Wizardly Dude

[EOE] (301) 4.80. Vin Goes Boom

“This has got to be one of my least favorite plans I’ve ever been a part of,” Vin complained as they carefully loaded the last of his cargo onto his back. “I mean really, don’t we still need some of this stuff?”

“We need to not be crushed to death by a giant worm of flesh even more,” Golrim said, motioning for the Earthers to take a few steps back now that Vin was ready. “How do you feel?”

“Like I have a hundred pounds of volatile explosives strapped to every...

[TEA] (170) 4.12. Where it All Began

For someone without any experience riding horses and a fear of heights, flying through the air on the back of a pegasus had been a rather unpleasant method of travel.

Though at least it was somewhat more dignified than this.

“You okay back there?” Samantha asked for the third time as she peered over her shoulder, glancing at his face as he held onto her back. The two of them were currently soaring across the sky, heading from Whikoga back toward the remains of Horntho...

[TEA] (169) 4.11. Put Me In Your Favorites

“It’s time we talked about The Council of Death,” Donvath said, gazing intently at the two of them from his current seat. The High Prince’s darkened expression and cold tone was slightly offset by the fact that he was lounging back in one of his fancy bean bags, but only just. Asher had quickly grown used to the fact that Donvath seemed to appreciate comfort above just about all else, and he nodded from his own bean bag, reaching out to take Samantha’s hand as she did the same besid...

[EOE] (300) 4.79. Ring of Death

It took a second for the warrior’s horrified cry to spread, but within moments, everyone knew what was going on. The monster wasn’t walking or rolling so much as it was closing in on them. The gigantic ring of flesh was ever so slowly coiling itself up like a snake, finally revealing that it did have a head and a tail as it did so, though each was entirely without features, like the two ends of an enormous worm. The sheer body mass of the monster was enough that as it pulled itself tighte...

[TEA] (168) 4.10. All Lights Are Go. Time to Unlock.

The rest of the day was spent on the outskirts of the city, watching Samantha as she practiced with her new element. Asher couldn’t stop grinning at the sheer exuberance on her face as she shot up and down in the sky, pulling in her new wings to drop like a stone only to flare them out again seconds before hitting the ground and rocketing forward with incredible speed. Samantha never seemed to grow tired of flying, and Asher didn’t blame her. He hadn’t exactly enjoyed his experience rid...

[EOE] (299) 4.78. That’s Not Supposed to Happen

Vin was in the middle of teaching Shia how to play cards when it finally happened. The tell-tale sound of the bell tower going off reached their ears, only this tempo was distinctly different from the one used in their frequent drills.

The monsters were finally here.

“Guess that means it’s a draw,” Shia grinned, tossing her terrible hand onto the table and grabbing her staff as they got to their feet. “Got your potions on you?”

“Healing and mana potions at the re...

[TEA] (167) 4.9. Big Spender

Asher didn’t think he’d ever seen Samantha as excited as this before, or as distraught, either. It was a curious combination of expressions on her face, and he couldn’t help but laugh as they made their way to the pick-up area.

“One point six million shards,” she muttered for the tenth time, as if the entire rest of the world had seemed to exist. “So many shards… So many, many shards…”

“I think you broke her,” Brian said, poking Samantha in ...

[EOE] (298) 4.77. Montages are the Real Magic

Just like the long wait before the battle for wave four, the next week was simultaneously remarkably productive, and boring as all hell. For Vin at least. There was no end to the preparations that needed to be made prior to the next wave of monsters showing up, and the energy around town seemed to only grow stronger and more frantic with each passing day.

Spur began conducting the monster attack preparation drills once more, randomly ringing the bell tower in the center of town and requ...

[TEA] (166) 4.8. High Rollers

Asher had spent his entire life back on Earth growing up within the city. From taking the subway everywhere, to attending the occasional concert, he thought he had a pretty good idea of what a packed venue entailed.

He was wrong.

The Grand Auction was a massive portion of the city, spread out almost like a sprawling college campus. There were countless buildings to navigate through, each holding their own separate auctions, and often focusing on specific goods. There were...

[EOE] (297) 4.76. Show me Your Moves

While Lumel’s Dimensional Pocket did have a bit of a stasis effect thanks to one of her passives, understandably, she wasn’t the biggest fan of lugging around a corpse with her everywhere she went. As such, the first thing they did after waking up the next morning was pay Frank a visit.

“Most people bring back a shirt from their travels. Or a stupid magnet to slap on the fridge,” Frank grunted, frowning at the corpse they’d deposited on his basement table. “...

[EOE] (296) 4.75. Answe-No! More Questions.

Despite knowing it wouldn’t work, Vin tried casting his spell a second time, and then a third. Sure enough, every time he attempted to activate False Life and bring a copy of the guardian’s memories to life in order to answer their questions, the spell fizzled out and failed. After the third attempt, Alka leaned down toward him.

“Are you doing it right?”

“Yes I’m doing it right!” he snapped, gritting his teeth as he finally gave in and stood back up....

[TEA] (165) 4.7. Time Flies Like a Banana

“So, what is the plan for today?” Samantha asked, awkwardly trying to pick one of the many forks placed before her to use after they’d sat down for breakfast. The three of them had been brought to a small, private dining hall by someone with a servant class first thing in the morning. It was almost comical sitting at the ‘small’ table designed to host only a dozen guests, but Asher appreciated the gesture. He’d much rather start his day off privately with Samantha and Brian than h...

[TEA] (164) 4.6. The Sandman Leaveth

To their credit, the shock of Asher’s appearance didn’t keep the assassin frozen for long. As soon as they realized they’d been set up, they snapped into action. Seven more pouches along their belt erupted with sand, which began swirling all around the room at incredible speed and forcing Asher to shield his eyes. With a curse, he slipped into the astral to keep himself from getting stabbed while he was blind, before reaching into his rift to yank out a pair of goggles he’d picked up ...

[EOE] (295) 4.74. Questions, Questions, and more Questions

They stood there over the Relic Guardian’s corpse for a few moments, staring down at the body of the most powerful foe they’d ever encountered. None of them seemed to have any idea what had happened or what to do. Finally, after a few more seconds, Alka leaned forward.

And poked the tip of her sword into his naked back.

“Alka!” Vin snapped as she pulled her sword free and began poking all over the man’s body. “What the hell are you doing?!”
“Just confirming som...

[TEA] (163) 4.5. The Sandman Cometh

Asher sat crosslegged atop a wooden table that probably would have cost a few thousand dollars back on Earth as he waited for his ‘surprise’ visitor to arrive. The room he and Samantha had been given by Donvath was a tad grand for his taste, consisting of a truly massive bed that looked like it had been created for a giant, an artisanal furniture set that screamed of wealth, and even an attached bathroom that was practically larger than Samantha’s entire cabin. According to Donvath, it ...

[EOE] (294) 4.73. Just Try and Kill Me

The moment the words left the Relic Guardian’s mouth, Vin felt his heart drop straight into his stomach. Not only was the man still alive after taking that massive explosion directly to the face, he somehow remembered them despite his raving insanity. Gripping his staff in hand, Vin barely managed to stop himself before his golem arm tightened and splintered his quarterstaff in half.

While they all hesitated, glancing at one another while waiting to see who would speak first, the guar...

[TEA] (162) 4.4. Time for Time

Upon realizing who they were standing before, Samantha and Brian both gasped, before quickly bowing their heads even lower than Lily did. Asher wasn’t sure if he should be bowing or punching the High Prince in the arm like he was greeting an old friend based on how the man was treating him, so he decided to meet somewhere in the middle.

“Donvath,” he said, nodding toward the man who was still glaring at him. “…Did I do something wrong?”

“Not yet, which is why ...

[EOE] (293) 4.72. Old Flames

The last time they’d broken out of the citadel, the guards had all been more than a little distracted by the massive explosion and all the colorful smoke pouring out of the center of the holy district. Even if Vin and the team didn’t have anything to fear from low level guards yelling at their backs as they hopped the wall and ran off, Vin preferred not being the cause of any sort of incident. With that in mind, and a few hours to kill until midnight for safety, Vin decided to take advant...

[TEA] (161) 4.3. Magic Time

“Asher?” Lily asked, finally realizing something was up. Peering at him, the royal guard frowned. “Something wrong?”

“He’s a wizard,” Asher said bluntly, earning two soft gasps from Samantha and Brian. Immediately, Brian leapt back from the man, all but snarling as he reached for the bow on his back, stopped only at the last second by his older sister, who looked like she was struggling to refrain from doing the exact same. If Asher didn’t like wizards, that was nothing ...

[EOE] (292) 4.71. Story Time

Thankfully, rather than lead them to some ramshackled tavern in one of the seedier parts of the city, Scule brought them somewhere close. After paying the tavern keep for a room for the night using a few coins Vin had never seen before, Scule welcomed them to come back in the morning if they dared, before heading back home himself. Vin was a bit surprised he was willing to sleep back home after that heated argument, but Scule made it sound as if that kind of display was totally normal.

...

[TEA] (160) 4.2. The Capital

While packing up their wagon and preparing to reach the city, Asher was surprised to hear a knock on their wagon door. Other than Laura, the young girl Brian had befriended during the first leg of their trip who would occasionally swing by to play, nobody had ever bothered them while they were in their wagon. Curious, Asher opened the door.

Finding himself face to face with Lily, one of the current members of the royal guard who had been temporarily teaching at the royal guard academy a...

[EOE] (291) 6.70. Small Flames Burn Brightest

Scule’s parents seemed to have turned a new leaf in response to the majority of their welcome gifts, other than Alka’s daggers, and Vin managed to delude himself into thinking that the two older petians would continue to warm to their presence and reveal that they weren’t quite as bad as Scule made them out to be.

That hope lasted about as long as the desserts did.

For a while, things were alright. Vin listened to Lumel as she told story after story of life within her father...

[TEA] (159) 4.1. A Caravan’s Conclusion

“Is that it?” Brian asked, staring in awe from atop their mogrant as the caravan slowly but surely carried the three of them the final few miles toward the capital of the Noala Kingdom. The last leg of their journey from Abingdon to the capital had only taken two days, but after everything they’d been through recently, those two days before reaching the safety of the royal capital had put Asher a little on edge. 

Having recently been cut in half and killed did that to a perso...

[EOE] (290) 4.69. Small First Impressions

“These are your friends?” Scule’s mother asked, her beady eyes skimming over them as she took them all in. The poor woman blanched slightly at Shia’s jagged smile, but she seemed even more put off by the hood covering Lumel’s face. “It’s not very polite to keep your face hidden when imposing, you know. And what’s wrong with that elf’s teeth?”

And just like that, Vin decided he didn’t like Scule’s parents very much.

“I told you, Shia is a differen...

[TEA] (158) 3.57. Looting is Wrong. Sometimes.

Asher’s hunch proved correct, as it wasn’t too much longer before someone finally entered the courtyard and spotted them.

“Are the two of you alright?” a woman wearing heavy armor asked as she walked up to them. Based on the clean armor and the fact that she’d come from within the fort, Asher could only assume she had been one of the ones guarding the students.

[Royal Guard] - 3/3 Elements

“Been better,” Asher admitted, waving lazily at her fro...

[EOE] (289) 4.68. Tiny Town

Vin hadn’t really been sure what to expect when he thought about what the petians’ living quarters might have looked like within the citadel. A few hundred tiny people all sharing one regular sized house? A series of small tunnels scattered throughout part of the city that they traveled through like hamsters? A handful of elaborate bird houses strung up around the city to allow the petians to avoid being stepped on?

In actuality, Tiny Town ended up being a fairly large building that...

[TEA] (157) 3.56. Put the Pieces back Together

The very first thing Asher did after the demon finally died was try not to panic. To his surprise, the fact that his lower half was no longer attached to his body didn’t seem to freak him out nearly as much as he would have expected. Of course, having had more than a little training in first aid, he fully understood why that was the case.

I’m going into shock, he thought clinically, watching the blood pour from his torso. I suppose I should do something about that befor...