A/N: Hello everyone! A few things: one, I'd like to continue my push to have people give reviews on the Royal Road version of this story. As long as you have an account, it'll let you review as long as you click on the first chapter. And, y'know, presumably all of you HAVE read the story so it's not like it's cheating or anything. 2025-09-21 06:00:19 +0000 UTC View Post
A/N: Sorry for the delay. Enjoy the chapter!
"You met my folks, right Jules?" Lia asks, smirking when I scowl at the nickname. "They're both total cunts, aren't they?"
"They certainly aren't the kind of people I'd want to hang out with for fun," I agree. "Also I'm pretty sure they're crime lords?"
"Oh yeah, totally," Lia nods. "Damn, okay, you already know my big killer reveal then. But yeah, they basically brought me into this world to make th...
2025-09-19 06:11:09 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hi everyone! I'd just like to take a quick moment to ask those of you with Royal Road accounts to consider adding reviews, favorites, and so on to the story on that website. We're surprisingly close to the top spot, having hit #25 on the entire website, and I'd love to help that number climb higher and get back on the front page. Thank you all for your support!
Transformation theme for this chapter here: 2025-09-14 06:05:56 +0000 UTC View Post
A/N: Oh god I stayed up WAY too late aaaaaaaaa
"I am mad," Pink summarizes succinctly, "because you don't trust me."
I blink, tendrils on my head squirming. That… of all the things, I never expected that.
"But… I do trust you?" I point out. "I trust you a lot."
"It's kind of sad that you think that's true," Pink says.
I… okay. No. We're not having the conversation this way.
"I get that you...
2025-09-11 11:24:16 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hello, everyone! We're back. I'm just gonna start with this: this chapter has content warnings. We're at That Part Of The Story. If you've read my other books you know what I'm talking about. So here we go, alright? Last chance to stop reading if you don't want spoilers, spoileriroos, spoily moileys, spolirinos, or spoilocitrons: content warnings for dehumanization, forced actions, slavery, lack of self-control, and general oppressive feelings of doom about the future. <...
2025-09-07 02:22:22 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hey everyone. I'm back! I needed that break badly. Thank you all for your patience. As an aside, volume 2 of Are You Even Human is now available on Amazon! You have, uh, already read everything in that book, so you don't really need to care, but if you care anyway you can find it here. Thank you all for your support, and enjoy the chapter!
...
2025-09-04 07:27:33 +0000 UTC View PostWe're back! It's in the trove. Sorry for the wait on this one. I hope you enjoy!
2025-08-29 20:26:27 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Okay. Alright. Chapter's finally here. Sorry it's this late. Been having a real one over here. It's my break time now, and I desperately need it. Thank you all very much for your patience, and enjoy the chapter.
"Thanks again for offering to drive," the amateurly synthesized voice of my phone says. It's really starting to grate on me. Surely no one would call me out on it if I just improved it a bit…?
"I didn't so much 'offer' to drive as much...
2025-08-25 21:03:02 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: I am once again alive. Thank you all for your patience. The ebook for Are You Even Human: Volume 2 should be out within the next few days (unless I put it off again) and the audiobook is in the works. Of course, Patreon is ahead of ebook releases so you don't really have to care, but hey! Thought I'd mention. As for the fifty or so of you that have signed up for the Beachgoer tier, your next incentive is coming soon, so don't worry! And um... yeah. Thanks for letting me rest, eve...
2025-08-21 08:10:26 +0000 UTC View PostYeah, the MGMH chapter this week isn't happening either. Sorry.
The reasons are fairly personal, but suffice to say I'm a jumble of vibrating stress hormones and little else right now, which does not create a mental environment conducive to writing. Believe me, I've tried! Many times! But a bunch of horrible crap has stacked on top of an already-growing feeling of burnout, and I just need the break. If things stay this bad, it might need to be in addition to my usual scheduled...
2025-08-15 21:34:48 +0000 UTC View PostDo to unfortunate life events I'm gonna need to do the thing I did last month and break my break in half.
There will be no AYEH chapter this week. Instead, there will be an AYEH chapter on the fourth week of this month when I normally take my break. MGMH chapters will be unaffected... hopefully. I'll let you know if that changes.
Thank you all for your patience.
2025-08-14 04:59:09 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hey hi hello! Sorry I missed this chapter last week due to being sick and all, but honestly I'm glad I got an extra week to let it simmer. Thank you all so much for your patience. Enjoy!
"You think she's coming back?" I sign, causing Chloe to let out an exasperated sigh.
"I don't know. I never know. Every single time she leaves I don't know if she's ever coming back."
I manually wince, since the situation calls for it. Not my smartest ques...
2025-08-09 09:13:50 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hey everyone. I'm back, and feeling a bit better. I slept for like fourteen hours or some shit yesterday. Being sick sucks. Anyway, enjoy chapter.
"Oh hey, the sign is still here," Peter comments, gesturing out beyond the front windshield. "Welcome to Florida, everyone! Or what's left of it. From what I hear, it's no big loss."
"Peter, the evacuation of Florida displaced nearly twenty million people," I say. "After several million lost ...
2025-08-07 07:23:00 +0000 UTC View PostMy partner and I have gotten sick. Chapters canceled until I am not sick. Hopefully not more than one or two, it just seems to be a cold for now.
Thank you for your support, everyone.
2025-08-02 07:18:52 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hey! Chapter time. Not much to say in my note today. I hope you all enjoy!
A compressed galaxy floats around me, a nebula of planets and ever-shifting beauty. I open my eyes, despite having already seen my surroundings, and take in the warmth of my god's embrace. Here, in their realm, I am safe. I am loved. Here, in this world, there's just me, my god, and infinite possibilities.
Hey there, god. Long time no see.
HeLLo, T...
2025-07-31 05:23:54 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: And we're back! Thank you all for being patient. Enjoy the chapter!
I withhold a groan of annoyance as the mess of numbers on the page in front of me floats into my head and drags its way through the fuzzy interior, scraping against my exhausted brain cells. I'd like to say I'm doing my best to listen to this lecture from my math professor, but I'm not sure I could even tell you what kind of math I'm supposed to be learning. I forget the name o...
2025-07-27 06:49:28 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Sorry for the long wait. Bit of a rough week for me. Thankfully I get a bit of a break now. No AYEH chapter this week, but I'll see you all for MGMH. Enjoy the chapter.
"You sure they'll be passing through here?" Chloe asks for the umpteenth time. I nod again, pointing to the convergence tracker on my phone and the dark clouds roiling to our left. We're pretty much right at the edge of the evacuation zone, but today's convergence isn't likely t...
2025-07-21 02:45:49 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hello! Bit late, but the chapter is here! Content warning for you, so don't read if you don't wanna see it hoobly bee hoobly boo you really shouldn't continue it's gonna be a spoiiiiler you don't like spoilers do you waga woo woo bliffle boffle boo! It's suicide. That's the warning. You've been warned. Enjoy the chapter!
It seems my former commanding officer has nothing else he wants to say. Countless thumbnail-sized ball bearings spill out of the poc...
2025-07-17 06:20:33 +0000 UTC View PostHello everyone! I think I've mentioned this on Patreon before, but in case I haven't: tomorrow at 5:00pm (Mountain Time), the WriteHive conference will be showing my guest of honor interview, during which I'll be answering questions in the chat on their Discord. On the same day, two friends of mine will be flying in from out of state to hang out with us for a while. Suffice to say, I'll be very busy... and unfortunately, I won't b...
2025-07-11 21:15:47 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hello! Chappy time! Last chapter will be the end of volume 2 and this chapter is the start of volume 3, the final volume! Isn't that cool? I think it's cool. Content warnings for, uh, everything that happened to Maria, basically? Yeah. You know what's coming. Enjoy!
"Okay everyone, I need you to know that this is… going to be pretty bad," I say. "You don't have to come, and you don't have to watch."
"I barely understand what you're doing, Juli...
2025-07-10 06:35:10 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hello everyone! It's very late but the chapter is here! Enjoy! This chapter immediately starts on a transformation sequence, so you can start listening to the theme music right now here:
https://youtu.be/qEMLNCTkzdM
Light overtakes my form, swirling around me and forming my outfit as Fulgora's broken body is replaced with my own. Small and sleek, dressed in...
2025-07-06 06:07:46 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Welcome back everyone! I had a very nice break. So to reward your patience, here is a very nice chapter! Enjoy! Either this chapter or the next chapter will likely be the final chapter of Volume 2. Unlike with Magical Girl Mechanical Heart, Are You Even Human isn't actually split up into parts to separate its books and so it's cut up somewhat arbitrarily based on length. However, it's worth noting this means we're about two-thirds of the way through the series! Over halfway! I th...
2025-07-03 05:07:53 +0000 UTC View PostHello everyone! There's a new picture! As per the vote, this one is from Bioshifter, and unlike most things in the Beachgoer tier, it actually depicts a canon event! So... if you've read Bioshifter, I think you know exactly where this is going. Enjoy!
2025-06-27 22:06:31 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hello everyone! Friendly reminder that next week is break week, and so there won't be a chapter next Friday, late or otherwise. I've also got a link to theme music this chapter, so here you go: https://youtu.be/f7iS7F-jUv8
By the way, this is probably about the halfway point for book two. Enjoy!
"A power source," Melpomene hisses. "A power source. 2025-06-22 00:45:12 +0000 UTC View Post
A/N: Hmm. It's 5:30am. I should probably go to bed. Probably. Maybe. Possibly. Potentially. ...Nah.
"Clarification: we are not stealing a transport construct?" Blossom asks.
"Nope," I confirm.
"We are exchanging a transport construct for flat, intrinsically worthless materials," Blossom continues.
"Yep."
"Which we stole."
"Which I stole. You just stood around and gawked ...
2025-06-19 11:31:09 +0000 UTC View PostHey, everyone. I'm very sorry, but I will unfortunately not be able to write the Magical Girl Mechanical Heart chapter this week. Recent health issues with my cat culminated in a 3AM vet appointment that lasted until 5PM the next day, with only a small chunk starting at 7AM during which I could sleep. To make a long story short, my cat is okay, but I am exhausted.
I am also very behind on getting the MGMH audiobook done. Audiobook production is one of those things I do my best ...
2025-06-13 19:34:30 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: I think my poor kitty is sick again. She's been trying to throw up a hairball all day and failing, which I'm fairly sure means there's a risk it's going to get caught in her intestines. She might need surgery! I called the vet and she said to bring her in if she hasn't hocked the hairball up by tomorrow, and it's midnight now and she hasn't done anything but act very lethargic, so I'm really scared! We'll bring her in tomorrow as instructed unless she seems better in the morning....
2025-06-12 06:04:58 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay. I had some real bad brain days this week and I ended up super behind, so today I stayed up until 4am writing five thousand words in one day! Yippie! I have a healthy relationship with productivity. Oh, and we have two magical girl transformations this chapter. Their theme songs are in order as follows:
https://youtu.be/uMvlkOj5LnM
2025-06-08 09:51:07 +0000 UTC
View Post
A/N: I'm back! Hello everyone. I had a good break. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 kicks ass. Great game. Play it. I'm gonna go keep playing it now actually. Enjoy the chapter!
"It truly takes you no blessings to do this? You can simply… create physical records of past events?" Blossom asks me, wonder radiating off of her.
And… well, that's kind of how it works. A video isn't physical per se, and it's arguably taking a record of present ev...
2025-06-05 04:55:47 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Next week is break week. No chapters. Sorry! I, uh, really need this one. Enjoy the chapter!
I've gotta say, even though I already knew Eliza had PTSD, I don't think it really sunk in for me until I watched her descend into war flashbacks in real time. Eyes unfocused, heart rate spiking, emotions freaking out in every direction… it was kind of terrifying to see from the outside. I bet it probably wasn't super fun on the inside, either. Up until this...
2025-05-25 07:50:13 +0000 UTC View Post