Funatic

An Elemental Party 3 – Fury of the Storm

Sylph had a hard time. Sure, it was self-imposed (nobody forced her to carry an over-sized sword) but nonetheless it turned out that, even though the white flamelings were weaklings, a dragon was a force to be reckoned with. 

The plate made all of her movements sluggishly slow. Well, a speed which the tempest elemental, were she awake and operating normally, would consider slow. Instead of dodging each attack easefully, with lots of time to spare to do stupid stuff, Sylph actually needed ...

Taking days off

So, it is with a giant headache that I write these words (Cause I am hungover and stuff).

As chapters keep getting (on average) longer I find myself unable to continue to write these daily. I can (reliably) produce about 2000 words a day, chapter average is about 2400. Not that big of a difference, eh? Well, sadly it adds up, and the buffer i started the arc with has completely melted, although being sick for a few days surely didnt help.

Anyhow, the buffer is gone now so I can't p...

Chapter 183 - A fluffy Monday 4 – If you like it, put a dress on it

Aclysia got back on the podium, and started testing the options. “One-hundred thousand dollars is the amount you will allow me to spent, correct, John?” she asked while tapping around. “Correct,” he reaffirmed. After working on the sliders for a bit longer, Aclysia announced, “It seems that the average price of clothes here is about 50000. Those are for sets or dresses.” 

John’s eyes almost jumped from their sockets, but he regained his calm. He said he wanted only the best ...

An Elemental Party 2 – Light my Fire

“Overlady Salamander!” with these words one of her many underlings stormed into the throne room. They were small creatures of coloured fire inside a dark metal armour. This particular one was green, but the many guards standing around the flintstone walls also had blue or red one in their ranks. The rare white ones, two of which she had in her army, flanked her throne of ever burning coal. 

“Urgh, what is it?!” Salamander asked and shifted in her chair. She was wearing the fire eq...

Branching from Chapter 180 - An Elemental Party Part 1 – Grounded [Elemental Girls Side Story]

Gnome was never sure what to think of her home. Since being contracted to the Gamer, many things had changed for the earth elemental. For a start, the fact that she was a stone elemental now. Back before all of this started she had been a mere fragment of the joined consciousness’ of the earth. She still was, to a certain degree, but the stronger she got, the more individual she had become. That had reached a new height when she evolved into her current form, that of an Asian girl of outstandi...

Chapter 183 - A fluffy Monday 3 – We can go shopping

“That was…an experience,” John said when they were passing through the crowd, a bit later. Whether their little adventure had gone unnoticed or not, John didn’t know. He heavily doubted it though. Then again, he also did not care in the slightest. “It was indeed a new kind of knowledge,” Aclysia, holding his hand as they walked through public, confirmed. 

They were on the look-out for a clothing store. John had seen numerous upon entrance in the mall, but all he and Aclysia pa...

Chapter 182 - A fluffy Monday 2 – Cut from his cloth

John was walking down the street, alone in the act. He was heading for the clothes store he had been in with Rave, yesterday. Not that it had to be that specific clothes store, it was just the only one John knew in this city. 

Of course, he wasn’t actually alone. ‘I hope you are comfortable down there,’ John spoke to Aclysia, hiding in the inner pocket of his jacket. ‘It is satisfactory, master,’ Aclysia answered, her tone didn’t betray it, but John could feel her happiness. N...

Chapter 181 - A fluffy Monday 1 – a not so fluffy start

 When John awoke next morning both Aclysia and Momo were gone already. He wasn’t surprised by this, even as much as she loved doing it, Aclysia would get pretty bored cuddling with his sleeping self for 6 hours. Instead, she was probably in the process of making breakfast, while the latter was either bothering or helping her, depending on the support’s mood. Anyway, John was getting dressed and then headed down the stairs. He was only the second to arrive at the breakfast table, the res...

Chapter 180 (To synchronize with CHYOA the number is the same as last chapters) - Actual For a horny young woman, kissing is an addiction.

“So, for starters I will raise your Libido to 10,” John explained, opening her status as he did. “Aclysia agreed to have her Libido raised to 25 in the future, so we will maybe increase yours -if you want to- once we find out what exactly that does. Okay?” “Just do it already,” Momo said pulling at her cheek, slightly alienated by her new elasticity.

With Refined Body II the silicone she was made off was the standard kind, not that that was a problem. John had willingly fucked Acly...

Chapter 180 - In the evening.

“What am I doing with my life,” John lamented, closed the window and spread his arms out on the cool, ravaged, stone floor. They had just beaten the second version of a boss, they thought would be no problem, and were all completely exhausted. The boss had been a hand. Like, literally, a giant hand, the nails alone were bigger than John’s whole body and it had shot laser beams, tried to wav...

Chapter 179 - Mono is a disease?!

“Choices, choices,” John mumbled. He had no need of either, regarded both of the classes as novelty. However, he was getting a free perk, so he might as well take it. The pervert inside him urged him to take Loverboy, while the Gamer decided that his class should take the lead. It was a me...

Short Story – A rave before the game(r).

[This short story has been "requested" (really he let me write whatever I wanted, which I like) by Fenrius for the month of November 2017. It happens at the very beginning of the Gamer story.]

‘This is super boring,’ Rave thought and sighed quietly. The teacher at the front was blabbering about some unimportant stuff. Not that there was any important stuff she could have been blabbering about. Why her dad insisted that she went to school, when she could just beat up thugs and sm...

Chapter 178 Breezing through the floors.

It turned out that, fortunately, the dungeon was temperate. Also, every single floor was a fucking joke. John couldn’t stretch that enough. A real, fucking, joke. Floor five, breezed through, floor six, decimated, seven, annihilated, eight, obliterated, nine, massacred. John had almost felt bad for the cupids they were taking out, small little angels with cute wings and bows that shot pink arrows. Their appearance deserved to cover the front of a valentine’s card, not to be impaled by a bolt...

No Chapter today, Sorry D;

Sickness is bad, I am unlikely to get a full chapter together today and if I do it won't be proofread. Typos are bad enough as is. Will hopefully be back tomorrow.

Chapter 177 - First rule of Lyly’s training.

“I will have to stress that whatever happens today will stay classified,” Lydia repeated for the third time in half an hour. “This includes all matters of sexual nature, but first and foremost we are talking about whatever skills or abilities anyone in this group, including me, reveals during this training. Nothing shall ever reach the public. Understood?” 

“Ja, for heaven’s sake,” Rave groaned, “we agree. Now, can John please open some dungeon, so I can punch something re...

Reactive vs Proactive, a thought.

HELLO!
 

Just bored, a bit sick, and have been thinking about this as I wrote the latest chapter (Which will be coming later, but you experience one or two days of hiatus as I recover from this cold, sorry in advance). The writing of proactive vs reactive protagonists. 

I think it was in Brandon Sanderson’s online lecture series, where I first heard that people like proactive characters way more. It makes sense. Why would one be more drawn to the character that only react...

Chapter 176 - Twenty minutes tea time

“May I inquire what that noise is about?” Lydia asked. She had exchanged her uniform for a knee-height loose skirt, black stockings and a white blouse, all of which was tailored to fit her perfectly. John’s dick reminded him that it hadn’t been used in a bit, taking the mere sight of the princess as an excuse to tax away some of his blood. It wasn’t enough to get a full erection, but his pants were growing tighter. Not tight enough to prevent him to wonder where the princess had left h...

Chapter 175 - fifteen minutes of silence.

The couple had arrived back at house a while, and a side-track to get a laptop for John, later. Without a key, he had faced momentary panic, but quickly was reminded of the fact that he had gotten two nice girls on the inside of the house. John had Aclysia open the door from the inside. “Welcome back, master,” Aclysia greeted him and stood waiting, hands folded in front of her waist, holding a salver. “Can I help you with anything?” 

“Yeah, where did you get that?�...

Chapter 174 - Running around the city.

“Well, that was nice,” John said. “Yu-p,” Rave agreed, popping the p sound. A moment of silence then John sighed heavily. “I think having powers just ruined fantasy movies for me,” he lamented, “can’t really get into when I see a force choke and think about how I would actually fight a Sith.” “By throwing Salamander at them?” Rave suggested. “I mean, let’s be honest here, Sith’s and all that jazz aren’t really that powerful.” “True, true,” John mused, �...

Chapter 173 - Going Out

When John left the room and the exhausted princess behind he was of the firm mind to take a shower. Honestly he had needed it since waking up, he had gone through a pretty sweaty night in the first place, but now it really was time he got that out of the way. In the living room he was met by Rave, zapping through the television without much of a care in the world. From the way the curl...

Chapter 172 - Intense negotiations.

“What? No!” Rave said and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. “This is my man, ya get to share him with me, not take him away!” she laid down. “I have no such intentions,” Lydia explained, “I merely plan to cut your arrogance down as well, if you demand me to bend, you must be willing to be too. Besides,” and now the princess’ eyes wandered over to John, who met the curious gaze in kind, “I prefer my first contact with a man to be…intimate.” 

John fel...

Side Story Vote: Results

So, the Elemental Girls won. As making 3 chapters for four girls is a bit awkward I'll be writing one for each of the girls, for a total of 4, instead.

Chapter 171 - Explanations Finale – Playing the game

"I mean,” John gestured at the map, “you have all of this land, all of these resources, and the best you can do for your fighters are two random Americans?” he looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “You’ll have to excuse me if I am sceptic about that, princess.” “Ja, it is kinda weird,” Rave agreed.

The map smoothed over and was replaced with hundreds of names and faces. “I have a multitude of loyal subjects that would be willing to fight for me, some of them are even stronger...

Chapter 170 - Explanations 3 – Europa Universalis

"Not a whole bunch,” John freely admitted, “I don’t even know how exactly the borders look or who is in charge where. All I know is that the majority of the divided gates reside in Europe.” Lydia fell into thoughtful silence following that. “I cannot have that. Explaining the how and why’s for everything would take too long but I can give you basic rundown. Aclysia, would you clean the table?” The princess requested as if the artificial guardian had been her servant for years now. ...

Chapter 169 - Explanations 2 – Innate Abilities, Souls and Elementals

“I am a light user,” Rave explained and created a small flash of blue light in demonstration, “I also punch stuff. Guess you could call me a melee mage.” The princess hummed in understanding before asking: “Is your ability innate or acquired?” “Innate,” Rave answered. “You possess a light type soul?” Lydia probed further. “Yup, already made a contract as well,” the techno lover raised the arm from which the copper wristband hung that was Copernicus sealed form.

“Ehem,...

Chapter 168 - Explanations 1 – The Gamer

 John woke up in a clean bed. He had used Craft on the bedsheets to instantly clean them, which was great because at the end they had been stained with sweat and all kinds of sexual fluids. As per usual Rave was still asleep. Normally he would have tried to wiggle his way out of bed without waking her up. That was impossible this time around as she had him in a full-nelson. How exactly Rave had managed to get John into this grip while sleeping was beyond him, but he felt neither of his arms...

Chapter 167 - Finally loving

The house’s bedrooms were all located on the second floor, safe for the one Lydia occupied that was at the far-end of the base floor. His girlfriend pushed her trolley on John before walking up the stairs. “Just so we are clear,” John announced while carrying the thing after her, “I am only obeying because I get to look at your ass.” And he very much did follow the swing of her hips as she stepped up the stairs. The firm rounding’s of her butt were stretching the fabric of the blue j...

Chapter 166 - Things get moving.

Eventually their kiss broke and John was just happy to hold Rave in his arms. Although one of his hands travelled lower and put a hand on her firm butt. Had been too long since he felt that. Rave did not mind in the slightest, gave him mischievous wink instead. “So, will the princess have your ass?” she asked while pulling off her headphones. “No answer yet,” John explained and then remembered the flower he was still holding, the plant was in danger to be squished between them. 

H...

Chapter 165 - His girlfriend couldn’t possibly land this soon.

 Level 1 of Elementalist took just about the whole day to grind out. The challenges ranged from the simple numbers game of spending 20000 mana, to very specific stuff, like using a combo attack of Salamander and Undine to boil an enemy to death in exactly one minute (he got an achievement called ‘instant monster’ for that, it didn’t give him anything). It was harder than expected, although he had the feeling that he had still gotten relatively easy challenges. Anyway, he had the level...

Chapter 164 - Testing the class system.

John woke up, brushed his teeth, had sex with Sylph, ate breakfast and then finally did what he hadn’t done in a long time. He opened his character sheet.

Not a whole lot had changed here. He had spent the last 5 points he had gotten before the patch on Wisdom. Equipment was interesting however, for the sole reason that he was wearing none of the items displayed there right now. He checke...