slashed through the leash around my neck, feeling no resistance in the blade. Then I used SPRING_HEEL to close the distance to the Warden, who raised a lattice barrier in front of herself again.

With a single swing, the barrier fell away and I landed against the Warden’s torso. With a full spin of my body, I sliced the sword through her torso and head, instantly killing her.

Then I launched off from her falling body and into the air as high as I could go, before targeting Bee in the distance and saying, “Rootkit!”

---

Rootkit initiating!

...

…Evading firewall...

...

…Generating backdoor...

...

…Playing ‘im_in.mp3’ through speakers…

...

Success!

Rootkit installed on Player Target: ‘Bee’

---

I immediately followed it up with, “Rootkit.infiltrate( )!”

My body felt like it was pulled through a very small opening, before I appeared right beside Bee, who was carried in the arms of a Captain. I immediately sliced through her neon-orange bonds, before cutting through the Captain and the head of the Aphid he was sitting atop.

---

WARNING!

Child Protective Services have sent a second Minor Warden to pacify the Amoral Pervert guarding a Wayward Minor in distress.

All other Players should vacate the landing zone.

---

“Fuck! They just keep coming!” I yelled.

Bee unfurled her wings and shook herself. “Where is the Humanbus?”

“Wait, I see people!” Panda announced, pointing at a group of Players fighting with the outer fringes of the Ants. I couldn’t tell who they wore at first, but then I saw the yellow raincoat belonging to Matthew Twine.

“Ah, fuck…”

Something akin to a meteor struck the area nearby, crushing several Ants that were charging for us, and quickly opening up to reveal another Minor Warden, along with a bulky 20-foot-tall Ant wielding an enormous shield.

Bee shared the appraisal for this new enemy:

“This will literally never end…” I groaned.

“Not until we deal with the CPS, I don’t think,” Panda commented. “Your Spin the Wheel is ready by the way.”

[NEXT STOP: MY TUMMY, YUMMY-YUMMY!]

“It’s here!” Bee yelled excitedly, as the Humanbus began mowing through the army of Ants on the opposite side from the Players following Twine.

The Queenguard raised his giant shield and it became entirely covered in the neon-orange energy. At the same time, the Warden moved straight towards Bee and I.

“You fly towards the Players!” I told Bee, while I moved to intercept the Warden, since my powerful Claymore was still active.

With a loud gong, the Queenguard hammered his shield into the ground and fired off a bright laser beam aimed in the direction of the Humanbus that was working its way through the crowd towards us. It was bright enough to make it seem like a sunlit day for a few seconds.

            Twenty of the Ants on foot were instantly vaporized, and the Humanbus was reduced to a melting snake of metal and flesh.

            “Holy shit.”

            The Queenguard lifted its shield again, this time aiming towards us.

            Bee had already created some distance, but I changed targets from the Warden to the Guard, since he was clearly the bigger threat.

            As I skidded through the legs of the lanky Warden, she tried to leash me with her energy ropes, and when that failed, she launched her lattice prison.

            It started forming around me, but I carved my way through and continued moving.

            “This sword is amazing!” I yelled, as I came near the Queenguard.

            “Only 8 seconds left on its duration!” Panda told me.

            I leapt from the dirt and did an upward slash of the blade against the giant shield, catching it at the bottom and carving a channel through it as I landed on its side. The building energy started scalding and burning my Schmonic Boots, but I ran up the side of its porous volcanic-rock-like surface, while dragging the claymore behind me.

            The rend at the bottom of the shield was starting to cause problems in integrity of its potent magic, as the untamed energy that was steadily growing was starting to arc against the ground like bolts of lightning, one of which even struck a nearby Ant and reduced him to cinders.

            As I reached the top and finished the cut through the shield, I leapt off towards his head, the claymore lifted above me and ready to strike.

            Then the red energy fizzed out and the ability ended.

            “Shi—!”

            The Queenguard seized me in his enormous left fist and started squeezing so hard that my body began to pop and crack. A second later his shield exploded and knocked him onto his back, releasing me from his hand and flinging me away. I struck the ground hard enough to break a few ribs.

            “Gah!” I groaned in pain. “That smarts!”

            “You’re at 48,77% health,” Panda told me. “You’ve got to get up though, Bee is about to be caught by the Warden.”

            I had no idea how he could tell that from here, but I pushed myself up, feeling my broken bones grind against each other in protest.

            “Rootkit.infiltrate( ),” I said, knowing that Bee was still the target for the ability.

---

ERROR!

This ability is on cooldown.

Time left:

14,166,989,612 μs

---

            “Crap. Well, guess it’s time to finally use it.”

            “Just do it, hurry!”

            “Time Save.”

---

TIME SAVE TRIGGERED!

All cooldowns have been reset.

---

            “Fuck yeah,” I said with a grin, before repeating the ability.

            “Rootkit.infiltrate( ).”

            I experienced the same feeling of being pulled through a narrow hole, before I popped up into the air next to Bee and immediately started falling.

            A cord of neon-orange energy caught me around the waist and whipped me into the ground, where I landed atop two Ant soldiers who were heading towards the new Players that’d arrived. My body was already pretty broken, and even though they cushioned my fall, it flared up all the injuries at once.

            Before I could try to move, a lattice prison surrounded me. I lifted my finger towards the towering Warden.

            “.inter—!”

            “Mute.”

---

Warning!

Your ability has been muted!

Time remaining:
59,896,821 μs

---

            “You bitch!” I yelled. Meanwhile, the lattice was shrinking around me.

            Bee, realizing that I’d come to help her, immediately spun around in the air and tried to free me with her Killing Thread.

            “No, Bee! Keep going!” Panda yelled at her.

            “Crimson Claymore!” I exclaimed, pushing against the pain and confining energy prison to lash out with a slash of the red weapon that materialized in my hand.

            As I cut through the neon-orange spell, Bee was caught in a web of energy for a second time.

            I was just about to leap from the ground to free her and kill the Warden with my Claymore, when a voice rang out from nearby. I only just barely managed to turn to see Matthew Twine in the air, holding on to Steve, when I realized what he’d said.

            “Steve Says: Everybody freeze!”

            “You, motherfucker!” I yelled, as my entire body became unable to move.

            All the Ants around me, the Aphid-Dogs, and even Matthew Twine who was holding the Birthday Brat in the air, stopped moving. Since the last two were mid-air, they quickly started falling.

            The Minor Warden and the Queenguard, as well as the nearby Collector Captains, and of course Bee, were unaffected.

            I could just barely glance to the side as the Warden whipped her scythes out to cast a spell.

            I heard Bee yell something.

            Then a scalding heat touched against the side of my neck, before continuing all the way through, clearly decapitating me.

---

GAME OVER!

You have died.

Please wait for scheduled resurrection by <????>

SKILL TRIGGER!

Rules of Anarchy(Respawn Once) respawned you back at the beginning!

---

-----------------------------

Well, fuck me sideways, that was a lot of stuff happening without pause.

If you're worried about where the story goes from here, then please trust the process, I promise the destination is worth the ride.

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -125

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

Change of schedule is gonna happen from next week on. I've mentioned how I was aiming for a 20 chapter backlog on Patreon, but, to be honest, even though I've been growing the backlog, it hasn't brought on more readers.

I think it's safe to say that Madman just isn't a huge draw for my Patreon. That's not really a huge issue for me, but it does mean that I will be returning to my normal 3 chapters per week schedule for the series, instead of 1 chapter every 2 days.

It won't feel like a huge difference to anyone already subscribed I think, but it will take some pressure off of me, since I've been busy with editing Isekai Exorcist, writing my next story, studying for my university degree, and all the other fun stuff life constantly throws at you in a normal week. That extra free day every week is really going to help me a lot.

HOWEVER, tomorrow will have Chapter -126, just so the backlog at least hits 18 chapters ahead! Also, it'll be a biggun.

-----------------------------

Chapter -125

            “The fight has reset, if I build up enough punches, I can probably delete that spaceship from the sky,” I said confidently.

            Panda shook his head. “Your Urchin Ring is still on cooldown, so you’d need several hundred punches to deal enough damage, I think. Bee is also out of Mana.”

            “And when my Ring is ready?”

            “75 punches will let you deal a million damage if you have all your buffs ready,” Bee calculated off the top of her head like a Math Savant.

            “All I need to know. We’re running until it’s back up then.”

            “You need 6 more minutes,” Panda said.

            I brought out the longboard and Bee lifted into the air using her wings, before grabbing onto my shoulders as I kicked off. Lordie was staying in his Cage, no doubt knowing that the coast wasn’t clear yet.

            A sound like thunder came from above, as black pods of sizes ranging from pick-up-truck to rich-guy-yacht started falling towards us from the enormous CPS Hive ship in the sky.

            The massive spotlight was glued to us, as I rolled the board in the direction of the Mall and its Safe Zone. I wasn’t so much worried for my own sake, since I had the Respawn Death rule still active, but Bee just barely surviving the Red Pawn trap had made me want to put us in a position where I knew she’d be safe, even if something happened to me.

            [KHAOTIC!] said the mouth at the front of my longboard, after I performed an ollie into a rail-grind along a guardrail that I skipped off to hit a nose-slide landing. I kept chaining trick-after-trick, in order to boost our speed, but as the first of the black pods hit the ground with a roaring boom, I knew I needed to go even faster.

            I unequipped my suit and gained a bit more speed, thanks to my BIRTHDAY_SUIT passive.

            “Crap, they really brought the whole army,” Panda remarked, as more of the concussive impacts of the pods sang out across the industrial area we were rapidly leaving behind.

            I looked back, just in time to see one of the massive pods strike the charred remains of the gas station, utterly obliterating it. I wondered what Breezy had to say about them being allowed to exert this much power to go after Players in the system, but there was no doubt some wonky loophole or whatever that enabled their behavior.

            An explosion of steam split the giant pod apart, revealing an enormous six-legged creature with a head bigger than my entire body and thick-looking carapace covering its back. It immediately locked in on us, but it just stared in our direction, while not moving. At least until a small figure who’d been in the same pod gave it the go-ahead.

            In a single eager leap, it covered 100 yards.

            “Holy shit,” I muttered.

            Bee shared the appraisal and I couldn’t help but frown. I really wasn’t a fan of police dogs.

I immediately got back to chaining tricks, while the floppy tail of my Lustful Loincloth waved in the air behind me. Bee also redirected the flow of her wings to push against me, adding to our speed.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Is it helping?”

            “A little, but every bit counts right now, that thing is fast as fuck.”

            “Your Ring is almost ready,” Panda announced.

            As though in response, a Benefactor Quest popped up in front of my eyes.

            “Shit.”

            “What?” Bee asked.

            “I can’t destroy the ants’ spaceship, it’d kill literally all the children in the world. Except you.”

            “That would be pretty bad,” she agreed. “Wait, do you think I’m the last Wayward Minor there is?”

            “Pretty sure that’d explain why they’re throwing their whole army at us,” Panda replied.

            Boom!

            Another massive pod landed a hundred yards ahead of us and I had to quickly pick a new route to avoid ending up in its path.

            With a loud pop from an internal steam explosion, it shot open to reveal another giant Aphid-Dog and its Handler.

            “Wait, that Ant guy is a Captain, right!?”

            “His Aphid is named ‘Whiskers’,” Bee announced.

            “I don’t think that’s important,” Panda commented.

            “Oh, right, here:”

            “Let’s kill him and his dog, get his Transponder, and then get to the Safe Zone at the Mall.”

            “Good plan, except the Mall is 8 miles away,” Panda explained.

            “It’ll be fine,” I told him, and redirected us back towards the newly arrived giant insect.

            “Your Ring is ready.”

            “Awesome,” I said and started shadowboxing as fast as I could.

            “Also, the other Aphid is about 20 seconds away from catching up to us.”

            “I have an idea for how to kill the other one,” Bee said, “But I need to borrow your Rebel’s Ring.”

            I paused my boxing for a moment to pull it off my pinkie finger and give it to her, before resuming.

            “They won’t know what hit them.”

            “Fak yiz!!”

            “Well, they’re not taking any chances,” Panda replied, looking up.

            I followed his gaze and saw three more giant Aphid-Dog pods and about two dozen smaller ones, all dropping out of the sky towards us.

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F-tier Assasin - Chapter 5

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Just realised you can't see the slashed lines through the System Contract objectives that were completed <.< I'm underlining them instead, because apparently Patreon doesn't have that kind of text formatting (yay...)

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Chapter 5

Ashlan’s wooden sandals produced a faint echoing clop with each step he took down the hidden staircase. The only basements he’d ever been down before were the ones belonging to seedy establishments in Northside, such as where many of the Unassignable hung out, since they were not tolerated elsewhere.

The smell of stagnant air and dust flooded his nose, and there was an abnormal gloom that just barely allowed him the ability to see his surroundings.

After walking down for about a minute, he reached a corridor where a few candles were melted together within little alcoves and cast their warm glow onto the stones. At the end of the hallway was a wall with a circle in the middle and something engraved into it, though he couldn’t see what it was.

With the first step forward, he left the comfort of the gloom and felt his pulse quicken. Ashlan had no reference with which to compare this place, and that made him uneasy.

As always, the fear of the unknown is worse…

Though he wanted to return to the shadows, he moved towards the wall at the end of the corridor. His sandals echoed loudly and each sound sent a spike of dread through him, as though he was treading upon hallowed ground and any sound he made would wake the dead. After sneaking all the way here unnoticed, it seemed counterintuitive to suddenly not worry about making noise.

A faint scent of some herby spice distracted him from his thoughts and he noticed it grew stronger the closer he came to the dead-end.

Then he saw what was engraved within the circle in its centre: a handprint.

It looked as though someone had pushed their hand into clay, with even the finger prints legible when he leaned in close. It was hard to say whether the handprint belonged to a man or a woman, for it was neither large nor small, but somehow perfectly in-between.

There’s a lot of hand symbolism going on here…

This wall must be another hidden entrance, he realised.

Just to be sure, he scanned the corridor for any possible switches or tricks, but aside from the alcoves full of melted wax and candles, there was nothing eye-catching.

Ashlan took a deep breath, before placing his right hand onto the engraving in the wall. His fingers somehow fit perfectly within its embrace.

[You are about to enter the Assassins’ Guild]

[Within every Guild, secret and not, are rules its members must follow]

< < Assassins’ Guild Rules > >

< < Show respect to your seniors in the Guild, especially its Leader > >

< < Do not interfere with another member’s Contracts > >

< < Do not steal from another member > >

< < Do not harm or kill another member > >

< < Never disclose the location of the Guild > >

< < Never disclose the knowledge pertaining to the Guild’s activities > >

[Failure to obey these rules will result in expulsion from the Guild]

[Do you swear to uphold the rules of the Assassin’s Guild?]

As far as he knew, these were fairly regular terms for a Guild, with the exception of not being allowed to disclose its location. Most Guilds operated on a Rank- and age-based hierarchy, meaning that the oldest person with the highest Tier was usually awarded the role of Leader.

From the sounds of it, this Guild only observes Age in terms of its hierarchy. How refreshing.

Although, if I end up becoming the oldest person in it, I would be given the mantle. I doubt anyone would respect me as a Leader.

“I swear,” he finally said.

Something like a pulse flowed through his body and out his arm. The handprint reacted to it and the entire wall split down the middle along an invisible seam. A gasp of air from the other side of the wall wafted towards him, bringing several scents along with it. It smelled of food and pastries, the likes of which he could normally only dream of.

The ground rumbled and shook as the two pieces of the wall somehow retracted into the walls and allowed him passage. Warm light cascaded over him and the stone corridor, making him instinctively look down. On the other side of the hidden doorway was a dark wooden floor.

It looks expensive, he thought, before noticing the soft slippers of a person who was waiting on him.

Ashlan looked up and met the eyes of an old lady with grey hair braided and slung over her shoulder. She was shorter than him by a bit and her figure was pudgy. Her eyes were golden-brown and radiated kindness. She wore brown robes that, despite the modest dye, were deceptively-expensive. Most people who didn’t have a Seamster for a parent would likely not have noticed. She also wore a faint-smelling perfume with a complex and pleasant aroma.

She’s a High-Ranker for sure, but I don’t think she’s an Assassin? She looks too old for it, unless her whole style is grandmother-who-poisons-you-with-pie.

“Welcome Ashlan Grey,” said the woman in a soft-spoken voice.

He considered her clothes again.

She is either a Servant or a Maid, probably the latter. Definitely B-tier or higher, given how she carries herself and how expensive her clothes are, not to mention the perfume and how well-maintained her hair looks, along with her pale-tan skin.

Ashlan nodded, almost getting too lost in his own thoughts to respond. “Thank you.”

“I am Estrid Kjeldal, the caretaker of the Assassin’s Guild.”

There’s no Profession called ‘Caretaker’ as far as I know. She must be a Maid, since they are capable of taking care of an entire mansion by themselves, if their Tier is high enough. Not to mention, they can specialise in cooking…

“Are you the one who made food?” he asked, sniffing the air again. He could smell roasted meat.

Estrid blinked in surprise, then laughed a little. “I am. Would you like some? Ah, but first, come in and meet the others. They have been waiting for you.”

He nodded again, not sure how else to respond in this situation. He’d never done any formal introductions before, usually finding it easier to get to know people ‘in the wild’ so-to-speak.

Ashlan stepped over the invisible threshold where the stone corridor became a cocoa-dark wooden floor. Not a second later, the impossible door rumbled and closed itself behind him, revealing another handprint on this side.

< < Contract Update > >

< < Contract — Assassin Intro (System) > >

< < Locate the entrance to the Assassins’ Guild > >

< < Escape the Trackers on your trail > >

< < Introduce yourself to the Guild > >

I guess this marks the definitive end of the hunt.

Just the introductions left and then I get my payday!

Ashlan looked around at the small foyer he was now standing in. A few bags and coats were stowed here, as well as boots and such. All of it was the kind of stuff Ashlan would be afraid to leave unattended, but it seemed that having one of the Guild rules being ‘no stealing’ meant such a fear would be unwarranted here.

Taking off his homemade sandals, he placed them next to a woman’s pristine leather boots. Whoever had crafted them was an expert at their Profession and likely B-tier if not A.

If my Dad saw those, he’d be losing his mind right about now.

“Would you like some slippers?” Estrid asked him.

“Sure.”

She gestured to a shelf at knee-height behind him and he looked inside it, finding just a single pair within.

The grey woollen slippers matched his feet perfectly. They were incredibly soft and comfortable.

How the hell did she know the size of my feet?

Before he could ask, she came over and rubbed his face with a handkerchief aggressively.

“There, now you’re smudge-free,” she remarked, self-satisfied.

“Thanks. Pretty sure I’d need a bath if you want me to be presentable though.”

She frowned a little. “Normally, that could be arranged, but it is already so late. I do not think you can avoid meeting them now.”

I was joking… Wait, do they actually have a bath here??

Ashlan nodded gravely. “I suppose I shouldn’t waste any more of their time.”

“Do not look so serious. It is always a joyous occasion when a new member joins us.”

Somehow that sounds like a lie.

“Come with me,” she beckoned with a gesture.

Maybe she’s A-tier? he considered, as he felt how her words calmed him down, despite his apprehensions.

He followed her out of the foyer and into a long hallway. Immediately on the right was a washroom. On the left was another handprint embedded in the wall.

Noticing how he slowed down, Estrid explained, “There are multiple entrances to the Guild. You will learn about the other ones later.”

He nodded and continued with her. The hallway curved further down and, from the way that the smell of food was intensifying, he knew they’d get to a kitchen soon.

“Have you been with the Guild for long?” he asked.

“This year will be my fortieth. I have been here longer than the current Guild Leader.”

She must be quite influential then, I’m guessing. Not to mention, a font of wisdom.

People tended to overlook Maids and Servants, but you didn’t hold a job like that long-term without knowing how to observe, anticipate, and manipulate.

I have to wonder just how bad the System needs Assassins though, if it assigned a Maid and a Chaplain to take care of them. Of us…

They rounded the bend in the hallway and Ashlan saw that it opened up into a large lounge room down at the end. There was a door coming up on the right which, from the sounds of bubbling within, along with the scents, had to be the kitchen.

“Has anyone ever failed the Intro Contract?” he asked, already spotting one of his new ‘comrades’ watching from up ahead.

“The System always makes each Intro relative to the strength of the new Assassin, so there have been several who failed it over the years. Usually, if they work hard and reach Apprentice Proficiency within a year, they can retake the Intro Contract and be allowed membership.”

So the System lied to me about not being allowed to get into the Guild if I failed…

Reaching Apprentice Proficiency within one year is no walk in the park though.

The first Proficiency Rank was Novice, and, after ranking up five times, it rolled over into Initiate. Ranking up five more times led to Apprentice. Ashlan’s parents were both at Journeyman Rank, which was the one above Apprentice, and they’d been doing Private Contracts non-stop since they got their Assignments.

Private Contracts were better for the monetary reward, but they rarely granted a lot of Proficiency Points. System Contracts were usually the opposite, although his current Contract only gave one Point but five-hundred Silvers, so it was probably an outlier.

Estrid came to a halt and Ashlan snapped out of his thoughts, realising there were a bunch of people looking at him.

“This is the newest member of the Guild: Ashlan Grey,” the Maid announced.

“Thought I heard the door open,” said a handsome and muscular man with obsidian-black skin, who wore a fancy dark-blue shirt and black dress pants. His black hair was cut short like he had a warrior-type Assignment.

He was the tallest one in attendance, but similar in height to the Chaplain, so about half a head above Ashlan. The man radiated authority and the way his green eyes looked at him was quite unnerving.

“I am Vagan Gou, the Leader of this Guild,” he introduced himself.

Ashlan nodded.

Given that Vagan’s lineage clearly hailed from Gravegarden in the east, it was hard to gauge his dark skin to determine his affluence. But, he carried himself in the proud way that screamed Aristocrat and his clothes were clearly expensive. He didn’t flaunt his wealth with jewellery though. That he was the Leader told Ashlan nothing other than the fact that he was the oldest of the Assassins.

He doesn’t look very old, which is worrying.

He does look confident though, so he’s probably no lower than B-tier.

“I’m Maggie Margot,” said a woman leaning in a chair that she was balancing on its back legs. She held a half-full glass of wine in her right hand.

Ashlan immediately pegged her as the owner of the pristine leather boots. Her red hair was long and curly, her eyes blue-green, and her tan even. He’d seen her kind many times before and immediately knew she had rich parents. The strong perfume wafting off of her, along with the makeup around her eyes, mouth, and cheeks, added even more credence to that theory. She also wore quite a lot of jewellery. Her clothes consisted of a crisp white shirt with a dark leather vest over it, and tight leather pants.

Most obvious C-tier I’ve ever seen, he muttered internally.

Given that C-tiers were right in the middle, they were always the ones most prone to showing off, especially if they had rich parents. Perhaps it was an attempt to convince everyone else that they weren’t the baseline of the power hierarchy, but they somehow always had the same idea of what power looked like. The giveaway was that none of them ever expressed the sort of self-assurance that B, A, and S-tiers always had.

Though who am I to talk? I’m probably radiating ‘I don’t belong here’ so hard that it might as well be written on my forehead.

Though it was brief, Ashlan caught the glare she cast his way. It was clear that she didn’t respect him.

“Ani,” urged Estrid. “You’re next.”

His eyes fell on the next person and his heart skipped a beat. The girl had black silky hair that reached just above her shoulders, porcelain-white skin showcasing a Witchfell heritage, red irises, and blood-red lips. She wore a simple black dress of cambric with small red ribbons here-and-there and which stopped just above her ankles. Given her diminutive stature and the way she hardly moved, she was evocative of one of the expensive dolls that the rich families’ daughters often played with.

Ashlan had never before seen someone who looked so perfect.

“My name is Anisette,” she said.

The tone of her voice made an icy-cold fear run down his back. It was hard for him to pin down exactly why, but a part of his brain just immediately flagged her as a threat.

She’s definitely bad news. Out of everyone here, she’s by far the scariest!

B- or A-tier, for sure.

The last person cleared his throat, making Ashlan realise he’d been staring at Anisette without saying anything. He pivoted and was met with an angry-looking guy, who was probably only a few years older than him. He had long messy brown hair and eyes, an uneven tan, and was slightly taller than Ashlan. He wore a simple linen shirt with half-sleeves, and simple pants that were a bit too large, given that a black belt was firmly secured around his waist to keep them from slipping off.

D-tier, he immediately guessed. Though he looks like someone who grew up in Northside.

Attitude is a bit rough though, so I doubt we’d ever have been friends.

“Bjorn is my name.”

Ashlan nodded, before running his eyes back over the four of them.

“Is this everyone?” he accidentally blurted out.

Where’s the tall scarecrow? he also wanted to ask.

“There is also Thea,” Estrid said. “The Guild’s Smith. She’s currently in her workshop.”

A Guild-exclusive Smith too??

“We have a fifth member as well,” Vagan started to explain, before Bjorn interrupted him.

“Are we done now? Can I go? We’ve waited around for this guy for hours!”

“Bjorn…” Vagan chastised.

“He’s just a worthless F-tier! What point is there in welcoming him if he can’t even contribute to the Guild!?”

“Ashlan passed his Intro, so he deserves to be here.”

“System probably gave him something super easy! He doesn’t belong here!”

“Bjorn!” Vagan said, stronger this time.

The guy stopped, but then Maggie continued, “He’s right, Vagan.”

“I would also like to leave,” Anisette added.

It was clear the Leader didn’t have a lot of control over the Guild.

Ashlan gritted his teeth, but didn’t say anything back.

This is more or less what I expected after all…

A hand with long pale fingers landed on Ashlan’s head.

Slowly, he turned to look up at the scarecrow. The man had just arrived out of nowhere. His greasy grey hair hung down around his tired-looking face and his grey eyes were neither comforting nor hostile. He wore tattered dark-grey rags for clothes, but strangely emanated no smell or scent.

“Ashlan deserves his respect,” the scarecrow said. His voice was like a whisper, but Ashlan didn’t need to strain to hear it.

Everyone, even the terrifying Anisette, stopped to look at the man. He was easily over two metres tall, dwarfing them all.

“There you are,” Vagan said, recognising the man.

“I followed Ashlan as he undertook the Intro Contract. What he lacks in power, he makes up for in spirit and ingenuity. He will be a powerful asset to the Guild.”

Ashlan blinked at the revelation. The scarecrow had been watching him all this time.

I thought I was the one following him, not the other way around.

The fact that no one here even noticed him enter means that he purposefully only revealed himself to me.

He has to be S-tier, there’s no other explanation!

“But he’s an F-tier,” Bjorn countered, his voice seeming almost pleading.

“If Harmon says he has worth, then it is the truth,” Anisette replied. “At least he conquered the Intro on his first try, unlike you.”

Bjorn’s face lit up red in embarrassment and he quickly stormed off.

“Does no one remember the rules?” Vagan asked with an exhausted expression on his face.

“Estrid, be a dear and refill my glass,” Maggie said, holding her wine glass upside-down to indicate that it was empty.

Though serving such a person had to be frustrating, the Maid retrieved an opened bottle of wine and brought it to the woman, all while looking perfectly content.

Harmon’s hand left Ashlan’s head and he went past the chairs and tables placed in the large oval room, before stopping next to a reflective blackboard with text on it. Ashlan had heard about such an Artefact before, but it was his first time seeing one in person.

“Is that a Contract Slate?” he asked.

“We have the best toys here,” Anisette answered with a small grin that was somehow incredibly terrifying. She went over to where the scarecrow stood and started talking to him.

Estrid returned to Ashlan’s side.

“With introductions out of the way, would you like some food?”

He nodded, though kind of felt as if he was stuck in a fever dream. “That would be great. I still have to get back home, but I’d rather not do it on an empty stomach.”

“Do not worry yourself about that, we have sleeping chambers here that you can use.”

While sitting in the Guild lounge and enjoying the best meal he’d ever had, Ashlan was listening to the others talk about how much trouble they’d had getting here through the ‘normal’ entrance. From what was left unsaid, it was clear they all used different entrances that were, somehow, more accessible and didn’t require a lot of stealth.

            It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who struggled with getting through Irongate at least.

            Vagan turned his attention to Ashlan, while he was in the middle of loudly slurping up the leftovers of his chicken-cabbage soup. His hands were greasy from the lamb chop and honeyed pork belly he’d been served prior.

            “I am sorry about earlier,” said the Leader, sounding genuinely sincere.

            Ashlan put down the bowl and Estrid was there immediately to wipe down his hands and mouth in four quick movements, as though she was a cleanliness Wizard.

            “I already expected a welcome like that,” he replied, not too bothered. Growing up in Northside and befriending the Unassignable had taught him not to rise to those kinds of insults.

            “Bjorn is just upset that an F-tier beat the Intro first try when he didn’t,” Maggie said.

            She definitely likes to badmouth people. I can feel it.

            “I got lucky,” Ashlan replied. “The System sent two Trackers after me, one of which was a B-tier.”

            “Damn,” Vagan muttered.

            “I just had to kill a guy,” Maggie replied with a shrug. “Finding the Guild entrance was a pain in the ass though.”

            “I had to retrieve an Unsanctioned Artefact,” Vagan said.

            “Me too,” Anisette replied from where she stood near the scarecrow.

            Vagan frowned. “I did it without killing anyone though.”

            “I didn’t,” she replied with a tiny smile. “The System wasn’t happy about that.”

            Why does she sound triumphant? She is absolutely not someone I want to get on the bad side of, Guild Rules or not.

            Maggie looked to Harmon. “Will you ever tell us what your Intro was?”

            “No.”

            Ashlan had confirmed that his guesses about everyone’s Rank was pretty much spot on and that Harmon was indeed an S-tier, although Anisette was just a B-tier, which was a little comforting.

            The scarecrow had been standing by the Contract Slate the entire time, scrolling through it and, seemingly, accepting dozens of Private Contracts all at once.

            “He’s loading up for tomorrow,” Maggie said, sounding proud on his behalf.

            I bet she tells all her friends that she knows an S-tier.

            Tomorrow was System Day, so there’d be no new System Contracts and, usually, no Private ones either. Most people honoured this by taking a day of rest, but poor people didn’t have the comfort of a day off and could often be found working regardless of what others thought. It was of course also overruled in times of emergency, such as during wars and invasions.

            Estrid refilled Maggie’s glass for a fourth time, as she said, “Bjorn’s dad is Thorvald Carpenter, so he really got screwed by becoming an Assassin. If he’d gotten almost any other Assignment, he’d have inherited a fortune, instead he was cut off entirely. Disowned.”

            Ashlan knew the Carpenter family well. After all, there were no other people in Eventide who deliberately chose that surname. Normally, you’d never want the Profession, but Thorvald was a genius. He’d taken his B-tier Carpenter profession and built one of the biggest businesses in the city. Hell, a third of Northside’s population seemed to be part of his little empire somehow.

            Even my parents…

            “Again, I would like to apologise for his behaviour,” Vagan said.

            “Seriously, it’s okay,” he replied, while looking at Maggie emptying her glass.

            How is she not passed out drunk already? Does she have a Skill to avoid inebriation?

            “I still have a lot to learn as a Leader,” Vagan went on to say. “I only just recently received the role after all.”

            Ashlan blinked, realising what that meant.

            “The Assassin Assignment is passed on?”

            Maggie, Estrid, and Vagan all seemed surprised. Even Anisette.

            Harmon chuckled darkly. “I told you he was ingenious.”

            “You are certainly quick on the uptake,” Vagan remarked, impressed. “But you’re right. The limit is six in Eventide.”

            “It is three in Witchfell,” Harmon added. “I was sent here to create an opening.”

            “He must really like you,” Maggie commented, looking at Ashlan. “We normally never see him around here and he’s always so quiet when we do.”

            Why does it seem like she is implying that it’s like a child’s fascination with a cute animal?

            “Harmon always shows up when a new Member arrives,” Estrid interjected.

            Anisette cast him a long glance as well, which was worrying.

            Please don’t take an interest in me, just because you like the scarecrow…

            “Before your Assignment,” Vagan continued, choking up a little, “We had a Leader named Victoria Rose. She was an A-tier and a damn fine Assassin.”

            Glad that Vagan doesn’t seem like a bad guy.

            “That she was,” Estrid added solemnly.

            The atmosphere became a bit awkward and Ashlan hurried to finish his soup.

            Although they probably don’t mean it, they’re kind of implying I’m here to replace her… That’s a lot to live up to, guys…

            “There was one more member, right? The Smith.”

            The Maid looked at him. “Are you sure you would like to meet her now? You seem tired.”

            I am tired, but I also want my money.

            “It’ll just be quick,” he said, knowing it was bad manners to lie to the nice old lady who’d just fed him the most delicious meal imaginable.

After leaving the lounge, he followed behind Estrid with trudging steps. Despite her age, she had seemingly-infinite energy. After serving Vagan, Anisette, Maggie, and Bjorn since noon no doubt and cooking food for them, cleaning, and staying up late for Ashlan’s arrival, only to then continue to serve them, she was somehow no worse for wear.

Meanwhile, he was really feeling the stress and excitement of the day trying to tear him off his feet like a sudden riptide. He had yet to even really stop to think about how his new Assignment made him feel.

Will I really be okay as an Assassin?

I’ve never even killed a rat before, let alone a person, and rats are more common in Northside than dogs and cats combined!

“It will be alright,” Estrid told him.

“Are you reading my thoughts?”

“I have been here long enough to know what is going through your head. You are feeling trepidation about the future and contemplating what killing someone will feel like. Maybe you’re even worried how it will change you as a person.”

“I’m glad these are normal thoughts at least.”

“Only Anisette seemed to take on this Profession with ease,” she said in a hushed voice. “That girl worries me.”

“Glad I’m not the only one,” he confided.

Then a sudden fear hit him.

“She doesn’t have like super-hearing, right?”

Estrid chuckled. “She does not.”

“Harmon too refrains from indulging in this role, that is why he is reluctant to share his past and any of his Contracts.”

“He seemed to be accepting a whole heap of them though,” Ashlan said, surprised that he had not noticed this about the man.

“Ah, but he is also a stubborn boy. He has got it in his head that he must see what happens when he reaches the peak of his Proficiency.”

So that’s why he was taking so many Private Contracts. The System only gives one at a time, so if you’re powerful enough you could take a whole bunch of Privates to earn points quicker. Still, that’s wild.

Reaching Master Proficiency is the work of a life-time for even the most dedicated S-tiers. Going beyond that is basically unheard of outside of myths!

“Here we are,” Estrid said.

In his exhausted state, Ashlan hadn’t paid much attention to his surroundings nor exactly what route they took through the tunnels to get here, but they had indeed arrived. Before them was a dark metal-reinforced wooden door, from behind which came the sounds of hammer and anvil.

“I will fetch her for you, as it’s awfully hot within her workshop.”

Estrid pulled open the heavy door with a well-balanced stance, releasing a wave of hot air that hit Ashlan like the first wind of Harvest season. She left it open after going inside and he took a few steps back to escape the heat.

After a few seconds, the sounds of a hammer loudly striking metal ceased, and he could hear boots skipping his way, while Estrid in her slippers was utterly silent by comparison.

Then a red-brown bundle of hair with a small face attached popped into view, before the rest of her body followed. She was casting him a dimpled smile before even getting to know him. Her amber eyes and red-tan skin seemed imbued with the heat of her forge. She was almost as tall as him, but he still had some growing to do.

Unless she’s also sixteen? She looks quite young, but it’s hard to tell, the forge-tan is throwing me off.

Ashlan walked forward to greet her and she reached out a hand covered with an overlarge leather glove that’d seen enough abuse to bring his Dad to tears. Before he could shake it, she pulled off the glove and revealed tiny hands that definitely did not fit well inside it.

“Thea Lavender, C-tier Smith!” she said eagerly and shook his hand with a lot of power, hinting that she had some kind of strength-boosting Skill.

“Ashlan Grey,” he replied, managing to retract his hand before she broke any of the fingers.

“I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, Ash!”

“You think so?” he asked, surprised.

“Harmon told me a bunch of ideas for things that could suit you well, I’ve been working on one of them the last two hours.”

This Harmon guy is a real enigma.

I wonder why he’s been helping me this whole time?

“What are you making?”

“It’s a secret!”

Estrid clapped her hands once. “Alright, Ashlan needs to sleep, poor boy is wobbling on his feet.”

Thea chuckled in a melodic way, before hopping back into her workshop and slamming the door. No sooner had it closed than the sounds of her work continued.

“Harmon is correct. Thea’s tools are a great way to bolster your arsenal, which I imagine must be a pressing concern.”

She put a hand on his back and spun him around, before ushering him down the tunnel and towards the sleeping quarters.

< < Contract Complete > >

< < Contract — Assassin Intro (System) > >

< < Locate the entrance to the Assassins’ Guild > >

< < Escape the Trackers on your trail > >

< < Introduce yourself to the Guild > >

< < Reward > >

< < 500 Silver Coins & 1 Proficiency Point > >

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MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -124

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Bit worried about the Nickelodeon joke, not sure if it's too spicy xD

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Chapter -124

The Core arrived in my hands and looked like a red Leftovers Wisp, but smaller. Despite being made from incorporeal matter, I was able to hold it in my hands.

Bee and I had split the 2000 Coins, and along with the 50 from the Double Trouble achievement, I was now sitting at 2558.01 Coins in total.

“I want to go back to Shellby and buy some more stuff,” I commented.

“Was just thinking the same thing,” Bee replied. “That Tincture really came in handy.”

“I should’ve bought one too.”

“Really hope you two get how lucky you were!” Panda lectured. “You don’t just survive a trap laid by the Flayed Queen. She’s known for how deadly her retribution is!”

“It’s good to know that Spin the Wheel can be quite powerful when paired with a Lucky Dice,” I mused.

“You’re not listening to me!” he exclaimed.

“I hear you just fine.”

“You only have one more of those left anyway, so you shouldn’t bank on it saving the day again.”

“There must be a reliable way to get more.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” he replied. “But maybe you get them from things involving chance? You got your first from beating Bee and Lordie in rock-paper-scissors after all.”

“I got the second one from destroying the Broadcast HQ though.”

“Let’s destroy the rest and get you more,” Bee said excitedly.

“Might as well,” I replied.

Panda sighed loudly.

I lifted up the Core in my hands and inspected it:

“What do the other items do?”

“Have a look,” Bee said, depositing the Halo, Tongue, and Mask on the pavement between us.

“I think you should use the Tongue, it might give you something good.”

“Obviously you should throw away the Mask,” Panda advised. “Red Pawn is just another word for ‘Slave to the Flayed Queen’.”

“The achievement said the Flayed Queen can’t hurt us anymore, so I say we keep it and sell it.”

“What about the Halo?” Bee asked.

“It fits with your wand, so I say you keep it too.”

“What about you? You did all the work, but you’re only gonna take the Core?”

“Think about it, the Red Pawn was level 99, so it’s got to give me something ultra-strong, right?”

She nodded, then put the Halo of Thorns atop her head, where it immediately resized itself and began to hover, spinning around very slowly. Then she took the flat of her hand and smacked the absolute shit out of the Bodysnatcher’s Tongue.

Bee grunted. “It was a fetish thing, apparently. They said they are going to distribute the footage to all the nine Demonic Realms.”

“Isn’t it illegal to do that with a minor?” I asked.

Panda shook his head. “It’s non-graphic, so it’s more-or-less just like those old Nickelodeon shows.”

“Ah, I see. Nonetheless icky though.”

“I’m not arguing with you there,” he replied.

“Still, that reference came to you a bit too easily,” I remarked with a suspicious glare.

“I don’t like what you’re implying,” Panda grumbled, crossing his arms.

“I’m just saying, maybe you really liked those weird slime shows.”

“What are you talking about?” Bee asked.

“You’re too young to know,” we replied simultaneously.

“It’s a blessing, truly,” Panda added.

“You said it.”

I lifted the Core up to my mouth before throwing it in. It immediately flew down into my lungs like an inhale of fresh air, which was a surprisingly-nice feeling.

I scratched my head. The Contagion ability seemed fun and could potentially work great if I fused it with something else, but if I was intentionally spreading insanity around, didn’t that make me the bad guy?

“You should take the armor,” Panda advised.

I nodded and picked the sword.

“You—!”

“I don’t need defense, Panda. And look at it this way, if I’d had that sword, I wouldn’t have had to burn a Lucky Dice to kill the Pawn, right?”

“Not sure it would’ve worked on him,” he muttered.

“Anything good on your end?” I asked Bee.

“Should I pick defense or attack?”

I considered it for a moment, before saying, “Definitely defense. You’ve got a lot of power already and with every level your power grows, but the Pawn made it obvious that you need more protection.”

“Then I’m picking this,” she said and shared a tooltip:

“Holy shit, a unique passive!?”

“I’m a bit worried about my insides becoming metal and the whole frost thing.”

“It’s a good choice though.”

“I concur,” Panda added.

“Okay!”

After picking it, nothing changed about her at all.

“Do you feel any differently?”

“No…”

“Why do you sound disappointed about that?”

“I don’t know. I expected there to at least be a little bit of fanfare or something.”

“You could try cutting off a pinkie-finger and seeing what it looks like,” Panda suggested darkly.

Bee and I both went silent, before turning to slowly look at him.

“…What?”

“That was fucked up,” I commented.

“I thought you were meant to be the voice of reason,” Bee said disappointedly.

Panda was holding his head in his squishy fingerless arms. “Why did I just suggest that?? What’s happened to me!?”

Suddenly, a wash of light filled the entire area, as though a massive spotlight had just been switched on. It easily covered an area that was half a mile across, centered on us. I looked up and saw an enormous black shape in the night sky, which blotted out the Messimer’s eyeball moon.

“What the—”

Giant overlapping triangles appeared on the ground, before a warning went out to the area:

---

WARNING!

Child Protective Services have come to collect a Wayward Minor in distress.

The Amoral Pervert known as ‘Gambit’ has kidnapped her and will face public execution.

All other Players should vacate the landing zone.

---

“Uh oh.”

-----------------------------

Out of the frying pan and into the fire, am i right?

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -123

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

This chapter is over 3k words, so it took a while to write and edit, but I hope it was worth the wait.

I'm currently in the middle of a school project and have an influenza, so I'm working a bit slower than usual. Sorry about that.

-----------------------------

Chapter -123

I stopped in front of the conflagration, waiting for the Mayor to come out, while blowing air into Brock. Lordie took this as his cue to disappear into the Transport Cage.

            “A big one’s coming, Gamby!!”

            “Stop making it weird,” I grunted.

            When the fingers of the balloon gauntlet were fully bloated, I lowered the purple gummy trident slightly, preparing to ram it straight into Noah’s fucked-up monstrous face.

            A black silhouette appeared in the fire, materializing into a naked Ken-doll-looking man. All his clothes and body hair were burnt off as he stepped out of the flames. His skin was unscathed and his face was back to normal, although his eyes were pitch-black, even the sclera.

            “Hi there, let’s go take down some Dungeons together!” he said in a confident deep voice. He looked like a total musclehead, nothing at all like the pathetic man I’d stabbed in his expensive mansion.

            Bee shared the appraisal of him.

            I spat on the ground. “Natural-born leader, my ass-crack!”

            “Is this supposed to be what a disguised appraisal looks like?” Panda wondered. “It’s pretty obvious if they keep repeating the word ‘human’ in the least natural way possible…”

            “We know you’re not human ‘Noah’!” I told the Skinstealer, before pulling out the Conspiracy Whistle and blowing into it.

---

Player ‘Gambit’ has activated a Conspiracy Whistle.

You have received +10% Insanity!

---

            “Stop that,” Noah said, annoyed.

            “Make me, bitch,” I taunted, blowing it again.

---

You have received +10% Insanity!

---

            “This won’t affect me, right?” Bee asked.

            “Stop it!” Noah repeated.

---

You have received +10% Insanity!

---

            “I will kill you, you little shit!”

            “I already called dips on killing you first!” I yelled back, lowering the whistle. “Also, why isn’t this working? He’s still clearly in his human disguise!”

            Noah roared and charged at me.

            “Fuck it,” I muttered, clenching my fist to trigger the Sea Urchin Ring and lowering myself down into a crouch before springing forward, trident-first.

            The combination of the fully-charged Soul Blade, my pumped-up gauntlet, the ring, and my Spring Heel came together to create a blinding spear of light that overpowered the bloom of the gasoline fire.

            When it struck, the impact was enough to create a powerful wind that extinguished the gas station fire and blew away the ashy corpses of Noah’s former crew. The shockwave also shattered all the windows in a cone outwards from me and pushed away the nearby trucks. The Skinstealer was sent flying into the side of the building hard enough to go straight through the metal and concrete wall.

            “Did that kill him?” Bee asked. “That looked like a lot of damage.”

            “It wasn’t as strong as my last Pow Punch,” I muttered, disappointed.

            “It was a lot of damage,” Panda confirmed.

            “The fact that the pavement is still here says otherwise,” I complained.

            The crunch and crumble of broken concrete came from the gas station. I began striding towards it, but only made it a few steps before Noah crawled out of the opening in the wall that his body had created.

            “That really hurt.”

            The voice was completely different from the one he’d used moments before. It was warbly and extremely high-pitched, like a dolphin’s shriek. The Skinstealer wasn’t even pretending to be human anymore.

            “You broke my vessel. That’s not very nice.”

            As Not-Noah raised himself to his full height, I noticed how his skin had massive tears in it, as though it was a piece of fabric that’d been worn thin. Underneath the torn skin was a roiling black mass.

            “I will have to take yours instead. That’s only fair, right?”

            Noah’s skill started to tear itself open around his head, as two clawed arms pushed their way out from within.

            “Beetle Brawler Bomber!” Bee exclaimed, before following it up with “Bomb!” twice, sending off the spectral fists to strike against the Skinstealer before it could fully shed its old skin.

            “Stop that! Can’t you let me finish!?” the monster yelled in outrage, its old skin now full of holes.

            “It’s somehow worse that it’s talking,” Panda commented.

            Following Bee’s example, I started warming up for Pow Punch by shadowboxing the air in front of me as fast as I could. I wouldn’t have my ring available for this, but I figured that I could still deal enough damage to kill this thing if I just racked up enough punches.

            The last tatters of Noah’s youthful skin plopped to the ground next to the burnt-out gas pumps, as the Skinstealer’s true visage became visible.

            It unfurled its droopy body, reaching a height of nine or ten feet, though it was mostly thanks to its long neck. There was no head attached at the top, just three mouths with pale-grey tongues flopping out. It had two T-Rex like arms with three claws each and three feet that looked like they were stolen from an elephant. Its entire body was charcoal black, but its skin was sagging everywhere, kind of like a kid wearing an XXL sweater and pushing up the sleeves just so he could use his hands.

            “Beetle-Moth Sting!” Bee exclaimed, shooting a jet of acid at the boss.

            “Ouch! Stop that!”

            She backpedaled quickly and not a second too late, as one of the short arms snapped forward like a whip, producing a loud crack and tearing a gouge in the ground.

            I launched myself forward, while Bee fired off her Sting two more times, trying to rack up both the venom and the Fiendblood Sickness inherent in her wand.

            “Blam!!” Brock squealed, as I sunk my right fist into the creature’s saggy knee.

            One of its tongues flicked towards me and I dodgerolled through its entire body.

            Just then, Bee shared the appraisal:

            Panda read the text aloud for me, while I nudged the box into the corner of my vision. The more he read, the less I wanted to be close to the creature.

            “Stop moving!” yelled the Bodysnatcher.

            “Fuck no!” I replied, ducking under an awkward kick from one of its elephant feet, while taking every opportunity to punch it that I could.

            “You’re close to sixty punches, Gambit,” Panda told me.

            “Hey, not fair!” exclaimed the Monstrosity, before doing something I had never expected.

            As I side-stepped a double swipe at my head from its elastic arms, one of them dug its claws into Panda, pulling him off of my shoulder.

            “Mine now!” it said gleefully, while beginning to aggressively lick the plushie with all three of its tongues.

            “Argh! Gross! Stop that! I’ll file a complaint with HR!”

            “You taste good!”

            “Hold on!” I told Panda, before dodgerolling backwards and settling down into a crouch.

            Brock was only about thirty percent filled with air, but I was acting out of desperation.

            I shot myself forward and up at the bosses long headless neck, while swinging my gauntlet forward.

            “Here it comes!” Brock squealed.

            “Pow!” I yelled as I struck.

---

ACTIVATING SCRIPT: Math.pow(Punch)!

Number of Punches recorded in fight: 61

Calculating 61 to the power of Punch

…

Calculations complete!

---

            It felt like my arm turned into a cannon, as heat and energy fired out from the tip of my balloon gauntlet, tearing a big hole into the Bodysnatcher’s neck and deleting two of the three mouths from existence.

            In response to the damage, the Monstrosity yowled in pain and outrage, dropping Panda to the ground.

            No sooner had he landed on the pavement than Bee swooped by to pick him up, fluttering her wings to quickly spin around the boss, while clutching Panda to her chest tightly. The blue ethereal fists manifested in the air around her and she began pummeling the undulating Bodysnatcher with them, giving him not even a second of reprieve.

            I joined in as well, using minimally-charged crouches to give each of my punches double damage, while absolutely going to town.

            The Monstrosity’s voice changed and warped, until becoming nothing but a single high-pitched whine.

            Then suddenly it went silent, reduced to nothing but black droopy mush splattered on the ground between us.

            Bee lowered herself down to the ground as a red wisp materialized above the Bodysnatcher’s corpse.

            “That took all my Mana,” she said with a satisfied sigh.

            “You really gave it to him,” I praised her, surprised by her show of fury.

            “He violated Panda!” she replied defensively.

            “It was very traumatic…” the plushie added.

            “I had no idea that a Boss could even touch you,” I remarked.

            “Me neither…”

            “We should definitely be worried about that, right?”

            “They can’t actually hurt me,” Panda said with a level of confidence hinting at the fact that he knew something we didn’t.

            “How are you so sure?” Bee rightly asked.

            “Enough about me!” he retorted, clearly wanting to change the subject. “What about you, Gambit? How do you feel now that the Mayor is dead?”

            I looked down at the pile of black mush.

            “He’s been dead for a long time. That wasn’t the Mayor.”

            On some deep level, I’d known that he wouldn’t be the same person I had sworn vengeance against. The Great Game had shown, time and again, that they were okay messing with the reality of things, and they certainly had a thing for antagonizing me. The moment they knew I was a menace, they’d likely prepared the Mayor to trap me.

            I let out a long sigh. “Maybe it’s time to put it behind me at last.”

            “Yes!” Panda exclaimed triumphantly.

            “I’ll set my sights higher.”

            “Wait no, stop.”

            “I’ll go after the Agencies, one-by-one, until none are left! Until the Great Game is forced to shut down!”

            “I was really hoping you’d decide to use your power to save what’s left of humanity. But it’s like you can’t function without some higher power or authority to go after…”

            “Everyone needs a hobby, Panda.”

            He sighed in defeat, still held within Bee’s arms.

            “Fine, I suppose this is slightly better than obsessing about the Mayor and anyone else who hurt you in the past.”

            Bee started walking towards the wisp hovering in the pile of black mush and I was looking forward to seeing what it dropped.

            She froze just as her hand reached out to it, a red glimmer visible in her Nerdy Spectacles.

            “It’s still—”

            A crimson arm wielding a greatsword slashed out from the middle of the pile, shearing through Bee’s right shoulder and both of the wings on that side of her body.

            The wisp had been a trap!

            I reacted faster than I knew was possible, springing forward to grab her and push her out of harm’s way, just as a slash followed the first strike. We tumbled across the ground, hitting one of the charred pumps and coming to an abrupt halt.

Meanwhile, a large red clawed gauntlet reached out from within the Leftovers Wisp, attached to a double-jointed arm covered in segmented plates. The right one holding the greatsword also grew a little, but was still shorter overall. Two long armored legs sprouted from beneath the wisp and, as they extended themselves, it rose up into the air, taller than the Bodysnatcher had been. Lastly followed a head, although it was really just a floating square mask with a halo of red thorns hovering above it.

            “Drink the Tincture!” Panda yelled to Bee, who was rapidly losing blood and consciousness. Her entire right side was one open wound, her organs and ribcage exposed where the sword had carved through her.

            At the sight, my mind became a jumble of anxiety and fear.

            A vial of honey-colored liquid appeared in her left hand, but she was too weak to lift it to her lips. Panda immediately took it from her and snapped off the end, before hopping onto her remaining shoulder and pouring its contents into her mouth.

            “What are you waiting around for!” he yelled at me without turning. “Go kill it! That’s all you’re good for after all!”

            Bee’s glasses reflected the crimson figure with a Leftover Wisp for a torso, but her vacant stare just gazed into the dark sky behind it.

            As I stood back up, the self-cleaning function of my Unicorn Suit was getting rid of all her blood which covered me. I saw how her shoulder joint and right arm still lay at the foot of the new monster, and felt my gorge rising.

            Just then, she shared the appraisal with me, despite the signs of her Tincture of Full Healing not yet kicking in.

            It turned out that Panda had been right, the Flayed Queen was not to be messed with.

            I raised a middle finger at it.

            “.unicorn( )!”

            “You tell ‘im, Gamby!!” Brock hooted.

            A portal appeared next to the mask of the Red Pawn. The hind and tail of a unicorn appeared, before releasing a loud reverbing fart that created a cloud of rainbow gas.

            Then it disappeared as suddenly as it had arrived.

            “Well, shit.”

            I had one other idea for how to deal a lot of damage to it, but if it failed, then we were probably fucked.

            “Use the Droplet to distract it!” Panda yelled.

            “The Droplet?” I asked for a second, before realizing what he meant.

            The Spawn was not allowing me a second to breathe though, as it immediately swung the greatsword down at me. I dodgerolled to the side, hoping it would ignore Bee.

            A slash followed and I was forced to roll again, but it was clearly targeting me specifically.

            I used Spring Heel to create some distance, but the Red Pawn, eager to chop me in two like it’d done to Bee, hopped with me. Its armored feet scraped the pavement loudly as it landed, releasing sparks and chunks of asphalt. Then it swung again and all I could do was dodge.

            While I rolled through its attack, I opened my inventory and pulled out the Queen’s Droplet.

            As soon as I came back onto my feet, the Red Pawn stood frozen, staring at the object in my hand.

            “Oh, you want this, huh?”

            I pulled out another item from my inventory, one of the two Lucky Dice I possessed. It arrived in the palm of my hand as a pair of dice and both were made of warm reflective-black stone with a golden clover on each face. I tossed the dice while raising the droplet that the Red Pawn was still very much focused on.

---

LUCKY DICE ROLLED!

Your next luck-based Encounter, Skill, or Loot Drop has been tweaked heavily in your favor.

---

            The Droplet itself was actually held in a glass cylinder that had no obvious way to open it. It was probably for the best, since direct exposure to the blood of the Flayed Queen would literally make me her slave…

            I pulled back my right arm holding the cylinder, before yeeting it straight into the air.

            The Red Pawn followed it as it flew up, ignoring my presence completely.

            After lowering myself down into a crouch, I sprung forward and swung my fist into its mask.

            “Punch.spinTheWheel( )!”

            The golden wheel came down from out of nowhere. Unlike every other time before, this time the different triangle segments were all green.

*Sigh*
We’re back. Don’t get your hopes up though, this isn’t your regular spin of the wheel…

‘Gambit’, that son of a gun, has used a Lucky Dice to rig this game of chance in his favor.

*Audience booing*

Yep, it sucks.

So let’s just get it over with.

For this Lucky spin only, here are the options:

10000x Damage

Atomic Annihilation

Wet Willy

A Visit From Skippy

Cosmic Deletion

Stop Punching Yourself

Alright, chop-chop, say the magic phrase and let’s get this over with!

*Audience cheering*

            “Hey, Mammon, I actually had a new question,” I started.

No. We’re not doing this.

            Immediately the wheel began to spin on its own.

            “Oi! I didn’t even say the phrase!” I protested, but I suddenly felt my mouth get zipped shut by the Greedling’s magic.

The result is ‘A Visit From Skippy’!

Well, at least it landed on a fun one.

I’m not going to spoil what happens. Just keep watching.

            The golden wheel was quickly pulled up and away, before time resumed as normal. I was flung back as a massive black pond appeared below the Red Pawn, who was still looking up into the air at the droplet I’d tossed away.

            I landed on my ass and skidded a few feet.

            Suddenly and without warning, a massive whale-shark-like creature came out of the black pond and snapped its jaws shut around the Spawn of the Flayed Queen, before pulling it away and down into the black pond.

            Even after the Red Pawn disappeared and an orange Leftover Wisp blossomed to life above the black water, the pond didn’t go away. Ten seconds after the wisp appeared, the Droplet fell back down to the ground and into the dark waters, no doubt lost forever.

            Bee came over to my side, helping me back to my feet.

            I looked her up-and-down, but she seemed back to full.

            “Are you okay?” I asked her.

            She nodded. “The All-Mother promised me that she will wage eternal war on the Flayed Queen.”

            “That’s, eh, something?”

            “Before either of you think about it,” Panda started. “Don’t touch that water in the black pond.”

            “Who is ‘Skippy’?”

            “A different Absolute’s Spawn… It’s definitely a bad sign that so many of them have shown up this early.”

            “I’ll grab the Leftovers,” Bee announced, lifting off the ground with her regenerated wings and being careful to not touch the pond, while she lowered herself down to grab the contents of the wisp.

            For a brief second, I anticipated another trap, but this time it disappeared as soon as she looted it.

            When she returned, she was grinning from ear-to-ear.

            “Look:”

---

Leftovers of Absolute’s Spawn ‘Red Pawn’:

2000x ‘GAME Coins’

'Safe Zone Sphere'

‘Bodysnatcher’s Tongue’

‘Red Pawn’s Mask’

‘Halo of Thorns’

---

-----------------------------

Phew what a doozy, huh?

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

MADMAN APOCALYPSE - Chapter -122

-Previous chapter-
---Next chapter----

-----------------------------

Chapter -122

I was sitting in the darkness next to a truck that was missing its wheels, while watching the gas station on the other side of the street. A fit thirty-something black guy dressed in construction clothes holding a heavy-looking crossbow was guarding the entrance.

            “They must be inside,” I whispered to Bee. “But let me check.”

            “Rootkit.”

---        

Rootkit initiating!

...

…Evading firewall...

...

…Generating backdoor...

...

…Playing ‘im_in.mp3’ through speakers…

...

Success!

Rootkit installed on Player Target: ‘Davis Green’

---

            “Rootkit.monitor( ),” I continued.

            A small webcam screen appeared in the center of my vision, the quality extremely poor, but nevertheless from the perspective of Davis Green.

            “This is still creepy,” Panda remarked.

            The man was gliding his gaze across the surroundings, while a little bit of light from within the gas station was illuminating his surroundings. From the way the light shifted, I guessed its origin was either a few candles or maybe a campfire. Lighting fire within a gas station seemed pretty idiotic, but it did present an easy way to get rid of them all. But first…

            “Where’s the Otter…” I muttered.

            [Wish I had some smokes…] came the muttered voice of Davis, full of static and audio artefacts.

            I mentally nudged the webcam screen out from the center of my vision, before picking up a small pebble from the ground. The entire scrap yard was essentially just a gravel field with old cars.

            “What are you doing with that?” Bee whispered.

            “A small distraction.”

            “There’s no way that’ll work,” Panda remarked.

            I put the pebble between the thumb and middle fingers of the balloon gauntlet, then finger-flicked it at the side of an abandoned truck near where Davis was guarding.

            “Distraction pebble!!” squealed Brock.

            The pebble hit the truck’s door and penetrated all the way through with a loud pling!

            “How the hell are you so accurate?” Panda wondered.

            “Practice.”

            “Bullshit.”

            “Why aren’t we just killing them?” Bee asked.

            I glared at her. “We need the Otter! You know how it goes: ‘Save the Otter, save the world’!”

            “What are you talking about?” she replied.

            I shook my head. “You’ll realize what I mean by season 4.”

            Bee looked to Panda for guidance.

            “Don’t ask me. I’m lost too.”

            The footage of the webcam shifted as Davis went to investigate the sound, his crossbow lifted and ready to fire.

            “Why did that work…?” Panda muttered.

            “Guards always check loud noises, even if they are clearly distractions,” I lectured.

            As Davis went around the back of the truck, he disappeared from our line of sight. We had a straight unimpeded shot to the gas station now, but I wanted to see where the Mayor was first, since I didn’t trust the Skinstealer to not lay in wait for me.

            [Must’ve been the wind…] Davis muttered through the webcam feed.

            “Are we sure this guy isn’t the Skinstealer?” Panda wondered. “He’s acting like an NPC.”

            “What’s that?” Bee asked.

            [Crunch!]

            “It means—”

            I immediately interrupted him before he could get started, “Shut up. Listen.”

            [Crunch!]

            Davis seemed to have picked up on the sound as well, as he turned towards its source. We couldn’t see him at all from where we hid, but, from the feed, it seemed the sound was coming from behind an overturned container truck.

            There was no light at all in that part of the gas station’s parking lot, so Davis pulled out a lighter from his trouser pocket and flicked it on, while holding the crossbow steady with his other hand. The crunching sounds grew louder-and-louder as he circled around the side of the truck. Lip-smacking and water-dripping sounds were interspersed with the crunching, and as he came around to the other side of the truck, there was a hunched-over dark shape there, eating something. Since my Transition Lenses didn’t affect what Davis was seeing, I had no idea what he was looking at.

            Bee was waiting for an update patiently, unable to see what Panda and I were watching.

            [Mister Sullivan, that you?] asked Davis.

            The sounds stopped and the dark shape righted itself slightly.

            Davis threw the lighter towards it and the brief glimpse of the creature made me grit my teeth.

            The lighter’s flame illuminated a prone shape of what looked like a human-sized brown teddy-bear. The middle of it was frayed and torn open, revealing a bloodied and ripped human body beneath its surface.

But it wasn’t a bear. It was an otter.

The creature that’d been snacking on it looked like a human from the torso and down, but the neck and head were peeled open and full of teeth, as though belonging to a lamprey-humanoid creature.

[Drip!] came the sound of the dark blood that fell from the many teeth.

            The open face and neck zipped itself shut and became a recognizable human face. Noah Sullivan’s face to be exact.

            As he stood up to his full height, regarding Davis, the lighter’s flame died out.

            [You caught me at an awkward moment…] said Noah.

            [Is that… is that Otto!?]

            The dark shape took a step towards Davis, before suddenly flying forward.

            The webcam feed cut off and a scream rent the air.

            “Shit,” Panda muttered.

            “…He killed Otto! Otto the Otter Mascot!!”

            I stood up, clenching my fists in outrage.

            “Gambit, calm down,” Bee urged.

            In the distance at the gas station, the three remaining Players within quickly stormed out through the doors, crossbows and spears in their hands.

            A dark shape immediately landed on the first one, tearing it limb-from-limb, while the two survivors began attacking it.

            I stooped to pick up some pebbles and immediately finger-flicked one at a gas pump next to them.

            Pling!

            A dime-sized hole opened in the front of it and liquid started bubbling out gleefully, while the last two of Noah’s crew were torn apart by him.

            I finger-flicked another pebble, aiming it at the ground near the gasoline.

            The sound was like a loud scratch, but as soon as it created a small spark, a deafening explosion rolled through the gas station as the whole thing lit up like the 4th of July.

            I stormed towards the flames, my fists clenched.

            “You’ll fucking die, Noah!” I yelled, pulling the Soul Blade from my chest and manifesting a purple gummy-bear trident.

            I lifted the weapon above my head, charging it while running into the fire.

“For Otto!!” I screamed.

-----------------------------

Next chapter should be longer than usual since I'm planning on doing the confrontation in one go. I usually don't like splitting big fights up, unless they get way too long.

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