civvie11

PETTY THIEF #4

Thief is back! A video that's way more fun to make than DOS Trash! Fuck DOS trash! 

This one is also extra long - four whole missions! It felt like a natural way to break up the series since these are all about collecting artifacts to get into The Haunted Cathedral, which would be an awesome episode to do in October that I probably won't have time to squeeze in with my other spooky October videos. 

Been trying to make these better since Thief can be a dry game by itself....

The Varginha Incident - Vicious Cycles

This may be the worst video game I've ever played. Really, truly, sickeningly awful. In a way that I've purposely mixed some of the game audio lower than usual because of how ear-splitting and shitty it is. This is a curse, do not thank me for this, The Varginha Incident is the toxic sludge scraped from the bottom of the barrel after that barrel was buried in a landfill. Petty Thief #4 is coming next time thank christ someone please help me dear god it hurts I could put out a video that was n...

QUAKE 2 - WELCOME TO THE MACHINE

So I been working on this video for about three weeks and the entire thing was like pulling teeth. Quake 2 is a punishingly boring game to talk about and the constant "Pro Quake 2" posts get to stop now because doing a Pro episode on Quake 2 would be like doing a mukbang video on 10 gallons of oatmeal. I'm looking forward to the DOS trash I have lined up for the next video because at least I get to feel something again. 

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Patron dis...

BLOOD 2: THE CHOSEN - RAWMASTERED

EDIT: After some feedback and some editing glitches, I've uploaded a new version of the video. It's slightly shorter, fixes some editing glitches, and removes a few Ramsay clips that weren't necessary. I wasn't going to remove them at first to avoid going too far and George Lucas-ing the thing, but I don't think it hurts. 

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Three years.

It's been three years since I made those Blood 2 videos. I had fewer than 10 subs. At the time, the DNA of the show ...

PETTY THIEF #3

Back again with some more Thief, where the game's plot actually starts kicking in and it isn't just "Garrett robs a house," "Garrett robs a tomb," or "Garrett gets hopelessly lost in a labyrinthine torture device disguised as a level in a video game."   

These videos are always fun to make so I really have to get back to doing some DOS trash at some point to wash away all the positive energy. 

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Patron discord link: ...

PRO NUKEM 3D: THE RISE OF SUNSTORM

The long awaited Duke3d episode on the Sunstorm expansions - Duke it out in D.C. and Duke Caribbean: Life's a Beach - two expansions of varying quality. It took a while to get this one out for a couple reasons. Had some technical issues with the voiceover. As a result I spent a lot more time than usual going over the video and trimming/adding. Expansion packs are generally harder to do videos on because there's much less to talk about. Usually, you don't get much besides new levels. The worst...

YOU ARE EMPTY - THE STALINGRAD CHICKEN EMERGENCY

Mmmm mmmm, delicious slavjank - that immediate feeling of "what is this? No seriously, WHAT IS THIS?" when you boot up a game. The confusing gameplay elements taken from different genres, the attempt at survival horror where you have too many resources and your enemies are more confusing than terrifying. The ambitious story told with all the care a microbudget can allow. 

I've been sitting on this one for a while. About a year ago, I tracked down a copy of this game on  the su...

Sales Tax Stuff

I don't have a new video done yet, that will be tomorrow - I just wanted to let everyone know in case Patreon hasn't yet - that pledges are going to be subject to sales tax now depending on where you live. As patreon explained it to me, this means an extra 4% to 11% on pledges. This goes into effect on July 1st and I'm posting this short update to make sure no one gets blindsided by it if they haven't already heard. See you all tomorrow with some peak weird slavjank.

ULTRAWOOD

Civvie's back to shilling for New Blood because they won't put out a shitty game even for free. 

Ultrakill, which I've been playing for a few months now and some of you may have also played the Prelude demo that was on itch.io - is going to be a game that kicks my ass harder than Doom Eternal - and also, the long-awaited Gloomwood demo - an indie immersive sim Thief-like. I wish these games were trash. Videos on trash are way easier to write.

If you're wondering why there are...

Petty Thief #2

Back to video games, finally! Nice and easy, unlike the last video this one came together pretty quickly, although I've been trying to experiment with audio because I've gotten complaints from speaker users about the voiceover being too loud compared to game clips, so the VO is slightly raised in this one to try to make it easier on them along with some other equalization tweaks.

This was one of those videos that I felt really motivated while making because of how fun things just happen...

DOOM ANNIHILATION BUT ON BITCHUTE

So as soon as people started watching the previously posted Doom Annihilation video, Universal hit it with a claim and blocked it worldwide. This is the fifth upload I've done for this video on YouTube, and while I've submitted a dispute, I've uploaded it to BitChute for the time being. Which sucks. 

https://www.bitchute.com/video/1KwM3HAKj9Fo/

Looks like no YouTube revenue for this one. This...

DAIKATANA - THE GREAT GREEN DRAGON

Hello, valued patrons! The sheer number of you, especially those who pledged in the last couple of weeks, is staggering and humbling. Thank you all! Please accept this enormous, superlong, maximum-effort dissection of the infamous Daikatana, a game I have been immersed in for too long. This is easily the biggest and most complicated production for any video I've ever done, mostly because of the ending, which itself took about five days over the last couple months and was 3/4 done even before ...

PRO POSTAL 4 EARLY ACCESS JANKY ALPHA

Finally! (He says, as an introduction to half of the uploads)

Been planning this one for a while obviously. I was waiting for Postal 4 to be in a better state before doing a video. Also had to upgrade my PC in order for it to not look and run like complete trash. A recent performance updated helped a lot. Now I get it running between 50-60 FPS most of the time and I all I needed was a GTX 2060 RTX and 16 GB of RAM! Oh yeah! 

I expect to fully jump into the Daikatana video nex...

PETTY THIEF #1

UPDATE: Re-uploaded an ad-free version of the updated video to link here. GLHF 4/20 NICE LOL

Another video so soon? Well, I've been trying to start this series for months. 

It took a while to figure out how to tackle it. Unlike most things I cover on this channel, Thief is a very slow game that requires patience. I don't think this episode is the best the series will offer since the first couple missions of Thief are the least interesting. Except for that hand of glory, ugh, ...

PRO NUKEM 3D: THE BIRTH

I took a long break from Duke Nukem after DNF. Once you've gone through that disaster, you really don't want to touch the character again for a while, as if he's radioactive, which explains why Take Two isn't doing anything with him (#FreeDuke). I promise there's enough Randy Pitchford hate in this video especially after his most recent debacle which hit the internet while I was in the middle of writing this video. Good timing, Randy, you greasy bastard! 

Hope you're all keeping sa...

I Love/Hate Doom Eternal

After all this time, after all the waiting, after all the "get off your ass and make a Doom Eternal video, Civvie" it's finally here, and you can all bask in my uncontroversial and 100% correct takes on the newest Doom game. 

No, but really - this game ended up being way more divisive than I thought. I expect vigorous debate in the comments section for the weeks and months to come. I don't know if id went too far with this one, however if another Doom game comes out following up on...

Witchaven - Curse of Capstone

Capstone. Capstone. 

Their name instills terror in the hearts of all who lived through the PC gaming scene in the 90's. At least it should. It's been almost two years now since Tekwar, which is a shame. I remember thinking I would start every "season" with a Capstone game. We're close though. March 17th will be the three year anniversary of the show, three years since Corridor 7, two years since Tekwar, and hopefully it won't take another year to do Witchaven 2. I'd planne...

DOOM

DOOM.

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Patron discord link: https://discord.gg/bEGhHEh 

If you'd like to have a different name in the credits than what you pledged with, leave me a comment, or DM me on here or Twitter or discord or whatever. If your name is wrong, not included, or anything else, shoot me a message calling me an asshole and telling me to fix it. Or if you want one of those fancy colored names ...

PRO DOOM 3

Been a while, right? 

I took a short five day vacation last week to catch the flu and that was fun. If I sound like I'm recovering from a serious respiratory illness, that's why. More than usual, anyway.

The TNT: Evilution video got scrapped because it was crushingly boring. It felt like half of it was looking at the maps in a level editor and saying "wow, this is trash, why would anyone do this?" So you've all missed out on about 20 minutes of explaining why a thing is borin...

ADVENTURES IN BLADE RUNNING

Long ago, my channel did an adventure game one time and ever since I've been itching to do another one. They're fun to edit. Blade Runner, Westwood's bonafide classic point-and-click got re-released on GoG not too long ago, running properly under Windows 10. It had been a few years since I'd done a playthrough of it and unsurprisingly, the randomized nature of the game's story and  characters makes it somewhat easy to manipulate to get the kind of ending you want and the game's quality d...

Terminator Resistance - No Hate But What We Make

Another Terminator game? From 2019? 

I played this and it was so average but... fine? Chalk it up to low expectations. This game got a raw deal and I'm sure there's plenty to the story we haven't heard. It was an interesting video to make anyway. 

(With apologies to the Angry Joe fans.)  

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Patron discord link: https://discord.gg/bEGhHEh 

If you'd ...

PRO WANG: THE LOST EPISODES

I swear I didn't forget! 

Been over a year since Pro Wang #3. I wanted to move on to the much more in-demand Blood, and Doom. And Quake. And what a year that's been! I think I had something like 5k subs around the time of Pro Wang and only 28 patrons. 

So thanks to all of you for sticking around and contributing! I love you all, except Max. He knows what he did.  

In the new year, there are going to be some changes. Too many FPS games, definitely, and after th...

THE RISE OF THE TRIAD LUDICHRISTMAS SPECIAL OF INCREDIBLE POWER

FINALLY.

I wanted this to be out earlier, but I was hit with a cold recently which delayed it significantly. You'll probably be able to hear it in the voiceover despite medication and the 70 or so re-takes I did to try to hide it. Or maybe not, I always sound congested. 

A quick note about the snow:

The background behind the 4:3 footage is snowy. I wasn't sure how this was going to play and if the audience would hate it, so I uploaded another version of this video witho...

Pro Postal: Corkscrew Rules

It's been ages since we've had a nice, freewheeling Postal video. Too bad it had to be on Corkscrew Rules, which is absolute trash.

I've said in the past that Postal videos are the most fun to make, and there's even glimmers of that in here, because of the ability to turn any situation in Postal 2 on it's head with a little gasoline.

Or a lot of gasoline. 

Stay tuned, kids, we're doing a big one for Christmas this year, and I bet you'll be able to deduce what it is from...

A Quick Look At Wrath: Aeon of Ruin

Wrath is a good game. I enjoy it. Full disclosure: 3d Realms sent me a key because that's a thing that happens now. It's a quality product so far and I would have dropped money on it regardless. 

After this, I'm going to be taking a break until the holiday is over, after that... well I might have teased in the Postal Redux video about doing Corkscrew Rules.

Remember that? 

Yeah, it was fucking ages ago. 

But now I have all my footage recorded for it. And...

Star Wars: Dark Forces - Steamboat Wendigo

PEW PEW AHHH! YOU'RE NOT AUTHORIZED IN THIS PEWPEW GAH!!! 

We'll be going back to bad games soon enough I think. For now, because of the increasing Star Wars hype, and because we've avoided the topic for long enough on this channel - STAR WARS: DARK FORCES, one of the mightiest contributions from extended universe, starring certified BAD MOTHERFUCKER Kyle Katarn, pre-beard, pre-force powers, still a stone-cold stormtrooper killer. Even in DOSBox without vertical mouse aim this game...

PRO-ISH DOOM 64

Oh no, Civvie, you skipped right over TNT!

Eh, maybe I'll do TNT later. It's kind of boring if you're not into antique sector furniture.

This is the good stuff. The interesting, colorful, and OH GOD YOUTUBE'S COMPRESSION HAS MURDERED THIS GAME... I might have to try the old TotalBuscuit trick of uploading in a higher resolution to get a better bitrate, which hasn't worked for me in the past probably because of something that I fucked up. 

YouTube doesn't do well with co...

Alien: Resurrection (PS1) - Player Expendable

What?! A console game?! 

Oh, yeah. A survival horror shooter on the Playstation 1. Some of you might have played this, and if you did, you are not alone. There is help. You can recover.

This is one I've wanted to make a video on since the beginning. The time was right, especially since about six months ago I found out you can play it with a mouse! Maybe you've seen the infamous GameSpot review talking about the controls: 

2019-10-28 17:52:12 +0000 UTC View Post

Clive Barker's Undying - The Spooky Button

It's that time of year again. Spooky stuff, or what passed for spooky stuff back in 2001. After DNF, it was incredibly satisfying to play something that isn't trash. I'm hoping to do it again soon.

There's also going to be uh... SOMETHING happening tomorrow that you might hear about related to a franchise this channel has gotten a lot of mileage out of. When that happens... that'll be the next video. You'll know when you see it. 

Oh, and I've been informed there are two chapt...

ODDS AND ENDS - BEHIND THE SCENES

While the next video is going to be some spooky Halloween stuff (gameplay is already recorded), I have all of this "making-of" background content that I've been saying "I should post this kind of stuff on Patreon" for months. Now is as good a time as any. 

THE BOTS:

I make the 3d Modeled stuff for the show in an ancient program called Milkshape 3d because I don't know how to use real modeling programs and I try to cover the seams of it in photoshop. I was alw...