AuthorPalt

A Gamer's Guide 199

It takes a second or so to reel from the realization that I won’t actually have to kill him, at which point I hastily blurt out, “I need you to agree to join the Evil Claw pirates.”

“To join the—” Turning back to me, he stares me right in the face, waiting for me to drop the act. After a few seconds of staring at me, he chuckles bitterly. “You’re actually serious. And what then, genius?”

Strange question, but… “And then, you remain a pirate.”

“And y...

A Gamer's Guide 198

I carry Vann over to our ship, avoiding the uncertain looks from the younger members of the crew. I’m sure I could explain it away by saying that humans have a biological craving for goblin meat or something, but I don’t want to taint their impressionable brains too much, so I simply tell them I’ve got a rumbly in my tumbly that no greenberry pudding is going to cure.

With my permission granted, I carry Vann down to the hold below deck. It’s cold as usual, a pair of dragonheart-...

A Gamer's Guide 197

He grumbles something at me about this being terribly unfair before making the two hostages follow us up back onto deck. Going by smell, I can tell that everyone is gathered all nice and tidy in the common area. Perfect.

Without any hesitation, I head there, Nazzo following behind me, only marginally less unhappy than his captives.

The common area is surprisingly quiet, even before I open the door and head inside. Since the room serves as both a relaxation and dining area, it’s ...

A Gamer's Guide 196

With an unwilling but submitted Nazzo on top of my shoulder, I head down into the hull. I would’ve been more wary of a possible ambush if I hadn’t been able to smell exactly what was going on down there. Going by the scents of metal and weapons, I was dealing with seven guards, two civilians, one mage, and… a human. Yeah, a human.

And you’d think this would explain the whole familiar scent deal, but it actually doesn’t. The familiar scent is up in the captain...

A Gamer's Guide 195

Days turn into weeks. I have it good.

For one, I get to experience my first real pillaging. It was exciting. Suddenly everyone was so serious, being fully aware that any of us could die. People seemed to know their roles, but few felt truly comfortable in them. A general rule of thumb was to leave as many people alive as possible since they were valuable hostages, though anyone with rebellious intent or actual combat power had to be dispatched swiftly. I didn’t mind it in the least. A...

A Gamer's Guide 194

My eyes slowly move over the message.

…I’m on the twenty-second floor now, huh? That explains what the god of cruelty was on about. This.

A warm hand rubs my shoulder and I look to see Scar, still looking at me, his fatherly worry shining through an appropriately scarred face. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Across the table, through mouthfuls of gruel, Nazzo pipes up, “Yeah, what did the thing say? Does it say something funny?”

I look away from N...

Art made by a real artist!

It’s true!

A Gamer's Guide 193

The rest of the day passed quietly. We had lunch, and I enjoyed some goblin cuisine for the first time in a while. I tried to tell Coda how I didn’t need to eat, but he forced food onto me, so I really didn’t have any choice. The eel stew was good, though, and when I tried to give compliments to the chef, Coda just said ‘Thank you!’ for some reason.

Then, I was finally given a proper station. Tar-duty. The other goblins pitied me for it, which I didn’t understand even...

A Gamer's Guide 192

“Kitty’s awake and fully healed!” Coda exclaims loudly to the gathered crew members. Now that I’m counting them, there are actually only nine of them. Can you really have an entire ship with only ten people to operate it? Is that even possible? Either way, the average level is nineteen, which is pretty damn high. More importantly, their reaction to me is very mixed. A few are celebrating, others are neutral, and a few are looking at me as though I personally killed their puppy. Well, ...

A Gamer's Guide 191

I jolt awake, lungs burning from the fact that I’m miraculously alive. I do a quick inventory check—conscious: yep. Arms: still there: Legs, back. Ribs: in their places. All five senses: up and running.

I’m alive. I think. To ensure that I’m fully operational, I engage all five senses in turn. I can feel a blanket on top of me, and something coarse but bed-like below me. I can hear the creaking of a ship. I can taste the half-hardened tar sludge still coating the inside of my ow...

Various thingies

Totally unrelated to anything that may or may not be going on, yup yup yup

Various drawings and sketches

I be out here drawin. Will try to get back into writing soon. Unfortunately I got ADD and Autism and my brain randomly decided it was time to spend all hours of the day researching the french revolution. Send help. If anyone is interested in doing a Misery, I’m in (as long as there’s no bodily mutilation and you don’t force me to write the story to your tastes specifically). That’s all for now, I’ll see y’all around!

A Gamer's Guide 190

I come to, already standing in the lobby. H—how long have I been here?

<Top—Status—Community>

<00:03:32

Day 550>

<The nineteenth attempt will begin in

20:23:56:28>

<The twenty-first floor will open in

23:56:28>

…Not very long, apparently. Ignoring all of that—

<You have been given:

Don’t-Worry-About-It! Lv.MAX>

Is that…?

<[Don’t-Worry-About-It! Lv.MAX]

Has the same de...

A Gamer's Guide 189

…What the heck just happened?

<You have cleared the twentieth floor.>

<You have received 1 000

points for clearing the floor.

You have received an additional

1 000 points for being the first to clear

the floor.>

<For clearing the stage completely,

you will receive an additional reward.>

<To repay your debt,

the additional reward has been

traded for 5 000 points.>

<54 Gods have shown a positive...

A Gamer's Guide 188

I almost throw the thing away. It’s weird. It’s wrong. Don’t ask me for that. I can’t save you—I can’t save anyone. Please stop expecting things from me that I can’t give you.

But I can’t bring myself to drop him. I can’t even bring myself to behead him like I was going to.

Instead, I just grumble a couple of curses a child really shouldn’t hear, and lean in closer to his face, or, more specifically, to his eye. “Keep still,” I growl at him. Painfu...

A Gamer's Guide 187

The world shifts harshly and the ground beneath my feet sways, catching me just before I can tumble ass-over-kettle. As soon as I’m able to stand upright again, the smell of ash and cinders hits me like a truck.

Squinting, I take a look around me. This place… has probably seen better days.

It seems to me that just a few days ago—no, hours, this place was a small village. Like, really small. I can count a maximum of a dozen used-to-be houses, now little more than cha...

A Gamer's Guide 186

And just like that, I’m back in the lobby. Paint, paint, paint...

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Since your magic is dumb and useless, I have no need for it, and will therefore be—

<The Goddess of Children

pleads for the assistance of

Hell Challenger Lo Fennrick.>

I… what? Wait, who are you? Goddess of children?

Now listen here, lady, I’m not one to go and tell other people their busines...

A Gamer's Guide 185

I arrive in the lobby. WHITE, WHITE, WHITE. The standard, that is.

<To repay your debt,

your inventory has been sold

for 32 points.>

<Current debt:

166 001 points.>

Considering what it should have sold, that feels like a strangely small amount.

…Suddenly, this silence feels a bit overwhelming. I only spent like five days constantly surrounded by people, but… No, not people. Moleman. Five days in the presence of a friend, and n...

A Gamer's Guide 184

“Hey Kitty!”

I jerk out of a state I hope was meditation. Who—huh? Oh! Standing up, I wave at Moleman as he approaches on his simple bike. “What took you so long, man? I thought I was going to fall asleep!”

Stopping a pace or two away, Moleman folds out the bike’s leg to park it. “Sorry, it was a bit harder than I expected to shake people off. After the first hour or so, people wanted to party, not search for some common crook, so I had to pull the old ‘he may ...