WarbyPicus

Vol. 1 Chap. 10 The Second Wave's Hidden Knife!

They came piling out of the woods, churning up the charnel house remains of their comrades. Long, human hands supporting their four legged, leaping lope. Claw-like fingers flexed like toes to launch the monsters up and over obstacles. Their horned heads screaming their hate and defiance at the sky. At the Tower. At me.

But between me and them was a field full of stakes, a palisade wall, and my Awakened Souls.

”Targets Marked. Reloading.” Radz's creepily flat voice now sounded ...

Vol. 1 Chap. 9 The Second Wave Begins

The orders of the day were done. Night was coming. The monsters were coming.

I put people in their places. Radz fit neatly on her firing platform. Versai swore blind that the monsters only attacked in melee. I hoped she was right, because otherwise Radz was no-lucky-chances-permitted DEAD. Sitting up there with no cover, on her frankly bizarre looking mortar. It was eye searingly impractical, even by the standards of gacha game weapon design nonsense.

She sat on top of the mortar....

Vol. 1 Chap. 8 But First, A Very Special Offer!

I jogged back up to the Throne Room, just to make sure I had gotten through all the non-combat assignments. And to collect the rewards, naturally!

Let’s see, I visited the map room for the first time, that’s worth… Huh. Forty Rune Bones. With which I can purchase… nothing. Fantastic. First Expedition- OH! Oh, now we are cooking! 

Not me cooking, obviously, I’m a cup noodle and delivery guy, but we, figuratively, are cooking. Because First Exped...

Vol. 1 Chap. 7 The First Expedition

Rested and refreshed after advancing to Day 2, I merrily marched to my newly opened Map Room. It was three floors down from the throne room, but I was starting to get a bit suspicious of the Tower’s geography. The floors were all connected by a single spiral staircase, the doors (sealed or otherwise) were spaced evenly apart. It took the same amount of time to get from the throne room to the summoning room, to the map room, and so on and so on, down the tower. Which was obviously nonsense.<...

Vol. 1 Chap. 6 First Loot!

I looked out over the torn up trees. Leaking corpses of deformed monstrosities lay where they fell. Skewered on branches, or stakes, or trampled by their fellows. “Like Christmas at Guillermo del Toro’s house,” I muttered.

“Pardon, Tower Master?” Versai asked. She still looked immensely chipper about everything. Guess she was used to it.

“Oh, nothing. How do we go about looting? They don’t exactly have pockets.”

“Oh, easy. Just send out summons to tap them....

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 12 Volcano Country

This is the life. Truth sighed contentedly. He stretched and twisted, deigning to eat a chunk of melon as the spellhounds ran furiously up and down the lines of traffic. How did I live without a spatial ring? What kind of miserable existence was that?

”Have your documents ready for inspection! Commercial vehicles into the far left lane! Carriages with two or more people in the second from the left lane! Everyone else, find another lane and wait for inspection!”

Vol. 1 Chap. 5 The First Wave

Nobody got hungry or thirsty. I could have ignored it earlier, but by the end of a long and busy day, it was inescapable. I… wasn’t hungry. More than not hungry, I didn’t feel the compulsion to eat.

There is something that comes upon you when you are very fat. You are rarely truly hungry. You eat almost constantly, without conscious thought. Grazing like cattle. Stuffed like grain finished Wagyu that has learned through humiliation that the beer and massages are a myth. Stuffing y...

Vol. 1 Chap. 4 No Job For A Man

“Versai, any idea when I should expect the first monster wave?” I lead my tiny army back towards the stairs. There was a whole rest of the tower to explore, and then trees to harvest, defenses to make, and maybe some wandering monsters to pick off. Ooh! Rache might even discover something special in the woods. That would be awesome.

“Nightfall.” She sounded certain.

“Ah. Any idea how long that will be?”

“You still have your full actions, right?”

My what...

Vol. 1 Chap. 3 They Aren’t Dolls, They Are Poseable Figurines and it’s Not Weird to Collect Them!

The long pool went misty, as a muted, but somewhat upbeat, celestial choir sang. A sad step down from when I pulled Versai. Still, it looked nice. I was excited to see what my first thousand crystal pull would get.

“Don’t get too excited.” Versai looked cooly into the mists. “One Stars seem to count for more than half of the total possible summons. I haven’t worked out the rates for others, but… sharply less. Don’t be surprised if they are all One Stars.”

Well. Tha...

Vol. 1 Chap. 2 Rise, My Loyal Blade!

The cloaked pervert waved his? hands quickly. “I really don’t have much time. Most of the tower stuff is pretty self explanatory. Explore and you will figure everything out. There are monsters outside. Don’t worry about what they are called, their backstory, any of that.”

“I doesn’t matter?”

“It’s vitally important! I’m just in a rush. Key loop- send Awakened Spirits to kill monsters, get loot, upgrade, rinse and repeat. Best loot is Resonance Crystals. Get one...

Vol. 1 Chap. 1. Thirst Trap = Death Trap

I shook my head in disgust at the tasteless sexualization of women in advertising. A bodaciously busty vampire beauty, with a distinctive gold hairpiece and a dress that existed more in theory than practice, bit her lower lip as she looked up at me from my phone. There was more fire than smoke in those red eyes. Shameful. We, as a people, are better than this.

Her luscious curves were somewhat lost behind the even more luscious curves of my finger as I hammered the download but...

New Book Rolling Out for Barefoot Prophets At 1pm Eastern

Every five minutes, a new chapter. First five drop today, next five tomorrow, then five more over the balance of the week. By the end of the week, you will be 15 chapters ahead of RR. 

I really hope you enjoy- it's about as far from Slumrat as I could imagine writing!

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 11 One Small Step

Truth had his priorities straight. After zipping away from the Embassy of Siphios and the alarming number of recording talismans, watcher spirits and unmarked, windowless ‘delivery wagons' parked up and down the street, he followed the signs to the local supermarket.

He let his eyes go soft, trying to look with his peripheral vision. Taking long, slow breaths through his nose. The right target would have a specific aroma, more spiritual than literal. He would know it when he smelled i...

I promised you something dramatic...

As of today, everyone will have wrapped up Vol. 3 of Slumrat Rising (or, at least, gotten access to it through their membership tier). Now, my deal with Podium was for three books. Obviously I'm continuing to write Slumrat Rising! I expect to hear back from Podium eventually about whether they want to extend the contract- the contract was written with that in mind. BUT! It did seem like a good opportunity to try something new.

I have wanted to write something dumb and fun for a while. S...

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 10 One Weird Trick

Truth sat and read the spellbook for Earth Folding Step. It was the longest single spell he had ever seen, blowing past Incisive and Cup and Knife. The Meditations would be practically a footnote in comparison. He got it, though. Those spells were intended to grow based on your understanding of them. Learn them early, and they will evolve with you. Not Earth Folding Step. You had to be in the upper middle levels or even the lower high levels to even begin studying it. Using it safely was a wh...

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 9 Hammered Out

Three spells to choose from. First- Earth Folding Step. Direct combat utility was… more than zero, but not a big number. More tactical than direct damage. The ability to instantly close and retreat would be an enormous edge, as would the ability to directly scram out of combat. Or run down fleeing targets. Actually, it would also make your ambush range ridiculous. Launching an assault from outside their patrol range was very spicy indeed. As was the strategic effect. He was already a nightm...

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 8 New Tools

Merkovah lead Truth from the enchanted conference room to a small interview room. It was just big enough for two chairs, a desk, and extremely robust privacy protections. Truth wasn’t entirely fit to talk. The old monster gave him time to pull himself together. Flipping through the books in the room while he waited.

Truth eventually drew a heavy breath and focused on Merkovah. “Etenesh doesn’t practice body cultivation.”

“True. Though she isn’t too far from Level Four....

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 7 Happy Ending Guarenteed

Truth thought about it a bit longer. He could sort of see what they were getting at. The conversion process, at least while he was working for Starbrite, took years to be fully effective. Or, at least, for a complete personality change, which was probably the only indication the job was done.

He really tried not to think about Harmony. About the brother he worked his ass off to get into C-Tier and equipped with the System. Six years. Long time to be under.

The mountainside was fil...

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 6 Persuasive

Truth wasn’t sure of the etiquette here. Normally, he would start the sentence with “Ms.-” but being a Siphios aristocrat, the old lady didn’t have a last name. “Madame-” and a job title was also a valid choice, also impossible due to him not actually knowing her job title. Madame Ambassador? But she wasn’t the ambassador, and what kind of weirdo would like being called by their husband’s rank?

Then, of course, you were on to the tricky business of explaining that their ...

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 5 Blessings of the Elders

The smell of the incense mixed with the woodsmoke and the coffee to create something incredible. A sensory mist that spoke to them, and the world around them. It was the only one talking. The group sat quietly around the fire, plainly not clear on where to start.

“Just to confirm- you rescued the Shattervoid girl?” Merkovah asked.

“Yes. Well, basically yes.” Everyone tensed up, but Truth waved them down again. “I disabled the spells restraining her and she carried us out...

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 4 From Siphios With Love

It took twenty minutes for the receptionist to return. Truth noticed that, regrettably, she did not have any coffee. Worse, she was also giving him a distinctly odd look. Well hidden, but he was used to spotting odd looks by now. She, apparently, was used to spotting disappointment.

“Sorry for the long delay, Mr. Wells. Good news on the coffee though.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. Instead of a paper cup of our cafeteria’s workhorse blend, you will be enjoying three cups of the fi...

Slumrat Rising Vol. 5 Chap. 3 Rain, Rain, Go Away

Truth raced the sunset into the big city on the river. His road atlas claimed, to Truth’s deep suspicion, that the name of the town was “The Hot Male Side of the Shang River.” Which was clearly stupid on several levels, not least of which being that the river (according to that same road atlas) was called the Han.

I think we need to work on our Onis more. This is dumb.

<<Literal translations can be misleading. You have shepherded people, but how often have...