August 2024 Update
Added 2024-08-12 18:06:19 +0000 UTCHey everyone!
Long time no chat! I thought I’d give you all an update on my health and what’s been going on in my life.
As you might have noticed, I haven’t been able to put out a story since June, which is two months—much longer than any period of inactivity I’ve ever had. I’ve been depressed, sick, injured, you name it. It’s been a rough couple of months, to say the least.
In June, I started to feel burned out from my full-time job at an advertising agency. The toxic culture, overwork, and underpayment had me constantly trying to impress and outshine others with similar roles just to avoid being on the chopping block during layoffs. Working late, with minimal overtime pay that wasn’t worth it, really took a toll on my mental health. I began tying my self-worth to how much work I could produce, which impacted my ability to post here. I usually write after work, but the overwork ate into that time, and I felt like my job never ended. On top of that, someone close to me went to the ER for anxiety-related issues, which added even more mental strain to my already overwhelmed mind.
In July, I caught a nasty case of influenza (welcome to flu season!) for the first time in my life. It left me sick and weak for two full weeks, unable to do any writing or work. My brain sometimes equates productivity with worth, so being unable to contribute to my full-time job or my passion project on Patreon pushed me further into depression. Despite this, I still tried to write a bit here and there. After two weeks off work due to the flu, I returned to a mountain of work with ridiculously short deadlines. One would expect a proper company to function without one employee or to have others handle a sick colleague’s workload, but that’s not the company I work for. Functional corporate structure? What’s that? This wasn’t the first time this happened; when I had COVID and was out for a similar amount of time, I returned to work that had been left exactly where I had left it—untouched, overdue, and nearly impossible for one person to finish in just a few days.
Now it’s August. I burned my hand pretty badly on hot congee, sprained my ankle during my weekly bathroom cleaning, and have only just barely caught up with the work I left when I was sick with the flu. I’m feeling much better mentally, but I’m still not where I was before all of this happened. I want to get back to posting my work for you all to enjoy, but I want to stress that it might take some time for me to fully get back on my feet. I sincerely apologize to anyone I’ve disappointed over the past few months. You’ve been giving me your hard-earned money with little to nothing in return.
I currently have a story that I’ve been working on since June. It’s grown in scale and length far beyond what I initially planned. It’s taken me more than two months to write, so at least it’ll be long, right? I’m looking to post it soon, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it (despite the times in between when I wasn’t immersed in my fantasy land and was, instead, miserable—haha). But hey, they say good art comes from pain and struggle.
I know this long wall of text might sound like excuse after excuse, and in many ways, it is. But I believe there are valid excuses, and I hope these are among them.
Lastly, I want to thank all of you who are still here despite the lackluster posts and content over the past few months. It truly warms my heart to have your continued support. I’ve lost a few supporters here and there, and I fully expected to lose more, if not all of you. So, thank you for keeping your subscription; you helped pay for my flu medicine! I really appreciate your support, and believe me when I say that writing this made me tear up a little (but not too much because my keyboard isn’t waterproof—haha).
I hope you all are having a wonderful start to your week, wherever you are.
Sincerely,
Alex
Comments
Yeah, the whole fiasco took a toll on my mental and physical health a lot more than I thought it would. But hey, I am back now! Almost at 100%! Thank you for the offer of being someone I could dump on, too! I will keep that in mind. Yeah, I have come to that conclusion as well that the company doesn't care about me. I will only be doing what I am paid to do from now on, meeting expectations. They don't reward me for exceeding them and never really have, so they do not deserve an inch more than what is in included in the salary they pay me. Ooof. Your experience sounds familiar, I am glad you were able to get out of there and found something that is better!!! Bet they regretted not treating you the way you deserved to be treated in the end. I have a LinkedIn account, yeah! And I have started seeking out new opportunities. I'm okay financially, but being sick really dented it a bit, so I am recovering from that, too. I lost a fair bit of support on here from being inactive, so that is demotivating, but I try not to let it get to me. I have considered doing that, but that leaves me without a safety net, I don't want to quit my job without having one lined-up to replace it. The job hunting landscape is rough it there as it is. I also cannot quit my full time job and pursue the writing thing full time just yet, I need to be around double or triple what I make currently on the Patreon to have that even be considered as an option. It seems like a stretch, but I am hopeful that one day it can be done. 😀 Thanks for reading.
AlextheCatte
2024-09-03 06:35:21 +0000 UTCI know the company doesn't put me as an employee as any sort of priority. I certainly will only do what I am paid to do from now on. I don't want to end up in a hole like that again. Thank you for the well wishes and for your continued support!
AlextheCatte
2024-09-03 06:28:34 +0000 UTCI'm getting there! Thank you for your support!
AlextheCatte
2024-09-03 06:27:20 +0000 UTCEven if it takes a year that's fine with me. I would feel guilty paying for content written out of duress rather than from the heart. Keep focusing on yourself, that is all that ever matters.
Quinn Santos
2024-08-26 04:04:06 +0000 UTCWOW, you've been going through so much over the past few months! Toxic work environment, terrible work/life balance, influenza, physical injuries...no wonder you haven't been active much on here. I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been going through. I hope things start moving in a positive direction for you. I'm always happy to chat if you need someone to dump on! The company doesn't care about you. To them, you are just a metric. It's cruel, but that's the harsh reality. You overworking yourself to prove your capability as a good employee just cements your fate of being over-worked and under-compensated. They will expect that level of output from you. And it will only get worse over time. My previous job was very similar. I was the top performer on the team. I had the highest utilization. I was the lead on projects that brought millions in revenue to the company. I did everything I could to prove myself. I took pride in my work and my ability. Did I ever get compensated for my performance? No, not once over the 5 years I worked there. Instead, I was put on a PIP a week before yearly raises. No warnings, no negative feedback. It was like a flashbang to the face. Why did they do it? It was to justify not giving me a raise that year. A week before my PIP was set to expire, I discussed with my manager if I was meeting expectations towards it. She said no. I told her it was unfortunate, and I was disappointed, as I felt I did the absolute best I could. THE VERY NEXT DAY SHE SENDS ME A EMAIL NOTIFYING ME OF A RAISE. In the email she boasts of my performance, work ethic, etc. I gave my two week notice the very next week. My last day at this job was actually last Friday. I have this whole week off until my new job starts up next week. Technically, I'm unemployed right now. But, this has been the best I've felt in years. A whole week of doing whatever I want. I'm picking up a cake on Wednesday to celebrate. 🤣 A coworker was telling me in private that the manager was upset, and will need to hire 3+ new people to replace me. Start applying to other jobs. Make sure you have a LinkedIn account! That's where I have found all of my jobs. How are you doing financially? Are you bringing in good money being a writer? This is a rhetorical question, and is mainly meant for self inflection. Could you quit your job and pursue writing while you are searching for a new job? This would immediately get you out of that toxic workplace. Again, I'm always happy to chat if you ever need a shoulder to lean on. :)
Richard Elmer
2024-08-12 18:39:58 +0000 UTCDamm that's rough. Wishing you all the best Alex. I can relate with the corporate structure of everything falls apart when you take a break. I've learned the best thing to do is only what your paid for. Don't push yourself doing extra, don't pick up overtime if your not compensated properly. As terrible as it is, working as hard as you have been will just encourage the lazy corporate behaviour of 'x will do all of it so we don't need to hire other people' Hope your able to force the company to treat you better or find a better place. Take as long as you need to recover, we'll be happily waiting (:
Warriorcatv2
2024-08-12 18:20:14 +0000 UTCLife is rough all around. You’ll find your groove again. We’ll be here waiting when you do!!
D.j. Arnold
2024-08-12 18:09:12 +0000 UTC
