Simon Christopher

My Dumbest Tattoos

I have alot of tattoos, and i get most of them hammered as all f*ck. Today I tell the stories of my dumbest ones thus far.

Weird Porn and Sex Stuff (Ep 008)

Ever seen a guy get fucked to death by a horse? I am. Its a rough one.
Appreciate ya, Monkeys!

SILLY GOOSE TIME! EP 007!

EP 007!  Im James Bond Bitch!

THE HANGOVER EPISODE 006

Fucking 6 episodes! Next one is number 7! Oh fucking dear! Almost at 10 and then what the fuck? This is a fun time for me. I appreciate you kids watching this!

Law Suits, Blacking out in a Casino covered in blood, and Red Dead Redemption 2

Ep 5. I didnt think i'd make it past 3 but hey! fuck it. its a good god damn time.

Fight Stories, Almost Dying In China and Dicks (EP 004)

Today we talk Fight Stories, Almost Dying In China and Dicks. Business as usual! I appreciate you patreon folk. Not slowing down for no cunts!

Life Advice with Simon Christopher (EP 003)

Heres the full video for Ep 003! I appreciate the fuck out of those who support me and watch all the chaos unfold. Many more to come! 

White Monkey out.

SWAN DIVE! FULL EPISODE 2 VIDEO!

Join the Troop! 

White Monkey Out.

The Return Of The Great White Monkey (Ep 001)

FULL VIDEO PODCAST FOR EPISODE ONE! MONKEYS UNITE!

Eh cunts.

Getting this shit sorted. videos coming real soon!

The full, uncut video YouTube banned. (Patreon Special)

I just moved to Australia so I haven't really been able to film because I'm unemployed and homeless. But here is the full, uncut video YouTube removed and gave me a strike for. I love you fuckers.

Password: Jizzums 

Yeah... thats the password... say it out loud. It's funny.

25K SUB FUCKERY!

25 staples being ripped out of me. Enjoy, I didn't.

The Electric Card Shuffler Part 1

fuck yeah!

Hot Sauce Face Mask!

Accidentally posted this on YouTube. Oh well.

New Patreon Perk!

Since I have been so shit at Patreon and I feel so fucking bad about it, I will be putting the extended versions up BEFORE the YouTube versions! If I don't post on Patreon, I dont post on YouTube. I love you guys for supporting me, and this is just one more way I can show you my black little heart still beats ;) 

EARLY ACCESS TO CONTENT ON PATREON! i love you! HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME! 

Check out the Lip Glue Fuckery. Let me know what you think! 2017-06-21 15:17:03 +0000 UTC View Post

Extended One Year Fuckery!

So I finally figured it out. You'll get full videos every time (that I can, the last few dealt with things I cant post on Patreon (piss. no bodily fluids. I know... Its fucked) Here ya go you beautiful bastards!

Uncensored NutBlood video coming soon!

As a token of how bad I feel for the lack of content on here, I will post the uncensored version of NutBlood soon. That'll shut you fucks up who call it fake. Prepare yourselves for a bloody bean bag.

Whats up mafuckas!

Tattour

Hey kids! So I fucked up my tattoo appointment so I'm a week late, but here's a quick daddy I made last night where I show off some of my tattoos. I forgot the best story somehow. So expect a part two. It's mainly showing off my first TSCS tattoo! Xoxo

New TSCS tattoo!

When I started the show (the day we shot The Psychic Test with 200 subs, and thats being generous) I made it a point to get the graffiti on the wall in the shot. I don't know why I loved that Bart Simpson looking thing, but I wanted it in the shot. I said that day if I ever got to 10k subs (which I NEVER expected to happen, let alone even hit 1k) I would get it tattooed. Well... as I approach in 20K (what the fuck?) I decided to man up and get it inked. So Monday I will be getting my first TSCS ...

DOUBLE EXTENDED TOWEL FIGHT!

Get all those shots, all the jokes, all the aftermath and some fun couch hangs!

A "bit" of blood...

So Patreon was very firm on not allowing ANY "bodily fluids" (I will post my original email to them somewhere because I sound like a mad man) but I talked them into saying they will allow "a bit" of blood (I have that shit in writing, mother fuckers). So!

When I reach my first goal of... how ever much money a month it is... the dog goal. I will release the UNCENSORED and EXTENDED versions of #NutBlood. 

For all you who think it's fake, well...  I doubt many "haters" ...

FULL ACCESS SUPER HOT SAUCE ON MY BALLS!

THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT! I made this as long as I could without it being boring. I hope you like it. Plenty more to come!

UPLOAD UPDATE!

Guys. I cant apologize enough for the amount of time its taking for shit to get shit uploaded. My internet is fucked. Im buying a new router tonight so unless theres some unforeseeable issues, it will be up tomorrow. As a token of how god damn shitty I feel about this, I will be making a Patreon Only video for everyone who subs. Normally the "Patreon Only" footage will be for the Full Access tier. But I feel terrible. And I also don't usually talk about ideas, but I'll let you in on the secret b...

PATREON CONTENT UPLOADING OVER NIGHT!

Hey fuckers! Thank you to the few that are dope enough to commit to this experiment with no content. I know it's been a week without shit, which is why I made the Double extended version over 30 minutes, and the extended is around 15. I left as much as I could to make the wait worth it! I will chop the future videos down a bit since 30 minutes of me is too much for anyone, but I wanted to kick it off right! My internet sucks, but I will leave my laptop open for as long as it takes for this shit ...

Perks. Want em? You'll get em.

Sup fuckers! I want this Patreon page to be fucking dope. Tell me what you want as perks and I'll make it happen! Although theyre pretty strict on nudity and boldily fluids. Had to go back and forth with them in emails just to get permission to post "a bit" of blood. No puke, no shit, no cum. And trust me, I asked that specifically. Let me know what cool shit I can offer as a thank you to you little bastards for helping me get out of bars!