Behind-the-Song: indie pop girl pt.1

The hashtag song! 😅 This song was 100% inspired and brought to you by a hashtag that I saw on another indie artist's instagram post...I don't usually read the hashtags, but when I do...

This song was honestly so fun to write, but I also hated it so much when I first finished it and I do not know why. I think I just didn't love the cadence of the chorus? I'm really not sure. But once I heard it with a band, I really came around 👍

This song was really meant to be just an exercise for me to express some of the more difficult aspects of being an indie artist. And now I have like...3 whole songs about that 😂Am I okay???

Anyway...

Just an average burnt out indie pop girl / Running 'round the seven circles / Made your own hell

It's actually scary how easily this part came together. I truly did not write any other lyric option for this. These were the first words that came to mind. And I love them so much.

The hashtag that inspired this song was "#INeedADayOff". In my brain, that immediately brought to mind the burnout; overworking yourself day after day and feeling like you need to take time and take a break, but also feeling like there isn't time to take a break and you can't. And seeing the hashtag really reminded me that that's very much the norm for an indie artist.

Like I mentioned with the new co-written song, indie artists have all the jobs as just one person. And taking a break feels like career suicide. So you're overworked and worn out all the time.

Knowing that it's the same thing other indie artists are going through should be a little bit comforting; you're not alone and all that. But for me, at least, it's also a very easy spiral into comparison. Feeling like other artists are doing more or doing it better, and trying so hard and giving my all and still being left wondering why I can't just be better at it. Why I'm somehow still not doing enough.

And that hashtag reminded me that it feels draining and exhausting for all of us. And honestly made me feel so silly for wanting to complain and compare when my experience was really, truly, average. 😅 (Obviously it is different for everyone to some degree, and for me with all my many limitations, but for the sake of the art...)

"Running 'round the seven circles" came from thinking about how that quintessential indie experience of burnout comes from constantly feeling like there's too much to do and you're always behind.

So the reference to the seven circles of hell was 100% my way of saying "running around like a chicken with its head cut off", but make it ✨drama✨😂 But while also acknowledging that we do it to ourselves 🫣

Gotta pull yourself together while you go out of your mind / Practicing your smile 'cause you don't have time to cry / Always gotta be on so they don't eat you alive [/ Yeah you indie pop girl

I think honestly a lot of this song is pretty self-explanatory, but it is fun to dive deeper into it. 😅 The whole second half of the chorus is really just about feeling like you need to be "on" all the time. Like you're constantly performing. Because if you're not; if the mask slips and people see that you're human, they won't like you (or your art) as much.

Which is of course pretty silly...because people I think like being able to relate to art, and being able to relate to the artist themselves just adds an extra layer to that. And I think that makes connecting with people through art that much better and cooler.

But it's not entirely unwarranted, either. Because there are also a lot of people who want to view artists and people they like as somehow "other than". They don't want us to be real people. And if we show ourselves to be, it can open us up to more criticism.

So it can be a very wobbly line to toe. 🤷‍♀️

*I am very grateful that my whole music career is truly built on me just being me, vulnerability, flaws, and all. 🥰