Afterword: On Monsters Don’t Cry and What I Learned on the Way

(Note: I'm making this a public post for anyone that would love to read it!  There may be some spoilery bits here for this story and Jazz At Night, so fair warning if you haven't read the last chapter yet!  I'll also include a PDF with a thank to you all of my patrons by name, if you're so inclined!  Enjoy my rambling. :) )

Wow.  Here we are.

So I’ve never written an afterword before, but I felt it was appropriate given the circumstances.  There’s a lot I wanted to discuss, so I’ll try to avoid rambling on too much.

To begin, for those of you that read the story from start to finish, thank you so much for doing so.  I know this is outside of my normal fare, but I’m glad you gave it a chance.  And if not, hey, I appreciate the effort.

Monsters Don’t Cry represented a lot of firsts for me -- the first time I’ve revived an old character for a new purpose; the first time I’ve pushed a “Hard R” rating from start to finish.  The first time I’ve written not one, but two detailed rampage scenes (one heavily implied, one very much explicit).  And the first time I’ve delved into subject matter that most wouldn’t consider entirely “wholesome”.

Funny enough, that’s where this story got its start.  I’ve been told my work has been incredibly wholesome to read, and I love that!  I’m glad to have a reader walk away from one of my stories feeling happier for having read it.  But a small part of me wanted to go a bit deeper,; to test the waters of what I could write, and what I’d be comfortable writing.

Naturally, stepping outside of your comfort zone is one thing.  The challenge is in the execution.

I knew what I wanted to see in the final product.  There would always be some kind of big rampage scene, a crime organization would play a big role in the story, and K, the she-wolf, would be at the center of it all.  And of course, there would be a love interest, because seeing characters fall in love with each other always makes a bit giddy.

But things change as you move forward.  You begin to traits in a character you never anticipated, and you decide to change course and explore that side a little more.  You realize the villain you had in mind wasn’t the best fit, so you change tactics and introduce a new side to what was originally just a name drop.  Your main character went from angry and snarky to cold and detached because you felt the former betrayed the themes you wanted to delve into.  And you end up falling in love with a character you never intended to, and they go from being a side story to the main attraction.

Now, I know that sounds like a lot of changes -- and you’d be right.  The story still went in the direction I intended, and I’m happy with how it ended.  But it’s always a good idea not to trap yourself inside of a box; to be willing to go outside the game plan, if it will benefit your story.  You’ll never follow your outline to an absolute T, and as long as you don’t lose focus, that can be powerful, and take your story into bold new territory.

I went into Monsters Don’t Cry with the goal of making this my best story to date.  Certainly my most complex, failing that.  And every story is a learning experience, so let’s explore where I felt things went well, and where I may have stumbled a bit, shall we?

To start -- writing this story was difficult.  Fun, but difficult.  Although I adore scenes of drama and intensity (those help drive a story forward, after all), they only make up about 20% of my storytelling efforts at most, with the rest being dialogue, character development, or world building.  This was the first time that the thriller moments were high from the get-go, and never entirely let up until the grand finale.  

Imagine going from the silliness and soul-searching of Jazz At Night to a last-minute save from a tall, angry squirrel giantess in the final chapter, and the desperate situation that led up to that in the previous chapter.  Now, take that feeling, and extend it to around ¾ of the story, while making sure to release that tension to keep from burning the audience out every so often.

It’s not easy, that’s for sure.  But I felt I was up for the challenge.

Figuring out that balance was the real trick.  As I drafted and edited each chapter, there was always this tiny voice in the back of my mind that told me this was too melodramatic, too intense, too sad, too violent; that people wouldn’t get it or engage with it as readily as my other works.  I wanted to make sure the macro scenes were exciting and stressful, but never macabre; that the atmosphere was tense, but never overwhelming.  And, of course, making sure people enjoyed K as a character was at the core of it all, even if they didn’t accept every part of her character.

And like any other writer, there are always parts I would have handled differently if I had another opportunity.  But at the end of the day, I was happy with what I had accomplished.  It took me a while to get to this point, but writing for myself was just as important as writing for my audience, because if I’m not enjoying the experience, then neither will the reader.

That all being said, I probably won’t tackle something this dark and intense for a while.  I enjoyed the challenge, but also discovered that writing mean-spirited, stompy vixens and cold, ruthless she-wolves to be fairly draining.  That doesn’t mean I’ll be abandoning exploring darker themes, though -- far from it!  They just won’t be as all-encompassing moving forward, I think.

Will this be the last time you’ll see Karen or Marcie?  Or Rita, for that matter?  Not if I can help it!  This cast has grown on me over the weeks, and if I can think of more to do with them, I’ll certainly give it a shot.  They made for a great foil regarding how my universe handles shifters, because -- let’s be honest, here -- not every person that can make themselves eight stories tall is going to use that power with the best of intentions.  I wanted to give a bit of a realistic edge to a world where size-shifters exist -- just as there are those who will use that gift for good, and even for a bit of fun and mischief, there's a danger in that gift, too.  That power can leave a lot of destruction in its wake when used inappropriately.  And I hope I conveyed that message well -- or at least as best as a story with anthropomorphic animal women who can change their size at a whim can, anyway.

So I’m pretty sure I’m reaching rambling levels now, so I’m going to wrap things up here.  Again, thank you so much for all of your kind words and support.  Despite the struggle, this was oddly therapeutic for me.  A lot’s been happening on the “adult world” side of things, so I’m truly appreciative for every one of you that donates, supports on Patreon, or leaves a comment or a kind message behind.  It goes further than you know.

It’ll be fun to look back on this story in a few years and see the accomplishments (and flaws) I’ve made as I continue to grow and improve as a writer.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds.  But for now, it’s time to start planning the next big tale.  Emphasis on big.

If you’ve read this all the way through, thank you again.  And as always, I’ll see you in the next one.

~Rebecca Cascane