Sending you all my gratitude and love for this new month and this New Moon day, falling in Scorpio, and on the festival of lights, Diwali! I am sharing my new moon table here: I have 2 "medicine tables" I call them, one deep red and the other the turquoise pictured above, and the three cards are three versions of the Magus from a special Thoth deck, my partner happened to have and never used. There were 3 quarters that also happened to be on my desk today, 2 of them were minted the year of Bloomsbury's publishing of all 3 of my books' paperbacks, and the other the year I got pregnant, and then had Imogen the following year. Since my intention is to birth another book, all of these felt like a natural connection for the intention table, as well as the one red rose petal that happened to find itself outside near the front door. The two large crystals I found in an antique store in Cambria, during my birthday trip this past July, and the slimmer ones I think of as pointers, I've had for a while. The figures are Buddha and Ganesha, also found in my partner's drawer, though between the two of us we have many Ganeshas and Buddhas, much larger and prettier than these. The flowers are a bouquet still alive from 11 days ago. The medicine table(s) was a gift from Imogen's godfather, Hooman, who is also a writer and political/cultural go-to figure for the media, particularly when pertaining to Iran. The intention itself is leaning against a dinner bell with red ribbon that used to belong to my mother, and I have been using it during moon, solstice and healing rituals for years and years. I've been told by quite a few readers that I'm long in the tooth here, in terms of many lives-- I wouldn't be surprised if it were a thousand (I can recall and see details from well more than a dozen) and perhaps this time I'll get it right and wake up. ; - )~
This is not a good photo of this painting with the glare on the left side, and it was sold in my 2019 solo show and the owner sent me a DM IG photo of it on the wall, and those sometimes disappear after you look at it, so I don't have anything better that I know of. But the reason I thought of this painting today is that the subject is in tribute to a painter/poet friendship I had for years, that was in full bloom in Paris when I went to stay with my colleague Christophe Cassidy (who is half French, half American), and all we did was sketch, paint and go to galleries and museums, and read books on rainy days. We are totally different kinds of painters today-- he is a potter, as well, now living in Oaxaca, and we are currently out of touch-- but I think that our finding early on the kindred spirit of writing and drawing/writing and painting was encouraged within each of us, as we shared learning and doing our passion for both.
This afternoon, a lovely gentleman is coming over to model for a painting; meanwhile I am still working on this one above. The stars in particular will take me a while to make come alive. It perhaps seems slow-going, but since I'm writing too I won't beat myself up about it. I have a reading coming up this Sunday for the Santa Monica Review, the fall issue just arrived with one of my short stories in it. I also have a painting on the cover of Kweli Journal, and am thrilled about that.
I am grateful to you all for staying with me on this journey, your support means the world to me. Much LOVE, as always.
This painting is slow going and will hopefully have stars around it within the week, like the pen & ink I turned in for the book on Thursday. This coming Monday I have to start work on the edit of another writer's novel on Los Angeles, but I will have this painting on the easel and will continue as much as I can before I take on a commissioned portrait, which I was just asked to do this morning. Over the decades I have done quite a few pieces for this family: a portrait, a husband and wife portrait, their father and brother's portrait, their nephews, and now this coming one will be back to the original subject, now that she is turning 60, as the progress of years, as I last painted her at around 30. It's an honor and a privilege as I ruminate on all of this. I also had a peak experience yesterday, a blissful 40 or so minutes in the bath, with salts, rose petals and essential oils, listening to music and feeling the joy of being alive and connected to everyone in my life and everything I could imagine in my mind's eye, all as one.
Sending blessings and love on a beautiful Saturday!
I ended up sending 16 of the 20 images the night before the Sept 1st deadline and the publisher was so excited by what she saw that she fully understood that I would need more time to darken some of the lines as well as get them professionally scanned to turn in.
Here is Nude with Ouroboros and Aster Flowers, Woman with Octopus on her head, Woman with Mars, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter and Saturn, and Joan of Arc for the book. Today I am finishing up the little girl and making your cards this weekend!
Sending you all my love and gratitude for your support, which means the world to me.
Last Tuesday near dawn in a Mountain View Air BnB, I experienced what would best be described as a kundalini awakening. Hours before, maybe 9ish, 10ish at night, I was drawing this Tree of Life for the book-- 22 branches and roots, and a single chromosome representing our 23 chromosomes-- and was in the Silicon Valley area to deliver two paintings to a luminous, brilliant patron here. Going home with the beautiful experience of meeting her face-to-face would have been more than enough of all of the pleasure, but waking up to one's lifeforce energy moving up the spine (it actually stopped my heart for a moment) is more than I could ever have dreamed of, on top of it. Again, actually, I never fully believed in this particular phenomenon, but now, there I have it.
This past Friday, back here in L.A., I have been asked to create a mural for a real estate office in the Adams district, where my family has much history. I only minutes ago pitched my one idea for it, and if they do not want it, I will not come up with anything else, and simply move on from considering it. This is, I believe, a byproduct of last week's events. I have become more sure of what I will and won't do, and am also feeling a bit less self-consicuous. If this makes any sense. I have one more day to create the remaining images for the book (6!) as they are due on September 1st, but I also will not beat myself up if I don't make the deadline. This will also be a first. Alternatively, I may sail through today and tomorrow and make the deadline, anyway : )
I'm just midway on the book images, as of this moment. I'm attaching Nurse Jesus with a Fish (not really its title, ha) and Eye Chakra goddess surrounded by Star Anise (also not title). The images have become more surreal than I thought in the beginning, but that's fine. I also, through a Financial Times piece, found that writer/photographer Teju Cole makes playlists on Spotify, so I have,over the past couple days, been listening to his lists as I work. I met him only twice many years ago at the airport, to and fro to Nigeria and back, for the the very first Ake Book Festival. I recently heard from a student I also met there, who over the years we kept in touch (he interviewed me last year for a Black Boy Book Review podcast) and I wrote him a college recommendation or two or three, that he is now here in the U.S. in Texas, beginning his first semester. Lovely ribbons that happen in life.
I added images backwards, but #3's character is given Agrimony across his chest and the Kongo cosmogram at his throat.
#2's character has a bird on her sleeve (the bird's head inside her collar), a necklace of tiny skulls around her (I have a necklace like this that reminds me of Kali) and acorns on her shirt.
Trying to go as fast as I can to meet the Sept. 1st deadline, and so aim to re-finish fine details once I have at least 10 or 15, so that the goal of 20 is in comfortable view.
This may not be entirely finished, but it's the first one complete enough for me to move on to the next image. I had planned to include the insides of the characters (organs such as the lungs, intenstines, heart, brain etc) but then realized that since the text is doing just that in exploring the abuse so thoroughly, that I should take the opposite approach and protect them. So here this pregnant young woman, who in the narrative is a physically and emotionally brutally tortured slave, is instead protected by symbology such as the hamsa, the African Violet, acacia, the five-pointed star and other (perhaps witchy details on my part), and I will proceed this way with the rest of the characters unless I find a creative limitation in this and need to explore the utter violence, as well.
The images in the book will be black and white, with exception of the cover, but while drawing this little boy I realized I will get into creating cosmos in the pen and ink pieces, as well as symbols as simple as the 5-pointed star, with rich history like that of the Sumerians or the Serer religion in Senegal and its symbolizing of Sirius. (That's accidental near-alliteration : ) ) The mixed-race children of the slaves play a pivotal role in the novella but it's too soon to comment on how without it being a spoiler. Still, likely as I will be sharing all of the finished drawings here, you might be able to figure it out. This boy is in color only because the boy who posed for me this past Friday evening was wearing this color of a man's tank top, with his beautiful mother peeking out from behind him, and the image begged for color pencil. The cosmo like details I plan for the drawing will hopefully be a more sophisticated version of what I did some years ago of my parents, which I think you have seen before.
Yesterday I went to the house to bring here to my temp home publications of Frida Kahlo and Egon Schiele sketchbooks/diaries to add to my Da Vinci inspiration (the framed Vitruvian Man, who happened to be here hanging in the bathroom and now hangs above me where I sit in my office/studio space). They are my favorite master artists on the other side of the veil to inspire and "watch over" me as I continue daily to plan/create the images for the book.
Posted here is a painting I did of Frida over 30 years ago and (hopefully) hangs on the buyer's wall today. If I remember correctly, they have two of my pieces.
Continuing with the drawings for the "Benefits" book and will be recording a couple of the stories I've written lately so I can connect with you through video.
Yesterday, July 1st, I realized if I'm going to turn in 20 images for the book (with the working title we can shorten to "Benefits") by September 1st I'd better do at least a sketch a day in July, so that in August, I can throw out what doesn't work, then refine what does, and finalize. I have "cast" models in my head for the lead characters and asked one of them (my niece) today with a few more to ask in the next few days.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being on this journey with me!!! LOVE.
The painting above is hanging in the Queer Communion exhibit at ICA LA-- Ron Athey's retrospective show up through September 5th. It is on loan from the curator Amelia Joans and her husband, artist Paul Donald. Since I have taken part in his opera "Gifts of the Spirit," which was performed at the Cathedral Vibiana in 2018, as well as in his multidisciplinarian piece, "Joyce", I am very honored to appear in parts of the show. You can see the semi-finished AUM T-shirt I made, which surprised me in fetching compliments of where I may have gotten it, the stitches, the design, so I feel good again about my sporadic little forays into clothing design.
Hope you all had a splendid Summer Solstice-- and Debbie, thank you so much for the beautiful Solstice card!! It is sitting prominently on the altar of my temporary home : )
Here is some progress on the T-shirt, where I added to the design, in black ink, and cut the seem of the sleeves and sewed one layer of the edges in black, below that layer is blue, and under the arms is yellow, the latter may not have been the best choice since perhaps it will look like a sweat stain, ha!
I will wear the finished product this Saturday (to the soft opening) or Sunday (to the appointment only opening) of a close friend's retrospective show, in which I also have a painting of him included in the exhibition, and which is owned by the curator.
I realized only until just photographing the beginning process that last night I sewed the shred of my antique Aum silk scarf upside down on the T-shirt, so that it is a rather selfish view. Every time I look down at this shirt, I will see Aum, but everyone else will see an upside down symbol! So first mistake. The tiny indelible ink bullseye I drew in the center will become either a mandala or a winged heart on fire. We'll see. I was inspired to make a T-shirt by watching the 2018 Vivienne Westwood doc here in my new temporary home-- I have always loved her clothes and was long ago gifted the most amazing velvet black and gold catsuit I tend to wear in ritual on winter solstice. She is such a beautiful badass in fashion. And since I don't yet have my easel here-- as we try to make space for my things-- I can only draw or do pastel crayon work or sew and draw on T-shirts like I'm doing here.
MUCH LOVE to you. Hope you enjoyed the new moon!
PS, that is cardboard inside of the T, which I always use to paint or draw on clothes to not get it on the other side.
I just want to thank you for continuing this journey with me. I appreciate you deeply. The house I have been renting for the past 7 years has mold and seems to be the manifestation of my feelings on the place. Seven years is a cycle and I've never really been happy there. So for the past few days I have been packing and moving some of my stuff into my hiking partner's place, as he has welcomed me for this refuge, while I look for a new space. So much change!
Today I went to look at a live/work loftspace in an industrial area near Highland Park/Glassell Park, here in L. A., and though I had sent ahead my website to avoid face-to-face racism (I'd rather they just blow me off before making an appt) but he hadn't looked, and so when I arrived I knew what was coming next. It's why I always dread looking for a place. All of that said-- this is where I have been a baby ever since I was 23ish and ended up in a discrimination court case that I certainly didn't welcome-- I know it's time for me to step up in courage.
The piece above is in pastel crayon of a memorial, so the subject is not happy or appropriate but I colored it that way. For some reason, in this moment, it speaks to leaving a chapter of life (full of many lives) behind-- a colorful memorial for what life was in a space. I welcome a new space. I welcome this new unfolding chapter in my life. And I appreciate you so very much for, not only the literal support, but that which I feel so strongly from your hearts.
In an IG story a friend posted a photo of me and our mutual friend in memoriam of his death some years ago, but the photo(s) were taken at a past solo show, where you could see me and our mutual friend in front of this painting above, which is of the wonderful writer and journalist, Lynell George, who most recently published the book: "a handful of earth, a handful of sky, on the world of Octavia E. Butler."
This week I am going over a contract for my artworks, 20 pieces, to accompany the text of a new writer's coming novella, which is an intense slave narrative. The working title of the piece is rather shocking, and if you are interested in what it is, ask me in the comments. I think Patreon shows teasers of posts, and I did not want to include it where it may be seen, since I have not signed or made my final decision.
It's interesting to have an offer you do not feel entirely sure of during the lead up to a super blood moon eclipse, which occurs in just hours tomorrow.
I was never a hard candy person, but this painting came to mind when thinking of childhood joys as an adult, like this piece, which is now in a private collection. I was watching a bit of some movie with lunch where the main characters were intending to time travel back to a time when they were innocently involved with the little things that make them happy. For the woman who modeled for this painting, it was giant lollipops. Since it's Saturday, which I tend to associate with fun or errands or a mix of both, I took care of the business I have to (which is looking for a new place to live, take my shadow work and yoga classes) but also got to have impromptu dinner with a friend, from whose place I write you now.
Hope you had a happy Saturday with some time for some childlike joy.
Hello Everyone! Here is the reading of a short story I just turned in to a magazine that is published in Mexico. The story will appear both in Spanish and in the original English version. I wanted to share it with you, as it's the first time I am reading it aloud. I listened to the Read Aloud computer voice on Word read it to me before I turned it in, but I didn't read it aloud myself until tonight, for you.
Here is "Laura on Wilshire Blvd." still in progress due to the adding of a tree and the tireless work on her glasses and eyes. I attached "Spike" (with sunflowers, in a private collection), "Greg & Rod" (a commission, private collection) and "Art Hotel, Berlin," which I finished some time ago and posted here earlier. I wanted to show the trick of glasses so to speak, and the hopeful growth in which I am learning. Laura's right eyes is messed up and the glass rims and glass itself are not yet replaced, because I had to do some facial structure rearranging. But I just wanted to share more process and am grateful to you for helping me through this. Your being here encourages me to keep working, no matter how long or hard a picture needs. That is the whole point of art. It has to move one, and bring some moment of living to a kind of eternal life.
Also from a private collection, I thought I would post this piece which illustrates the current dicotomy I feel between ecstatic highs and emotional lows due to my longtime lack of discipline for meditation. I just started a 4-week class of shadow work to hopefully do some constructive clearing of psychological constructs and shame as well as some discovery and reclamation of aspects of myself I did not know I have been keeping hidden.
Today I watched a documentary on the return of a Nazi-era stolen Egon Schiele painting called "Wally"-- and I'm not sure if I watched it before, though the extraordinary story involving MOMA, NPR, New York and Austria was a familiar mess of ethics, but I have always been a fan of Schiele and loved reviewing his work and bits of his short 28 year life. Because the "Wally" painting was returned (rather controversially) to a private foundation in Austria, it reminded me that I have 2 piecess that have a home in a private collection in Vienna. My friend Traci modeled for "Pandora" and my friend Bill and I modeled for "Love and Trouble." They were both painted on nailed two-by fours that I stretched myself-- as I commonly used to do-- and were therefore quite heavy. These days I am painting 80 per cent of the time entirely on wood, and the other 20 per cent on store bought canvas. I did recently stretch canvas on an oval frame of wood, which was quite tricky, and the painting is still in process.
Please excuse the mistakes in my reading, as this entry was written at 2am on the Full Pink Moon, and I haven't watched the video yet myself, since I don't want to trip on the mistakes. Also, I should mention that I speak to my Mom here, and she made her transition two years ago, so I just wanted to be clear on that because it could be confusing, otherwise : ))
My title is a little cheeky because I started this drawing after dinner in front of the television, some show on historic British castles, and then I finished the drawing while on hold to cancel my Spectrum cable TV. I have been promising myself I would do this even before the pandemic, and all through the past year I kept telling myself I would, and this morning, finally I did it, and finished this drawing.
The drawing is of a photograph I found in a box of old ones, taken years ago when I piled on so much of the Indian jewelry that I had (or have), making a point in fun of how much of it that I had (or have) and I hope this is not seen as un-PC or culturally inappropriate, but it's meant in humor and love-- the humor and love I hope to extend myself if I break down quite soon and watch Netflix on the dis-cabled television or HBO max here on my laptop, while I eat dinner.
