voiceunmuted

Unfinished Song-in-Progress: Monster

Sooooo...remember how I talked about having this deep seated belief that I am secretly a monster; that I am, deep down, a terrible, manipulative, mean-spirited person with a selfish desire to take advantage of people for my own personal gain...and I'm just really good at convincing people otherwise and pretending otherwise to myself? 😅🫣

I think, ultimately, this belief is rooted in family and relationship trauma, and the clinical narcissist in my life who will remain unnamed, but...

First Recordings: Picture Perfect pt.1 (Verse)

Most often these days, I only share one of the first recordings for each song. Typically because a lot of them remained pretty similar to the final product, so I just pick the one that's the most dissimilar so we can hear the progression of ideas. But this song. My goodness. I think I just had so many things I wanted to say, so much pent up frustration with the situation that led me to writing this, that it took me a few more iterations to get from the initial ideas to the more polished and t...

Food Vibes: A Delicate Constituion

I'll be honest, I did not have a plan for this post when I put it in the schedule, but thank you so much to my body for deciding to contract COVID specifically so I would have something to talk about today...

Ps. I have added to this Taylor Swift rewrite and I think I'm funny, so...something to look forward to in a future stream maybe 😅

In case you hadn't heard, I am quite terribly sick at the moment. It started Friday evening with a sore and swollen throat, and by Sun...

Health Updates: Working Overtime (WORKOUT! 🎸)

I know it isn't time for this yet, but I have so much to share in the few days since the last update 😅 BUT IT'S A GOOD THING (kind of)!

Last week I already mentioned that the Botox is working overtime. But I need to tell just HOW much overtime it is working. Because I'm extremely impressed 👀

Last Friday evening, I started to feel my pre-seizure aura, and I knew the Botox was working, so I wasn't particularly concerned, but it did prompt me to check out the air pressure agai...

Health Updates: What's Crackalackin! (it's me)

As you may have garnered from the title...my bones are um...all cracked up 😅 But more importantly for now: The Botox is working again!! 🥳

I know this happens every time with the Botox, but I somehow keep forgetting...and this time I think it's more pronounced than before (possibly, though, I am biased because the previous dose wasn't as effective as previous doses). And that is that while the Botox does work and helps with my migraines a lot, it seems to mostly just block the pain...

Spotify Wrapped Blooper Reel

As you may know, for the past few years, Spotify has given creators the opportunity to upload a video for their top fans on the platform. I have never participated in this before for a couple of reasons: 1. I am unwell and honestly just rarely have the energy to be "on" for an extra recording, and 2) arguably more prohibitively, I am simply an awko taco. 😂🙈 I am so awkward! And I know that everyone already knows that, but it is a very different awkward talking to my phone/screen for rec...

Bloopers: B-Team - Marianas Trench

So I've learned that I can no longer reasonably clip these videos together on my old laptop, because the software shuts down randomly at 3-40 minute intervals because my laptop just can't handle running it...so...no more making these videos from the couch. 🥲 Did I still make this one from the couch? Absolutely I did. But instead of editing the clips together all at once, I had to individually clip out and save the 26 clips that are in this video, one by one so that when the program shut do...

Behind-the-Song: indie pop girl pt.3/4

Here we have context for the chorus in the form of examples of what inspires some that feeling of needing to be "on" all the time. And also the bridge, where it's more of a moment of reflection of whether my methods are um...reasonable or, you know...healthy? 😅🫣

(Shhh pretend the bridge is in the photo; it's totally there, I'm sure of it)

A fair warning for the breakdown of this section of the song, it is...a little darker and more upsetting than most of the rest of the song...

First Mixes: indie pop girl

Can you guess my feedback on this one? 👀

Just kidding, I'm going to tell you right away this time, because what I learned from last time is: I will forget to go back 😅

This sounds great, right? Crushed it in one!

But the problem was that it just felt kind of...flat. The choruses should really pick up and feel big and intense, but they don't feel much different from the verses here. Which, and I said this to Alanna at the time, is so confusing, because there's a ton goi...

First Recordings: indie pop girl

The way this song ended up so similar, but so different from this first recording is absolutely wild to me 🤯

Obviously the melody is a little bit different here than how it ended up, but before I properly comment on that, I just have to say I think it's funny that in both iterations of the melody, I don't really have enough time to breathe 😂 I truly do not write my songs to be sung by humans.

It's such a small difference in the melody. The cadence is the same, but there's j...

Unfinished Song Vault: over my head

I have been worse at messaging people in the past 6 months to a year than ever before in my life. And that's not just community things, but also the people closest to me in my life.

I'm sure I've talked about it plenty, but I've just never had a lot of energy for messaging. In the past, prior to starting streaming, at any given time in my life there would be maybe 2-3 people that I would message regularly. That was what I could handle. If there was anything else I responded to...

Behind-the-Song: indie pop girl pt.2

I think when I'm writing a song, I'm not always actively thinking about the structure it should have or when certain messages should be; I just write want I want to say and hope for the best 😅

The verses for this song are really just giving context to and examples of the "performance" of being an artist. How that feeling of needing to be "on" all the time manifests and some of what inspires that feeling.

These first verses are very much the former: how the feeling of needing t...

Health Updates: Survived Another Day!

I don't have a ton to update on today, truthfully 😅 BUT I successfully (if narrowly) avoided my allergies MANY times in the past week! 🙌 So, no big deal or anything, but I basically survived a face-to-face with death 💁‍♀️

KIDDINGGGGGG

I mean, I did successfully avoid my allergies, even when they were harder to avoid, but that's just an average Tuesday 😂

On a more serious note, I am really just very exhausted lately and my body is pretty mad at me. Having co...

Behind-the-Song: indie pop girl pt.1

The hashtag song! 😅 This song was 100% inspired and brought to you by a hashtag that I saw on another indie artist's instagram post...I don't usually read the hashtags, but when I do...

This song was honestly so fun to write, but I also hated it so much when I first finished it and I do not know why. I think I just didn't love the cadence of the chorus? I'm really not sure. But once I heard it with a band, I really came around 👍

This song was really meant to...

Bloopers: Free - KPop Demon Hunters

I'm going to be so real with you, I tried really hard to cut this into a shorter, sillier, more manageable bloopers reel like the usual ones, but the program crashed THREE TIMES and after losing the hour and a half I put into that third attempt, I GAVE UP. So...this is honestly just the full section of the VOD from the stream when I recorded this. And I am very sorry about it.

It would have been much better and funnier if technology hadn't chosen violence, but alas.

I might try t...

NEW SONG: Keep Going / Can't Stop - Co-Write with Tom Thomas

My FIRST EVER co-write! It's still not quite fully set in stone, but is a song ever really fully off-the-table for edits? 💁‍♀️

(Official title TBD) Tom named the song for the overarching message he wants it to send, which I think is great, but...I personally have been calling it "Can't Stop" because it's a similar message, but also acknowledges more of my own personal feelings that went into the song - plus it's a lyric! So that's an added bonus.

You may notice that this...

Behind-the-Song: Vampires pt.4

I said exsanguination AND I MEANT IT (kind of 😂)

I just want to be clear first and foremost that "exsanguination's real slow" is in fact the original way I wrote that last line. And I almost took it out of the song and replaced it with just "they're gonna drain you real slow". Because both lines fit. And low-key I was so in my head that a) people would not understand it or know what it means, and b) I got in my head about the concept of "you can't put that in a song". Becaus...

First Mixes: Vampires Vibe Check

SURPRISE! I lied on the calendar, and instead of getting more vampires bedroom recordings, today you get the first vibe check for vampires with vocals, and next week you might just get the first ever recording of the yet-to-be-shared NEW co-write with Tom 👀

I wish I had the foresight to have saved all of the original vibe checks and mixes for each song, so I could really show you all the full progression, but alas, I only managed to keep some of them 🤦‍♀️ This one, though, I...

New Song Preview: Tom Thomas Collab - Keep Going / Can't Stop

As you may have heard, while I was on my week-long break, I decided to get together with Tom Thomas to co-write a song 👀

After chatting for a while about what's been going on in each of our lives, and some things we've been wanting to write about, we decided to write about the battle with our own brains about being indie artists.

As an indie artist, you have all the jobs. You are the creative, the talent, the manager, the promoter, the tech person, communications person, the pu...

Food Vibes: ✨Apple Crisp Recipe✨

This is quite possibly the easiest way to impress people with an autumnal dessert 🍂

I am starting to wonder if part of why I prefer baking to cooking is that I know a good number of super simple, but super delicious recipes... 😅 Apple crisp/crumble are such classic autumn desserts and are always such a hit at parties, thanksgiving dinners, and just for funsies to give yourself a sugar high and a food coma at the same time, maybe 😂

✨The Recipe✨

2025-10-21 15:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post

Health Updates: What the butts 🍑

I'm an IBS girlie and I think I'm funny, what can I say? 😂

This week has honestly been such a dumpster fire for my health and I truly do not have a good explanation, but I am pretty glad I had the week off of streams 😅

My week off started with two very exciting visits: BurgerBoi and Mama HK visited from the Thursday - Saturday, and Waltermellin stopped through on his way to Toronto on the Friday. Which was FANTASTIC and so fun to spend some time together and a great excuse t...

Health Updates: A true ✨POP✨ star

Good news: I saw my physiotherapist about my hand and he has been able to help! Also news: I might have made him look/feel a little silly 😅

So as you may remember, I felt something roll in my hand while I was cutting my eggs benedict a couple weeks ago... 😅 I finally got it checked out! And the first thing I said when I got to my physiotherapist's office was: "I am here for possibly the dumbest reason, and I am also not confident that it's something you can help with...but I didn'...

Behind-the-Song: Vampires pt.3

GUYS. I was genuinely so scared about putting this into a song 🙈

You may have noticed from the first two song breakdowns for this one, that while the concept of the song was always feeling drained by the type of work I do and feeling like I need to do/give more, but not being able to, etc. etc., it was never explicit. I am usually pretty intentional about my lyrics, and try to make sure that I am communicating what I want to be.

But for this song, because I didn't want the Com...

First Recordings: Vampires Intro

I feel like I originally wrote this song for someone else to sing it 😅

Very little has changed since this first version, but I just think it's interesting how I originally imagined it to be...more jazzy, I guess? Melodically, it really hasn't changed, but it somehow feels so different now compared to this first recording!

That being said...I did write this while exhausted and drained and mildly concussed, so...it is possible that it sounds this way partly because I was...

Behind-the-Song: Vampires pt.2

You asked for it! 😅

Also, I realized like...several days after saying on stream that I haven't shared the lyrics/chord sheet for this and don't know if I plan to...that I uploaded the lyrics for all the Villain EP songs to streaming services 😂 So I straight up LIED TO YOU. My bad 😬

I know I use imagery and metaphor a lot in my song writing, but I really do think this is my best work on that front.

There's a coven on every corner / I got nowh...

2025-10-03 01:32:24 +0000 UTC View Post

Food Vibes: Meal Planning

I know it is very much my 'tism to eat the same things over and over again, but I honestly am curious what other people do. If you're not eating the same thing all the time, how do you decide what to eat?

Do you have like...specific meals you rotate throughout the week, or do you decide each individual day? What if you don't feel like having the thing you normally have?? Do you just eat it anyway, or do you make/order something else? And if you have something else, how do you decide?<...

Health Updates: Sweater Weather 🍂

The seasons are changing and I'm falling apart about it (literally) 😅🙈

I truly do not understand how it still catches me off guard that all my symptoms are worse when the weather/seasons are changing. And yet here I am, once again surprised by my body doing the same thing it does quarterly. 😂 One day I will learn and be prepared...today is not that day.

Good news first: as you may have heard in streams, the Botox is starting to work! ✨ This is EXC...