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SmallBeans posts

204. Waveformed: Katie Willert

In the premiere episode of Waveformed, host Cristian Ramirez gets to know Katie Willert better by exploring a playlist of ten songs that have impacted her life.

Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5cHEsb2LHdew8NCQXOeDGN ...

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Off Hours: Writing Stream (and Get Your Name in the Credits!)

As we discussed on the recent stream (above), Swaim's gotta write an Off Hours episode about the "Least Likeable Everyman Sitcom Protags" and could use the group's help. If you can direct us to a data point, story arc, character moment, or bit of dialog we end up using, you'll get your name in the credits and our eternal gratitude.


We're currently trying to find data to discredit the following people: Leonard Hofstadter (Big Bang Theory), Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother), Eric Fore...

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203. Frame Rate: Little Shop of Horrors (Feat. Jacquis Neal)

Culture King Jacquis Neal himself drops by to help Abe and Michael root through the tangled story branches (and seeds and  trunks and so on) of the various versions of Little Shop of Horrors. But primarily the stage show and the 1986 Rick Morani...

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Off Hours Writing Stream June 26th!

As we are wont to do, we'll be live-streaming our writing process for the next batch of Off Hours. Reading new scripts, discussing pitches, devising cartoon concepts, and developing ideas into rough drafts! Proceedings will...

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201. The Coen Brothers Brothers: Burn After Reading

What the fuck?!

Free month of MUBI: https://mubi.com/brothers 

SB Merch: smallbeans.bigcartel.com

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200. Frame Rate: Annihilation (Feat. Jack O'Brien)

Jack O'Brien returns! To basically have a very confusing movie he's just seen for the first time explained to him by two dudes who have seen it more times than that. Listen along, won't you?

SB Merch: 2019-06-10 07:54:45 +0000 UTC View Post

Guest Beans: Behind The Beanstards - L. Ron Hubbean (Part II)

Finally, the epic conclusion to the L. Ron Hubbard story! Part V in total, but only the second one featuring the Beans, and the ONLY part featuring an actual song written, produced, and performed by L. himself. It's awful! You'll love it.

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Scriptophobic Interviewed Michael

Pretty self-explanatory. Pretty dope interview. Thanks to Zack Long!

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199. BOLD: Mass Incarceration - The Cost and Fight to Change

BOLD is a podcast about race and justice in America, and a collaboration between Small Beans and Showing Up For Racial Justice, produced by White People 4 Black Lives.

In the third episode, Dahlia Ferlito talks with Ivette Ale and Taina Vargas-Edmond about their activism around prison reform. Also features a specia...

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Guest Beans: Behind The Beanstards - L. Ron Hubbean

Hey! Our pal Robert had us on his hugely awesome pod, Behind the B's. This is part one of two parts about the last days of L. Ron Hubbard, a truly human person who lived and then eventually died. Want to know more? YOU'LL HAVE TO LISTEN.

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Off Hours - If Your Life Got Rebooted, What Kind Would It Be?

The very first episode of Off Hours, a series about a group of friends who often find themselves sitting around dissecting pop culture. 

Katy, Maggie, and Daniel try to cheer Michael up by sharing a meal of vodka and beans, and discussing what meta-genre of film reboot would make for the best life, if you had to reboot yours. Leave your own picks in the comments! And as always, please show your nerd-work.  

\PLEASE help spread the word if you enjoy the show, as we are en...

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Off Hours Shoot 001: The Debrief

Hey, you know all that money you gave us

We spent it! No foolin', we spent 8k out of the 14k raised last month to secure the equipment, props, and talented pals required to bring the show to life. We hope it shows! And...hears? Sounds? Anyway, the sound guy Marcos was also really pro.

Now, POST-PRODUCTION. A.K.A. Editing. That means placing cartoons, clips, reaction shots, clips, int...

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197. Frame Rate: Ichi the Killer (Feat. Brooks Brown)

Takashi Miike's seminal (literally), ultra-gore manga-adapted tale of The Number One Killer, his friend The Other Number One Killer, this Lady Who Kills, and a few other Notable Killers. It's mad, it's undeniably well-crafted, and it may just be the most faithful comic book adaptation of all time. Let's talk.

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com 

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196. What Dinosaur Real Good? Therizinosaurus!

Pop your doctor-prescribed ...

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SB Store Update: New Shirt, New Short

We have just added an Off Hours logo tee, as well as a new audiobook, "Serenity Prayer," to the Small Beans Merch Store. The story was featured in yesterday's Tales from the Pit, and can now be collected on its own ...

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194. Tales from the Pit: Love in the Time of Ballera (Feat. Vanessa Gritton)

Your sick host Michael Swaim is super-stoked to welcome tight guest Vanessa Gritton to discuss hella-pertinent issues like romance and dating through the lens of mental illness, addiction, and family drama.

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com 

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Off Hours! Script Reading and Production Meeting

There will be spoilers for the new episodes of Off Hours, insofar as we'll be reading the rough drafts of the scripts and discussing them. We love you and what you're all about!

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193. Rough Stuff: A Richness of Embarrassments (Feat. Cristian Ramirez)

Precocious Childhood Personal Disappointments! PCPD host Cristian Ramirez braves the Rough Stuff hot seat and endures cross-examination on topics like drama in Drama, dancing for the pleasure of your peers, and playlist fails.

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com

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192. Pop Culture Petri Dish: Future House!

Everyone in Austin, TX, lives in a dumpster and shits in a bucket, and they're better people for it. Ask Abe and Cristian how!

Art by Michael Vincent Bramley.

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com

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Force of Nature: A ReadStream

Here's a weird thing! This is us and our extended fam reading a spec script we just finished. It's called "Force of Nature," and it's an action/thriller in the vein of Die Hard. We were asked to write it by SOME PEOPLE and we're hoping to sell it to them. To that end, if you've got any feedback, please fire away. Otherwise, enjoy the 'tent and the cast list is below!

Michael Swaim - Stage Directions 

Abe Epperson - Neighbor/Del, Father Mendes, Tobias 

Greg Burke - ...

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OFF HOURS Logo, Baby!

By Michael Vincent Bramley, who also drew this shirt!

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Bust: A Pilot Script

Hi there! From time to time, we are forced to give up on projects for various reasons. In the case of "Bust," our spec script for a comedic, heist-centered TV thriller about "What If The MythBusters Did Crimes?," we pitched it for years and now the MythBusters aren't really relevant, so that's that. But as a Beloved Bean, you get to read it! Right now!


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Off Hours: An Update!

Our new series Off Hours is set to launch near the end of this month! 

As such, we've got three episodes in the works. The pilot will be about Rebooting Things (naturally), and the next two will be about The Worst Menial Tasks In Movie Universes and Characters That Secretly Belong In Other Franchises. To watch us come up with those ideas, bat jokes around, and flesh out the series, check out...

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Force of Nature: A Readstream!

Okay, let's try this again. Our cast of avengers are re-assembled, none of them are an animated raccoon, and they'll all be live-reading our NEW SCREENPLAY this Thursday, May 9th, AKA tomorrow. In the evening. 8:30pm P.S.T. 

Be there! And by "there" I mean here!

Cast to...

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191. Frame Rate: Four Lions (Feat. Robert Evans)

Robert "Behind the Bastards" Evans returns to provide real-world expertise in the analysis of a very silly film about suicide bombers. That's right, it's Sharia Law and Lotsa Laffs with Abe, Mike, Rob, Omar, Barry, Faisal and Waj!

SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com

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190. Who Fucked The Dishwasher?

The second installment in our never-ending series of planned sketches loosely referred to behind-the-scenes as "What Did Michael Fuck This Time? Bet It's Unconventional!"

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Trouble w/RSS Feed? Bean This!

You've beaned everything, and the Patron-only, specially-curated RSS podcast feed STILL isn't beaning properly. We're sorry! After trying in vain to fix this for you from our end, we received the below missive from Patreon Prime. 

So it seems out of our hands, but there are some avenues to pursue in this help article, and it sounds like Patreon is ...

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188. Frame Rate: Save the Green Planet! (Feat. Robert Evans)

Behind the Bastards' Robert Evans joins Mike and Abe to discuss a genre-bending tale of kidnapping, mental illness, torture, aliens, bees, enough film references to...

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Off Hours Writing Stream!

The inaugural writer's meeting for Off Hours! WARNING: episode spoilers contained herein.

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187. The Coen Brothers Brothers: No Country For Old Men

Call it, Friendo.

MUBI PROMO CODE: https://www.mubi.com/Brothers 

 SB Merch: smallbeans.bigcartel.com 

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