When You Fell from Heaven — 28 — With the Devil on your Back (15.5k words)
Added 2025-12-16 23:44:03 +0000 UTC
Comments
And debating Britishism on "it did me" the page before? I'm actually wondering how much Banger might be filtering into our Cali girls.
Zenmadster
2026-01-02 06:09:57 +0000 UTCIneffable re-read, found one zap: "and nor" near the top of page 33 (PDF) feels like the "and" should be gone. ^^;
Zenmadster
2026-01-02 06:02:49 +0000 UTCAs someone who's basically forced to watch too many reno shows, I'm actually taking it as an anachronism. They didn't want to use linoleum for so long that when it got back in "style" they tried to make it sound more friendly.
Zenmadster
2025-12-30 06:46:23 +0000 UTCNot sure if you want potential britishisms reported here, but you reference Mr G planted in the lino. It may be just me, but I've never heard linoleum shortened like that.
Jaye R.
2025-12-28 01:36:04 +0000 UTCYeah, but he also needs to stop trying to justify what his wife is doing and STOP MISGENDERING YOUR DAUGHTER! I really felt that Taylor was about five seconds away from the nut shot she was thinking about.
Anonymous
2025-12-20 09:28:37 +0000 UTCA) Aaaahhhh (still screaming from the last chapter, so I never got an actual comment out). B) I'm moving Luca G from the dog house to the penalty box; just the fact that he went to Taylor's house for help feels like a big step.
Zenmadster
2025-12-20 04:43:54 +0000 UTCThat might be a UK term, I'll check later
Alyson Greaves
2025-12-19 04:42:25 +0000 UTCThis is wild! Love it! One tiny little edit: I dont remember anyone calling it a 'land line' in 2003, it would be just the home phone and not a cell phone
Cargie
2025-12-19 04:41:53 +0000 UTCI'm only writing it out in words in dialogue, which I admit is not something I'm wedded to lol
Alyson Greaves
2025-12-19 03:32:12 +0000 UTCGreat continuation of the story. Minor quibble. Instead of saying Nine-Eleven, just say it as 9-11. Otherwise a great story!
Curt Whiteley
2025-12-19 03:24:09 +0000 UTCI loved the journey from "oh, this is a dream sequence" to "oh, it's a fucking bushfire"
Maya
2025-12-18 05:33:36 +0000 UTCI was in Korea that fall, and had a long field problem that October . . . I don’t remember that fire at all . . . It came as a total surprise to me.
Wren Roberts
2025-12-17 22:50:03 +0000 UTCThis is fantastic, so glad to have more WYFFH.
Cassi_tastrophe
2025-12-17 20:40:25 +0000 UTCAnd now I've finished it. No notes. Fantastic.
Ashley B
2025-12-17 20:32:06 +0000 UTCMrs Giordano is absolutely going to take this as divine wrath lol. I can see her going full Disney villain based on that belief. Also that hymn takes me back to primary school in 70s England. That and "When a Knight Won His Spurs". I can just hear the detuned piano.
Rhea Myers
2025-12-17 18:29:43 +0000 UTC
