TRS - Casefile #0124: Exeunt
LEX LUTHOR: I don't care! You FIND him, and bring him to me!
EDWARD: Oh, I hope he means me.
LEX LUTHOR: YOU. Do you have ANY idea what you've done?
EDWARD: Ohoho, you have NO idea!
LEX LUTHOR: You killed my top man in nanotechnology! The BACKBONE of the Brainiac Resistance Program!
EDWARD: And his wife too, but I don't think you care about that. I wonder if couple's coffins are still a thing?
LEX LUT...
2017-10-26 16:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0123: House Call
EDWARD: One more step - before I see the big man. (knocks on a door, whistles)
CAROL ELLIS: (opens the door) Can I help you?
EDWARD: Is Samuel in?
CAROL ELLIS: Of course! Please - come in.
EDWARD: Thank you kindly.
(Door closes behind EDWARD)
CAROL ELLIS: Samuel? There's - someone here to see you.
DOCTOR ELLIS: Thank you dear, I - Edward.
EDWARD: Doctor! Just the man I wanted to see.
2017-10-26 15:00:03 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0122: Deal
EDWARD: (outside) Hm. Surprisingly cosy, given the circumstances. (knocks on a heavy door) We had an appointment. Open the door.
(Door opens. EDWARD enters the building)
EDWARD: Much better. Well, this is less cosy. Evening Ma'am, you're looking frigid. (laughs) Ahh, the good doctor himself.
VICTOR FRIES: What do you want, Edward Nygma?
EDWARD: My, what a lovely home you have. I just adore the - accoutrements...
2017-10-26 14:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0121: Gemini
EDWARD: Well. It would seem I have been put in a rather difficult predicament. As you no doubt heard from the security footage LexCorp was good enough to allow me to hack from their database. While I was free to leave Metropolis General, there are now armoured guards surrounding my abode. I wouldn't be surprised if my phone was bugged, too. A house arrest of the highest order. It would seem Lex Luthor has won. (laughs) Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't eve...
2017-10-26 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0120: Reactivation
DOCTOR ELLIS: October 25th, 2015. Doctor Samuel Ellis recording. Alexander Luthor present. Patient: Edward Nygma. Eight days since cerebral suspension. All vitals restored, and holding. Brain function at 1.9%.
LEX LUTHOR: Ah, let's turn him back on.
DOCTOR ELLIS: Nanotumour disabled. Restoring brain activity. 5%. 27%. 68%.
LEX LUTHOR: Did it work?
DOCTOR ELLIS: Brain function restored to 100%. Nanotumour su...
2017-10-25 22:00:03 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0119: Declaration of Death
DOCTOR ELLIS: October 17th, 2015. Dr. Samuel Ellis recording. Patient is Edward Nygma, with anaplastic astrocytoma, in the hospital for palliative therapy. He was found unresponsive by a nurse at 9AM. Respirations, femoral and carotid pulses, and pupillary reflexes were all absent. In accordance with DNR order, no CPR was initiated. Nygma was pronounced dead at 9:15AM. Contractual guarantor Alexander Luthor was notified of the death. ...
2017-10-25 21:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0118
EDWARD: E-nygmatic says: Wishing you a full and speedy recovery, Riddler. Your blog has always been a favourite of mine; nothing delights me more than hearing your updates. Best of luck, and I hope we get to hear from you soon.
Thank you. Thank you everyone who has been helping me through these last few weeks. I feel you have been invaluable to the entire process. My apologies for the unfortunate turn in my last recording. I try not ...
2017-10-25 20:00:00 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0117
EDWARD: Culandra says: I don't know how up to date the hospital you currently reside in is, but there has supposedly been a recent breakthrough in immunotherapy. It should be more focused on the cancer cells rather than the healthy tissue around the tumour. Might be worth checking out. Get well soon. And, captaindemetrios asks: Do you have a plan for dealing with your illness? Are you just giving up already? There are endless resources in Gotham an...
2017-10-25 19:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0116
EDWARD: Anonymous says: Edward, you need to find Ra's al Ghul Lazarus Pit. It's the only way you can cure yourself. There are only a few pits that you can find, one is in Tibet, one in the Himalayas, and one in the Australian Outback. But, you should be able to get to Al Ghul's the easiest since it's well known. I'm so sorry about what has happened to you.
I've gotten a few messages of late, directing me toward the all-healing, all-p...
2017-10-25 18:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0115
EDWARD: I've been moved to a private room; in Metropolis General where I'm allowed to - set up shop, as it were, and use my recording equipment. Thank you to those who sent the kind words, but I'm determined to carry on as though nothing's wrong. (coughing) For all the good that does. Questions. I have questions here, and they need answers. Awkwardgothboy asks: Eddie, if you don't mind me calling you that, which I will regardless because you have n...
2017-10-25 17:00:00 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0114
Beeps of hospital monitors.
EDWARD: (weak) Good evening, listeners. As you may or may not have noticed, I've been rather silent since my foray into the musical arts. When I said it was against my better judgement to sing, I didn't realise how profound I would be. Did you know Music Meister was actually a thing? As in, not just some gap-toothed cartoon Rogue hissing from within the shadows of the Warner Brothers water tower? I didn't. I went out a few...
2017-10-25 16:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0113
Anonymous asks: Can you sing us a song?
and
Anonymous asks: I love your voice - can you sing?
and
Anonymous asks: Can you sing?
Against my better judgement, I will indulge you this once.
- ?
EDWARD: It don’t mean a thing, if it ain’t got that swing
(doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah)
It don’t mean a ...
2017-10-25 15:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0112
EDWARD: Sirofchaos asks: Good evening sir Riddler, I was wondering how I could become an apprentice, or at least an upper-class henchman, of the most powerful and intelligent man in the world? And, anonymous asks: Would you ever consider taking on an apprentice? I'm sure there are plenty of people, including myself, who would love to learn from you. And, anonymous asks: ask-piedpiper's query had me thinking that you were about to get your own Harle...
2017-10-25 14:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0111
EDWARD: Paradoxmagic said: This is a personal question; however, you always talk about your father but you rarely talk about your mother... what was she like? Or better yet what happened to her? Or well, both of them? Sorry to pry but curiousity is eating me alive (pardon the expression). And, anonymous says: I guess we all know that you didn't have a good relation with your father. But what's with your mother? Do you bear a grudge against her? And...
2017-10-25 13:00:03 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0110
EDWARD: Riddlerfan21 asks: Riddler, I just watched Necessary Evil, the documentary about DC villains. You were mentioned multiple times, one saying that you always leave clues because you WANT to be caught. Is this true? If so, why?
It would appear that I'm being laid out on the proverbial couch. I shall indulge you this once. Is this true? To put it simply, no. Do I want to be caught? (chuckles) No. If I truly wanted to be caught, I...
2017-10-24 23:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0109
EDWARD: Mr. Jaan, or Yaan depending on where you're from, asked: Dear Riddler, I have noticed that you seem very proud of your intelligence, yet fail to mention any current exploits. I feel that these, too, would be things to boast about. I at first assumed you so ply didn't wish to spoil any surprises for the bat-brain, but have noticed that you often say you're trying to avoid contact with him. With no offense intended (though I'm fully aware tha...
2017-10-24 22:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0108
EDWARD: Good evening, everyone! For those of you with the slightest powers of observation will've noticed that I had been AWOL for the entire month of February. You may ask why? Well, as they say on tumblr, let me explain to you a thing. February is a terrifying month in Gotham, and it has to do with the ever-delightful Hallmark holiday: Valentine's Day. You see, we have a lot of.. Well, how can I put it delicately - psychopaths. People who, when February ...
2017-10-24 21:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0107
EDWARD: Amashi-zaino asks: Dear Riddler. I know that this might not be the best riddle, but a friend of mine from Mensa told it to me once. He said that it needs some revision I want to ask the master. Who better to ask than the Prince of Puzzles? 50 is my first, nothing is my second, a snake will make my third, three parts a cross is reckoned. To find out what I am put all my parts together. I am all your past and you fear me in cold weather. What...
2017-10-24 20:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0106
EDWARD Good evening everyone - a very happy 2014 to you all. While some were drowning their sorrors in a bottle of whiskey over the holidays, I was drowning my 'flu in a bottle of NyQuil. I now feel slightly human, so I figured I'd answer a question. (clears throat) Anonymous asks: Which is more dangerous, if you're willing to divulge of course, an enraged Riddler, or a bored Riddler?
Hm. Well, if I'm to choose between the two, I sup...
2017-10-24 19:00:02 +0000 UTC
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EDWARD: Good evening, everybody. I won't keep you long - but I just wanted to wish you a very happy holiday. I'm afraid I won't be around for a week or so; the Batman becomes particularly vigilant during the holiday season, and I'd just as soon not aggravate him any more than usual. That in mind, I will see you early next year. In the meantime: be good, please. I don't like returning to a mess.
2017-10-24 18:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0105
EDWARD: Anonymous asks: Do you rape women? Or do you just stalk them down and follow their every move?
You must be a JOY at parties. At first, I wasn't going to answer this. I had considered letting it fade from both my inbox and my memory, but then I thought: oh, why pass up a moment to tear off the proverbial strip? Now when I see something like this, given what I've answered before, I can't even get mad. Oh sure, I'm slightly peev...
2017-10-24 17:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0104
EDWARD: Toriteaturtle asks: Hello dear Edward! I'm terribly sorry to bother you but I needed an answer over a rather pressing matter between a friend and I. A few days ago my friend interrupted me while I was having a good time solving Einstein's Riddle and decided to have a go herself. I soon figured out the correct answer but my friend gave up and took a wild guess and happened to get it right. She then said how proud she was to figure it out, bu...
2017-10-24 16:00:03 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0103
EDWARD: Anonymous asks: What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4, and never is written with 5.
Yes. Everything you said was correct. I don't know what you expect me to say to this, so... (clears throat) Okay then.
2017-10-24 15:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0102
EDWARD: Scatter44 asks: Mister Riddler, have you in recent times considered getting rid of Daniel Mockridge? He is quite rich so it might be best to do away with him before he hires an assassin to do away with you. And, anonymous asks: If you're so smart, why aren't you rich? And, an equally clever anonymous asks: If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
(laughs) Oh, very clever. For those who don't know the story behind those hilari...
2017-10-24 14:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0101
EDWARD: Good evening, dear listeners. I'm sorry to have been away for so long, but time flies when you're eating food through a tube. But with the recovery, bedpans, and physio behind me, I believe I'm now ready to field some questions. In case you hadn't noticed, LexCorp has done some... Revisions to my site, apparently there was some red tape attached to my rescue and now I'm locked in a year-long contract with LexCorp. Que sera, sera. I shan't bother yo...
2017-10-24 13:00:02 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Joker Time 04
JOKER: (over loudspeaker) Ladies and Gentlemen of Gotham! Welcome to the show! It's Halloween night, and as promised - your beloved Edward Nygma's going up for the chop. Harley - if you please!
(HARLEY hits a switch; circus music plays)
HARLEY: There ya go, puddin'!
(BUD and LOU growl)
JOKER: Thank you, my dear! Now run along with Bud and Lou and make sure no one gets inside.
(HARLEY leads away BUD and LOU, still gr...
2017-10-24 00:00:00 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Joker Time 03
JOKER: Hello my beautiful Gothamites! And welcome to Joker and Eddie's Happy Happy Fun Time Show! Unfortunately, Eddie's decided to pass out - it's been a rough month for him. Wow. Already a month, and I've only posted one beating! I'm such a naughty host! The duties of an insane supervillain are many, and I'm only one man. So cut me some slack, people! Now, some questions found their way to my desk. Most of them are complaints that I was too rough with Rid...
2017-10-23 23:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Joker Time 02
JOKER: Hello, my beloved people of Gotham! Joker here. Unfortunately, Edward's still a little under the weather, so I'm going to be doing the talking, today. Now, ever since I've usurped Eddie's little radio show, we've been getting lots of messages inquiring after Eddie's health - so we're going to play a little game. It's called: "Every Show of Concern for Eddie Gets Him a Whack with the Crowbar". Who wants to play? I know I do!
(Inaudible protestat...
2017-10-23 22:00:03 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Joker Time 01
EDWARD: I'm sorry for the delay, my fellow listeners - I've had a bit of technical trouble here, but I think I've gotten all the bugs worked out. (clears throat) Thebadguysarealwayshotter asks: Mr. Riddler -
(Distant laughter)
EDWARD: Hm. Mr. Riddler. My friend Dominique has had a major crush on y
(Distant laughter, closer)
EDWARD: Did you hear that? What is that? Oh no. No. I'm sorry listeners, I have to go - they found me. I can't ...
2017-10-23 21:00:01 +0000 UTC
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TRS - Casefile #0100
Jazztronic asks: Madness is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results every time. Forgive me for paraphrasing, but I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter, given the people you encounter in your... Line of work.
Hahaha! Good old Einstein. Always quotable, and refreshingly logical, too. It's hard not to admire him when you've read any given account of his life, and it's my personal opin...
2017-10-23 20:00:01 +0000 UTC
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