AuthorPalt

Tutorial Rewrite 39

I’m sitting on the floor, He’s sitting on a tiny chair. Somehow, we’re at the same eye level. I don’t like it.

After a minute or so, the army starts moving again, slowly. I’d like to enjoy the scenery but I can’t allow myself to look weak in front of this stupid priest.

The stumps of my feet are itching. I need to do something about them.

After a few minutes, he pulls out a book out of nowhere and starts reading. In the meanwhile, I’m going to see if my meditat...

Tutorial Rewrite 38

This is… Is this…?

Does this mean that I was supposed to get caught by the army? Or would I still have gotten this if I killed them all? More importantly, since I was the last one to get dragged out of the forest, does that mean that I technically completely cleared the stage? I mean, really, you don’t get into the secret bonus stage unless you did something right, so…

Whoopie, I’m gonna beat the super secret hidden true boss! I’m such an awesome gamer! Take <...

Tutorial Rewrite 37

The second I receive the message that he’s dead, I leap away from his corpse, dodging another stab by mere millimetres.

The priest is only a few feet away from me. Can I get him? Should I escape instead? Will he—

The priest points at me with his ring finger. Now that I look at his hand, he’s got a ring on each finger. I wonder that that’s abou-,

<Curse.>

…Okay?

An arrow whizzes towards me and I leap on top of the fallen commander’s liza...

Tutorial Rewrite 36

Now, which way is the exit again? I’m pretty sure it should be towards the hut, but I’m not entirely sure, it could really be any wa-,

No. It’s in the direction of the hut.

There’s… there’s a lot of goblins appearing from just beyond it. I can smell them. It smells as though they’re spawning in, but I think it’s more that they’re entering the designated forest area. You see, there was an invisible barrier keeping me inside a certain area, but that’s un...

Tutorial Rewrite 35

Oooh, nice! Now that I think about it, I haven’t checked my stats in a while…

<Top—Status—Community>

<PrissyKittyPrincess

Human Level 11

Strength: 19

Agility: 25

Stamina: 29

Magic Power: 20>

There it is. Not too shabby, if I have to say so myself. I still hate my username, but I think I’m starting to get used to it. If I just delude myself into thinking everything’s okay, then there are no worries! Hakuna Matata and all t...

Tutorial Rewrite 34

As I have come to learn, a good sneak attack is worth more than any ally. Dropping down from above and biting and tearing up the level six’s throat quicker than she can even try to scream is so effective it’s almost scary. In seven seconds flat, she’s dead.

<You have learned:

Fang Lv.7>

<You have learned:

Bite Lv.6>

<Goblin (Lv.6) Defeated.>

And the one goblin left is so startled by my appearance that he doesn’t even have time to r...

Tutorial Rewrite 33

<Goblin (Lv.7)>

There’s a goblin standing right there, by the entrance to the woods. He’s holding a torch and nothing else, and I’m pretty sure it’s a guy because of the mane and the build. To preface, I didn’t exactly have time to put the goblin’s head into my inventory before this guy popped up, so I’m still holding it like a football in both hands.

Uhh… It’s not what it looks like?

The head disappears from my hands and into my inventory.

The ...

Tutorial Rewrite 32

One of them is silently weeping, and the other is staring unblinkingly at the third one that pissed itself. It’s almost a little funny, I mean, they’re just mob enemies. Is this another test of one's resolve? If that’s the case, then it’s really not needed.

Standing up from my hunched position, I walk over to them. Let’s see here, which should be which, hmmm… Eanie, Meanie, minie… Mo!

My finger falls on the one on the right. It’s staring at me, unflinching. Is that...

Tutorial Rewrite 31

Awestruck, staring at the stars, I completely forget about the fact that I could smell smoke. Hm. Smoke. Stars are fire, but where’s the smoke? Isn’t that weird? Don’t you say no smoke without fire? How strange.

…Oh, yeah, smoke!

Smoke, smoke, smoke… Ah, there! A pace or so away, right next to a shiny, moonstruck lake, I can see a plume of smoke, slowly rising into the sky. And if I take a deeper whiff, I can tell that all three of my targets are right there. How conveni...

Tutorial Rewrite 30

<You have learned:

Butcher Lv.4>

My first attempt is, uh, not quite a success. But halfway through the skinning part, after I’d grown desperate enough to use my teeth, I got this skill, so, uh, semi-success, I guess?

<You have learned:

Fang Lv.1>

And then, almost exactly when I finished up fully with the first one, I got it.

<You have learned:

Claw Lv.1>

It isn’t much, but it’s enough.

Butchering the four tiny bodie...

Tutorial Rewrite 29

Normally, when you kill something in a game, it drops what it owns. But if I did that now, it might not drop its stuff. Let’s see here… A set of clothes that are too big, a small pouch of colourful rocks that seem to be painted, a letter written in a language I can’t read, a crudely carved wooden animal, a small ring, and similar. I grab all of it and put it in my inventory. Hm, now that I think about it, in games, goblin-ears and goblin-fingers and goblin-noses and goblin-eyes can some...

Tutorial Rewrite 28

Oh, uh, um, I was just, ah…

He takes a step towards me and with an agility I didn’t know I had I pull out the final bit of the sword, leaping through the air and forming myself into a ball as I do, hitting the ground in the perfect fetal position.

And from a worm’s perspective, I have an interesting view of how the big goblin starts looking around, startled, without even the slightest indication that he might know where I am. For some reason, I had hoped I’d never need to ...

Tutorial Rewrite 27

I feel it before I smell it. Soft grass beneath my bloody, bare feet.

I smell it before I taste it. A waft of pollen in the air, fresh flowers, earth.

I taste it before I hear it. The slightest hint of fresh fruit, touching my tongue before fluttering away.

I hear it before I see it. Birdsong, wind rustling the treetops, off in the distance, barking, and the sound of children laughing.

And now my eyes open.

It’s a forest. A luscious, green, fresh, earthy, massi...

Tutorial Rewrite 26

By searching around on the community boards, I’m quickly able to find the following post. I don’t know how trustworthy it is considering that it was uploaded by these guys, but, you know. Still.

<OrthodoxPox[F3]: Information From

The Guild Of Representatives.

It has recently come to our attention

that some doubt the justification of

our presence. This is a ridiculous notion

based not in fact, but rather on some

superstitious idea that everyone ...

Tutorial Rewrite 25

He and his lies must be quelled! Now that I’ve beaten the second floor, I will waste no time to disprove his falsities and explain how best to defeat this floor!

Like a wrathful God, I get to typing.

<PrissyKittyPrincess[F3]: a REAL guide

2 floor 2 (BY A REAL GAYMER NO H8ERS ALLOWD)>

welcome back frends JUS KIDDING welcom back H8TRZ

ok now that all da H8ATRS r gone hers da guide

2 totally clear da stage u need 2 eat all da ladies

an kill all d...

Tutorial Rewrite 24

The very second I reappear in the lobby, I fly to my feet.

My eye twitches.

WHITE. There is WHITE all around me. WHITE pillars, WHITE floor, WHITE sky…

It makes my stomach flip. But, thankfully, now, I know just how to deal with it.

I’m so happy Bleeding Protection doesn’t completely stop me from bleeding or I wouldn’t be able to make the lobby livable. I don’t think I could stay in here for a whole 24 hours if it wasn’t RED.

Since I’ve already done...

Tutorial Rewrite 23

I’m not at home anymore. Mum isn’t here.

Dad isn’t here.

Sis isn’t here.

They don’t care about this.

They never cared, because

they don’t love me,

and they never have.

They hate me and

I hate them.

“And the new World Champion of

Tendrils of Magic and Madness is…

LetsFraternizeTogether!”

Cheering.

Horrible, grating, loud, addictive Cheering.

But not for me.

It was never for me.<...

Tutorial Rewrite 22

No, it isn’t just a door, it’s… It’s my door.

But we moved out of that house when I was like nine, why would…?

<You have learned:

Heat Tolerance Lv.10>

<You have learned:

Heat Resistance Lv.1>

Yeah, that’s… man, it is hot. It feels like my skin’s on fire, and still I’ve got Heat Resistance. No pun intended, but it really does feel like I’m standing in front of the door to Hell. Except that it’s my...

Tutorial Rewrite 21

With a strange sort of worldwearyness, I return to eating flowers. I can deal with the poisonous and hallucinogenic ones pretty well, but some cause really exotic symptoms that my resistances basically have to work together to counterattack. Lady number 667 has a nerve toxin that makes you unable to feel your tongue, and since it doesn’t exactly work as a normal poison it doesn’t trigger my poison protection but rather my paralysis tolerance. If it hadn’t evolved into Paralysis...

Tutorial Rewrite 20

<Top—Status—Community>

<00:37:37

Day 61>

<The fourth attempt will begin in

29:23:23:23>

I raise my eyes from the clock. In front of me, a near-endless path overgrown with flowers of all sizes and colours stretches out. I’d better get to it, then.

Maybe I should call myself lucky that I was in such a state upon arriving here, because instead of already standing in a huge patch of ladies, there’s a small bald spot where I’ve alread...

Tutorial Rewrite 19

My sister stands in front of me. She’s crying. I say something. She cries harder. Mum comes in and hugs her. She doesn’t hug me. It makes me say something else. Mum makes a conflicted face. I don’t say anything after that. My sister says something. I didn’t like it. I raise my hand to her. But mum is in the way. My dad comes in. He screams. At me. At my sister. At mum. I feel horrible. It makes me want to make them feel horrible, ...

Tutorial Rewrite 18

When I appear once more, the world is in colour. Beautiful, nuanced, exotic, intricate, wonderful, Faustian colour.

I am in a large pass, right in the bowels of a tall ravine, taller than the hill, too tall and too steep to climb. High above, the blue, blue, blue, blue sky smiles down at me. I can’t see any sun but it isn’t important. It’s blue. I love blue. Blue is my favourite colour. I’ve always loved blue. It’s so melodic, and harmonic, and symphonic. Just a beautiful colo...

Tutorial Rewrite 17

There’s a long pause in the chat as they obviously deliberate my very serious injustice, and another minute or so passes most likely as one of them hurries to fix this most grave of offences, possibly by executing the offending parties.

Another minute goes by.

<JustAPrankBro[F5]: OxO>

<HuppiGupp[F10]: thats… uhh… wow>

<TalonsOfRage[F4] …>

Hm? That’s a pretty weird respo—

<PrissyKittyPrincess[F2] has been removed from the cha...

Tutorial Rewrite 16

<OrthodoxPox[F3]: Always happy to hear it,

PrissyKittyPrincess. I will invite you in just a moment,

and I hope to see you in the chatrooms soon.

Thank you for the audience,

Hell Representative.

By the way, do you have a

name or title you would rather be referred to by?>

I almost want to shed a tear.

<PrissyKittyPrincess[F2]:

call me…

Hell Representative Gentle Night…>

Leaning back, a relaxed, joyous grin easily ...

Tutorial Rewrite 15

<Time Until Floor 2 Opening:

28:23:59:59>

So it really did circle all the way back to a month, huh? Well, it’s not like I can die in the lobby, so who cares. With a wave of the hand, the window disappears. I look back at the normal window.

<Top—Status—Community>

<00:00:01

Day 32>

<The third attempt will begin in

28:23:59:59

Floor 2 will open in

28:23:59:59>

With a few scrolls and pokes, I’m back to the...

Tutorial Rewrite 14

Checking a few of the other threads yields the same results. A lot of questions, very few concrete answers. How many floors are there? “Eat a boot.” Which starter weapon is the best? “Whichever your mum prefers.” How do I effectively get stronger? “Go die.” In other words, it’s a very standard forum. More importantly though, all of it is in Korean. It reads like it was written by a native, but I doubt that this accurately reflects the actual state of things. Even in the Hell Lob...

Tutorial Rewrite 13

Isn’t that, uh, really overpowered? Like, that’s the kind of skill that’d get nerfed in the next patch because of all the complaints! Fetal position blowover…

Um… Do I really have to go into the fetal position to use it? I mean, isn’t that a bit, I dunno… pathetic?

<The God of Cowardice snickers.>

Y-, you’re still here?! I thought you’d stay on the first floor or something! Well, then again, I’m not sure what he is at all, so… Yea...

Tutorial Rewrite 12

I awaken with a startle.

Wh-, where am I?! Did I win? Did I kill the leopard? Did I greet him?!?

Haah, haah, haah, haah…

This is… This is the lobby, right? Yeah, with that eternal whiteness and the pillars and the…

—My body. My body feels fine. It-, it even feels good! I’m-, I’m okay! My teeth are back, and all of my fingers are here, and my tongue, oh, I never thought I’d miss my tongue, and my palms, and my feet, oh, this is…!

...

Tutorial Rewrite 11

That’s… That’s good… Yeah… I’m strong now… Way stronger than a leopard… Eat my ass, feline miscreant…

<Top—Status—Community>

<PrissyKittyPrincess

Human Level 6

Strength: 9

Agility: 15

Stamina: 16

Magic Power: 16>

…No level clear message, huh… Guess I really do have to climb up to the top of the hill…

Tiredly, I push the leopard’s body off of me. By this point, I think my entire outfit is brownish r...

Tutorial Rewrite 10

<Wolf (Lv. 7) [BOSS]>

My internal mental processes speed up into a blur.

According to the clear conditions, I don’t have to defeat these creatures. I just need to get to the top of the hill. If I run with all my might and get to the jagged rocks they will no longer be able to pursue me. It wouldn’t be any trouble. None at all.

…But what if the next floor has a massive load of enemies? What if all of the enemies are level 20 while I’m still level 0? I need to su...