April Question Thread

Yo Mr. Topher, I remember you talking about owning the super slept on PSVITA. My question is what is your favorite vita exclusive?

Cum the DNA of the soul

Hey Chris, Sween, and ! Been listening since the start and finally bit the Patreon bullet for the merch. My question is if something were to happen that would immediately turn you into a raging bigot with no chance of rehabilitation, what would that thing be?

Cummed uncle butt

Hey Jeffery Dahmer, O.J. Simpson, and Bob Marley. Which would you choose: never needing to sleep or never needing to use the bathroom?

Some of those that fuck horses-Cuming in The Name

Sup DEI crew, been a sub for a while now. None of you minorities have ever read my question but shooting my shot again. Derek have you seen the expose video done on you from last year and if so what are your thoughts on it https://youtu.be/tsWvRpj-da4?si=p-ZBZkKSiIyUvZEq

Chris’s gay college experience

Thoughts on Sweeny’s hero OJ dying??

Private Private's Privates

Quick question, if all of you were to do a commentary track for a movie which movie would it be, the idea of watching rocky with the commentary track being all about piss bits sounds much more enjoyable.(possible extra ammo material)

Don't call me Shirley.

hey guys, imagine a fantasy world where everyone who's been to epstein's island is somehow put on trial, prosecuted, and sentenced for various child endangerment, exploitation, assault, etc. crimes (lot of suspension of disbelief, i know). now also imagine that stephen hawking is still alive. what do they do to him? do they put an almost entirely paralysed man in prison? house arrest?

Reluctantly crouched, 'bout to blow a guy. Cum is pumping, he's humping in time. (The Distance)

yurrrrr, what’s y’all’s favorite original songs from fictional universes, like any songs from spongebob or phineas and Ferb or live action like that version of the blondie song from The Boys by Soldier Boy, riff at your leisure

JVNUSTHEGOD

Howdy, have you ever smacked your dick accidentally(HARD SLAP) when taking a bath while trying to grab falling soap or something you dropped, this happened to me recently so it left me pondering and in quaking pain.

Zorro CUMmeado

How do you guys think the Baldur’s Gate 3 companions would react to the Mass Effect companions? Like how would Lae’zel react to the Krogan? What would Karlach think about the galaxy? Thought it would be a fun thought experiment. Keep it up!

Cummander ShepHARD

Hello you fine gentlemen! I recently learnt during my studies that within the court of Henry 8th of England, there was a role of Royal Cum Catcher/Semen Bowl Holder to clean up his emissions. If you were king what heinous jobs would you introduce?

The Royal Cum Catcher

What made you guys fall in love with certain games like destiny or halo was it how the game felt or the fun you had with friends?

Chris bitchanado and Sween Blackman how do y’all feel about the Into the Light and Final shape

Hello it's me your biggest fan If you have the divorce your current spouses And mary one of the members from the podcast who would it be in why Lots of love your biggest fan freddie ❤️

Freddie your biggest fan

Dear Dead, Gay, and Black, Curious what your thoughts are on the 2019 film Joker? The trailer for Joker 2 dropped today and it looks kinda great. Can’t wait for the merch drop btw. Tootles

Private Private's Privates

Hello Darky, Darker, and WHITE MAN, this question is more towards Derrick and Sween. What did you guys think about the House of the Dragon show? What are your favorite moments and are you guys worried about this fucking up like GoT?

Imagine coming home and Ethan Ralph is there, He says, Thought you could talk shit huh Darky, then cums on your doorknob

Hello, I hope this question finds you well. I heard it on WKUK's Self Suck Saturdays (RIP Trevor Moore), & thought it would be perfect for you guys. If your mom & sexual partner switched bodies & the only way to reverse it was to fuck one of them to completion, what do you do? Looking forward to your collective insight. Thanks

Phallic Boldween's Skeet Shoot, I ain't shootn' blanks

Hey boys just wanted you to know that something called “Cum Metal” exists. A subgenre of baddie core. Bands in this genre include Sleep Token and Deftones. I thought Derrick would at least get a kick out of this lmao

9-11 is a reference to MGS 2

HARK TRIO OF TREPIDATION! Lately i have been really diving into 40K minis and it has swallowed my spare time whole, leaving me torn between painting/assembling minis or hopping into RDR2 or Helldivers. That said my question is: do you have any hobbies outside work that eat up time you want to spend on other hobbies? IE, outside youtube or a standard 9-5, cheers.

Hunter Du Bois-Tokin with Rolkien Tolkien

Greetings Dick, Dick, and Richard, Not really a question, just wanted y’all to be aware of a new Amazon movie starting John Cena who sings hypersexual covers of famous songs. You should sue. P.S. fun fact: John Cena has a contract stipulation in all movies he makes where he always does a take in English and Chinese. Enjoy the misinformation

Dank McMuffin

Hello Black Snake, Black Ocelot, and Chico. Long time listener, first time homeless person. I recently replayed the Metal Gear series in preparation for the Snake Eater remake, and have found that "Ground Zeroes" was the most fun I had with the franchise, even better than "Snake Eater." So, my question is what would you three respectively say is your favorite Metal Gear game and what is your favorite moment/character from it? Hugs and kisses XOXO

Logan Fisher

Would you rather wake up one day looking like super sayian broly from dragon ball or freeza

Questionable

Hay there Chris RayCon, Sween, and Derick (don’t know how to spell Derik nor do I care to learn) With Smiling Friends coming out with season 2 are you worried for Zach Hadel aka psychicpebbles that he’ll gain popularity and the masses might find out he said the n-word? Or do you think it’ll be a Joji/Filthy Frank situation where no one will give a shit. I hope the latter as I’m a die hard fan until we find out he’s a pedophile, god forbid

I strip copper so I can cop strippers

Dear Rictor, Sunspot and Bishop, but with a penis over his right eye instead of an M Do you guys think JFK ever fucked a black girl?

Jewish Sopranos be like Shabbatabing

HARK TRIPLE OF TROUBLE! I have recently abandoned all video game pursuits for the joys of warhammer but still am feeling that urge to hop onto hell divers. Thus, my question is: is there any hobby type activity you feel yourself being pulled to but cannot do because you devote more time and importance to another hobby/liesure activity? To clarify, outside of work, ie a 9-5 or youtube.

Hunter Du Bois-Tokin with Rolkien Tolkien

Got to double dip here. On ep 220, you started talking about Geiger counters. Through means I am unable to disclose, I was able to get one (wild story). Later, I became concerned with the water quality at my parents house. I insisted on a water test and found the uranium levels were 8x greater than the acceptable amount. They bought a filtration sytem so now its fine. One day I take the Geiger counter to one of the bathrooms I've been using since childhood. And the counter starts SCREAMING the moment I bring it close to the toilet. I am now waiting for the ass cancer to consume me.

Staingo Jenkins

Howdy boys, recently my friend group and I made up a new ridiculous Creation myth where we are the result of Father time back shotting mother Earth. I would be interested in hearing what kind of fucked up reality you 3 can come up with. Ps we are all sentient sperm in our lore.

iSho

If you had to kill yourself in public in a way that would be bizarre and confuse a bunch of people, what would you do?

I’m Johnny GAWKSville, and this is Gayass!

Hello. If you could choose one game to get a remaster/remake to fix issues/improve on mechanics the game has, what would it be? I'll say The Sims 2.

Mister Jimmy Jam

Hyperbolic Cum Chamber

Good Tidings, Hard in the paint, Objectively, and Sween's is the worst one by far PLEASE stop bringing the rest of us black folks down and expand your vocabulary you thick-lipped bug eyed nappy-headed chimp. As requested, an update. I came clean to my girlfriend about The Sound of Semen shortly after posting that question. I was miraculously saved by her generous sense of humor, though she's sworn revenge against me and I will forever live in paranoia as a result. While I've got your attention, I work as a game developer and while we were hanging out, a Programmer friend of mine that's never seen this show got dangerously high and coincidentally pitched Gangsta Quest to me for 4 straight hours. While we have plenty of ideas as is (Such as a homeless class that deals fentanyl-based crit damage with dirty syringes), I wanted to request Sween and Derrick get together and shit out a Gangsta Quest Extra Ammo for the two of us to steal ideas from. Apologies for the long question, keep up the good work.

Demon Days and Discovery (Daft Punk) are the some of the best and most influential albums of the 2000s prove me wrong

How do you guys feel about J Cole sampling a Meat Canyon video? He sampled Wabbit Season, which includes the voices of MeatCanyon, Brock Baker and yalls friend Mick “RicePirate” Lauer. Crazy shit

Hayden Glass

Hey there skinny godzilla, fat godzilla, and just ok godzilla. What if there was a real life celebrity death boxing match where real celebrities had to box to the death to keep their fame? Who would you guys choose to fight each other and why?

Bruce Timm Lex Luthor is voiced by Clancy Brown

Hey Chris Regge, Some Fap Guy, and the Notorious BLT. Long time listener since episode 0 and first time patron. Imagine the apocalypse has arrived and the only way you can escape is by using one of these vehicles: The Challenger Space Shuttle, the Ocean-gate Submersible, or Malaysian flight 370. Which do you choose? You can decide individually or collectively which option to take. Thanks for all the laughs

The 3 terabytes of Porn on Chris’ old MacBook

what’s up goon, gooner and goon supreme, to follow up from my last question about no music at work, i work at a shitty office for a big clothing brand where all we do is track sales and shit on a computer screen. for 6-9 hours. a day. so obviously, our GM allowed us to have headphones to pass the time since we do literally nothing all day, but eventually some fat ass corporate dude came in and some idiot didn’t get the memo to put his shit away and we got our rights revoked, one of the few times i genuinely considered bombing a building. my question is what was the absolute worst time someone else ruined something for you and your entire job, classroom, etc and if you have or haven’t considered ripping their heart out a la Indiana Jones

Where’s The Water

‘Sup, goons. Have you ever gotten a weird reaction after telling someone where you grew up? I’m from Baltimore and decided to go to school out of state and there’s a weird amount of people from Maryland that came here too. Every conversation is the same, they’ll say there from a rich suburb and once I tell them where I’m from, they’ll look at me like I beat a newborn baby with a shoehorn. Thanks babies.

Jacko

What’s up gentlemen this might be a question for Derrick only but if you guys have opinions feel free to jump in. How do you feel about people gatekeeping music? For example because of tiktok (no shame) I recently discovered deftones and I’m really vibing with their music, but my friend thinks the opposite he can’t wait for them to lose their popularity and go back to being lowkey again. Is man stupid? Thanks again guys and if you can’t reach my question this month idk I’ll just throw it again next thread. 🧡

Judahwong Ni-ni-NAHHHH

Hey fellas .The other day Hoobastank and chumbawamba both came on the Radio on my way to work and it just had me wondering . What do yall think is the gayest name for an artist/band?

Fine erectrify mine ,erectrify my homo cock

Heya Snarkies Quick follow up to my last write-in because I *genuinely* did not expect Derrick he'd actually give One Piece a shot. Just wanted to say that if he makes it as far as the 3rd arc when Ussop's introduced to tough it out because it's widely considered the worst arc in the series, though it's immediately followed by one of the best in the early material. Much love, laters

DripMH, Lord of Homeless Drip

hey bisexual belated mistakes, one time I did a girl in a forest behind a bowling alley. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve done the deed? (very vital info)

kai

Heya Chocolate Musketeers. You have the opportunity to create a new specialized chain store (like Best Buy specced with technology), what do you decide to sell?

Gay Gamer, A Gaymer If You Will

Hey pissy boys what's your favorite shade of piss to drink.

Piss Drinker Union

Hello He, Him and Who. Do you have a really obscure game you played, that nobody is talking about? I remember a PS2 game called “Dog’s life” looking back on it feels like a fever dream. You played as a dog. Trying to rescue a female dog from an evil company, that was planning to turn her into a cat food. I need to play it again.

Genderbend Chris, Sween and Derrick and make them FUTA

What's up you sweet tight boys! Since your gay parodies and silly movie ideas are such a hit with us poor unfortunate homeless, why not fusion dance those 2 ideas into a gay movie parody?

MaxSilhouette

SUP eternal 13year old, Mr. always wrong, and Chris. Since dipshit said that assassin's creed 2 story was so stupid you guys make your own assassin's creed 2 plot. Like the gears of war movie you guys made on the extra ammo

randeep kang

You have the ability to go back in time and make someone gay. Who do you make gay?

The power of your penis in the palm of my hand

Greetings right wing pipeline. Mainly for Chris but open for all 3 of you. Any chance of you appearing in a guest role on Smiling Friends? Keep up the great work of converting the impressionable youth.

It's Marcus, last month the CoG can support you at 25 as Baird spent our funds on Myrrah's only fans

hey gays, what would you give notorious youtubers as their “serial killer name”? murderers are notorious for having names that are far cooler than they deserve like Richard Ramirez being called the Night Stalker, what serial killer name would you give notorious internet shmucks like Ethan Ralph and SSSniperwolf and so on?

JVNUSTHEGOD

Evening DEI-Cast, Simple question mainly for chris, if you may have taken a peek into modern gaming discussion you might’ve seen how anti critical thinking it’s been. My question is how do you feel about people plugging their ears on any sort of constructive thoughts on something big or even small aspects, mainly it applies to the art. Or do you think we should just turn off our brains and enjoy things. Thanks

Chris’s gay college experience

Sup Cunts, was wondering if you guys have any weird superstitions cause of random experiences, i have this thing where i worry that if i love some piece of art or media something horrible will happen to the creator or a cancelling will occur. like i got put on to Funhaus about a year before they fell apart i watched them every day and then BAM adam kovic is riding dildos in the same office he played games with his boys.

JVNUSTHEGOD

Would you give up your creative outlets (making videos, music, etc) in order to live a more transient life of adventure? As in traveling often, visiting/exploring remote places in the country, new job ever year, etc. Asking for a friend.

Staingo Jenkins

Hey goobers. If VR tech reaches sword art online/ready player one levels (basically full immersion in an entirely different world), how devastating do you think the effects would be on society as a whole?

SillyPuttyEater

Hello glasses, laugh, and thighs, if you could fuse any two games into one better experience, which two games would you choose?

3XO politely informing someone that they dropped their cum while waiting in line

Howdy boys! Not a question, but i would love to hear you guys write or rewrite some classic b-list kids action movies. Spy Kids, Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Sky High or the like. Would like to see how you all could improve those!

Griffithonathanathaniel

Howdy boys! If you could pick things to have for an irl heads up display (HUD) what would you want to have.

Griffithonathanathaniel

Hypothetical situation: you get to have a dragon that you can fly around on and it's real badass, but you have to fuck Mitch McConnell. Are you getting that dragon?

semz

You get any super power you want, BUT, you have to have a micropenis, less than 2 inches. You can’t have some superpower that fixes it either. You’re stuck with the micropenis forever. You takin it?

GreyGhost

Hey 3 big booty enjoyers. I was just wondering what would be a really funny collectors edition item to add for a video game or movie, for example spec ops the line would be you getting you charged with real war crimes

Wolfang Ramirez

What kind of apocalypse do you think you fellas would do best in? Whatever the apocalypse is, humanity isn't totally finished or anything, but it's still 'the end of the world as we know it'.

Avici Monday left me strokin’,Tuesday I was through with gropin’,Wednesday my aching balls were broken,Thursday waiting for cum

I know you think miles morales having his energy sword is dumb, but have you seen CW's DC stuff? The flash, reverse flash and godspeed have a lightsaber duel using swords made out of speedforce.

Chris's 6'2 stunt double

Howdy gents, Mostly Derrick but Chris/Sween feel free to chime in: have you see the indy wrestling promotion Soft Ground Wrestling Uganda? Its essentially its own wrestling promotion where all the wrestling happens on dirt, and the main heel was a white dude literally called Lord White. Keep being snarky

Sweeny showers in sneakers.

Hey Snark boyos! Something that came up on an episode of Sacred a while back was Colin mentioning Breaking Benjamin and with their lineup change, posing the question of whether that’s really Breaking Benjamin still or not. Much as I do enjoy Breaking Benjamin I definitely see that point. That prompted me to think though (and seemed fitting for this show): are there bands with lineup changes that you guys prefer/ended up better than the original? My mind instantly goes to Howard Jones with Killswitch Engage; they went from a band I really liked to one I absolutely loved all thanks to Howard Jones’ vocals. They went back to their original vocalist, and I think they’re still awesome, but IMO it doesn’t touch the Howard Jones era. His new band Light the Torch kicks ass. Anywho, appreciate all you guys do. Thanks for making my work days and commutes enjoyable with laughter. Hopefully Vince McMahon doesn’t shit on any of you guys (allegedly).

Landon Keith

Hey spooks, probably has been asked before but any chance of getting Colin on the podcast? I know he’s a busy dude, but unhinged Colin would awesome. I watched a recent ep of constellation where Chris asked everyone to list fictional characters who were on Epstein’s flight logs. Hilarious shit.

Lizurd

Hey Edd, Ed, and Eddy. Long time housed and newly homeless. If you could entirely redesign your fellow cohosts (including voice) what would your edits be? Love the goofs and gaffs y'all get up to, keep on trucking

Move well Study well Play well Eat well Rest well

¡Pistola Chris! Have you checked out a demo of Judas by any chance? If so what YA think

A smiling friend named Bryan

Hi there goob, gooby, and Chris goob gun. New patron here. Quick question for you guys. While you guys are very funny, I also find your political takes and fun facts very interesting. My question for you guys as a 21 year old wanting to get into politics and also just wanting to just become a more learned person is, what books, articles, studies, authors, etc do you recommend? Thanks for all the laughs and genuine thoughtful conversations.

Guggie

Do you guys think you could (not would) enjoy an orgy

I don't want to set my ass on fire, I just want too see a really big fart

Please god no

Patrick, hit em with that autistic flow!

Not a question but Quentin Reviews just dropped an over 38 hour video unironically

a jeff

Greetings to the Sole Reasons I’ve started watching the Dragon Ball Series. Time for a goofy music question. What are your favorite musical mixes/ musical rips? What I mean by that is, when you take the lyrics or music from two songs and mash them together. The YouTube channel SilvaGunner does a great job with this and I feel like Chris would like the channel, seeing as it’s nothing but gaslighting people into thinking they’re listening to an official soundtrack. Thanks and look forward to future merch!

The Papini Bros present Master RoshiFlow “We smokin Dino Caps and Flying Nimbuses you stupid piece of shit”

Ah thanks lol. We'll see if the lads agree

Gay Jonah Gaymeson, Chief Editor of the Gayly Bugle

That's genuinely mental. Of course that's weird LMAO

ManOfAction

The video I mentioned is on the WorldOfTShirts subreddit BTW. Most upvoted

ManOfAction

Hey gays. It's me, sweenys favourite. Not really much of a question but just asking if you guys have heard of the newest Lolcow WorldOfTShirts. Seemed like a run of the mill disabled person that tiktok loves to harass, but he soon descended into serious alcoholism and now can't leave his NY home without being harassed and filmed. Also theirs a video of him screaming the n word. Lots of love! ❤️

ManOfAction

Hey Two and a Half Men. What are some of y’all’s favourite non-firearm weapons in video games? For me it’s probably either Blaidd’s great sword from Elden Ring or basically any time a throwing knife exists. Thanks for all the great episodes boys keep it up.

Ted Kaczynski

Hell Penis Williams and the gay tones, simple question here but what's your favorite dumb fad of all time, example: fidget spinner, slap bracelet, planking ECT, thank you and have a nice day or don't

The Patron Formerly Known as the PuertoRicanGenius

Hey Unlockables and the Spic (Band name?) As my name and my greeting may suggest, I, just like Derrick, have a very immature sense of humor. There's only one person close to me that shares the same, often disgusting, sense of humor (My ex-wife, now best friend). Example: She's the only person that I can openly say that something is fucking gay and get a laugh out of. How do you cope with having a sense of humor that you can't share with almost anyone? It's even harder for me since I work in the film/TV industry and I ALWAYS have to be careful to not let my brand of humor slip out (You know how these far-left "artists" are). Thanks for the laughs and good day to you guys.

A half-black, half-Vietnamese person named Bich Nga

Hello black Johnny Cage, fat Nagoriyuki, and even shorter Pit with glasses -What is the best way to explain sex to a tween hitting puberty? -I had my parents explain it to me VERY vaguely and had no idea girls could get horny until I was around 16.

Zorgolon

Worst name you saw on here?

listening to sween makes me wish they were slaves

Suddenly you awake to a bloody knife in your hand and a corpse on the ground. What do you do next?

'Go your own gay' by Fleetwood Mac

When are the Snark Tank licensed cum rags coming in, im tired of cumming on myself and letting it crust over. I can hardly move

My dick fell off

Hey Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Fat Fuck Retard (just kidding love you Derrick) When I was in middle school my friends and I used to always draw random shit in the backs of textbooks. Shit like extremely unflattering caricatures of the special ed kids (we eventually got caught but i got away with it because i was "a pleasure to have in class"). The question is: What is some devious ass thing you used to do when you were young? Like real demonic shit you'd never do again? Please tell me so that I can cancel you. Die

Beeezie

Howdy boys If you could make one person tell the truth for the rest of their life who would you pick, alternatively you can pick three people to tell the truth for one month each

Scottertot

Hello Five Guys, Taco Bell, and Raising Canes Unambiguous positivity time! What is something in your lives that you're really happy about? Any fun shit with Jojo? Any good memories from sacred 300? Has Lily drank any particularly good piss lately? Let me know what's been putting you silly creatures in a good mood

Chris's alarmingly small nipples

Greetings Chris, Derrick, and the one who went to bat for Nazis Question from previous month. Is there any game mechanic (preferably shooter) with potential you feel hasn't been done before or done justice? Cheers.

Using infants as a nunchucks

Hello intelligent gentleman, I remember Derrick talking about power rangers spd, which was my favorite show as a kid, and I had the idea of the three of you being forced to be power rangers. Discuss how that would go.

Darth Dumbass

Greetings internet schizo voices in my head!! Simple question this time: if you could each make a single person DEVASTATINGLY SENILE (like total sundowning) who would you choose for the most personally beneficial or funny results? Stay homo brothers

Thecockwizard

Hello, guys who come into my ears weekly. My favorite genre of science fiction writing is speculative biology/evolution, such as Man After Man, and All Tomorrows. I wanted to know your thoughts on it especially in regard to how it compares & contrasts with videogame aliens, such as those in Mass Effect or Halo. (Ps my name is supposed to be "one" (cum) by metallica)

HoldMyBreathAsIWishForDeath,OhGodI'mCumming

What is up latent schizophrenics and that other guy, if you could make an ambitious video game based on any movie/show/cartoon of your choosing, what would you pick and what would the game mechanics be? Bonus points for picking something stupid.

Billiam The Loser Man (I Drink Yoohoo)

Howdy frinky slinky and dinky what is an objectively bad piece of media you will defend to death?(The Room or any Neil breen film not allowed)

Stacy's Dad is So Gay and it's Rad!

Greetings Snarky Boys. Recently a coworker of mine spent nearly an entire month without their voice. That got me thinking, assuming your primary source of income wasn't your voice, how long do you think you could go without verbally talking?

Nicholas Brilhart

Hey butthead turd swallowers, With ya'll planning to have the podcast in person, will that also lead to more live action content? (Like the Twitter Trash series). Thanks and perish!

Steven Crowder OWNS Candace Owens after buying her at an auction

You magically get the budget/ability specifically to make any project you want to make whether it’s a movie, TV show, or online content. What do you choose to create? CLARIFICATION: there’s no scheduling conflicts and everything you want to work out for this project magically works out.

Pouring Hot Sauce Into Derrick’s Gaped Rectum

Hello fellers, Just wanted to ask if you guys had any weird pet peeves when it comes to stuff in bands or songs? For example one of mine is when there’s a song and a word or phrase is repeated in the chorus and even worse A LOT of times and it ends up being the title of the song. Call me crazy but it seems corny to me. What say you?

9-11 is a reference to MGS 2

Hello Kings of the Homeless, It was amazing seeing you in person Chris, you guys killed it at Sacred 300. What was your favorite moment during the show? And what spots you recommend to visit?

RK128

Hey long Johnsons, Of all the friends houses you visited, what is the most inhuman den of a house you ever stepped inside of? Stay sexy and make more music now.

That_One_Furry

I was at a friend's house, and after a few hours of hanging out he and his girlfriend abruptly went into his bedroom without saying anything to me. After 5 minutes I realized what was happening, and after 45 minutes of sitting by myself I said "fuck it" and left. He insists it was no big deal, so I ask: am I wrong for thinking it's shitty to bang someone while you have friends over?

Gay Jonah Gaymeson, Chief Editor of the Gayly Bugle

Hidey ho Franklin, Trevor, and Lamar What trials and tribulations do you think people should have to go through to earn passes for different slurs? Get fucked in the butt to earn the fag pass? Severe brain injury to call someone retarded? Blackface in a klan meeting to earn the n word pass?

28 US marines in black ford raptor trucks sieging Ram Ranch looking for prince harry so they can fuck his butt

Hello, gents. What would be your Dragon Ball signature move? Bonus points if you have a transformation

Fifty-Dollar Patrons get to design Sweeney’s newest laugh

What’s up guys! Have you caught any episodes of X-Men 97 yet, and if so, what are your thoughts?

SquawksPal

Hey their tubbies! What kids tv network (Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel) did you guys watch the most growing up?

Cocky Bowel-boa vs A-Penis Peed

Hey Ellen, Oprah and Wendy. Your favorite game of all time is being remade for "modern audiences." What changes would constitute a worst case scenario for each of you? Love and Cum, The Captain

Captain Sensible

What's a take you have, that will get you in trouble for sharing. Mine is that a nice butt on a girl is wasted on lesbians. They don't have the equipment to truly enjoy it to its fullest.

Tendercut

What's good you delectable dick-havers. If you could wake up in the body of someone else for 24 hours, whose body would you take over and what would you do? Note: if the person dies as a direct result of your actions, you don't get to wake back up in your body

Papa_Gzeus

Hello creatures. If given total freedom from any and all consequences, what hilarious pranks (crimes) would you do?

Oof ow my balls they hurt so bad

Hello goon squad. What mundane game show would you love to absolutely ruin with the introduction of a singular chaotic element? Wheel of Fortune but it bankrupts you in real life? Jeopardy but instead of "double jeopardy", they release bees into the studio? Let me know.

Some Black Thighs, Derek's OnlyFans coming soon...

Dear Dark, Darker, Yet Darker- what’s a hobby you each would want to start if you had the means? I for one would love to own a good-sized workshop where I can tinker and build to my heart’s content.

BigUglyJordan

Hello 3 peens in my pod. Derrick talking about getting into Rammstein was pretty cool as they’re the artist I listen to the most by far, so I had to mention that if you haven’t seen they’re music videos for a lot of their newer stuff are fucking awesome. (Also if you haven’t already listen to Zick Zack it’s crazy)

SillyLittleEnbyWithAMissile

Hello snarky boys! If you could introduce a new social convention (or change an existing one) and force everybody to follow it, what would it be? for example, instead of clapping to show appreciation, everyone must now yell “GOOD”

becca

Hello (insert preferred racial slurs here). Name a show or game that you each loved so much it hurt when the writing became dogshit? I love gears of war but when 5 turned JD Fenix into a civilian killing war criminal as an excuse to sideline him it genuinely upset me.

Commander-in-Queef

Hey guys. If you could permanently fuse with one other person in the world via Potara earrings who would it be? No matter who you pick, that person willing.

ComicG

Dear Mike, Lu, and Og, If you had to design a hitman level what would it be and what would the funniest disguise/story mission for Agent 47 be? Bonus points if you can make it gay themed. Keep busting my gut your chucklefucks. P.S. on a previous episode you asked why old bands keep touring, one reason is random musicians buy the naming rights and just tour as them. For example the band Foreigner has zero original members left.

Gay Smiling Friends Be Like- Hooray Charlie you bred me! I'm boy preggers Charlie. I love dick Charlie! I love dick!

Tldr I have a nick name because some asshole killed a kid on the otherside of the world 12 years ago

Sir, shitting up my back.

What is up my goofy goobers, who's the strongest fictional character you think you could beat in a fist fight? I'd say for me it would be close but I could probably beat Caillou's dad

The Nightman

Hi guacamole nword penises. How do you determine the difference between changing your mind after receiving new information or simply downloading a new opinion because you want to agree with someone you like?

buy a man eat fish, he day, teach fish man to a lifetime.

Hey boys. What are some nick names within your friend groups that when prompted to tell the story of their origin, the person asking no longer talks to you at the party? (Worth mentioning I'm Australian, nicknames are definitely more of a thing here) My friends nickname is cherny (Chernobyl), because he once took a shit out of a tree and another friend said "why does your asshole look like the elephants foot?" My nick name is Jacmac, whilst being a combination of my first and last name; in 2012 playing halo reach with the boys I had an insane KD in btb and one of the boys said "you don't Frick frack the jacmac" it's a reference to a meme back in 2012 "you don't flim flam the ZimZam" a meme referencing George zimmerman getting a way with murdering Trayvon Martin

Sir, shitting up my back.

Knowing squirt is piss makes it taste better. I say Piss away tinkerbell

Sir, shitting up my back.

Papa Bear, HoneyBadger and Mouse. Mostly for Sween, but who would your dream D&D table consist of?

Stratman

i can’t think of anything at the moment so imagine three racial epithets. what are some shows or movies you’ve seen or enjoyed recently? thoughts on dune 2? thanks niggas!

child endangerment

Hey boys, is there ever going to be spotify inergration for the patreon page? I love it for Last Stand and, it would be cool to see it here too.

Zero

Hello woke guy, sleepy guy and dead inside guy. Each of you wakes up as a different member of imagine dragon for a week, before you just say "I kill myself" you have the opportunity to ruin their reputation, drop anything under their name, or you can stop one another from trying to ruin their lives. What happens?

Chat Noir

Hello SnarkWANK If you were stuck in a Groundhog Day situation, reliving the same 3 days and the only way out is to become president, how do you escape the loop? I would exploit the knowledge I gain from everyone’s personal lives to ‘predict’ the future and pretend to be the messiah. Either that or I’ll go insane. Stay gay

Quentin Dunkaccino

Hallo educated black man, musical black man and Puerto Rican who makes music that hits too close. How would you three handle waking up with each others genitalia each morning and only the original owner having any sensation of what happens? For example: Chris wakes up one morning with Sweens and decides to get a Prince Albert. Chris'll feel nothing, but Sween will get the full experience.

The homeless cat that Shane Dawson impregnated

Hello Snark, Horny, and Facade. Long time patron, first time listener. What are some things you guys are envious of about each other. Could be as dumb as physical attributes or lived events. Ps if y’all are ever in Minnesota I’ll take you bar hopping and show y’all how a Viking gets down

The depressed Minnesota man

Guys, Squirt is just piss. They may say that it also is comprised of vaginal lubricant and excretions from Skene’s glands, but let me give you a comparison to consider. Sperm only makes up a small percentage of the volume of semen. If a guy who has had a vasectomy sneaks in while you’re sleeping and silently throws rope across your face, are you going to say, “Oh, no problem, bro, that wasn’t cum you just glazed me with”? No. The addition or subtraction of a small element isn’t going to change whether it’s piss or cum. It’s gross. Bitches gotta stop pissing all over the place. At least get a glass so Lily can enjoy it. Please discuss.

Dragon’s Sugma Cock A-Jizzin’

Do you mean the Vita? I thought the PSP was a success

TomTomOurLord

Hey fellas, Why did the PSP fail? It just seems like an odd thing that happened considering the massive success that is the Switch and the Steam deck. Were people not ready for it? Was Sony too ahead of the market? Did one of you not buy one causing it to fail?

Yo it's me Vladimir Vladamirnovich Putin, Im going to send Ethan Ralph to destabilize Lithuania so I can take it

Hello different varieties of slurs with the rise in popularity fo smiling friends, I've been a bit nostalgic for older adult swim shows so what were some of your favorites? I personally loved aqua teen hunger force and space ghost coast to coast.

BE GAY KHALED

not a question, but i had Dragon Ball dream where Goku was late for Gohan's birthday and had no present so he turned away, came inside a condom, wrapped it up nice with a bow and everything, and gave it to Gohan with the message "in case you and Videl get serious". I dont know what this means, i think i need to get some help

if i, chris ray gun, had one wish, i'd wish that women could only speak by shouting their names like stupid fuckin pokemon

Hello Two and a half Blackmen. Have you ever considered bringing on a guest of the fairer sex onto the show? If so, who would you each pitch as a good(?) fit for your preposterous banter?

Haggis

hello you magnificent bastards. ive been listening since around episode 20 or so, and ive been watching chris and derrick since i was like 14. so i finally decided to pay what i owe. hope you feel old. anyways, has your partner ever gotten you into a piece of media you never thought you would get into? my partner finally got me to get sanrio stuff and i can't lie i think i get why they're loved. thanks for all the laughs for the past 6 years i hope for many more to come.

Kendrick screaming bum

Would you rather shotgun blast every time you cum, or go into a comatose-like state for 15 hours+ every time you sleep? Nothing can wake you up, not drugs or physical force. The blast of the cum is like a small punch.

DevinIsPregnant

Waddup Boner Inspiration, Chris' Irresistible Dance and Sweeney's Hideous Laughter. How do you all want to be remembered after you die, say in 100 years from now? Stay moist and keep the gay shit cumming.

Haggis

Hey gay, gayer, and gayest. Who are some of your favorite fighting game characters? I personally love Captain America in MvC

TomTomOurLord

Hey gang, love the show, in Tom Sweeney's QnA 7 years ago, Kingston was asked "would you rather watch your parents fuck every day or join in once to make it stop". I'm asking the question again, only with the contingency you cannot kill yourself. Keep up the good work and I hope we get an answer this time

When you came inside my ass, how it all slipped through my crack, this might make us really gay. I'll take it one inch at a time

Hello Ricky Gervais, Stephan merchant, and Karl pilkington, would you rather be a communal tampon or a taco bell toilet for 24 hours. You can perceive and feel everything and suicide isn't an option

YaGuyALT

In all seriousness if you all had a fight to the death, whom do you think would win? Alliances are allowed but eventually one must be crowned the victor.

Scooped James

Well Bai's how's things? Simple question, What movie/show would you replace the entire cast except one person with Muppets? I'd like to see LOTR but gandalf is the only Human.

Emmet Daly

What's a band or artist whose breakup or retirement hit you harder than you expected? Sum41 just dropped their final album and I'm way sadder than I thought I'd be. Happy April you chronic gooners!

Definitely Stephanie

Hey Chris Benoit, Bobby Lashley, and Big Daddy V. Have any of you ever been royally pissed off at a spoiler for a game/movie? Any examples? Love ya boys!

Colandros sucks toes

Hello stank, wrank, and Chernobyl stench Currently working on a video on how to body box a ghost. if you had to do so, how would you go about it and who would you challenge?

FrankenTubbie

hey all, first time question asker here i got my first tattoo recently, and was wondering if any of you had any interesting tattoo stories about you or someone else (by the way i lied about being a first time question asker. fuck you.)

let derreck read the names you tyrant

Hello vampire werewolf and ghoul. If you could make a folklore monster that would haunt the next generation, what nightmare would you create? Keep on slaying

Hispanic Clone Trooper

Whats up Cumboy, Semenman, and spunker, whats the best mexican food and why

A large mexican guy who works at starbucks

Bet! Spaghetti or meat you fuckin humps!

LZ I'm gonna give you my cum, I'm gonna give you my cum, Nut a whole lotta cum, Nut a whole lotta cum, Nut a whole lotta cum