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Chrono Cross 33: Initializing EricNet [Sea of Eden]

Please insert disc 2. This time we’re closing out characters with third techs, jumping on a tombstone, giving a book to a homeopathic surfer, eating children, pushing blobs for butterflies, kicking turds, visiting our doomed dimensional twin, diseasing opponents, cooking with a brother, inspiring a mermaid, pushing through fate distortions, and unloading Fate lore. Eric is the fake net in this one.

01:07 Intro | 02:58 Tech Bonanza: Greco | 09:00 Tech Bonanza: Doc | 11:10 Tech Bonanza:...

Parasite Eve 11: Blood History [Day Six, Liberty Island and Navy Cruiser]

No one can believe this shit. On Parasite Eve’s final episode, we’re dramatically sitting on an Egyptian throne, assembling the ugly mama, gobbling immunosuppressants, screaming the name of my slimed wife, blowing up helicopters, becoming more monster, properly modifying our gun, melting into the slime pile, engraving bullshit into guns, fighting an infant, igniting upon reentry, running away, accepting unfair revelations, going back to the opera, starting a revolution, pretending to play...

Chrono Cross 32: Master Supplier Hammer [New Marbule (Home)]

We’ve got our Serge boy body back. With that we’re populating the island of misfit toys, dreaming of vegetables, resonating a sword, changing animations, divining dragon falls, industrializing Marbule, marrying mermaids, creating an iridescent super axe, grand slamming Janice out of the fighting pit, and getting some story-based third techs. Dreams exist in the temporal vortex.

01:30 Intro | 02:59 Turnip | 11:20 Einlanzers | 15:40 Divine Dragon Falls | 17:05 Marbule 2.0 | 34:14 Hamm...

Parasite Eve 10: Cops Looting Dinosaurs [Day Five, Museum of Natural History]

Every game has a Krelian’s Lab. This time we’re talking body part strength, following ghost Klamp, answering trivia questions for medical supplies, slaying troodons, walking through the rainforest, admiring Olmec colossal heads, seeing the skeleton family, stopping by the gift tent, reanimating a T-Rex, confronting the mad scientist, culturing liver cells, burning to death instead of going to therapy, and beheading a triceratops. The cops are looting the dinosaurs, just as it was foretold...

Chrono Cross 31: Serge, Dick Out [Fort Dragonia (Home)]

Blushing, I walk the royal carpet. This time we’re answering riddles, introducing Orcha to himself, forgetting to save, recruiting ghosts as techs, fighting Evil Serge, learning the history of the world, absorbing reptite lore, transforming and getting naked, and receiving the title of the game. When you’re a boy you’re no longer in the dark middle chapter.

01:13 Intro | 03:24 Criosphinx | 12:11 Guldove Emblem Showcase | 19:33 Return to Fort Dragonia | 27:06 Planetarium Light Show...

Parasite Eve 9: Genuflecting Above a Manhole [Day Five, Chinatown Sewers]

Don’t learn the system until it forces your hand. On this episode we’re detailing soylent, separating cats from rats, debating grenade launcher density, smelling rotten meat, evading darkness in the sewer grid, coating the walls in people slime, not turning valves, evading criticals, inserting disc 2, changing rat and spider pallets, and fighting a giant enemy crab. Dead police only provide common drops.

01:22 Intro | 06:14 Chinatown | 11:39 Sewer | 15:43 Water Treatment | 22:47 Sub...

Chrono Cross 30: Positive Bird Energy [White Dragon + Forbidden Isle (Home)]

Listen to the planet’s woes, humans. As we consecrate our dragon destiny, we’re also wrecking creatures of legend, watching Orlha kick ass then kicking Orlha’s ass, referencing a dimensional twin, receiving a Dragon Emblem, jumping in odor holes, receiving Snakes & Orbs, discovering a man with retrograde amnesia, uncovering his problematic relationship, thirsting for blood, sating on blood, wearing plates, meeting Doreen, and obtaining the GrandDream. Things make sense logically. Em...

An assortment of news and updates about this podcast

I haven't done a post in a bit. It is time to post.

Chrono Cross recording is complete, including two more upcoming bonus episodes. The main series caps off at 40 episodes, including the New Game Plus endings. For upcoming bonus pods, we have a Character Tournament and the ever popular Explain to Spouse episode, which we recorded last weekend. 

Parasite Eve recording is complete, capping off at 11 episodes. No plans for the next miniseries ye...

Review: NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139...

Join us for a review of a brief retrospective on the original NieR and a review of NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139...

Parasite Eve 8: Respective Jerkoff Rooms [Day Four, St. Francis Hospital]

Everyone is either dead or evacuated. This time we’re repairing wires, rescuing live human beings, duplicating trading cards, fiddling with liquid nitrogen, masturbating at a doctor’s office, moving a centrifuge to push a button, tying back to the book, dispatching jets, tracking down sperm, slaying a large brained spider, migrating mitochondria, evading a plane crash, and regrouping at the base. Just give us healthcare. 

00:26 Intro | 01:58 Fuse | 05:26 Examination Room | 13:4...

Chrono Cross 29: Talkin' About Dragons [Earth Dragon + Green Dragon + Fire Dragon + Water Dragon]

What powers doth thou seek? While we scour the world for relics, we’re jumping in the sand boil, breaking down the Fossicker, blowing up local wildlife, combining philosophy with destiny and violence, observing the sacred pilfering percentage, stealing plates, getting Chris the Beeba Flute, riding bugs to islands, facing land anger, conscripting more children, playing the Jurassic Beat, and murdering awful dinosaurs. We sure do seem to be living in troubled times, man.

01:07 Intro | 0...

Parasite Eve 7: Poor Questions to Ask Your Ghost Sister [Day Four, St. Francis Hospital Basement]

Is there a sperm bank nearby? This time we’re encouraging our buddy, wondering why Eve attacked the precinct, trading mod permits for cards, guarding the base, loving jank, fumbling with card keys, cutting the power, shooting slime, combining guns with grenade launchers, collecting fuses, ejecting bouncing brains, and wondering how electricity might kill us. Don’t use the microwave at work.

01:15 Intro | 04:04 NYPD #17 | 15:34 Driving | 18:00 St. Francis Hospital Lobby | 23:37 St. F...

Chrono Cross 28: Please, Someone Call Me a Manly Mariner [Magical Dreamers + Black Dragon]

Aye, landlubber…!? This time we’re reforming Fargo, motivating mistreated laborers, missing metaphors, conducting a speech synthesis play, dissecting stage plays in RPG’s, exterminating all monsters in Marbule, listening across dimensions, recruiting a dancer, barely animating a dragon, and killing the village mascot. I bet the dreamer is ten times as nasty as this nightmare.

01:03 Intro | 02:25 Fargo v Fargo | 10:25 Magically Dreaming | 21:54 Concert Debrief | 32:09 Home Marbule ...

Parasite Eve 6: Abolish the Police [Day Three, NYPD Precinct #17]

Let go, Ben. Sheeva is sick. Today we’re sorting through a wrecked police station, trashing a Shinto charm, receiving ammo from dead cops, stealing desks, misjudging gun damage, disappearing Torres, fighting werewolves in an interrogation room, witnessing a dog mutation, denying first aid, heating up bullets, slaying a beloved friend, and evaporating viscera. You can blame guns.

01:30 Intro | 03:10 NYPD #17 | 11:44 Basement | 15:40 Third Floor | 21:45 Fourth Floor | 30:42 Sheeva Showd...

Chrono Cross 27: Our Two Finest Soldiers and Two Idiots [Isle of the Damned (Another)]

You are Lynx-kinds. Well, ok. Today we’re playing the Yggdrasil’s theme, Kidding with Marcy, protecting Riddel from scum, tracking down the Spice Boys, spitting exclamation points, flashing back to adolescence, accepting friend flowers, failing to express admiration, proposing marriage, possibly potentially killing Dario, fighting our friends, making a celebrity cameo, combining magicians, bullshitting a Revive from the sewers, and canonizing Zoah as gay. We hope to see you again, sometim...

Parasite Eve 5: Her Outstanding Genetic Mutation [Day Three, Soho and Museum of Natural History]

Road rules don’t apply here anymore. Today we’re waking up in a soggy bedroom, looting a pharmacy, making tapes, refusing to upgrade, practicing poor gun safety, stealing large guns, modifying other guns, breaking into a lab, extracting gel-like substances, looking at blood, mutating mitochondria, citing Dawkins, ignoring evacuation orders, and threatening a scientist. It’s too late to do anything now.

01:00 Intro | 02:35 Soho | 08:26 Pharmacy | 13:50 Gun Store | 19:34 Urban Noise...

Chrono Cross 26: Fluid of the Eyes [Surprise Attack!!!]

The ground here is hot. This time we’re confronting Radius with Radius, rubbing a child’s head, getting in a real time turn based fight, boarding the reflection bridge, churning resolution from flashbacks, putting everyone in this game in our party, reflecting our image on the mirror of truth, finding out Marcy is nine fucking years old, hearing Harle’s plot legends, telling space aliens about tears, solving snake statue puzzles, and finding the true bastards. The ground here has cooled...

Parasite Eve 4: A Tetsuo Amalgamation [Day Two, Central Park]

Come, my dear, let’s go for a ride. This time we’re getting a break in the case, retiring a dog, speeding out of a parking garage, igniting clothing, slaughtering zoo animals, attending a concert during a mitochondrial pandemic, reducing to slime, following a child ghost, boss fighting worms, meeting a hot horse, reuniting with my autonomous son, denying the military, evacuating the city, and punishing racism with fire. The holiday season brings joy to us all.

01:03 Intro | 02:06 NY...

Chrono Cross 25: Legendary Antifa Supersolider [Back to Viper Manor (Another)]

We are the Chrono Crossers. Today we’re jailing the Fake Net, playing bad cop bad cop, standing by in the parlor, putting Norris on Norris, making the Hell Cook, unmasking the spy, turning valves in the sewers, fighting a big gross bug, freeing prisoners, fighting a quaffid seed addict, fighting a cyborg, fighting a mech, refighting a mech, and trampling poor Porre officers with dragons. I have no time to be listening to your idealistic theories.

01:02 Intro | 04:00 Viper Manor Exteri...

Parasite Eve 3: Your Favorite Urban Noise [Day Two, Natural History Museum]

Can I evolve out of my appendix? Today we’re framing a town as a police station, chopping it up with Warner and Nix, touching on the Manga, counting desks in the briefing room, meeting German shepherds, expressing a desire for gun control, illegally modifying weapons, making questionable parenting decisions, holding a disaster media briefing, providing citations, chatting up a security guard, and interrogating an irritable scientist. Don’t let the guns own you.

01:28 Intro | 02:58 P...

Chrono Cross 24: A Human Remix [Back to Termina (Another)]

Ye be me!? Today we’re meeting a realistic dragon, acquiring Denadorite, shewing away shadow cats, taking refuge at Gonji’s, finding our living dead dragon mother, hearing Home music in Another world, suspending economic activity, experiencing a mushroom crisis, identifying the Drakehorn grass boy, shutting down Grifter’s Row, not remembering our friends, meeting ourselves again, giving our rich father a seashell, finding a secret room, and befriending some Devas. Prepare thyself for an...

Parasite Eve 2: Police Don't Take Biology [Day One, Part II]

Nucleic domination has finally come to an end. This week we’re following ghost children, witnessing a rat mutation, stepping over burned up guys, interrogating a clown, reporting back to base, reading a diary, growing large hands, smashing piano keys, slaying mutants, heating up, punching a jerko, and riding with Daniel. Please see a doctor for mitochondrial issues.

00:53 Intro | 02:23 Rat | 05:58 Backstage | 12:57 Melissa’s Room | 18:37 Backstage II | 23:05 Piano Eve | 29:43 Sewer ...

Chrono Cross 23: Miguelancholy and the Infinite Sadness [Dead Sea]

The vengeance of the future we killed is about to begin. Today we’re comparing melodies, evaluating Y2K futurism, speculating machine sentience, finding Johnny, spec’ing Zappa, hacking lore with Norris, shopping at the mannequeen mall, missing Doc’s tech, going over Tragedienne’s dialogue, meeting the dragoons in oblivion, watching familiar ghosts, entering the Enertron, denying inevitability, dealing in quantum currency, fighting to return the distortion, and becoming salt for the de...

The Bouncer: 20th Anniversary Retrospective

Yes, we did a The Bouncer one.

01:11 Intro | 02:12 Development Overview & Personal History | 12:12 Prologue | 21:12 Fate Bar | 37:58 Central Square | 41:21 Train Station | 44:24 MSD Cargo Train | 53:26 Emergency Exit | 55:01 Air Carrier | 57:36 Hanging Garden | 01:02:54 Crystal Dome | 01:14:00 Sion Stage 9 | 01:23:51 Kou Stage 9 | 01:26:55 Volt Stage 9 | 01:28:55 Executive Room | 01:31:20 Rocket Tower | 01:32:44 Rocket Tower Basement | 01:37:21 Rocket Tower Deck | 01:43:15 Air Carri...

Parasite Eve 1: Piano Keys and Sick Guitars [Day One, Part I]

Welcome to episode one of our Parasite Eve miniseries! In this audio transmission we’re fondly recalling rental scenarios, ignoring Europe, summarizing a novel, reading a graphic sex scene, getting on the cover of EGM, crying blood from primal eyes, denying the tutorial, ignoring my dick boyfriend, doing a reverse witch trial, punching Dorkman, communicating with cells, flashing back to a hospital, and guilting ammo out of a cop. The worst foe lies within the self, but not me.

01:00 I...

Chrono Cross 22: The Jerrykarl Sword [Isle of the Damned (Home)]

Express your intent to the Einlanzer. On this episode we’re using a crab to quell a storm, knocking on death’s door, debating the morality of a sword, going hard in the paint on the masamune, flashing back to Dario’s final days, using a keepsake mirror to trick trick mirrors, normalizing old bosses, surviving the sadness wave, mending the tragedy of the masamune, dematerializing into the ether, and killing a magic sword. I cannot imagine that spectacle of what lies ahead.

01:04 In...

Chrono Cross 21: Big Time Muppet Show Energy [S.S. Zelbess (Home)]

Rockin, I knew you’d come. This time we’re taking stock of the Zelbess, becoming semi-permanent felines, hurting our back, observing a remorseful pirate, sneaking through a crow’s nest, learning about the power of song, disabling cheaters, confronting Father, falling into a monster fighting pit, stalking a sage, clearly telegraphing a magic concert, recruiting a magician, and befriending a mermaid. Welcome Iron Man. Might is Right. Fighting Spirit.

01:07 Intro | 04:12 Sneff’s Ca...

Terranigma 16: The Original Screaming Hole [Chapter Four]

My girlfriend is my mother again. On the final episode of this miniseries, we’re waking up as an infant, suffering a heel turn, reborning ourselves, obtaining the arms of the hero, accepting avian mail, joining the compatriot caravan, teaming up in the laboratory, pushing buttons at the same time, committing acts of terrorism, merging with a propeller, going back to hell, witnessing Giger’s influence, fighting the dark god twice, enjoying one last day, and knocking on t...

Chrono Cross 20: Repository of Misfit Dumbasses [Marbule (Home) + S.S. Zelbess]

One. Two. Free. While we listening we’re visiting the muppet house, observing  a haunted island, getting lore injections from Toma, stalking a nocturnal mermaid, hopping aboard a kitschy cruise ship, calculating interest in coffee money, watching a magician do actual magic, dealing with post-divergence trauma, disclosing lineage, hovering with fishness, smoking, and losing a rigged game. I want to walk through your body.

01:08 Intro | 03:07 Hermit’s Hideaway | 04:19 Marbule Gho...

Pods of Fate 6: Radical Dreamers, Part VI

We have made it to the final episode of our Radical Dream. In this episode, we tackle  The Enigmatic Gigaweapon: Paradise X and The Shadow Realm and the Goddess of Death. Totally normal stuff, right?

Radical Dreamers may be over, but Pods of Fate will return. Send us your ideas for bonus pods!