Macronomicon

Chapter 7: Careful Planning

“Anybody bring a light?” Jeb asked into the void.

The response was the chittering of insects and a whoosh of air as something big went right past his face.

“Hit the deck!” Corporal Stevens shouted, and Jeb complied. His FMO shields were magic, but he didn’t wanna test how magic. Jeb knew his telekinesis had limits, and it took several shields to stop a single nine-milimeter. A Browning might tear him in half.

The kid lit up the enclosed t...

Chapter 6: Ants With Guns

“There you are, you…” While unlocking a door via telekinesis was easy as balls, unlocking a huge-ass vault door was significantly more difficult. The bolts were locked in place without electricity, after all, and Jeb only had two strands of Myst.

I should work on that.

Instead, he ordered a pair of Bucks to take turns carving on the door, each of them stepping back and giving their  antlers a moment to recharge while the other went to town on the thick steel pl...

Chapter 5: Saw Love Daddy

Humans were streaming like ants toward the east side of the air force base, and the ants…they were forming ranks.

Small caliber bullets pancaked ineffectually off the heavily armored forelimbs as the creatures marched forward in lockstep, commanding the space in the streets. Every once in a while a bullet would penetrate the creature’s forelimbs. Whether that was due to a Skill, or a failing of the creature’s armor, it didn’t make a difference. A small spot of blue bl...

Chapter 4: NAFB

Nellis Air Force Base was originally three hundred miles away from L.A., give or take, but because of The Stitching, Earth had been haphazardly slapped together with Pharos half a year ago. Any long-range travel had been doubled in length and tripled in duration. Roads ended in dead-ends with swaths of Pharosian desert in between them.

Not to mention the monsters.

The hazards of the post-apocalyptic world effectively made a five-hour road trip into a two-day journey with potential...

Chapter 3: No Nukes is Good Nukes

As it turned out, the restaurant did not have ketchup, but they were happy to try and whip up an approximation.

Jeb once again took in how fabulously wealthy the eatery was, and observed just how comfortable Vresh was sitting there being waited on by men wearing literal gold trim. Old money, Jeb’s instincts told him, and the tiny gold digger voice in his head wondered if she was single.

Jeb nearly jumped when a fork clattered a little too hard against a plate.

He�...

Chapter 2 : Scrappy Doo

Vresh had given him an ultimatum to meet him at a neutral location alone where she would brief him on ‘the mission’, by tomorrow noon, or else she would…I dunno, she was vague about the ‘or else’ part.

“You watched her saw a man’s head off.” Smartass pointed out, as if reading his mind.

“That is true,” Jeb said, taking a deep breath and blowing through the Appraiser, filling the center of his room with a roiling grey cloud laced with bright red thunder...

Chapter one: #Notallfairies

“This way!” Ari said, motioning  Kezdorn to follow her up the side of the mountain.

“Easy…for…you to…say.” Kezdorn panted as he tried to keep up with the little fairy flitting her way up the crusted mountainside. Already the coating of faradan was beginning to crack as nature pushed its way up through the brittle stone, lending a hint of green to the pale blue covering.

“Geez,” The tiny little creature flickered in front of his face, hands on her hips and sc...

Vegas Vs. The Roil

I'm concerned that the detours to vegas and alcatraz are slow reading, and they don't advance the plot at all: they don't even work as a chekov's gun that he pulls out at the last minute, so they just sit there doing nothing like an appendix.
 

Here's the paragraphs :
Jeb visited Alcatraz using an abandoned ferry boat and found an Imprisonment and Hopelessness lens on the grounds of the historic prison, as well as several families of squatters using it as a ...

The road ahead...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X_2IdybTV0

There's a lot of work to do before the book is Kindle ready, and I want you guys to know how I'm going to be spending my time.

I plan on spending at least 2 weeks editing/copyediting/brainstorming book 3

the list of issues to address is as follows:

bar transition in chapter 3 needs to be clearer

move the mention of th...

Chapter 27: Aftermath

Jeb froze in front of the throne, feeling like a very small animal in front of a very large snake…with cheerful yellow plumage.

“Without this information we wouldn’t have exposed this level of corruption in our local government, and for your help excising this tumor from my empire, I must thank you,”

The emperor stood, walking gracefully down to where Jeb was crouched, seemingly gliding down the steps, the way his legs held his body stable.

“I thank you,” He said...

Chapter 26: The Storm (Pt. 2)

***Brett***

Brett was no stranger to a party.

He’d never been to a party with naked bird-women carrying trays of hors d’oeuvres, but still, you’ve been to one orgy where everyone’s wearing a big-bird mask, you’ve been to them all.

Amanda and Brett split apart like hunters herding their prey, splitting the meet-and-greets up for maximum effect. He went left and smiled and shook hands, bowed and waggled his neck at all the horrible feudal jokes, while Amanda took the...

Chapter 25: The Storm

Being a Roil Chaser was dangerous work, but it was rewarding, in more ways than one.

The empire needed to know immediately if the living storm made any unexpected movements, and Gale liked knowing that the advance warning afforded by him and his companions was literally saving lives from the grim fate that awaited them inside the tangled mass of spacetime.

The incredibly rare and valuable Space and Time lenses that dropped in the wake of the storm were just kind of a bonus.  ...

Cover Shenanigans

So I Commissioned some art of Jess for the cover of Book 1 along with art of Smartass for Book 2. This represents three days of work on the part of the artist, and I think it looks fantastic. The finished product might be a couple inches more lewd but still within acceptable parameters...hopefully.  I'd like to hear what you guys think about it. opinions about changes are being reviewed for the ...

Chapter 24: The Calm

***Emperor Pikaku, Uniter of the Continent, Ruler of Mestikos, Level 327***

Chains rattled as Pikaku’s father moved his hand, telegraphing his next move.

Pikaku chose discretion, allowing his father’s Waluigi to sprint far ahead. The former emperor had chosen the character because he had the most passing resemblance to their people’s body.

Pikaku had chosen Peach, because her plumage was rather salacious.

“I spanked you once, I’ll spank you again,” the with...

Chapter 23: Fan Mail

“Any interest in going with him? Jeb asked Smartass as Eddie left, his drone taking off and flying high above his creator, keeping an extra eye on the situation, albeit golden retriever smart.

“You know what the normal response to a fairy in the halls of government are?” Smartass asked, watching Jeb from his shoulder.

“A rolled up newspaper?” Jeb asked, glancing over at her.

“Yes!” Smartass shouted, shaking her fist. “Just because we occasionally mak...

Chapter 22: Factory Settings

The lens merchants looked at Jeb like he was going to get everything dirty and/or plot some kind of terrorism, but when Zlesk walked in covered in wounds, they bent over backwards to accommodate him as soon as they saw his Citizen club card, selling him whatever he wanted without question.

Forget the fact that Jeb was actually planning on doing violence with the supplies, it still rankled to be viewed with suspicion.

Bah, Jeb thought as he fed another An...

Chapter 21: The O’sut Bottleneck

Jeb charged up the stairs, heart hammering as he did. At the top of the spiral staircase, he paused long enough to look left and right, keeping an eye open for homicidal Keegan.

There, on the left, was a room with a splintered open door. Jeb barreled down the hall, his prosthetic foot clacking against the thin carpet until he came to a screeching halt in the doorway.

For an instant, Jeb felt as though he had once again been jettisoned out of his body, watching the event t...

Chapter 20: Location, Location, Location

“Are you…are you serious?”

“Unless you wish to retract your scurrilous statement! You have insulted me, and the only way out for you now is to retract your words or face your death in combat!”

“First of all,” Jeb said, holding up a finger. “It was a scurrilous question, which you refused to answer because you’re obviously guilty, and second, duels are stupid!”

A collective gasp rippled through the stands.

“I mean, what kind of idiot thoug...

Chapter 19: The Trial

They spilled their guts in every way but the literal way.

The judge’s name was Mirzos Elkor, and he’d suddenly grown a give-a-shit for the sanctity of human life sometime between the night before last and now. Out of nowhere, the keegan judge had leaned on the detective’s boss, who had leaned on them to retrieve Jeb and squeeze a confession out of him.

In an era where Truthseekers existed, forced confessions were still a thing, go figure. If they made Jeb admit to reaping ch...

Not a chapter: Author Bio

So I need to make an author bio for Amazon, especially once book 2 comes out, or I'm basically shooting myself in the foot. People wanna follow my author page, which doesn't exist yet. To that end, i'm making an author Bio, and I want it to be jazzy.

I noticed that the vast majority of LitRPG authors are middle aged white dudes, so I decided to poke some fun at it.

Let me know via polling and comments how I did. VVV

***BIO***

I could tell you that Macronomicon's Lit...

Chapter 18: Plan C

“Children?” Zlesk whispered, clenching his fists. “This man you’re hunting is reaping children?”

“Yeah, I mean, why did you think I started an orphanage?” Jeb asked, raising a brow.

Zlesk’s expressive brows furrowed in thought, then he shrugged. “Because it was the right thing to do, obviously.”

Jeb and Smartass burst into laughter as Zlesk looked progressively more and more pissed.

“That’s exactly the kind of attitude we look ...

Chapter 17: The Academy

“I don’t like the scar test.” Nancy griped, rubbing the burnt line of skin on the back of her hand.

“I mean, who does, but they numb it up first, so it doesn’t hurt.” Casey said, inspecting the back of his hand, which was perfectly clear of the brand. Casey had been here a full three weeks longer than she had, and he’d gotten used to the strangeness, but it gave Nancy the creeps. She still wasn’t sure if Mr. Surpey was on the up-and-up.

“It hurts after.” She mu...

Chapter 16: Throttled

“Hey, Zlesk!” Jeb exclaimed upon seeing the keegan sheriff gracing his doorstep. “How’s it going?”

Sure is nice to see him again. He’s a good guy. I wonder what he’s doing here, though? Him taking a vacation that soon after me leaving doesn’t sound right. He seemed to really like his job. Maybe…

Jeb’s eyes went wide as he put two and two together just as the massive keegan lunged forward.

Jeb wasn’t small by any means, he wasn’t huge either. ...

Chapter 15: Knock Knock

“Boss!”

“Ngeh!” Jeb grunted, peeling his eyes open to stare at the ceiling. Principles of Myst sensors and behavior programming 101 lay open on his chest where he’d simply dozed off somewhere halfway through the night.

“There’s some kid at the door!” Mr. Everett said, jutting his head through Jeb’s door. “You wanna check it out?”

“I thought I locked that thing,” Jeb muttered, eyeing the door.

“Given your mental state, we th...

Chapter 14: Can’t go Back

Nancy’s eyes popped open and she sat up, her heart beating so fast.

Where am I? she craned her neck, looking around the room. The walls and ceiling were clean looking except for the smudges above the lamps, which seemed to be made of shiny gold. The walls they attached to were as red as blood, with off-white pillars supporting them. They reminded Nancy of bone.

She felt tears begin to well in her eyes as she realized that she had absolutely no idea whe...

Chapter 13: Networking

Ron glanced over at Jeb clomping down the road, patting his forehead with the damp towel. Then the Mystic Taxidermist did a double-take.

“Holy shit!” Ron dropped his hoe and leaped over the waist-high fence, landing on the dirt path outside his land and sprinting toward Jeb at a decidedly inhuman pace. Maybe not car speed, but definitely as fast as a four-wheeler.

“Ron, hold up, I’m not –“

Ron tackled Jeb’s chest, sending both of them careening to the ...

Chapter 12: Run Forest

“You’re serious?” Jeb asked.

“No humans allowed.” The hulking melas said, holding up an orange palm in front of his face. “Surely you can read the sign.” He motioned to a big white sign with scribbles on it.

“This is usually the part where the bribe works,” Jeb muttered to himself, glancing greedily through the window, where dozens of minor magic items were sitting on glittering glass stands. Magic clips, magic pens, magic floaty paperweights.

Further back,...

Chapter 11: Buying Company

“This must be the place,” Jeb said, glancing up at the sign. ‘Otto’s Slave house’ hung over the door according to Smartass, but it wasn’t sleazy and written on a plank of wood, it was carved into marble and gold, hung above the fancy looking building by thin strands of some kind of indestructible silk.

The only thing that gave the place away as a den of scum and villainy was the stench of hopelessness and the subtle change in the flavor of local Myst and spirits. They were d...

Chapter 10: Road Trip

Jeb loomed over a map of the west coast, practically butting heads with Smartass as they both surveyed the details.

“Okay, here’s the P.O.I.” Jeb, said circling the three oil refineries in California, Alcatraz off the coast of San Fran, the candy factories between here and L.A, Silicon Valley.

Jeb found his eyes sliding to the east, where Las Vegas stood. Only two hundred miles away from L.A.

“What’s in Las Vegas?” Smartass asked, following his gaze.

“Sex...

Chapter 9: Local Culture, Friendly Wildlife

“Shit!” Jeb stopped, dropped and rolled, lumps of armor plating flying above him. He rolled under the lifted Jeep, heart hammering in his ears.

Jeb whipped his forty-four out of the holster. He was too busy to feel the pain of the asphalt scalding his skin, or where the sudden jerk had banged his elbow against the metal underside of the car.

He was focused on Brav.

From his position under the car, Jeb could hear the creatures rebounding off the metal hood of the car, cla...