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273. The Cast and the Curious: 2 Fast 2 Furious

Ah yes, we're here. The second installment of the series. Sarah learns that one of the tropes of this franchise is the obscene number of undercover agents each movie reveals. You choose which is more believable: felons freely bringing guns on planes or O'Conner's houseboat. Sarah gives her rundown of how fast and furious she's feeling after two films. Take Ludacris' advice and listen to the episode. ...

272. Frame Rate: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

Free Will? More like free William Shakespeare! I'd say it's 50/50 whether you liked that joke. If you do flip a coin and it ends up heads: we're very sorry, you may be in a simulation. 

You have the Pick the Flick tier to thank for this one yet again. Big shout out to Jason B. This time around we delve into the abstract Tom Stoppard Hamlet spin-off starring Gary Oldman and Tim Roth. It's a...

270. Rough Stuff: The Erotic Awakening of Swaim (Feat. Michael Swaim)

Michael Swaim looked in the mirror for 7 hours, called Sarah and Bridgett and demanded a second appearance on Rough Stuff. This episode is wild guys. You might want to lock your door, get real alone and real comfortable because it's about to get weirdly sexual in your immediate space. Come on the journey of demystifying why theater kids are so horny and stay for the lickin' eyeballs story. Also, appa...

269: Directorpiece Theatre: The Dredd of Making a 40 Million Dollar Movie

In 2020, making a mid-range budget film is nearly impossible. Unfortunately, Abe has brought his spreadsheets to examine 2012's Dredd and how its cult influenced the way we make non-Disney action-adventure blockbusters. Turns out a great idea is helpful but there's a few things you may need to check off your list before you jump into producing a film that costs 45 million dollars.

SOURCES

268. Rough Stuff: Alex Shifman

We are joined by Alex Shifman, host of the science show "Science: The Show," once again. This time he gets the Sarah and Bridgett treatment. We get the low brow down low on the politics of farting, Skyline Chili, and an ad for Salt Water Pools brought to you by Sarah, for some reason. No conversation bursting with Americana is complete until you're disgusted yet a bit hungry.

267. Frame Rate: Snowpiercer (Feat. David Bell)

Michael and Abe are joined in this early access Frame Rate by David Bell! Remember when Chris Evans told us that babies taste the best? Remember when that director/writer won an Oscar for Best Picture? We stamp our approval like so many bug protein bars in this episode. Special thanks to Karl P for suggesting this one through the Pick the Flick patreon tier! 

266. The Cast and the Curious: Episode 1

It's all about family in The Fast & Furious franchise. Bridgett, a long-time admirer of the saga, wouldn't be doing her duty if she neglected to sit Sarah down and watch the entire run of the cinematic universe. We know what we're doing here at Small Beans so we included a microphone so you can listen in and witness the absolute madness. See you at the Race Wars!

265. Kings of King: The Shining

Death to the Coen Brothers Brothers! Long live the Kings of King! The first episode of our new deep-dive podcast. Abe and Michael start their dissection of all things Stephen King with The Shining. We find out that Abe misunderstood the film for a very long time and Michael points out the usefulness of an ax in a hedge maze.

Logo Art by Michael Vincent Bramley.

Support Small Beans and acc...

263. Bean Town, A 23 Minute Radio Play (Early Access)

Good news, everyone! We've had a super secret project we've been working on and many of you didn't even guess it. And you, our beany little beans get early access to our 23 minute sketch comedy extravaganza. You hear that beans?! You are the bean-elite! The tip of the bean pod! The boom of the legume!

The Mayor of Bean Town has just been informed that deadly Earth-orbiting aliens will destroy Bean Town and less importantly the world in mere minutes. Luckily, Bean Town Cop Frank Wade is ...

262. Frame Rate - Three Colors: Red (Feat. Adam Ganser)

Adam is here?! Adam is here! How has this not happened before? Ganser joins Michael and Abe to talk about the Polish-French-Swiss art house film, Three Colors: Red. It's like listening to three cavemen discover fire. Our grunts may seem confident, but inside we're terrified. So listen to this boat accident of a review.

261. Small Beautiful Things: How To Shoot Fight Scenes

Abe's back with his opinion on fight scenes and how directors succeed and fail at keeping our attention. He inspects the tempered approach of Ip Man 2 and how it crafts a spectacular and memorable fight sequence. Also, look at Donnie Yen's face in that one shot. Seriously, look.

Source clips include:

Strange Brew, "Dreams" on PS4, IP Man 2, The Dark Knight, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Heat, Knives Out, Quantum of Solace, The Bourne Ultimatum, Deadwood, Episode: "Unautho...

260. BOLD: Meet Your Hosts! An Introduction to Activism & Organizing

BOLD is a podcast about race and justice in America, and a collaboration between Small Beans and Showing Up For Racial Justice, produced by White People 4 Black Lives.

In the first episode of our second batch, our co-hosts Dahlia Ferlito and 2020-02-24 15:36:23 +0000 UTC View Post

Get Your Hot, Beany MERCH Now!

In the next week and a half, we will be off-lining the Small beans store for a while. Not making enough to pay for itself; we'd rather funnel every bit of patronage into beans. 

Consider this your warning if you want any rad shirts before the SB Vault closes at the beginning of March! 

Click here to visit the store: 2020-02-20 02:39:17 +0000 UTC View Post

[IGN] 5 Embarrassing Moments Only Gamers Understand

Behold, Swaim, the gate-keeper of gaming who dictates who is a real gamer and the special knowledge they alone are therefore privy to! Art is only for the chosen!!!!!

259. Directorpiece Theatre: The Story On Top of Basic Instinct

Adam brings a new angle to the Paul Verhoeven's 1992 erotic thriller Basic Instinct, and it is indeed erotic. Removing layer after layer of why this cult classic is actually a meta-narrative about private dick films, he offers a fresh top-down perspective (like a ceiling-mounted fuck mirror). Abe is also there.

SB Merch: https...

258. Frame Rate: Brazil (Feat. Cody Johnston)

This time Cody Johnston of Some More News and one-of-our-best-friends fame joins us to tackle the prophetic film Brazil, directed by Terry Gilliam. Please comment below if you agree or disagree with our review. "Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork."

And thank you for your suggestion Pick-the-Flick patron sha cla (...

257. Rough Stuff: David Bell

Well, the Rough Stuffers have done it again! In this episode, they cast their spell and dispel the shell of David Bell who in his youth raised some hell. It all makes sense: the friendships with old men, the improv mosh pits, and the exceptionally powerful cranium. It's also clear that teen Bell would probably still be able to ...

255. Frame Rate: Captain Fantastic (Feat. Billy Wayne Davis)

Get your parenting tips from three comedians, two of which do not have children! Fortunately, Billy Wayne Davis, a parent, stops on by to inform us that he's got this whole parenting thing figured out. Spoiler: it's not how Viggo Mortensen raises his kids in this movie. It's not as cool, but it's probably better. 

And thank you for your suggestion Pick-the-Flick patron Zac Schwartz!

...

[IGN] 9 Facts, 1 Lie: DOOM

I'm in the mood. The mood for DOOM.

254. Directorpiece Theatre: Is A Knight's Tale The Best Anachronistic Film?

Abe takes the reigns this time to make the case that this jaunty, joust-y film is the jam. Why do we take old stories and dress them up in modern clothing? What's the point? Adam is also there. Sometimes Abe gets too excited and someone needs to settle him down a bit. 

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com <...

Man vs. Nature: A Failed Book Proposal

As some of the concepts we at one time kicked around inevitably age to the point of being not a thing anymore, we here at the Small Beans Beanateria & Beanporium like to share our failed pitches and proposals with our BeanFriends, since one of the goals of this feed is to give you transparent access to our process. 

So hey, here's a book pitch conceived and written in late 2015! It's a comedic physics textbook modeled after a military briefing. The pitch includ...

253. The Coen Brothers Brothers: Hail, Caesar!

Michael and Abe conclude their examination of the Coen Brothers' films. They also rank them. They announce the topic of their next deep-dive series. Feels like they would record all that within two hours, maybe one and a half... Would that it were so simple.

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com 

Let's Do Sex ('Til Our Butts Fall Off)

I could only resist turning into a purely novelty rapper for so long. NSFW*

Music by Kelsey Hudgins.

*Nasty Stuff, Foul, Wanton

E.L.B. (The D&D One)

Pretty elf-explanatory. Just a demo, over the classic track "Ghostwriter" by RJD2.

253. Frame Rate: The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover (Feat. Tom Reimann)

It's Tom Week! Another one with Tom! This patreon-only early access release gives you Michael, Abe, and Tom Reimann yappin' about the absolutely batshit insane movie "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover" starring Michael Gambon and Helen Mirren. The gang determines it's all one elaborate shitting joke. Did we mention it is considered high art?

A hearty shout-out to John Harty for using...

26 (The Alphabet Song)

Music by Chris Corlew.

LifeHax: Dealing With Being Anxious

Improvised by Abe Epperson and Michael Swaim.

[IGN] What Sonic Says About 'Cool:' A Pop Culture Sociology Video-Essay

Although that title was too long, so Swaim titled it something about 'Gen Z' instead, and is now getting savaged in the comments for being an old dude trying to Poochie his way into a Gen Z space and shill Sonic. That's not at all what the video's about, but this IS Swaim typing in the third person, and he IS an old dude, and if you're reading this and are under 15, go fucking buy Sonic Mania at once. 

Everyone who's not now occupied running out to buy Sonic Mania, hope you enjoy t...

251. Small Beautiful Things: How Spielberg Frames Fear

Suspense and Surprise have always gone hand in hand for directors. For the most part, Spielberg isn't a horror or thriller director, but that's all in how you frame it.

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com

Shows Footage from: 

Jurassic Park (1993), The Haunting of Hill House (2018), Monster Squad (1987), Jaws (1975), The Return of the King (2003), Orphan (2009), Hook (1991), No Country for Ol...

250. Frame Rate: Waltz With Bashir

Abe and Michael do their dance with the 2008 Israeli animated documentary film, its inspection of how we're hardwired to design our own past memories, and its thoughts on the nature of war. Tons of jokes in this one, folks. 

Shout out to Zac Schwartz for this month's Pick The Flick tier! You're a real M.V.Bean.

Warning: Michael's recording software went a little hayw...