Author Daecrist

BONUS: Alien Girlfriend Deleted Scenes - 22: Dreams

Hello! This is a bonus scene I wanted to share with patrons! This is a "deleted scene" chapter that was originally going to be set in between Bill's evening with Rachel and John and the ship getting attacked the next day.

That part of the story was already getting complaints about slowing down and I ditched this and the next chapter in favor of getting things moving again. It has a little bit about the link in it, and I decided I didn't want to info dump so early.

BONUS: Alien Girlfriend Deleted Scenes - 21: Visitor

Hello! This is a bonus scene I wanted to share with patrons! This is a "deleted scene" chapter that was originally going to be set in between Bill's evening with Rachel and John and the ship getting attacked the next day.

That part of the story was already getting complaints about slowing down and I ditched this and the next chapter in favor of getting things moving again. It has a little bit about the link in it, and I decided I didn't want to info dump so early.

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 57: Mechanic

I took in a deep breath and let it out in an appreciative whistle as I approached the craft.

It looked too big to be a fighter. It also looked a little too sleek to be a landing craft or a drop ship. Not to mention there wasn't the plating you usually saw on the bottom of a drop ship for atmospheric entry.

It turns out just putting old-fashioned heating plates on drop ships was a whole sequel trilogy of a lot cheaper than putting fancy shielding on them. And it was more reliable s...

New tier: All the Chapters!

Hi all! There are some shakeups coming to the tiers in the next week or so, and it means more chapters for everyone at every tier level!

I've also added a new tier: All the Chapters at the $30 level. You'll get access to everything I've written and revised with that tier. Basically you're getting to read my buffer ahead of time, whatever that is. I'm only about 5 chapters ahead currently, but as the buffer grows what's available on there will also grow!

I shoot for writing and rev...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 60: Hot Date

That flash and the accompanying sonic boom, a sound that had been terrifying to me once upon a time but was like a sweet symphony to my ears now, resolved into a blur that moved right through the middle of one of the giant robots.

I’d been having trouble fighting it off, but it would appear the city’s resident hero didn’t have any trouble slicing right through the damned thing.

Typical.

I felt a touch of professional jealousy at that. It wasn’t fair that I had all th...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 59: Round One

I flew up and hit the robot with one hell of an uppercut. I made sure to put every extra ounce of power I could into that physical blow.

I was irritated enough that I felt like beating the shit out of something. I was going to do this the old fashioned way. No fancy plasma blasts or energy weapons or antigrav homing missiles.

I was pissed off. I needed to let off steam. I was going to make this robot my bitch, and the clang it made was supremely satisfying as my fist made contact ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 56: A New Day

I paused a little bit later at the exit to her chambers. Technically I had chambers of my own a level below. It was a short dedicated elevator ride to get up here and see her. But something told me I wasn't going to be spending a whole lot of time in those chambers. Something told me I wasn't going to want to spend a whole lot of time in those chambers, for that matter.

One look at Varis standing there in her uniform, an understated slightly purple thing that had her rank insignia for h...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 55: The Morning After

I woke up and smiled as I looked at the sumptuously appointed room all around me. And when I say it was sumptuously appointed, I mean it was really sumptuously appointed.

I'd heard of admirals having some really nice rooms on their massive carriers. There'd been a time when I'd even entertained the idea that I might be one of those admirals someday. Tooling around in the Terran Navy on my own ship with my flag being broadcast on all the right frequencies.

It wasn't, actually. They...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 54: Homecoming

“I’m detecting multiple Imperial Enforcement craft converging on our location,” Arvie said.

“By the empress,” Varis spat out.

“I take it that’s not a good thing that we have Imperial Enforcement coming our way, whatever the sequel trilogy that is,” I said.

“It’s never a good thing when Imperial Enforcement is coming your way,” she said. “We need to take care of this, and we need to take care of it now and get back to my tower.”

“How do we ge...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 58: Predictable

“CORVAC? That you?” I said, almost afraid that was him.

Almost hopeful that was him.

But no. There wasn’t that ancient Apple IIe green glow. These were nothing like the giant robot I’d constructed for him, for that matter. The dude had an annoyingly persistent sense of style when it came to what he wanted in a giant death robot.

That thing had been specially designed to confuse anyone attacking it as to whether it was a terrestrial giant robot or an alien visiting fr...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 53: Fancy Flying

A whisper in my mind. The thought pulsing to my brain before she could say anything.

“We have incoming," we both said at the same time.

We turned and glanced at each other. Just for a moment. I grinned. She smiled right back at me.

"What kind of incoming are we talking about?" I asked, glancing up at the countermeasures screen. I didn't see the telltale sign of any missiles coming at us.

I breathed a small sigh of relief. Only a small sigh, though, because I could se...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 57: Distractions

I put all the strength I could muster into one hell of a right hook that landed across her cheek.

And wouldn't you know it? She didn't even bother to use any sort of inertial dampening field that would stop that hit from slamming into her with its full force. The practical upshot being that her head jerked to the side with a sickening crunch as she slammed against the wall.

Also? I wasn’t really a fan of all those movies and comics based on my adventures with the serial numbers ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 52: Air to Air

“I want you to pull up everything you can tell me about that ship. I want to know what its capabilities are, if it has any tracking abilities. Anything like that."

"On it," Varis said.

She tapped away at the controls over on the right side of the cockpit. Meanwhile I moved in towards the line of traffic. I saw a notification that said the automated traffic system for Imperial Seat was trying to take over, but I quickly tapped the stick to override that. Which earned an angry not...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 56: Anti-Newtonian Flop

I growled and threw myself at her. I was going to show this woman why I was the best villain in the world. I was going to show her why…

Several things happened in rapid succession. Not all of them were necessarily good for that whole plan to show her why I was the best villain in the world. If someone was watching from the outside then some of those things might have then questioning whether I was the best villain in the world.

My suit appeared around me along with my contacts, ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 51: High Velocity Translation Errors

Varis looked up at the countermeasures display. It was a squiggly line that was getting less and less squiggly as missiles moved in closer.

At least they weren't trying to use fold munitions in atmosphere. That could do funky things to a ship this deep in a gravity well. Which didn't stop people from trying to do it from time to time, but it was very dangerous. With the danger increasing in linear relation to the mass being thrown through foldspace in a gravity well.

I looked to V...

Poll: Which story are you here for?

I have two stories running right now, and I get the feeling the vast majority of engagement is for Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend. Just checking in with patrons as I get close to the end of the first novel for Villains.

Thanks!

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 50: Property Rights

We stepped into the fighter. I looked around at the controls. I looked up to the green light that told me Arvie was still in here with us monitoring everything. Then I looked over to Varis, who looked like she was very pissed off.

She reached out and jammed her finger into a button, and suddenly the canopy all around turned dark. Followed by a slight beep.

"We are now covered from all tracking and listening devices, and nobody should be able to see in," Arvie said. "At least for n...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 55: Trap

“What’s going on here is no longer your concern,” Dr. Lana said.

She squeezed her hand. I rolled my eyes. Really? She was still operating an old model that required her to use her hands to activate the blaster?

That was the super villain equivalent of using a baby toy.

Still, it worked well enough to send a beam shooting out. It made contact with the jerk who’d been so giving of his time and information. He was reduced to his constituent atomic parts. Which saved me ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 49: Words vs Deeds

I could take another step forward, but Varis was right there barring me from taking that step. It really was like there was an iron bar right in front of me, keeping me from being able to move forward.

But that's what I wanted to do. I didn't care if there was some overweight livisk asshole telling me I couldn't go in there. I didn't care if it was going to create trouble for Varis. I didn't care if it might get me killed.

I needed to talk to my crew. To let them know I was doing ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 48: The Reclamation Mine

“That was fast," I said, looking at the mine in front of us.

There was a sign that had livisk script but again, I had no idea how to read the stuff. The sign, and the landing platform, were lit by spotlights.

"It would be really useful if there was an implant or something I could get that would allow me to read that stuff."

"There is an implant you could get that would allow you to easily read that stuff," Arvie said, "But something tells me you wouldn't allow me to put th...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 54: Suspicion

I thought fast. I was good at thinking fast. Being able to think fast in a pinch was one of the skills that had helped me rise to the very top of the hero/villain ecosystem in a city where it was very difficult to get to the top.

That and having a wonderful toy to whip out every time I was anywhere close to being in trouble.

“Um. I was just saying you need to be quiet so I can apologize. Yeah. That’s totally it,” I said.

I glanced around the elevator. The whole thing w...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 47: Flight Test

We flew out over the city, and I found myself letting out a laugh of my own as she did another barrel roll.

“That’s a neat trick!” I said.

“It is a neat trick!” she said, turning to grin at me.

I wanted to reach out and take her hand as we shared this moment, but it looked like she was a little busy keeping control of the sleek fighter craft. I looked at the controls all around me, wondering if there was an override somewhere on the copilot side I could use to take...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 46: The Need For Speed

I was like a kid in the proverbial candy store as I looked at the controls in front of me.

There were two control sticks that came out from the front. One for each of us. Though I noted they could be moved forward and tucked away depending on who was taking control at the moment. There was also a large touch panel like something straight out of Star Trek laid out in front of me.

I also noted that Varis seemed to be the one taking control for now. All the controls lit up o...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 53: Going Down

The guy tried to surreptitiously glance in my direction. And by “my direction” I meant “down my shirt.”

I knew exactly what he was up to. Which I could’ve done without now that my social engineering via low cut top was done. Whatever. I leaned forward just a little to keep his attention.

At least if he was staring at my chest then he wasn’t trying to talk to me. I watched the indicator telling me we were going deeper and deeper into the goddamn Applied Sciences Departm...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 45: The Fleet

The great glass elevator, I guess that's what this thing was being called in my head, continued to rise up through the city inside a city. The higher we went, the more spaced out things were getting. Not at all like the arcologies back on Earth. Places where people were stuffed in with population density being the only consideration.

Which naturally led to all kinds of trouble in the first arcologies humanity put together. Things had gotten better over time, and then the invention of fo...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 44: The Grand Tour

"I can assure you, General, at no point was I going to give him access to any of the weapons in the tower."

“So you’re admitting there are weapons in the tower that could be turned against you if somebody figured out how to do it?"

"I am admitting nothing," Arvie said.

“Sure you aren't," I said.

Some tension seemed to drain from Varis at that. Like for a moment she thought the computer was actually close to giving me the kind of access that would allow me to take...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 52: Social Engineering

I looked up and blinked a couple of times. A guy stared back at me with a goofy grin on his face. A goofy and… hopeful grin. Crap.

I could use this, but Selena wasn’t going to…

“I don’t like this guy,” Selena said.

It was almost enough to make me laugh. She had the telltale signs of jealousy, but she should know that jealousy was the last emotion she should have looking at this guy.

He wasn’t my type, for one. He was a dude. Not my cup of tea. Not that it...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 43: Escape, From A Certain Point of View

Varis walked over to the wall. A door that’d clearly been hidden there opened. Though I got the feeling that was keyed to her since I’d been around this room again and again and it didn’t open for me.

"That was interesting," I said.

"Yeah, there are places where the doors are hidden. Mostly on levels where we keep valuable guests who might be sticking around for a long time, but aren't necessarily interested in staying."

"That's a fancy way of saying it's a nice gilded...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 42: The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything

I sat staring up at the ceiling. My breath was coming in ragged gasps. Sort of like the ragged gasps I had after the last couple of times we met each other in single combat.

Only this wasn't single combat like the last couple of times we'd met. Though I had managed to stick her with something.

Giggity.

Okay, enough with the juvenile jokes. I couldn't resist just one though. I was still high on the excitement of getting with an insanely beautiful woman. An insanely beautiful ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 41: Breaking Tension

I lost track of exactly how long that kiss went on. I just knew it was a thorough kiss. I knew my hands started doing some exploring, and I knew that sparkling purple dress she wore gave me plenty of access to plenty of things, if you catch my meaning.

But it went back to one of those things Einstein had said. I was paraphrasing here, but having your hand on a hot plate for a second feels like an eternity, and having your hands on a hot woman for an eternity feels like a second.

I...