UPDATE! This is the final cut of the final episode of the year, complete with closing segments AND a State Of The Parks segment about the recent annual passholder class-action lawsuit. Enjoy!
This week, for our final Christmas episode of 2021, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2007 to pick a made-for-ABC Family Christmas movie that dared to tragically answer the bold cinematic question asked by literally no one, "What would happen if The Chronicles of Narnia, Meet the Fockers and...
2021-12-23 05:59:10 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE: And, here's the FINISHED finished version, with all the closing segments intact!
This week, for our second of three special Christmas episodes of 2021, the randomizer goes all the way back to last year to pick one of 2020's seemingly endless stream of COVID-prompted TV specials in which celebrities tried in vain to entertain you people from the socially-distanced comfort of their own homes. Or in this case, the cast of a Disney+ reboot series with a title that sounds ironicall...
2021-12-16 01:16:55 +0000 UTC
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Here's the finished version, with all the closing segments plus a State of the Parks segment on the disastrous launch of DisneyGenie+!
This week, for our first of three special Christmas episodes of 2021, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2009 to pick a half-hour animated ABC Christmas special that dared to ask the bold question, "What if you set Monsters Inc. at Santa's workshop, except I'm not sure why I just typed 'except' because that's literally all it is, Monsters Inc. set ...
2021-12-08 05:17:26 +0000 UTC
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Available to my Patreon patrons ONE DAY EARLY!
This week the randomizer, in its infinite wisdom, chooses more NatGeo content for us to endure! In this case, an episode of a three-part documentary miniseries from 2014 which CLAIMS to show us horrific footage of an entire continent being pushed through some poor woman's birth canal and being granted the gift of life, but instead pulls a bait-and-switch for some reason and just talks about volcanoes for 45 minutes. Join Tony Goldmark, Mor...
2021-12-01 03:33:58 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE: FINISHED EPISODE including a State Of The Parks segment on the Destination D23 announcements!
This week we're bypassing the randomizer for another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Kyle A. Carrozza "makes" us watch three classic theatrical animated shorts from the late 80s and early 90s, based off that smash hit movie from a few years earlier in which Disney asked themselves, "Hey, remember when we used to make wacky cartoons? That was fun, why aren't we still do...
2021-11-24 03:29:01 +0000 UTC
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Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!
The Roger Rabbit shorts episode won't be ready until next week, so in the meantime here's a BONUS MINISODE featuring a State of the Parks segment on the newly-announced makeover of Mickey's Toontown at Disneyland!
2021-11-17 00:38:43 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE: Finished episode! Available twelve hours early to my awesome Patreon patrons!
This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1998 to make us cover Nancy Meyers' inexplicably-beloved remake of a 1961 Disney classic, in which the two Lindsay Lohan clones who WEREN'T destroyed in the studio's infamous "Herbie incident" star in a wish-fulfillment fantasy that dares to imagine a make-believe wonderland where divorced parents can successfully reunite for anything other than screa...
2021-11-11 08:55:48 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE! Finished episode!
This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to make us watch everyone's favorite kind of Disney+ branded content, a NatGeo special! Fun. Specifically, a special that answers the question, "How do we take the inherently interesting topic of badass female Viking warriors and somehow turn it into the most boring sludge of meaningless CSI and Diet David Fincher aesthetics you've ever tried to stay awake through?" Leave it to NatGeo! Join Tony Goldmark,...
2021-11-04 03:34:37 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE: Here's the finished episode, complete with all the closing segments intact and a State of the Parks on Disneyland raising ticket prices and teasing the return of the Main Street Electrical Parade!
This week, for our second Halloween episode of the year, the randomizer goes all the way back to roughly three weeks ago to cover the once-in-a-lifetime confluence of events that led to two divisions of Disney bumping into each other and saying "Hey, you got your Muppets in my Haunted...
2021-10-27 15:57:53 +0000 UTC
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UPDATED to include a State of the Parks on the current state of theme park movies, along with all the usual closing segments!
This week, for our first of two Halloween episodes of the year, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2002 to cover yet another Disney Channel movie, from the exact same director as the Disney Channel movie we covered on our last episode. This one asks the bold cinematic question, "What if you put a heartfelt, gut-wrenching mystery-drama about death and loss, ...
2021-10-20 00:55:56 +0000 UTC
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Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!
The Scream Team episode won't be ready until next week, so in the meantime here's a BONUS MINISODE on the top ten episodes of Escape From Vault Disney, as voted on by my Twitter followers!
2021-10-12 18:18:12 +0000 UTC
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UPDATED to include a State of the Parks segment on Walt Disney World's 50th Anniversary!
Available (finally) ONE DAY EARLY to my Patreon patrons!
This week the randomizer goes all the way back to 2004 to cover yet another Disney Channel Original Movie, specifically one where the future director of Money Plane plays a blind teenager who decides his own brilliant musical skills just don't make him special enough, so he joins his high school wrestling team to get beat up recreation...
2021-10-08 00:55:38 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE: Finished episode!
It's our final week of Patreon Request Month 2021, and the randomizer's going all the way back to 2017 to pick Troy Lundquist's request for an animated feature from the gone-but-not-forgotten Blue Sky Studios, a timeless fable about the virtues of individualism and pacifism in a cruel, heartless, endlessly competitive world where conformity is normalized and life is disposable. Also there's a scene where a bull twerks. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Hal...
2021-09-29 12:56:11 +0000 UTC
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UPDATED to include a State of the Parks segment on recent news about Finding Nemo: The Musical, Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance and Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin!
Available to my Patreon patrons ONE DAY EARLY!
It's Week #4 of Patreon Request Month 2021, and the randomizer's going all the way back to 2004 to pick Eric Ortiz's request for a randomly-selected first season episode of that show we already covered a couple months ago about going to force some sort of hyper team of mo...
2021-09-22 02:39:53 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE: FINISHED EPISODE!
It's Week #3 of Patreon Request Month 2021, and the randomizer's going all the way back to 1989 to pick Paul Sebert's request for a beloved Disney Afternoon show that aired right after the waterfowl who swam through currency but before the bear who flew a plane, all about a buncha vermin who solved crimes and occasionally went into outer space for some reason. Join Tony Goldmark, Garrett Gilchrist, Michael Hunter and David Spencer as they need help and call Ch...
2021-09-15 03:13:35 +0000 UTC
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Available ONE DAY EARLY to my Patreon patrons! (toldja I'd be back on track this week!)
It's Week #2 of Patreon Request Month 2021, and the randomizer's going all the way back to 1993 to pick Nolan Deming's request for one of the most iconic, beloved episodes ever of the deathless primetime animated series that helpfully gave every millennial a kajillion funny quotes to recite and meme at each other to save us the painful embarrassment of trying to learn social skills. Join Tony Goldma...
2021-09-07 20:39:24 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE: FINISHED EPISODE! ENJOY!
This week, the randomizer kicks off Patreon Request Month 2021 by going all the way back to 1979 to pick Nicholas M. Gentle's request for a curious mostly-forgotten "What Would Walt Have Done"-era would-be Disney classic, and I think we can all agree that out of all the Mark Twain adaptations in which the director of Beverly Hills Ninja plays both a horny robot and a time-traveling incel, this is probably one of the top ten. Join Tony Goldmark, Randee M...
2021-09-01 07:50:53 +0000 UTC
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UPDATED to include a State of the Parks segment on the recently-announced "Disney Genie" app and "Lightning Lane" replacing FastPass.
Available EIGHTEEN HOURS EARLY to my Patreon patrons! (Sorry it's not quite AS early as I would've liked, but hey, it's still technically Tuesday in most of the western hemisphere!)
This week the randomizer goes all the way back to late June 2021, an ancient era forgotten by time, when the earth's crust was still warm, dinosaurs roamed the planet,...
2021-08-25 04:00:53 +0000 UTC
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UPDATED to include a State of the Parks segment on the permanent closure of The NBA Experience at Disney Springs!
Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!
This week the randomizer goes back to 1994 to cover the second film in a beloved nostalgic sports movie trilogy about the jock from The Breakfast Club training a buncha youngsters to strap knives to their feet, glide around a frozen room, and try to smack a rubber disk into a net with long sticks. Also they've named thei...
2021-08-17 15:54:35 +0000 UTC
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Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!
Unfortunately the "D2: The Mighty Ducks" episode won't be ready for public release until next Wednesday the 18th (earlier for you wonderful patrons) so in the meantime here's a BONUS MINISODE on the newly-announced details of the Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser hotel set to open at WDW next spring, particularly the detail of how many "credits" the damn thing costs.
And just a reminder, there's still a week and change left to cast yo...
2021-08-10 18:37:08 +0000 UTC
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UPDATED to include a State of the Parks segment on Disneyland's newly-announced "Magic Key" annual pass program AND my thoughts on the new Jungle Cruise movie!
Available THREE DAYS EARLY to my Patreon patrons!
This week the randomizer goes back to 1994 to cover an animated series based on one of the greatest comic book series of all time, and a tour-de-force episode that manages to simultaneously answer both of those eternal dual questions, "What would it look like if Captain Pl...
2021-08-01 16:01:03 +0000 UTC
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UPDATE!!! Annnnd, the request lines are CLOSED! Thank you all so much for your requests and your loyal patronage, and best of luck to all of you!
That's right beloved patrons, it's that time of year again! September 2021 will be Escape From Vault Disney's second annual PATREON REQUEST MONTH!
That means, from now until Friday, August 20th, I encourage you all to submit REQUESTS for any movie, TV episode or series of shorts on Disney+ that you'd like my guests and I to cover! Then...
2021-08-01 07:02:00 +0000 UTC
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Available ONE WEEK EARLY to my Patreon patrons!
This week the randomizer goes back to 2009 to cover one of the most highly-rated Disney Channel Original Movies ever made, a Selena Gomez/Demi Lovato dual vehicle which dared to ask the bold cinematic question, "What if a princess had to STOP being a princess for a little while kinda but not really?" And answers, "Huh, guess she can bowl." Join Tony Goldmark, Alessandra Dreyer, Morgan Funder and David Ganssle as they get relocated by the ...
2021-07-22 02:25:16 +0000 UTC
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Available TWELVE DAYS EARLY to my Patreon patrons!
This week the randomizer goes back to the mid-2000s to cover an animated series from Toon Disney's "Jetix" block of action shows, a show which, one can only assume based on its title, is either about a super team of robot monkeys going to hyperforce, an ongoing hyperforce full of monkey teams of super robots, or a monkey who makes robots, aligns with "Team Hyperforce Go" and also happens to be pretty darn super. Join Tony Goldmark, Ale...
2021-07-10 01:55:01 +0000 UTC
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Available TEN DAYS EARLY to my Patreon patrons!
This week the randomizer goes back to 2005 to cover that one time the Disney Channel decided to make a movie about the plight of indigenous people, specifically Navajos of New Mexico, torn between tradition and modernity, reliant on a country that destroyed them. Naturally, the main character is a white kid and it culminates with an 80s-style bike race. Join Tony Goldmark, Cody Clark, Emily Clark and Jenelle Riley as they fall asleep and ...
2021-07-01 00:40:12 +0000 UTC
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Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!
For the third and final minisode of this off-month, here's a State Of The Parks segment on the newly-announced Tower of Terror movie Disney has in development, with Scarlett Johansson attached to star and produce.
2021-06-29 16:11:55 +0000 UTC
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UPDATED UPDATE! Sorry about that folks, must've been a weird glitch. Should be working now.
UPDATED EPISODE! With a new State of the Parks segment about Mickey's PhilharMagic's new Coco scene, and Disneyland Paris' newly-announced "Premier Access" system replacing FastPasses.
This week, for our first episode after our June 2021 hiatus, the randomizer takes us all the way back to 2010 to cover an infamous underperforming Jerry Bruckheimer-produced Middle Eastern fantasy epic base...
2021-06-27 18:28:33 +0000 UTC
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Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!
Escape From Vault Disney remains on hiatus for the month of June, but in the meantime here's the second of three BONUS MINISODES! This one's a minisode-length State Of The Parks segment on the origins of the newly-opened Avengers Campus at Disney California Adventure, and the history of Marvel's connection to both Disney and Universal parks.
2021-06-15 20:25:30 +0000 UTC
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There was no minisode this week and the Prince of Persia episode isn't quite ready to release yet, but I didn't want the week to pass without giving SOME sort of exclusive to you, my beloved patrons. So, here's the PRECONCEPTIONS segment of the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time episode. Enjoy!
2021-06-13 00:40:36 +0000 UTC
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Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!
Escape From Vault Disney is taking a hiatus for the month of June, but in the meantime here's the first of three BONUS MINISODES! In this one, we present various outtakes from the Go Figure, Spider-Man (1981), Clouds and Pixar Popcorn episodes!
2021-06-01 19:51:11 +0000 UTC
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