Meredith

a few september images

acadia in october : self portraits

i have been so low the last few weeks. everything feels hard. i have been going through a lot of physical change as well as emotional change. an awareness of how some of even the "tiniest" hurts and traumas have impacted my relationship to people, with anyone really.

i feel unsure about how to go about my desire to create and my desire to share what i create. everything feels like a question mark.

these last few days have been easier. i have been wondering about my emotional sta...

expired roll in the woods on a tree stump.

currently photos 1, 2, 8 and 11 are my favorites of this batch.

bath time

my account is back up! it was suspended for a bit because of guidelines i was violating that i didn’t realize. sadly i had to remove a lot of posts but now i am able to share again. i hope to eventually have a subscription based spot on my website where i don’t have to abide by anyone else’s guidelines on what to share. but for now patreon it still is.

a love poem with no name

i was in the garden all weekend.

my hand on your back,

you showing me the way you like to be touched,

up the spine, grasps at your hair -

a light soft pulling you closer.

the first of the flowers came when you invited me to lay down next to you.

you let me cry and get the tears on your cheek.

you told me you cry every day.

you wanted me there.

like that.

the next flowers bloomed as soon as you asked to kiss me.

i felt the borag...

expired roll - gone wrong?

i was the most excited to get these photos back from indie film lab and so sad when i got the email that they didn't turn out. and i definitely wish you could see more detail but i actually do still like them a lot. especially the ones of the shadow of the flower on my face. i just need to remember that expired rolls = shoot in sunlight, not backlit. and maybe not buy suuuch expired rolls.

BTS flower morning (video this time)

this was SUCH a fun morning for me!

i was floating between pressing flowers, dancing, and taking photos!

and i pray pray pray to the gods i don't believe in that the film comes back and looks even half as good as it looked in my mind while i was taking the photos.

this is the link for the BTS half-hour video that i condensed into a minute.

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/604859526 2021-09-14 14:57:23 +0000 UTC View Post

BTS of some photos i should be getting back this week 💕

i visited a dear friend two weekends ago, and they had this beautiful bath that i was able to bathe in 4 times while there and took a few photos the one morning i was home alone.

medium format under the laurels

i shared two of these medium format images in my post titled "know me" and these are the other three that i really loved. 

journal entry from july 11 2021 and a lil pic of my current project


distracting. everything i love (lol we all know love isn't the correct word for it but in my fucked up brain that is just addicted and craving it feels like love is correct. just so DESPERATE really.) and everything i crave, is it just a distraction?

a way to get me out of my head, or into my head. sex with someone new. sugar. going on my phone. hiking? eating. always eating though? marco polo? this, writing?

i want something that feels so fucking good. or...

🌿

and the last roll i shot for bees & bones. these photos were my favorite.

know me?


august 20 2021

my anxiety primarily comes from shame. fear. shame. fear. shame. one in the same? i get soo much anxiety around social interactions. especially with new people. especially with new people who i think i will like a lot and i want them to like me too. but not that i just want them to like me, i want them to really KNOW me…

and i actually think if they truly knew me then they would like me. and then my anxiety gets in the way because i so badly want to be known th...

🍃

more from my shoot for bees & bones (with some edited to black and white as well)

underwater film

disposable camera part 1

sharing all the images that came out of this disposable camera. these ones were from me and gideons camping trip we took without nalcoah a few weeks ago✨

more june.

new billie. all i'm listening to today.

in the woods with the laurel flowers

all over the place with the colors in this set and i love it. included two of my favorites in black and white as well 💕

first underwater photos in 2021

favorite spot in NY

two days after

the first four photos are the last of an expired 800 ISO roll. the rest are from a roll of kodak 200 shot at 800 ISO. these are all of the images i shot on this day. all shot on my Olympus OM 10.

honey and flowers.

i made this set of photos after one of the hardest things happened to me. the idea of covering myself in honey and flowers was therapeutic in a way i never expected. i didn't realize how much i would dislike being covered in honey like that. it completely took over all of my senses. i couldn't focus on much else. this is the entire set. every photo from this set, i'm sharing.

more blooms

the first blooms of spring

a few weeks ago

first photos in our new home

being here feels like taking a breath that i have been needing for a long time. so thankful for this space.

journal entry post anxiety attack - March 2021

went on a walk. cried when i got to the beautiful mossy spot with the rocks on the white trail. got further along. cried looking at the green lit trail of moss in front of me and then comparing it to the made up trail to the side of me that was dull and covered with leaves. felt scared of bears looking at the beautiful path in front of me. turned around and started walking back. felt the wind on my body and saw the wind moving the leaves and cried sad beautiful happy tears because i can feel ...

early morning on assateague island.

it’s been a while since i’ve loved nearly every image of a set pf photos i made. but i love all of these ones. the last one is my favorite and i plan on making some prints of that one. ✨

assateague - a morning alone

screen grabs from a video i made

mirror plus film plus some time alone.

early mornings spent the best way i know how

strange exposures that i love