Sir ChickenBurger

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Eighteen

Ana

“…Which is why you should be careful to include his wife in as much of the conversation as possible.” Vrina finished, and Ana’s eyelid twitched again. They’d just spent the better part of an hour going over the dos and don’ts of dining with a male from another household, and she’d been overwhelmed by minute five.

“So many rules… just to talk to one guy?”

“They’re more like courtesies; some lapses are more understandable th...

New Chapters!

It's a new week, and I don't know if there's enough bloodstream in my coffee to deal with that information.

Links to new chapters across all tiers:

Coffee Tier-  Chapter Eight

Galactic Aid Workers- Chapter Thirteen

Imperium/Resistance- 2024-02-26 20:36:43 +0000 UTC View Post

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Seventeen

Tommy (continued)

“You’ve got to be joking. No. I won’t do it.”

Seamus scoffed, “Oh come off it. Every teenage lad dreams of being told he has to fuck for his country.”

“Firstly, this isn’t my country, and secondly, they’re not even human! It’s disgusting. I’d rather get burned to death with plasma than stick my dick in their genocidal brand of crazy.”

“I wasn’t just talking about Australia mate.” Seamus took another l...

New Chapters!

Hi everyone! Hope this week is treating you all well.

Links to new chapters across all tiers:

Coffee Tier- Chapter Seven

Galactic Aid Workers- Chapter Twelve

Imperium/Resistance- Chapter S...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Sixteen

Melbourne, Australia
385 days post-invasion

Tommy

This time, Tommy walked through the checkpoint with his head held high.

In the days following his run-in with the off-duty soldiers, he’d done a lot of soul-searching. He’d replayed his conversation with Seamus in his mind a dozen times. It would have been easier to stay home, curl up under the covers, and binge-watch another season of pre-invasion TV. Safer, too. 

New Chapters are up!

I'm still experimenting with the best ways to notify everyone in lower tiers about their content unlocking, since I want it to be as easy for you to find your chapters as possible but I also don't want to overfill my feed.

In future I will likely write a template for an update similar to this one, then provide links from it to the relevant chapters, so that you don't need to scroll all the way down and remember your chapter numbers etc.

Coffee Tier- 2024-02-19 21:05:32 +0000 UTC View Post

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Fifteen

Ana 

“There will be no further questions” 

The PR officer gave Ana a weary look as she turned back from addressing the crowd, and she lowered her head into a slight bow. “Thank you, Specialist Cardoso,” she said, whatever trick she’d used to amplify her voice now gone. “I’m sure you’re looking forward to some much-needed rest.”

Message received. They probably didn’t like much of what I had to say. A headache that had be...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Fourteen

Jel (continued)

“Absolutely.”

Jel’s eyebrows shot upwards, and he had to stifle a smile at the way the military aide’s bicep twitched and her head spun around to stare wide-eyed at the human, drawing breath to cut the response off. 

“But,” Specialist Cardoso continued, and the kespan stilled, narrowing her eyes. “I’m also a pragmatist. After working alongside Imperial citizens for the past six months and spending a lot of time with them,...

Welcome!

Thank you, truly, for taking the time to visit my patreon.

Being a successful writer is a dream of mine, one that I'm working hard to make a reality. If you're here, that hopefully means that you've enjoyed my work, and for that, I am already so grateful.  

A little about me; I am an Australian university student currently studying creative writing. That gives me time to pursue my passion for creating new worlds to share with you all, but it also means that I am walking a ...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Thirteen

Ervamir 3- Upper Orbit
383 days post-induction

Jel

“I was really hoping to be planetside by now,” Rumarr grumbled, and her eyes flicked from side to side behind her eyepiece as she adjusted its capture settings for the lighting conditions. “Why do you think they’ve got us all crammed into this hall anyway?”

Jel shrugged his shoulders, wincing when he felt something catch in his upper back. Skara had been particularly ent...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Twelve

Earth- High Orbit
382 days post-invasion

Ana

Ana wasn’t sure when she’d started crying. The window was immense, a slab of clear crystal twice the width of her entire apartment back in Rio. It ran from wall to wall, ceiling to floor, and standing before it was much like standing at the edge of an infinitely tall cliff. In front of her, the dark expanse yawned like the entrance to a jet-black cavern, hen-speckled with tiny pricks o...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter 11.5 (NSFW)

[Note: This is an 18+ bonus chapter. It contains no important story threads and a whole lot of graphic alien sex. If this does not interest you, you can continue reading from chapter 12 onwards without missing anything important. To the rest of you- Godspeed you magnificent animals. Godspeed].

Jel

This is a blatant attempt to get on our good side before we make planetfall. Jel reminded himself as the hot water melted the stiffness from his shou...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Eleven

Ervamir 3- Upper Orbit
382 Earth-days post-induction

Jel

Jelakka Mar’miar was having a hard time. 

He’d never admit to it, not given how hard he’d fought to be sitting where he was, but it was true. Even tucked into the crux of Skara’s shoulder and surrounded by her familiar scent, he still missed the rest of his wives and the comparative luxury of the inner systems. 

With a short burst of accelerati...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Ten

Melbourne outskirts, Australia
382 Earth days post-induction

Mirai

I can’t believe we got suckered into this.

It was the first day of her crew’s new role as security contractors for an Imperium military base, and Captain Mirai was feeling like a rotisserie bric’ek as she turned her head once more to allow the relentless yellow eye of the star above to sear at the left side of her body instead ...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Nine

New York City
381 Earth days post-invasion

Yasmin

It was just after six in the morning, and the sun had begun to make its presence known with a grey lightening of the sky across the New York City boroughs. On the streets outside, the morning birds were striking up a tentative morning tune and, despite the early winter chill, in the darkened corridor of a burned-out building, sweat poured off Yasmin’s brow as she fought for her life. ...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Eight

Tommy (continued)

Ah, shit. Here comes trouble.

Three kespan soldiers were walking down the sidewalk approaching them. The two in front wore confident smirks and walked with an exaggerated strut that made their hips and tails sway from side to side, while the third ambled along behind, flustered and blushing. He could tell they were off duty by the state of their uniforms. Normally, the cat aliens covered every inch of skin in their tight-fitti...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Seven

Tommy

Several hours after arriving home, Tommy lay awake in bed with his eyes open, listening to the soft wingbeats of fruit bats and the rustling of leaves outside his window. 

It felt like he’d been living the past year with a grey shroud over his head. Now, someone had lifted the corner, and a new light had shone through. A purpose, or at least the possibility of one.

Staring at the white ceiling above his double bed, he thought about hi...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Six

Ana (continued)

It didn’t take long for one of the aliens to walk over. Fully suited up with an opaque visored helmet that mirrored Ana’s own, they stood at a height that would have been tall for a human woman, somewhere between Bruiser and Raker’s heights. A single row of breasts and a strange triangular tail-like protrusion on her lower back that was covered in flexible armour and swayed as she walked were the only identifying features that her suit g...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Five

Ana (continued)

The first time Ana donned the suit, it had come with a stern warning from the range commander.

“There’s a kill switch built into these prototype units,” she’d explained, looking Ana dead in the eye. “You’re here because you’ve been tested and passed intake, but frankly, you’re human, so that alone doesn’t mean the brass trusts you. If the suit detects an intentional attempt at friendly fire, registers any life form othe...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Four

Rio De Janeiro
380 Earth days post-invasion

Ana

Ana Cardoso was trying hard not to stare for too long at any of the strange beings she was sharing a shuttle ride with. 

Despite making up most of the Imperial troops stationed on Earth, fewer kespans were being deployed to missions in hot zones due to battle fatigue and morale issues. After a year of skirmishes against human freedom fighters, and with the circums...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Three

[Author Note: Patreon's text editing is maddeningly slow if I use anything but its default spacing. It took me two hours just to reformat the last two chapters from word. I want to get this material out a bit quicker than that, so please forgive the slight change in formatting in the following chapters]

Tommy (continued)

“So, how about the wrinklies? You spot any patterns? Weaknesses? How would you kill one?”

Tommy’s eyes widen...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter Two

Melbourne, Australia

380 Earth days post-invasion


Tommy

The air above the dark asphalt shimmered outside the Derrimut community centre, the November sunshine unseasonably harsh, a herald of hot, dry summer months to come. Over the top of the road that led into the centre, a hastily erected concrete gateway stood with foreign symbols scrawled across it in the scratchy lines of kespan script. There were signs in English and Mandarin too,...

Killer Kittens from Outer Space- Chapter One

Ervamir 3- Low Orbit
Galactic Year 5635
378 Earth days post-induction


Mirai

Someone had to fix this fucking mess.

The steady thrum of circulating air from the life support system was Captain Mirai’s only companion as she hung her pink head in her hands. Trimmed claws found purchase in the loose skin of her scalp, digging in just hard enough to maintain focus without cutting herself open while she read through a seemingly endless sta...