Kevin the Bored

179 Ice Is Heavy, 916.7 kg/m3 (That's A Lot)

"Neat! Wanna fight to the death?~"

Qivittoq tilts his head in response to my question, and I can almost picture the quizzical look he wears under that hood of his.

"Vat? No. Why would I vant to fight?" He asks, making me frown and give him a shrug.

"Got anything better to do?" I say as I manifest my right wing, shooting a crystalline spike of blood at him almost in the same instant.

Yet, the spike only makes it half the distance between us before his foot twitches and ...

178 First Steps Overseas

Nuuk, Greenland, January 1st, 14:12, 2009.

Turns out that to get to Greenland you have to fly to Keflavík in Iceland first and then get a flight to the capital of Greenland, Nuuk, where I am right now, which seems a little convoluted, but whatever, I can deal.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where I could find the Qivittoq?"

Like the dozen or so Greenlanders that I have already asked, the man in front of me only graces me with a panicked, fearf...

177 SEXUUU!!! 2 Electric Boogaloo

A/N: READ THIS BEFORE SKIPPING!!! IT'S IMPORTANT FOR PLOT!

I'm well aware some of you don't like smut, but the first 400-ish words are semi-important, or at least relevant for plot, I'll put a divider for when smut starts.

Also, unlike last time, this one is a lot less 'just kinky sex' if yk what I mean. This one is with Clara after all, so it's a lot less fucking weird and uncomfortable lol, it's more romantic I guess? idk, I'm a virgin.

So, while with the other one I would...

176 Striking A Deal

The walk through Toybox was an interesting one. The building seems to spit in the face of conventional physics at every opportunity it gets.

I walked through several corridors that were definitely hundreds of metres long in just a couple of steps, which only makes sense if you decide to build a corridor that molests space-time like some kind of catholic priest would a choir boy.

There were also a lot of turrets and lasers, and I'm honestly not sure if they were showing me them on ...

1 A Legend Never Dies

"Every enemy I have respected, is now dead. Which is why.. I can only apologise for respecting you so much."

The words feel so distant, like a foggy memory in the muddy waters of my mind.

What is happening? What happened?

I try to recall my last memory, but it's as if my thoughts are traveling through a thick syrup, everything feels so  slow.

"Art is an explosion."

Just like the aforementioned explosion, I feel my consciousness abr...

175 I Just Want To Talk

Some Desert, Nebraska, December 29th, 09:09.

I have discovered yet another issue that I simply forgot to think about.

See, I've been running around in this desert with my dog for at least an hour by now, but there is one vital thing I forgot to consider when searching for a giant invisible cube filled with Tinkers.

Namely, that it is invisible.

So while I am sure that it's in the general area, it's not like they're just gonna open up an...

174 Backtracking Cuz I Forgot A Thing

Louisville, Kentucky, December 29th, 04:27.

I used to think of myself, James and Chibi, maybe May too as something of a disjointed, messed up family, but after visiting the Vasil household, I've come to the conclusion that our relationship is basically just normal.

Seriously, it was an effort and a half to keep them from physically trying to kill each other! Jean-Paul kept manipulating his sibling's bodies and Aroa would just blast everyone and then hide behind my legs.

And ...

173 Interlude: Cherie Vasil 2 Electric Boogaloo

Walking into the main living room where the rest of her family is gathered, at least the powered ones, Cherie does her best to control her emotions.

Only Sam and her father can actually sense emotions like she can, and while she doesn't care about her ten year old brother's opinions, Cherie certainly doesn't want her father to know of the emotional turmoil she just faced.

That would not end well. He'd use it against her, twisting her music until she can't recognise it anymore. Luc...

172 Interlude: Cherie Vasil

Montreal, Canada, December 27th, 18:12.

𝘉𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Inside of a multi-millionaire's mansion, hidden away on a small peninsula in the South-West of Montreal, a slim, attractive young woman can be seen, staring unenthusiastically at the massive and modern television mounted on the wall in front of her.

Like the television, the rest of the room is similarly opulent, filled with white furniture that is lined in gold, the very sofa she is lounging on being worth a y...

171 Preparing to Make Friends

Driving a freshly stolen car from New York up to Montreal turned out to be a shorter trip than I expected it to be; maybe it's just because I was crossing the border to a different country, but I really thought it would take longer than just a few hours by car.

Alas, I'm hardly going to complain about less time in transit. The only troublesome part was crossing the border, because I kind of forgot that border control exists, but a quick deposit of a hundred grand was enough to waive tho...

170 The End of Fate

I-5, Oregon, December 26th, 16:14.

"𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴?"

Across the country, thousands of people heard the woman's words from her broadcasted trial. The only ones she spoke at all, not that the trial was a particularly long one.

It took less than half an hour for Selene to be sentenced to the Birdcage after she entered the co...

169 Interlude: Nice Christmas Poe

Oakland, California, December 24th, 19:47.

"-Listen, all I'm saying, is that if you 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 sleeping with her-" "Which I'm not," "-right but if you 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦, then that would be totally okay! So she's a little quirky, and maybe a little obsessed, but she could be worse, and frankly you're getting too old to be picky."

Sighing at his old friend's words, Poe continues his patrol, wondering if a PRT Director should really have so much free time that she can bother his...

168 Interlude: I'm Having Too Much Fun With This

Oakland, California, December 20th, 12:21.

Inside of a spacious training room, the sounds impacts and thuds sound out continuously as a pair of woman fight inside of a ring.

Both of them are wearing the same sports outfit of tight shorts and a sports bra, allowing their well defined bodies to be on full display.

In the middle of the ring, stands Selene in a relaxed position, her raised arms being the only indication that she is ready to fight.

Contrary to her casual st...

167 Interlude: Guess, Poe Subplot is Going Strong

Oakland, California, December 12th, 16:50.

As the early sun sets, a city of peace explodes into a sudden chaos.

In fourteen separate locations, groups of men and woman burst into a sudden riot. Looting, breaking and destroying everything they come across.

At the same time, the police and PRT mobilise en masse, every Hero, including the Wards, move in synchronisation to quell the sudden flames of chaos.

However, there is one spot of peace, where a woman of ethereal beau...

166 Interlude: Poe Poe Poe

Oakland, California, December 12th, 15:26.

Inside of a PRT meeting room, the city's five Heroes can be seen holding a meeting, including Poe, despite him being a member of the Guild and not the Protectorate.

The number of Heroes is rather low considering the size of the city, but Poe is more than enough that assigning anymore would be a waste of recourses. Instead, Oakland is one of the cities Wards are most likely to be assigned, do to it's relatively peaceful climate making it a...

165 Interlude: Poe 2 Electric boogaloo

Oakland, California, December 5th, 00:23.

It's been four days since he spoke with that strange woman Selene, and despite himself, he has taken her advice, keeping an eye out for this 'peripetia' of his, but so far there has been nothing of note, except for a slight increase in crime.

However despite not speaking with her since then, Poe is pretty sure that he's seen her about, but she seems to disappear every time he tries to approach her.

He's even spoken with Director Simm...

164 Interlude: Poe

Oakland, California, December 1st, 18:36.

Oakland is a shithole, or rather, it 𝘸𝘢𝘴 a shithole.

However, after nearly a decade of hard work, Poe is proud to say that Oakland is now the city to be in California.

It certainly wasn't easy, the city was already in shambles before Kyushu was sunk across the sea, the after effects of which only made a bad situation worse over here on the West coast.

But he had done it.

Years and years of patrolling, of fighting...

163 Twenty Questions (Gone Wrong!)

Shaking my photo of the supermarket, I take a moment to admire it. It looks like an album cover. Well, anything can look like an album cover, especially when in an abandoned genocide town.

Moving on, I walk deeper into the lair of the beast, far less concerned than I probably should be. It takes about a minute of walking in silence before I wonder why no one is asking me any questions.

Turning around to face the three behind me, I pause my stroll and raise a silent brow in questio...

162 Meeting a Tour Guide

Eagleton, Tennessee, November 28th, 17:33.

It is surprisingly difficult to find a good fanny-pack. It's almost like they're not fashionable or something.

But if I'm playing tourist, then it's only natural that I'd have a fanny-pack to go with my Hawaiian shirt and tan cargo shorts.

After getting back to Uppercrust, Clara in hand, we had our little chat, talking a lot of numbers, very boring stuff, but needs a must and all that jazz.

After that, it was just a case of ta...

161 Unexpected Side-Quest

It's as I'm pulling into Albany with my new truck that I 'found' on the road and decided to 'borrow' for the sake of hiding all the little gremlin creatures that I captured.

I only got the small ones, with the first of them being the tallest at three foot, so it's not like I couldn't have carried them all on my bike, but that's a little bit too obvious even for me.

So instead I found this truck and put the bike in the back, with the dozen or so gremlins I caught being held down in...

160 This is My Kingdom Come

There is no cry to arms or order given, the creatures around us simply burst into motion at the same instant, each of them screaming a foul rage as they charge us down, frothing at the mouth.

A blue naga-looking thing launches itself at me, its snake-like mouth that matches it's lower half opened wide with fangs ready to pierce my skull.

I simply hold out a hand and catch it by the snout, halting its momentum with ease before carelessly tossing it to the side at another lunging cr...

159 Meeting a King (Briefly)

Ellisburg, New York, November 25th, 05:46.

How long even is a power nap supposed to be anyway? I only really sleep once a week, or after sex anyway, so it's not like I take naps, and I usually sleep for at least half a day when I do.

Ah well, doesn't matter.

I made sure to park my bike a good distance away, because I get the feeling that Dragon won't be so ready to just let me go this time. Pastor was just a potential Class-S threat after all, Nilbog is very much on the list...

HxH: Authority

So, I've had a few people asking me about what I'll be doing after the current fic, and I just got randomly motivated to write this one-shot, so here's a peak at one of the ideas I have.

It's based in HxH obviously, and while the story doesn't really have a plotline set yet, the idea is that the guy will be a specialist with the hatsu to basically give commands, what you see in this one-shot is like, end of the story levels of power, but yeah, fun.

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Staring at the Ant...

158 Ramifications

Boston, Massachusetts, November 24th, 20:08.

Whistling a jaunty tune as I walk through the streets of Boston even as smoke and fire rise to the sky behind me, I can't help but feel glad for Fast Travel, because Freedom is literally on the opposite side of the country from Ellisburg.

And considering that I might have slightly failed in the original plan of being quick and quiet with the cultists, I figure It's best I get to Ellisburg as quick as possible.

But the closest arca...

157 Rapture

Bursting out from another explosion of blue, I crash into a barrier, as it seems that only my claws can break through them in any reasonable amount of time.

But before I can do so, my body is yanked to the side by another implosion, which is starting to get annoying. At the same time, I see one man pointing all of his fingers at me, from which ten small beams of energy pierce towards me, while at the same time another man to his side holds both hands over the centre of his chest, from w...

156 Fifth Comes Death.

A/N:....I might have gotten a bit carried away... I was listening to anime fight music...

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I don't even get to finish admiring the scenery of pandemonium before a man in white robes suddenly appears before me. His skin, like the girls earlier, is covered in cracks that glow with an eldritch blue energy, like his soul is too much for his flesh to handle.

Faster than I can properly react to, he swings an uppercut straight at my chin, and I only just manage to form my armour ...

155 Holiday Plans

A/N: for those that already read it before the edit, I forgot a line, it's only one line, but it's like the cool one liners in movies, so it's semi-important. It's right at the end, so without spoilers you can find it after she sets off the party :)

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Freedom, California, November 23rd, 22:56.

Getting a tattoo is difficult when your skin is harder than steel. Luckily for me, I discovered another new thing my power is capable of.

See, my nails are still black, and I ...

154 Interlude: Everyone Loves Clowns

Boston, Massachusetts, November 17th, 16:09.

Accord likes things to be in order.

Though, many would likely consider that to be a vast underestimation. Because Accord does not just like things to be in order, he 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 it to be.

He tries to control his obsessive behaviour when it would be inconvenient to act upon, but no matter how aware he may be of his problem, that doesn't change the fact that disorder 𝘪𝘳𝘬𝘴 him like nothing else.

Plenty of m...

153 Walpurgis Banquet 2 Electric Boogaloo

"Ok then!" I exclaim as I take a gavel out from my pocket that I stole from some judge for the exact purpose of banging it on the table right now, after which I just carelessly throw it out of the window behind me, "now that everyone is here, I officially commence the first ever of this very important, super serious meeting!~"

In the ensuing silence that follows my statement, a gust of wind blows in from through one of the large window, disturbing one of the piñatas hanging from the ce...

152 Walpurgis Banquet

A/N: I'll add a map, so don't worry about remembering who's where.

Also, I can't figure out how to make the images smaller so... sorry I guess

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Olympic Mountains, Washington, November 15th, 14:41.

The time has finally come.

It is finally, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 time to commence the first ever proper Clown meeting, pending a better name.

I'm the only one here right now, having been the one to call the meeting into order in the first place, whic...