Jealousy - Lucia

She has no right to jealousy. None at all. What right does she have to your life after the way she treated you?

Still, it eats at Lucia’s heart. You were the most important person in her life…if she’s honest with herself, you still are. There’s a pedestal in her heart and she’d tried desperately to knock you off of it to no avail.

Now you’re a stranger she loves dearly, and she’s a stranger you can’t stand.

The jealousy she’d like to deny still lives there, burning in her heart despite how she’d like to deny it. It’s even worse at times like these.

You’re walking only steps ahead of her. It’s a coincidence; you both have an afternoon class and you live in the same hallway, after all. There’s a girl walking beside you, and Lucia can tell it’s not Penelope, the siren you’d become so friendly with. The absence of her curly locks is a dead giveaway there.

She moves further toward you, your shoulders brushing, and she turns her head. Lucia can see the smile curling her lips as she leans down into you space and says something.

Heart lurching in her chest, she tries valiantly to keep her head down and continue marching on. She hopes against hope that you don’t glance back and see her; she knows she’s the definition of pathetic at the moment.

Then, the second after the girl leans into your space, you crinkle your nose and shuffle a few steps away. Lucia realizes then just how tense your posture is, and how your fingers are curling around your keys like a weapon. Then Lucia spots the culprit; the girl is a sorcerer, and flames lick at her fingertips.

No. She can’t…this can’t happen. They’ll rake you over the coals for an assault even if you’re just protecting yourself.

Lucia promised herself she wouldn’t intervene in your life anymore for your sake. This, though? She’s doing this for you, too.

“Hey!” She barks the word out, watching the both of you freeze in place.

In a few long steps she finds himself a few measly feet away, and she realizes she knows this girl. Her name is Danielle, and for the life of her Lucia can’t recall her surname. They’re in the same Elemental Theory class; Lucia had thought she was decent, even gave her notes when she was out sick.

Bitter regret and disappointed sickness sour her tongue.

“Oh, hey, Rivera!” The girl grins lazily, “We were having a chat while we walked. Care to join?”

You’re frozen stiff, eyes wide and locked on Lucia. She realizes Danielle thinks Lucia is her friend here. Then, with bile rising in her throat, she realizes you think the same thing.

“A chat?” Lucia repeats numbly, eyes falling to Danielle’s hands, which previously flickered with flames.

“Yeah,” Danielle gestures to you, “Mind telling your, uh, ex here to give me a chance? I know you ditched ‘em for a reason, but I don’t mind sloppy seconds.”

Lucia jerks backward as if the words are a physical blow. Eyes wide, she glances between the two of you, her nausea growing.

Danielle reaches out again, slinging an arm around your shoulders, addressing you now, “I mean, do you really think many people are willing to give someone like you a chance?”

The words ring in Lucia’s ears. She takes a halting step forward, and Danielle blinks in confusion. The asshole still doesn’t let you go.

So Lucia pulls her fist back and then slams it forward into Danielle’s face. She feels the crunch of bone beneath her knuckles and satisfaction soothes her sickness.

Danielle stumbles back, her nose bleeding furiously. She tries to stem the flow with her hands, but only succeeds in making a mess. She stares in shock, in betrayal, as if she can’t believe Lucia of all people was the one to hit her.

“I’m not your ally here,” Lucis grits out between clenched teeth, “Leave. Now. If I ever see you around again, you’ll find out just how hot seraphic magic can burn.”

Danielle sputters but ultimately tucks tail and runs. Lucia dreads facing you, but bolsters her courage and does it regardless.

Your eyes are wide, staring at her like you’ve never seen her before. Your hands have fallen out of their clenched state, limply hanging at your sides.

“I-“ She croaks before thinking better of it and instead quietly muttering, “Goodnight.”

She goes to speed walk past you, but is stopped by a hand on her wrist. You hold her loosely, as if giving her the option to pull away and leave you.

She can’t bring himself to do it.

She turns, dread curdling her stomach, and she finds you far too close once she’s facing you. Your lips are pursed, but your eyes aren’t angry.

She remembers how you used to smile. She wishes, fleetingly, that she might see it again. It’s a fool’s hope.

“You didn’t have to do that,” You say.

Lucia swallows, “I did.”

You release her wrist, eyes fluttering in confusion, “Why?”

Because she still loves you. Because you don’t deserve all the shit you get. Because she regrets being part of the problem, even unwillingly.

“She was an asshole.” Is what she says instead, because she would never say any of her real reasons to your face.

Your brows furrow, like you don’t quite believe her. The you reach out and grab her right hand, the one she’d punched Danielle with. Her knuckles are swollen already, and Lucia can tell they’re going to bruise.

You hold her one hand in both of yours for a moment, looking conflicted. Lucia, however, knows exactly how she feels. She savors the touch, but hates it at the same time. Hates it because she knows she can’t seek it freely, hates it because she ruined the only good thing in her life.

“Thank you,” You whisper, dropping her hand and stepping away.

You turn, walking toward the dorms at a much faster pace than usual. She watches you go, longing, regretful…maybe, against her better judgement, hopeful.