ACL: 26. I spin stories, not webs.
Chapter 26: I spin stories, not webs.
2024-01-20 23:18:18 +0000 UTC View Post
Fabled Webs posts
ACL is live.
Let's clear up the last of my commissions, shall we?
Edit: By request of someone with rerolls, chat collectively has 3 banked rerolls to use today.
2024-01-20 22:21:53 +0000 UTC View PostApocalypse: 1.11 Liftoff
Preface
Phew. I think this is the last of my commissions. Oh, and another ACL live. I finished earlier than I expected so who knows, I might write something else.
Liftoff 1.11
June 2015
Sabrina was right. It could be another ice-adapted pokemon like the sandshrew. Maybe it was some kind of skorupi or trapinch. Or maybe it was an entirely different pokemon none of us had ever heard of like thos...
2024-01-19 15:58:06 +0000 UTC View PostTroll: 14. Function? To inspire SAINT, of course!
Preface
And here's Troll to check off my commissions list.
Chapter 14: Function? To inspire SAINT, of course!
Blaise Zabini
Hogwarts, Great Britain
Club Day, or really, Club Weekend, began right after lunch. All things considered, it wasn’t too dissimilar to what I remembered as a university librarian. Most of the older students were focused on catching up with their frie...
2024-01-15 17:50:20 +0000 UTC View PostTHG: 2.1 Spit of Spite
Spit of Spite 2.1
John Soprano
'You know, this is all your fault,' Shirou pointed out, like the smug, Archer-lite bastard that he was. 'I'm not smug. The "smug" you're hearing is called "being a logical human being."'
'Shut up, Shirou. No one could have predicted this.'
'Really?' he gasped theatrically. 'You mean giving away one of the most iconic Noble Phantasms in history to a little girl,...
2024-01-09 23:56:48 +0000 UTC View PostACL is live.
I'm going to do a bunch of short-ish lives while I write in the background over the next several weeks to meet my quota.
2024-01-09 21:09:11 +0000 UTC View PostHomeless Bunny 21
Homeless Bunny 21
Tianyu Yue
In the end, making sure the bottles of panacea weren’t wasted was as simple as a text message to Ozpin. The man had a ridiculous amount of pull in the city and having them be taken from evidence to a secure hospital was a simple matter.
I was still a domestic terrorist though. Apparently, there wasn’t much he could do about the court of public opinion.
I put my questionable criminal status out of mind i...
2024-01-08 15:24:28 +0000 UTC View PostSpoon: 4.10 Fish
Aaron’s Pokemon
- Artoria (Kirlia)
- Jeanne (Flaaffy)
- Durvasa (Mankey)
- Unnamed (Egg)
Fish 4.10
Aaron Fulan
Petalburg Woods
On the plus side, the twins and the Maple siblings got along great. They agreed that I was the coolest trainer their age, which did wonderful things for my ego. As a big brother, I couldn’t be prouder. They spent a solid half hour geeking out...
2024-01-06 04:48:37 +0000 UTC View PostLT: 8.4 Respite
Preface
Here's the first commission. I'll get around to running the lives next week (when I'm not with relatives). In the meantime, there're plenty of other things I can post.
Respite 8.4
2005, July 8: Phoenix, AZ, USA
“Morning, mom,” I mumbled as I came down for breakfast. It was amazing how seamlessly I reintegrated my old routine into the family. New house, new sister, but the same old schedule ...
2024-01-03 17:58:50 +0000 UTC View PostMonthly Poll: February 2024
Wow, congratulations. I really didn't think A Colorful Life would win. I'm unfortunately in California with family until the fifth, but I promise I'll host lives as appropriate. A few commissioners also wanted ACL, so I don't owe you two lives, I owe you four.
Of the ten updates I have planned this month, not one of them is PWP. Wild.
***IMPORTANT***
If you are a commissioner and have not clarified what you would like to commission next mont...
2024-01-02 05:30:47 +0000 UTC View PostTHG: 1.5.5 Parahumans Online
Preface
So much of the shit that happened deserves PHO that I'm just going to crunch things down. It really should be a lot longer than it is, but I can only emulate you forum degenerates for so long without losing IQ points.
As always, everything is Aria's fault. Why do Singapore noodles taste like knockoff Hong Kong noodles? Because Aria.
Why is soggy leaf water so much worse than the glory of roasted, creamy beans...
2023-12-23 15:53:48 +0000 UTC View PostTHG: 1.5 The Holy Grill
The Holy Grill 1.5
John Soprano
'So by "clean house," you meant you'd… have a merry chat with the bank robbers?' Shirou asked. If raw, soul-deep exasperation was a flavor, it'd taste saltier than the Dead Sea.
It was delicious.
'Yes, Shirou. I'm going to have a nice, earnest chat with some troubled young women.'
'Are you going to offer them your meat candy too?'
'Your sarcasm is noted and un...
2023-12-23 05:30:51 +0000 UTC View PostTHG: 1.4 The Holy Grill
The Holy Grill 1.4
John Soprano
I made maple-glazed bacon. With a bit of ancho chili and cayenne powder for heat, it tasted positively divine. It was salty, sweet, smoky, and with the perfect amount of chew. It was basically meat candy. And it was all mine. I didn't have the room in my store's smoker to make large batches, not if I wanted to upkeep my brisket production, so I wasn't sharing.
Without even looking, I made a throwing gesture wi...
2023-12-23 01:46:37 +0000 UTC View PostMonthly Poll: January 2024
***IMPORTANT***
If you are a commissioner and have not clarified what you would like to commission for the month of January, please let me know soon-ish. Otherwise, I will assume you do not have a commission for me and are giving me money out of the kindness of your heart.
In any case, let's have a poll to determine what my 2 updates will be.
2023-12-17 01:33:43 +0000 UTC View PostTHG: 1.3 The Holy Grill
Preface
I said this was a one-shot. It's still a one-shot so long as I can read it in one sitting, right? Right?
Shut up. I'm not in denial.
The Holy Grill 1.3
John Soprano
I held out my right hand, left hand clasped firmly over the wrist. Knees slightly bent, back arched forward a tad, I focused on the space before me with a determination matched only by Sakura's thrist for ging...
2023-12-16 17:00:20 +0000 UTC View PostTHG: 1.2 The Holy Grill
Preface
This is, as with most things in my life, Aria's fault. It's also Bapping's fault. Their validation is like crack to me.
The Holy Grill 1.2
John Soprano
I was out back, taking advantage of the brief lull in kitchen duties to pull my recently cleaned dish rags off my oversized drying rack.
'The Monohoshi Zao shouldn't be used like this,' Shirou griped.
'Its name mea-' 2023-12-15 17:49:38 +0000 UTC View Post
ACL Omake: Let's Play: Legacy of Steel, Part the Second
Let's Play: Legacy of Steel, Part the Second
Amy Dallon
By the third day of our gaming nights, we'd established a pattern. Vicky and I did our homework, grabbed some snacks, and crawled onto my bed so we could huddle together with our laptops. Vicky had always been a bit of a geek, appearances aside; she used to love Uber and Leet streams before they started doing stupid shit like beating up prostitutes.
It was nice, having the excuse to han...
2023-12-12 02:26:47 +0000 UTC View PostACL Omake: Let's Play: Legacy of Steel, Part the First
Preface
This one’s for the player. He knows who he is. Rather than write an AU sidestory, I decided to do an omake of the PMD series.
It’s just a two-part summary of Amy and Vicky’s reactions as they play through the game. Is it canon? Ehh, it’s not not canon lol.
Let’s Play: Legacy of Steel, Part the First
Amy Dallon
THG: 1.1 The Holy Grill
Preface
I blame Aria, Dragon Lord of Tea. May his tranquili-tea be disturbed by chuuni little sisters. May his sereni-tea be overturned by oni. May his tea only be referred to as soggy leaf juice.
Down with the tea dragon! Rise, oh paladins of coffee! Champion the cause of beans soaked in cat shit!
The Holy Grill 1.1
John Soprano
I let out a contented sigh as I pulled the very fi...
2023-12-08 16:35:26 +0000 UTC View PostHey, look! A poll! And news, oh my!
No, not the monthly poll for January's stories. We'll get to that in another week or two. I realized however that I forgot to ask in the year-end feedback survey: Which of these sites did you first find me on?
***NEWS***
Now for the announcements. If you do not care for the state of the Patreon as a whole, feel free to skip this. It admittedly only affects a fraction of you.
Those of you who filled out the year-end feedback survey, t...
2023-12-02 01:59:03 +0000 UTC View PostTroll: 13. Fly high, Icarus!
Preface
Well, I felt like giving you guys at least one last gift before I check out for the month. First off, thankyou to all 200 of you who filled out this survey. I even had results coming in from people who weren't even on my Patreon because I guess some of you shared the link. Not that I mind one way or the other, I think the sample size is big enough that it's not important.
I'm going to take...
2023-11-30 14:41:20 +0000 UTC View PostPWP: 4.11 Seal
Preface
FUCK. I was supposed to schedule this for tomorrow (because I'll be on a flight). I misclicked so you get it early lol.
I suppose it's a good chance for me to (mostly) end the mini-arc in Damascus so whatever. Can you imagine only a week's happened since the FMA transition?
Seal 4.11
Lily Tondo
2010, November 27: Damascus, Syria
“Bubblegum Crisis!...
2023-11-23 19:34:42 +0000 UTC View PostPWP: 4.10 Seal
Preface
Happy Turkey Day. I know it's cliche, but I truly am grateful for you all. In a single year, this patreon has blown up to almost 1k patrons. I can't really express my gratitude any other way so have a free chapter.
Oh, and have some free turkey facts:
Commercial turkeys have doubled in size since the 1960s due to overfeeding and genetic engineering. The world's heaviest turkey ever weighed in at an impressive...
2023-11-23 19:30:13 +0000 UTC View PostACL: 25. BIRD BIRD BIRD IS THE WORD
Chapter 25: BIRD BIRD BIRD IS THE WORD
Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Type: Flying
I had a lot to think about as I flew back to the Egg House as a murkrow. There were so many things happening at once, demands on my time that couldn’t be ignored. I couldn’t recall ever feeling this way, even in my old life.
Back then, crises were bigger, often continental or even universal in scope, but there was only ever one “v...
2023-11-21 20:20:53 +0000 UTC View PostACL: 24. A live? Already? Natu shabby, eh? Ehh?
Chapter 24: A live? Already? Natu shabb
2023-11-21 20:19:02 +0000 UTC View PostACL: 23. Out of the Frying Pan(Pan)
Chapter 23: Out of the Frying Pan(Pan)
2023-11-21 20:17:50 +0000 UTC View PostACL: 22.5. Parahumans Online
Chapter 22.5: Parahumans Online
Welcome to the Parahumans Online message boards.
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ACL: 22. AAA games are hard. Why did I let you do this?
Chapter 22: AAA games are hard. Why did I let you do this?
Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Monday, January 31, 2011
Type: Normal
Yesterday was a great day. It started out with me trolling random people for shits and giggles and ended with making Amy some oran berries to experiment with. I didn’t really know what to expect from this, I wasn’t a doctor despite the honorary title the New Hampshire Board of Medicine gave me, but I did know that the me...
2023-11-21 20:16:01 +0000 UTC View PostACL: 21.5. Amy Dallon
Chapter 21.5: Amy Dallon
Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Blake was… Blake. He wasn’t human, practically an entire new species unto himself, sometimes literally. He did things that made no sense to anyone but himself, behaving like he was raised in a whole different world. I never knew what would happen when I was around him.
But he was, dare I say it, fun.
The strangest part of it was that even <...
2023-11-21 20:14:26 +0000 UTC View PostACL: 21. I am the night!
Chapter 21: I am the night!
Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Type: Dark
The clock struck midnight and my power shifted. I was half expecting another dud, or perhaps an earthly type like ground, rock, or ice. Those seemed inordinately common though perhaps that was just the luck of the draw. I didn’t know; I got into Arcadia on a writing scholarship, not a math one.
Instead, as if to confirm the necessity of my nighttime...
2023-11-21 20:13:48 +0000 UTC View Post