Once Clay was fully recovered and he’d dealt with the remnants of the poison, he and Joe found the rest of the Jaeger squad. Alex, Griff, Bacon Bits, and Chonk had managed to stomp a sizeable number of Triple S. Apparently seeing that, the dregs of the merc group had decided their paycheck wasn’t worth it—especially now that there wasn’t an Incant on site to guarantee it would get paid. They’d gotten out of Dodge while they still could, probably running off to report to their shady ...
2023-09-02 17:00:01 +0000 UTC
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When the spell smoke cleared, Clay dropped onto his hands and knees on scorching hot concrete, the M4 bouncing on its tactical sling. Hissing, he jerked his hands free of the sunbaked parking lot surface. It had damn near melted the palms of his gloves.
Thermal vision wasn’t doing him any good out here. The heat waves bouncing off the ground were causing too much interference. He blinked back to regular vision, then had to squint while his eyes adjusted to that bludgeoning afternoon l...
2023-08-31 17:00:02 +0000 UTC
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The next room may have been a warehouse floor sometime before the Merge, but somewhere along the line, somebody had converted the place into a skate park. It boasted half-pipes, spines, boxes, and drops, all striped with wheel marks, and rails worn shiny from what had undoubtedly been sick grinds. A metal sign on one wall—long since weathered from age and heavily pitted with rust—read, X-Games Dew Tour! Feel the Rush!
The Triple S reinforcements had taken up positions behin...
2023-08-29 17:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Thirty-One – The Daily Grind
The next two weeks passed much the same as those first three days in the Lobby had.
Croc and I spent every waking moment grinding through new Quadrants and killing anything unlucky enough to get in our way.
That, or hauling ass away from anything that was too powerful to tangle with head on.
I spent a lot more time running than I’d like to admit.
The whole while, I mapped out different sectors, spray painted warni...
2023-08-28 18:33:11 +0000 UTC
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Despite sitting unused for over twenty years, the sludge in the sewers farther from the treatment facility was fragrant and knee-deep. It was a scent combo Clay could’ve happily lived his life without ever smelling—backed-up toilet, salty ocean, rotting garbage, dead animal, burning hair, and sugary soda. Rats the size of pit bulls skittered along the narrow walkways or swam through the sludge, beady eyes accusing the Jaeger squad of trespassing.
Chonk chittered out a warning whenev...
2023-08-26 17:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Hey everyone. Sorry for missing a post this week. I got sick as a dog (been bed ridden most of the week), though thankfully it isn't Covid. Hopefully I'll be able to get all this crud out of my system before Dragon Con. Speaking of, I'll be at Dragon Con, in Altana, which runs over Labor Day from Thursday August 31st to Monday September 4th.
If you're going to be at the event, please, please, please stop by the Shadow Alley booth in the Americas Mart (Vendor Hall) and say high. I'...
2023-08-25 17:00:06 +0000 UTC
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The Sooq’s resident apothecary—a snakeheaded naga clad in a long, ratty bathrobe that had seen better days—wasn’t too happy about being rousted out of his rack in the wee hours of the morning. That was, until he saw the gold gleaming in Clay’s hand.
There were two languages everyone in the wasteland spoke fluently. The first was violence. The second was barter. Clay had learned that there was no such thing as contentment on this side of the wall. Resources were scarce. And com...
2023-08-24 17:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Thirty – Guerilla Marketing
With the first Doorway Anchor planted, Croc and I headed back up to the Lobby to start our viral marketing campaign.
Locating a stairwell took less than half an hour thanks to Unerring Arrow, and in short order we found ourselves wandering through endlessly confusing corridors filled with gray carpet, white columns, buzzing lights, and moldy, yellow wallpaper. We emerged in a Quadrant that was a hundred miles or more away from where I...
2023-08-23 19:18:28 +0000 UTC
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Clay shook his head. Surely he hadn’t heard right. It was the lack of sleep and the frustration playing tricks on his ears. Had to be.
“Did you just say the Paths of the Dew were nonsense?”
“And I stand by it!” Diebolt rolled his huge eyes. “Those Brothers of the Dew are so clueless. Oracle of the Deep Mysteries? Ha! More like the Path of Wasting Your Time. You want the mystery summed up in one word?” he asked, voice wavering sarcastically over mystery. “T...
2023-08-22 17:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Hey everyone, I need a handful of names for Red Shirt bad guys (i.e. they will get killed off pretty quickly) in the Catacomber. If you want to be a character and don't mind being a villain who will die a brutal and probably messy death, then drop a comment below with the name you'd want to see. No promises that I'll be able to use everyone who volunteers, but I'll get a few of you for sure. And tell me what content you're from, N. America, S. America, Europe, Asia, etc.
2023-08-20 19:44:15 +0000 UTC
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That night, the Jaeger squad bedded down in a maintenance room the Brothers of the Dew used as a rec room. The space was small, but surprisingly well supplied and thankfully didn’t smell as overpoweringly of sewer as the rest of the brothers’ temporary home did.
Griff stretched out on a broken-down recliner that was leaking stuffing, while Joe and Chonk spread out their sleeping bag under an old ping pong table with chewed corners. Bacon Bits swam in a circle three times above the t...
2023-08-19 17:00:03 +0000 UTC
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When they’d agreed to do all this training, Clay hadn’t thought to ask which path he would wind up on. Apparently Abbot Rakshas hadn’t really known what to do with him, either, so they’d had to consult their Great Sage for advice. That had resulted in a hurry up and wait situation, because according to the hyena, “Only the Great Sage can know which path you must follow, Fateslinger, and we haven’t booted up the Great Sage in many years.”
Clay spent the intervening time wan...
2023-08-17 17:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Twenty-Nine – New Addition
As Croc and I exited the shop, I glanced back over one shoulder to find the familiar glass sliding door vanish in the span of three steps. One minute it was there, and the next it was like the entire store had been surgically cut out of existence—neatly removed like a cancerous tumor—leaving only a smooth expanse of tiled wall where the shop had been before.
“Well there’s something you don’t see every day,” I muttered.
<...
2023-08-16 17:00:04 +0000 UTC
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The sun was climbing the eastern side of the sky as the Jaeger squad loaded up the dune buggy and set off for Malibu.
Surprisingly, they didn’t run into any trouble while they were inside LA. The Warlord’s Blessing of the Bwner carried them through the city untouched. Clay had always heard that the Warlord of the West had the most dangerous area on US soil in an iron grip, but it was amazing to see what that really meant—nearly every creature in Los Angeles was allied with Shieldw...
2023-08-15 17:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Author Note: Heads up, everyone, I've burned through a bit of my backlog on this story, so I'll only be posting chapters twice a week for the foreseeable future. The new posting schedule will be Monday and Wednesday at 1:00 PM EST. Hope you continue to enjoy Dan and Croc's adventure through the Backrooms! c
Twenty-Eight – New Management
It took us another seven hours or so to get the rest of the store cleaned up and in working order. While we sw...
2023-08-14 17:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Nessa turned out to not only be PwnrBwner’s lieutenant but also his girlfriend. Most of the legends Clay had heard about the Merge had referred to her as “the Uberbitch,” but she was a lot nicer than the nickname let on. And around her, they got to see a surprising new side to the Warlord of the West.
During the first course at dinner, she asked, “Is it kind of stuffy in here?”
Immediately, PwnrBwner snapped his fingers at a Dragonkin in a waiter’s black-and-whites.
2023-08-12 21:00:03 +0000 UTC
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The whole time they were packing up camp, Joe kept looking over his shoulder and sighing things like “Wonder what kind of horses she’s got,” “I’d love to have fifteen minutes with her,” and “Bet she’s an eighteen-speed.”
Finally, Clay just came out and told his brother, “You ought to go ask the Warlord if he’ll let you ride with him.”
The big rust junkie’s eyes lit up, then his face fell. “No, I’m the Jaeger squad’s designated driver.” He shook hi...
2023-08-12 17:00:06 +0000 UTC
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“It is true!” Bacon Bits threw her massive blue body drunkenly in front of Clay as the blow fell. He had to jerk his head back to keep from being smacked in the face with her undulating tail. She’d been pounding fruity drinks ever since they got back from the Haunt Topic, and even in her enormous true form, she couldn’t hold her liquor any better than she had as a tiny teacup pig. “Leader of the Shieldwall Dragonkin, hic, hear me, Bacon Bits the Greater Blue Wyrm of Venge...
2023-08-12 14:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Quick note - so these last three episodes aren't quite as far along in the process. They are written, but they haven't all been to copy editing or formatting, so I don't have bookfunnel links generated yet. I'm going With that said, I'm going to resume chapter posting for the series, and because I feel behind, I'm going to do several today, starting with this one!
One - Come Out, Little Pigs
“Either the Sooq sends out the stupid mofo who started a dungeon ...
2023-08-12 12:28:24 +0000 UTC
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Twenty-Seven – Cannon Fodder
For the next several hours, Croc and I worked tirelessly, righting tipped over shelving racks, mopping up spills and blood, and disposing of bodies. There were a shocking number of bodies, though taking care of those mostly fell under Croc’s jurisdiction. The mimic enthusiastically insisted on it, actually. The dog explained that the Backrooms would eventually absorb the “physical material”—its exact words—but that it was much ea...
2023-08-11 17:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Twenty-Six – Friends Don’t Lie
It seemed like it would be difficult to pull off a reproachful look as a rubber dog with googly eyes, but somehow Croc did it off anyway.
“You’re not sick,” the dog said, not a question but a cold, hard statement of fact. “And that was no run-of-the-mill spell you just cast, Dan. That was a sequester ritual.” There was no accusation in its tone, but I could see it carved into the lines of the mimic’s face. “I’ve n...
2023-08-09 17:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Twenty-Five – Corvo’s Blanket Fort
Croc found a small treasure trove of lesser and greater Zima healing Elixirs stashed away inside one of the fridges in the pharmacy. We were just lucky they hadn’t been destroyed in the raging inferno of burning vodka like so many of the other drugs and pharmaceuticals. I knew the store itself would naturally heal over time, but I was less sure that the supplies would regenerate—especially once I cut this section off from the r...
2023-08-07 17:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Twenty-Four – The Harmacist
I knew we were in trouble the second we rushed through the door.
There were half a dozen of the crow-faced Pharmacy Techs loitering about the room, all waiting for us in ambush. Towering above them was a rail-thin figure wearing a long black cassock beneath a tattered lab coat with a bandolier studded with colorful glass orbs, which ran from shoulder to hip. Cold, black eyes regarded me and Croc through steampunk-like goggles inset in...
2023-08-04 17:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Between my hammer, the demolition screwdriver, and my newly enhanced Athleticism, I made short work of the lab-coated shithead.
I didn’t try to sneak around any of the other Techs, though. I learned my lesson once and had no plans to make that mistake again.
Instead, I followed in the wake of Croc’s murderous rampage, staying a few aisle over as the mimic drew the Tech’s out. Firebombs flew from the shadows as the disgruntled Dweller’s tried to murder the dog-bear—not th...
2023-08-02 17:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Twenty-Two – Let’s Reminiscence
I briefly considered pulling the Slammer of Shielding out of my pocket and hurling it at the floor, but I knew the spell wouldn’t activate before the thing was already inside the dome’s radius. Instead, I thrust my hammer forward and triggered Bleach Bolt. Mana rushed out from my core and exploded outward from the blunt hammerhead as though it were a magic wand instead of a contractor’s work tool. The burning ball of blue magic ...
2023-07-31 17:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Hey, y'all! Hope everyone is enjoying this story so far. Here is the third volume for you to download and read. I'll be posting individual chapters for volume four starting next week. Have a great weekend and let me know what you think of this series!
Get Wasteland Warlords - Volume 3
2023-07-28 22:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Twenty-One – MediocreMart
“I say this in love and with absolutely no disrespect, Dan,” Croc whispered as we stood outside the sliding glass doors that let into the MediocreMart, “but this is not quite as glamorous as you made it sound.”
Through the glass it was easy to see the rows of ruler-straight aisles that stretched out of sight, all loaded down with a bizarre mishmash of off-brand products. The walls were painted a faded salmon color, and they seem...
2023-07-28 17:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Here is Wasteland Warlords - Volume Two, all nice and neat and ready to download to your preferred reading device. Just click on the link below to give it a read.
“Out here, power is key. Getting it, using it, keeping it. Without power, you’re nothing but fertilizer.”
Two months ago, Clay Jaeger, his wife Alex, and his chainsaw-toting brother Joe came to the Infested Zone on a mission: kill a Dungeon Lord. What they found along the way was a land of opportun...
2023-07-27 22:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Hey guys. I intend to start posting new material in the Wasteland Warlords Saga, so I wanted to make sure that everyone is caught up. To that end, I'm going to post Episodes 1 - 3 so that you can download each one, in its entirety, to your preferred reading device. Just click the link below to download the first episode, fully edited and ready to read. Hope you enjoy it!!!
Get Wasteland Warlords - Volume 1 ...
2023-07-26 23:05:26 +0000 UTC
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Twenty – March to the Mart
We spent the better part of the next six hours putting as much distance as possible between us and the Loot Arcade, all while maneuvering through mostly empty shopping mall corridors and not-quite-so-empty storefronts. The Compass of the Catacomber made the trip as quick and painless as possible. Though, to be fair, there was still quite a bit of pain involved. Spelunker’s Sixth Sense helped me avoid more traps than I could count,...
2023-07-26 17:00:04 +0000 UTC
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