We still had some cans of Agatha’s spray paint, and I painted “Mother of All Bombs” on the side of the contraption.
It took us about five hours to finish building the launcher. Brandon had pointed out MOAB actually stood for "Massive Ordnance Air Blast," but his brother said, “Don’t be that guy.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Brandon said. “The name is still wrong. When they say ‘Mother of all bombs,’ they mean one giant bomb. Not what...
2020-02-27 02:12:44 +0000 UTC View Post
The recap episode started with a close-up shot of Jack’s purple, veined, and uncircumcised dick, huge on the screen. The headline screamed, “Trapped! Meadow Lark and The Royal Court of Princess Donut in Peril!”
“Wow,” Donut said. “Yours isn’t nearly that big. Or oily looking. And it doesn’t have that hat thing.”
If looks could kill, the glare Imani shot at the cat would’ve ripped her in two.
“Goddamnit, Donut,” I muttered befo...
2020-02-25 08:52:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Chapter 38
The next several seconds seemed to happen in slow motion. Donut was the first to react. She jumped up, claws out, as if she meant to decapitate the elderly man. She pulled back at the last moment, instead pushing off his shoulder and sailing through the air, flying until she landed three platforms down.
Yolanda also reacted, just a fraction of a moment behind Donut. She didn’t pulled her attack. An arrow sprouted from the side of Jack’s head...
2020-02-21 23:49:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Mordecai shrieked in rage. “Out! Out of my room!” He kicked at the monsters, punting them like oversized footballs out into the hallway.
“Gah,” I cried, jumping back. “Why aren’t they teleporting away?”
“They won’t until they attack,” he said. “Not on their own, at least.” He was scooping them up by the armfuls, tossing them back out into the hall. But it was useless. For every two he tossed out, four more got in. Eventually he gave...
2020-02-19 21:28:21 +0000 UTC View Post
FYI these are going to eventually be die-cut stickers (Just the monsters, not the text all around them.)
2020-02-19 21:09:18 +0000 UTC View Post
All of my menus disappeared. My entire HUD snapped off. It was just like it had been when we’d been transported up to the production boat floating on the surface.
I just stared at the person, uncomprehending for several seconds. Are you kidding me with this shit?
It was a kua-tin. A female kua-tin. I remembered the massive carving on the doors, and I compared it to this creature. Before, I’d seen similar sea creatures in the audience at ...
2020-02-17 21:42:37 +0000 UTC View Post
I wasn’t dead.
I was deaf. I was blind. I was in a fuck ton of pain. I couldn’t feel my legs.
But I wasn’t dead.
I gasped for air. My health was blinking, the lowest it had ever been. My eardrums had been blown out. My entire face felt burned, my eyes included. The pain was overwhelming, like hundreds of claws pulling at me from different directions at once. They were still pulling, ripping pieces of me away.
The Taint still h...
2020-02-17 10:44:24 +0000 UTC View PostThe whole shebang so far in .mobi and .epub.
2020-02-14 23:08:43 +0000 UTC View Post
Krakaren Clone!
Level 10 Neighborhood Boss!
First off, this isn’t the Krakaren. This is a Krakaren. For every one that is killed, Krakaren Prime births two more.
Part of a collective mind intent upon destroying any semblance of scientific progress in the universe, the Krakaren is the only commu...
2020-02-14 23:01:26 +0000 UTC View PostA couple quick retcons from the previous chapter....
I added a mention of the discontinued Rev-Up Smoothies in the brochure.
I changed the name of the fairies from the Ouph to Laminak. I also rewrote the last couple of paragraphs of Chapter 32. Instead of going over all the changes, I just added them here before Chapter 33.
Chapter 32 (Ending)
We finally came across a new type of mob just outside of the boss room, which was thankfully...
2020-02-13 01:49:38 +0000 UTC View PostFor those of you awesome folks who are Celestial Benefactors, I wanted to drop a note of how much I appreciate your support. When Dungeon Crawler Carl eventually becomes an actual book, I will shout out each of you in the book. In the meantime, I have attached a review copy of my book Kaiju: Battlefield Surgeon. I will have audio review copies coming soon, too, once the audio emerges.
If you'd like a copy of The Shivered Sky, you may get one here: 2020-02-11 23:03:16 +0000 UTC
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I'm going to do a series of faux advertisements like the attached using mobs from different floors. I already have some planned out with mobs you guys haven't met yet, but if there are any specific ones you'd like to see (Danger Dingoes, Bad Llamas, etc.,) Let me know.
Not bosses yet. Those are coming too.
Again, chapters are a little rough. This one might change a bit based on how the next chapter finishes up.
Chapter 32
Time to Collapse: Five days, ten hours
Views: 69 Billion
Followers: 635 Million
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As we approached the quadrant with the stairwell, we could now see that there was a tutorial guild and another saferoom just beyond the stairs. The plan was to probe the monsters, see how difficu...
2020-02-10 20:57:57 +0000 UTC View Post
The plan is to have artists draw some of the mobs from the dungeon and add the images to the story over on RR. If there are any particular mobs you guys would like to see, let me know, and I will prioritize them.
2020-02-08 22:34:47 +0000 UTC View PostThis is the farthest chapter I have that I'm comfortable sharing. So we're not quite two-weeks ahead of the curve, but we'll get there soon. Again, the editing on these my by abysmal. I apologize in advance for that.
Brandon and crew were still bringing people into the safe room as the next episode premiered.
Right when the show started, the timer finally ran out. The world rumbled, and the ground under my feet shook. The shaking lasted but a second....
2020-02-08 22:27:37 +0000 UTC View PostAttached to this post is the complete story up to this point in both epub and mobi format. The last couple of chapters need more editing. I will try to update this every week or so with everything that has been written so far.
If there's another format you prefer (pdf. etc.), let me know.
Chapter 30
Floor Two
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Followers: 0
Favorites: 0
“There’s nobody on my list,” Donut said. “I don’t have any followers yet.”
We’d been on the second floor for about five seconds. Thankfully, Brandon and his crew hadn’t come down yet. We still had two hours until the collapse, and I suspected they were waiting to see if Chris could convince the thirty folks ho...
2020-02-08 22:16:16 +0000 UTC View PostQuick Note. My goal is to get these chapters well ahead of the content on RR. Since this is new, it'll take a few days to pull ahead. As such, the level of editing is going to be less than optimal.
Chapter 29
The lights of the studio flipped all the way on, and the audience snapped away. The studio remained, but the bleachers were just gone. Odette remained behind the desk.
“Great show everyone,” Odette said, looking up at the ...
2020-02-08 22:09:20 +0000 UTC View PostThis is the first post. There is no content yet. Everything should launch shortly. If there’s anything specific you’d like to see, please let me know!
2020-02-07 22:27:39 +0000 UTC View Post