Scumbag Hero Academia 29

“Good. You all look to be in good condition. It’s time for this training camp to really begin,” Aizawa declares for the benefit of his students as they appear in the clearing made for their use.

“What, the monster forest didn’t count?!” Kaminari asks, looking incredulous that such an experience somehow didn’t count as training.

“As training?” Pixie-Bob, the blue pussycat asks rhetorically. “No. That was just to give us all an idea of what you kids can do and how you do it. A first-hand look so we could work together with your teacher for a purrfect training regimen tailored to each and every one of you!”

“You all know the limits of your quirks aren’t fixed,” Aizawa continues, his lack of energy completely mismatched with Pixie-Bob’s enthusiasm. “Just like your muscles, your joints, your cardiovascular system, your quirks can be trained just like everything else. You’ll all have noticed by now that they’ve gotten stronger through all the trials you’ve endured even in just your first three months of UA. Your basic training classes, your exams, the sports festival. Each one designed to make you push yourselves to the utmost limit. To find those limits, and then to break them.” His eyes pass over the class, looking each student in the eye. “However, all of those trials had other motives that took precedence. This is your first experience of us working for only one purpose. To take your quirks and vastly increase their capabilities through breaking you over and over again.” He hears the scoff, tracks it to its source. Saiki understandably is less than impressed with the idea, it being something he has done in his own time, the results speaking for themselves.

He can sneer at it all he wants. The staff have other plans for him.

“Mandalay, are we linked up?” Aizawa asks, the red pussycat giving a confirmation. “Alright, emitter types, you’re with Pixie-Bob. She’ll detail what you’re going to be doing to get started. Mutant and transformation types, you’re with Tiger.” He watches as the students split into two groups, particularly one of them who sulks toward Tiger at the back of the pack. That one he grabs by the shoulder. “Not you.” The boy stares at him, uncomprehending but irritated. “Did you really think we’d just leave you to do what they’re doing when you’ve already been doing it for years?”

“Pretty much.”

“Much as that attitude problem of yours makes me want to leave you at Tiger’s mercy–”

“ALRIGHT, MIDORIYA! LET’S GET THOSE MUSCLES NICE AND LIMMMMBER!”

“AHHHHH!”

“–We’ve got someone else who can do more for you than he can.”

Saiki looks at him confused, only for someone else to not just appear, but drop directly between teacher and student. A familiar head of green hair and bright, manic eyes. “Hey there, sourpuss!”

He looks down at the chirpy pussycat, back up at his teacher. “Mutant with Tiger, got it.”

“Running away again?” Ragdoll asks his retreating back. He stops. “You’re so easy, you know that?” her bright voice asks, the mockery at odds with her endlessly cheerful tone.

Slowly, he nods to himself. “You’re right. I should just keep walking away.”

“You could...” He can hear the grin in her voice as she follows him step for step. “But you won’t learn what I figured out about your quirk. The thing that could let you get way stronger way faster.” His steps slow but don’t stop. “Guess you gotta decide. Your strength or your pride. Hmmmmm?” He stops. “Pride or strength.” His shoulders shake. “Strength orrrrrr–”

“For fuck’s sake, fine!”

“Thank god,” Aizawa murmurs. “He’s all yours, Ragdoll. If you could do something about that attitude problem while you train him, that’d be great.”

“No promises!” the pussycat answers. “Come with me, sourpuss!”

Audible grinding of teeth, grumbling under his breath, stomping his feet far harder than necessary, all of this as Saiki follows the most annoying person he has ever met into a not quite private area of the clearing. Still in sight of the others but far enough away that they can’t be casually heard. “I don’t even know why I followed you. You think you know something about my quirk that I don’t?”

“Well, if you don’t know it, you’re an idiot. But if you do then you’re a way bigger idiot. Guess you better hope I’m right then, huh? Face this way.” She grins as he turns so he faces away from the rest of his class, from his teacher and from the rest of the pussycats. “Good good!” She bounces over into his personal space then immediately shoves her hand down his pants.

Saiki’s eyes widen for an instant, before a familiar smirk crosses his lips. “If this is going where I think it is, you better be ready for the hatefuck of your life.”

“I could do better,” she replies with a toothy smile, her fingers not stroking his shaft or punishingly squeezing his balls, but instead feeling at the base of his penis. Where it was perceptibly thicker than the rest of it. Not to meet his pubic region, but instead a much less natural bulge. Smaller than but not dissimilar to a dog’s knot. “I noticed when I got a look last night. This is strange, and your balls are way bigger than they should be. How and when did this happen?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Just answer the question you surly jackass,” the support hero demands. “Do you want my help with your quirk or not?”

He grumbles under his breath. “I was having sex with a girl and she put this thing on me that wouldn’t let me cum. It was like a little band around my dick or something that would squeeze down when I was about to finish. It hurt, and my body adapted in a way that tried to break it.”

“Oh, did it have a little bag to go around your balls?”

Saiki blinks. “Uhh... Yeah. How’d you–?”

“Used it before. A guy who was into that kind of submissive stuff. Never would’ve pegged you for that kind of thing.” Suddenly, she breaks into light giggles. “Heheh, ‘pegged’.”

“I wasn’t,” the ornery student growls, then winces. “I mean I’m not. It was a game and I lost.”

“Whatever, don’t care,” she casually dismisses his irritation as she has at every opportunity since meeting him. “This was just a one-off encounter?”

“It was the only time I went through anything like that, yeah.”

“And your balls growing?” she asks, her fingers getting a feel for their unnaturally swelled size. She notes that within ten seconds of her hand on his junk he’s already hard. “Was that from then too? How about your quick erection?”

“No. Well, a little. It got worse from that but it first happened during a sex marathon that went for about three days.” He gives the pussycat a strange look. “Why do you care? Reconsidering that hatefuck?”

“It’d probably be fun, but no,” she lets him down far more gently than before. “I care because you underwent an adaptation that was way more significant than anything else, one that changed the shape of your body from a baseline human. You didn’t think that was strange?”

His lips purse, his eyes, then his head looks to the side, avoiding her expectant stare in embarrassment. “Not until now, no.”

Her hand retreats from his pants, giving him a patronising, soft slap in the face with the same hand. “And that’s why you’re only a regular garden variety idiot! Good job! Don’t feel too put out. The number of people who totally misunderstand how their quirks work is really, really big.”

He counts to ten–

“I mean not that big? Most people have it all figured out by your age. So you’re still kind of dumb. But there’s still outliers who don’t get how things work. There’s even some people who use it as much as you do and still don’t get it. Not many of those though.”

Scratch that. He counts to five. Ten just gives her time to come up with more trash talk. “Okay,” he finally says, sighing through his nose. “I am an idiot. Now that that’s out of the way, what do you think you’ve discovered about my quirk?” Because if it turns out she’s wrong and she just tells him something he already knows he isn’t sure what he might do. She probably won't like it though.

“How do you think it works?” she prompts him first.

“When I go through some kind of strain or stress, my quirk lets me adapt to better handle that stress, then when I heal the adaptation becomes permanent. If I get hurt, I get tougher. If I get tired, it takes more to get me tired. If I don’t eat I don’t need to eat as often.”

“And it’s all automatic?” the pro asks, her head tilting inquisitively. “One to one, problem to solution?”

“That’s right.”

“That’s wrong.”

He blinks at the sudden rejection. Sees the slight frown in Ragdoll’s eyes, even as her lips continue to smile. “What do you mean that’s wrong? That’s how it’s always worked.”

“My quirk is called ‘Search’,” the cat-themed hero informs him, “It lets me track people, and also to see their weaknesses. It’s a useful quirk when it comes to search and rescue, but also for helping people with training, or noticing things other people can’t see. After I saw you in the forest, and then at the hot spring, I got curious. I asked your teacher about you, got some of your school records, the report from your internship.” 

With every listed item Saiki’s eyebrows rose. She had gone through all of that effort? Going through all of that would’ve been a full night’s work, and she did it for him after he was such an asshole? 

“Mirko had surprisingly good things to say about you. Well, she said she gave you an attitude adjustment but I guess that didn’t take. But something her report said stood out. She noted as part of your training she broke all your limbs before letting you rest. Then the next day you’d come back stronger and faster.” She stared. Let that statement sink in. “Not more durable. Stronger. Physically stronger.” She waits a beat for any kind of response. “You didn’t notice?”

“I... I was doing other training outside of my internship so it made sense I would get stronger. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You said it yourself. You did it outside your internship. Did you do it during?”

“I mean Mirko and I sparred a lot–”

“Did it cause you stress that would’ve been solved by more strength?”

He thinks back. And the answer is obviously no. Mirko kicking his ass up and down her training room only caused him the same kind of strain as getting his limbs broken. Something that would increase his durability.

“There isn’t a lot of information on how your father’s quirk worked.” She chooses not to pay attention to how the boy’s fists clench at the mention of a parent. “Only arrest reports and his quirk registration form. He was only ever said to get one kind of boost from stress. A strength boost.”

“So...” He struggles to push his useless frustration about that person aside. “So what you’re saying is...”

She nods. Even angry, he can still pick up on her point. Good for him. “You are the kind of lucky cat who gets not one parent’s quirk, or an awkward combination, but instead both at once. Your mother had regeneration. Your father had a boost from stress. But he only got strength. That means either your ability to get other boosts came out of nowhere or...”

“Or he could’ve gotten other kinds of boosts too, but he didn’t because he was the kind of piece of shit who got off on feeling strong for five minutes.”

Ragdoll’s eyes flick right, then left. Decides she doesn’t need to point out the hypocrisy there. If he’s actually calming down and getting reflective that’s probably better for everyone. “Exactly! The input is stress, the output is a boost, but you get to choose what the boost is! Every time you lifted weights until your muscles tore, you wanted to get stronger! Every time you exhausted yourself, you wanted to have more endurance! Every time you starved yourself...” She pauses. “What the hell kind of circumstances did you think would happen that you’d need to starve yourself, dummy?!”

“I don’t know!” he answers, throwing his arms up in the air. “When I first started I trained whatever I could think of!” He drops to the grass, head in his hands. “I can’t believe this. How did I not notice?”

“Confirmation bias is a bitch!” Ragdoll answers cheerfully, doing cartwheels around her temporary student for basically no reason beyond wanting to. “You thought you knew how it worked and every time you used it, it worked exactly as you thought! Until you got to UA and had more specific goals in mind, that is!”

“If that’s how it really works... I can keep getting stronger,” he realises. “If I just focus on that I won’t fall behind!”

“Little bit of a one track mind, but sure!” Ragdoll agreed in a handstand in front of him.

“Wait,” his head comes up again to look at the pussycat, seeing her blinking frantically at him while upside-down. “If that’s what you figured out, what does that have to do with my dick?”

“Ohhhh! Right, I almost forgot!” Her legs lower, not to get back on her feet but instead to wrap them around his neck, sitting on his shoulders. Not that he minds much. “That part’s more like a theory than anything I can say for sure. But what I’m thinking is your quirk works harder and has a bigger effect depending on how much you feel you need it! Same as most things, really. If you’re angry you punch harder, kind of thing? Sex has a huge emotional aspect to it. That sex marathon of yours? Where you were under pressure to perform? Big adaptation. Your session as a sub when you’ve got a big honkin’ inferiority complex? Oh boy!”

“I don’t have an inferiority complex! I’m not inferior!” he snaps.

“Right, right. If you did, you’d lose it at any hint there’s something wrong with you and you’d have a crazy need to prove you’re better than everyone else.” She leans forward, letting him see the absurd, wide-eyed grin on her face.”

He scowls at her. “I fucking hate you.”

Her grin gains teeth. “I know!” Leaning back, she rolls off of his shoulders and onto her feet with barely any effort. “Now you get to actually do training!”

He sighs. If he never has to talk to this woman again it will still be too soon. “Fine.” Now that he knows what he knows, he can get more out of it for less. “What am I doing?”

“Running into the most dangerous parts of everyone else’s training!” Ragdoll answers happily. “I would recommend starting with Todoroki.”

The blue-haired boy gets to his feet, searches the area around for the two-tone legacy hero. Finding him sat in a barrel while alternating filling the area around him with fire and ice. “Yeah, that works.” Taking off at a run he dives into the inferno.

“SAISEI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!”

-(-)-

“I don’t care if you’re heat resistant, don’t jump into a blazing inferno!”

“I don’t care if you’re a pansy, just because my skin gets a little red is no reason to stop!”

“YOU WERE ON FIRE!”

“I can be on fire. It’s fine you big baby.”

“There’s no talking to you,” Todoroki grunts angrily. “I liked you better when I didn’t have to interact with you at all.”

Saiki smirks, unrepentant. “I have that effect on guys.”

“You have that effect on everyone,” the son of Endeavour grumbles as he walks off to help with roasting the vegetables.

“I know some people who would disagree!” Saiki shouts after him.

“Am I on that list?”

He turns, finds the source of the voice, not that he doesn’t know who it is just from the sound. “Izuku,” he greets her, not quite sure what he should feel talking to her anymore. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she greets back, wearing an awkward smile of her own. “I... Can I talk to you about something? I need your help.”

He frowns. Both wanting and not wanting to talk to her at once. But it’ll cost him nothing. “Sure. Actually you know what? Let’s call it favour for a favour.”

“I can accept that,” she agrees. “I need your help talking to Kota.”

“... I have no idea who that is.”

“He’s the boy the pussycats are looking after.”

“Okay...” he draws out the word. “So now I have no idea why you want to talk to him.”

“I don’t just want to–” She looks away, realising she isn’t explaining well. “He hates heroes. I want to find a way to convince him that heroes aren’t bad.”

Her ex boyfriend blinks at her in confusion. “Okay, I’m clearly still missing something. Why does it matter that a little kid doesn’t worship heroes like most kids do? It’s not a big deal.”

“His parents were heroes. They died fighting a villain. He hates heroes because he feels like his parents abandoned him.” She grimaces. “I figured since you kind of live on spite and also kind of hate your–”

“Nope,” he quickly cuts her off. “You need to stop there before you push a button you don’t want to push.” The only reason he hasn’t already blown up at her is for someone else having already pushed that particular button today. “You want to know what to say to him to make him stop hating his parents and resenting heroes? How about nothing.” She looks hurt by his words, so he does his best to soften his tone a little. “He’s a traumatised kid who’s sad his parents died. Not exactly a one-to-one with my situation, but what are you thinking you could say to him to make that better?”

Her expression and tone are frustrated. “I don’t know! That’s why I came to ask you for advice! If you don’t want to give it then just–”

“I am giving it, Izuku. Just listen to me,” he asks, or more demands. “You can’t tell someone they’re wrong to be angry. That just makes them more angry at you for thinking you know how they should feel.” He would have thanked Ragdoll for teaching giving him that particular experience to draw on, if he weren’t so pissed at her. “If the kid believes heroes are rotten because of fucked up priorities then that’s what he’s gonna believe until proven otherwise.” He leans back, folds his arms defensively. “But hey, if you still wanna try, go ahead and give him a big speech. See how sounding like a hero PSA works out for you.”

All Might’s successor grimaces, visibly fights down her annoyance. “Could you be less of a jerk if you’re actually going to give me good advice?”

He blinks, his lips pursing in confusion and mild hurt. “I wasn’t being a jerk, was I?” He was genuinely trying to help.

She sighs. “Thanks, Saiki. Now what did you want?”

“... I want to know how strong you are.”

Of all requests, she isn’t expecting that one. “What?”

He looks away. Pauses. Then looks back at her, making certain to maintain eye contact. If she’s his goal he won’t flinch away from her. “I was watching what happened on top of the I-Island tower. You were right there beside All Might. Like you were his equal.” He notes her wince, continuing. “I know he’s been training you. And I know when we fought in the festival you were massively holding back. Yes, I know you had to. I just want to know. If you can go all out like you did on the tower, are you as strong as All Might? Stronger?”

She freezes, her eyes wide. Doesn’t know whether she should answer with secrets on the line. But he isn’t asking for details. She looks away for a moment, then meets his gaze again. “Stronger. I don’t know by how much but I’m definitely stronger.” That’s how the quirk works, after all.

Saiki’s eyes close, his head dipping as he takes in that confirmation. Just like Ragdoll had said. All Might isn’t his goal. It’s the people who want to surpass him just like he does. “Okay.”

“Alright...” the greenette trails off, not knowing what that was about. “I guess I’ll see you–”

“Wait,” Saiki requests, “One more thing. I need to ask you something else. I... Need to know how to make a good apology.”

She sighs in exasperation. “I thought it was favour for a favour?”

“Yeah, but... You’re a good person who likes to help people?”

“... Momo?” she asks, getting a nod. Her eyes close. “Know what you’re apologising for, mean it, and it’ll be a good apology.”

“Thanks, Izuku.”

-(-)-

“Momo.”

“Saiki?”

He catches her outside of the baths. Or rather, them. Momo and Kyoka both emerging at once. Best friends. Lovers. If Momo were to leave last it would only make sense if Kyoka were right there with her.

“... Hi.” It isn’t an elegant start. Barely even a competent one. Kyoka’s glare isn’t helping his confidence in showing vulnerability for once in his life. “I wanted to ap–” No, he stops himself. He doesn’t want to apologise. He is apologising. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting the past couple of days. Ignoring you.”

“No, no!” Momo immediately responds, eagerly, even desperately. “It was my fault too! I shouldn’t have been so pushy when I saw you were upset and–”

“Momo, don’t do that,” Kyoka scolds her. “You didn’t do anything wrong so don’t apologise for him.”

“She’s right,” Saiki immediately agrees with the more petite girl, getting genuine surprise from her in response. “You tried to reach out and help and I pushed you away anyway. It wasn’t right. So... I’m sorry. I was going through some things, feeling bad about myself. Letting other people see that kind of weakness has never worked out for me so my first reaction is to shut everyone out. It... Probably would’ve helped a lot if I actually talked to someone about it.” Someone who wasn’t deliberately trying to piss him off so he’d vent via explosion. He knows what Ragdoll was doing back then. He knows it worked. He doesn’t have to like it.

“Curfew isn’t for another half an hour...” Momo tells him with a weak but desperate smile. “Maybe we could talk about it now?”

“... I can try.”

“Great!” she cheers, only to backpedal slightly. “I mean, not great but I’m glad you’re willing to open up a little! I’ll go to the cafeteria and see if there are any leftovers! I’ll be right back!” With that, she’s gone, still with a towel wrapped around her shoulders as she rushes off to the cafeteria.

“I guess... I’ll follow?” Saiki concludes, not particularly wanting to just hang around outside the women’s baths. He might be a self-absorbed lech most of the time but that’s a step beneath him.

“... I was gonna tell her to dump you, you know,” Kyoka informs him dryly.

“I don’t know if she would’ve listened to you.”

The petite punk sighs. “Neither do I. She’s kind of a hopeless case.”

“Not like you?”

Kyoka scoffs, giving him a sideways glare. “I already accepted you’re a bastard. She actually thinks you could be a decent person.”

“Don’t know what gave her that idea.”

“Yeah, well, apologising’ll only make her delusions worse.”

He nods, agreeing. “You would’ve been right.” He looks at her out of his periphery. “To tell her to dump me, I mean. I’m not the type of guy who’ll be good for her. She’s incredibly giving and I’m incredibly selfish. I’ll just take and take and take.”

“Why are you telling me this then?” she has to ask. “If I was already intending to, and now you’re saying I would’ve been right to, why tell me I should?”

He snorts. “Because that’s what you should have done if I stayed how I was. It’s what you would have done. A month from now. A year. At some point you would’ve realised I’m not good enough for her. Maybe she would listen to you, maybe not.” He shrugs. “But like I said, I’m selfish. I don’t want to let either of you go. So if being a better boyfriend is the sacrifice I have to make to ensure I keep you, I’ll do it. After all, getting better at things is what I do.”

She gives him a strange look that appropriately matches the strange feelings she’s experiencing. It’s not every day someone tells her they plan to be less of a bastard so they can be more of a bastard.

As they arrive in the cafeteria they find Momo not only waiting for them but with a table prepared with elegantly arranged leftovers for them to enjoy together.