POTD 4-20-2021
Cry.
2021-04-20 14:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
This trip to Kauai was very gloomy, it was cold, there was tons of overcast. I think it was April. Part of me was thankful for the gloom because it was like the island and I were getting along, feeling the same.
2021-04-18 14:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Grey days at Poipu. This was my first visit to Poipu this trip.
I didn't go in the water. I just sat with my headphones on.
I remember this mother and daughter came out of the water and laid their towels down somewhat near me. I don't know if they could hear my music or just didn't like that I was fat but they kept glaring at me and eventually decided to move. I smiled back and kept sitting.
@eveunleashed in a very cold lake last autumn. The lake was frigid and rough the day that we shot. My fav is the one where she's smiling.
I can't wait to see her again.
2021-04-15 17:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
This was the tiny beach to one side of the hotel.
It was super rocky in the water so you couldn't swim there but sometimes this was my "getting out" once a day. There was a wall and I could sit against it and no one could even see me there. I was listening to a lot of Kehlani because she had just released While We Wait.
I'll link it in a separate post.
It was tough being completely alone.
I had a couple people try to check on me but I had a pretty big time difference with everyone. Katie did the best job throughout this whole thing, two other male friends asked me how I was but I'd get very frustrated trying to explain how I felt to them. One, insisted on telling me that everything would be fine which wasn't helpful.
I wanted help. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to be understood. I felt like I had absolutely no control...
I'm not used to being in Kauai and not having a kitchen.
The restaurant at the hotel was a steak house but was only open for dinner.
There's no delivery on Kauai so the closest thing was McDonalds across the road.
Despite being on a beautiful island I spent a lot of time inside.
I spent a lot of time in bed and watching Netflix.
I did my best to go out once a day - anywhere for any length of time.
At first I was trying to stay out of the ocean until I stopped bleeding but I ended up bleeding far longer than the pamphlet said. You're not suppose to use tampons after an abortion because you risk infection but after a week, I started wearing them so I could go in the water and taking them out right after.
2021-04-06 14:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostIt dawned on me while putting together the Kauai sets (there are two - this month and next month) that my best work is done in times of hardship and when I document my life in the most honest way I know how.
I felt sad because I didn't know to do that at the start of the pandemic. How powerful would it be to have taken photos from start to finish?
I'm trying to be "easy" on myself and counteract all the negative self talk I have surrounding it by telling myself - we didn't kno...
Colder than I thought. Trip to Walmart for snacks, bathroom supplies and a hoodie. The only hoodie they had in my size was big and pink - fuck it, lets go. I wore this hoodie every single day I was there at one point or another.
2021-04-05 14:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Quickly figured out that I got great morning light in my room.
2021-04-04 14:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
First morning in Kauai.
Once I found my hotel (I've never stayed at a hotel on Kauai) I also figured out that I was on the side of the island that saw sunrises and not sunsets. I'm not a morning person but I vowed to get up for sunrise every single day that I was there even if I went back to bed after.
Normally when I visit, we get a loft in the jungle and drive to a different spot on the island every single day to watch the sunset. It's my own lil tradition.
I was given cheap tickets to Kauai.
I am not complaining but it's important to this story. I had to take 4 different planes just to get from Texas to Kauai and it took me 20+ hours.
From Texas to somewhere, somewhere to LA, LA to Honolulu, Honolulu to Kauai.
I was apprehensive about the trip because I was going alone. I had never taken a full trip by myself. I've flown by myself, I've spent days by myself - people coming late or leaving early but I had never done a...
GOOD MORNING!
Here's the link to your March Dropbox that's been updated with "Duo" by both myself and Jones of @eveunleashed.
If you'd like to support Jones you can find her here: https://www.patreon.com/_jones/creators
Thank you so much for continuing to be here with me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of you.
xx Faye
2021-04-01 16:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Random photo dump leading up to my trip.
1. The waiting room for my first Planned Parenthood appointment.
2. Me waiting for my first Planned Parenthood appointment.
3. Random fortune I got around that time.
4. Flowers from Katie West!
5. Gift from Katie West - I brought this to work and used it every single day.
6. Planned Parenthood waiting room the day of my abortion. This guy was snoring SO f-ing loud.
7. Waiting for my first flight.
2021-04-01 14:11:00 +0000 UTC View Post
***TRIGGER WARNING - Rape and abortion.***
***TRIGGER WARNING - Rape and abortion.***
***TRIGGER WARNING - Rape and abortion.***
It's 2019.
I'm in San Antonio Texas. I dislike San Antonio because it's far more racist and homophobic than I'm used to having lived in Montreal and Toronto for most of my adult life. It's also very Republican, Trump is president and Beto has lost to Cruz for Texas Sen...
2021-04-01 14:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post