For three hours, Momo was silent.
Speechless was the better word. Grimli doted after her like a worried mother, constantly asking her if she needed anything – tea, coffee, an inspirational theme song – but she just nodded mutely. In truth, she was paralyzed. Fighting off upstart mortal idiots like Nia was one thing, but she’d done this to herself. She was the one who promoted Sera, indirectly, to godhood.
And now she was paying the consequences.
She sighed dee...
2023-06-29 10:04:55 +0000 UTC
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Grimli, who would never turn down an opportunity to educate, led Momo to a small pit stop – a statue of Guinevere herself, shining in marble; it was hidden away in a gated garden just behind the city’s temple.
“Just through here,” Grimli said, following the icicle-shaped imprints in the ground like a hunter tracking prey. The more pious the priest, the bigger the icicles in his shoe, Grimli wisely deduced. If they simply followed the footsteps of the devout, it wouldn’t take l...
2023-06-27 14:21:58 +0000 UTC
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As their carriage ambled along the untrodden road towards Snowdrop Village, a courier whizzed in through the side of the vehicle, landing in Momo’s land with a plop. She looked at it quizzically; she was just about to inspect Lione’s letter before its intrusion, but given it could be a message from Sumire, she put the envelope aside and took a look at the parchment instead.
Congratulations! For showcasing an unparalleled amount of artistry in your ...
2023-06-26 10:12:51 +0000 UTC
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Glad Midsommar (Happy Midsommar)!
It's Midsommar today - aka the longest day of the year. For those unfamiliar, Midsommar is a holiday in Sweden where you prance around a pole, wear flower crowns, and dance to jolly old folk songs.
As you all know, I like to alternate between what bonus Patreon stuff I post on Friday, so I'm making today Festive Art Friday - Midsomma...
2023-06-23 19:02:55 +0000 UTC
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Momo gagged, clawing her fingers around her throat. A tinny, metallic flavor melted across her tongue. Blood. Nausea overcame her as she hit the platform. In the small window of vision that remained, she could see Slythorn angrily leap from the stage and disappear past the crowds, shoving people aside as she vanished into the woods.
“Wait,” Momo moaned hoarsely, her trembling hand reaching out towards the woman.
I have so many questions.
But Ni...
2023-06-22 18:25:47 +0000 UTC
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Desmond had a knife in his kneecap before he could even shimmy his hips.
Slythorn rolled her eyes as the boy collapsed, the bell dinged, and Devola certified the match over. The whole ordeal gave Momo very little time to regain her strength. She was already being ushered towards the stage before it had been wiped clean of Desmond’s blood.
“Show ‘er what you’re made of, your highness,” Grimli said, tugging on the back of Momo’s cloak as she limped onto the stage. “And...
2023-06-21 18:22:02 +0000 UTC
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Momo awoke hazily and slowly, her head pounding. As things came into focus, she saw the faces of four attentive medics watching over her; her fingers wrapped around the soft cotton mat beneath her. She was in the same medical tent as before, only now it appeared that she was the patient.
“She’s awake,” the White Mage sighed, relief obvious in her voice. “Good. Culver, you can talk to her now. But keep your voice down. She’s still recovering.”
He’s alive. Mom...
2023-06-20 14:39:48 +0000 UTC
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A storm from the south began to rustle in as the match began. It was as if Mother Nature herself had come to accompany the dour mood, like a conductor to an angsty orchestra.
Rain poured down and neither boy made any sudden movements, opting instead to simply shift their weight back and forth rhythmically, appeasing the dancing requirement. The two were sizing each other up. Culver had studied Trent’s brutal rise to the top and knew better than to act rashly. Trent had observed Culver...
2023-06-19 07:12:22 +0000 UTC
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At the center of the scalding hot cauldron was a liquid, shimmery and red. Nara gaped at it. That’s what became of all those ingredients? It smelled like sulfur and nearly made her gag. She pressed one of her gloves to her nose, pinching the bridge of it to hold back the building nausea.
“Just a beauty, isn’t it?” Diabla sighed. “Now get me a flask.”
After Nara determined that she meant a bottle, she fetched one from the cupboards and placed it into t...
2023-06-16 11:11:01 +0000 UTC
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The subsequent rounds did nothing to improve Momo’s impression of Trent. His matches had gone from depressing to complete and utter bloodbaths. In his second round, paired against a former dance teacher, he broke both of the guy’s legs, laughed, and yelled “just try practicing more!” as the medics dragged him away into their blue-rimmed tents.
“If there was a score for humanity, he’d be getting a zero,” Momo mumbled. “Watching him fight is like watching someone ...
2023-06-15 18:53:27 +0000 UTC
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Ruler System
Admin Override: Sumire, [Chief Military Advisor]
Modeling Feature: Activated
Just as Momo was returning to her seat on the roof, she heard a faint ping in her eardrum.
Sumire…? Modeling feature? What was that all about?
Bruda – De Jure Holding
Control Rating: 70%
- 70% from Friendly relationship with Devola Wraith, Presid...
2023-06-14 18:56:46 +0000 UTC
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As the sun dawned over Bruda, light streaked across the grand stage. Hundreds upon hundreds of avid fans had slept beneath it the night before, snoring on pebbles and tree brambles until the sunlight woke them with a jolt. It was time – the Novice competition had begun.
Momo had bought popcorn (notably salted with Eldergoat Butter, which she chose not to investigate the origins of) and got the best seats in the house – up on top of the Earl’s Longhouse. It was opposite the Judges...
2023-06-13 15:41:32 +0000 UTC
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“Aw, the wee queen is blushing,” Grimli grinned. “I wonder who it could possibly be from –”
“Shut it, Grimli,” Momo said dryly, but it didn’t wipe the smile from her face.
The letter had arrived soon after Devola’s little speech. Momo had taken to the rooftop of the school for a breather and a good look at the massive crowd, only for a little pigeon to swoop down with a letter. The envelope was inked with Jarvirium’s classic insignia.
2023-06-12 14:10:25 +0000 UTC
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Careful to avoid Diabla’s many snapping piranha plants, Nara followed the demoness into her laboratory. It was a vast space – bigger than both the living room and foyer – with about as many cupboards, shelves and crates as could possibly fit, all without a speck of dust. It made Nara’s heart absolutely soar.
“I want to live here,” Nara mumbled, awe-inspired.
“Oh, let’s not rush into things now,” Diabla smirked. “You must make a girl a potion first.”<...
2023-06-09 18:26:37 +0000 UTC
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“This is hell,” Momo said quietly, reflectively. “This is genuinely hell.”
“You have no idea,” Trent said.
When Momo strolled into town three hours earlier, she had expected a normal campaign event. People huddled around town square. A couple decorations. Locals either applauding her or trying to stab her guts out. You know the drill. What she got instead was a personal invitation to something called Bruda’s Deadly Dance Recital, a new tradition in the mount...
2023-06-08 19:48:32 +0000 UTC
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Her eyes affixed to the tip of Slythorn’s bazooka, Momo yelled “[Possess]!”
She felt a pull at her navel as her soul was sucked out of her body and into the gun. She had forgotten just how weird it felt to inhabit something inanimate. It was like shoving yourself into a suitcase. Her skin became a hard, metallic shell; her head became the gun’s open barrel.
She could feel Slythorn’s fingers wrapping around the trigger, pressing down repeatedly to no avail.
“Stupi...
2023-06-07 11:23:32 +0000 UTC
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Baryte fit snugly in the vehicle’s open crater, pecking at his wings and making a polite yawning sound. It was a very cute display, something Momo would have normally sat and awww’d at, but unfortunately it represented a lack of something else – a lack of anything happening at all.
“Viktor,” she said lowly, with a petrified tone. “The bird is just sitting there.”
The Jarva loyalists had begun to slither their way through the crowd, traveling briskly and stra...
2023-06-06 14:51:35 +0000 UTC
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It turned out that the old proverb held true – everything in life starts with the chicken.
Or was it the egg?
Not the time.
Momo cleared her throat. Five thousand faces – a healthy mix of eager grins and skeptical scowls – stared at her from benches, rooftops, chimneys, coops, and street corners.
The entirety of Mole City had been summoned to hear the word of the queen, and they had come in droves. The Old Town was stuffed to the brink, every to...
2023-06-05 19:00:44 +0000 UTC
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After an exhilarating session of sponging away grime, emptying two week’s worth of trash, buffing the countertops, and cleaning mold spores out of cabinets – which Alessia insisted weren’t mold, but just furry decoration – Nara sat, pleased and exhausted, in the yard outside of Alessia’s home.
“You look thirsty,” Alessia teased, leaning down to pluck another daffodil. “Need some water?”
Nara glared at her. “And you look ridiculous picking flowers in se...
2023-06-02 10:01:42 +0000 UTC
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Viktor’s table looked like the sight of a mad scientist’s experiment. Feathers were strewn around the defunct bird in a circle, as if they had exploded off of him in a sudden rush. All that remained was a plucky skeleton which looked up at Viktor with bewilderment.
“Oh, my precious little Baryte,” Viktor mewled, scooping the boney bird into his arms. His voice was hoarse and croaky, like he had just swallowed a gallon of water down the wrong pipe. “It’s okay. Shhh. You soare...
2023-06-01 20:12:57 +0000 UTC
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With Dragon Duties to attend to, Radu was forced to return to Drachenheim for the day, leaving only Momo and her straight-jacket of a bard to anxiously chart the course towards Nam’Dal. Luckily, leaving Refuge’s End was far more straightforward than arriving, so it wasn’t long until Momo saw the familiar silhouette of the island city.
“Can you loosen your grip? You’re suffocating me,” Momo pleaded with Grimli as they approached the northern gate. His distaste for ho...
2023-05-31 19:54:40 +0000 UTC
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Congratulations! For garnering the love and affection of the public by making overly bold claims, pandering to a very specific population, and misrepresenting government funding, you have gained a level in the class [Demagogue].
[Demagogue] now occupies your second major class slot.
[Demagogue] is an intermediate class under the domain of Mordecai, God of Thievery and Deception. Since your first major class, Nether Dokkaebi, is Ex...
2023-05-30 11:50:14 +0000 UTC
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Part one in Momo’s master plan to win the hearts and minds of the public:
Public humiliation. Otherwise known as Q&A.
Cedric and Junior had attempted to enforce a queue of questions, but the mirage of civility had only lasted a few minutes before people started shouting out at random, waving their pitchforks in the air as they addressed Momo with their very specific, increasingly delusional concerns.
“Your government told my son he could become a Holy Knight, but whe...
2023-05-29 17:14:41 +0000 UTC
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With a violent crack, Nara split the muzzle’s metal cage in two, the disjointed pieces collapsing onto the floor. She could feel a faint flicker of pain rocket through her fingers, but the Starving effect blocked out every nerve ending or physical sense – everything was dull except for the Thirst.
She licked her lips. Without the muzzle, there was nothing coming between her and that delicious neck.
Everything went bright red as she dashed forward. All she cou...
2023-05-26 08:34:36 +0000 UTC
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“Is that the mechanic, Junior? She’s a bit smaller than I imagined,” Cedric said, huffing as he leaned down to grab the bricks sloshing around in the water. “Can’t imagine those arms doing much lifting.”
“Ah, no, Da, I think this is the new queen of the kingdom. The one that had Jarva running for the shores, or so they say.”
Cedric’s head turned. “That so?”
Momo blushed, trying to stand as straight and royally as possible. Her posture was still terrible...
2023-05-25 16:17:38 +0000 UTC
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Hey friends,
Due to Popular Demand™ for Vampire Potionmaker, I'm going to be changing Extra Momo Chapter Fridays into Vampire Potionmaker Fridays. This means regular weekly updating for that fiction instead of me haphazardly uploading whenever I have the time.
Here's some more cover art.
V
2023-05-24 20:12:58 +0000 UTC
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The lights were dim and the air was smoky as they settled into the packed inn. Momo wore a mask that covered both her face and horns – a reflective metal thing that drew more attention than she’d like, but less attention than if she were to go bare-faced.
It turned out that the price of queendom was celebrity, and not the fun kind.
“How are you supposed to have a drink with that ugly contraption taped to your face?” the bartender asked, his furry, rat-like face twisted up ...
2023-05-24 17:52:18 +0000 UTC
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“Well, that was a bit hard to watch,” Momo mumbled.
What remained of the knights’ dignity lay in a moaning heap of limbs. All it had taken was one round of [Maladaptive Daydreams] to have them pulling their own hair out, screaming and flailing into the prickly fence. After the effects faded, they settled into a corner of the camp, whimpering.
“That’s on you for using one of your Dokkaebi spells on a bunch of Intermediates,” Radu said, fiddling a lockpick into the camp...
2023-05-23 18:54:29 +0000 UTC
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MEKNA GAZETTE
DAY 3 OF SPRING, YEAR 2023
ALL HAIL OUR NEW QUEEN… MOMO?
Written by Kelly Kraken
Very unusual reports have spread throughout the kingdom’s newsrooms today. Riding on the heels of what Nether meteorologists are calling a cataclysmic cloud fall comes the assassination of the Prince, and the retreat of King Jarva into the Barium Sea.
This startling retreat, first reported ...
2023-05-22 16:09:49 +0000 UTC
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Hi everyone <3
As you know, we just hit the end of Momo Book 2. Thanks for all the sweet, funny and wonderful comments per usual.
I want Book 3 to be the best in the series yet. In order to make sure I get it right and allow for a little bit of planning and rest ahead of time, I'm going to give myself a few days to prepare.
As such, I will begin posting Book 3 next week on Monday the 22nd.
Thanks!
V
2023-05-17 07:29:31 +0000 UTC
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