Defeating the Cultists Chapter 4

“You’re what?” I asked, still groggy.

I could tell she was excited. The monstrously obese woman was panting, as if she had just run five miles (or five feet, for someone of her size). With each massive intake of air, her massive breasts lifted up and down, dangling precariously in front of my face, threatening to squash me. God only knows how much each of those things weighed. I tried looking past her breasts and at her face, which was a challenge from this position. Her face was flush, which made sense considering how out of breath she was.

Obviously she was in a hurry to tell me about her marriage, which came as a huge shock to me. Obviously, she just had a funeral for her last husband literally the day before. Granted, from all of the information I could gleam, that marriage didn’t exactly last very long. It ended with his death, the details in which I was still trying to understand.

“I’m getting married!” she repeated excitedly.

I tried my best to sit up. I couldn’t move around too much or the foot she stepped on would shoot pain down my spine. I used what little strength I had in my arms to push myself up and away from her prodigious chest. As I moved up, she scrambled to get me a pillow. She grabbed me by the head and wrenched me towards her with incredible and ignorant strength, stuffing my face into her cleavage. She slotted the pillow behind me and let me pull myself back. Now I was huffing and puffing. This woman clearly had no idea of her own strength and size. I was almost another victim of hers… again.

“Um… thanks…” I muttered.

“You’re welcome, Sweetie,” she said.

“So, who’s the lucky guy?” I asked, trying to be polite.

“I know you’re new here, but you might actually know him,” she said. “His name is Moe, he’s a driver. He picks up things, people, whatever we need. And he’s really cute.”

She leaned in close to my ear, so her mouth was almost touching the side of my face. I could feel her hot breath and it was giving me a tickling sensation.

“Not as cute as you though,” she whispered.

She pulled back and gave me a wink. If I could pay her not to do that again, I’d give her everything in my wallet. Imagining a night with this monster was light plotting my own death. And what about Moe? He was one of my drivers. He was bigger than me, as most guys were, but not so big that Helga wouldn’t be an issue. She’d probably crush him just like her last husband. Come to think of it, didn’t he mention something about this in the car when he picked me up…

“Do you think you’ll be better by the wedding?” she asked.

“Oh, um… I don’t know,” I said. “When is it?”

“It will be in one week,” she said. She rubbed her hand against my head lovingly, even though her hand was big enough to pick me up by the head and throw me across the room. I could tell there were some deeper feelings going on, but I wasn’t ready to say for certain. Once she was married, she would no longer be my problem.

“I should be able to go,” I said. “Might have to get wheeled out if I can’t walk, but I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Thank you!” she squealed in excitement. “I’ll wheel you out myself if I have to. I want you in the front row when Moe and I enter the First Shack.”

“The First Shack?” I asked.

“Oh you don’t know?” she asked.

“Sorry, must have missed it in the brochure,” I said.

“Well, when two people get married here, it’s customary that they have sex immediately. And I mean immediately.”

“Immediately?”

“Immediately,” she said. “As soon as both of us say ‘I do’, we are led to the First Shack. It’s the law. Every married couple MUST comply. They both enter the shack, have sex in the provided bed, and when they are finished, they come out and we have a celebration. It’s usually a really fun time…”

“Usually?” I asked.

“Well, when I got married, everything seemed to be going to plan. We had both taken our clothes off, which was hard and he had to help me. He got on the bed first, and he seemed really nervous. I guess I was caught up in the moment, I was just so excited about getting married. I jumped on him and… and…”

I could tell she was starting to tear up. This must have been very hard for her. But I was finally going to hear from her what happened there.

“And what, Helga?” I asked.

“Well, it was hard… and then it wasn’t…” she said, wiping a tear from her cheek.

“What was hard?” I asked.

“You know…” she trailed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to burden you with this, you’re in pain. I just really want you to come to my wedding, it would mean so much if you made it. I’ll make sure you’re there.”

She pulled me in and gave me a huge hug, holding my face against her gigantic breasts yet again. This time, she didn’t show any intention of letting go. She rocked me back and forth, and I had to be careful not to let it affect my foot.

“Get better, Sweetie,” she said softly.

“Am I interrupting?” came a woman’s voice.

We both turned and looked at the door. To my horror, it was Susan. A lot of thoughts raced through my head. Her name was Michaela, but I wouldn’t know that yet, so I had to be oblivious. I was injured, so I was probably going to get chewed out by her. That was going to suck.

But I would be lying if the first thing that ran through my head wasn’t the incredible embarrassment of being held by a massive fat woman with breasts the size of beach balls smothering my face. This was not how I wanted her to find me here, maybe the last possible situation. I could see in her eyes, with the one I that hadn’t sunken into Helga’s breast flesh, that she had a major smirk on her face.

“Are you new?” Helga asked politely.

“Yes,” she said. She looked at me dead on. “My name is Michaela. I’m a nurse and I’m here to help with the infirmary.”

“Oh wonderful!” Helga said, hugging me tighter. “Sweetie, this little woman here is going to take great care of you, I just know it!”

Now my whole face was buried in her cleavage. Unfortunately my ears were exposed, so I would have to hear whatever these two women were saying. Maybe I could eat a suicide tablet now?

“Yes SWEETIE,” Susan said mockingly. “So, first thing is I need to take a look at his foot. Any chance I could get some alone time with Todd here?”

She let me go and I dropped back to the pillow. I gasped for air, and refused to make eye contact with Susan.

“Sweetie, I’ll check up on you tomorrow,” she said. She gave me a kiss on the forehead. “You’re in good hands.”

She stood up and left the room, leaving me alone with Susan. I almost wished she would stay so Michaela over here would have to have a good bedside manner. Alas, with her gone, I was ready to get in trouble.

“So…” she said, looking around for cameras. “Says here on this sheet you have a shattered foot?”

“Y-Yes,” I said.

She walked closer slowly. Deliberately. She walked like each step had something to prove to me.

“You’ve been here for… one day?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve injured yourself, drawn the attention of the entire village, and you’re getting a big fat woman to smother you?”

“Look, if you put it that way it’s-”

“Shut up,” she said calmly, though I could tell she was already losing her patience. “I need you to focus. Let’s not even worry about the mission right now. Let’s work on being a normal person named Todd who doesn’t FUCK UP everything he does. Does that work for you? Yes or no?”

I nodded.

“Good,” she said, now at my bedside. She was holding the chart pretending to take notes about my case. She was a very convincing nurse. “Now… we have submitted the profiles into the algorithm. In two weeks, it will be announced that we have been selected for marriage. You are going to be just as surprised as I am. I need you to be able to walk down the aisle, is that going to be a problem for you?

“I mean just looking at my-”

She didn’t have to say anything. The stern look on her face stopped me dead in my tracks. This was my job and I was going to do it right.

“No problem,” I said.

“Good,” she said.

“I’ll rendezvous with DARREN and let him know you’re in the loop. We’ll try not to make fun of you too much, but you make it so easy. Any questions before I go?”

I shook my head.

“Good. Try not to get squashed.”