amtopmreacts

omg, another update (yes, it's important)

still going to be uploading ofc. i hope this makes sense! if not ask questions below!

going to start porting the content over tonight, i will aim to have it all completed by jan. 1

live updates:

12/11 3:43am - Patreon video storage limit is already full. Requesting 1000 hours more of storage space. Currently there are 72 eps of kdramas (about 6 series) uploaded, some live stages and a few shorter length variety contents. i'll either continue waiting for space or purchase streamable in the meantime to get additional content up.

12/11 4:09pm - Signed up for Streamable, testing to see how it works. Waiting on a few emails to see if they'll restrict/delete link/video access if I stop paying (when Patreon gives me more video storage *fingers crossed*).

The page is made though, it's https://patreon.com/secreta2r atm, it'll be changed to this url once I've ported all this content over.

12/12 12:25pm  Patreon has actually denied adding video storage hours and claims that they're unable to do so even though it says they are on the website and despite adding hours to this account and even the old one, they don't seem to be acknowledging that. I'm trying to contact them via Twitter as well and not much luck. I've requested to see if they can switch over this account for me but I'm almost 100% positive that they will not. 

[#2023MAMA] Dynamicduo (다이나믹 듀) | SWF2 (스트릿 우먼 파이터2) - Smoke | Mnet 231128 방송

request award show stages here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/93922422

📝

I just wanted to write this to try venting in a way, and hope that it gives me a push to at least get through today because it feels like I don't have it in me to do anything.

I really underestimated stability.

Doing things online is so unstable that you (I) never really know what's coming next. At first, I found an appeal to that, it made me feel like possibilities were endless and the potential was great, and it just depending on how you "performed" consistently. For a while I noticed that I'm just stressed out every single day. Every time I'm asking how I'm doing, why is stressed or something negative my response each time. I feel like now knowing what's next or what's even possible for me is making me feel so extremely heavy and lost. It makes me question my purpose way more than I'd like to admit. I sat here for about 20 minutes just thinking about this and it took me back to a few years ago when I actually took the first step in doing this seriously. The first thing I realized was my complete loss in confidence. Stemming from what I do, to who I am, I am just not confident in anything really. I can't describe what I do confidently or do that many new things with confidence. I don't feel sure in myself and my self esteem has been non existent ever since. It's more than just basing your self worth in analytics and numbers, and it's more than doing something for a long time while not getting whatever results you'd imagined. I feel it's deeply affected me personally and I'm not able to untangle wherever all of that got tied up internally.

I know you guys may not think I am consistent with certain things and I get it, but I feel like recording and posting videos is quite literally all I do, I think that's why I used to take such offense to it. I feel like I don't have enough things that are for myself, outside of this. I have things that I do, about a year ago I started playing the card games I collect and I enjoy that briefly. It's just, outside of that I don't know what I have. When I was 10 years old, talking to my best friend wanting to do this and that online showing what I love for a big portion of my life, I mean that with my whole heart. Only difference I could think of is being younger, I was out more, wasn't working, playing basketball and skateboarding with a lot of video games too. I had all the time in the world it seemed. I just don't know where I got mixed up and though to me it's like, I've started to accomplish what 10 year old me wanted to be doing, yet it still feels like I'm not. I don't expect anything worth having to be all sunshine and rainbows either! I'm not too sure how else I can elaborate on that sadly. I still have that same dream in the present.

When I visited Korea the first and second time, I had a few nights where I just walked around and took photos thinking about how nice it was. It felt like I had the capacity to be unplugged for a moment and have more things to me. I dread coming home only because of the familiarity and that I know exactly how my days will go, what my few interactions will be, how I'll feel at the end of the day and then pray that I have a better day tomorrow, hopefully with something new but I don't. The cycle just repeats. I think that's what my fear of scheduling comes from, just being I don't have external things to enjoy or feel like I have things to do so I'm always left unfulfilled and upset that the preconceived idea of my day goes exactly as I thought it would, kind of saddens me. With all of that happening, it feels like I have nothing to offer, nothing to do, and every way I go is the wrong way.

I know this all may be confusing to those who may take their time to read it, it comes off as I'm talking about work and life, all at the same time of describing them both. That's how it feels to me too, and I think that that's part of the problem? I'm not necessarily looking for solutions, but if someone has felt similarly I would love to hear a perspective that isn't my own.

I feel like a few things of what I'm doing / how I'm thinking is not healthy and I'm tired of it affecting every part of my day. I decline every offer to "relax" or hangout with other friends because I don't like doing what they do, the only time I ever really step away is when Paul would be down to grab some boba tea, we talk for a little on the ride and then it's back to everything else. I feel overloaded even when there's nothing planned. (this has nothing to do with the daily drops/posting each day I haven't felt a problem with that) I really have no idea who I am. I know some things that I like and what I want to do, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong with life and with making videos, like I'm walking in circles and am not living?

홍다빈 (Dabin) / DPR LIVE - Till I Live & Directors Cut - Reaction

[#2023MAMA] MAMA SUPER STAGE - Goddess Awakened | Mnet 231129 방송

Request award show stages here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/93922422

Moving - Episode 11

[#2023MAMA] PREMIERE STAGE Compilation (최초공개 무대 모음) | JEON SOMI, TVXQ!, ATEEZ, ZEROBASEONE

I think I need to watch the individual group videos as it seems these are stages cut from other artists and put together. 

Moving - Episode 10

this isn't what the gang means to me! 

Sweet Home (Season 2) - Episode 2

DPR IAN - SKINS (demo) M/V - REACTION

Haikyu!! - Episode 5 (PATREON EXCLUSIVE REACTION)

INTRODUCING MY FRIEND TO iKON - 리듬 타(RHYTHM TA) M/V (REACTION)

Seori - Trigger (OFFICIAL M/V) - REACTION

JUJUTSU KAISEN - EPISODE 12 - 13 (UNCUT REACTION)

[#2023MAMA] LEE YOUNGJI X HONG EUNCHAE X ZHANG HAO X CHOI HYUN SUK, YOSHI, HARUTO | Mnet 231128 방송

OMG

Request award show live stages here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/93922422

DECEMBER | DAILY DROPS.

Shouts to Caitlin, challenging myself to her challenge of posting reactions daily on Patreon this month.

What are daily drops? Think of it as supplemental reactions that I did not plan on doing, on top of the content I did plan on doing while also posting one video a day. A way I'd like to not only challenge myself but give back to you all. Ideally that means there would be more than 30 uploads this month.

I won't really be posting like a schedule but if I film a schedule's worth of videos in advance I will update this post with an image so you can know what's coming. My goal is to get you guys an image up each Monday at least covering the main shows. If a day is empty, it'll likely be a one off reaction of content that day or it is not a show. If that's the case, it'll either be random or content you've suggested. These "schedule" images are not final unless you see Chopper in top left under date.

Daily drops will ensure that there is at least one video posted per calendar day each day this month from anime to kpop contents (variety, bonus mvs,stages, etc) , kdramas to movies. It also will serve as videos that I did not plan on posting originally this month, so bonus reactions. It could be one or it could be multiple bonus videos.

For main series I'll aim for a specific day if recorded in bulk, if not, it'll go based on what's filmed/if there's a daily drop scheduled already.

Let's have a fun week and I'd love if you all did your best to engage with the content throughout this month by leaving likes and comments, especially if you don't usually. It may give us a lot of data that can be used to see what types of things you guys enjoy the most!

I'll give this month my best and hopefully we can end off the year with a bang!

Please request award show live stages here: (Request here)

Taking suggestions for content to include this month here 

------------------

HERE'S SOME NEW INFO ~ NEW TO TIERS!

- Crew+ ($5)

When I start branching out into cartoons, those reactions will be here. I'm planning on starting with Avatar or Adventure Time (tba).

(alongside albums, live stage/performance videos, survival shows, reality/variety shows.)

BONUS CONTENT REQUESTS

Just would like to refer to this throughout the month for ideas, any groups/content you guys want me to explore a bit more this month on Patreon? Any cartoons or shows you think I'd enjoy? Live stages or movies you think would be a good fit for us to watch?

I'd like for it to be a patreon only thing, so keep that in mind, otherwise we might as well post on YT! 

Suggest some things below! It does not guarantee it will be reacted to, just adding to the possibilities. I may use this month to wrap some things up, check out content from my fav groups I missed, explore new groups, etc. Outside of kpop I might watch some cartoons, enjoy some movies and do new things too. It's dailys yo!

ZEROBASEONE sings in Spanish🎤 | CRUSH, Take My Hand, In Bloom | Try-lingual Live

Sweet Home (Season 2) - Episode 1

It's been a minute being in this universe and man they did not come to play on episode 1!

Testing interest on Sweet Home, if you're still interested in the show please leave a like on this video!

Moving is not affected, this is being filmed for YouTube. I will post this randomly.

2023 Award Show Live Stage Requests

Comment and link stages you'd like me to see from this year's award shows!

Try not to double request, leave a like on those you want me to see if someone beat you to commenting!

Sweet Home Season 1 Recap Humans vs. Monsters: A 9-min summary | Netflix

Moving - Episode 9

Okay, I was a bit lost in this episode. I blame the constant wifi freezing and stress.

Funny seeing the awkwardness between the parents man lol. This is an enjoyable show. 

Audio of show is louder for the first 13 min, it's because trying to figure out recording stuff while I was away so the audio was combined. :/ 

There's an update post I'd like you all to read before/after this, thank you!  

After this episode, back to normal post frequency likely 2x week, trying to figure something out for this as I want to watch Sweet Home S2 for YT and I also have gotten a few inquiries about SFH, there's just more people watching/engaging with Moving atm.

[SELF-ON KODE] SHINee TAEMIN&SEVENTEEN HOSHI

you guys don't know the battles i went through to try to record some videos this time i was away man... from horrible wifi, to overheating cameras it was ridiculous.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End - Episode 6 (UNCUT REACTION)

The true potential of Stark

Moving - Episode 8

The Black Ops was not what I expected it to be! 

JUJUTSU KAISEN - EPISODE 10 - 11 (RE-REACTION)

Moving - Episode 7

I ALMOST QUIT WATCHING THE SHOW AFTER THIS...

today's my birthday

hi, just sharing these moments from today

didn't do much but had the greatest indian food ever and got some one piece cards to open

i am grateful for all of you, thank you for being here 

i love you guys

Moving - Episode 6

Aw bro, how did I NOT realize?!?!

JUJUTSU KAISEN - EPISODE 8 - 9 (UNCUT REACTION)