Ancilla L

Podcast E80: Moving is fun?

Moving is fun, and horrid, and surprise surprise, I also managed to find the sexism in it.

A Quick Note To My Patrons

Hello all!

Thank you for your continued support of my work. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am currently in the process of moving and simultaneously attempting to meet a collosal deadline which is keeping me from being able to write and post as much as I would like to. I will be back at it after the 12th! Please bear with me.

Regards.

Prolonged Play and Aftercare.

Within power-exchange relationships, we generally talk of two approaches to interplay—scene-based and dynamic-based—but I find it a bit difficult to explain what I really like within the confines of this binary set of choices. I understand that the intention is to define the scope of the power-exchange within a relationship. In a relationship where scene-based interplay is the norm, the defined conventions of power extend only to the stipulated time of play and in dynamic-based int...

Podcast E79: Weaponised Incompetence.

Weaponised incompetence is the process of pretending or relying on strategic incompetence or ineptitude in order to get out of tasks, labour or other forms of work, it most commonly arises at the workplace or in domestic labour. It has far-reaching consequences that I discuss in this podcast.

Podcast Series: Predators Pt 4(b): How does loving a predator impact you?

Podcast Series: Predators Pt 4(a): Why does one fall in love with a predator?

Podcast Series: Predators Pt 3: How do predators get away with it?

Podcast Series: Predators Pt 2: How do predators choose victims?

This is a multi-part series assessing predators and their impacts.

Podcast Series: Predators Pt 1: How do they impact you?

This is a series of episodes about predators, victimisation, trauma, assault, recovery and everything that encompasses.

The Relationship HighCast: Compatibility!

An exclusive episode of TRH, just for my patrons!

Sex and Sanskar: Where do you go to fuck?

We were easing into it, his hands were around my throat and I was gazing into his eyes, when a loud, persistent banging on the door distracted us. The intruder was pounding so hard at the wood, it’s hard to imagine they weren’t hurting themselves.

“Tell the guy to leave,” he shouted, gritting his teeth, “I told you that you couldn’t have any men over.”

The aggrieved party was not my landlord as you may think, it wasn’t the warden of a hostel into which I had snuck ...

This is what it means.

He hands me the scarf and I put it around my eyes myself. It’s very soft and light, but it blocks my vision completely as I knot it behind my head. I remember buying the scarf, four of them—blue, yellow, black and green—and for that one week, I was a scarf-person. They seem like warm and whimsical people, what registers as redundant fabric to me is beauty and expression to them, and while I have no interest in being beautiful, I do enjoy trying on the predilections of other people. It f...

The Bad Slave.

He fucks my mouth with one and my cunt with the other. With nine-inches of glass, he hurts my cunt so I want to scream, the wider I open my mouth to scream, the deeper into my throat he pushes whatever marginal segment of the eighteen-inches of silicone I can accommodate.

“No teeth,” he instructs through gritted teeth, “Open wide, open your fucking mouth."

I try, but my tongue wants to push it out instead. He pulls out of my mouth and smacks my lip...

Podcast E77: The Industry of Commercialised Sexuality

...and why it's awesome in ways you didn't even think.

The School of Fuck.

There was an image I had in my head. In it, I was on stage, fresh-as-dew, dressed like a professional, moving around briskly and with just enough animation to be an engaging instructor. Instead, I found myself seated at a tiny little desk that had to be placed on stage, because I had torn a tendon in my ankle the previous day, I was sweating from head-to-toe as the stage-lights wore me down and while I was wearing a tie, the accompanying pigtails and undershirt were more thrift-store aficiona...

Podcast E76: 10 Mistakes You Might Be Making As An Edge Player

Edge play has a lot of room for mistakes, could you be making one of these mistakes?

Podcast E75: The Ethics of Fantasy.

What is it okay to think about, anyway?

We Still Burn Witches At The Stake.

My mother is insecure about her intelligence. I understand why. For most of her young life, she was considered the vain one in her family, and once she married my father, she married into a culture that considered the (lack of) intelligence in women a punchline to every joke. For years, our household encouraged us to make fun of our mother for being stupid or ignorant, and when she finally couldn’t take it anymore, she became violently defensive of any perceived or real attack...

The Price of His Love.

Would I be easier to manoeuvre, if I were smaller?

I wonder,

as his foot makes its way under the desk,

and attempts to place itself between my legs.

My knees jam against the sides of the desk,

the intercrural space is too narrow, for finesse,

he must force his way in,

like a bradawl, making room where none exists.

Such is his intention, it fits anywhere it wants,

at once, capacious enough to ensconce the world,

and miniscule eno...